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Someone forgot centaurs are not minotaurs.
Depends on what I have planned, sometimes they already know each other, and sometimes they loosely work together or familiar with each others work, once I have forced them together as prisoners so they had to work together, I have done the tavern meeting a few times but always struggle with doing it smoothly, same with any random meeting, always a struggle
"Maybe I will become a monk to thank god that you are wearing a helmet." "I don't want to insult you; it would be like pouring water in the sea." "Please, before we will proceed, can you close your visor?" "I promise that I will get you a puppy. Nobody else could ever love you. On the other thought, maybe I don't want to punish an innocent puppy that much." (two Vicious mockeries) "You are as sharp and tough as porridge." "I would kick you, but I don't like shit on my feet." "When I see how big and strong you are, I have to say that we should bring somebody as good as you. Would you mind waiting here until my dying grandma arrives?" "You are so smart that you would open a shoe shop in Hobbiton." "We brought in a literal Tabaxi, but you are still the biggest pussy around." "Luckily I have a chisel, because you are as smart as a log." (after walking through the door, not even acknowledging the guard) "I'm sorry, I was sure that you were just a dummy. And I stand correct."
A spore dragon. Basically a clicker zombie but dragon.
I’ve been wanting to run this one for a while but I just need to work out a few more kinks before I do. It’s a world that has never known conflict. Resources of all kind have been abundant, meaning that no civilization would really have the means to conquer one another or start wars. These United people spread across the continent and created a global alliance to unify every civilization. Because most resources weren’t being used towards military purposes, the study of science, medicine, art, and the arcane was paramount. Some time later, a group of the most brilliant and enlightened minds formed a group called The Guild (name still pending) and they set up their university in the heart of the largest city, Stagspire. This world-wide renaissance and global enlightenment led to large spiritual groups, holding dear to the warship a god. This however… would be the first step of the worlds downfall. Tensions began to rise as each circle would try to prove to the other that their god was the correct god to follow. Eventually, they would begin to vandalize and desecrate churches and places of religious significance. A global crusade was drawing near… The Guild couldn’t standby and watch as their world hurdled toward oblivion. At the center of Stagspire they begin to construct a massive, obsidian-like sphere (a little bigger than the Epcot Ball) and trap all of the gods inside to create a sort of omni-intelligence. A One God. The ritual lasted an hour, but The Guild was successful… as people watched in awe, the gods were all contained in this sphere. One of the Guild members asked “Who are you?” And they were all met with screaming. Horrible screams, guttural and impossible screams. The sphere began to crack and shake the earth below it. The housing unit shattered and Stagspire was reduced to rubble by the following explosion. This is just the beginning… The explosion at Stagspire and the resulting mutilation of the gods caused a massive storm to spread around the globe. Some cities had time to prepare, most didn’t. Because of a new material than can be enriched from a rare element, the other cities took to the sky. Being able to float above the coming storm. Airships were built to traverse from city to city. But as threats from the storm begin to rise, the largest and first city to float, Beacon, needed an army. That’s where the Dragon Riders come in. The Party will be freshly graduated from training and are now Dragon Riders, the job of the riders? To fight off “Manifestations”. These are essentially Kaiju that are formed from the gods, attempting to assimilate into a somewhat comprehensible form after their mutilation in Stagspire. Floating Cities? A Geostorm? Dragons fighting Kaijus? I cannot wait to run this
4:35 Adrien the Monk... seriously?
When life gives you utters drink the milk
It may not be that funny but here’s mine So I do a homebrew campaign where my party hunts down an assassin, I planned for them to have their second encounter with him at the end of a dungeon where they thought to meet the leader of a guild that would help them. Instead they needed their entire session to choose their horses because they rolled so bad on their animal handling. After that they forgot about the dungeon and somehow their whole goal and are now halfway through to build their own dwarve tavern
As a GM, I'm perfectly happy to work with whatever character concept you have in mind to bring to the game, almost no matter how outlandish. I only have three requirements: 1. You abide by the same rules as everyone else at the table. 2. You have your character complete on paper in your hand and ready to play when the game begins. 3. You STAY AT THE TABLE AND PAY ATTENTION DURING THE GAME.
