“Do not deprive each other” also includes not masturbating and lusting after other people besides your spouse. How come that verse never seems to be applied that way? 🤔🙄
@bluelynx4493Күн бұрын
Not defining a problem in the solution leaves nothing to be solved.
@jsjoel2Күн бұрын
I’ve probably listened to over 250 PD podcasts and am amazed at the variety of topics they cover. The quality of their guests and the experience and expertise they provide has helped my almost 8 years of recovery beyond words. When they focus on one of the many aspects surrounding the issues connected to sexual addiction and betrayal impacting relationships I gladly receive it and look for ways to improve my story. I also am better equipped to join other guy’s stories and be a better group member and leader. I greatly respect all three guys and the courage they have shown by being involved in what is hardly on anyone’s list of ministries to strive for.
@PureDesireMinistries20 сағат бұрын
Thank you so much!
@joycedickinson5655Күн бұрын
This message is hitting me like a tsunami....in a very good way. I am in the place of the betrayed spouse, and just flailing as I am trying to find a path forward. (Newly discovered extreme porn, along with constant multiple-screen addiction) Thank you, Jenna, for the Christ-centered approach, The power, wisdom, and knowledge to walk ANY of this out comes from that place. I truly am sorry that some may be offended, or just shut these concepts down due to a Yoda figure, Darth Vader, etc. And that this might be a reason to discount the effectiveness of this process as a path toward healing and restoration. I will be scouring your website for resources, Jenna! God's timing is remarkable, as always. I am very curious to know how forward progress in a marriage is affected when a husband has pretty deep-seated narcissistic traits. Lying, to the point that I would never know if I could believe anything he told me regarding accountability, recovery , etc. (accountable to someone else, not myself) Highly unable to admit fault or take responsibility. Blame shifting and flipping most things around to be my fault ,etc. Can't "hear" where he might have a part to play. Seriously wondering if this personality has much hope in recovery.
@robertocadena7Күн бұрын
Hi, I have a question. I’m going thru the pure desire course. God has done a lot in my life in regard to the father wound. I ended up turning to homosexuality as a result of this wound. But God is healing me. In a class called restoring relationships I wrote the letter to my dad and read it to a leader. Very powerful. I know I picked up my mom’s anger, rage , bitterness towards my dad. I think I was under emotional incest with my mom or enmeshment. But have never explored this very much. Where could I get more information about a mother wound. I know the day when I was at university and my mom tricked and got me to confess my same sex addiction I felt so much shame and brokeness. I have never really explored a mother wound or how mom’s brokeness affected my same sex identity. Loved the pod cast. Blessings in the Lord.
@mrbillinsfКүн бұрын
I do not get it. This guy talks about being in recovery but never speaks to the specifics? He says he became a believer, but at the top of his website is a quote from Ghandi, a Hindu. I do not mean to be mean, but both the host and Dr are very effeminate.
@PureDesireMinistries20 сағат бұрын
Thanks for the feedback.
@sarahalderman31262 күн бұрын
Omg! 12:15 I have never heard this articulated in this way and it strikes me in such a deep way. I have experienced a significant amount of sexual trauma, beginning around 4 or 5 when I was molested by my three teenage and young adult cousins and then later at 12 my forty something year old ex brother in law. Later I married my husband who is a porn/sex addict. Twenty three years later he cheated on me and it has blown our entire life up. In fact this betrayal has brought everything back, all my pain, all my fears, all my insecurities… everything has come back and probably a thousand times stronger. Panic attacks and anxiety rules my life right now. The pain cuts right down to my very soul. It has actually felt as though I might be dying at times. This desire to simply disappear so strong. It never made sense to me, until I heard to phrased this way.❤
@lorraineortega103123 сағат бұрын
We live in a world of men, living by the rules of men, experience much of our trauma at the hands of men - who are so self-absorbed that they do not pay any mind to the destruction they cause to the very souls of those affected. The wound is spiritual. It requires an extensive period of grieving the loss(es), especially of trust. It also requires a whole lot of self-compassion, validation, for healing to occur.
@PureDesireMinistries20 сағат бұрын
Thank you for sharing! And thanks for listening!
