Dr. Jaime Zuckerman (Dr. Z)
Dr. Jaime Zuckerman (Dr. Z)
Dr. Jaime Zuckerman is a licensed clinical psychologist and national expert in narcissistic abuse. She is a highly sought-after relationship coach for those experiencing narcissistic abuse, as well as the sole owner and founder of The Z Group, a private therapy practice specializing in anxiety, depression, and complex relationship dynamics.
Dr. Z is the author of two interactive workbooks. Her first workbook, titled “Find Your Calm: A Workbook to Manage Anxiety,” garnered great success, prompting her to pen a second workbook titled, “Find Good Habits: A Workbook for Daily Growth.” She is an accomplished and active media contributor, as well as an influential social media personality in the mental health space. Dr. Z's podcast, “Next Up: Narcissism,” tackles the hard questions about narcissistic abuse, relationships, and mental health.
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY & NOT INTENDED TO DIAGNOSE/PROVIDE TREATMENT.
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Spot on! So validating. Thank you
Happy you found it validating :)
Dear Dr J This was hands down the best video I have ever seen on this subject- it really helped me! There is a way out! Even with health problems- thanks!!!
So happy to hear that it helped you!
I was on a YT channel with a "narcissist expert. ".. He said some really good stuff. But I soon realized I had heard that "voice" before, taking the same sounding "breaths" at the proper intervals. I called "him" out on it. Sure enough, I heard that same exact voice and breaths on at least 2 other channels! It was AI! Of course, "he" offered specialized courses you could sign up for! You're right! AI, a great deceiver, is out to deceive.. Well, those taking advantage of it are..
Thanks for a great interview. ❤ Great information!
Glad you found it informative!
Wow so helpful. Thanks .
Glad you found it helpful.
My controlling and narcissistic mother made my wedding all about her. She grabbed the mic, started on her preachy spiritual monologue as she whipped out her phone to spew bible verses at the crowd, said my name to the mic and told me to "Listen" because what she has to say is important. I was so embarrassed for her and ashamed to be related to her. I promised myself that was going to be the last time she was going to have any control over me. It's been two years since I got married, and thankfully, since then, I've always had the luxury of walking away every time she threw one of her unreasonable tantrums and made things all about her.
I gave up when I was about thirty 5 now im fifty two Yeah, well at the same time, if you had a mom that abused you all the time, would you keep going back and getting abused? I mean, just think of getting smacked in the face every time you go home, oh I know my mom or my dad's gonna smack me in the face, if they. Don't like something I say, as an adult. Are you gonna keep going back and being in a relationship with that person they lie to you? They manipulate you, they put you down all the time they demean you? I mean, my mom was sitting there. Just fine, 1 minute and the next minute she turned looks at me like she just stepped in a doll, dog poop and I have no idea why. The reality is they have a problem that they never dealt with that they refuse to see, nor will they ever see it. No matter how much you cry, how much you, please how much you defend. Thank you. You cannot change the way they see you and it's not you. It's all in their own head. That's the worst part. Cause they don't even know you. They've never even met you. And you don't know them either. Because you've never really met them neither.
no contact was the only way for me to carry on ... the other semi or low contact was draining
I feel so validated! This video made me realize that I don’t have to feel guilty at all for setting boundaries. Thank you Dr. Z❤️
♥
So true, they get worse as they get older. The last 12 years of my life has been a living hell, after she interfered in my marriage and made sure she helped end it for good - since she had been telling me she was going to leave my father for the last 40 years but never did, so deflected her life onto mine making sure my marriage ended. Same as when I was a kid I always wanted to be an architect and started studying it at school, and at age 14 - when she was showing interested in me one day I asked if architecture was the right decision - she’s did ‘no I should change and be a book keeper because there wouldn’t be any jobs as architects in the future - being young and dumb I thought she would know best and steer me the right decisions in life - how I was so wrong - and at 51 realised my mother was a narcissist - and participated in ended my marriage to gain full control over me and my children and my life - and I have been her slave ever since and she’s been scapegoating me my whole life - it’s terrible for me - my siblings have escaped her wrath - me and my father have dealt with it forever - and am afraid it won’t end until she dies, then my older sister Golden child will take over. The worse part is after my marriage ended I’ve attracted narcissistic partners - my ex was my safe place after all - and if my mum had been supportive instead of absent our marriage may have coped, but once she offered my ex a massive cash payout to leave - he couldn’t resist it and left me and our 3 small kids . How could a mother want to ruin my life so bad. I’m scared if my dad dies - I will have no one who’s got my back 😢
1:04:11 There DOES seem to be something amis, when the patriarchy has to reach THOUSANDS OF YEARS INTO MYTH, IN ORDER TO "JUSTIFY" UNDERCUTTING THE OTHER HALF OF THE POPULATION.
