My name is Tori Olds, PhD and I am a psychologist living in Austin TX. What I'd really like you to know is that I LOVE learning about the mind. I also love learning how to help others have a more compassionate understanding of themselves. Whatever the format--whether crafting educational videos for KZread, or writing and recording music--I want to do my part in this conversation around being human. And I'd love you to join my community of curious-minded folks as we explore being human together!
JOIN US on PATREON: patreon.com/toriolds
LIVE TRAINING with Tori: I offer a core 6-month training in experiential therapy called "Minding the Heart." toriolds.com/training-group/.
ONLINE TRAININGS: I have a number of online video courses (APA accredited for CEU's, including ethics) toriolds.com/ceus-for-therapists/
Please note that I sometimes post links resources that I have found helpful as a therapist. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
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I passed due to chatgpt, now I'm here trying to actually learn.. I'm fucking cooked-
Just so wonderfully done!
I was thinking at first that I was never really allowed to be a child since I was always walking on eggshells around my mother in her household, and that I was probably more responsible when I was a teenager than in all the "adult" years since that I've been on my own in the world. But then when you talked about different learned ways of being, I remembered that after my parents divorced when I was 6, I did some silly stuff when I was at my dad's house on the weekends and summers, and I was really allowed to loosen up and felt safe in his presence to do so in a way I never felt with my mom.
We are so proud of you! Your parents and partner are so proud of you! Your kids are going to be amazing! We all wish you could be our therapist! Thank you so very much, deeply!
I'm in awe of how well you explained this! Thank you
Are you familiar with the work of Eugene Gendlin? He and his colleague had discovered essentially the same thing by analyzing the work of many psychotherapists. I wonder if they did it before Bruce Ecker did. The process he developed is called Focusing. Here's an excerpt from Wikipedia: "Focusing is an internally oriented psychotherapeutic process developed by psychotherapist Eugene Gendlin. It can be used in any kind of therapeutic situation, including peer-to-peer sessions. It involves holding a specific kind of open, non-judging attention to an internal knowing which is experienced but is not yet in words. Focusing can, among other things, be used to become clear on what one feels or wants, to obtain new insights about one's situation, and to stimulate change or healing of the situation.[1] Focusing is set apart from other methods of inner awareness by three qualities: something called the "felt sense", a quality of engaged accepting attention, and a researched-based technique that facilitates change."
you're amazing
23:03 Bruce mentioned the word metacognitive. This brings a thought about "Metacognitive Therapy".
Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience. My personal therapist recommended Richard Schwartz and after a couple videos I found your series of IFS. I found your explanation very compassionate and clear and I was able to connect with it. I'm currently on video 4 and I feel overwhelming sadness listening to this video because much of what you have said has triggered my overwhelming sadness in the wounded part of me :( I now understand that it's only a part of me and its not my whole self and it gives me hope to unblend and heal my exiles and protectors. I was able to listen to the part of me and give space to express itself and now I feel more clear on how it's feeling and why. My protector was to hide how I was feeling, not to feel the sadness at all, push it away because of the fear of being alone with those strong feelings, and then the feelings of shame will follow. I now feel more courageous for when the wounded part of me triggers again to explore some more. This is why I say thank you. I start a 3 year BSC degree in Counselling and Physcotherapy in September and I will follow your work. I hope you find what you're looking for with this channel, it's fantastic work.
There's "Schema Therapy". How does it compare to Coherence Therapy?
I'm a new therapist and your video simplified what I've been reading ~ Thank you!
The "dropping IQ" part literally got MY JAW ON THE FLOOR. Like what... it was not just a feeling of "being dumber" around my dad, my brain just protected me by conditioning itself?? Thank you and bless you for this video
Your voice is so calming, what I'm going through and what I have ins through I'm very damaged more than I ever been. I appreciate thus video! Thank you!
Thank you so much
I have 8000 hours of experience, and doubt myself every day...
You are such a skilled teacher. Thank you for this! I am just getting started with IFS in couples counseling and your video is extremely informative for a beginner.
Thank you so much for this video series! I recently developed an interest in trying internal family systems for healing, and your videos were excellent in explaining it all and helping me begin to understand myself better.
