I feel like Im hypersexual due to physical and mental abuse, because honestly i feel like being touched gently in privates, feel way better then being grabbed aggressively or hit hard, or being called names, also i was abandoned so makes me feel like im getting comforted attention.
@thelittleetherealghost22 күн бұрын
Hypersexualization in the way I view myself, my worth (I’ve attributed my worth entirely to sex appeal and to hyoersexualizing myself, to my body). THANK YOU for talking about this, I agree so much, NO ONE talks about this and I just don’t understand why- it’s such a confusing and degrading thing to do to yourself and so much self loathing is involved, at least for me… and when no one talks about it, it’s hard to know how to process and heal from it
@LisaLisa00128 күн бұрын
Ditto. Verbatim. Geez. ❤ Thank you for articulating this so well, and with all of the answers. ❤
@bigtavi6679Ай бұрын
I had said yes but I didn’t wanted it then he going around and saying I want it when I was showing him signs i didn’t want it was that rape ?
@asiamayneАй бұрын
I have a rule now... if i have to say no twice.. i dont care if its 6 months apart from the time you first asked.. im cutting you off. I think another thing we as survivors struggle with is the contact suggesting and asking after we have said no multiple times.. and then we give in.. and because we finally consented its technically not "grape" .... but to me this is coercion. I can honestly but tragically say that the last few intimate partners i have had were coercion because i remember telling them no a few times.. two of them just took the lead and took it .. and a one just kept asking.. i only remember rarely where it was mutually initiated.
@boardsofwoodАй бұрын
I know a young girl who is in the very early stages of going through this and has opened up to me. Videos like this help but I still feel out of my depth in being able to help her.
@teravera92342 ай бұрын
Thank you girls for the courage to share🧡💚💙💜
@elisaferzacca17752 ай бұрын
What a wondetful session. You are both so articulate. I have tapped with Brad many times but had never heatd this particular explanation of the meridians.and what tapping is designed to do. Thank you!
@AnimalSpirit7773 ай бұрын
Wow i resonate with this. I got r'ped when inwas 15 by a 23 yr old when i was very intoxicated. After that it sent me spiralling into re creating these toxic sexual experiences that chipped away at my soul. 31 now and have finally started healing .. ❤
@TheLuckyCassie3 ай бұрын
<3 <3 <3
@courtport69573 ай бұрын
I have never related to something more. Thank you for your transparency. This is an issue I’ve been stuffing down for years as I’ve been happily married for years. So I thought there’s no reason to feel the consequences of it anymore but in reality it deeply affects sex in my marriage. He may not know it but I’m extremely dissociated. And I finally got to a point where I’m ready to face down the demons. I had no idea I would find so many people in the same boat.
@TheLuckyCassie4 ай бұрын
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@AwakeningSoul58424 ай бұрын
Great video, thank you so much for sharing. Your bravery goes way beyond mine, and I applaud you for helping to raise awareness of this incredibly sad and complex issue. I have a question - I recently started dating a girl, after a period of celibacy and addressing / reframing my own hypersexual beliefs. The hypersexual behaviour she exhibits is at odds with my newfound values (taking time to truly get to know someone, without the clouding thinking that comes from hypersexualised behaviour), and I am on the verge of breaking things off. She disclosed to me that she is herself an assault survivor, and seeing this video makes it all make sense. Before I break it off, is there anything I can do to help? I understand that the answer is likely ‘no’ and that it is a realisation she needs to reach in her own time (if ever 😢). Just thought I’d try and leave no stone unturned before I do, because I actually quite like her 😊. Thanks for your help!
@sharonparker71484 ай бұрын
Yes yes yes until menopause than I didn’t want to be touched at all. My husband is wonderful and understands. He also has a very bad heart and can’t have sex either. I also fantasized about weird stuff very weird. But I never faked organism. It has taken me years. I am 73 now my rage is finally gone. I got saved by Jesus at 37 it took him awhile to get through my thick scull. I used drugs to numb my pain. Sexual abuse by a dad is terrible but Jesus is a healer
@user-em3fe2es1v4 ай бұрын
OH MY GOD! well that explains alot. Wow...I would always have sex and I was really hyper after being sexually abused. I went into a fantasy world and would always end up fantasizing about a character I liked. I would be turned on and off. I always thought i had to open my legs to please a man and to keep them around. I would instantly lose interest in them. I havent had sex in a year after my trauma with previous ex's and now I can't stand the fact of having sex.