I can't believe this channel isn't so much more viewed and popular. Excellent content. Thank you. What you provide is invaluable.
Thanks so much! That means a lot :)
46:32 Imo there's a patriarchally based misappropriation of the benefit of the doubt, which many men purposely exploit.
I bet Amber Heard would have been accused of "breakup violence," had the term been canned then.
thank you for this, and so much more Dr. Z!
aww thank you!
Nailed it!
Thank you!
My wife is the scapegoat to her narcissistic mother. My wife is finally on board and sees it for about two years. We have been married over 11 years and we have two daughters. However, This is an ongoing struggle. My wife still has moments of feeling guilty. This has been a process. I fear that my wife will go back to accepting the abuse and then start resenting me. I also fear the physicalogical abuse that my inlaws may try to duplicate with our daughters. Pray for our family. Thank you for your content.
I'm so glad it's helpful
Might be helpful for her to listen to many podcasts on the subject and the comments too. I'm the scapegoat to a covert, passive aggressive mother. I feel guilty too, because she is 86 and my mother. Luckily she has her youngest son, the golden child, who can see after her. I tried, but just can't take her abuse anymore. 😢
Omg…. If I were married, this would be my story. I do have a bf of 3 years now. But I’m the scapegoat to my covert narc mom (and dad) and I have 2 daughters. Started to put things together like 6-7 years ago… life changing. I had been living the definition of insanity and I refuse to let that toxic environment continue into my daughter’s lives in any way. The cycle has to stop here. My mind and body feel sooo much better the more time and distance I put between me and my mother and even my grandmother. I’ll keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. I don’t think your wife will resent you at all. She may stumble here and there if she goes low contact but it’s just like any relapse…it doesn’t mean you failed. Just get back on track and continue from there. Your wife is probably seeing her mom different for the first time but she can’t unsee her own truth. The truth validates why she felt so off and misunderstood her whole life. There’s just no unseeing it. If you don’t mind me asking, how old is your wife and daughters? I’m 38 and my daughters are 14 and 11. I’ve accepted that I will have a certain relationship with my parents until my girls are adults and a different one after that. And I make sure to have good discussions with my daughters if there’s something I don’t agree with that happens in front of my daughters but to minimize conflict in front of them, I deescalate as much as possible if that makes sense. Definitely not perfect but it mitigates the damage when done right i believe. Therapists can be helpful also :)
Stay beautifully blessed
We all have them and father . Live before you die go to the true God.
😂
Brilliant, thank you both
Thanks for tuning in!
my mom has other mental isues, but she keeps saying I slept around and I never had ,she likes to stir the pot
I love you Jaime, my name is Nicolas, I'm from Argentina, finally after one and a half waiting months "Find your habit" arrived to my hands, thanks for teaching me about my internal scan in "Find your calm". That's all. You, Megan Devine and Dan Siegel are the people I love the most.
This means so much to me!! I am so happy you enjoy the book and my content :)
My suggestion is that you pull this video down. You’ve really got it all backwards. But I don’t blame you. Dr.Zuckerman, you’ve just made some mistakes here. And I don’t fault you because parental alienation is extremely confusing and complex. Please take this video down.
And the real irony is that parental alienation is almost always exacted by narcissist. And so the point of protecting innocent victims from narcissistic abuse, which is the focus of this channel, has really done a disservice to narcissistic abuse victims by featuring Tina. Please get a better understanding of parental alienation. It’s something that is pursued by narcissists . And narcissists can be women as well as men.
