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I'd love to know the stats of narcissistic parents involved in estranged families
Eventually the grandchildren will find you and have a beautiful relationship with all of their family.
Estrangement is catastrophic for a mother most of the time. I developed a condition called Tokotsubo Syndrome, also known as "broken heart disease." It's a cardiomyopathy caused by stress and sorrow.
Now 7years since this presentation was posted.....and the best I've ever heard. I was very ready for t his information and I so appreciate Anurag Agrawal's delivery. Thank you, however belated.
Never too late, @squadiodatamj5998! Esp not for this book talk, which does have a kind of timeless quality. Thanks for your feedback. We'll pass it along to Prof. Agarwal.
Good interview, thanks for keeping it up. Some of my adult children cut me out of their life, with the trigger being my refusal to take the GMO jab for Covid. I relied on my immune system through daily exercise and diet. I never did get Covid, they did. That led to them being even angrier. I presented facts and I was called a conspiracy theorist. Facts still do not matter. Unfortunately, they refuse to engage in any Family Counseling or Conflict management. THey believe they are setting a " Healthy " boundary by cutting me out of their life. Advise from a therapist. There is no abuse, simply life style and individualist differences. They simply cannot perceive that they are responsible for their own feelings, and no one can make them " feel" anything. The Blame becomes a motivation to keep distancing. I wonder if there is any way to work around or through this " Blame Motivation"? I have come to a peace with this cut off and everyday I still have fear for them, and my grandchildren being raised in this environment. I do not have much hope for them having any realization or breakthrough, because of the insolation that have put into place. Probably a new cultural theme that supports this.
What an interesting video. Thank you.
Your welcome--we're happy it was helpful to you!
How to get Bioses search, I don't find in word 2019
You know you are a geek if you watched the entire thing like I did. :) LOL! Great video! Passing on almost lost traditions are very very important.
Great lecture! Thank you Dr. Pillemer.
I've got very minimal contact with my kids but i cant imagine cutting contact all together
Dr. Pillermers work and his ideas are techniques for family situations that are salvageable, not people who had sadistic outright villainous families of origin. If your situation is insolveable not one single person would want you to go back for more abuse. However many people have workable issues in their families of orgin so if this lecture is not for you leave, no one expects you to listen to a lecture that you can not use for your situation. Other people working on their issues for themselves and their families is valid. It's terribly sad some people will never have sane healthy relatives who change for the better,but this attitude that some estranged adults believe all parents are as bad as their parents is what is getting push back.
Amazing desert bees found in Oregon’s shrub steppe kzread.info/dash/bejne/f5WspqShdqfTksY.htmlsi=xhoBh-VSKuil_p7z
Fabulous interview. I purchased his book, Fault Lines, and it's to be here tomorrow. I look forward to reading it.
Many years ago was advised by someone older, with much life experience; that the more children one has, the greater the chance that in future - at any given time - there will be some of them who are not angry about something one had said or done 😅 Another elder testified how the biggest mistake he had made while raising his children, had been to do too much for them. His 30 year old offspring could not yet stand on their own feet. After him continually supporting them so well, they could not handle challenges and problems on their own. It is indeed a blessing to be granted the privilege to raise children, yet one should be diligent in preparing them to individuate and become independent, and as soon as they are ready, one should be quick to release them towards finding their own way in life.
Yes indeed, estrangement is far more difficult to deal with than losing a loved one through death. This is especially applicable to marriage break-down due to adultery; as is written in Ecclesiates 7:26.
I think Larry David summed it up succinctly- "Not everybody likes eachother". There, i just saved y'all 90 minutes.
Sometimes it’s just that simple. Our kids grow up and personalities don’t always work together as adults. As a parent whose daughter cut me off over 3 years ago, it still hurts and i look for answers and I find myself trying to explain that I loved my kids. I can’t help but picture that one guy from the movie “Office Space” who is realizing he is pretty useless, screaming “I’m a people person!”
In the questions section, somebody asked if the honey bees are interfering with the other bees. Don't think they do. Honey bees have what is called " flower constancy", when they find a good food source, they focus on that and keep going back untill it's exhausted. Solitary bees don't have that, they visit what ever flower they find
Amazing women and pioneer who happens to be a cousin. What a legacy. Rest in peace dear lady.