@susanagamboa53874 ай бұрын
I feel completely identified with your history!! It is really hard to real geal the sexual abuse, only the ones we experienced we know about the real pain around this... I cover my dad sexual abuse for year, it happen when I was 15th..I completely hipersexulized the way to feel me love and care in life... my only value it was the good sex and pleasure I offered to my partners.. at 36 I went to the opposite side.. no desire... and is when I star to figure out something was wrong with me... I always feel a "free woman" because of my sexuality, it was a chase fortunately when this happens I was more aware about body, mind and spirit...emotions and mote connect with my body, I start a healing journey.. still after 10 years... I experience some triggers situations with man's and I reconnect with the anger and all my reality change...because we are just vibration and energy...this day I'm working deeply one more time... I don't want to live in survived mode...I deserve a better life full of love and respect...the journey continue, not being a victim for sure just an observer... it is a journey of self compassion ✨️ ❤️ love for all of us✨️
@antoineallen15544 ай бұрын
my girlfriend one day just blerted out that she thinks she slept with over two hundred men...i just listened but her story was so twisted and after listening to you i realize that maybe she doesnt even like sex...and she has tried everything i dont know what i am suppose to do
@SurvivorRevive4 ай бұрын
Communicate with her. Everyone is different so, you won't find the answers you are looking for on the internet. Only she can provide the information that you are seeking.
@cordellacampbell46684 ай бұрын
Im a 58 year old woman who is still doing these things..I need help!!!
@beataannanowak6594 ай бұрын
Rape culture in the USA protects rapists. I was a high school student. It was not my fault .
@elyzabeth56715 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing your experience, it makes a huge difference for thousands of people who try to make sense out of their situation. I can relate to this very much. Everything points that I was molested as a child. Also I've been targeted by pedos online throughout childhood, experienced 2 rape attemps and grooming (online, but it could get painfully real if I was not that corrupted and cynical already). All of those happened before I was 13. And I feel like I've been in hypersexualized stage from the moment I remember myself till 13, when shutdown happened. Always seeking for relationship, constantly making sexual jokes, trying to make men feel this way towards me as a joke/display of power, even registering on tinder when I was around 12. And the worst thing is that I was very much aware. Although I've been feeding on other's sexual attention, I've never felt this way towards them. It seemed absurd to me. So I started to think that I'm asexual. I never understood sex and I still don't. Then horrible shutdown happened when I was 13, I couldn't look at myself naked, and had very hard time accepting that I was a woman. I tried to have some sexual relationship with women online (I was 14 at this point) , and although this time my active will and consent was involved, I still felt very odd. I pretended to understand and enjoy sexual things, but it felt pathetic and miserable. So I stopped trying altogether. I'm 19 at the moment, I get help from psychotherapist and use medications for depression and anxiety. The funny thing is that though I'm an adult now, I feel like my perception of sexuality didn't change much since I was 9, and it's a very concerning thought. I'm not sure if I'm actually asexual, and I want to try to make love with someone I'll truly love and who will love and appreciate me in return, but it's nearly impossible because of the circumstances that surround me at the moment. I want to heal. But it feels like I will need years of hard work to understand myself and be able to have healthy wholesome relationship.
@JessaM83385 ай бұрын
This was really informative - thank you so much. I’ve struggled with aspect of my life for so long. ♥️💜
@SurvivorRevive5 ай бұрын
Glad you found it helpful!
@ms.wealthyy5 ай бұрын
😞
@24TT425 ай бұрын
I was molested by my own father from 6 to 17. I got pregnant with his child at 14 and had a miscarriage. My mom knew it was going on and doesn’t admit it to this day that she knew. With all the said, my adult sex life had porn star moments, and the next day would have me in tears because that person didn’t love me. I thought sex equaled love because that’s what I was taught. And I didn’t want somebody to prove they didn’t love me so I gave them sex. Willingly. Now, at 51, I am learning to love myself with God‘s help. Celibacy is the best thing you can possibly do for yourself to learn how to love and be loved to learn how to respect yourself properly and have good boundaries. Follow how God wants you to live your life and everything will fall into place. He knows best. He made us.
@Dayana-mk5ch5 ай бұрын
It’s awful what you’ve been through. Anne Stirling Hastings (PhD) is a professional that may help you with the residual damage/trauma. I really appreciate her books, as someone who has been traumatized due to some invasion of personal boundaries (no touching in “those” places but for me it was my dad 👎 touching my feet & nibbling on my ears without consent that gave me trauma), & being sexualized on many occasions even though I never wore eye-catching, sexy clothing. Never. How could I after my first time being sexualized just for wearing a normal skirt at age 9? To this day I can’t express feeling like I have been harmed by my dad, even though I was, because of how sneaky he was with it- he almost fully convinces me that he wasn’t perverted/didn’t ever have sexual feelings towards me/didn’t ever sexualize me, but he just shut down while he did those things, so he convinced himself that he wasn’t sexualizing me, meanwhile he actually was- if that makes sense. You see, that’s why the work of Anne is so healing. This stuff is painful & hard to validate & live with. It needs to be addressed or else it keeps ruining our lives in some way- even subconsciously. I have distanced myself from my dad, and my mom, since she didn’t care for me & has unhealthy ways of thinking that I want to stay away from (such as giving me the advice of getting a boyfriend and having sex in order to heal my relationship to sex. No thank you, I’d rather heal while being celibate & reading Anne’s books & using her advice).
