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OP should have given an ultimatum first before giving it away
Liked the update. Glad she was finally putting in some work on their relationship. If not for the kids. I would tell the guy just to leave, but if they can work something out great. If she back slides dude need to be ready to leave right away. Wife needs to know she has used up all her second chances.
This is weird, a happy Reddit story. I have expect angry step mother and golden child sibling to show up and ruin it all. The guy sounds like a very nice person, I am happy for him
Congrats on OP getting the closure without risking exposure. As for the family, I would get a lawyer and have a C&D sent out, pointing the legal and psychological nonos they are doing. Including a mention that the uncle can be sued for 25 years of alienation of affection for not telling his AP sooner.
In this case, I can understand the friend's insecurity. Something horribly traumatic happened to her, she had a hard time trusting people but finally found someone she felt safe with. And just as she started to feel hope return, she finds out that there is a risk (amplified in her mind) of Sarah's struggles comming to light among her friends and all her worse nightmares coming true. That is a lot of damage to deal with
It wasn't clear...
I will say that you should hace called off the wedding when you found out and foot your brother, Emily, and your fiancée with the bill. However, you aren't wrong to call off the wedding or to clarify why you did so.
You are getting into old stories. Still don't think OP did anything wrong.
Putting him in a spot where he felt like he had to do something he didn't want to do messed him up. He's an a hole for letting that mess him up, but it's what happened and it's good she got away once he turned like that.
How does one cheats not with one, but with two people "by mistake" exactly?
Husband aka last option
streets. ( u can figure out the meaning)
Adults communicating. Imagine that...
Dude, Emily has fooled _three people_ into thinking they’re OTP with her. She’s absolute garbage.
OP is a shit friend. This is the perfect example of how people say men are mean to each other and don't mean it and women are nice to each other and don't mean it. OP started her post off by saying Susan is like a sister to her but as soon as OP is required to make a sacrifice for her "sister" to help her heal from what I'm assuming is a SA, 'Nah I like how this man blows my back out so get fucked lmao'. Sheesh if that's how she treats her "sister" I'd hate to see how she treats her enemies.
NTA... They're changing Tactics to get the drop on op... if im op I would not go... closure is often more disappointing then you think.. Update : yeah I told you.. they're both 2 just awful people... Adam is garbage but that's not saying something... so the " mom" has an affair has a child that she and her cuck of a husband both can hate on now they want to " beg" for forgiveness because op hates them both yeah they both need to eat a 5 year old expired burger..
It’s a tough situation, but if a donut was the breaking point, it seems like deeper issues were at play. Sometimes small events can highlight bigger underlying problems in a relationship.
I have to say, go step on legos is a great saying cause there’s nothing more painful than stepping on legos
"Go step on legos" "Chicken nuggets for brains" God, I love this OP xD And, NTA, BTW. When people ask something of you, you just ask "What's in it for me?" Does forgiving them will do something to erase all the years of mistreatment or something? I don't think so.
NTA and this goes beyond what OP said. The friend harassing her therapist (OP's BF) has already sent down the drain their professional relationship. What she's doing now is both sad and creepy.
From what I’m told is that therapists tell people that frequent same locations to not approach them during their off hours. If that is true, then this therapist messed up, this relationship will likely cause his patient to isolate from her friend, make it awkward for her (even if he drops her as a patient)
What a spineless father for staying with a cheater. And the mother for being a cheater and mistreating her daughter even though it was all hee fault
Withholding sex in a marriage is manipulative and wrong. Next Monday comes around and you have work, tell her “ not today, I have a headache “
*Where's The Video With The Rest Of The Updates!*
NTA. If you truly think you have a future with him and he could be your future husband, that’s your literal future. Your friend is unhinged and when she hits rock bottom maybe she will be willing to try again
Anybody else feel like the friend had some fantasies of her own regarding the therapist, and when OP got together with him, those hopes all went up in smoke?
Yeah... I got that feeling too
Might be, but there's one thing that stuck out: OP said Sarah took a while to find a therapist she can trust. If this is the case, then it is very possible that she feels that security start to crumble and be replaced by insecurity... fearing that her therapist will pull a Dr. Phil and use Sarah's case as pillow talk with OP, who will use it as gossip to all Sarah's friends.
My first thought too
OP ITA, she traded her friends sanity and stability just so she can get clapped up by the therapist. Once she saw her friend getting worse she should've stopped.
No. Her friend made up bullshit and then refused to see another therapist. All signs point that she had feeling for him and was only getting better to try to get in the sack with him.
BS the friend could never get that professional relationship with the therapist again after she threatened his work and it's not OP's fault. It was just unfortunate and everyone just needs someone to blame.
Therapist bf released her as his client because he didn't feel comfortable with her. Friend comes off rather... possessive, ngl. I get being concerned about HIPAA and all that (I to do insurance for Medicare and Medicaid beneficiaries), but if she's worried he'll share her info, why does she want to see him to begin with? Let alone _continue_ seeing him? I get that it'd be awkward to see the guy in non-professional settings with her friend, but... yikes. Ngl, I'm concerned that she wants this dude for herself. Wouldn't be the first time it's happened. That's why there are rules about such things.
