Hahah, "Hey, do you want to learn how to knit?" So funny but also a great example.
@gustgin-livingmy360degreel9Ай бұрын
I'm sharing this video with my daughter and hubby. Thank you so much!!
@user-jr6ez2gl3mАй бұрын
School is out holiday start
@katyasaniwellАй бұрын
My undiagnosed Asperger husband simply has no time for a shower and ranks it as an unnecessary task.
@levans8462 ай бұрын
Also hard when you’ve been blindsided by trauma, devastating events that you didn’t see coming that had profound, long-lasting, negative effects on your life. Hypervigilance develops as a safety mechanism, albeit one gone wrong. Makes reframing a lot more difficult.
@brendawallace40682 ай бұрын
This is amazing. I thank you. Will watch a video every day. Sensory help needed.
@terraverlage68343 ай бұрын
Not going to work an hour case unfortunately as a lack of sleep triggers his colonic tonic seizures which are very violent and dangerous. His neurologist indicated that sleep deprivation is the number one trigger and we have seen some serious fallout as a result of that.
@nooklover703 ай бұрын
That doesn't work
@nooklover703 ай бұрын
I have a nintendo switch
@terraverlage68343 ай бұрын
As a parent and as an individual who has an autistic young adult son and who herself is autistic.. (I am referring to Asperger's in both cases)... I would like to recommend two books that I wished I had had years ago. One is by Sorensen and is called "I hear you." It's a small book and probably one of the most powerful books I've ever read. It was on the New York Times bestsellers list for weeks. Written by a layman in very easy to understand language on how to make another individual feel heard, accepted understood & loved.... Super easy to do... Just needs practice.. the other one is perhaps a nice accompaniment . It Is by a psychologist named Barbara Krovitz-Neren ...and it is called "Parenting the Addicted Teen".... In this book she does something pretty neat..... she interviews a ton of teens and young adults about what it is that they NEED... It's one of those books that you want to keep reading over and over or better yet..... listening to❗ The book is also available on audible.ca in which case you can easily listen to it repeatedly while driving the car, walking the dog, etc. It's invaluable. Why am I recommending these books? Because I believe that they are a powerful team in that.... many times individuals who are on the spectrum (Asperger's) are very vulnerable to addiction including "behavioral" addictions such as compulsive video gaming, surfing the net... Which can bleed their lives dry... these two books.... I believe..... are wonderful & powerful resources for parents.
@Daimo834 ай бұрын
expert vs loud ranting man
@MichaelaJungheim4 ай бұрын
This makes soooo much sense!!!!! The outside world is packed full of stress-inducing demands and honestly, if I could isekai into a video game world of my choice, I would. I would isekai into Sky: Children of the Light and just be a kid, fly around, wear pretty capes, play music, and ACTUALLY make a bunch of friends. If only I actually knew I was neurodivergent before going to college and crashing and burning. And my life is still burning and engaging in games or other interests like creative writing is my only safe place. When I have to think of reasons to keep on living, it’s writing, as well as video games I haven’t played or future seasons of shows I love. It all comes down to epic fantasy worlds and the stories that happen in them. That’s why I keep living.
@tyronephipps77595 ай бұрын
I have someone now in my life with this issue, my wife and I are old school suck it up drive on type, but we want to be a help and blessing to this person and help them know they are unconditionaly love by us. What’s the best videos to help us understand and be a help?
@thexpax7 ай бұрын
the commercial said: "You never have to be alone raising a kid with aspergers." well my parent was all alone she knew i was different she took me to two psychologists, but not wanting to be diagnosed more "wrong" than i knew i was (with my fat iq) i wrapped both psychs around my finger to make them report "he's perfectly normal" so she obviously resigned herself to giving me free reign over myself --- in aspie things especially --- she gave me full autonomy over myself to be a stupid undiagnosed asperger to never get life and so ruin it for myself with literally no life coaching at all (or any friend, i'm too weird for non-aspies) though i do not blame her as she supported my flailing one hundred percent i would love to be able to ask my late parent now: "why did you not teach me life?"