@24TT425 ай бұрын
@@Dayana-mk5ch I totally understand what you’re saying. I experienced a lot of psychological trauma. It’s like when somebody looks at you like you’re the crazy one and it’s your fault. I know what you mean. Thank you so much for tipping me off to Anne’s work. I will check that out for sure, none of us deserved to be sexualized. I never wore slinky clothing either. I didn’t deserve it and neither did you. We know that it’s just picking up the pieces like you said, and not going out in society with those burdens showing. And being a target again for someone else. I hope everything goes fantastic for you and thank you for your reply. Blessings to you. By the way, you are absolutely correct in saying that subconsciously we are affected. I know that to be true. Anyhow, take good care of yourself.
@sharonwilliams40325 ай бұрын
Both I have experience and i didn't even know this exist now im researching what im feeling after my sexual abuse at 12 now im 42 i previously had sexual experiences that wasn't fulfilling because of the childhood experiences of molestation now im forgiving myself practicing self control not date anyone not sexual or masterbation anything to really heal and gain knowledge and understanding about self. Thanks for the video god bless. I love that being a sexual survivor led me here as an adult
@jessicanewell68255 ай бұрын
I turned to hypsexuality. I'm now 34 and still dealing with these issues.
@algaedrone18335 ай бұрын
I agree 100% with Manda’s description at the start: “if it’s not an enthusiastic yes, it’s really a no.” But it’s a heartbreaking reminder for me, tbh. Because some people like me are so disgusting and repulsive that no one would ever give an enthusiastic yes. I’m not looking for sympathy or anything lol, it’s just a hard fact of life that some people need to live with. Anyways, great video, Extremely important!
@sinead.5 ай бұрын
WORD
@cindihunter91196 ай бұрын
This is due to dysfunction within Families, and corporations. Lack of empathy is the issue here ...
@jilladelyn6 ай бұрын
This is so accurate. I was raped when I was 15. It was the absolute worst. I covered my body for the first several years. I became hyper sexualized. I was recently raped again and I’m 50. I’m suffering greatly. I’ve gained weight, have CPTSD and these awful experiences lead to epic health issues. I’m glad you addressed this. No one talks about this aspect of this end result we acquire via sexual trauma.
@marleecurnow970Ай бұрын
i’m sorry you had to go through that in the first place let alone all over again. you’re not alone ❤️🩹
@sensualkiwi18786 ай бұрын
Wooooow. I relate to this so much and you really make me want to share my story.
@nuez237476 ай бұрын
Thats called Sex co-dependency. I have attracted all my life sex addicts no matter if on dating apps or just outdoors, on trips always. Until i was raped, that was the turning point. I believe it can be traced back to narcissistic parents, They also taught me to obbey men to serve men regardless of my needs, my No-s were always unaccepted i was punished when i once said no. There was that book in a clinic the addict and the codependent. I realized it, i was feeling unloved unworthy of love, so i tried to fix all being brave and giving lots of sex. It was like she said, never for my own pleasure, it was just to please them, to make them stay, to stop them from abusing me verbally as many of my exes were narcissists. It was a control mechanism ti feel alive. I went to SLAA only at the peak of my suffering when i was raped. I understood that they were sick sex addiction is not sth to ignore or cure by itself. All were from highly abusive backgrounds. Then i realized I was sex co-dependent, so thata why i ended up with such. After 7 years meetings, I stopped being sex-codependent. Unfortunately, there were sexual abuse and molestation from friends involved, so again the topic narcissism. But i never acted out again. I can recommend anyone SLAA meetings. Its so painful to realize your addictive to pleasing people, but its the turning point. I think 2 major life events can cause sex co-dependence, child sexual abuse as it mistakes it for love and overcompensate it to feel better(self-loothing mechanism) or narcissistic abuse from both parents or especially from the parent of the opposite gender. Was the father a narcissist, the girl will internalize shes only worthy when she gives all of what she doesnt even have, foreign possession of there thoughts, feelings throught the parent. So, it cant be helped until you get to the core where it started. Then she has to rewrite the wrong core beliefs, shes lovable etc. by playing it that way until she believes it
@WadeLife7 ай бұрын
Was sexually abused when I was 8-10 years old, which has led to chronic gratification issues into my adult life. I received therapy very briefly, but unfortunately, not long enough, it's definitely from the sexual abuse I received at 43 finally seeking the appropriate help, my question is from the abuse did a certain part of my brain break the off switch so constant always in the mood and no I never have ventured out of my current marriage it's just the self gratification issue thank god...
@mirandao47487 ай бұрын
Hypersexual is someone whos slutty but in a nicer word term i suppose
@SurvivorRevive7 ай бұрын
Oh look, a woman slut-shaming another woman. How 1980's of you. Girl, get to your healing work. You clearly need it.
