I am a 3rd generation obsessive compulsive hoarder with mommy issues and a lifetime of betrayal trauma to sort out. This channel is where I discard my pride, face my fears, expose my shame and let a lost and dying world see the restoration that my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is doing in me. I want to draw attention to His miraculous healing, His inexplicable peace, His tender Love and mercy.
Do you know him? That's my King.
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Very good message at the end. I crave a man that soothes me, quiets my mind. I am sure a lot of women do.
Pretty accurate. 3 years with a DA gf
A mechanic told me to drain the fuel tank because it hasn’t been running for a long time. Is there an easy way? Thank you
Drivers side youll see a little hand crank petcock. Im not near mine to check but i think it unbolts or unthreads.
Thank you
antagonistic, ya when you said you've been jumped , that characteristic came to mind
rage. maybe theres a high amount of anger deep within you from your horrible childhood. i had that and i had to release it
talk is cheap. im gona im gona im gona. prove it
Lord, please bless this hater. I ask that her sins be not charged to her account and that she come to know you and be healed, that she have your peace in her heart.
@certifiedhoarder thats not hate that is tough love. im sorry you cant see the difference
@@ericagardens1234 yes dear, youre right. Youre always right. Love you too. Oh sorry, wrong erica. My erica was always sorry not sorry too so this just felt like my miserable abusive home life with a cold, critical, manipulative woman. I'll pray for your husband too.
@certifiedhoarder wow fascinating. talk truly is cheap, you seem very emotional. i hope you heal your traumas.
@@ericagardens1234 yes, it is cheap. But grace and mercy are priceless. Perhaps you can spare some for the people you encounter in your daily life. Yes i am a lifetime of repressed emotions on 2 feet. I have probably a hundred videos exposing all my flaws for the world to scrutinize as they please. Thank you for your commentary. I hope you heal your traumas as well.
Amen!
Nice set up! God's blessings to you also!
This story cuts to the bone.
Had my ex go completely off the rails on meth and heroin after our divorce. It gave me perspective if your kids are safe and cared for well let the petty stuff go. I got custody but still made sure he saw his other side of the family every week and stuck to my part. Remarried a great faithful woman and had one more boy she has helped me raise my first son and has been the only mother he's known. God has touched you and sounds like you are willing to do the work. I struggle everyday and God is the wall i run into when I need correction. I tell people nothing like getting G-checked by the original. I pray you have a stable journey from here on in brother best of luck keep your eyes fixed on him.
Thank you for that. I appreciate it! Praise the Lord
I am so encouraged to see someone doing an honest self evaluation. I pray for courage and strength and peace for you. Thank you and God bless you and your family🙏
Thank you so much, thats very encouraging to me during a difficult time
Keep pressing into Yah/God! You are on the right path. Praying you have good godly people to walk along side you as you grow more and more in righteousness and the fruits of the spirit. Your message has helped me as the mother of two men who were wounded in my divorce and remarriage. I never talked bad about their dad to them. They were wounded by their dad and step-dad. I am an empath so I was always trying to keep it together and make sure everyone was happy. Unfortunately, that makes me not respected and pretty much walked all over. I am seeking help to become assertive at 59. Most importantly, I too want the fruits of the spirit to pour in me and out of me. Blessings to you!
It lifts my heart to know that my mess helps even just one person feel a little less messy. Thank you for sharing that. Brightened my day. Make sure to tell your boys you choose them unconditionally
Goodest of angels
Dismissive/Anxious on her side. Ethical Avoidant on mine, learned what it's like to be Cody from my mom. ... Let's do this thing.
I needed to hear this thanks! Great video😁
It takes so muck strength to engage with this topics and openly share it. What you are doing is so awsome. More people should do this.
@@pascal4905 honestly id explode if i couldnt spew all these icky thoughts out. It was by accident i discovered theres a real need out there for people trying to figure out their own mess, to hear someone one elses mess. And im pretty messy it turns out.
You've been able to articulate what I've been subconsciously understanding lately with your amazing analogies! God bless you!
