My bad for the bad quality! Not sure what happened
@justme529031 минут бұрын
yay! New update
@grasonquilaton47406 сағат бұрын
:))
@user-yt7op4yb1r17 сағат бұрын
Is It my fault that my parents hate each other on one hand I know I can’t control their emotions but I can’t help but feel like it’s all my fault… but I’m a kid I’m just a kid I feel so alone …. They hate each other more than they love me why.
@Misxy420 сағат бұрын
0:00
@larakids970222 сағат бұрын
I’m gonna leave this comment to make you happy🥰 You’re beautiful/handsome Believe in yourself 🤗 I care about you🥰 I will hug you when you are sad~💕 God and Jesus love you😘 God made you in his image and it was beautiful/handsome-☺️ I LOVE YOU🤭 you’re are the best…💕 I hope I meet you in the after life😁 {I love your looks and everything’s 🤗 be safe, love yourself}
@MyvideosareshitКүн бұрын
I also miss the old me. The girl that liked dresses. The girl that didn't think she was ugly. The girl who didn't hurt others. The girl that didn't care if her friends left. Instead of being all genders besides a girl who is all of those things. I miss the days I laughed everyday.
@harryhappy4664Күн бұрын
No one know how a men cry when he’s alone it’s just not the same.i try my best.still wasn’t enough for her…
@Louise39019 сағат бұрын
Are you okay? ❤
@anubhutisingh8165Күн бұрын
Please ppl don't let me forget bout this playlist ❤
@Man.of.TomorrowКүн бұрын
I love her but i fucked up. I hope she can love me still, but without her... I feel so empty
@YaIna02 күн бұрын
🥹😪😪
@Roxyyy822 күн бұрын
Their like glass if they break them you cut them…
@frankie23663 күн бұрын
I’m so glad I escaped them, but at the same time I miss it- I miss feeling loved, even if that love was fake and manipulative. No one believes me when I say I was sexually assaulted and manipulated by a woman, especially as one myself. I cannot talk to anyone about this, so if you read my comment- thank you. I hope for better times to come your way ❤❤
@Elcats693 күн бұрын
Is it just me who just pretends to be sad and just feels like bad but blocks it away because you think you have nothing to be sad about and just convince yourself you’re doing it for attention. Please tell me it’s not just me…
@BoTealКүн бұрын
It’s not just you. I genuinely cannot tell what my emotions are saying. I cannot tell if I’m faking it or not.
@IceBucket973 күн бұрын
I was happy once, I feel empty now. I feel like my smiles and laughs aren't even real. Could never achieve what I wanted, could never become who I wanted. Couldn't live up to my parents' and my own expectations. Chased after who I wanted to be, ended up losing who I was.
@Louise39019 сағат бұрын
You'll find yourself again, believe in yourself! ❤
@IceBucket977 сағат бұрын
@@Louise3901 Thank you
@Milzxo_3 күн бұрын
I miss the old me. Sometimes I miss the fact I didn’t care what people said about me. I miss the way I would smile and socialise without a care in the world. I miss when no one would care about my teeth. My dog? I miss that too. I miss when I was happy. I miss going outside and talking to friends. I miss my friend. I miss when no one hated me. I miss when I didn’t ruin my life. I miss seeing my best friend smile whenever we saw eachother. I miss acting like my age, like a child. I miss not maturing fast. I miss the younger me. I miss the normal me. The one that helped everyone and wouldn’t ever worry about anything. I miss when no one judged. I miss the real me.
