Causes of anxiety: "Doing anything" Relatable haha
@vazzaroth8 күн бұрын
Every time I hear about the UK and Europe in general as an American it blows my mind how the state takes interest in your upbringing at ALL. Unless you've about to die and then the CPS-cops show up, US gives zero fuks. I saw the Dr.... 3 times between year 1 and 18? No one comes to your house, that's for sure. Every time I would be at a family party, similar to what you did but just with family (hooray rural farm life...) my face would hurt from the perma-smile that would be plastered on me. I hate that now, I avoid my family at all costs b/c it just hurts my face so much and my brain is lightly on fire the entire time and I don't really enjoy any level of socializing in a group environment like that. Plus everyone in my family is really histrionic and trying to get group attention constantly so it's just pure chaos and no one takes any interest in what you actually say so it's like getting stuck into competitive small talk for like 4 hours. holy shit I'm so glad I moved away w/ my wife but man I absolutely DREAD going back for any holiday...
@bay00028 күн бұрын
That was very helpful thank-you, though figuring out your tism yourself (or by parents/friends) is the only realistic way. Most adults don’t know the DSM, autism presents very differently across people, gender etc, and teachers may have thought it but none would dare comment, it’s not their area of competence. It’s just so easy to go under the radar
@strictnonconformist7369Ай бұрын
It’s fascinating to me how many people you’ll find online bragging about how the universal healthcare provided by places such as the UK is superior, great, and so on, compared to the US. And then I learn about how such things like evaluations for ADHD, autism have waiting times measured in years, quite often: not that they impact your ability to live while waiting, right? If the socialized medical system was all that and a bag of chips, private practices wouldn’t exist in the same areas, but they do, because they’re suboptimal, just perhaps a different form of broken compared to the issues we have to deal with in the US. And to learn you’re literally tied to particular local doctors and medical systems while on those multiple year waits lest you find yourself kicked back to the bottom of waitlists, what absurdity! If the wait times weren’t measured in more than a couple months worst-case, it’d be largely a minor issue not worth worrying about. Perhaps if you’re not disabled somehow, it’s largely fine, if you have typical yearly care everyone gets because they’re just “normal” instead of the more expensive things. Everything has a price, it’s all a matter of the form of currency.
@strictnonconformist7369Ай бұрын
Last year as a result of a combination of work stresses and problems and having failed to take a copy of my original (unexpected) autism diagnosis from 2002 after I moved across the US and they destroyed that record after 7 years, it was via a private practice, and ADHD and autism (and I think, other things, not sure) were being assessed at the same time starting with a relatively small set of questions on a paper questionnaire, as well as interviews. The first 5 questions were scales for clearly ADHD things, and I maxed those out. The 6th question asked about intrusive thoughts, I got bogged down asking the psych NP was meant by that, since… well, I don’t want to have inaccuracies due to misunderstandings. She looked at the first 5 questions, saw they were maxed, and as I’d stated before answering them, “I have a mind without an off switch” she told me answering the rest of the questions would be redundant. Interestingly, those first 5 questions were in a grey section making them stand out from all the others. She informed me that was enough, given my statement. And while things haven’t gone as desired for finding a workable treatment plan due to blood pressure issues and an anomalous response to guanfacine, it’s very clear that combined-type is correct. The rest of the two sessions were an interview, and the third that should have happened regarding my issues, didn’t, because she unexpectedly had to resign 2 weeks after starting. Oh, and I got the autism assessment (not maximally formal for Washington state requirements for certain things) scheduled with a less than 24 hour wait, which was a funky result when all is considered.
@CaptainBlood-ge9zwАй бұрын
I had been fobbed off so many times by mental health services, invalidated and minimised - and then it turned out I was struggling with ADHD all this time. Half of me is looking back at life, seeing what makes sense now… But the other halt is looking back at my encounters with mental health services wondering how they didn’t pick up on it. Worst experience was being told: ‘I have no idea what this is - I’ve never heard anything like it!’ when speaking to a practitioner while I was in crisis.
@jaearnell2 ай бұрын
This is my nightmare about seeking out a formal diagnosis. I'm certainly not cis, or a dude and I don't have parents that I am close to or who understand me well. I'm worried I'll end up with an assessor like the one who did yours. He sounds HORRIBLE. I'm so sorry the process was belittling and you had to fight so hard for advocating for yourself.