My favorite Nat20 was in my first campaign. I wasn't the DM. It's the first ever session and the party if doing sweet FA. We're in a tavern. Someone killed the old lady that gave us the mission. Somebody else was ravaging thru her shelfs. A third person was smoking weed. And then there's me. A chaotic-evil half-orc bard, who's so bored, that I decided: "I need to shit". DM says to roll. Nat 20. I get out, go to the toilet thru the deep mud without even getting any on myself. Get to the toilet, open with such force that the door falls off. Proceed to shit and (because of the Nat20) I do so in such a fine matter, that I don't need to wipe. I go back. The chaos continues on
Mine was I was in school and I was playing with a whole bunch of friends we were in a wizard tower and they chose to go down a mystery tunnel and one friend E.C had discovered a giant brown bear at the bottom, my bard character Y.W decided to cast sleep… on E.D instead of the bear… Nat 20 after my wizard grabbed E.D and they left 😅😅
I have a campaign in mind that might be a bit too ambitious, but I'm still trying to build the start of the world in my head. Ideally, one of the best methods for an adventurer to earn money would be to make maps, sea charts and the likes. I'd imagine it'd be like 3 or 4 nations at war, and having accurate maps of the land could fetch a pretty penny for the intelligence, or if the group would rather go out to sea, they might earn money for plotting out new shipping routes (or utilizing that stuff for Piracy and treasure hunts depending on how chaotic the group is). Thus far, I don't really have much of a plot planned, just wanting to make a world to explore and all the oddities in it.
I was playing human ranger. It was my 2nd or 3rd sesion i have ever played. Party went to investigate butcher shop because reasons (I think people were getting sick from the meat, if irc). What we found, was butcher cutting up a humanoid (elf I think) and as soon as we were spotted he attacked us. After we killed him, everyone, except my ranger, left the shop. Me not knowing how to rp correctly and still exploring possibilities of D&D, decided to cut off the canibal's head and nail it to the front door with an arrow. Oh, and my second character, a tabaxi artificer, made a deal with mammon to be ressurected (story for "dumb ways to die"). Multiclassing into a warlock was just means to the goal but DM allowed it.
I think it depends on the party in question. Know your party. I've had sadistic, politically incorrect, edgy villains, who torture prisoners by starving them and leaving water just out of reach of their chains. One of them even killed minions who disagreed with him and threatened to do it again. But the thing that turned the party into five John Wicks was dealing 4 damage to the dmpc follower companion. I have the major ingredient for a disgusting villain.
The DOCHE BAG! Had a doche bag play in a session with my buds and I. Sounds ridiculous but 1st he wanted to have the BIGGEST shlong. My DM humoring him told them to roll for it, because it was ultimately irrelevant. Guy rolls a nat20 and now has a giant sausage, congratulations. He was also playing as some edgy demonic blood guy and was already pissing off the DM trying make it so he was way stronger than a lvl 1 should be because of his inherited power and stuff. I was playing as a female maid to my friend who was some noble. I was playing as the only female character and dude was trying to hit on her/ charm me with his demonic blood power because he's some devil god of harems. Both me, my friend (lord), and DM were sick of the bs. So we were then allowed to attack the devil douche bag. 2v1 (others wanted to sit and watch) I ended up getting a crit on him and the DM says his shlong the size of a leg gets cut off and he bleeds to death. That was the end of that session and he never played with us again.😂😂😂
That investigation check reminds me of the time our Cleric used Detect Magic on a Wizard Tower…a fucking Wizard Tower. Needless to say, he went blind the second he looked at the tower. Who would’ve thought that a Wizard Tower has magic.
So... you can shapeshift into something pregnant? This is really confusing, but Loki must be proud. Does that mean a Wizard could also shapeshift into a Gigachad version of themself with 20 in Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution?
I mean, if you are playing at least 3e (I'm not sure about 2e), sex/gender is not a game characteristic, so male creature shapeshifting into female creature is not against the rules. But why are they pregnant/just got birth/have hormonal problems - I have no idea. As well as why they didn't starve twice as fast from producing this quantity of milk.
I have been more on a CoC, WoD and overall noir kick of late. Also the sanity mechanic from CoC is great.
English, or Spanish? I hereby declare that if you are my opponent currently... you are gay.
Centaurs would not have udders. 😐
Mine is “everything has gone to hell, and you, along with many other, have gone out into the untamed wilds to start a new city away from the rebellion, plagues and brigands. Your party has volunteered to be the advanced force, dealing with any threats to protect the group.