@MartyMcFly10853 күн бұрын
Winsome smiles and calm voices don’t absolve these people from their poisoned belief. They CHOOSE to believe that God is good, because the Bible and all their church friends say so. They CHOOSE to believe that homosexuality should not be condoned and gay people should live their life without sexual intimacy, because the Bible and their church bros say so. They CHOOSE to believe in eternal damnation for those that don’t belief the exact right thing, regardless of the life they led, because the Bible and their cult say so. They CHOOSE to insult their own conscience and sensibilities, and those of others, by saying the available evidence actually suggests that belief in a literal resurrection/talking snake/boat filled with every animal on earth/people living 900 years/walking on water/etc is reasonable, they CHOOSE to believe a god is good, despite such a god creating something he knew would fail and lead billions to hell, but this is just because god is good. Christians won’t agree or even understand the secular view I take, the fact that truth is actually discoverable by anyone through scientific conjecture, and not through a bunch of arbitrary, antiquated, unsophisticated bible passages written by manic depressives that lived 2000+years ago and was never shared by this god again. These beliefs must be excised, removed, mocked, and bullied just as Christians did to millions throughout history (if someone tries to use the Hitler atheist straw man argument, maybe the truth that Hitler was NOT an atheist would shut them up). A thought experiment for you Christians that continue to choose superstition over reality, because you fear death and believe your “experiences” of God are truly divine and not simply evolved responses of dopamine/oxytocin in the context of a hardwired need for social security. A rule though, you are not allowed to cop out with winsome platitudes such as bowing to gods authority and saying that he works in mysterious ways. Let’s even say you are seeing this faith from the outside, not the inside. How is it that the god of Christianity felt the gumption to condemn butt sex 6 times (no god was actually needed, just a closet homosexual incel named Paul and an Old Testament book that is truly hate speech), he made laws regarding eating shellfish and wearing fabrics, he gave specific details on how burning meat and blood best pleases him, he condemned killing (unless he wanted to), but could not find the energy to slip in an 11th commandment of Thou Shalt Not Own People as Slaves. Very clear, very reasonable, but instead the Christian God said no, he can’t do this. He actually doesn’t think slavery is that bad, so long as the “master” follows a few rules. Do you get this? The God that created all rules of sin, couldn’t even condemn slavery in a clear statement. Imagine the millions of lives forced from their home and onto slave ships… kids born into servitude and sold away from their family, the whippings and torture… how many children grew up only knowing suffering and being oppressed and owned like a pet, though without even a toy as the dog has… the slaves that managed to go north to find freedom, only to be caught and sent back to ownership… GOD KNEW ALL OF THIS WOULD HAPPEN. Just one commandment, one hard view written down, would have neutered any Christian apologetic used in the past to support slavery. As an outsider, you would realize that these Christians worship the God that chose, yes CHOSE, for he is sovereign and all knowing, to not make such a commandment, and that we are foolish to question this. Rather, he allowed for specific rules governing slavery… could there be a better endorsement than regulation? Imagine not being indoctrinated and brainwashed, just finding out about this faith, and finding this truth out. Like every secular, logical person that has a conscience, you would be repulsed by this abhorrence. You wouldn’t rationalize, you wouldn’t say “well god at least tried to make it more humane, I mean all of humanity did it,” before realizing this is a mistake because the whole idea of Christianity is going against culture anytime this is needed. You would deny anything moral about the “more humane” Christian slave owner, because he only gave 20 lashes instead of 25, and would be seen by these believers as deserving heaven so long as he repents, while any atheist slave would then go straight to eternal hell after already living in hell. Just like Adam, god created this slave knowing this would be the life and eternity of this soul. Now stay in this position, do not go back to bigoted, repugnant believe, do not gaslight yourself into thinking you can’t trust your conscience and an old Iron Age book has all those answers for you. Don’t give in to the abusive doctrine of hell, or the bigoted views toward homosexuals. See the actual truth: the Abrahamic god is a complete sadist, and so is anyone who believes.