@JMCD182 ай бұрын
Thankyou so much for this video. I have just returned my PIP application form & have been wondering what to expect!
@sweeet_banana2 ай бұрын
Hi Ella, would you recommend the book for adults? I'm 25 😊
@jakerobinson2442 ай бұрын
Can I claim this for being autistic and working full time ?
@TheCloverAffiliate123 ай бұрын
The school routine bit! I literally journaled about this two years before I was even made aware of what autism is actually-and I brought it up three years later in my autism evaluation! When I graduated from college, it took me ~5 years to realize that my chosen work schedule was leftovers from my college schedule! I could comment a ton more on this, but I definitely agree that this is not talked about enough! (Sorry for all the exclamation marks-I'm very enthusiastic about this 😅)
@thenewautist3 ай бұрын
Hard to pick. Impeccable (impiccable?) taste! If pressed, orange slacks. My favourite colour.
@thenewautist3 ай бұрын
Hehe. Pressed.
@machinedred4 ай бұрын
That was a fantastic explanation. I was injured in a crash crash over 20 years ago and never knew I could claim for anything 😔
@odeanlawrence1965 ай бұрын
Love the suit! Beautiful colours!
@theo._15225 ай бұрын
Would you please give us updates? I am considering getting medication for my adhd but with my autism i am afraid and would love to hear more of your experience foing forward!
@lauraburystedmundsyoga82315 ай бұрын
My husband has just had a consult on ADHD meds, so it's good to see what we'll be going through soon!! LOL - not looking forward to telling him he's got to come off caffeine 😱
@pastelpisces5 ай бұрын
Ella, I’m so happy to see another vlog! I appreciate that you’ve documented your experience with adhd meds - I will hopefully be starting mine soon after being recently diagnosed. Have a great day! ❤
@tyreesetjjoyner19955 ай бұрын
❤❤❤❤❤
@ZoeyLauren5 ай бұрын
As someone also just starting ADHD meds and going through a similar time, it's super valuable to hear your experience with things. A lot of this is very relatable. I hope things go well in week 2!
@pt40055 ай бұрын
The issue is everyone has a form of depression and. Anxiety and working within mental health for nhs do not think it should be included in PiP
@m.o.r.t6 ай бұрын
thanks for being the only video i could find on this topic, this helped me a lot 💝 do any of these products make your skin feel sticky? when I use serums I feel my face gets sticky and I cant stand it
@peanut_toast9997 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂 how did you get in my head?? Love your videos
@Zarathustran8 ай бұрын
It's amazing how many autistic people have unsupportive family dynamics yet over a dozen years (and counting) after the sequencing of the genome people are still trying to pretend it's "genetic". Also not a coincidence that autism is extreme anxious attachment end child abuse creates anxiety. Autistic suicidality is the culmination of the Munchausen impulse for the child to become "unborn". The parents who are all about "treatment" are poaching martyrdom from the disability their neglect inflicted to get recognition for themselves. I'm 53, figured out my autism last year, was diagnosed asperger between the ages of 9 and 11. Disturbed primary attachment figures use (shiting all over) a scapegoat child to regulate their own emotions. Entire disturbed families can do the same. Propping up their weak phony public egos at the expense of the always-betrayed scapegoat (whose autistic gullibility has been groomed by parental trickery / mockery / toying). It's in the direct interest of a parent who destroys anything for which they cannot take credit behind your back while never giving attaboys for whatever you don't realize they're using you for to infantilizingly gaslight you into a naive misperception of the world. The resulting self-defeating pseudomorality that never stops giving others the benefit of doubt they never give us is no accident. It's not unconscious. They know what they're doing even if they're too fucking stupid to understand why
@pastelpisces8 ай бұрын
Hi Ella! I'm happy to see another vlog! I'm not sure what your content plans are for the future but I was curious if you would be willing to create a video talking about signs of autism in your infancy/toddler years. I have not seen other autistic creators do this and I am very interested! :)
@tyreesetjjoyner19958 ай бұрын
Your hair looks good
@jen25308 ай бұрын
I can understand why your assessor said that you were autistic but didn’t know whether to diagnose. It wasn’t him being difficult or not wanting to. My brother was diagnosed as a child with ASD as an adult he was reassessed and the assessor said whilst he clearly did still have autism he no longer met the criteria for diagnosis. To meet the criteria you have to of shown that autism has / is significantly impacting your life in many areas
@ellaellaw8 ай бұрын
it does impact my life in many areas. I literally struggle all of the time. The assessor did not say this to be "kind", it was a product of his absolute ignorance that he had shown through my diagnosis process. He believed that everyone was on the spectrum which is ridiculous for a professional. Not giving me a diagnosis for something I very much am would have stopped me from access the support and benefits I have since accessed with my diagnosis
@RetrodudeG8 ай бұрын
To honest i am thinking about suing DWP, that me gave 0 points when i have sooo many health problems! They didn’t bother to look at my evidence, i am furious!