@thexpax7 ай бұрын
This was my best vid thus far. My parent I see smothered me, insulated me from real life. I was agreeable as an undiagnosed asperger not able to understand or function with non-aspies and non-aspie society. She raised me wrong, but to what somehow I displayed I needed --- knowing myself different while completely not knowing or having guidance on how to live. I expressed I was depressed as a kid, but to "he'll get over it." I never did. I worked, but too little for depression (clinical depression, I was a work-a-holic untapped). Now, with these vid offerings I can see I will retire a complete failure in life. Why did I not at least find AE in 2010 not 2023...
@thexpax7 ай бұрын
sìnce cursed 2020, why is AEE no longer in operation, function, helping ? autistics can also greatly benefit from all this rare information and help the courses i do not dare to buy for worry that there is no longer the organization there to phhysically receive course material from that fear amoong the general public is no doubt killing course sales and wow, would i buy your course on making friends even with food noney out of truly life or death necessity ! 🧡
@thexpax7 ай бұрын
where did AE go, please ! ! ! ! ? ? ? ?
@thexpax7 ай бұрын
AE works from the inside out not outside in ! wow !
@thexpax7 ай бұрын
these people are geniuses !
@thexpax7 ай бұрын
"it is all happening right now" not time oriented in defense mode where else in the world woulld we even hear 💚 this ?
@thexpax7 ай бұрын
we are in reaction mode all the time... yes ! especially while so often masking
@thexpax7 ай бұрын
this vid is underrated you all give invalùablle tidbits i really wish AE was still in operation
@thexpax7 ай бұрын
"don't judge me by my messy apartment" -- neeurotypical we are simply observing realities but i have an expanded saying: "truth is often stranger than fiction, and often less acceptable" -- an aspie truth
@abbychadwick95058 ай бұрын
Danny or any of the female experts. How do you get out of defense mode with high hormones?
@jairgilmore77478 ай бұрын
I may not be doing it on the outside but inner me is crying bc of how relatable this is to me. This is soo true.
@The_Moth18 ай бұрын
Let’s talk about curing autism. Step 1: Don’t.
@holzmann-10 ай бұрын
I have Asperger's and now longer play
@shanes.622710 ай бұрын
Yeah. the #1 thing. parents get involved in what ur kids like . espically autism we cant make friends
@holzmann-10 ай бұрын
I wouldnt bu ymy kids video games
@timmyturner749411 ай бұрын
I need to learn about “defense mode” but that immediately made sense to me as someone at the beginning of this journey @ 35. Thank you!
@zenon777411 ай бұрын
Citalopram has helped me alot with feeling on edge. It's a form of celexa
@dstuart2918 Жыл бұрын
no such thing as Aspergers anymore. Your mom is borderline abusive--so rude and accusatory
@Countcho Жыл бұрын
Explained well.
@Marauder1981 Жыл бұрын
I play them in order to break them. I have the most fun tryying to break a game. I guess it´s called play testing but back in my day it was called phreaking. It´s when you try to find the weakpoints in a system in order to get the goodies the system hides. When I was 12 I was phreaking/hacking food dispensers or laser barriers in my local university to pass doors. I think its often more fun than using the system the way it was intended. And no, I´m not a cheater. Cheating is not very elegant.
@rallyfan1013 Жыл бұрын
I wish Autists would play less video games and do more something that's creative. Like, learning an instrument. Video game addiction distracted me from learning the guitar. I think I can still learn it with a teacher - costs money tho - but it's really destructive. There is a fascist power in video games.
@shanes.622710 ай бұрын
fascist 😂 thats a new one. woke bs
@holzmann-10 ай бұрын
@@shanes.6227 So not gaming makes you woke?
@thisisme9898 Жыл бұрын
I sadly still struggle with this as a 25 year old, mostly because I haven't evolved from being defensive. And it's very hard for me because I feel the need to be defensive in order to survive or somehow move forward from a very uncomfortable moment in time. Or to even get through a situation during the day. And considering my sexual preference, and years of bullying and verbal harassment, I still let it affect something happening currently because my mind compares similar triggering situations.
@roxanneroehl5392 Жыл бұрын
Will this help someone who exhibits many of these characteristics and has self diagnosed as Adult ADHD female...at 39 years old. Worked and had social life but covid pandemic has thrown her into being just as you describe Asperger.