Wow, thank you sir. Glad to be useful
Interesting video man
Glad you think so!
@@certifiedhoarder i actually wish you riffed a bit longer on this one!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts man! Spending time alone and meditating on all your fears, and loving yourself through all those fears, heals the wounded parts. It takes time, dedication and consistency. No wonder so many people get addictions in life, as the path of facing fear is tough.
Thank you ted. When the accumulated baggage of life gets too heavy to carry, set it down and walk away from it.
My ex-wife left me as she said she was bored and wanted something more, even though we owned a nice house and a beautiful boy. My passion was my YT channel (not this one) but she had no interest in content creation. The new person she left me for beats her up and she still chooses to stay with him. When she left me we didnt fight and i didnt resist her decision and we remain friends as i want the least disruption for my son, who i am the primary carer for now. I loved her a it hurt badly, but i healed myself by taking responsibility for my own trauma and not projecting it onto anyone else or blaming anyone else. My parents were emotionally unavailable bringing me up and i do suffer from anxiety, however my actions with this divorce indicates ive done enough healing that im now more securely attached? Thanks for you uncut raw footage, i think instead of the intro speech just go straight into your thought as soon as you hit record.
Explanation was great man. The end was fucking funny too 'uh Nah'.
I lost my train of thought and almost started to ramble and sidenote around in my head trying to find it, which i hate about myself so i just quit. I contemplated editing but asked why do i even care what people think of an unpolished video? Im sitting on the porch of a meth shack. No sense in pretense.
This is much like old you tube vids I liked in 2008-12 era
dude you're much better than a lot of these psychologist people on youtube
Thanks man.. im just learning myself. Check out heidi priebe and the school of life. Always excellent
Thanks for your video. It help me diagnose the radio and electric window not working and the ABS light staying on. Sure enough it was the ignition switch on the column.
Glad it helped
Thank you for this. I'am a woman trying to understand a man behavior - Someone that had rejected a genuine friendship and love.
Once we let our guards down we are easily wounded, ultra touchy, sensitive to the slightest rejections, always ready to pop off in anger. We, need excessive reassurance and really personalized invitations. We are difficult relationships to maintain and the people that gravitate toward us romantically are usually much better at stirring our insecurity than they are of making us feel secure.
that's the true story of my life
It can be healed. Stick with me girl. Lets get better together.
thanks for the insight man, from one anxious attached person to another 😅I just broke it off with a fearful avoidant but we remain friends. You're right, there needs to be a core thing you're both working towards. I don't think I had that either. At least not right now. Keep looking inwards.
It really is reflecting and inward contemplation that starts allowing these things to heal. Thanks for watching
Dude you’re awesome. Thank you for this. Finally a man who is working on understanding himself and his partner just like me.
Thank you. It has been life transforming, in a very short amount of time.
this abrupt stop is great, a confident and pure discard, just like we avoidants do
LoL.. my phone is super full and glitchy.. im getting too lazy for edits so i just dump vids here kinda raw now. I figure people will love or hate of their own will no matter what i do so who cares?
@@certifiedhoarder no one! but still, this is deep understanding of the process, thanks and good luck to you and your glasses
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I love watching how your thought process evolves over time. More and more wisdom in your videos
Thank you. Im passing through the stages of grief and just letting people see what it looks like. That its okay to flip flop through the emotions. Theyre uncontrollable and you just have to let them run their course with time.
Beautiful video. Want to give you props on a number of things. 1) great job putting safety before ego. Getting that guy the hell out of the danger zone regardless of feelings or your pride in “ahh I got this!”. Great job, I’m sure he’d understand and I’m even more sure his wife and kids appreciate his safety. 2) I got here from you using this to add to a comment on another loggers channel. Way to put your video up and not leave it to comment drama to make a point. Both of you make great content and I appreciate it. 3) good description of intent and nice felling job(: Cheers and Shalom(:
Thanks doug, appreciate it!
You are never given a wish without the ability to make it come true. You may have to work for it, however.