Excellent! 🙏🏻
I had to pause at 4:14 cause that was such a gut punch to my inner child. That "part" of me; the little girl who is so scared and alone, needs just as much attention and care today as she did in 1987. OK aaaand hitting play...😊
Hi Tori, are you there? I have a question
This is lovely🙏thank you💟
Very helpful! Your ongoing growth and wide interest areas inclusion, is inspiring! Thank you! -dan
Your mother must be so very proud of you. Great video!
I see that you’re also making a connection with the old child/parent/adult model of transactional analysis. Often these protective parts develop in early childhood. They can also develop in the teens and during adulthood. When developed during adulthood they would be adults. Then they are the age they were at inception. I think of teen survivors of incest, women survivors of DV, survivors of war, and soldiers after deployment.
True self is an illusion from the ego. We are a product of many parts and the world around us. Happy people don't ever question who they are, losing that question is a better goal than trying to solve it I think 😊❤
Parts once healed become resources.
I just want to point out that Richard Schwartz comes at IFS from a far more spiritual angle, whereas Dr. Olds comes from a more neuropsychology and logical angle. I would say that Schwartz speaks more to the suffering client, and dr. Olds gives a more clear overiew. Both are extremely valuable, though I think it's best to first listen to Richard if you want to really be drawn into IFS with your whole soul!
What a treat this video is. ♥️
I'm confused. When I think of the actual traumatic memory, I can't actually get a felt sense. It's cognitive. So I'm not sure how to reconsolidate the memory. I get the felt sense of the memory during specific moments, when I'm going through a depressive episode, I'm stressed, things are going wrong, and the negative beliefs about myself surface. THEN it is felt, along with the corresponding schema and beliefs about myself. So what do I do when that happens?
Dr. Tori, I feel you've given me hope and faith in helping myself heal! Thank you 🌺🌹🌻
Thanks for this sries videos i like to learn how is work in child Hood,plase ❤
You explain this better than the PESI course I bought!
IFS is an imaginal approach, which means you need to have an active imagination that can successfully connect to implicit emotional memories for it to work.
You’re amazing and changing the trajectory of my life with these videos !
As a new therapist, the way you explained this gives me hope for myself and my clients. Now I feel I need a therapist.
Te amo!!!
I just saw this video. I’ve watched it twice. I am a 45 year old man that has felt inner shame and self hatred for so many years. I’ve had ( as I’m sure all of us have.) A difficult go at life. For the first time ever, I have an extremely loving and gentle girlfriend that loves me , in spite of all of my faults and I have never felt happier. But my inner demons still won’t let up and if I don’t finally get the help I’ve been seeking for all this time, this happiness I’ve been so blessed to have , could be in danger. Seeing this video and how she describes shame’s ( possible) origins beginning in early childhood makes sense and I wish to God that I could have had this insight as a younger person!! Turns out, I had to slug it out till I was older,, damn! I was in and out of therapy as a teenager and am still. I have never heard anything that remotely made sense or that has resonated with me like this video has! All these years speaking with one therapist then another and yet another! This is my core issue, shame. She hasn’t cured me of course but, I am great full that I found this. I’ve never understood how people get to be happy or love themselves. I honestly don’t know what that is but I want to find out! Men ( at least of my generation) weren’t aloud to feel pain, cry or say “ it hurts.” I was because I was such a sickly kid and I have a beautiful and loving mother. However, she was a single mom with three kids and did the best she could, and she did beautifully. Sometimes parents who were abused as children and the grew up and had babies with men who abused them, have their own sad coping mechanisms. I’m not sure what my mothers were but for as long as I can remember, I have been absolutely-terrified-of hurting people’s feelings especially my mothers. When I see other people hurting,, i sincerely feel hurt and feel extreme hatred and anger towards those who hurt them! Why do I feel shame so much,,, I dunno 🤷 but, I have a feeling that’s what this nice woman is talking about has opened a door that I’ve been pounding and kicking at for -years!! THANK YOU!!❤😅 For anyone out there who may be like me or can relate ( no matter your age or whatever) stay strong and do what I have done, seek answers and fight for yourself to have a life that is worth living because you deserve it!! ❤✌️👍
Though I'm not doing IFS but schema therapy, this video series was very helpful. You explained it beautifully and the video editing was very helpful too. Thank you very much!!
Grateful for sharing your beautiful wisdom 🧡🧘🏼♀️🙏
Thank you so much for those videos. It helped me to understand myself better and heal. Really appreciated!