@blueblousedesigns Жыл бұрын
To me, when I was a kid, homework was always a struggle, because I'd rather watch TV, play with my toys, or make up stories to write, featuring my toys. My fourth grade math teacher even made a word problem about the astonishing amount of TV I would watch. My fourth grade science teacher would yell at me for not doing my homework. She even had the nerve to tell my mom to lock up the TV and my toys until I was done with my homework. That lasted all of two days, until a family friend unlocked my Barbie dolls and let me play with them while I did my homework.
@ghaataksur Жыл бұрын
Your face reminds of FLUME, you look like him! who's also one of my favorite artists
@CNI2063 Жыл бұрын
He was trying to enable minimization of progress.
@hogg1media627 Жыл бұрын
The complex part is, the person with aspergers doesnt have the wisdom to function or to maintain logical common sense. "LISTEN TO LISTEN" whats the point? we listen to help, we listen to understand in order to find solutions. A parent of a Asperger child/young adult is similar to a parent of a non-autistic child. They both want the best. So to allow a person with Aspergers to just be is waiting for a car to crash. Ive been living with a person with aspergers (Young adult) and he is determined to do things his way and of course, his parents did what most parents do is they just let them do what they want to do allday like gaming since a child, Beccuase, its their "SAFE PLACE" and thats not reality. If that ideology was ok, then all mental institutions should free the patients and let them be and people who dont have ASD will just have to move aside and let people who cant guide themselves just be. I think they have to learn how to do things that are not in their safe place at times because thats how the real world turns. Some of us non-ASD people have been forced to see and experience things that was not in our safe place. The world is NOT ALWAYS A SAFE PLACE. I watch aot of video to find solutions and most of the video i see a very soft approach to this when i think it needs firmness. Playing along with a person witrh dementia is horrible. The healthy thing to do is let them know the facts in which they exist. *example Thank you for this video!
@loriclark505 Жыл бұрын
I'm just trying to stay alive
@loriclark505 Жыл бұрын
Help
@sarahrogers1605 Жыл бұрын
If screens didn't exist, neither would these disorders
@rallyfan1013 Жыл бұрын
Sadly you are right.
@ericah6546 Жыл бұрын
Another thing, video games get blamed for us "always doing something else" or "avoiding "reality" (AKA social interactions,") but in reality if we weren't playing them we would probably be doing something else that is " in our own world," etc. That's how I'm wired. I like to be involved in my own thing and usually others aren't interested in it, they would rather socialize. It's not the video games causing this, it's just autism.
@rallyfan1013 Жыл бұрын
Exactly. Likewise, guns cannot be blamed either for bad things that happen
@ericah6546 Жыл бұрын
I find them soothing. Some of them seem to release dopamine for me like social media does for nts. I don't see it as a bad thing- just that there is a place and time for everything and to not do them all day. He is so right: when life feels safe (mine has been becoming more so) then video games help with living my full potential outside of them. Self-esteem, mental simulation and exercise for the brain, and a healthy replacement for, say, alcohol or self harm resulting from stress. They are more akin to music to me than an "addiction." Music is also relaxing: soothing. He makes such great points. Really like everything he said. It's important for both children and adults to make sure we're getting enough sleep, exercise, and healthy nutrition as well as time away from the screen. I definitely think it's good to put them down for at least an hour before falling asleep. My thinking is clearer and my thoughts more original and creative after taking a break from any screen. But just like he said, video games can be an enhancement for us and actually engage our production in life outside of them. They can provide a means to having friendships for us, which is so important for kids and teens. I think Temple Grandin has a less favorable opinion of gaming because of the time in which she grew up. But they are not the be all end all... They are something enjoyable and healthy in moderation. Edit: And I love them! Been playing phone games lately. About to buy a new Playstation 🤩
@lindadunn8787 Жыл бұрын
Thank you. I can't listen to this message too many times. Helpful is an understatement of ridiculous proportion.
