My inner child is so reactive to these videos. I really wish I could have been placed in foster care as a child. Home was so bad and back in the 80’/90’s parents got away with so much more. Just a break to know what kindness and peace in a home felt like would have been so nice.
@ashleyduzstuff13210 сағат бұрын
Why do I want to be her foster child now 😭
@lisaryan436211 сағат бұрын
Crazy to let kids decide where and what to eat.
@mitrolltv11 сағат бұрын
#nice
@hoziersexual12 сағат бұрын
I have that book!
@kulwantsinghdhesi-dq2bu13 сағат бұрын
My mum would say we’re not sitting in a restaurant 😂
@goldiloks0813 сағат бұрын
How do you get pictures of the parents to make the photo books? Is there a picture in the file you get or?
@stephaniewaters177714 сағат бұрын
Chocolate milk is a dessert .. why is it being served with a meal?
@emma_doucette14 сағат бұрын
I used to hide food in my room because we weren't very wealthy and couldn't afford snacks or treats. So when we did have them, I would hide some away to save for later
@Epoh515 сағат бұрын
Let’s child have food at anytime? My mom would be very upset with me if I ate food at anytime. I completely understand the kid hiding food under the mattress because I do the exact same thing.
@Janne_Mai15 сағат бұрын
I wish she would let you eat when you want to eat! Our bodies can tell us what they need, and sometimes we're hungry way before dinnertime and that's okay! As an adult, I eat when it feels right (and I've had a doctor tell me that having 4-5 smaller meals might work better for me than having 2-3 large ones!). I wish we would give that same freedom to kids. It's not fair!
@wisegirl35915 сағат бұрын
is obsessing over fictional characters in a way you act dress talk like them also similar or a problem? cause that was definitely me until like,,, what 11-12? like i still obsses over stuff now but not as much as 4 hmyears back-
@FrenkTheJoy16 сағат бұрын
I always like that you always frame these videos as "inexperienced vs experienced" instead of "wrong vs right". Like you're looking out for the wellbeing of potential foster parents and not just for the kids!
@maleidi16 сағат бұрын
Who likes cucumber when they give you milk and fries for dinner?
@jaiwolph368516 сағат бұрын
I have food hoarding tendencies and I don’t even know why. My parents never restricted my eating habits (aside from the common sense stuff like no ice cream before dinner), never said I couldn’t have snacks (within reason), nothin Only thing I can think of is that I’d wake up in the middle of the night hungry and go grab food to bring to my room to eat so they didn’t catch me night eating. I’m going to be 24 at the end of the month and I still hoard food. I’m not adopted or fostered or anything either. No idea how to break my hoarding habit, parents tried the ‘no food in room’ thing over and over again and I never listen. Hell, I’ll have food in my room that i just never eat and forget about. They even tried “you can eat in your room, just clean up after yourself “ and i struggle with that. It’s frustrating for all of us Sorry for the semi unrelated rant, the food thing just made me remember my own problems.
@Janne_Mai15 сағат бұрын
Maybe this is just what brings you comfort! You could try having a clear bin too (and a trashcan with a lid), one of the issues with food in your room can be attracting pests like ants, so if everything can be in closed containers and it's not super perishable stuff (like a banana) then it's perfectly fine to have snacks in your room! I'm also in my mid-20s and live alone and I keep some snacks in my bedroom just because it's a long walk to the kitchen XD You don't have to change this if you don't want to! (And if your parents can drop this and expect you to handle the situation yourself like an adult, that might actually help to defuse the tension! But "handling the situation" can include buying a clear bin. You don't have to do things the way your parents did them)
@Janne_Mai15 сағат бұрын
"like an adult" might be a weird phrase because you are in fact an adult, I just mean that your parents might need to adjust to that :)
@marstrull17 сағат бұрын
I used to pretend to be a cat when I was little and I remember always getting in trouble for it and being yelled at and that did not help anything
@nikiepunt863117 сағат бұрын
You could give them something that does not make them fat in the longrun..
@nikiepunt863117 сағат бұрын
But every moron can just birth a child. No problem
@RichTheFlop18 сағат бұрын
reminder: your taste evolves and changes. you may not like things like broccoli or cucumbers now, but you may develop a taste for them eventually!
@noodledoodlez207918 сағат бұрын
Maybe even double check with them what their triggers are, and let them go into the room first before bed and have them point out to you what needs changed. Remind them that YOU want them to feel safe, and tell them at a comfortable for both parties level if you have any personal experience with certain traumas.