Remember this when raising kids. God never rebuked Jacob. He only gave him promises. Rebuking flesh is a waste of time. Not saying don’t discipline when kids get out of hand. But we can be hard on kids. When they can’t help it.
Im really workin on it. I cant see it in real time but when watching it after im like why wont they guy shut up and just hang out with his kid. My grandfather and father were the same way i am now. When i listen to my dad im like oh no its me. I have to change
You totally missed the “Cha Cha now” comment 😂. Tell him it was awesome. HAPPY BIRTHDAY Henry!
Next time!
dad: slide to the left kid: do the cha cha now cha cha slide song haha your kid was quick with that one.
Hes sharper than his ol man thank heavens!
@@certifiedhoarder one day he'll realize how blessed he is to have you.
@@maryanncampbell5681 its me who was blessed when the kids showed up. Thank you lord for my kids
Wisdom and Beauty!
Yes. The avoidant I'll refer to loved complaining out of nowhere saying that "I didn't meet her half-way" and tried to make me less expressive about my feelings. I respectfully challenged her point of view and managed to come to terms most of the time. But the first time I wanted to talk about my concerns regarding our biggest fight (first discard), she exploded and said I complained too much, only to disappear right after. It's been 5 months without a beep from her.
Let her go. You have no idea how much heartache will have been inflicted by the last time she flights on you in a few decades. Its extreme.
You have gorgeous hooded eyes
Umm.. thanks. Grew em all by myself. I always thought they were too squinty honestly
Stop using plastic components. Plastic is made to break. Junk junk junk. Not your fault. Fords quality control. SUCKS. Replace it is all you can do. Later.
Very spot on. I have spent 10 years trying to understand and have a relationship with a dissmisive avoidant and have finally walked away. This kind of relationship will leave you feeling alone and exhausted on every level. My advice is to realize they aren't capable of being truly intimate or close. What kept me attached for so long was the amazing love bombing and hyper sexualized begining. Thats the hook and is what kept me invested for so long. You eventually realize what your chasing after in the relationship are the things you brought into it because they never possessed the ability to truly connect.
They CAN be healed and can become incredibly committed to you if you can truly forgive all the hatchet wounds they give you in the process of becoming healed themselves. Imagine having to be someones psychotherapist and also spouse. You have to be codependant and avoidant yourself to even attract a DA. So youve got all this learning and healing to do in yourself while simultaneously enduring and troubleshooting them. And any time theyre mad theyll throw that in your face. You have to turn your ears off to the fight responses, and be self loving enough to endure the distance they need. But with time both of you can become secure together IF you are the safe space they run to for everything. They want true love and intimacy that works as smoothly as the movies, which is the fantasy world they live in. If you become the same space they can slide out of DA (which is the cold cruel closed off screaming burnout queen) into an FA, which is when they become a people pleasing waitress who serves you attentively. From FA you can become a lot more encouraging and start restoring their own assurance. There is nothing you can compliment when theyre in DA mode because theyre destroying everything to gain space. You actually have to become unafraid of losing them enough to take 10 steps back and stay back until they re-engage. When they do, re-engage you cannot be critical of them of its back to DA destruction. Youve got to stay encouraging and supportive enough to keep them in FA to work on things in a way that does not shame, judge, criticize or condemn them back to DA. My ex has changed tremendously in 6 months apart, as have i. Im certain ww'd slide back together and eventually find our way to secure attachment if she didnt truly fall in love with her rebound. He seems to love her as well, they complement each other better than we ever did and he brings out her joy through music. I stifled that in her and she stifled my love of being in gods wild creation. In each other, we didnt have partners that walked with us in our happy place. We each went to our own corner feeling isolated. Ive started getting to know other women that seem to suit me better as well. Where love could come easy for once. Time will tell
I dig the video but its a lie. So you can beat this, 1. Put Jesus in your life, 1a. Crack open the WORD and let God do a mighty work in your life. 1b. Pray about mental clarity and healing. 1c. Admit your avoidant tendencies. 2. Recognize and pick apart your avoidant tendencies, 3. Continually, everyday work at recognizing your tendencies, 3. Working everyday to respond with patience, kindness and empathy. You may always struggle, but you can make life livable, for you and a significant other. You can rebuild the chemical pathways and work through the trauma on why you have Avoidant Tendencies. Its a struggle, but dont accept defeat..You can do this!!! I know, I have!