@SurvivorRevive7 ай бұрын
As a survivor, how to you define a safe relationship? Comment below to join the conversation! 👇👇
@tellurye7 ай бұрын
Thanks so much for this. Mine is really weird. It would be normal and healthy for about a year and a half...exactly. Seriously, always a year and a half. Then I would lose interest and turn to porn. Like how weird, right? Here I have a loyal loving partner... and instead of the real thing I turn to porn? So weird. What sucks for me is Im a guy - so there are no resources for men. And you cant just go into random therapy because I would be a trigger - all the classes are for women, and most of their abusers were male. So yeah - definitely can t go into one of those. So the internet is really the only place. So when I shared that I was molested for about 2 years since age 8, I was ready for punishment. All the keyboard warriors you know just saying cruel stuff - I was ready for it. But here's what shocked me: I thought for sure the men were going to be the mean ones and the women would be nice LOL. Oh man, it was the other way around. Every single negative comment, believe it or not, was from a woman. Not a single man had anything negative. Every single man wished me well, was sorry to hear that, etc. And there were some women who were nice as well. But not a single negative comment was from a guy; it was ALL from women. They'd write things like that I was a cuck and a simp, that I was gay, that I asked for it (yeah because a lot of 8 yr olds ask for sex (rolls eyes)) that they were glad I was raped because men rape women all the time, so its about time men were raped, etc. I mean just unreal. All that matters is that my wife is super understanding and supportive. My loved ones are there for me when I need them, and when I think about it, that's really all I need. God bless to you and all who endure this. It sure is one helluva weird and not fun ride, that's for sure.
@paulforster94327 ай бұрын
Bless your heart, this video must have cost you, thanks ❤
@carriesmith34217 ай бұрын
Thank you ladies for sharing. I am doing EMDR right now and the thing I am having the worst time figuring out is why I loved and devoted myself to my parents. Who did not believe that I was being tortured with SA by my own brother and sister who were 2 and 7 years older then me. I was 6 at the time. My parents were never home and went away for weeks at a time for business trips. There were many incidents that they witnessed to show them I was not safe alone with them. But they did nothing. I was forced to shove it down my whole life. I am struggling to figure out why I loved them.
@angelagray20597 ай бұрын
I was told by a therapist almost 15 years ago, that I was sexually promiscuous as a reaction to my sexual trauma. A way to take my power back. It shocked me so much that I guess I put it in the back of my mind till 3 years ago when one of the young girls in my family came forward with sexual abuse by a very close family member, which opened the door for several other victims to come forward. It was like I could feel my mind break as this all came out. It shut me down sexually for 3 years now. It has been so hard! But it also gave me space and time to look back over my life and recognize that I had not handled my trauma and I was not the sexually open-minded healthy, in tune with my self woman I thought I was, said I was. I still didn't have the language to explain this to myself or anyone else. TILL THIS VIDEO!!!! I have never heard another woman speak like this. Never knew this was a "thing." I'm so raw right now!!! Thank you!!! What do I do now, though???? I have gone from one extreme to another...... HELP, PLEASE!!!!
@annastone56247 ай бұрын
🙏🏻🌸
@annastone56247 ай бұрын
I’m amazed I find so little on this subject on you tube. Sexual assault and dysmorphia, it must be a common symptom if assault.
@janetrowe1867 ай бұрын
Both are good...both work..at times I rather go with Robert quick 7 step one.then at times I go with brad..I go slow...I also listen to reiki music..so I have several diferent ways to feel better..reiki music can dissolve toxins in my body..
@janetrowe1867 ай бұрын
I tap with BradYates alot.so much more..I enjoy how he does it.he is slow so I can take my time..I believe it works very well..I'd say I've tapped with Brad much more even more than Robert..I do my own tapping but my steps are the 7 step one..with Brad you start karate chop( even though ) 3 x..then eye brow.side of eye.under eye.top of lip.on chin.collar bone..then one hand grab other wrist.with taking in deep breath at same time..then release breath same time release grip on wrist. Say peace
@janetrowe1867 ай бұрын
I enjoy the 7 step tape by RibertGSmith which is quick
@linnflame7 ай бұрын
thank you so much for this, this hits home
@fabianshedenhelm29867 ай бұрын
I instead became someone of major aversion, 8 long years took a big toll [was 12 at the time]. I've been trying to fix all I can, sadly some things are still normalized in my mind. I've been working on bettering myself. I don't blame them for what they did as they were also a very hurt individual as well. I cannot remember most things unless if I re-exposed myself to the messages leading to it.
@LizzieCATs388 ай бұрын
This is going to sound so bad, but I wished I could've been hypersexual bc after I was CSA for years and later SA as an adult I struggled with the opposite of hypersexual and I got so mad at myself for being so frightened bc I hated myself for it for a long time.
@Luvvserena11110 күн бұрын
I experienced both hypersexual and the opposite and neither was better they both suck 😭
@victoriavitoroulis32738 ай бұрын
I agree with the ladies .. being hyper sexual I thought it was a power trip but it really wasn’t it was insecurities .. I realized : if it’s a power trip why do I need a buzz to have sex . And it doesn’t help when your bi polar it’s a bi product of my sexual abuser
@janetrowe1868 ай бұрын
I went through stuff as child in my past..
@janetrowe1868 ай бұрын
I tape with BradYates all the time.