Don’t get me wrong. Tina may have really been a victim of her ex-husband. He may have been a true abuser that was improperly, using the concept of parental alienation. But that doesn’t make parental alienation an illegitimate claim for others. Please stop this madness.
Reunification programs, miss the point. Many experts will tell you they don’t work. It’s a desperate attempt to reconnect the child with the alienated parent. But unless the alienator is involved, and encourages the children to go, the whole thing will likely backfire. Parental alienation is highly misunderstood, and many of the solutions to deal with it are misguided, such as in these reunification programs. We are still in the dark ages of dealing with parental alienation, and some of the solutions, and some of the researchers haven’t got it right. But let’s not pretend that there are not some really sick people out there, that are willing to Weaponized, their children, just to hurt the other parent. This exist, and it’s existence is undeniable. and the children suffer the most from this, and their destiny is to suffer psychological problems for the rest of their lives when trapped in a situation like this. This needs to be addressed, and to distort the issue, the way Tina has, it means even more children will suffer.
Are you serious? Are you really asking what parent would turn their child against the other parent? Well, it’s a narcissist. We are talking about narcissist, and then you ask the question who can do this? Really. Do you think it’s such a stretch to think that parents can turn their children against the other parent? It happens all the time. Ask all kinds of parents, even those who have never heard of parental alienation, and they will tell you that they know at least one or two families where this has happened. You guys are reaching here, and it’s really disturbing.
It’s funny how Tina keeps calling her ex a narcissist. This is an easy term to throw around. How do we know that Tina is not a narcissist. Who is the one who’s seeking all the attention from her case? And who’s the one who’s playing the victim here? Narcissist are great playing the victim.
Parental alienation, by definition, isn’t present when there is real abuse occurring by the parent that is accusing the other of parental alienation. This is how it’s defined. And if this is confusing to you, this is a sign that you are treading on a topic that you don’t understand, and you are ill guided in terms of how you think this works. Tina Swiftin is dangerous
Richard Gardner is not the only professional who has researched parental alienation. There are many other experts who have researched and written about this phenomenon. These include Dr. Amy Baker, Dr. Steven Miller, Dr. Craig Childress, Dr. Jennifer harmon, dr. William Bennett l, dr. Karen Woodall, Dr. Richard Warschak and many others. I think everyone should have the right to speak out on something, even somebody who’s clearly not very educated. But when that person speaks out of ignorance, and doesn’t take the time to educate themselves, and seems to have a personal agenda that is not concerned with the truth, then that person is dangerous. Tina Swiftin is dangerous.
I have several personal friends that were alienated, that are women and moms. Parental alienation is even harder for the moms. When a narcissistic ex-husband engages in this against the mom, it’s just horrible. So not only is Tina swiftI hurting dads who are suffering from a legitimate issue, but she’s hurting moms who are also suffering from parental alienation. This woman is dangerous and has it all backwards.
If you read the literature and talk to the experts about parental alienation, it’s not filled with fathers rights advocates. You’ve completely distorted this issue. And this isn’t to say that father‘s rights is a bad movement. But you’ve just got it all wrong. It’s amazing how you’ve distorted this one topic to serve your own unique needs Tina.
If you read the literature and talk to the experts about parental alienation, it’s not filled with fathers rights advocates. You’ve completely distorted this issue. And this isn’t to say that father‘s rights is a bad movement. But you’ve just got it all wrong. It’s amazing how you’ve distorted this one topic to serve your own unique needs Tina.
There are support groups for parents suffering from parental alienation. These are the targeted parents, and the people usually pursuing parental alienation are narcissist. Again , Tina has it backwards. As far as I can see, there are more moms that are victims of parental alienation than fathers. One mom‘s battle takes her unique situation, and tries to project it onto a whole community of people who are suffering from a very real problem. Tina needs to stop this madness. This has nothing to do with father‘s rights. You guys are misguided and confused. I might be a father myself, but I know plenty of mothers suffering from this. You guys are doing more damage than you realize. Stop this madness.