@AlpenSkyWatcher4 күн бұрын
She reciprocated my affirmation of love on a day when we were sharing shawarma. I couldn't forget what she said she wanted us to be more... that we can be something better together. We shared a lot: time, intimate words, touch, secrets, problems. It felt natural to be this close with someone I've friends with for years. But, there was a period when I was just too depressed. I had a twisted determination to end it all. I didn't want anything to do with anyone, even her. I ended our relationship. I locked myself in my room and avoided people. I tried to end myself. I felt nothing with a loaded gun to my head. After awhile, It made me laugh like a madman. Fortunately? Unfortunately? I got caught by my aunt. It was a shameful and stressful time with family. It was then covered up and never talked about again. She kept reaching out, but I wasn't opening up. One day, I snapped. Her persistence irritated me and I said a lot of nonsense on the lines of it's none of her business anymore, and that she can find someone better. I guess that kind of love was not for me. I won't be looking for it, because, I still hate myself. I moved to a different region with more relatives to be monitored. I'm "stable", but I still get dark ideas from time to time. I miss her. I might grab a shawarma just to feel something.
@AlpenSkyWatcher4 күн бұрын
She reciprocated my affirmation of love on a day when we were sharing shawarma. I couldn't forget what she said she wanted us to be more... that we can be something better together. We shared a lot: time, intimate words, touch, secrets, problems. It felt natural to be this close with someone I've friends with for years. But, there was a period when I was just too depressed. I also had a twisted determination to end it all. I didn't want anything to do with anyone, even her. I ended our relationship. I locked myself in my room and avoided people. I tried to end myself, but it was more like practice. I felt nothing with a loaded gun to my head. It made me laugh. Fortunately? Unfortunately? I was stopped by my aunt. It was a shameful and stressful time with family. It was then covered up and never talked about again. She kept reaching out, but I wasn't opening up. One day, I snapped. Her persistence irritated me and I said a lot of nonsense on the lines of it's none of her business anymore, and that she can find someone better. I guess that kind of love was not for me. I won't be looking for it, because, I still hate myself. I moved to a different region with more relatives to be monitored. I'm "stable", but I still get dark ideas from time to time. I miss her, but I guess I'll settle with shawarma.
@king_bob124 күн бұрын
I wish life was as simple as it was when days were careless and fun when we weren’t insecure or depressed 😞
@teodoraaleksic16795 күн бұрын
What happend my sweet boy you wer the most peaceful lovley and loveable person but you changed for what cost....
@Dafaq3395 күн бұрын
Please someone like this comment so I can come back to this playlist
@RafaelRodriguesAxelyexNobody6 күн бұрын
....
@bunchhuy6 күн бұрын
I'm so tired😅
@BaoNguyen086 күн бұрын
It’s been almost 6 months since the break up, we were together for more than a year. I know tough shit, but sometimes sad songs just hit home so hard.💔
@xkpgopek24496 күн бұрын
Aku menunggunya dengan sabar ,dia mengabaikanku agar sadar🥲
@StarryDynamo886 күн бұрын
Was happy for a moment … Got a glimpse of what It was like To be happy To have a companion Miss them No friends No family Lost everything Including who I was The old me Was happy For one moment In my life At least I tired At least I tired
@GhostofMyPast027 күн бұрын
Awhile ago I noticed my ex girlfriend stopped speaking to me and distanced herself, I hoped it was just girl problems. But No she had issues at home but she never told me. What was going on, it was always my mutual friend who knew. Every single time it didn't make sense at all., She knew She could lean on me but never did. But this didn't start until her and my friend went to a river together, I wasn't able to go BC my family had to do errands. They allowed me to get some jewelry for her. I wish I never got it. I still have it, I broke up with her because I was sick of my friend telling me every single time. Her not wanting me to know. She was embarrassed by me always, I never showed her I was embarrassed. I really tried to help her through it. It never works at all Im the guy friend that everyone knows I won't do anything lmao. They are now dating.....When my then friend told me I was taken back. And had him say it again. I said I was happy for him. I was bitter and selfish at the time..... Not too recently I got a dream where I was trying to pull another girl, she was there and when I said my pickup line to another girl my ex hugged me. Now I know this is hard to believe but I feel like it will either come true or she's dead. I haven't had contact