@SnepperStepTV8 ай бұрын
I've been aware what i do, but i wasn't aware why. I've been doing it like this all my life, since my abuse came when i was very young. But the thing is, sex itself is not interesting to me at all. I don't like anything in me or to put myself into them either. If not for the way I manage it, I'd be completely Ace. Its actually that fantasy that appeals to me, and getting there. I've gravitated towards people who feel more like i do and have found healthy ways of doing so. As it stands I'm what's called gray ace, or asexual but still interested in kink and fetish play. But i know what i like and i know what i don't like. I have hard limits on what i will engage with in a partner. Sex this was works much better for me and the way i am with people anyways because i can just go "i'd be having a better time by myself" and move on. Sure, sex is disconnected from intimacy, so what? So I dig (furry) porn, so what? Its all i've ever known and i've never envied any other way of having it. i know how to manage the way i am in any space i'm in, so the vibe of it all is just part of who i am. Basically, i've discovered how to have a healthy relationship with these feelings and myself about them as the framework "skeleton" of my sexuality, meanwhile still engaging in the aesthetics of the way I'd engaged with sexuality previously. It works for me and my partners, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Пікірлер
I feel like Im hypersexual due to physical and mental abuse, because honestly i feel like being touched gently in privates, feel way better then being grabbed aggressively or hit hard, or being called names, also i was abandoned so makes me feel like im getting comforted attention.
Hypersexualization in the way I view myself, my worth (I’ve attributed my worth entirely to sex appeal and to hyoersexualizing myself, to my body). THANK YOU for talking about this, I agree so much, NO ONE talks about this and I just don’t understand why- it’s such a confusing and degrading thing to do to yourself and so much self loathing is involved, at least for me… and when no one talks about it, it’s hard to know how to process and heal from it
Ditto. Verbatim. Geez. ❤ Thank you for articulating this so well, and with all of the answers. ❤
I had said yes but I didn’t wanted it then he going around and saying I want it when I was showing him signs i didn’t want it was that rape ?
I have a rule now... if i have to say no twice.. i dont care if its 6 months apart from the time you first asked.. im cutting you off. I think another thing we as survivors struggle with is the contact suggesting and asking after we have said no multiple times.. and then we give in.. and because we finally consented its technically not "grape" .... but to me this is coercion. I can honestly but tragically say that the last few intimate partners i have had were coercion because i remember telling them no a few times.. two of them just took the lead and took it .. and a one just kept asking.. i only remember rarely where it was mutually initiated.
I know a young girl who is in the very early stages of going through this and has opened up to me. Videos like this help but I still feel out of my depth in being able to help her.
Thank you girls for the courage to share🧡💚💙💜
What a wondetful session. You are both so articulate. I have tapped with Brad many times but had never heatd this particular explanation of the meridians.and what tapping is designed to do. Thank you!
Wow i resonate with this. I got r'ped when inwas 15 by a 23 yr old when i was very intoxicated. After that it sent me spiralling into re creating these toxic sexual experiences that chipped away at my soul. 31 now and have finally started healing .. ❤
<3 <3 <3
I have never related to something more. Thank you for your transparency. This is an issue I’ve been stuffing down for years as I’ve been happily married for years. So I thought there’s no reason to feel the consequences of it anymore but in reality it deeply affects sex in my marriage. He may not know it but I’m extremely dissociated. And I finally got to a point where I’m ready to face down the demons. I had no idea I would find so many people in the same boat.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Great video, thank you so much for sharing. Your bravery goes way beyond mine, and I applaud you for helping to raise awareness of this incredibly sad and complex issue. I have a question - I recently started dating a girl, after a period of celibacy and addressing / reframing my own hypersexual beliefs. The hypersexual behaviour she exhibits is at odds with my newfound values (taking time to truly get to know someone, without the clouding thinking that comes from hypersexualised behaviour), and I am on the verge of breaking things off. She disclosed to me that she is herself an assault survivor, and seeing this video makes it all make sense. Before I break it off, is there anything I can do to help? I understand that the answer is likely ‘no’ and that it is a realisation she needs to reach in her own time (if ever 😢). Just thought I’d try and leave no stone unturned before I do, because I actually quite like her 😊. Thanks for your help!
Yes yes yes until menopause than I didn’t want to be touched at all. My husband is wonderful and understands. He also has a very bad heart and can’t have sex either. I also fantasized about weird stuff very weird. But I never faked organism. It has taken me years. I am 73 now my rage is finally gone. I got saved by Jesus at 37 it took him awhile to get through my thick scull. I used drugs to numb my pain. Sexual abuse by a dad is terrible but Jesus is a healer
OH MY GOD! well that explains alot. Wow...I would always have sex and I was really hyper after being sexually abused. I went into a fantasy world and would always end up fantasizing about a character I liked. I would be turned on and off. I always thought i had to open my legs to please a man and to keep them around. I would instantly lose interest in them. I havent had sex in a year after my trauma with previous ex's and now I can't stand the fact of having sex.