@liannamkoyan989318 сағат бұрын
Another tip if someone is hurt by combing the hair. Start brushing from the bottom :)
@jeffreykershner44019 сағат бұрын
First, i want to hear morw of this silly frog. Second, first foster kid we had was a child of neglect. He had learned to not poop until bathtime. Then as soon as he was in the tub, he poop. That was always exciting. We almost had him potty trained before DHS found dad.
@cricket282619 сағат бұрын
Ive been watching your vids for a while, because my partner and I want to foster, and ive been loving every video and how much makes so much sense to me as a psych major. But this video really got me. I was 4 when i went into the system and never really had a home like this, they werent twrrible, and i didnt really devwlop any kinds of these issues until later down the line, but seeing someone care about their startling, and the discomfort with jew people. This one made me cry. thank you for your love.
@slinkieDinks19 сағат бұрын
My biological mother wouldn’t treat me like that, but then again we really were treated like shit back in the day😂
@user-qy9bl4xq8w19 сағат бұрын
Can't love this video enough. Thank you
@inerkatakan816120 сағат бұрын
on the one hand we need more foster parents on the other hand an unrelated property can prevent you from fostering
@maxfreer645521 сағат бұрын
The trauma-informed parenting makes me cry everytime. If only all parents were like you and did their research.
@MNW070521 сағат бұрын
Watching your videos really brings home how vulnerable these little kids are. It's extremely frightening to think that some of the homes are going into are not like yours. Oh Lord help them.
@willow815421 сағат бұрын
I always saw the brand names as meaning I was "worth" the extra money- even if they tasted pretty much the same. After a bit I stopped caring, but it really helped me feel valued.
@JeliToast21 сағат бұрын
I dotn let anyone touch my hair cause when I was younger my hair would get really and since I didn’t like brushing it as no one knew I had curly hair or how to care for it so mainly my grandmas would brush my hair and they would always say do I kept crying they’d give me a reason to cry or when I was younger my mom would hit me on the head for crying you want em to do that to you turns out I’m tender headed and they were litterly ripping though my hair now I don’t let anyone near my hair so
@kayleesevers781721 сағат бұрын
You always slay Laura
@pizzatime375221 сағат бұрын
I’m an adult and I still sleep with a nightlight. I have a strange visual issue at night and if it is too dark with no other light source, my vision will be a very painful wall of green that I cannot see past. It feels like my head is being stomped on by elephants and that I’m trying to look through jars of green slime. It resides for a few minutes even after there is a light on and it can be so scary to be completely blind when there is light. Sleeping with a nightlight and never being in a pitch black room seems to help though and I haven’t been without light ever since. I even have motion detecting lights in my home so when it is dark, they will turn on as I pass them and allow me to safely navigate since I can’t see anything in the dark, not even my hand half an inch from my face. It is not just children who have a fear or problem with the dark. It can be anyone!
@Corina-dq2my21 сағат бұрын
I know the feeling...But you know what works for my kid? Might work for yours, is I buy a bag of stir fry, rice stir fry, teriyaki. And I remove the frozen vegetables, and toward the end of cooking the stir fry, I add fresh finely chopped broccoli and you can add another veggie, too if you want. And I lightly cook it towards the end. Just barely. I use a very good teriyaki sauce. And she eats it right up.
@estelacpc21 сағат бұрын
i noticed that in the not ideal scenarios you talk a lot like "WE don't do x, WE need to do y" when it really means the child. its unnerving! i really appreciate the use of clear language in the experienced scenarios :)
@KatTheo43122 сағат бұрын
I'm not sure fi anyone wants to address the elephant in the room when it comes to something like "soccer camp" that's expensive, but it would be interesting to see foster parent education like this actually over it since it's something foster youth frequently encounter where there isn't enough money to pay for something like that. I wish there was more effort to help provide scholarship and funding for foster youth to do activities like that, but I've seen foster parents argue that their bio kids will be jealous that the foster placements get things that they don't or those things might not be available if they return to their parents and the parent can't afford it.