with her for awhile. It could just be a dream but idk. My grandmother from my moms side has the same type of dreams and some stuff has come true like my mom having another baby. It could be a coincidence. I have so many dreams of the future but there not really useful, its just bits and pieces of where and when. Note I don't have a lot of dreams about other people, It could also be I loved her alot. I felt her on my shoulders, her scent, the warmth of her hug, every last detail. Im bickering Ik but, I had a dream where some mysterious figure died in a car crash. A few days later someone from my moms side husband died in the crash. Its making me go crazy but, idk. Maybe Im on crack, anyone have any dreams like this? or Do I need mental help,
@N3ll13.1v7 күн бұрын
I got with this boy i barely knew, we dated for a bit but he always ghosted me. He left me for his ex and now i realized why he ghosted me the whole time we were together, he was busy cheating on me with her. Since then i havent trusted anyone. All my old friends chose to stay by his side, its been months since then and i finally recovered. I noticed i didnt know him at all, nor did i need him. ❤
@puppychowpuppychow6018 күн бұрын
The following is a short story of an OC of mine, Lilac, inspired by this playlist. Warning, this was originally written for an instrumental only playlist, so there will be inconsistencies. *The area I am in is dark. Even for my eyes, I can not see my own hands before me. A slight chill in the air, and silence all around. Perfect for what I want. The cold will make it easier to feel her, the dark keeps my true senses at bay. With this, I start to hum. Melancholic and sounding more like a piano song than a huamn voice. I lift my arms, and start to dance with myself. Are my eyes opened or closed? It doesn’t matter. The slow sway of my steps following the song I create. No words are needed. I dance alone in the darkness, the sound of a piano the only noise.*
@puppychowpuppychow6018 күн бұрын
*A lull in the music I feel something warm and soft start to encircle my hand, then my waist. The warmth feels to shimmer then take shape as I change the song. A hand enclosed in my own, a hand holding my waist. I still can't see through the darkness. I move my free hand to match and find a firm shape and gently take hold.*
@puppychowpuppychow6018 күн бұрын
*I dance with my unseen partner, until a laspe of silence. The darkness falls away revealing a familiar room of a house long forgotten. Our slow melancholic dance takes us through the rooms. I focus on her long brown hair. Her hazelnut eyes. The softness of her skin on mine. I let the memory flow around us. These rooms. Devoid of life yet full of emotion. 'I don't want to remember this place.'*
@puppychowpuppychow6018 күн бұрын
*A wind seems to blow through the room as the scene swirls ans blends into a new one. The forest is vibrant and full of life. The music I am creating reflects this with a warmer tone. Our dance is lighter than before. Swirling and shifting with the woods. I catch a glimpse of olive green eyes watching and stare back before I'm swept back into the dance of memories.*
@puppychowpuppychow6018 күн бұрын
*We slow again, weaving and twirling as the song slows. I look back to the woman before me. 'Would she even want to know me?' The thought comes unbiden and the silence become the main note in this song. Swirling and sidestepping the whirlwinds that seem to envelope us. The slow unraveling of who we used to be surrounding us. Glimpses of faces once known, places once been. People I've met.*
@puppychowpuppychow6018 күн бұрын
*The sound grows louder, the silence even more pressing as it grows. The song droops, feelings of uneases and nervousness coming as it fades. Flashes of rusty brown, auburn swirls, vermillion puddles. Do I want her to see this? The uncertainty is present in the song as we continue dancing. My partner's hands never once slipping. I cling to her warmth and let the memories flood. Scenes of indescribable beauty and torment. Images of things that I have done. Those who I've used and left behind. Flickers of names. The images continue even as the song chances again. These memories feel they need noise, yet remain stoicly silent. The only sound the piano playing in the backround. The tempo picks up as the images swirl and bleed together, painting just how much of a monster I am. Thousands upon Thousands of people. Those who survived are numbered on one hand. 'I hope she understand... Acceptance is too much to ask.'*
@godspeed37038 күн бұрын
Yes, I miss the old me . . . but i hate them too. They were young and care free! They lived in the momment not thinking about whats going to happen tomorrow! But they let people walk all over them and instead of letting them go they held on to those people like they where the only people in the world that cared for them . . . I love and hate my past the old me . . . Can anyone relate???