@JoshC-End-Abortion-Fear-God3 күн бұрын
Cool video
@lblincoe20943 күн бұрын
The concept of a victim needing to be forgiven by the addict for their trauma response to the addict's betrayal is like, if the victim was standing on their own one day, minding their business, and suddenly the addict came up out of nowhere and decked the victim straight in the face with no provocation, breaking the victim's nose, and then after the assault was over the addict decided that THEY were owed an apology because the victim's hemorrhaging nose got blood on them. The victim's trauma response is a consequence of the ADDICT'S actions; it's not an issue the victim is bringing TO the addict, it's an issue the addict has caused FOR the victim.. Unhealthy behaviors have unwanted consequences, that's just the basic concept of cause and effect. Yes, the victim is responsible for processing their trauma and for investing in their healing so that their unhealthy responses can be replaced with healthy coping strategies, but the person they're responsible for doing that for is THEMSELVES. They aren't responsible for managing their trauma responses to make their impact on the addict easier to manage! If the addict didn't want the burden of a traumatized, dysregulated partner, they shouldn't have abused the one they had!
@shawnmercer31244 күн бұрын
Very nicely done!
@shawnmercer31244 күн бұрын
Very nice everybody!
@MartyMcFly10854 күн бұрын
As a psychiatrist, with an emphasis on sexual health and paraphilias, let me tell you that this show is sharing tips that are very harmful and abusive to the individuals they target, specifically homosexual men and women. Notice the disrespect just in the title, where you can see on full display fundamentalist denial. They don’t label the kind of relationships approved by the church as “opposite sex attracted,” because in their narrow Christian view, this is “normal.” The term “same sex attracted” is made up by religious bigots that can’t accept the truth that 5-10% of the population is homosexual, and they are born this way. They make it a disorder, a diagnosis, when there is no pathology. This is not a choice, this is not a deviancy, this is a non changeable, non modifiable part of a person. They never talk to the majority that feel this way, instead picking those few grifters that want attention for their struggle to stay celebrate, and they celebrate this. The way Christian’s describe these individuals and their sexual identity is very calculated and self serving, with the goal of changing the perception of an unchangeable state into a changeable behavior that is sinful. This is an ego defense on their part, because they know that their offensive bigoted statement “love the sinner, not the sin” doesn’t work, for that would mean god made these individuals with inherently sinful desires they can’t change and yet must ignore, it is just their cross to bear. Make no mistake, the views presented on this channel are supported by nothing scientific, but by rules from a 2000 year old book, a so called moral authority that seemed to emphasize the sin of buttsex many times, but doesn’t take the time to explicitly condemn slavery. Apologists will have all kind of garbage excuses made up for this, and they think that they have any moral authority from an old book that so actively attacks the sensibilities of our conscience. These archaic views are bigoted, make no mistake. The excuse of stating that the view is scriptural, therefore a pass is given to be offensive and willingly vote to restrict the marriage rights of homosexuals. Thank goodness their Bible doesn’t say blindness is sinful, what mental gymnastics they would need to solve that one in their hateful love. Any person that has taken any action to restrict the rights of a group, be it online or in the voting booth, is a bigot. It doesn’t matter that your authoritative book (this is delusion) says this is a wrong behavior. If your book actually ordered murder (oh wait, it does), would that be against religious freedom to arrest the Christian murderer? The Bible says so!!Neat. Any other old books say that? Did they know best back then? Is the biblical restriction of sex and rights excuse enough for a Christian to ignore kindness and conscience, and threaten the morally repugnant doctrine of hell to homosexuals, yet again no clear condemnation of slavery anywhere, in fact god rather did take time to even describe rules for slavery. NO MORAL AUTHORITY. The Bible makes individuals accept unconscionable things as good, and restrict rights accordingly. The love of Christian’s is fake and self serving, like the most obnoxious sales people, and dependent on you buying their product of bullshit superstitious bigotry. Recommending anybody go without sex because an invisible grumpy bigot god says so is evil and wrong, it has been shown clearly with retrospective studies that this behavior increases the risk of suicide and depression by 400%. What a loving outcome, right? Now this question for the Christians: would the homosexual that committed suicide, but did so as a response to requiring cruel celibacy with no intimate partners at all in their life, still be condemned to hell? I bet god is very specific about this, just as specific as the rules for taking virgins after a battle victory or how a slave should treat his slave (sounds like a god that just wants owning people to be done well.) Recommending celibacy is cruel and unnatural, this coming from the group so obsessed with “natural law.” A sexual act between two consenting adults in the privacy of their home is what regular, descent people call normal behavior, only the poison of the Christian mindset can lead to the arrogant idea of cheating people out of intimacy so they can be “intimate with Christ,” which literally means nothing to anyone with sense. Sexual intimacy is a fundamental desire, need, and right for every individual. Shove these Christian doctrines underground, make these loving Christian’s into pariahs and societal exiles. They deserve it so long as they are toxic and dangerous with their magical thinking.