@brainchildren71408 ай бұрын
My autism was also blatantly obvious and my mom actually noticed and told my pediatrician about it, but he insisted my mom was overreacting and she believed him, so I never got tested. Everyone in the family joked about how I clearly had OCD as a toddler, but I didn’t get a diagnosis for that until I was 14, and even then, no one ever really fully explained it to me or properly helped me deal with it. It wasn’t until I was in my 20s, after trying to treat my depression and anxiety for years but having no luck with therapy or medication, that I realized how odd my lack of understanding of my OCD diagnosis was and decided to start opening up more about it. When I started explaining my lifelong OCD in depth, a therapist finally asked me if I was ever tested for autism. She also mentioned I seem to have traits of ADHD. At the same time, I was diagnosed with epilepsy by a neurologist. Finally everything started to click together. It wasn’t that I was just an anxious person, I had a neurological disorder. It was a long process but I was eventually diagnosed with ASD at 28 y/o. The whole experience felt really bizarre and it’s comforting to listen to other late diagnosed autistics tell their similar stories. So thank you for sharing!
@scrapshappen8 ай бұрын
I'm 60 & just connected the dots. But I was reading (according to Mom) before kindergarten, 'tantrums' (actually meltdowns), socially awkward, special interests (to the max). TBH I am reevaluating my entire history.
@coralieofjumpwithnofear8 ай бұрын
Your story makes me equal parts happy and sad: - happy for my younger one, that she’s home educated and doesn’t have to go through the awfulness of being autistic at school - sad for my now 20-year-old who is still suffering from the trauma of being constantly bullied at school because of being autistic, and I didn’t have the power to stop it.
@andrewkennan28979 ай бұрын
It’s a very corrupt system and the process is terrible, I applied 18 months ago and was refused even the tribunal was refused so made complaint about the process and I am maybe getting a upper appeal but the pip process used medical information what I was like 18months ago and not the updated medical information and other medical issues they were sent after, they made me out to be a liar and ignore medical facts, even the medical facts 18months ago I was really bad but now and the past yr I am grounded, I suffer with long term Panic Disorder and a recent diagnosis of FND 😢
@greeniegames8359 ай бұрын
I suspect I am autistic and a sibling of mine has been unofficially diagnosed with autism. I am currently 19 and live in the US. For much of my middle thru high school I had an aversion when it came to any social events. I didn’t like them because I felt like an alien. I didn’t know how to interact with people and I just felt incompetent. I used to constantly suck in my stomach due to self esteem issues regarding my weight. On top of this I would come home absolutely exhausted from forcing a smile all day. I could not relax when I was in any sort of social setting and I still struggle with this to an extent. Looking back now, I realize I was masking heavily every day. I was depressed and had horrible self esteem and overall health. The day I looked into autism, I had this realization that my social struggles were not going to get better as I hoped they would my whole life. I cried that night, partially because there was finally an explanation but also from sadness and despair. I really wish that my parents would have tried to get me help instead of altogether dismissing the idea I might be experiencing the world differently from everyone else. What I’ve written here isn’t all the signs by a long shot. But as said in the video, that list could go on forever…
@tracirex22 күн бұрын
yes, living undiagnosed is exhausting. I did it for 50+ years.
@bluebottle4659 ай бұрын
15:00 is very relatable
@BilliesCraftRoom9 ай бұрын
So relatable. Spend my life having Hagrid moment's. I should not have said that,I should not have said that.