@cupcake20268 күн бұрын
“As much as it seems like you own my heart,it’s astronomy,we’re two worlds apart” literally so true.😢
@JumpInTheCadillacTommyInnit10 күн бұрын
"when your hand was the closest, but they never reach for it." -Anonymous
@britany600711 күн бұрын
I liked everybody comment I hope I could make someone happy…:)
@envirofootprint11 күн бұрын
i need it to not be fleeting but me at my core and never to leave no matter what happens.
@thalithomsombat600011 күн бұрын
😢😢😢
@garbage426111 күн бұрын
The fact I was drawing dazai when my video ended it went here and the cover is dazai💀
@ur-fav.asain.0811 күн бұрын
The younger me would have done anything to be older, be me right now, but I'd do anything to go back, be young, be carefree, not worrying about what people thought of me, what they said or just go back to the time where the only thing that was hard was doing the dishes...
@kikonieko862212 күн бұрын
Y'all remember when we couldn't wait to grow up. Thinking our lives would be everything we wanted, having silly dreams, thinking how awesome the future is? Well now, we're all grown up. It's nothing like I would have imagined. Life as a teen is hard man. Life is still good, js not what it used to be. I miss being a lil happy kiddo
@Everyonelovesrin12 күн бұрын
just a bit ago i reached out to a friend i had to leave because of their parents. they told me they hoped i would find someone else and be able to move on but i still miss them, i had to leave them on march 9th, 2022 (3 days after my birthday) because their parents found something on her phone and blamed me for it. we kept in contact, i played a game just for her so we could talk. during that time she had so many things going on, she tried to kill herself, she got pneumonia, she almost died both times and not to mention she had to go to a mental hospital, she never gave up talking tome until about a year ago, around the start of last year. she stopped coming online, we used to talk on tiktok but for some reason my account got banned or deleted. i was cleaning out my room one night and found her number along with some old notes of ours, i didn't know if she had survived her illness so i reached out and the thing i said in the beginning was what she said. she seemed to be alright without me and that hurts knowing im the only one craving for her to come back, for her to hug me again, to hear her voice ive now forgotten, to see her face which is now getting blurry and to hear the laugh i no longer have any memory of. it hurts that i love her so much yet my mind cannot hold those things close enough to remember. i keep blaming myself for everything even if it wasn't my fault. as i scrolled through out old emails i started crying again, im so tired. im tired of putting my all into any type of relationship all for it to burn down or painfully crumble to the ground. I'm losing so many people after this last semester of 8th grade, im sick of the word goodbye at this point. my friend of 6 years is leaving after freshman year to be with her dad, the rest of her friends i dont talk to as much because we dont all get along all that well so ill be alone, all alone. im scared, im scared of falling into another loophole of worse state. ive been getting better but its only better when im at least with someone and soon enough there wont be anyone, therapy isnt much of a help if the house i live in shuts it all down. when will it be my turn to experience something good enough i cant stop smiling? when will i be able to feel ok? when will i be able to just...forget.
@Emy83ue13 күн бұрын
13:22 is wheres my love
@genuinallygonnakms13 күн бұрын
i watch myself do stuff younger me would be sick at.. how unmoved i am, how terrible things dont even phase me anymore i feel like a shell, a replacement for who i once was, i fight with my dad daily i get mad i cry i cut i wanna scream, but i cant, i cant do it, everything hurts i feel ugly i feel stupid but im scared to die im terrified of it, i hate the thought of losing ppl i love, i want a partner but ik i get too emotionally attached and break it before it gets to strong because i cant handle even the smallest parts of life, im weak, im useless, ill never be good at anything i do, ill js end up a fat bum..
@Loony_bear14 күн бұрын
I wish I was at least friends with him..
@Louise39019 күн бұрын
You, me, best friends forever now.