Kolkata is proud of you
I'm so glad I found this, thank you! I hope you are well! I just started a small (10 trees) apple orchard using all interesting cultivars, several of them cider apples. But I ran into a pollination issue, being a newb. In fixing the issue I ran into the Frequin Rouge for a candidate pollinator for my Kingston Black. I haven't been able to sort out the two names of Binet and Frequin, nor the diploid, triploid issues, which the commercial nurseries have a little issue with on this particular apple. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated! Love my Kingston Black!! ;-)
I've experienced this with my two boys. I also took a brief break from my mom and brother. I think it's OK for creating better boundaries and breaking bad dynamics. But, I think if possible it's best to make up if love is there. But not if you really just don't like your sibling or parent
The camera man is a donkey or mule!???
Why is the narrator being shown instead of the chart?
It's incredible that whoever was "filming" this kept the camera pointed at the speaker for almost the entire time and only showed the slides for about a second a piece. Really detracts from the talk and the points the speaker was trying to make.
What's with the native people thing I'm here to hear about the book
Great presentation from Steven. real joy to listen to. About one important aspect of Calculus, I come up with a quote "Divide and Rule" 🙂 but maybe someone before me also did.
Reconciliation may be okay for some situations, but in our case, we initiated the estrangement and set specific standards for any reconciliation. Realistically, we knew that our simple demands would never be met. I still suffered years of nightmares in which they tried to get back into my life and reduce me to the little role I had to play in the dysfunctional family dynamic. At least by day I can revel in my freedom.
Thank you for another very informative lecture.
That was an absolutely TERRIFIC talk! I can’t wait to implement these ideas on my forested property. Thank you SO much!
Too bad there was typing and clicking going on!!! She needed to mute herself….
He learned from the brilliant Lucy Ann Bishop Millington
I wish some of the slides would have been shown as he explained things. I can hear him and look at a slide at the same time.
Thanks ❤
This is the best one yet, i appreciating these
Filming is amazing so cleaver
Wow this is great
i think i made mistake. so many time tried but always shows: Tab Delimited Import Error
This man truly loves what he's teaching. And that fact alone makes me want to learn it...
An inspiring man.
Resist CBDC. They want EVERYTHING you own. Which means they want total control. I don't need people to tell me how I should spend my money. Fuck right off.
Please don’t type while the expositor is talking
you saved my life. Praise be
If you read this comment section you’ll see how challenging estrangement is for all the parties.
Estrangement is the result of living INVALIDATED. Your list of pathways, I believe to simply be the final straw. In estranged relationships there is one or more offenders whose deflection, projection, and slander are believed and repeated by everyone and a truthteller who nobody believes. So, the truthteller goes away and the rest of the family pretends that those who commit crimes against others have the traits (stolen from) the truthteller. The truthteller is considered "bad." It's based on false (projected) identifies, is illogical and insane, but really is just that simple. We endure it for as long as we can take it. It's a lifelong role that will never change. What nobody notices during inheritance quarrels is that NONE of the culprit personalities simply abide by respecting the wishes of the deceased. They are rewarded for disrespecting their deceased loved one, while simultaneously painting us black. Your examples show narcissistic elements. No narcissist is every going to be honest and open during therapy (the reason we give up). in the mother/son video, she starts off with narcissistic statements. She lists items that are exterior (food, good school - no mention of fond memories, love or acceptance.) She then invalidates their reality. An authentic person would be soul searching. It's obvious to those of us who have endured it that the son is the invalidated truthteller and the mother is living the false persona. Agreed we can be the bigger person, but every time we do, they attack us again and then play victim. it's a perpetual phenomenon that is frustrating. We don't bring up the past, they do. The Estranged person is Exiled basically, then the narcs go into therapy and call the Estranged person a "liar" - again invalidating us. The need to assign blame is at the core of every narcissist. WE aren't blaming, we are responding to being blamed. We try one more chance over and over and every time they make us the bad guy. We are forced to accept that they will never see us for who we are, or simply get out from in front of the firing range. 🙂
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11 years old and there is still not a way to export from endnote with the field names intact so you can import them back again I'm gonna die. Thanks for the vid-yo tho yo.
I have couple of realted questions. re: milkweed "disarming". Does it take one hour to disarm one leaf or the entire plant? If so, how come ti takes so long? How did you come to the 30 to 60 percent death rate of first instar caterpillars? Is the first stage instar unable disable the sap using the local veins, so to speak?
Hello @pbsundrop! Thanks for your interest in the book talk by Prof. Agrwal. If you have specific questions for him, we encourage you to try contacting him via his lab at agrawal.eeb.cornell.edu/ Good luck!
It feels better to know I’m not alone. Thank you.
Im still hoping to find assistance ie a study or therapist aware of NPD ...resultant damages in family.
Thanks for the video presentation!