At Unlocking ADHD, our mission is to Empower ADHDers and their Families to Live Life to the Fullest.
We provide practical information and resources so that those with ADHD are well equipped with strategies to identify their strengths and unlock their full potential. We want to bring hope to the ADHD community and create a safe and supportive space for ADHDers to thrive.
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Hello from Italy! OMG you make me smile and cry! Finally someone that has my point of view!🦄🌈😘 (there are not many)
Should i get diagnosed? Seemed to have the traits, but is it important to get diagnosed? Where is the community? I'm a believer... I'm 55 this year, only got to realise maybe i have adhd. could have done better, alqays do better with ladt minute deadline, procastinate on things that i cant find any pleasure in doing. Always think that with my intelligence i could do accomplish anything ad long i want it. But now, i realised, i am nothing without Him.
@Moonlake: love to attend , but on budget. Can only sign up by early May. Will there be slots…
I would like to know more about adhd related to young couple and how it can affect the confidence
Re the first example you share at the 32:00 mark. I find it really strange that you advocate it’s a “great idea” for the wife to leave her laundry in the dryer…so long as she leaves a basket nearby for her husband to remove the clothing if he needs to use the dryer. It would make sense that the wife should remove her own laundry (instead of leaving it as a task for the husband to do). That doesn’t sound like helping her or him. Rather, it’s still in the pattern of leaving things as a child would do for the non-ADHD spouse (parent) to do and still adding to their plate. Why not create some awareness for the ADHD spouse to have them realize that you must finish the task? You start by placing it to wash, dry, then put away. Task started, task finished. If that same guidance (to leave her clothing in the dryer) is suggested, what happens when the ADHD partner goes to work and leaves their dirty mug in the sink? They should let the next person at their job finish their task of washing it and putting it away? Doesn’t appear to teaching that the ADHD spouse needs a level of consideration about their actions/behavior, and that you start tasks to finish them.
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When he brought up all the useless information, I was like, Thats my entire life. Ive always been full of useless information. People I know will come ask me ramdom thing's they want to know or figure out , because they figure I know it.
Moonlake I am so grateful to discover this on KZread. I was worried I would not be able to watch since I missed the event and the recording and link was not mentioned about the posts of the event.
thank you @queenhellfire1 - glad that you found this link and hope it was helpful!!
Im crying now!!! Im 51 yr and in RT school, I study stuff thats not on exams by accident because I get so memorized about respiratory and think of ways to invent things or think of ways to help the pt more by thinking outside of the relam of what Im being taught, and then I dont do well on the exams, and of course people think Im dumb! I procrastinate until the exam is coming up because I tell myself I cant pass anyway, because I forget everything I read because the concept is not in my hands! Some of us learn hands on by repetition and being told HOW and WHY! Thank for this video!! Praying for Gods blessings and Favor over your precious life in Jesus name!!
Presentation 00:00 - Intro 3:10 - Dr Dan Shapiro (Introduction) 6:17 - What is ADHD? 11:46 - Why should we treat ADHD? 13:45 - How to do a medication trial 17:16 - Choosing a medication 19:06 - How to talk with your child about ADHD meds 22:27 - Dr Adrian Loh (Introduction) Q&A 26:54 - Are ADHD medications addictive? 30:50 - Will medication affect personality? 35:11 - What age should I start medication, will it stunt growth in children? 39:30 - For late diagnosis, do I need medication? 41:45 - Does ADHD medication work differently for females? 44:11 - How do we know if symptoms are due to ADHD, Anxiety or Depression? 46:42 - Is mood dysregulation part of ADHD? 52:03 - How to you manage ADHD and Autism together? 54:02 - What do you recommend if you are unable to take medication? 1:00:29 - What one thing should you know about ADHD Medication?
I was just diagnosed with ADHD. Years ago my husband was diagnosed OCD/OCPD. 30+ years in and I’m so tired of the struggle of trying to understand each other and make it work 😢
Even though what I'm replying right now is off topic to the video up on top, I hope you'll bear with me and reply back soon. I am someone who has a mental illness (I'm not quick to change, unwilling to, forgetful and less alertive) how can I repent for my sins other than praying and studying the bible (especially since I've kept repeating the same ones over and over again)?
I really appreciate this info. I’m feeling kinda defeated bc he’s been diagnosed before meeting me (10+ years) while I didn’t have the knowledge to say “hey babe I think this is an adhd symptom” I did suggest what Orlov said about the 3 legs that need to be optimized. Like literally said some of her suggestions. (This is due to my experience with DBT. ) And so I’m left feeling like he ought to be able to identify these things better than me! And he doesn’t. Okay so I suggest something that considers the adhd very literally and I get push back….like wtffff
sorry to hear about the response you had. it takes two to work at things. Melissa mentions that the individual with ADHD needs to take ownership of the condition and manage it. without this aspect, it is rather challenging for the non-ADHD spouse to manage on their own.