When life gives you titty aids or something
I had a friend who thought he could just make his character do flips and stuff without rolling for athletics or acrobatics, also thought he should be able to do it as a bonus action and call his shots (he’d do 8 damage on a 10+hp creature and be like “I chop off its head”) and then be confused as to why the creature wasn’t dead
Man, feels like these were all just people who were sticks in the mud
One of the dumbest backstories I've ever made was for a a sea elf barbarian named bubbles. Bubbles wasn't very bright and anything but intelligent, and so one day he was traveling along an old beaten path with a semi-large wheelbarrow that held a large fish bowl of piranhas. It was late at night and he saw a man, a noble man sleeping on the side of the road, thought he was uncomfortable and thought everyone could breathe underwater... Unfortunately for the noble he couldn't, and so the piranhas feasted upon the nobleman and to avoid charges bubbles took the mans identity becoming, bob the sea elf barbarian noble
Judgment bolt: Make a DC 18 dexterity throw or get hit with 100 points of lightning damage on a success take half damage
so i was playing a giant dumb lego monster named hubert who was as dumb as a rock i joined a bit into the campian and was only a lvl 1 monk. we were fighting a "dirt man" who had like 300 hp and was restaint to bludgining damage, me being the dumb giant lvl1 monk that could use unarmed strike thought of a brillent plane, on my first turn i say "first I run up to him then using my vast knowlage of how sand castles work and how dirst is like sand i spit on him" keep in mind im a 15ft giant and my mouth can fit several fully grown men inside it, i roll a nat 20 and the DM, with a look of saddness in his eyes, says "the dirt man hardens to the point to were he crumbles away" and i was like HOLY cr@p HOW DID THAT WORK that was sopesed to be the final boss of the "mini quest"
so i was playing a giant dumb lego monster named hubert who was as dumb as a rock i joined a bit into the campian and was only a lvl 1 monk. we were fighting a "dirt man" who had like 300 hp and was restaint to bludgining damage, me being the dumb giant lvl1 monk that could use unarmed strike thought of a brillent plane, on my first turn i say "first I run up to him then using my vast knowlage of how sand castles work and how dirst is like sand i spit on him" keep in mind im a 15ft giant and my mouth can fit several fully grown men inside it, i roll a nat 20 and the DM, with a look of saddness in his eyes, says "the dirt man hardens to the point to were he crumbles away" and i was like HOLY cr@p HOW DID THAT WORK that was sopesed to be the final boss of the "mini quest"
so i was playing a giant dumb lego monster named hubert who was as dumb as a rock i joined a bit into the campian and was only a lvl 1 monk. we were fighting a "dirt man" who had like 300 hp and was restaint to bludgining damage, me being the dumb giant lvl1 monk that could use unarmed strike thought of a brillent plane, on my first turn i say "first I run up to him then using my vast knowlage of how sand castles work and how dirst is like sand i spit on him" keep in mind im a 15ft giant and my mouth can fit several fully grown men inside it, i roll a nat 20 and the DM, with a look of saddness in his eyes, says "the dirt man hardens to the point to were he crumbles away" and i was like HOLY cr@p HOW DID THAT WORK that was sopesed to be the final boss of the "mini quest"
Don't you need food to make milk?
I don't know, I play lawful good paladins, lol
Hi! New DnD player here! One of my favorite characters I've made is one named Drown. He's also a Water Genasi, with seaweed-like hair that always covers one eye (Edgy, but for a reason). He sought power for whatever reason, and so he contacted a Patron I made called Granalga. She also goes by "The Swamp's Weed" and "Grass-Eyes", just imagine a massive yeti covered in swamp plants. Among other things, she wanted to be able to see through his eyes. He didn't like this, but Granalga isn't a fan of being disagreed with. So she offered to only see through his eye when given the ability by him, and she would "take something" from him. He didn't understand after saying yes, and got a part of his personality stolen, as well as all memories around it. Extra: Whenever he officially swears loyalty to anyone else, his lungs fill with swamp water, stopping him. So there's that!
PANR has tuned in.
What does PANR mean?
@sebastienbusque2312 Post Apocalyptic News Radio, your only source for the latest goings on in the little corner of the post apocalyptic wasteland we call home.
And i quote “ Your a short mothafuka and no body likes you *Short!* when the doctors found out that you were born and they thought you were just a head untill the doctor says wait this tiny ass baby has a tiny ass body and i hate it!”
An abjuration wizard human with tough-feat and high constitution. Was a frontliner using mage armor, arcane ward, and shocking grasp in a boxing fighting style. Really liked to disrobe his robes to his waist before a fight (or most opportunities by the end) to show off his chiseled body whilst performing muscular poses and loudly promoting anything involving working out or training and as part of casting. Favorite saying was "Train the body. Train the mind." And yes, he did look like Major Armstrong from Full Metal Alchemist.