@nnylasoR Жыл бұрын
“You are creative, resourceful, and whole” FLOORED me… literally. I dropped to my knees, crying, thanking the Lord yet again that I am *seen*… not only by Him, but by the neurodivergent community.🥺 1. I excel at thinking outside of boxes, and love nearly every form of art (*except* rigid crafting kits 😂) 2. Being recognized as “resourceful” has always been one of theeee greatest compliments of my life. 3. I’ve only recently remembered my WORTH. I am not a flawed and broken piece of [poop], and I am not someone who is deeply lacking and needs to be “fixed.” ✊♥️ **I discovered Asperger Experts yesterday thanks to a FB recommendation, and I’m quite pleased I requested some info, as well as looking up AE here on KZread. Thank you so, so much. 🙋🏻♀️
@Jennian_3 Жыл бұрын
I agree. How can you cope with executive functioning tasks if you lack the skills to regulate emotions or self sooth? Or even social skills. Seems like a no brainer.
@gleangenie Жыл бұрын
I appreciate these suggestions. But…there is absolutely no way I can make sure my child gets enough sleep. I have tried everything and her sleep is still a mess. While we can scaffold a good and consistent lead up to bed, and we can offer sound screening and all the comfort measures possible, sleep continues to be one of the major challenges we can’t resolve. You can’t make a person sleep, no matter how much they need to.
Пікірлер
Hahah, "Hey, do you want to learn how to knit?" So funny but also a great example.
I'm sharing this video with my daughter and hubby. Thank you so much!!
School is out holiday start
My undiagnosed Asperger husband simply has no time for a shower and ranks it as an unnecessary task.
Also hard when you’ve been blindsided by trauma, devastating events that you didn’t see coming that had profound, long-lasting, negative effects on your life. Hypervigilance develops as a safety mechanism, albeit one gone wrong. Makes reframing a lot more difficult.
This is amazing. I thank you. Will watch a video every day. Sensory help needed.
Not going to work an hour case unfortunately as a lack of sleep triggers his colonic tonic seizures which are very violent and dangerous. His neurologist indicated that sleep deprivation is the number one trigger and we have seen some serious fallout as a result of that.
That doesn't work
I have a nintendo switch
As a parent and as an individual who has an autistic young adult son and who herself is autistic.. (I am referring to Asperger's in both cases)... I would like to recommend two books that I wished I had had years ago. One is by Sorensen and is called "I hear you." It's a small book and probably one of the most powerful books I've ever read. It was on the New York Times bestsellers list for weeks. Written by a layman in very easy to understand language on how to make another individual feel heard, accepted understood & loved.... Super easy to do... Just needs practice.. the other one is perhaps a nice accompaniment . It Is by a psychologist named Barbara Krovitz-Neren ...and it is called "Parenting the Addicted Teen".... In this book she does something pretty neat..... she interviews a ton of teens and young adults about what it is that they NEED... It's one of those books that you want to keep reading over and over or better yet..... listening to❗ The book is also available on audible.ca in which case you can easily listen to it repeatedly while driving the car, walking the dog, etc. It's invaluable. Why am I recommending these books? Because I believe that they are a powerful team in that.... many times individuals who are on the spectrum (Asperger's) are very vulnerable to addiction including "behavioral" addictions such as compulsive video gaming, surfing the net... Which can bleed their lives dry... these two books.... I believe..... are wonderful & powerful resources for parents.
expert vs loud ranting man
This makes soooo much sense!!!!! The outside world is packed full of stress-inducing demands and honestly, if I could isekai into a video game world of my choice, I would. I would isekai into Sky: Children of the Light and just be a kid, fly around, wear pretty capes, play music, and ACTUALLY make a bunch of friends. If only I actually knew I was neurodivergent before going to college and crashing and burning. And my life is still burning and engaging in games or other interests like creative writing is my only safe place. When I have to think of reasons to keep on living, it’s writing, as well as video games I haven’t played or future seasons of shows I love. It all comes down to epic fantasy worlds and the stories that happen in them. That’s why I keep living.
I have someone now in my life with this issue, my wife and I are old school suck it up drive on type, but we want to be a help and blessing to this person and help them know they are unconditionaly love by us. What’s the best videos to help us understand and be a help?
the commercial said: "You never have to be alone raising a kid with aspergers." well my parent was all alone she knew i was different she took me to two psychologists, but not wanting to be diagnosed more "wrong" than i knew i was (with my fat iq) i wrapped both psychs around my finger to make them report "he's perfectly normal" so she obviously resigned herself to giving me free reign over myself --- in aspie things especially --- she gave me full autonomy over myself to be a stupid undiagnosed asperger to never get life and so ruin it for myself with literally no life coaching at all (or any friend, i'm too weird for non-aspies) though i do not blame her as she supported my flailing one hundred percent i would love to be able to ask my late parent now: "why did you not teach me life?"