Thats basically what my whole channel is, going thru all those steps. But the truth is shes in love with another man and ive got to be happy for her and just move on. My recorded emotions are just captured snapshots and they change all the time. Its really a diary so i can see the emotions i wont remember in a year. I totally 100% agree we coulda fixed us if we didnt burn everything down over and over and over first. Shes still my best friend, she just now walked away from sitting next to me at boys football practice. Im happy shes in love. The Lord will send me a partner whenever he decides its right and i have peace with that.
I have experience everything you've talked about with my spouse she is very avoidant. 😔 You cannot confront them with anything because it will be turned against you . They definitely do not take accountability for their actions at all.
If its presented critically they reject it as if their life depends on it, because to them, it does. Watch heidi priebes videos on toxic shame. Gane changer. Wish i knew. My exwife is a sweet lovey fearful avoidant when she feels loved. Shes a cold cruel dismissisive avoidant when she feels criticized. I can provoke her to shift from FA to DA with ease. Their complaint box has a landmine inside. Just drop the letter in and booooom in your face.
Thank you for sharing
You bet!
Diamonds in the rough. I struggle with my ill temper.
Me too!!
Just so you know… there’s NO WAY you are a narcissist. A narcissist would NEVER sit there and reflect on their own actions and issues. They lie to themselves. I’ve seen several of your videos and you’re nothing like my father… a true narcissist who I have decided to stop having a relationship with for my children. He started doing the same things to my children that he did to me and my brother… crazy anger and domination. You think he would’ve learned the first go around? Definitely not!
Thank you. Ive know since the marines forced me to get a psych eval like 20+ yrs ago that i dont have NPD but i did have a few of the criteria. My defense mechanisms were a mystery to me all my life but now that im starting to learn them im gaining more control. Thanks for your comment and im sorry about your father.
Hi Thanks for sharing your feelings here, it helps me look deeper into my relationship and my feelings. I also suffer from anger for similar reasons. God knows that I repeatedly try to overcome my feelings. Prayer has helped me a lot, and I continue to try. I want to get past this stage and have a stable relationship with a good person who makes me happy and I make him happy, and I want to have children who make me happy and who worship God. I am a Muslim, and there are many religious similarities between us Muslims and Christians. Maybe you want to look at the story of Job from the Islamic perspective. He is the prophet of patience. Likewise, the prophets Joseph and Jacob, their story speaks of patience and family betrayal. In the story of the Prophet Lot, he faced ostracism from society, and his wife was also not what he wanted. Read it even if you are a Christian. Take what benefits you and leave what opposes your religion. Be well, and pray for me and I will also pray for you. May God answer the prayers of both of us.
Thank you sister, i will pray for your husband to be revealed.
I’m a DA. Adam Lane Smith has the best videos on the Dismissive Avoidant. I make only Dopamine. I don’t know what that Feeling is of being close to anyone. You want us to give you something foreign to us. I have to have passionate aggressive seggs to feel the dopamine. Cuddling has no sensations. I don’t make oxytocin. I need dopamine so I need novelty and excitement to feel anything good. So I want a new house or a vacation or a roller coaster. Otherwise I’m numb and being asked to make him feel loved. I have no idea how to give or receive a feeling of love. It’s exhausting seeking dopamine hits and trying to give them. I’m getting the impression that I could just cuddle an hour and give him happiness even though that seems weird and boring to me. I really do wish I could make oxytocin and feel bonded and loved. I loved my man enough to run him off to find a woman who can give him oxytocin and receive it.
Did Morons Pay To See That? I'm In
It's a trait of our wonderful personality. God bless you!