@rainsparks2922 сағат бұрын
No trauma here but my hair is long, thick, and just wavy enough to tangle like hell if not looked after for a few days. My mom used to brush it in the mornings before school and, due to time restraints, would always do it quickly. Not too brutal, mind, but it still stung a bit. Now, I use a comb instead, and just tease out any tangles very gently. So routine that it's quick for me to do as well, with none of the pain. Once when I wake up so it's good for the day, and once when I go to bed so it's easy to tackle in the morning (I actually find it tangles more throughout the course of the day than when I'm asleep!). If going out for any nice occasions, comb again just so it looks best. If you're able to spare the time it's definitely my preferred way of detangling
@JadenRussell6922 сағат бұрын
Me realizing my bf does this for me with the gatherings, food (other video I saw of you), and etc. because my parents are ab-sive
@Lyandra0122 сағат бұрын
Thank you! That “no food in the room” rule was a losing battle. Also, yeah, I’m glad I fought for their camp. Their behavior has completely changed-they are so happy every day now! They’re more helpful and affectionate in the house now, and have begun to go outside with their friends instead of just talking to people online in the house all day. They have been apathetic towards everything all year. Going to this camp-the one thing they actually seemed to want to do-really was critical to their mental health. They’re even doing their summer school homework without complaint! 😃
@foster.parenting20 сағат бұрын
Thank you for sharing this experience! Normalcy is so important and so beneficial for kids. If you don't schedule in these activities, they won't ever happen.
@Lyandra0120 сағат бұрын
@@foster.parenting Yes. Their school and CYF had wanted them to attend the school’s summer program for troubled youth, but I had felt all year that they weren’t happy with the school’s specialized in-house services, so I fought for my teen to get their first job- working at a normal summer camp. They have really blossomed during this last month! I have never felt more certain that I made the right decision. 😃❤️
@Janne_Mai15 сағат бұрын
Sounds like it was totally the right call! Kids, especially teenagers, thrive when they are able to help someone rather than just be helped. You're basically saying "hey, I believe in you, you can do this thing that you want to achieve", and how powerful is that!!
@Lyandra0111 сағат бұрын
@@Janne_Mai Thank you! I hadn’t thought about it that way!
@carynboundy-clark648023 сағат бұрын
All good except you making healthy fresh veggies turn into a salty fat laden ranch dressing...gross
@Skylark-qm8kv23 сағат бұрын
CRINGE
@carolinepeterson646823 сағат бұрын
I want to hear more about the bacon burgers
@mayayallop-ryan554923 сағат бұрын
I love these videos because the first example seems totally reasonable, if you werent aware if a more trauma informed approach. You just simply wouldnt know that it could be harmful/unhelpful if you werent educated otherwise. It shows that we could all make these mistakes and provides simple alternatives with the childs needs in mind
@TheChelseaTML23 сағат бұрын
I really like how you make comparison examples. They are informative thnxu
@foster.parenting20 сағат бұрын
Ty for watching!
@randomvielleuse52723 сағат бұрын
I love the food bin for the kids’ room. This has got to be so validating and comforting! And working the schedule so that camp can happen is wonderful!
@Normal_Person746Күн бұрын
I’ve never had a foster parent but my dad used to ask us (my sister and me) which name we liked for the protagonist. He said that is for the kids to interact more or to have a little connection to the story ❤
@randomshorts6862Күн бұрын
😢 in my foster home experience we had to sneak food because all the foster mom gave us was cereal one day a week and then quickly take us out to eat before the caseworker showed up so it looked like we were being fed thankfully a manager was able to contact the authority and they told her of 6 kids are to much give up her fostering to not doing it or say she can only house 1-2
@Hoid.Күн бұрын
Every child deserves that kind of emotional safety 💔
@janazemanova117Күн бұрын
It might sound strange. But how ranch tastes like? Iam from Czech Republic and we don't have it here and I always imagine it like a custard maybe with some herbs 🤔
@user-rv8ej4bo4wКүн бұрын
Anyone watch dumping ground or Tracy beaker
@raynehartwick9589Күн бұрын
Being a person who has been threw foster care wish they did this stuff.
@rodolfoerdogan4983Күн бұрын
Give some brat a menu like he's ordering at a restaurant. Great
Пікірлер
My inner child is so reactive to these videos. I really wish I could have been placed in foster care as a child. Home was so bad and back in the 80’/90’s parents got away with so much more. Just a break to know what kindness and peace in a home felt like would have been so nice.
Why do I want to be her foster child now 😭
Crazy to let kids decide where and what to eat.
#nice
I have that book!
My mum would say we’re not sitting in a restaurant 😂
How do you get pictures of the parents to make the photo books? Is there a picture in the file you get or?
Chocolate milk is a dessert .. why is it being served with a meal?
I used to hide food in my room because we weren't very wealthy and couldn't afford snacks or treats. So when we did have them, I would hide some away to save for later
Let’s child have food at anytime? My mom would be very upset with me if I ate food at anytime. I completely understand the kid hiding food under the mattress because I do the exact same thing.