@Loony_bear8 күн бұрын
@@Louise3901 🤝🤝
@Louise39018 күн бұрын
@@Loony_bear 😊❤️
@Loony_bear8 күн бұрын
@@Louise3901 😁
@Louise39018 күн бұрын
@@Loony_bear 😘
@WhereIsAdhd14 күн бұрын
My boyfriend died of suicide tonight i just wanna say I love you so much your my pretty sweet amazing handsome kind strong beautiful loving caring boy i love you so much you were perfect and amazing I love you.
@emma-df3yf6 күн бұрын
Im so sorry
@Lizykitty.15 күн бұрын
I’m probably to young to be giving advice but what keeps me from killing my self is having someone else that you like in school (if your older work) and even if you know it will never work it helps some times
@Louise390115 күн бұрын
🫀
@Skz..st4y88116 күн бұрын
the fact I know all the vent songs is just unhealthy
@emma-df3yf6 күн бұрын
fr
@Kxffee16 күн бұрын
When I think life starts looking up, I get hit like a truck by my own friends.
@emma-df3yf6 күн бұрын
LMAI thats so real
@ThatFunkyDog16 күн бұрын
I’m not lazy I’m just tired and stupid, I do try, I try harder than I have ever tried before and I still can’t get anything right😭 But it’s all right, only 3 more weeks of hell then the yelling should subside, I hope
@Farukai-ij7my17 күн бұрын
"The worst feeling isnt being alone, its being forgotten by somebody you could never forget" ~ I don't know
Пікірлер
My bad for the bad quality! Not sure what happened
yay! New update
:))
Is It my fault that my parents hate each other on one hand I know I can’t control their emotions but I can’t help but feel like it’s all my fault… but I’m a kid I’m just a kid I feel so alone …. They hate each other more than they love me why.
0:00
I’m gonna leave this comment to make you happy🥰 You’re beautiful/handsome Believe in yourself 🤗 I care about you🥰 I will hug you when you are sad~💕 God and Jesus love you😘 God made you in his image and it was beautiful/handsome-☺️ I LOVE YOU🤭 you’re are the best…💕 I hope I meet you in the after life😁 {I love your looks and everything’s 🤗 be safe, love yourself}
I also miss the old me. The girl that liked dresses. The girl that didn't think she was ugly. The girl who didn't hurt others. The girl that didn't care if her friends left. Instead of being all genders besides a girl who is all of those things. I miss the days I laughed everyday.
No one know how a men cry when he’s alone it’s just not the same.i try my best.still wasn’t enough for her…
Are you okay? ❤
Please ppl don't let me forget bout this playlist ❤
I love her but i fucked up. I hope she can love me still, but without her... I feel so empty
🥹😪😪
Their like glass if they break them you cut them…
I’m so glad I escaped them, but at the same time I miss it- I miss feeling loved, even if that love was fake and manipulative. No one believes me when I say I was sexually assaulted and manipulated by a woman, especially as one myself. I cannot talk to anyone about this, so if you read my comment- thank you. I hope for better times to come your way ❤❤
Is it just me who just pretends to be sad and just feels like bad but blocks it away because you think you have nothing to be sad about and just convince yourself you’re doing it for attention. Please tell me it’s not just me…
It’s not just you. I genuinely cannot tell what my emotions are saying. I cannot tell if I’m faking it or not.
I was happy once, I feel empty now. I feel like my smiles and laughs aren't even real. Could never achieve what I wanted, could never become who I wanted. Couldn't live up to my parents' and my own expectations. Chased after who I wanted to be, ended up losing who I was.
You'll find yourself again, believe in yourself! ❤
@@Louise3901 Thank you
I miss the old me. Sometimes I miss the fact I didn’t care what people said about me. I miss the way I would smile and socialise without a care in the world. I miss when no one would care about my teeth. My dog? I miss that too. I miss when I was happy. I miss going outside and talking to friends. I miss my friend. I miss when no one hated me. I miss when I didn’t ruin my life. I miss seeing my best friend smile whenever we saw eachother. I miss acting like my age, like a child. I miss not maturing fast. I miss the younger me. I miss the normal me. The one that helped everyone and wouldn’t ever worry about anything. I miss when no one judged. I miss the real me.