@MrsSazJ9 ай бұрын
Hey Ella, thanks for another interesting video :) I'm wondering if you would mind sharing which service/therapist you are accessing therapy through currently? I'm autistic, also suffering from OCD and live in Newcastle too. I'm seeking private treatment now for my OCD because I'm on a 2.5+ year waiting list for NHS therapy (!) I really would like to find a service/therapist who can accommodate my autism in treatment, as this hasn't been possible via the NHS thus far. I actually saw you several months back in the Metro Centre and came up to you with my husband to thank you for your videos :)
@ellaellaw8 ай бұрын
Jesmond therapy centre. It's a little place in Jesmond that private therapists use for rooms to meet with clients. They have over 50 therapists. I'm nit sure if they have anyone who specialises in ND people though
@MrsSazJ8 ай бұрын
Thank you :) I also realised that it might have caused anxiety for me to come up and say hi, I'm really sorry if it did.
@Chronicaleenie9 ай бұрын
I try my best to pack and I either under pack or massively over pack but it’s a bad thing because I have joint issues as well so heavy things are an issue especially travelling alone!
@Chronicaleenie9 ай бұрын
I find when washing my face I hate it when water goes down my wrists/forearms but I found these wristbands that catch the water and I’ve been able to stick to a routine so much better! You can get cute bunny ones and they’re adorable!
@mamoelgome8 ай бұрын
I do it in the shower!!! (Only wash it once a day anyway)
@Chronicaleenie9 ай бұрын
Omg watching you at pride makes me want to go so bad! I was poorly when it was Birmingham pride but I’m defo planning to go next year for sure! I’m bisexual but not a lot of people are aware of it but being in a safe place I think will defo help. Loving your outfits in this blog and I’m binging all the vlogs now!
@Chronicaleenie9 ай бұрын
Hi Ella do you have the link for the LED? It looks so cool! ❤
@m1k4d09 ай бұрын
That makes me so angry and afraid for my own progress. 😢 So sorry for you that it was so stressfull for you and the people there treated you so badly... Big virtual hug!
@evabatten120110 ай бұрын
When I went to the natural history museum I somehow managed to get out of the dinosaur area backwards because it was just too loud and busy for me to enjoy it
@rileycollison294710 ай бұрын
I have been to the natural history museum before and have also found it so confusing trying to navigate (Im autistic as well). I just got really overwhelmed as I was so confused abut where to go.
@SweetHallie_1910 ай бұрын
Wow I got angry for you watching that. I’ve got an NHS assessment but it has kinda got me worried slightly. Especially because they told you we don’t do aftercare. I’m nearly 40 and I only found out that I have autism 3 years ago.
@theo._152210 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for speaking up
@penn926610 ай бұрын
i really felt that wiggly line
@theo._152210 ай бұрын
This was hard to watch, not in the way that it wasn't helpful, because it was, but in the way that I realise how hard it can be and I'm so sacred to start this.
@pastelpisces11 ай бұрын
hi ella, i just recently discovered your channel and your energy, style and personality is just so fascinating. watching your videos about your autism and adhd diagnoses has been very reassuring for me and makes me feel less alone as i am hoping to be assessed for both through a psychological-educational assessment. i can’t wait to see more of your videos!
@elixaaaaa11 ай бұрын
scrapbooking seems so fun, thank you for showing us ✨
Пікірлер
Causes of anxiety: "Doing anything" Relatable haha
Every time I hear about the UK and Europe in general as an American it blows my mind how the state takes interest in your upbringing at ALL. Unless you've about to die and then the CPS-cops show up, US gives zero fuks. I saw the Dr.... 3 times between year 1 and 18? No one comes to your house, that's for sure. Every time I would be at a family party, similar to what you did but just with family (hooray rural farm life...) my face would hurt from the perma-smile that would be plastered on me. I hate that now, I avoid my family at all costs b/c it just hurts my face so much and my brain is lightly on fire the entire time and I don't really enjoy any level of socializing in a group environment like that. Plus everyone in my family is really histrionic and trying to get group attention constantly so it's just pure chaos and no one takes any interest in what you actually say so it's like getting stuck into competitive small talk for like 4 hours. holy shit I'm so glad I moved away w/ my wife but man I absolutely DREAD going back for any holiday...