The therapist relationship was over the moment she threatened to report her therapist and he dumped her as a patient. Why should OP break up with the therapist is there is no potential benefit for the friend?
You can't unhear secrets and trauma.
If she feared him telling her things and violation hippa she shouldn't be using him to begin with All signs point that the friend wanted him and she's jealous
*Where's The Video With The Updates!*
Lmao, even if OP and the therapist broke it off now, I doubt he would take her back due to Susan having invaded his private life (which is more likely a violation between therapist and patient than what Susan accused them of) So Susan’s super duper therapist is already gone…is anyone else from the friend group going to drag Susan‘s lower backside to any of the recommended other therapists? No? Thought so 😂 crabs in a bucket, that friend group
There is no answer, Imo. Op didn't do on purpose and even tho the therapist is imp to the friend finding love is hard af.
Wow what a crappy friend
While OP could have handled it in a more delicate way, she made sure the undeniable facts got out there before the truth could be twisted. Smart move, since everyone knows what kind of people the sister and fiance are now.
OP's rationale vs reality: My dad was very controlling --> So I have to act like a doormat We never had a big fight, and we always talk things out --> The wife always gets her way My wife's best friend is gay, and I'm sure nothing ever happened between them --> She got railed three times a day while he was at work.
You said she's like your sister right?
Clearly not
This is exactly why it's called an emotional affair. Just because nothing physical is going to happen with Chuck does not mean that the wife is not pining for him. If Chuck needs something, or the wife even thinks that he does, she will continue to put him first. The fact that she forgot about a date that was planned, and then treated it as if it was not a big deal is undeniable evidence that she believes Chuck to be her main priority.
I think the OP should’ve just canceled the wedding. Not doing the dramatic scene at the wedding so yeah in this case, I think he is partially the a…
This story made zero sense. But yeah she’s cheating.
You could have broken it off sooner, but so what? She cheated on you, and with your own brother too, as well as with her "friend". She deserves what she gets.
The only triggering aspect of this post is that he actually hesitated to leave. Calling the relationship "perfect" strongly suggested an overtly self-sacrificing and emotionally codependent relationship to a destructively toxic degree. He literally regained his free will by leaving.
Based on what I'm reading the OP is the jerk. Your daughter asked you to walk her down the aisle; not begrudgingly, not as a bribe to get money, not as a last resort, she wanted her dad to give her away. If this were about the ex wife I'd be more sympathetic towards the OP but his daughter didn't chest on him, her only crime is not hating her step dad or making his life miserable. Maybe he is a good step-dad, that doesn't mean she's "picked" him over you. Nothing here indicates she treated you less than or "blamed" you, you're just mad she's not hating on her step dad. To me the real victim of this affair/divorce was the daughter, because her mother cheated/tore her family in half, and her father is ready to all but denounce her as his daughter ("never really felt like her father"?) Whose fault is that? Not hers, it's your job to step up and be a father to her regardless of your marriage, but because you're hurt and angry about the divorce, you want to downplay that relationship, including yours with your daughter. I can appreciate the ex wife is the real bad guy here, but it takes a special jerk to dismiss his own daughter like that.
He definitely should have handled it better before it ever even got into the altar part. But once a cheater, always a cheater. If you ever give a cheater chance, you need to make sure they WORK FOR IT HARD and not just forgive. If you forgive them without them having to do anything, they end up learning nothing, but if they need to work for forgiveness for year or few, then it teaches em something. Either they learn that cheating is bad, or they learn not to get caught better.
I mean, should've handled it differently tbh. I think calling off the wedding earlier would've been a better move. I get it though, OP was in shock and handled things on auto-pilot. NTA overall.
If your fiancée can’t even make it to being your wife before she cheats how would she ever go a marriage without cheating?
Love this😂 lets not forget the best friends literally said they've been hooking up for a long time so she was definitely not loyal since day 1.
Obviously her parents side with her. .. No wonder she turned out like that
Wtf, she's not for the streets, she's the streets.
I hate that these people don't give themselves any grace. Sending a picture of your SO cheating with your sister to the family chat at the moment when you just discovered it happening may not be optimal, but it certainly isn't "wrong". Expecting optimal behavior from somebody who has just suffered a terrible trauma is completely unreasonable.
I definitely think it's "wrong" in the objective sense. If you remove the emotions from what happened, sending pictures of two nude people engaging in sexual activity to anyone without their consent is wrong, regardless of how emotional anyone may be feeling in the moment. Subjectively though, what op did could just be written off as karma for what the sister and fiance did. That was absolute betrayal on their part, and it could certainly be argued that they deserved what she did. But yeah, no, you can't really just go around sending pictures of your fiance and sister having sex to your family group chat.
@@haikyuuhanni If you take the time to think about it, it is wrong. If its your immediate reaction to communicating what happened to your family as you disappear, its somebody trying to survive a trauma.
@@aum1040 I don't get that last part "it's somebody trying to survive trauma"
Sister had her trauma, but since she caused trauma to OP, I figure they at least get equal forgiveness, if not more on OP's side, since sis was the cause of the trauma while OP wasn't the cause of sister's.
so this was a guy doing to a woman what woman have been doing to men forever
She’s having an affair.