She reciprocated my affirmation of love on a day when we were sharing shawarma. I couldn't forget what she said she wanted us to be more... that we can be something better together. We shared a lot: time, intimate words, touch, secrets, problems. It felt natural to be this close with someone I've friends with for years. But, there was a period when I was just too depressed. I had a twisted determination to end it all. I didn't want anything to do with anyone, even her. I ended our relationship. I locked myself in my room and avoided people. I tried to end myself. I felt nothing with a loaded gun to my head. After awhile, It made me laugh like a madman. Fortunately? Unfortunately? I got caught by my aunt. It was a shameful and stressful time with family. It was then covered up and never talked about again. She kept reaching out, but I wasn't opening up. One day, I snapped. Her persistence irritated me and I said a lot of nonsense on the lines of it's none of her business anymore, and that she can find someone better. I guess that kind of love was not for me. I won't be looking for it, because, I still hate myself. I moved to a different region with more relatives to be monitored. I'm "stable", but I still get dark ideas from time to time. I miss her. I might grab a shawarma just to feel something.
She reciprocated my affirmation of love on a day when we were sharing shawarma. I couldn't forget what she said she wanted us to be more... that we can be something better together. We shared a lot: time, intimate words, touch, secrets, problems. It felt natural to be this close with someone I've friends with for years. But, there was a period when I was just too depressed. I also had a twisted determination to end it all. I didn't want anything to do with anyone, even her. I ended our relationship. I locked myself in my room and avoided people. I tried to end myself, but it was more like practice. I felt nothing with a loaded gun to my head. It made me laugh. Fortunately? Unfortunately? I was stopped by my aunt. It was a shameful and stressful time with family. It was then covered up and never talked about again. She kept reaching out, but I wasn't opening up. One day, I snapped. Her persistence irritated me and I said a lot of nonsense on the lines of it's none of her business anymore, and that she can find someone better. I guess that kind of love was not for me. I won't be looking for it, because, I still hate myself. I moved to a different region with more relatives to be monitored. I'm "stable", but I still get dark ideas from time to time. I miss her, but I guess I'll settle with shawarma.
I wish life was as simple as it was when days were careless and fun when we weren’t insecure or depressed 😞
What happend my sweet boy you wer the most peaceful lovley and loveable person but you changed for what cost....
Please someone like this comment so I can come back to this playlist
....
I'm so tired😅
It’s been almost 6 months since the break up, we were together for more than a year. I know tough shit, but sometimes sad songs just hit home so hard.💔
Aku menunggunya dengan sabar ,dia mengabaikanku agar sadar🥲
Was happy for a moment … Got a glimpse of what It was like To be happy To have a companion Miss them No friends No family Lost everything Including who I was The old me Was happy For one moment In my life At least I tired At least I tired
Awhile ago I noticed my ex girlfriend stopped speaking to me and distanced herself, I hoped it was just girl problems. But No she had issues at home but she never told me. What was going on, it was always my mutual friend who knew. Every single time it didn't make sense at all., She knew She could lean on me but never did. But this didn't start until her and my friend went to a river together, I wasn't able to go BC my family had to do errands. They allowed me to get some jewelry for her. I wish I never got it. I still have it, I broke up with her because I was sick of my friend telling me every single time. Her not wanting me to know. She was embarrassed by me always, I never showed her I was embarrassed. I really tried to help her through it. It never works at all Im the guy friend that everyone knows I won't do anything lmao. They are now dating.....When my then friend told me I was taken back. And had him say it again. I said I was happy for him. I was bitter and selfish at the time..... Not too recently I got a dream where I was trying to pull another girl, she was there and when I said my pickup line to another girl my ex hugged me. Now I know this is hard to believe but I feel like it will either come true or she's dead. I haven't had contact with her for awhile. It could just be a dream but idk. My grandmother from my moms side has the same type of dreams and some stuff has come true like my mom having another baby. It could be a coincidence. I have so many dreams of the future but there not really useful, its just bits and pieces of where and when. Note I don't have a lot of dreams about other people, It could also be I loved her alot. I felt her on my shoulders, her scent, the warmth of her hug, every last detail. Im bickering Ik but, I had a dream where some mysterious figure died in a car crash. A few days later someone from my moms side husband died in the crash. Its making me go crazy but, idk. Maybe Im on crack, anyone have any dreams like this? or Do I need mental help,