At the most basic level, the best way to avoid this kind of thing is to not have *only* the rogue be proficient in stealth. At a minimum the Bard and Ranger are almost tailor made to be effectively 'off stealth' characters, similar to how some classes can 'off tank'. If you have decent dex and stealth proficiency you can at least sneak along with the rogue to be close enough to help out in a pinch. At a more complex level, I often find that people who play Rogues want to engage in slightly different gameplay. Or rather that people who want to do this kind of stuff tend to favour Rogues. Specifically this is stuff like starting/taking over a theives guild/crime group, engage in political skulldrudgery, and otherwise engage in amassing non mechanical soft power in the form of society wide influence. This often involves sneaking off to private meetings, engaging in assassinations and eavesdropping on people for intel. If your other party members want to just hit up a dungeon to smash through some monsters you'll end up splitting the party a bunch. This one is solved by talking with the whole group about what kind of game you're playing and coming to a metagame agreement about what you're going to do moving forward.
Not me, but I was in a campaign where the Dragonborn Paladin murdered the women and children of an Orc village after we got them to surrender and then proceeded to kill the rest of the village except for two orcs. Captured a kobold waited until we reached their village to kill it in front of everyone by eating it's face off. He killed and ate his girlfriend's character because she didn't want to play with another female player who he had tried to have "extra fun" with from their job. He eventually left the table. Later on when I was persuading a NPC to guide us after a traumatic event I told him I've seen horrific events myself, the slaughter of women and children, cannibalism, and someone died from having their face eaten. The DM told me to roll for a bluff but I had to remind him these things happened with the Paladin. He questioned how he permitted all that to fly for a Paladin.
From another random video I had this idea for a scenario. The moon no longer has phases. It's either set right after it's stopped or distantly in the future. I prefer the future. You're a loose collection of people who are curious about it. Didn't the moon use to have phases? Did it finally outgrow them? What happened and why? Meanwhile BBEG is a sentient / ambitious werewolf that caused it and has been slowly assimilating the world ever since. Maybe your whole party is werewolves and no one knows it because that's just normal. Or the entire town is werewolves and you just go as long as possible without describing the character in the manner. "Ah you go talk to Sarah the inn keeper. She's a nice older lady with a great toothy smile." "Bob is the lumberjack, kind of odd but that's ok".
"May Vecna, champion of the weak have mercy on your soul☠️💀☠️💀☠️
We had just killed a black dragon and cut off her head when a group of Duergar who had been worshipping her as a god ran into the cave. The leader screams "What have you done?!?!" I yell "You want Boraxia? Here she is!" and I use Catapult to hurl her head at them. Nat 20. The severed head of his god hits him square in the chest for 3D8 bludgeoning damage and he has an existential crisis.
I was playing a cleric for the first time and a player asked me to say my "holy rites" for a dead body, having no idea what that meant I said "Whats that?" and the table burst out laughing thinking I was talking in character. So, the entire campaign I played a warforged cleric blacksmith that had no idea she was a cleric.
Sooo.. Got a story for this. The party went through the final dungeon. Down and down into the heart of the source of the warmaschienes. They fought valiantly against a forgemaster of the forge of souls that makes fuel from captured souls. They beat that Forgemaster and all were pretty torn up. They know they wouldn't make it back out alive. Either the now alarmed countless mechanoid soldiers or the radiation of the Place above would kill them. There was no turning back, so they got down deeper. To a place not visited by mortals in hundreds of years. (almost) and found the ground zero. The remnants of the meteor that wiped out the old world. They were exactly under it. And there was a single guardian of what steered the metor. A sleeping god. regenerating for a long long time. That guardian was the Hydra. five dragons fused together by the magic of that place. They guarded the God and its secret. No mortal was to ever know of this, and yet, there were a ragtag bunch of random adventurers right here. two stout warriors, a nimble archer and Itaia. A mage. They had some talk, as both sides knew they couldn't run. They got answers to their burning questions. And a fanial stand against the wrath of a halfgod-Draconic hydra. The first volley was a bombardment of divine light, wiping out half the party. Itaia stands still. 2 HP left. One Warrior shrugged it off. The other two were down on the ground. The Forgemaster had taken its toll on them. The two standing unleashed whatever they had still in them. Magic and all the strenght a halfdead warrior could have gotten still. The next strike took Itaia out. Not even downed. Right out. 134 damage overkill. Were she stood now just was ash and two footprints on burned ground. The Warrior raised her arms with a 'come at me!' pose, accepting fate and was taken out aswell. They were honored as heros, who took the ultimate sacrifice and some things that were left behind would be brought back to theri kin. Itaia left behind a mate. Someone who was sure he'd be a father by now. As this was Itaias last assignment befor retiering to start her family. The campaign endet with a literal bang. No survivors, just legends.
