Welcome to my channel, thank you for visiting. My channel exists to help adoptees of the future achieve greater levels of wellbeing, and to support adoptees and others in achieving wellbeing in their lives.
I am an adoptee, coach, psychotherapist, adoptee wellbeing researcher and wellbeing advocate. I have dealt with many issues related to low mood, anxiety and general struggles throughout my life as an adoptee and this led me to psychology, psychotherapy and wellbeing research both in the general population and adult adoptee population.
I am passionate about sharing the findings of the research, and reaching people who may be struggling to live with wellbeing, and those who will be key in shaping the wellbeing of adoptees.
I hope you find something here that resonates, warm wishes, Lara
Lara Leon MSc MBACP
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Hi Lara very moving and poignant story, very emotional and brave of you to share x Nick
Great story 😮
What an extremely beautiful lady you are 🙏❤️💕 thank you so much
Thank you very much ❤️ 😊
Thank you 😊
Thank you 😊
Lies upon lies upon lies
Too late damage done I'm DUNN
Absolutely. I waited over a month to be visied when i had my baby. They found it too difficult .
Thank you so much for sharing this story. It feels very healing to hear other adoption stories, i feel less alone ❤
Hi Lara, I wanted to email you, but couldn't find an address anywhere. I was wondering if you do online 1-1 sessions around adoption and the impact it has on relationships?
Love this.
Hello Lara, I'm adopted and also your age. I appreciate your work online as it has helped me so much. Please keep it up because I know how important your work is to so many people around the world. There's so little awareness about this topic x
Thank you! 🤩
Being adopted one naturally has the feeling of having been wronged, and just as in Barbara's story, it rarely occurs to anyone that we're due an apology but rather should be grateful for what others have done for us.
thank you for sharing ❤
Thank you so much Helens 💓 xx
i took notes on your other videos! so informative
Thankyou Lara ,and thankyou Helen ,you have really expressed your feelings and experience of adoption so well ,I can only imagine how hard this was for you ,as I have wanted to write my personal journey ,but still can't make a beginning . I just wanted to say how much I relate to all you have said ,and how hearing your words helps me and hopefully many other adoptees to realise we are not on our own . Your writing ended with a lot of positive and uplifting thoughts and ideas , I was so happy for you and wish you very well for the future. With best wishes ,Nick . ❤
Thanks you so much Lara and Helen ❤🎉 l could relate to your story. In that l was expelled, ran away a few times, fractured identity and the real need for freedom and peace. Your written is fabulous, giving vividly the memories and feelings. Whilst helping others. I wish you all the best. In positivity. Being your fabulous authentic self ✨️ 💕 Much love Christine xxx
Thank you Helen for sharing your story with us
Thank you for this story of yours Lara and for sharing it. I am very grateful and appreciative for all the outstanding work you do with your platforms, passing on your knowledge and experiences. Never let anything halt you in your quest. You are a hero to many communities and people! Love lasts longer than just a lifetime. Be happy and well!!
Thank you Seb for such kind words. I really appreciate your support of the channel.
Thank you for sharing something so deeply personal and intensely painful. Heartbreaking to hear and sadly not so uncommon for many adoptees with all those decades of longing and searching only to have such a devastating near miss of a reunion. But those years formed beautiful pearls of wisdom and inspired passion for change, which I and many others truly appreciate. Thanks again as this channel has helped me so much with my healing journey and continues to do so.
Thank you 🤗
@ Lara Leon. How brave of you to cast the rules aside and share the story of the search for your father. How sad that you were too late. I am scared to start the search but it never is far from my thoughts. I tell myself I am alright without that knowledge but know it is not true. What should I do? Kind regards, Anna Anderson. PS: I hope you found some peace in finding out his name 😢
Hi Anna. Thank you for your comments. In my experience the desire to find them never goes away no matter how many times we try to bury it. Sending warm wishes to you. 🤗
Thank you Lara for sharing this. It's beautifully written and deeply emotional. I have a very similar story, also went thru FM with a DNA search and missed my father by 3 months. It's devastating, isn't it? Love to you. X
Hi Nicola. Thank you so much. Yes it was very very hard. In itself difficult for some to understand but that was my experience. Sending warm wishes.