I feel completely identified with your history!! It is really hard to real geal the sexual abuse, only the ones we experienced we know about the real pain around this... I cover my dad sexual abuse for year, it happen when I was 15th..I completely hipersexulized the way to feel me love and care in life... my only value it was the good sex and pleasure I offered to my partners.. at 36 I went to the opposite side.. no desire... and is when I star to figure out something was wrong with me... I always feel a "free woman" because of my sexuality, it was a chase fortunately when this happens I was more aware about body, mind and spirit...emotions and mote connect with my body, I start a healing journey.. still after 10 years... I experience some triggers situations with man's and I reconnect with the anger and all my reality change...because we are just vibration and energy...this day I'm working deeply one more time... I don't want to live in survived mode...I deserve a better life full of love and respect...the journey continue, not being a victim for sure just an observer... it is a journey of self compassion ✨️ ❤️ love for all of us✨️
my girlfriend one day just blerted out that she thinks she slept with over two hundred men...i just listened but her story was so twisted and after listening to you i realize that maybe she doesnt even like sex...and she has tried everything i dont know what i am suppose to do
Communicate with her. Everyone is different so, you won't find the answers you are looking for on the internet. Only she can provide the information that you are seeking.
Im a 58 year old woman who is still doing these things..I need help!!!
Rape culture in the USA protects rapists. I was a high school student. It was not my fault .
Thanks for sharing your experience, it makes a huge difference for thousands of people who try to make sense out of their situation. I can relate to this very much. Everything points that I was molested as a child. Also I've been targeted by pedos online throughout childhood, experienced 2 rape attemps and grooming (online, but it could get painfully real if I was not that corrupted and cynical already). All of those happened before I was 13. And I feel like I've been in hypersexualized stage from the moment I remember myself till 13, when shutdown happened. Always seeking for relationship, constantly making sexual jokes, trying to make men feel this way towards me as a joke/display of power, even registering on tinder when I was around 12. And the worst thing is that I was very much aware. Although I've been feeding on other's sexual attention, I've never felt this way towards them. It seemed absurd to me. So I started to think that I'm asexual. I never understood sex and I still don't. Then horrible shutdown happened when I was 13, I couldn't look at myself naked, and had very hard time accepting that I was a woman. I tried to have some sexual relationship with women online (I was 14 at this point) , and although this time my active will and consent was involved, I still felt very odd. I pretended to understand and enjoy sexual things, but it felt pathetic and miserable. So I stopped trying altogether. I'm 19 at the moment, I get help from psychotherapist and use medications for depression and anxiety. The funny thing is that though I'm an adult now, I feel like my perception of sexuality didn't change much since I was 9, and it's a very concerning thought. I'm not sure if I'm actually asexual, and I want to try to make love with someone I'll truly love and who will love and appreciate me in return, but it's nearly impossible because of the circumstances that surround me at the moment. I want to heal. But it feels like I will need years of hard work to understand myself and be able to have healthy wholesome relationship.
This was really informative - thank you so much. I’ve struggled with aspect of my life for so long. ♥️💜
Glad you found it helpful!
😞
I was molested by my own father from 6 to 17. I got pregnant with his child at 14 and had a miscarriage. My mom knew it was going on and doesn’t admit it to this day that she knew. With all the said, my adult sex life had porn star moments, and the next day would have me in tears because that person didn’t love me. I thought sex equaled love because that’s what I was taught. And I didn’t want somebody to prove they didn’t love me so I gave them sex. Willingly. Now, at 51, I am learning to love myself with God‘s help. Celibacy is the best thing you can possibly do for yourself to learn how to love and be loved to learn how to respect yourself properly and have good boundaries. Follow how God wants you to live your life and everything will fall into place. He knows best. He made us.
It’s awful what you’ve been through. Anne Stirling Hastings (PhD) is a professional that may help you with the residual damage/trauma. I really appreciate her books, as someone who has been traumatized due to some invasion of personal boundaries (no touching in “those” places but for me it was my dad 👎 touching my feet & nibbling on my ears without consent that gave me trauma), & being sexualized on many occasions even though I never wore eye-catching, sexy clothing. Never. How could I after my first time being sexualized just for wearing a normal skirt at age 9? To this day I can’t express feeling like I have been harmed by my dad, even though I was, because of how sneaky he was with it- he almost fully convinces me that he wasn’t perverted/didn’t ever have sexual feelings towards me/didn’t ever sexualize me, but he just shut down while he did those things, so he convinced himself that he wasn’t sexualizing me, meanwhile he actually was- if that makes sense. You see, that’s why the work of Anne is so healing. This stuff is painful & hard to validate & live with. It needs to be addressed or else it keeps ruining our lives in some way- even subconsciously. I have distanced myself from my dad, and my mom, since she didn’t care for me & has unhealthy ways of thinking that I want to stay away from (such as giving me the advice of getting a boyfriend and having sex in order to heal my relationship to sex. No thank you, I’d rather heal while being celibate & reading Anne’s books & using her advice).