That was very helpful thank-you, though figuring out your tism yourself (or by parents/friends) is the only realistic way. Most adults don’t know the DSM, autism presents very differently across people, gender etc, and teachers may have thought it but none would dare comment, it’s not their area of competence. It’s just so easy to go under the radar
It’s fascinating to me how many people you’ll find online bragging about how the universal healthcare provided by places such as the UK is superior, great, and so on, compared to the US. And then I learn about how such things like evaluations for ADHD, autism have waiting times measured in years, quite often: not that they impact your ability to live while waiting, right? If the socialized medical system was all that and a bag of chips, private practices wouldn’t exist in the same areas, but they do, because they’re suboptimal, just perhaps a different form of broken compared to the issues we have to deal with in the US. And to learn you’re literally tied to particular local doctors and medical systems while on those multiple year waits lest you find yourself kicked back to the bottom of waitlists, what absurdity! If the wait times weren’t measured in more than a couple months worst-case, it’d be largely a minor issue not worth worrying about. Perhaps if you’re not disabled somehow, it’s largely fine, if you have typical yearly care everyone gets because they’re just “normal” instead of the more expensive things. Everything has a price, it’s all a matter of the form of currency.
Last year as a result of a combination of work stresses and problems and having failed to take a copy of my original (unexpected) autism diagnosis from 2002 after I moved across the US and they destroyed that record after 7 years, it was via a private practice, and ADHD and autism (and I think, other things, not sure) were being assessed at the same time starting with a relatively small set of questions on a paper questionnaire, as well as interviews. The first 5 questions were scales for clearly ADHD things, and I maxed those out. The 6th question asked about intrusive thoughts, I got bogged down asking the psych NP was meant by that, since… well, I don’t want to have inaccuracies due to misunderstandings. She looked at the first 5 questions, saw they were maxed, and as I’d stated before answering them, “I have a mind without an off switch” she told me answering the rest of the questions would be redundant. Interestingly, those first 5 questions were in a grey section making them stand out from all the others. She informed me that was enough, given my statement. And while things haven’t gone as desired for finding a workable treatment plan due to blood pressure issues and an anomalous response to guanfacine, it’s very clear that combined-type is correct. The rest of the two sessions were an interview, and the third that should have happened regarding my issues, didn’t, because she unexpectedly had to resign 2 weeks after starting. Oh, and I got the autism assessment (not maximally formal for Washington state requirements for certain things) scheduled with a less than 24 hour wait, which was a funky result when all is considered.
I had been fobbed off so many times by mental health services, invalidated and minimised - and then it turned out I was struggling with ADHD all this time. Half of me is looking back at life, seeing what makes sense now… But the other halt is looking back at my encounters with mental health services wondering how they didn’t pick up on it. Worst experience was being told: ‘I have no idea what this is - I’ve never heard anything like it!’ when speaking to a practitioner while I was in crisis.
This is my nightmare about seeking out a formal diagnosis. I'm certainly not cis, or a dude and I don't have parents that I am close to or who understand me well. I'm worried I'll end up with an assessor like the one who did yours. He sounds HORRIBLE. I'm so sorry the process was belittling and you had to fight so hard for advocating for yourself.
Thankyou so much for this video. I have just returned my PIP application form & have been wondering what to expect!
Hi Ella, would you recommend the book for adults? I'm 25 😊
Can I claim this for being autistic and working full time ?
The school routine bit! I literally journaled about this two years before I was even made aware of what autism is actually-and I brought it up three years later in my autism evaluation! When I graduated from college, it took me ~5 years to realize that my chosen work schedule was leftovers from my college schedule! I could comment a ton more on this, but I definitely agree that this is not talked about enough! (Sorry for all the exclamation marks-I'm very enthusiastic about this 😅)
Hard to pick. Impeccable (impiccable?) taste! If pressed, orange slacks. My favourite colour.
Hehe. Pressed.
That was a fantastic explanation. I was injured in a crash crash over 20 years ago and never knew I could claim for anything 😔
Love the suit! Beautiful colours!
Would you please give us updates? I am considering getting medication for my adhd but with my autism i am afraid and would love to hear more of your experience foing forward!
My husband has just had a consult on ADHD meds, so it's good to see what we'll be going through soon!! LOL - not looking forward to telling him he's got to come off caffeine 😱
Ella, I’m so happy to see another vlog! I appreciate that you’ve documented your experience with adhd meds - I will hopefully be starting mine soon after being recently diagnosed. Have a great day! ❤
❤❤❤❤❤
As someone also just starting ADHD meds and going through a similar time, it's super valuable to hear your experience with things. A lot of this is very relatable. I hope things go well in week 2!