I got with this boy i barely knew, we dated for a bit but he always ghosted me. He left me for his ex and now i realized why he ghosted me the whole time we were together, he was busy cheating on me with her. Since then i havent trusted anyone. All my old friends chose to stay by his side, its been months since then and i finally recovered. I noticed i didnt know him at all, nor did i need him. ❤
The following is a short story of an OC of mine, Lilac, inspired by this playlist. Warning, this was originally written for an instrumental only playlist, so there will be inconsistencies. *The area I am in is dark. Even for my eyes, I can not see my own hands before me. A slight chill in the air, and silence all around. Perfect for what I want. The cold will make it easier to feel her, the dark keeps my true senses at bay. With this, I start to hum. Melancholic and sounding more like a piano song than a huamn voice. I lift my arms, and start to dance with myself. Are my eyes opened or closed? It doesn’t matter. The slow sway of my steps following the song I create. No words are needed. I dance alone in the darkness, the sound of a piano the only noise.*
*A lull in the music I feel something warm and soft start to encircle my hand, then my waist. The warmth feels to shimmer then take shape as I change the song. A hand enclosed in my own, a hand holding my waist. I still can't see through the darkness. I move my free hand to match and find a firm shape and gently take hold.*
*I dance with my unseen partner, until a laspe of silence. The darkness falls away revealing a familiar room of a house long forgotten. Our slow melancholic dance takes us through the rooms. I focus on her long brown hair. Her hazelnut eyes. The softness of her skin on mine. I let the memory flow around us. These rooms. Devoid of life yet full of emotion. 'I don't want to remember this place.'*
*A wind seems to blow through the room as the scene swirls ans blends into a new one. The forest is vibrant and full of life. The music I am creating reflects this with a warmer tone. Our dance is lighter than before. Swirling and shifting with the woods. I catch a glimpse of olive green eyes watching and stare back before I'm swept back into the dance of memories.*
*We slow again, weaving and twirling as the song slows. I look back to the woman before me. 'Would she even want to know me?' The thought comes unbiden and the silence become the main note in this song. Swirling and sidestepping the whirlwinds that seem to envelope us. The slow unraveling of who we used to be surrounding us. Glimpses of faces once known, places once been. People I've met.*
*The sound grows louder, the silence even more pressing as it grows. The song droops, feelings of uneases and nervousness coming as it fades. Flashes of rusty brown, auburn swirls, vermillion puddles. Do I want her to see this? The uncertainty is present in the song as we continue dancing. My partner's hands never once slipping. I cling to her warmth and let the memories flood. Scenes of indescribable beauty and torment. Images of things that I have done. Those who I've used and left behind. Flickers of names. The images continue even as the song chances again. These memories feel they need noise, yet remain stoicly silent. The only sound the piano playing in the backround. The tempo picks up as the images swirl and bleed together, painting just how much of a monster I am. Thousands upon Thousands of people. Those who survived are numbered on one hand. 'I hope she understand... Acceptance is too much to ask.'*
Yes, I miss the old me . . . but i hate them too. They were young and care free! They lived in the momment not thinking about whats going to happen tomorrow! But they let people walk all over them and instead of letting them go they held on to those people like they where the only people in the world that cared for them . . . I love and hate my past the old me . . . Can anyone relate???
“As much as it seems like you own my heart,it’s astronomy,we’re two worlds apart” literally so true.😢
"when your hand was the closest, but they never reach for it." -Anonymous
I liked everybody comment I hope I could make someone happy…:)
i need it to not be fleeting but me at my core and never to leave no matter what happens.