Two things come to mind. 1 - our assassin was a skilled woodworker. Carried loads of poison spoons to just leave around taverns and homes for no reason. And for assassinations, of course 2 - my 3e blackguard struck a deal with a local barbarian tribe to help take a small village that my group intended to use as a home base and as an alibi for our evil deeds in the kingdom. After all, our people trusted and loved us. Spent about 3 days getting the trust of the town to find the person poisoning the populace (see spoons above) and befriended the leaders of the village. When the barbarians arrived, I got all the leadership to hide in the local church while we gathered the local militia to fight the barbarians. Boarded the church doors and windows up “for protection” and then lit the church on fire while the barbarians killed the militia, sacked the village, and left us to take over
A large city with a dungeon in it that is randomly generated and that the town has turned into a tourist attraction with a massive gambling setup. Each trip to the dungeon generates a custom scenario with unique environments, like spawning in on a big ass raft with centaurs launching arrows at you from both sides, or spawning you into the bottom floor of a sinking wizards tower full of escaped experiments, or into the center of a city being overrun with RE style undead. Meanwhile the entire city, dungeon included, is actually stuck in a Groundhog Day style time loop with various important people in town retaining their memories and trying to exploit or fix the situation as per their temperament. Meanwhile none of them know, at least in the beginning, that the dungeon is retaining clues and the party can randomly find those clues in loot drops and on enemies to piece the whole thing together. The campaign would complete with either the loops ending, the party gaining control of the loops, or anything in-between.
Old good DnD first edition - everyone is a fighter, no limits, special proficency system ( a 'la 1/n-lvls, treated as prof. class-lvls as in Sword World). Magic for everyone, except every spells requires material component of min. worth of 5 gp in world where barter is commonplace and silver is treated as gold (ie. you're a noble to hold sp). Lvling up = milestones or similar, to keep sheets clean. Focused on RP and domain-play, can be with a lot of deadly fights (it's 0e, remember?) if someone so pleases. Island with proto-slavic noblemans/hosts on one side, tempelar-state with gothic town on other side and Monthy Python freelancing knights at the tip. 99% human, 0,8% halfling, 0,2% dwarves. Elven and dwarvish secret enclaves. Monsters of more indigenous slavic/celtic descent (a 'la animals, shapeshifters, scary humans or apes), mostly big animals being already abnormal and considered monstrous. Rest will keep to myself, but I know we'll have a blast! After I shape it out...
My campaign started with the players meeting in a prison. The Dragonborn Warlock Noble was picking the Half-Orc Fighter from the jail. The Fighter was/is a bodyguard for the warlock and removed a noble who was getting a bit confrontational at a party. Of course, the noble got uppity, and the fighter went to jail to appease them. It was only to prevent the noble from trying to cause more problems in retaliation. Basically a "Don't do it again, here's your paycheck, thank you, keep doing as you do." sort of thing. A "scolding" and a pat on the back for it. None of the other nobles there cared either. That particular noble was known to be fairly annoying, so most found that funny, secretly of course. Then there was the Goblin Ranger, who was captured after utilizing something which caused an explosion. Needless to say, they were jailed because of that.
One I've kinda been thinking about is inspired by a long running sub-plot of the show solar opposites, if you're familiar you probably know where I'm going, the wall. The wall is an antfarm like wall of numerous connected boxes with a single transparent side facing into the room of powerful alien children who built the wall. Inside are normal people who were abducted and shrunk by the alien children thrust into this strange environment where everyone fights either to survive or dominate. One of the more interesting aspects is the resources available to the tiny people, building houses, weapons and armour from toys, bathroom supplies and anything a kid would give them as well as food. For a long time most of the food they get is candy basically giving everyone diabetes and only a single faction has the ability to make insulin For d&d I'd probably have a mad wizard capturing people and need to figure out how magic changes things
From a necromancer who had already killed a PC who had been resurected. "Oh, how the mighty have fallen. That fireball didn’t just char your flesh; it seared away your will. Look at you now, a broken husk, perfect for my control. You’ve lost everything-your mind, your soul. Raising you will be a pleasure, but the true delight will be watching you slaughter your loved ones under my command. They’ll see the emptiness in your eyes and know true despair. Your destiny is mine now, and your friends' doom will come at your own hand."
11:00 is a reference to official ultrakill merch
Player here. So... in one of my campaigns, I wanted to roll to see if I could render an enemy unconscious by throwing a rock at him. Two nat20s later, the poor cleric is struck between the eyes with a rock about the size of my irl palm (about five or six inches long) and I successfully knocked him unconscious