I wish she would let you eat when you want to eat! Our bodies can tell us what they need, and sometimes we're hungry way before dinnertime and that's okay! As an adult, I eat when it feels right (and I've had a doctor tell me that having 4-5 smaller meals might work better for me than having 2-3 large ones!). I wish we would give that same freedom to kids. It's not fair!
is obsessing over fictional characters in a way you act dress talk like them also similar or a problem? cause that was definitely me until like,,, what 11-12? like i still obsses over stuff now but not as much as 4 hmyears back-
I always like that you always frame these videos as "inexperienced vs experienced" instead of "wrong vs right". Like you're looking out for the wellbeing of potential foster parents and not just for the kids!
Who likes cucumber when they give you milk and fries for dinner?
I have food hoarding tendencies and I don’t even know why. My parents never restricted my eating habits (aside from the common sense stuff like no ice cream before dinner), never said I couldn’t have snacks (within reason), nothin Only thing I can think of is that I’d wake up in the middle of the night hungry and go grab food to bring to my room to eat so they didn’t catch me night eating. I’m going to be 24 at the end of the month and I still hoard food. I’m not adopted or fostered or anything either. No idea how to break my hoarding habit, parents tried the ‘no food in room’ thing over and over again and I never listen. Hell, I’ll have food in my room that i just never eat and forget about. They even tried “you can eat in your room, just clean up after yourself “ and i struggle with that. It’s frustrating for all of us Sorry for the semi unrelated rant, the food thing just made me remember my own problems.
Maybe this is just what brings you comfort! You could try having a clear bin too (and a trashcan with a lid), one of the issues with food in your room can be attracting pests like ants, so if everything can be in closed containers and it's not super perishable stuff (like a banana) then it's perfectly fine to have snacks in your room! I'm also in my mid-20s and live alone and I keep some snacks in my bedroom just because it's a long walk to the kitchen XD You don't have to change this if you don't want to! (And if your parents can drop this and expect you to handle the situation yourself like an adult, that might actually help to defuse the tension! But "handling the situation" can include buying a clear bin. You don't have to do things the way your parents did them)
"like an adult" might be a weird phrase because you are in fact an adult, I just mean that your parents might need to adjust to that :)
I used to pretend to be a cat when I was little and I remember always getting in trouble for it and being yelled at and that did not help anything
You could give them something that does not make them fat in the longrun..
But every moron can just birth a child. No problem
reminder: your taste evolves and changes. you may not like things like broccoli or cucumbers now, but you may develop a taste for them eventually!
Maybe even double check with them what their triggers are, and let them go into the room first before bed and have them point out to you what needs changed. Remind them that YOU want them to feel safe, and tell them at a comfortable for both parties level if you have any personal experience with certain traumas.
Another tip if someone is hurt by combing the hair. Start brushing from the bottom :)
First, i want to hear morw of this silly frog. Second, first foster kid we had was a child of neglect. He had learned to not poop until bathtime. Then as soon as he was in the tub, he poop. That was always exciting. We almost had him potty trained before DHS found dad.
Ive been watching your vids for a while, because my partner and I want to foster, and ive been loving every video and how much makes so much sense to me as a psych major. But this video really got me. I was 4 when i went into the system and never really had a home like this, they werent twrrible, and i didnt really devwlop any kinds of these issues until later down the line, but seeing someone care about their startling, and the discomfort with jew people. This one made me cry. thank you for your love.
My biological mother wouldn’t treat me like that, but then again we really were treated like shit back in the day😂
Can't love this video enough. Thank you
on the one hand we need more foster parents on the other hand an unrelated property can prevent you from fostering
The trauma-informed parenting makes me cry everytime. If only all parents were like you and did their research.
Watching your videos really brings home how vulnerable these little kids are. It's extremely frightening to think that some of the homes are going into are not like yours. Oh Lord help them.
I always saw the brand names as meaning I was "worth" the extra money- even if they tasted pretty much the same. After a bit I stopped caring, but it really helped me feel valued.
I dotn let anyone touch my hair cause when I was younger my hair would get really and since I didn’t like brushing it as no one knew I had curly hair or how to care for it so mainly my grandmas would brush my hair and they would always say do I kept crying they’d give me a reason to cry or when I was younger my mom would hit me on the head for crying you want em to do that to you turns out I’m tender headed and they were litterly ripping though my hair now I don’t let anyone near my hair so
You always slay Laura
I’m an adult and I still sleep with a nightlight. I have a strange visual issue at night and if it is too dark with no other light source, my vision will be a very painful wall of green that I cannot see past. It feels like my head is being stomped on by elephants and that I’m trying to look through jars of green slime. It resides for a few minutes even after there is a light on and it can be so scary to be completely blind when there is light. Sleeping with a nightlight and never being in a pitch black room seems to help though and I haven’t been without light ever since. I even have motion detecting lights in my home so when it is dark, they will turn on as I pass them and allow me to safely navigate since I can’t see anything in the dark, not even my hand half an inch from my face. It is not just children who have a fear or problem with the dark. It can be anyone!