@@Dayana-mk5ch I totally understand what you’re saying. I experienced a lot of psychological trauma. It’s like when somebody looks at you like you’re the crazy one and it’s your fault. I know what you mean. Thank you so much for tipping me off to Anne’s work. I will check that out for sure, none of us deserved to be sexualized. I never wore slinky clothing either. I didn’t deserve it and neither did you. We know that it’s just picking up the pieces like you said, and not going out in society with those burdens showing. And being a target again for someone else. I hope everything goes fantastic for you and thank you for your reply. Blessings to you. By the way, you are absolutely correct in saying that subconsciously we are affected. I know that to be true. Anyhow, take good care of yourself.
Both I have experience and i didn't even know this exist now im researching what im feeling after my sexual abuse at 12 now im 42 i previously had sexual experiences that wasn't fulfilling because of the childhood experiences of molestation now im forgiving myself practicing self control not date anyone not sexual or masterbation anything to really heal and gain knowledge and understanding about self. Thanks for the video god bless. I love that being a sexual survivor led me here as an adult
I turned to hypsexuality. I'm now 34 and still dealing with these issues.
I agree 100% with Manda’s description at the start: “if it’s not an enthusiastic yes, it’s really a no.” But it’s a heartbreaking reminder for me, tbh. Because some people like me are so disgusting and repulsive that no one would ever give an enthusiastic yes. I’m not looking for sympathy or anything lol, it’s just a hard fact of life that some people need to live with. Anyways, great video, Extremely important!
WORD
This is due to dysfunction within Families, and corporations. Lack of empathy is the issue here ...
This is so accurate. I was raped when I was 15. It was the absolute worst. I covered my body for the first several years. I became hyper sexualized. I was recently raped again and I’m 50. I’m suffering greatly. I’ve gained weight, have CPTSD and these awful experiences lead to epic health issues. I’m glad you addressed this. No one talks about this aspect of this end result we acquire via sexual trauma.
i’m sorry you had to go through that in the first place let alone all over again. you’re not alone ❤️🩹
Wooooow. I relate to this so much and you really make me want to share my story.
Thats called Sex co-dependency. I have attracted all my life sex addicts no matter if on dating apps or just outdoors, on trips always. Until i was raped, that was the turning point. I believe it can be traced back to narcissistic parents, They also taught me to obbey men to serve men regardless of my needs, my No-s were always unaccepted i was punished when i once said no. There was that book in a clinic the addict and the codependent. I realized it, i was feeling unloved unworthy of love, so i tried to fix all being brave and giving lots of sex. It was like she said, never for my own pleasure, it was just to please them, to make them stay, to stop them from abusing me verbally as many of my exes were narcissists. It was a control mechanism ti feel alive. I went to SLAA only at the peak of my suffering when i was raped. I understood that they were sick sex addiction is not sth to ignore or cure by itself. All were from highly abusive backgrounds. Then i realized I was sex co-dependent, so thata why i ended up with such. After 7 years meetings, I stopped being sex-codependent. Unfortunately, there were sexual abuse and molestation from friends involved, so again the topic narcissism. But i never acted out again. I can recommend anyone SLAA meetings. Its so painful to realize your addictive to pleasing people, but its the turning point. I think 2 major life events can cause sex co-dependence, child sexual abuse as it mistakes it for love and overcompensate it to feel better(self-loothing mechanism) or narcissistic abuse from both parents or especially from the parent of the opposite gender. Was the father a narcissist, the girl will internalize shes only worthy when she gives all of what she doesnt even have, foreign possession of there thoughts, feelings throught the parent. So, it cant be helped until you get to the core where it started. Then she has to rewrite the wrong core beliefs, shes lovable etc. by playing it that way until she believes it
Was sexually abused when I was 8-10 years old, which has led to chronic gratification issues into my adult life. I received therapy very briefly, but unfortunately, not long enough, it's definitely from the sexual abuse I received at 43 finally seeking the appropriate help, my question is from the abuse did a certain part of my brain break the off switch so constant always in the mood and no I never have ventured out of my current marriage it's just the self gratification issue thank god...
Hypersexual is someone whos slutty but in a nicer word term i suppose
Oh look, a woman slut-shaming another woman. How 1980's of you. Girl, get to your healing work. You clearly need it.
As a survivor, how to you define a safe relationship? Comment below to join the conversation! 👇👇
Thanks so much for this. Mine is really weird. It would be normal and healthy for about a year and a half...exactly. Seriously, always a year and a half. Then I would lose interest and turn to porn. Like how weird, right? Here I have a loyal loving partner... and instead of the real thing I turn to porn? So weird. What sucks for me is Im a guy - so there are no resources for men. And you cant just go into random therapy because I would be a trigger - all the classes are for women, and most of their abusers were male. So yeah - definitely can t go into one of those. So the internet is really the only place. So when I shared that I was molested for about 2 years since age 8, I was ready for punishment. All the keyboard warriors you know just saying cruel stuff - I was ready for it. But here's what shocked me: I thought for sure the men were going to be the mean ones and the women would be nice LOL. Oh man, it was the other way around. Every single negative comment, believe it or not, was from a woman. Not a single man had anything negative. Every single man wished me well, was sorry to hear that, etc. And there were some women who were nice as well. But not a single negative comment was from a guy; it was ALL from women. They'd write things like that I was a cuck and a simp, that I was gay, that I asked for it (yeah because a lot of 8 yr olds ask for sex (rolls eyes)) that they were glad I was raped because men rape women all the time, so its about time men were raped, etc. I mean just unreal. All that matters is that my wife is super understanding and supportive. My loved ones are there for me when I need them, and when I think about it, that's really all I need. God bless to you and all who endure this. It sure is one helluva weird and not fun ride, that's for sure.