I so completely agree with everything you have said Lara ,I always felt guilty about not being closer and more loving towards my adopted parents and sister ❤
Sending warm wishes Nick
Thankyou Lara ,I am so sorry that you and so many other adoptees didn't get the opportunity to ever meet their mothers or fathers ,it all seems like yet another cruel and painful event in the life of the adoptee . I wanted to share my adoption experience and about my reunion with my mother ,but it is all so complicated and confusing I just couldn't do it . Due to the disturbing and unsettling affect finding my mother has had on me ,I have not tried to trace my father and know very little about him . I want to say how much I admire and feel for everyone that has shared their experience of adoption ,its a very painful and difficult thing to do,and I really do sincerely appreciate their bravery . I did listen to all of them ,and left comments to some of them . Some of them were just so painful to hear ,that I just couldn't find the words and was afraid to say anything that might sound trite or in any way insincere ,so to those I did not comment I apologise and am sorry . My sincere and best wishes to you Lara and all adoptees wherever in this world they may be ,Nick ❤️❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼
Thank you Nick
thank you so much, I can identify with such a lot of issues and do not feel so isolated with it all every time a hear another adoptee story, much love xxx
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I'm from Pakistan 🇵🇰
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Lara, thank you very much well, done. I am sorry for your loss 🕯xx I think in the Psychology and Psychotherapy world. Profesdional practice and my experience as a client boundaries, non-discosure, and being a rock. Like confidentiality is the cornor stone of ethics and codes of well establised (NHS) practice and rightly so. However, this is an unprecedented landscape. Which you have created ..you..from deep loss and grief have campaigned....a trail blazer and activist. I have some professional qualifications too. Bsc etc. Although, now, as a result of my adoption like many of us may end up with addiction and mental health challenges. Which l have. Now, l work as a peer support worker with lived mental health experience. Our unique solidarity, connection, hope, recovery....deep empathy. Collaboration...social rather than a medical model. Leads patients on the ward to share more with me. They trust me. The patient-wispera. They confide in me.. we co-create and co-produce a plan "together" . I support goals and aspirations. and empower them in their ward rounds. We are "EQUAL" Even the consultant has noticed. the difference. It's a very new nhs role. There was much trepidation. I disclose appropriate bits each day... calmly,..we hug. They can get well again with added art activities. So Lara.., you do great therapeutic work with us. Only not my contracted "Therapist". that's your day job. I see you as the perfect peer....teacher. In a leading role. Asking us to share our story....embodian.... ..fear, bravery, .trust, hope recovery. Means you can only but share. A thing l really wanted you to do. But l get the dilemma. Here we are, each others rock. A humanitarian approach. Which would jar with Profesdional norms. Thank heavens for that. Please don't worry about that. For me it makes our coming retreat even the more meaningful....the connections more deep. Only we know us. You set the new normal....a template to enrich our/clients/patients authentic lives. Bless you 💜🙏💐😢 ...... ☺️🎓📚💫✨️
Thank you so much Christine for your words 🤗
Thank you X
💕 💝
Thank you 🤩
🙏❤🌞Thank you very much Christine. You are amazing. You are a hero and a great example of resilience, intelligence, as well as compassionate courage + strength. Be happy and healthy my friend and enjoy every day! Be proud of who you are and never look down on yourself. I cannot fathom your complete journey, but parts I think I recognise from myself and I know you are a beacon of light, hope and positivity for others!
A very moving story...
Dear Lara , I just wanted to say how important and needed all the work you are doing for adoptees truly is,I think you're doing a remarkable thing and am certain it will be making a big difference to so many of us adoptees .I am so glad this hugely ignored and unexplored conversation is now beginning to open up ,it is so validating and helpful for all of us. It still feels like early days,but I've no doubt this whole conversation will grow and gain more momentum . I think most of us have had to wait and suffer, alone and at times confused by our feelings , without anyone who understands what being adopted means ,to confide in and hear our story. To separate a baby from its mother after days or weeks could only ever be deeply traumatising and terrifying,it could never be anything else . Special thanks to all the people for sharing their experiences ,and hoping , wishing for a greater understanding for all adopted people . With my sincere and best wishes Nick❤
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this. It’s very much appreciated and makes it all worthwhile to know it’s of value and helping. Sending warm thoughts Nick.
Thankyou Lara ,and Thankyou Helen for sharing your experience around adoption ,all of our stories are different ,but we all share the pain and difficulties that come with being adopted. Wishing you well for the future ,from Nick .
Hi Lara do you know of any info where I can look up how attachments are affected when children are raised with separated parenting? Thanks Nick.
Thanks for listening ❤ xx
Thankyou Lara and thankyou Christine for sharing your early life experience . I sincerely wish you well and firmly believe that with the right support ,things can be greatly improved for you .What you have already achieved in occupation is truly remarkable . Very best wishes for your future from Nick ( fellow adoptee ,62 ,still struggling along and trying to make improvements) 🌷🙏🏼
Thank you Nick
Great advice
Just a difficult story , thank you for sharing Christine ❤ so brave x
Thank you for sharing your story with us.