@Evermore20175 күн бұрын
Sex is the outcome of betrayal, not the beginning.
@DarenLou5 күн бұрын
Very informative. Loved this talk
@PureDesireMinistries3 күн бұрын
Glad you enjoyed it!
@StreichDestany5 күн бұрын
Absolutely delightful! I'm grinning ear to ear! 😁 🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦
@georgesetter28289 күн бұрын
Thank you for this discussion. I am learning about myself. I have learned from Dr Trish Leigh about dopamine; it isn't just drug atticts who are chasing their next "high"
@heathersnyder878910 күн бұрын
The Great Sex Rescue made me realize that God loves me too.
@tedfulsaas626613 күн бұрын
Very good Thank you. Triggers... Mental dissapline!
@cameronc150913 күн бұрын
Thats pretty much what I had to do. Pray to see them as a daughter of God instead of a sex thing. It works very well. I’m still perfectly capable of slipping up, but it’s the exception now instead of the rule
@JoshC-End-Abortion-Fear-God14 күн бұрын
Amen
@shannonhodges177814 күн бұрын
I feel like ‘in sickness and in health’ gets trumped by the horrible betrayal we’ve been through, and also not being monogamous anymore. So the church is angry with sex, no sex before marriage, do not cheat, etc, but then once you’re married all they care about is anything else, so you do not divorce. Then the man can do whatever he wants, while the wife suffers. This makes me VERY angry. So sex is SO important, do not do it outside of marriage, but now that you are married, if they are engaging in porn and cheating emotionally, who cares?? Make it work you idiot woman!! No!! Not ok!! If they lie, gaslight, and abuse you, these clergy people are evil. Do not believe them. Get with churches who know better than this BS. They are out there.
@bobbiemichaelsNyc8614 күн бұрын
Minds telling you no but body is telling you yea 😂😂😂
@samanthasammaroo699814 күн бұрын
Wow yes
@JoshC-End-Abortion-Fear-God15 күн бұрын
Amen
@foryahsoul16 күн бұрын
Bro, y’all are clutch!! I was just talking to a homie about this! The song is from sixpence none the richer
@PureDesireMinistries16 күн бұрын
Haha nice, good catch!
@Viracocha8816 күн бұрын
Mr. Fort and and his friends, clearly overwhelmed by the subject of sex while trying to reconcile sex to their conservative Christian faith, are clearly way over their head. Mr. Fort's claim that when puberty emerges that boys are indiscriminately attracted to "anything" is not something that resonates with 99% of all males, either gay or straight, who will tell you that once puberty kicked they were looking EXCLUSIVELY at either one gender or the other. Early during puberty some straight boys might engage in mutual masturbation, but what they're thinking about are girls, girls, girls. Then there is John Fort's claim about the malleability of men's sexual desires; his wife got fat, therefore he "learned" how to find fat women attractive. Though this might have been the case with Mr. Fort, this has not been proven to be case with many unhappily married men and women whose love all sexual longing for their partners once their spouses start to put on weight - and we're not an extra twenty pounds, but an extra hundred pounds. In this regard, a conservative Christian like Mr. Fort is curiously alignnig himself with fat wing of the feminist movement, who insist that male sexual feelings are conditioned by culture and thus, can be re-oriented to find blubbery women, big butts and all, sexually desireable.
@The72Rabbit16 күн бұрын
How does online groups work with accountability software? The conquer series has online data that when journaling, it conflicts the software. I facilitated a Pillars group and everyone had a books and journals and it did not affect accountability software. What is your input???