😢😢😢
The fact I was drawing dazai when my video ended it went here and the cover is dazai💀
The younger me would have done anything to be older, be me right now, but I'd do anything to go back, be young, be carefree, not worrying about what people thought of me, what they said or just go back to the time where the only thing that was hard was doing the dishes...
Y'all remember when we couldn't wait to grow up. Thinking our lives would be everything we wanted, having silly dreams, thinking how awesome the future is? Well now, we're all grown up. It's nothing like I would have imagined. Life as a teen is hard man. Life is still good, js not what it used to be. I miss being a lil happy kiddo
just a bit ago i reached out to a friend i had to leave because of their parents. they told me they hoped i would find someone else and be able to move on but i still miss them, i had to leave them on march 9th, 2022 (3 days after my birthday) because their parents found something on her phone and blamed me for it. we kept in contact, i played a game just for her so we could talk. during that time she had so many things going on, she tried to kill herself, she got pneumonia, she almost died both times and not to mention she had to go to a mental hospital, she never gave up talking tome until about a year ago, around the start of last year. she stopped coming online, we used to talk on tiktok but for some reason my account got banned or deleted. i was cleaning out my room one night and found her number along with some old notes of ours, i didn't know if she had survived her illness so i reached out and the thing i said in the beginning was what she said. she seemed to be alright without me and that hurts knowing im the only one craving for her to come back, for her to hug me again, to hear her voice ive now forgotten, to see her face which is now getting blurry and to hear the laugh i no longer have any memory of. it hurts that i love her so much yet my mind cannot hold those things close enough to remember. i keep blaming myself for everything even if it wasn't my fault. as i scrolled through out old emails i started crying again, im so tired. im tired of putting my all into any type of relationship all for it to burn down or painfully crumble to the ground. I'm losing so many people after this last semester of 8th grade, im sick of the word goodbye at this point. my friend of 6 years is leaving after freshman year to be with her dad, the rest of her friends i dont talk to as much because we dont all get along all that well so ill be alone, all alone. im scared, im scared of falling into another loophole of worse state. ive been getting better but its only better when im at least with someone and soon enough there wont be anyone, therapy isnt much of a help if the house i live in shuts it all down. when will it be my turn to experience something good enough i cant stop smiling? when will i be able to feel ok? when will i be able to just...forget.
13:22 is wheres my love
i watch myself do stuff younger me would be sick at.. how unmoved i am, how terrible things dont even phase me anymore i feel like a shell, a replacement for who i once was, i fight with my dad daily i get mad i cry i cut i wanna scream, but i cant, i cant do it, everything hurts i feel ugly i feel stupid but im scared to die im terrified of it, i hate the thought of losing ppl i love, i want a partner but ik i get too emotionally attached and break it before it gets to strong because i cant handle even the smallest parts of life, im weak, im useless, ill never be good at anything i do, ill js end up a fat bum..
I wish I was at least friends with him..
You, me, best friends forever now.
@@Louise3901 🤝🤝
@@Loony_bear 😊❤️
@@Louise3901 😁
@@Loony_bear 😘
My boyfriend died of suicide tonight i just wanna say I love you so much your my pretty sweet amazing handsome kind strong beautiful loving caring boy i love you so much you were perfect and amazing I love you.
Im so sorry
I’m probably to young to be giving advice but what keeps me from killing my self is having someone else that you like in school (if your older work) and even if you know it will never work it helps some times
🫀
the fact I know all the vent songs is just unhealthy
fr
When I think life starts looking up, I get hit like a truck by my own friends.
LMAI thats so real
I’m not lazy I’m just tired and stupid, I do try, I try harder than I have ever tried before and I still can’t get anything right😭 But it’s all right, only 3 more weeks of hell then the yelling should subside, I hope
"The worst feeling isnt being alone, its being forgotten by somebody you could never forget" ~ I don't know