Yes, children only need one healthy parent. But when that so-called healthy parent is actually working hard to cut out the other parent, we can’t really call that healthy, can we? And the reality is that not only mothers but fathers try to cut out the other parent. In other words, many moms are the victim of situations where there’s a manipulation, and what is being pursued is referred to as parental alienation. Parental alienation is real. There’s no doubt about it. can it be misused? Absolutely. Just like any form of abuse can be used for false accusations. But that doesn’t mean we throw the baby out with the bathwater. The manipulation and brainwashing of children is real. 100%. Before you have someone like this on your show, you should do a little more research to see what parental alienation is really about, and you’ll see it’s a legitimate practice that’s executed by both fathers and mothers to alienate mothers and fathersfrom their children. There are a lot of other true statements made on the show. Yes judges don’t know what they’re doing largely. Yes, the whole family court system is a mess. There are many problems. But one mom‘s battle has got it all wrong otherwise . Parental alienation is not the problem. It’s the system, and its inability to really properly understand parental alienation. This shows got it completely wrong. Thank God, only 17 people have viewed it.
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wtf is a narcissist
#trustmebro
been there
Wtf did i just watch get over him
Dr. Carter is in my daily rotation of podcasts. He knows how to break things down lovingly yet doesn’t shy away from telling it how it is. 💕🔥💥
I agree- He is awesome!
This was sooo good! I've learned a ton! Thank u both
So happy you enjoyed it!
Lets go
Thanks for tuning in :)
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Thank you for your excellent video, I also love Laura Richards who I've seen throughout the years on various documentaries. My 80yr old handicapped mum (ex battered wife, divorced) was a victim of coercive control by her heroin criminal son (50yrs). She was no doubt repeating the "trauma bond/learned helplessness/shame cycle" vicious circle. Nobody (police, safeguarding, elderly abuse, associations, etc) could do anything as long as my mum kept saying she was ok with him living with her. But that's the very problem ... of course, she's going to say that, because she is being coercively controlled to say that!! duh!! How can the victim decide what's in her best interests with coercion going on, that's the very definition of coercion ... the victim doesn't get to decide anything, all her decisions are coerced through force or threats. Concerning my mother, there was blatant abuse going on (financial, psychological, emotional, physical abuse). She only agreed after 4 years to escape from that nightmare when she could no longer breathe, no longer speak and yet he still had her begging my sister on the phone for more money! The recordings are absolutely harrowing to hear, I for one will have to get EMDR just to be able to cope with what I've heard on those phone messages, my heart and soul has been absolutely shattered. When my sister didn't give him the money he wanted for his heroin, he would continue punishing my mother, not letting her feed herself, stopping her drinking water, stopped her sleeping, possibly drugging her, threatened her with hurting and kniving her family, hurting her neighbours. I'm going to call a cat a cat: Heroin junkies are pure evil! Why don't we as a society have more of a duty of care towards victims of coercive control (including battered wives). Perhaps we should step in more and not let the victim call the shots, because behind her is the coercive controller!!?! She is just the puppet on a string, any ounce of "free will" she had went long ago! The argument is that "we can't take away her freedom, her will, her sense of empowerment/agency" ... but she has none of that!! It's already all been taken away by the coercive controller. Why doesn't anyone get that? Is everyone is denial or worse collusion, about what's really going on here? Why don't we as a society have more of a duty of care towards victimes of coercive control (including battered wives). Why don't we find a way of breaking through the victim's (and society's?) protection of her perpetrator? He's getting away with murder, he knows as long as he has the power and control, she is putty in his hands. As long as he can frighten, blackmail, intimidate and traumatise her into not exposing him, as long as we protect the controller and not the victim, he will continue to get away with it. How many more women/children are going to die at the hands of their controller? How many more innocent young girls sex-trafficked out because otherwise their pimps will hurt/kill their family? The victim is held over a barrel. We really do have a duty of care to them. One change that has taken place is not accepting battered wives withdrawing their initial police report. Bravo, but we need to do a hell of a lot more, that's just the tip of the iceberg. With every victim, there is also a huge ripple effect. Children, family, parents, friends, all traumatised and helpless/powerless too at not being able to do anything for their loved one, next generations traumatised, and on it goes. Until we turn this power and control shift around. And stop letting evil reign.
It’s called narcissism. The seek constant validation and control.
She is so full of shit here eyes are brown.
Really!? OMG! REALITY CHECK PLEASE!
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