Bless your heart, this video must have cost you, thanks ❤
Thank you ladies for sharing. I am doing EMDR right now and the thing I am having the worst time figuring out is why I loved and devoted myself to my parents. Who did not believe that I was being tortured with SA by my own brother and sister who were 2 and 7 years older then me. I was 6 at the time. My parents were never home and went away for weeks at a time for business trips. There were many incidents that they witnessed to show them I was not safe alone with them. But they did nothing. I was forced to shove it down my whole life. I am struggling to figure out why I loved them.
I was told by a therapist almost 15 years ago, that I was sexually promiscuous as a reaction to my sexual trauma. A way to take my power back. It shocked me so much that I guess I put it in the back of my mind till 3 years ago when one of the young girls in my family came forward with sexual abuse by a very close family member, which opened the door for several other victims to come forward. It was like I could feel my mind break as this all came out. It shut me down sexually for 3 years now. It has been so hard! But it also gave me space and time to look back over my life and recognize that I had not handled my trauma and I was not the sexually open-minded healthy, in tune with my self woman I thought I was, said I was. I still didn't have the language to explain this to myself or anyone else. TILL THIS VIDEO!!!! I have never heard another woman speak like this. Never knew this was a "thing." I'm so raw right now!!! Thank you!!! What do I do now, though???? I have gone from one extreme to another...... HELP, PLEASE!!!!
🙏🏻🌸
I’m amazed I find so little on this subject on you tube. Sexual assault and dysmorphia, it must be a common symptom if assault.
Both are good...both work..at times I rather go with Robert quick 7 step one.then at times I go with brad..I go slow...I also listen to reiki music..so I have several diferent ways to feel better..reiki music can dissolve toxins in my body..
I tap with BradYates alot.so much more..I enjoy how he does it.he is slow so I can take my time..I believe it works very well..I'd say I've tapped with Brad much more even more than Robert..I do my own tapping but my steps are the 7 step one..with Brad you start karate chop( even though ) 3 x..then eye brow.side of eye.under eye.top of lip.on chin.collar bone..then one hand grab other wrist.with taking in deep breath at same time..then release breath same time release grip on wrist. Say peace
I enjoy the 7 step tape by RibertGSmith which is quick
thank you so much for this, this hits home
I instead became someone of major aversion, 8 long years took a big toll [was 12 at the time]. I've been trying to fix all I can, sadly some things are still normalized in my mind. I've been working on bettering myself. I don't blame them for what they did as they were also a very hurt individual as well. I cannot remember most things unless if I re-exposed myself to the messages leading to it.
This is going to sound so bad, but I wished I could've been hypersexual bc after I was CSA for years and later SA as an adult I struggled with the opposite of hypersexual and I got so mad at myself for being so frightened bc I hated myself for it for a long time.
I experienced both hypersexual and the opposite and neither was better they both suck 😭
I agree with the ladies .. being hyper sexual I thought it was a power trip but it really wasn’t it was insecurities .. I realized : if it’s a power trip why do I need a buzz to have sex . And it doesn’t help when your bi polar it’s a bi product of my sexual abuser
I went through stuff as child in my past..
I tape with BradYates all the time.
I've been aware what i do, but i wasn't aware why. I've been doing it like this all my life, since my abuse came when i was very young. But the thing is, sex itself is not interesting to me at all. I don't like anything in me or to put myself into them either. If not for the way I manage it, I'd be completely Ace. Its actually that fantasy that appeals to me, and getting there. I've gravitated towards people who feel more like i do and have found healthy ways of doing so. As it stands I'm what's called gray ace, or asexual but still interested in kink and fetish play. But i know what i like and i know what i don't like. I have hard limits on what i will engage with in a partner. Sex this was works much better for me and the way i am with people anyways because i can just go "i'd be having a better time by myself" and move on. Sure, sex is disconnected from intimacy, so what? So I dig (furry) porn, so what? Its all i've ever known and i've never envied any other way of having it. i know how to manage the way i am in any space i'm in, so the vibe of it all is just part of who i am. Basically, i've discovered how to have a healthy relationship with these feelings and myself about them as the framework "skeleton" of my sexuality, meanwhile still engaging in the aesthetics of the way I'd engaged with sexuality previously. It works for me and my partners, and I wouldn't have it any other way.