The issue is everyone has a form of depression and. Anxiety and working within mental health for nhs do not think it should be included in PiP
thanks for being the only video i could find on this topic, this helped me a lot 💝 do any of these products make your skin feel sticky? when I use serums I feel my face gets sticky and I cant stand it
😂😂😂😂😂 how did you get in my head?? Love your videos
It's amazing how many autistic people have unsupportive family dynamics yet over a dozen years (and counting) after the sequencing of the genome people are still trying to pretend it's "genetic". Also not a coincidence that autism is extreme anxious attachment end child abuse creates anxiety. Autistic suicidality is the culmination of the Munchausen impulse for the child to become "unborn". The parents who are all about "treatment" are poaching martyrdom from the disability their neglect inflicted to get recognition for themselves. I'm 53, figured out my autism last year, was diagnosed asperger between the ages of 9 and 11. Disturbed primary attachment figures use (shiting all over) a scapegoat child to regulate their own emotions. Entire disturbed families can do the same. Propping up their weak phony public egos at the expense of the always-betrayed scapegoat (whose autistic gullibility has been groomed by parental trickery / mockery / toying). It's in the direct interest of a parent who destroys anything for which they cannot take credit behind your back while never giving attaboys for whatever you don't realize they're using you for to infantilizingly gaslight you into a naive misperception of the world. The resulting self-defeating pseudomorality that never stops giving others the benefit of doubt they never give us is no accident. It's not unconscious. They know what they're doing even if they're too fucking stupid to understand why
Hi Ella! I'm happy to see another vlog! I'm not sure what your content plans are for the future but I was curious if you would be willing to create a video talking about signs of autism in your infancy/toddler years. I have not seen other autistic creators do this and I am very interested! :)
Your hair looks good
I can understand why your assessor said that you were autistic but didn’t know whether to diagnose. It wasn’t him being difficult or not wanting to. My brother was diagnosed as a child with ASD as an adult he was reassessed and the assessor said whilst he clearly did still have autism he no longer met the criteria for diagnosis. To meet the criteria you have to of shown that autism has / is significantly impacting your life in many areas
it does impact my life in many areas. I literally struggle all of the time. The assessor did not say this to be "kind", it was a product of his absolute ignorance that he had shown through my diagnosis process. He believed that everyone was on the spectrum which is ridiculous for a professional. Not giving me a diagnosis for something I very much am would have stopped me from access the support and benefits I have since accessed with my diagnosis
To honest i am thinking about suing DWP, that me gave 0 points when i have sooo many health problems! They didn’t bother to look at my evidence, i am furious!
My autism was also blatantly obvious and my mom actually noticed and told my pediatrician about it, but he insisted my mom was overreacting and she believed him, so I never got tested. Everyone in the family joked about how I clearly had OCD as a toddler, but I didn’t get a diagnosis for that until I was 14, and even then, no one ever really fully explained it to me or properly helped me deal with it. It wasn’t until I was in my 20s, after trying to treat my depression and anxiety for years but having no luck with therapy or medication, that I realized how odd my lack of understanding of my OCD diagnosis was and decided to start opening up more about it. When I started explaining my lifelong OCD in depth, a therapist finally asked me if I was ever tested for autism. She also mentioned I seem to have traits of ADHD. At the same time, I was diagnosed with epilepsy by a neurologist. Finally everything started to click together. It wasn’t that I was just an anxious person, I had a neurological disorder. It was a long process but I was eventually diagnosed with ASD at 28 y/o. The whole experience felt really bizarre and it’s comforting to listen to other late diagnosed autistics tell their similar stories. So thank you for sharing!
I'm 60 & just connected the dots. But I was reading (according to Mom) before kindergarten, 'tantrums' (actually meltdowns), socially awkward, special interests (to the max). TBH I am reevaluating my entire history.
Your story makes me equal parts happy and sad: - happy for my younger one, that she’s home educated and doesn’t have to go through the awfulness of being autistic at school - sad for my now 20-year-old who is still suffering from the trauma of being constantly bullied at school because of being autistic, and I didn’t have the power to stop it.