My marriage is exhausting and I feel so hopeless. Too broke for a divorce and we have 6 young children I don't know how I'd provide for. Just venting. Guess i need tips on how to be happy in a relationship where communication is impossible and leaving is not a viable option.
Wow I'm sos sorry to hear that You can't ask on how be happy in a relationship that make you miserable you are very patient but look after your mental health Have you tried couples therapy? ❤❤
@@noneofyourbuizness things are better. After binge watching season 1 of "Arranged," it made me realize that all couples struggle and helped me normalize the struggles in my relationship. I wish we could do couples therapy! Maybe someday! Time and money are issues right now. My spouse does try hard to show he cares when he can so I just need a whole lot of patience and acceptance.
Right with you my best advice is to focus on yourself. Act as if you are single,I don’t mean go out and cheat, a single person mindset. The only way to cope.
@@PiedPiper38 It's been so helpful to learn to have a more independent mindset, lower my expectations for life in general, and just be okay with my best, while accepting his best. Still hard sometimes, but I'm at peace. Thanks for your comment!
@@noneofyourbuizness have to add that turns out he'd been unable to fill his prescription for weeks and was likely going through withdrawal. Things got so much better when he leveled out. I had no idea 😔
Thank you for your encouragement
It finally clicks for me. I cannot wait to see the light at the end of this tunnel. Thank you for sharing. I am literally in tears
thank you - we are happy to know that this resonated with you
I feel simultaneously some peace and relief from all of this information, while feeling regret and sadness that I couldn’t have somehow figured all this out with my ADHD partner before the break up. It’s been a year and I still am grieving and really depressed. I loved her and still love her dearly, but became so frustrated and hopeless that I would emotionally abuse her. I will always have deep shame about it. I do appreciate this content and I’m very grateful.
Thank you for sharing and we are glad you found the video helpful. Hope things work out for you 🙏🏻
ABSOLUTE AMAZING!!!!! Thank you!!!
you are welcome!
People with ADHD, NPD and BPD are heartless monsters these people are broken/defective and a waste of time do not have children with these people
Thank you. That is all I can say 😭
you are welcome, @nicholashanges
This is beautiful crying because wow, ADHD doesn't have to hinder us from living life. Its tough, often I have to remember God loves me, still even with a diagnoses it interferes with life, relationships. Autism to I have. Often I find myself, apologising, not feeling good enough, not able to learn from mistakes as quickly. Messaging people randomly without thinking, then consequences after. Easily rejected, feeling bad more so as a Christian. 😢but I believe I sense Jesus very near, in that brokenness he is close. IAM in a church that believes not everything is demonic, but this can be healed, autism can be healed. What if it's part of me? I question I have had a bit of a faith dilemma. 😊thankyou for this channel gives alot of hope to us. Anyone struggling I hear you I pray you find peace 🕊️ amen 🙏
acceptance of oneself is an important component in the path to healing. we are all works in progress and life is part of the journey of refinement.
If she has her own KZread channel. I will be her follower immediately
thank you for your encouragement, @babybaby5893 :)
What do you do for your daughter?
Do you have any videos on when both partners married have adhd for my husband and I have adhd? 😊
not yet - but we will keep this in mind!
👊 P r o m o S M
My husband has ADHD and I’m autistic. It is so hard to make the relationship work. He neglects every aspect of our relationship and environment (house, pets, family, etc) but never misses his appointments to play D&D. It took me 3 years to realise and verbalise that this is happening, and I’m already worn out. I have so many struggles on my own and since we got married he’s just adding more stress in my life to the point I’m not performing good at work anymore. I wish so bad I could rely on my husband. My life has been so difficult all the time, he has a very privileged background but not me. I had to really pull my way through life with poverty and no family. I don’t have a support system, his family couldn’t care less if this is working or not, if I’m drowning or not. He doesn’t do anything to make this better. I still care about him but I care about myself more. I think the next step for us is divorce.
I feel for you having been married 29 years to a spouse with ADHD. It is exhausting, emotionally destructive (the anger outbursts due to emotional dysregulation or emotional neglect), and makes relationships unsustainable for many. Then add the common comorbidities of anxiety, depression, and learning disabilities, along with the fact that we likely have different personality temperaments (opposites do attract)...It sets the stage for a lot of heartache for spouses.