@1hellodear17 күн бұрын
Yes. 🙌🏼
@antoniobarreto396017 күн бұрын
All we need to do is remember that in the book of Hebrews it says that Jesus Christ was tempted in all ways but he did not give into the temptation it goes to show everyone that he was the only one who never fell into temptation so that makes him the perfect example, but as long as we are in this evil flesh we will stumble and fall into temptation it's in our adamic nature.
@The72Rabbit17 күн бұрын
It's interesting how you share stating intimacy needs to be mutual. It really depends on the couples understanding how they want to experience intimacy with each other and how the relational intimacy works with God and the married couple. I am not saying you are wrong in what you are saying but I am also not saying you are right in what you are saying. My wife made it clear that our only problem in our marriage 10 years ago was porn and I made a strong decision to eliminate this problem in our marriage. It took me a long time to get to a peace with God and our marriage. I had a very strong moment with God This year which removed all forms of desires with porn and Masturbation based on His Word in the engagement of masturbating. Porn was away from me for a while. I have never experienced the presence of God intercepting the relapse. So now I am focusing on my wife and I can wait one, two, three or more years until my wife finds peace with me to be intimate again should she desire that. Either way I have learned to be content and know I can be the same example in Christ as she is. I am OK with this as the hurt inside of me was great. I can still love my wife with all my heart but without the sexual intimacy that caused such a disturbance. She is happy with this too. But keep in mind something IMPORTANT. Iam 62 and she is 57. The Godly purpose of being intimate with each other is to bear fruit. My wife and I have two pieces of fruit. I believe I married her because both of us were wounded and the true healing process has began with both of us and will continue. She eventually will connect into a betrayal program. We both started with Tyler C. 10 years ago with Pure Desires. Unfortunately... My wife rejected Tyler for two reasons. He was not able at the time to tell my wife how important she needed to be a part of my recovery but the BIGGEST part of the problem is that 10 years ago, you two were not there to do a woman to woman communication on betrayal. Now she can see it with you two and she is now learning. I cannot tell you from the Conquer Series Groups and Pillars as a facilitator how many Spouses were POLICING their husbands and saying they have nothing to do with their husbands recovery. That is a problem I struggled in the mens groups I was leading. See what I mean?? Here is something interesting. The movie the Ten Commandments and the story between two women who loved Moses. Sephora said to Nephreteri ... you lost Moses when he was seeking God. I lost Moses when He found his God. As interesting as that is ... there really is no right or wrong way of building intimacy in a relationship. It is how the relationship in a marriage follows how God illustrates a marriage. Masturbation is wrong as you are stating but intimacy with each other is dependent on how God has made the relationship to be on display at the moment for His Glory. If I struggle with masturbation and porn in any way without being intimate with my wife, I am changing the whole perspective of intimacy for self gratification.
@JoshC-End-Abortion-Fear-God18 күн бұрын
Cool video
@taunallman182419 күн бұрын
Perhaps we are born with a sense of "am I enough" along with our inherited sin nature. After sin entered the world, Adam and Eve hid from God, they blamed each other and God, and they covered up. 3 shame responses.
@ninamarkovic485319 күн бұрын
Great perspective man
@dobermanluvsbulldogs20 күн бұрын
Truple is a good monitor that does screenshots!
@claudinearce910920 күн бұрын
Thank you for this. For me, it was very important to hear the last part. In the past, although my husband has been working in his recovery for more than 10 years and helping other men, it was very hard for me to empathize with him, but as soon as I started going to a beyond betrayal group, it was amazing for me to empathize with him as he listened to me, while I shared my feelings which were suppressed for many years. It was great for me to see his reaction acknowledging that I also need to recover .
@GerholdRosemary20 күн бұрын
Absolutely adorable! My heart can't take it! 💓 🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦
@foryahsoul21 күн бұрын
Appreciate this podcast amigos! In the past I’ve leaned on running to unwanted sexual behaviors when stressful situations arose….as I experience more healing, I discover that life will happen, issues will come up….but I’m able to slow down, seeks Gods counsel and tackle the problem with the Lords strength
@dawntie23 күн бұрын
Whilst discussing the mechanics of addiction is helpful, stories in music, poetry and art, that deal with the root of addiction is the the most effective way into the heart of man. The arts were created by God to subvert the sinful inclinations of the heart.