My thanks to you for reading my beautiful special son Sebastian’s words. It’s hard to listen to his words but also this helps me understand why my son has suffered so much and is still suffering. My guilt and sadness is beyond words but I until I die I will keep trying to help and care for him no matter what. To have Seb as my son in my life has been one of the best things ever. I love my son and I’m so proud of how far he has come, keep going you are an amazing human being I love you x
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My style is 180 degrees opposite to my parents( spit)
My experience is I have to imprint on them or be rejected. The biological daughter and mother are cliquey, like mean girls at school.
Met my wife at 19 straight after disembarking from falklands war, I was complete virgin , not even a kiss , Cut a long story short she pursued me relentlessly, I was hard work , got together , told her very early “I will never cheat on you , never hit you , if you want me to never lie , don’t ask about my past , cos I will lie to you “ she asked one more time months later , got same answer . She knows nothing of my past , no one does except what she gleaned from nightmares and occasional freak outs , Untill that day in 2015 when my daughter 15 did dna test and got 27 matches from USA . I ran , . never been back . Don’t know what they know now, I have different ,age , 1 year out from reality , different name , birthday , birth certificate, far as I’m concerned I’m Yorkshire born and bred , same as false id I took in 1980. Thanks for your videos , I am using them to fix myself
Hi Shaun. Glad to hear the videos help. Takes courage to admit that. ☀️
@@user-jh8sm2ph5e yes , up till 5 we lived in , if my memory is correct “huntsville , hazel green “ , I was 5 so can’t be certain , my siblings went south , don’t know where , I was taken north into Tennessee, do t know why , cos I was mad with everybody I gave wrong name in the hospital , looking back that’s where problem got much worse and fast. Was in orphanage 2 years , then was adopted very quick notice by US service man and his English rose wife , in 24 hours was on my way with them, in car they made great pains to me that “ this is old you @ as they ripped up my file and chucked it out of window, then they had conversation about dad stealing adoption papers, that was then ripped up and chucked out of the window. 36 hours later was in US airforce base in Oxfordshire England ,I was made to repeat my new name and date of birth over and over. To cut it short , life was good never met any of their families or friends, just us 3 , 4 years later dad died KIA somewhere ?, don’t think he was regular soldier, spook I guess , Mum said I had to stay on base while she went to USA to bury him , she left with one of her many lovers , never came back . Was sat in corridors out side offices trying to understand whispering inside , could never understand legalities if it all but I was to be put In Oxford’s care system ?????, well I ran took em 4 days to find me hidden on base . Dad taught me well. 2 MP ‘ s wouldn’t let them take me out till directly ordered to , they both saluted me as I was driven out of base in British police car with social worker and 2 cops . Boy did thinks go down hill fast after that . Apparently I only had a British passport, every one was suspicious was questioned over and over about who I was I just repeated what dad drilled into me . Asked one day at 14 what would make me happier, I said name change by deed poll.that happened . At 16 in care home had only one friend it was 78-79 we both planned to join army went through procedures, he was accepted I wasn’t , some problem with my identity, I wasn’t citizen. Over heard conversation between social workers and army , they wanted me real bad cos orphans make best soldiers , and I already knew so much about army life , but it wasn’t to be . I heard that at 16 I was out , no help , no job no insurance number, no benefits . Then luck came in bad good who knows While out one day my friend and I got into fight on visit to london( unauthorised) , he bled out in my lap days before he was to leave care and join British army , this is day I was damaged beyond repair. Was questioned by cops told lies in statement , they knew! Revenge would be mine only. Over a few days I secretly entered office and mixed our files , half mine half his ( thanks adoptive dad ), destroyed what I didn’t need , used rest to be him , walked out on that Saturday as him and joined army , never said goodbye except Tilly ( bless her) . For 2 years I was him in boys army in york , left that and joined paras , changed my name by deed poll again , Came back from falklands and met who was to become my wife , first and only woman in my life , married in late 80’s I took her surname , very rare in those days , finger getting tired now , gotta go , need to earn money as Uber driver
Thank you, Laura and Tobias, for sharing ❤️ your story from Germany. This, for me, highlights the universality of sharing these very human experiences ... danka...
Thank you Toby for sharing your story with us.
Thank you for sharing … ❤ fellow adoptee
Thankyou Lara and Thankyou Tobias for sharing your adoption experience . I wish you well for the future , from Nick , fellow adoptee in the UK .