Is it ADHD? Or just plain narcissistic behavior 😢
@@WT72-493hycd Interesting you mention this. My h also has NPD traits. I have wondered if those with ADHD learn gaslighting techniques as a way to protect their own psyches since they no doubt receive tons of emotional injuries as children due to their symptoms. For example, someone with ADHD who is always being told, "You're not listening" could learn to deny hearing things that were said or accuse the speaker of being the one who is not remembering correctly as a coping strategy. It would be interesting to see research on the ADHD/NPD comorbidity.
@@jssmith1608 mine is super manipulative, liar and gaslight. But I know deep down in my heart that his intentions are not to hurt. He is very laid back, soft and easy to manipulate too and he’s been a victim of abuse from his parents. They are still trying to control and manipulate him. They humiliate him in every chance that they have. My poor husband has a very bad judgment and makes poor decisions out of impulse and his parents use this to make a point, that he is not capable of making choices. I can see this but he can’t. Now I’m also dealing with this abusive behaviour because they go behind my back to making make decisions without me in the pictures. I told him that it’s not my place to making him realise the family dynamics, but it breaks my heart thinking that I can’t do anything really. Just walk away if he doesn’t take control of his situation. I don’t have the mental capacity to deal with all this.
@@jssmith1608 many people with ADHD learn how to lie, manipulate and gaslight out of shame and guilt. Mine does too. But when I have catch him on a lie he can admit he’s wrong, feels shame, and tries to be better. A narcissist would never apologise nor be held accountable.
As someone with ADHD and a being a car person, I disagree with this metaphor. The brain is not equvalent to a whole car, a whole car would be equivalent to the whole human body. The brain is more like the engine. If a neuro-typical brain is akin to a conventional piston based internal combustion engine, then an ADHD brain would be a Wankel engine (also known as a rotary engine). Instead of a piston, you have a rotor. It's highly inefficient (in terms of engines, this means low fuel mileage, higher emissions output), and a high power output relative to its displacement. But when carefully tuned and set up, it can VERY powerful and efficient, and yes, and be a supercar (I might say a McLaren F1 or Ford GT, or a Formula 1 car, but not a Ferrari, but that's showing my bias). Also, a point of correction, at the 5:52 mark, he makes a reference to Niagar Falls and erroneously states it's in the US. While this is true, it's terribly misleading. Niagara Falls spans the Canada-US border, placing it in both countries, however, most references to Niagara Falls, most pictures, the primary tourist destination would be to the Canadian side as the famous and majestic Horeshoes Falls part of Niagara Falls are on the Canadian side of the border and Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada is the primary tourist destination compared to Niagara Falls, New York, USA. The American Falls, as they are known, are beautiful, but not nearly as majestic as the Horseshoe Falls. People with ADHD tend to like to be accurate, so I'm sure the doctor would understand this part of my comments. I do like the proposed alternative name, though I don't think it's quite right because it ignores the hyperkinetic brain activity (variable attention alludes to this, but doesn't make it clear) and that motivation is dopamine dependent, things like money generally don't motivate us the same as most people.
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I always had a love/ hate relationship with ADHD. I was diagnosed at 38 as a woman. It was the shame in those seminal years of being "different" and not "accepted" was whst I needed to be healed from. Literally an unconventional person and it was hard for me t accept that my wiring can be used for His kingdom and glory
14 years of this has been so difficult. Took your course a decade ago, I don't have much faith she can stick with anything for long. I don't want to divorce but I cannot accept the thought of living with this behavior for the rest of my life. It has not been worth all the effort.
Does she actively work on herself? If she has the mindset that "oh, I have adhd. Theres nothing I can do about it!" Id say divorce her. I HAVE to hold myself accountable because nobody else is going to. If she refuses to do that, then she can't be helped.
I think I have ADHD. If I had a lot of money, I would visit UnlockingADHD headquarters in Singapore, and experience talking with people with ADHD. I have been struggling to make friends because I think people are boring. I think talking to someone who has ADHD is fun!
Beautiful💜
thank you!!
This was phenomenal 👏🏾 Thank you! I was recently dx'd but always knew. I've tried various coping strategies over 30 yrs or so such as behavior modifications, therapy on/off and self-medicating but menopause made ADHD unbearable. I hit a wall and I was terrified. Fortunately, my children are adults. I'm now in my first "successful", non-long-distance relationship and exactly 1 year in, I recognized some old behaviors resurfacing. I just recently learned of how ADHD affects relationships. I always had those instant connections that faded quickly especially since I'm overly sensitive about criticism of my behaviors. I've been picked on just about all my life for being late, disorganized, forgetful, even spontaneous. I coped by self-isolating. I stayed away from my family for over 30 years because being around them killed my self-esteem. I couldn't take the judgment. I also started struggling with work recently. I almost quit my job of 12 years because I started to lack confidence and became very distracted and agitated. I actually have a pretty good job. I've worked remotely for many years and often get distracted but I compensate by staying late/ starting early, as needed. My hours are flexible, I work autonomously, and I have lots of vacation time - so this job suits me and this disability (for lack of a better term). I am now on day 4 of dextroamphetamine 10mg. I can't believe I waited and suffered so long while this med was available. I'm so pleased with the results that I'm already dreading the possibility of building a tolerance. I was so happy she addressed that. Thank you so much for tips, advice and resources. I've transitioned from feeling hopeless, sad and regretful. It's a new day for me and I'm grateful 🙌🏾
Thanks pastor for this😢
Wish i knew this info before the breakup
A pastor talking about this is so validating for me 😭
glad to hear that this helpful
So boring naw. Was good in the start but at end. Of on a tangent what the hell
Excellent. Thank you.