This was my best vid thus far. My parent I see smothered me, insulated me from real life. I was agreeable as an undiagnosed asperger not able to understand or function with non-aspies and non-aspie society. She raised me wrong, but to what somehow I displayed I needed --- knowing myself different while completely not knowing or having guidance on how to live. I expressed I was depressed as a kid, but to "he'll get over it." I never did. I worked, but too little for depression (clinical depression, I was a work-a-holic untapped). Now, with these vid offerings I can see I will retire a complete failure in life. Why did I not at least find AE in 2010 not 2023...
sìnce cursed 2020, why is AEE no longer in operation, function, helping ? autistics can also greatly benefit from all this rare information and help the courses i do not dare to buy for worry that there is no longer the organization there to phhysically receive course material from that fear amoong the general public is no doubt killing course sales and wow, would i buy your course on making friends even with food noney out of truly life or death necessity ! 🧡
where did AE go, please ! ! ! ! ? ? ? ?
AE works from the inside out not outside in ! wow !
these people are geniuses !
"it is all happening right now" not time oriented in defense mode where else in the world woulld we even hear 💚 this ?
we are in reaction mode all the time... yes ! especially while so often masking
this vid is underrated you all give invalùablle tidbits i really wish AE was still in operation
"don't judge me by my messy apartment" -- neeurotypical we are simply observing realities but i have an expanded saying: "truth is often stranger than fiction, and often less acceptable" -- an aspie truth
Danny or any of the female experts. How do you get out of defense mode with high hormones?
I may not be doing it on the outside but inner me is crying bc of how relatable this is to me. This is soo true.
Let’s talk about curing autism. Step 1: Don’t.
I have Asperger's and now longer play
Yeah. the #1 thing. parents get involved in what ur kids like . espically autism we cant make friends
I wouldnt bu ymy kids video games
I need to learn about “defense mode” but that immediately made sense to me as someone at the beginning of this journey @ 35. Thank you!
Citalopram has helped me alot with feeling on edge. It's a form of celexa
no such thing as Aspergers anymore. Your mom is borderline abusive--so rude and accusatory
Explained well.
I play them in order to break them. I have the most fun tryying to break a game. I guess it´s called play testing but back in my day it was called phreaking. It´s when you try to find the weakpoints in a system in order to get the goodies the system hides. When I was 12 I was phreaking/hacking food dispensers or laser barriers in my local university to pass doors. I think its often more fun than using the system the way it was intended. And no, I´m not a cheater. Cheating is not very elegant.
I wish Autists would play less video games and do more something that's creative. Like, learning an instrument. Video game addiction distracted me from learning the guitar. I think I can still learn it with a teacher - costs money tho - but it's really destructive. There is a fascist power in video games.
fascist 😂 thats a new one. woke bs
@@shanes.6227 So not gaming makes you woke?
I sadly still struggle with this as a 25 year old, mostly because I haven't evolved from being defensive. And it's very hard for me because I feel the need to be defensive in order to survive or somehow move forward from a very uncomfortable moment in time. Or to even get through a situation during the day. And considering my sexual preference, and years of bullying and verbal harassment, I still let it affect something happening currently because my mind compares similar triggering situations.
Will this help someone who exhibits many of these characteristics and has self diagnosed as Adult ADHD female...at 39 years old. Worked and had social life but covid pandemic has thrown her into being just as you describe Asperger.
To me, when I was a kid, homework was always a struggle, because I'd rather watch TV, play with my toys, or make up stories to write, featuring my toys. My fourth grade math teacher even made a word problem about the astonishing amount of TV I would watch. My fourth grade science teacher would yell at me for not doing my homework. She even had the nerve to tell my mom to lock up the TV and my toys until I was done with my homework. That lasted all of two days, until a family friend unlocked my Barbie dolls and let me play with them while I did my homework.