I know the feeling...But you know what works for my kid? Might work for yours, is I buy a bag of stir fry, rice stir fry, teriyaki. And I remove the frozen vegetables, and toward the end of cooking the stir fry, I add fresh finely chopped broccoli and you can add another veggie, too if you want. And I lightly cook it towards the end. Just barely. I use a very good teriyaki sauce. And she eats it right up.
i noticed that in the not ideal scenarios you talk a lot like "WE don't do x, WE need to do y" when it really means the child. its unnerving! i really appreciate the use of clear language in the experienced scenarios :)
I'm not sure fi anyone wants to address the elephant in the room when it comes to something like "soccer camp" that's expensive, but it would be interesting to see foster parent education like this actually over it since it's something foster youth frequently encounter where there isn't enough money to pay for something like that. I wish there was more effort to help provide scholarship and funding for foster youth to do activities like that, but I've seen foster parents argue that their bio kids will be jealous that the foster placements get things that they don't or those things might not be available if they return to their parents and the parent can't afford it.
No trauma here but my hair is long, thick, and just wavy enough to tangle like hell if not looked after for a few days. My mom used to brush it in the mornings before school and, due to time restraints, would always do it quickly. Not too brutal, mind, but it still stung a bit. Now, I use a comb instead, and just tease out any tangles very gently. So routine that it's quick for me to do as well, with none of the pain. Once when I wake up so it's good for the day, and once when I go to bed so it's easy to tackle in the morning (I actually find it tangles more throughout the course of the day than when I'm asleep!). If going out for any nice occasions, comb again just so it looks best. If you're able to spare the time it's definitely my preferred way of detangling
Me realizing my bf does this for me with the gatherings, food (other video I saw of you), and etc. because my parents are ab-sive
Thank you! That “no food in the room” rule was a losing battle. Also, yeah, I’m glad I fought for their camp. Their behavior has completely changed-they are so happy every day now! They’re more helpful and affectionate in the house now, and have begun to go outside with their friends instead of just talking to people online in the house all day. They have been apathetic towards everything all year. Going to this camp-the one thing they actually seemed to want to do-really was critical to their mental health. They’re even doing their summer school homework without complaint! 😃
Thank you for sharing this experience! Normalcy is so important and so beneficial for kids. If you don't schedule in these activities, they won't ever happen.
@@foster.parenting Yes. Their school and CYF had wanted them to attend the school’s summer program for troubled youth, but I had felt all year that they weren’t happy with the school’s specialized in-house services, so I fought for my teen to get their first job- working at a normal summer camp. They have really blossomed during this last month! I have never felt more certain that I made the right decision. 😃❤️
Sounds like it was totally the right call! Kids, especially teenagers, thrive when they are able to help someone rather than just be helped. You're basically saying "hey, I believe in you, you can do this thing that you want to achieve", and how powerful is that!!
@@Janne_Mai Thank you! I hadn’t thought about it that way!
All good except you making healthy fresh veggies turn into a salty fat laden ranch dressing...gross
CRINGE
I want to hear more about the bacon burgers
I love these videos because the first example seems totally reasonable, if you werent aware if a more trauma informed approach. You just simply wouldnt know that it could be harmful/unhelpful if you werent educated otherwise. It shows that we could all make these mistakes and provides simple alternatives with the childs needs in mind
I really like how you make comparison examples. They are informative thnxu
Ty for watching!
I love the food bin for the kids’ room. This has got to be so validating and comforting! And working the schedule so that camp can happen is wonderful!
I’ve never had a foster parent but my dad used to ask us (my sister and me) which name we liked for the protagonist. He said that is for the kids to interact more or to have a little connection to the story ❤
😢 in my foster home experience we had to sneak food because all the foster mom gave us was cereal one day a week and then quickly take us out to eat before the caseworker showed up so it looked like we were being fed thankfully a manager was able to contact the authority and they told her of 6 kids are to much give up her fostering to not doing it or say she can only house 1-2
Every child deserves that kind of emotional safety 💔
It might sound strange. But how ranch tastes like? Iam from Czech Republic and we don't have it here and I always imagine it like a custard maybe with some herbs 🤔
Anyone watch dumping ground or Tracy beaker
Being a person who has been threw foster care wish they did this stuff.
Give some brat a menu like he's ordering at a restaurant. Great