It’s a very corrupt system and the process is terrible, I applied 18 months ago and was refused even the tribunal was refused so made complaint about the process and I am maybe getting a upper appeal but the pip process used medical information what I was like 18months ago and not the updated medical information and other medical issues they were sent after, they made me out to be a liar and ignore medical facts, even the medical facts 18months ago I was really bad but now and the past yr I am grounded, I suffer with long term Panic Disorder and a recent diagnosis of FND 😢
I suspect I am autistic and a sibling of mine has been unofficially diagnosed with autism. I am currently 19 and live in the US. For much of my middle thru high school I had an aversion when it came to any social events. I didn’t like them because I felt like an alien. I didn’t know how to interact with people and I just felt incompetent. I used to constantly suck in my stomach due to self esteem issues regarding my weight. On top of this I would come home absolutely exhausted from forcing a smile all day. I could not relax when I was in any sort of social setting and I still struggle with this to an extent. Looking back now, I realize I was masking heavily every day. I was depressed and had horrible self esteem and overall health. The day I looked into autism, I had this realization that my social struggles were not going to get better as I hoped they would my whole life. I cried that night, partially because there was finally an explanation but also from sadness and despair. I really wish that my parents would have tried to get me help instead of altogether dismissing the idea I might be experiencing the world differently from everyone else. What I’ve written here isn’t all the signs by a long shot. But as said in the video, that list could go on forever…
yes, living undiagnosed is exhausting. I did it for 50+ years.
15:00 is very relatable
So relatable. Spend my life having Hagrid moment's. I should not have said that,I should not have said that.
Hey Ella, thanks for another interesting video :) I'm wondering if you would mind sharing which service/therapist you are accessing therapy through currently? I'm autistic, also suffering from OCD and live in Newcastle too. I'm seeking private treatment now for my OCD because I'm on a 2.5+ year waiting list for NHS therapy (!) I really would like to find a service/therapist who can accommodate my autism in treatment, as this hasn't been possible via the NHS thus far. I actually saw you several months back in the Metro Centre and came up to you with my husband to thank you for your videos :)
Jesmond therapy centre. It's a little place in Jesmond that private therapists use for rooms to meet with clients. They have over 50 therapists. I'm nit sure if they have anyone who specialises in ND people though
Thank you :) I also realised that it might have caused anxiety for me to come up and say hi, I'm really sorry if it did.
I try my best to pack and I either under pack or massively over pack but it’s a bad thing because I have joint issues as well so heavy things are an issue especially travelling alone!
I find when washing my face I hate it when water goes down my wrists/forearms but I found these wristbands that catch the water and I’ve been able to stick to a routine so much better! You can get cute bunny ones and they’re adorable!
I do it in the shower!!! (Only wash it once a day anyway)
Omg watching you at pride makes me want to go so bad! I was poorly when it was Birmingham pride but I’m defo planning to go next year for sure! I’m bisexual but not a lot of people are aware of it but being in a safe place I think will defo help. Loving your outfits in this blog and I’m binging all the vlogs now!
Hi Ella do you have the link for the LED? It looks so cool! ❤
That makes me so angry and afraid for my own progress. 😢 So sorry for you that it was so stressfull for you and the people there treated you so badly... Big virtual hug!
When I went to the natural history museum I somehow managed to get out of the dinosaur area backwards because it was just too loud and busy for me to enjoy it
I have been to the natural history museum before and have also found it so confusing trying to navigate (Im autistic as well). I just got really overwhelmed as I was so confused abut where to go.
Wow I got angry for you watching that. I’ve got an NHS assessment but it has kinda got me worried slightly. Especially because they told you we don’t do aftercare. I’m nearly 40 and I only found out that I have autism 3 years ago.
Thank you so much for speaking up
i really felt that wiggly line
This was hard to watch, not in the way that it wasn't helpful, because it was, but in the way that I realise how hard it can be and I'm so sacred to start this.
hi ella, i just recently discovered your channel and your energy, style and personality is just so fascinating. watching your videos about your autism and adhd diagnoses has been very reassuring for me and makes me feel less alone as i am hoping to be assessed for both through a psychological-educational assessment. i can’t wait to see more of your videos!
scrapbooking seems so fun, thank you for showing us ✨
Have fun in Portugal!!
love your vlogs & enjoy your time in portugal!🦋💫