Your face reminds of FLUME, you look like him! who's also one of my favorite artists
He was trying to enable minimization of progress.
The complex part is, the person with aspergers doesnt have the wisdom to function or to maintain logical common sense. "LISTEN TO LISTEN" whats the point? we listen to help, we listen to understand in order to find solutions. A parent of a Asperger child/young adult is similar to a parent of a non-autistic child. They both want the best. So to allow a person with Aspergers to just be is waiting for a car to crash. Ive been living with a person with aspergers (Young adult) and he is determined to do things his way and of course, his parents did what most parents do is they just let them do what they want to do allday like gaming since a child, Beccuase, its their "SAFE PLACE" and thats not reality. If that ideology was ok, then all mental institutions should free the patients and let them be and people who dont have ASD will just have to move aside and let people who cant guide themselves just be. I think they have to learn how to do things that are not in their safe place at times because thats how the real world turns. Some of us non-ASD people have been forced to see and experience things that was not in our safe place. The world is NOT ALWAYS A SAFE PLACE. I watch aot of video to find solutions and most of the video i see a very soft approach to this when i think it needs firmness. Playing along with a person witrh dementia is horrible. The healthy thing to do is let them know the facts in which they exist. *example Thank you for this video!
I'm just trying to stay alive
Help
If screens didn't exist, neither would these disorders
Sadly you are right.
Another thing, video games get blamed for us "always doing something else" or "avoiding "reality" (AKA social interactions,") but in reality if we weren't playing them we would probably be doing something else that is " in our own world," etc. That's how I'm wired. I like to be involved in my own thing and usually others aren't interested in it, they would rather socialize. It's not the video games causing this, it's just autism.
Exactly. Likewise, guns cannot be blamed either for bad things that happen
I find them soothing. Some of them seem to release dopamine for me like social media does for nts. I don't see it as a bad thing- just that there is a place and time for everything and to not do them all day. He is so right: when life feels safe (mine has been becoming more so) then video games help with living my full potential outside of them. Self-esteem, mental simulation and exercise for the brain, and a healthy replacement for, say, alcohol or self harm resulting from stress. They are more akin to music to me than an "addiction." Music is also relaxing: soothing. He makes such great points. Really like everything he said. It's important for both children and adults to make sure we're getting enough sleep, exercise, and healthy nutrition as well as time away from the screen. I definitely think it's good to put them down for at least an hour before falling asleep. My thinking is clearer and my thoughts more original and creative after taking a break from any screen. But just like he said, video games can be an enhancement for us and actually engage our production in life outside of them. They can provide a means to having friendships for us, which is so important for kids and teens. I think Temple Grandin has a less favorable opinion of gaming because of the time in which she grew up. But they are not the be all end all... They are something enjoyable and healthy in moderation. Edit: And I love them! Been playing phone games lately. About to buy a new Playstation 🤩
Thank you. I can't listen to this message too many times. Helpful is an understatement of ridiculous proportion.
“You are creative, resourceful, and whole” FLOORED me… literally. I dropped to my knees, crying, thanking the Lord yet again that I am *seen*… not only by Him, but by the neurodivergent community.🥺 1. I excel at thinking outside of boxes, and love nearly every form of art (*except* rigid crafting kits 😂) 2. Being recognized as “resourceful” has always been one of theeee greatest compliments of my life. 3. I’ve only recently remembered my WORTH. I am not a flawed and broken piece of [poop], and I am not someone who is deeply lacking and needs to be “fixed.” ✊♥️ **I discovered Asperger Experts yesterday thanks to a FB recommendation, and I’m quite pleased I requested some info, as well as looking up AE here on KZread. Thank you so, so much. 🙋🏻♀️
I agree. How can you cope with executive functioning tasks if you lack the skills to regulate emotions or self sooth? Or even social skills. Seems like a no brainer.
I appreciate these suggestions. But…there is absolutely no way I can make sure my child gets enough sleep. I have tried everything and her sleep is still a mess. While we can scaffold a good and consistent lead up to bed, and we can offer sound screening and all the comfort measures possible, sleep continues to be one of the major challenges we can’t resolve. You can’t make a person sleep, no matter how much they need to.
Brilliant analysis and explanation!