you are welcome!
Melissa Orlov is just stellar. Have recommended so many clients to watch all her material. Just wonderful information!
thank you - and we agree that Melissa is awesome
感恩💝国内相关资料非常少，孩子在吃专注达，很担心上瘾🤐
www.unlockingadhd.com/zh-hans/ We have some information on ADHD in Chinese above
Please translade in Portuguese 😢
Amazing Brian, absolutely incredible : D GOOD LUCK in the Future !!!! 😊
thank you for your encouragement for Brian!
Unfortunately we have pastors, especially a few "famous" ones claim that ADHD doesnt exist and or is Satanic and the medications used to control it are Satanic and of the devil. John F. MacArthur is one. Thats why i refuse to listen to anything he says.
Great session. Please have more of this.
Have no treatment, no support from like minded people & am socially isolated from others from loss of transportation. The whole process of finding help wears me out as I struggle making decisions & spending what little $ I have. .🫤
sorry to hear of your situation, @keilana6. Hope you have managed to find support - online support from others in your community is also helpful.
Very sad as I know I can never afford treatment. I unrealistically (?) hoped that Jesus would heal me. If I at least had someone to talk to I wouldn't feel so isolated.
Hi Sue. It’s not unrealistic to believe that Jesus will heal you, actually it’s the opposite. Keep praying, keep believing. He is able to do everything. Do you have a church you go to? A pastor you could talk to? If not, pray and look for a serious church!
Hi, this is Pastor Jesse, the pastor in the video above. I never asked the Lord to heal me from this because He used my ADHD for over 50 years in spite of the times that I tripped up. It is an essential part of Who I am today and Why people come to me for help. Even 9 months after being diagnosed and being on medication, I learnt how to change the way I used my medication so that I could WIELD my ADHD more consistently and effectively as a Strength and that it doesn't come back to bite me. It was at that point that I realised I should not be using my meds to Eradicate my ADHD, but to use it to Enhance the best aspects of my ADHD. I have such joy today because I have NO regrets nor thoughts about "wasted years" as I now know that my best years are ahead of me!
@jessesng1970 pastor, I need to talk to you regarding this, how could I contact you... please this help is needed....just wat u said I agree God uses your adhd for his benefit....
@@jessesng1970me too I am in my fifties
@jessesng1970 Glory to God in the highest!!! Because of your video( and God lead me to your video) I just gained a level of freedom and confidence with my gift of ADHD!! What the emeny thought would hinder me GOD will use for his GLORY!! I will not give up!! I will graduate in May 24 and God will send help mate! Its NOT to late!! Blessings and Favor!!
More excuses to hurt the disabled shud be ashamed not one Positive word for for people living with ADHD
Phillip, I’m in a toxic relationship with my non adhd husband. Sometimes its hard for me to recognize what treatment is basically emotionally abusive towards a disabled person. Can you say more about what things in this video specifically you think are excuses to hurt disabled people?
Typical. ADHDr. 😒
So you consider yourself "disabled" because you have ADHD? Interesting. I just see my wife and son as being different types of people in this world of neurodiverse folks.
@@maggiesamson337have some compassion woman
@@djkobafemilike LGBTQIA’s lingo changes - I heard a new word called “different-ability” As of now it’s derogatory term to call someone disabled 2024 🤷🏽♀️ Not sure if everyone heard the term yet but this is coming from the social work world
Fantastic to hear such similar thoughts and experiences. Thank you for sharing. Stu - The Noisy Brain
Glad you enjoyed it!
This is very helpful information ❤❤ Thank you for your content. I know people in my circle who has it and it helps me understand things better.
You are so welcome!
Thank you so much for Real life adhd information!!! Non ADHD Wife I feel compassion and understanding after watching.
thank you for your encouragement - we are glad you found this helpful
If your response is compassion and understanding I think you have a lucky partner. Hope everything goes well for both of you