@PureDesireMinistries18 күн бұрын
We agree, both are beneficial! Which is why we developed 'The Compassionate Warrior', check out that episode if you are interested. Thanks for watching! kzread.info/dash/bejne/gauTqs2CmLy2ops.htmlfeature=shared
@dougmorrisson274326 күн бұрын
I am astounded that you would make statements about Scripture without citing any. For example, "Nothing that is psychologically damaging is theologically sound." You provide no Scripture. You completely ignore the Bible's comments about God's thoughts being higher than ours and friendship with the world is enmity toward God. I am not saying these disprove the compatibility of modern psychology with the Bible, but the need for discourse is raised. Basically your problem is you put this "and" that on equal footing. There can never be two first's. One ultimately will prevail. Either you view psychology through the Bible, or the Bible through psychology. Sola Scripture and Prima Scriptura both demand this. Millenia of history between Catholocism and Protestantism invoke these themes. To just make a quick quip and then launch a career on it is carelessness in the extreme.
@wesleywright779626 күн бұрын
The proof is if her Son is free or not so which is it?
@barbwinters13 күн бұрын
My son is walking in freedom from his struggle with pornography. But not all parents are blessed with a child who walks away. We can still love our children well either way. Thanks for listening.
@seanthompson198027 күн бұрын
Edging is KNOWN in sexual practices as masturbating as long as you can without ejaculation. Its so hard to understand or see it this way. And its just GROSS and triggering when im in Pure Desire groups and dudes use this word and cant unsee what my brain imagines because it was my drug---delberate ACTUAL edging and not some revamped or "softened" version of the word. Use different language perhaps. Maybe afterawhile i could "get use" to the term edging being used on a broader spectrum.
@jeffturkel38127 күн бұрын
Easier said than done.
@loreliem66529 күн бұрын
This was super good and informative. I wish my husband Could be in a community group Like this
@JoshC-End-Abortion-Fear-God29 күн бұрын
Cool video
@1AbuvallАй бұрын
No, your child doesn't want to see you vulnerable they want a superhero. To be anything less infront of them is child abuse
@chloemansfield4014Ай бұрын
If you are never vulnerable with or in front of your kids, they will learn to do the same. Being vulnerable is being a superhero.
@sanityssakearts1416Ай бұрын
No, expecting your child to step in when you're vulnerable is child abuse, but showing them that adults are not all-knowing and all succeeding is definitely not abusive. Why do you think it's abuse for children to grow up with the knowledge that adults can also struggle sometimes?
@codypendragonsАй бұрын
I don't know if that's the greatest analogy. With Superman, Clark Kent is the disguise. I don't think that's what you mean, but, II like your message.
Пікірлер
❤
This is Amazing!!!!!!
“Do not deprive each other” also includes not masturbating and lusting after other people besides your spouse. How come that verse never seems to be applied that way? 🤔🙄
Not defining a problem in the solution leaves nothing to be solved.
I’ve probably listened to over 250 PD podcasts and am amazed at the variety of topics they cover. The quality of their guests and the experience and expertise they provide has helped my almost 8 years of recovery beyond words. When they focus on one of the many aspects surrounding the issues connected to sexual addiction and betrayal impacting relationships I gladly receive it and look for ways to improve my story. I also am better equipped to join other guy’s stories and be a better group member and leader. I greatly respect all three guys and the courage they have shown by being involved in what is hardly on anyone’s list of ministries to strive for.
Thank you so much!
This message is hitting me like a tsunami....in a very good way. I am in the place of the betrayed spouse, and just flailing as I am trying to find a path forward. (Newly discovered extreme porn, along with constant multiple-screen addiction) Thank you, Jenna, for the Christ-centered approach, The power, wisdom, and knowledge to walk ANY of this out comes from that place. I truly am sorry that some may be offended, or just shut these concepts down due to a Yoda figure, Darth Vader, etc. And that this might be a reason to discount the effectiveness of this process as a path toward healing and restoration. I will be scouring your website for resources, Jenna! God's timing is remarkable, as always. I am very curious to know how forward progress in a marriage is affected when a husband has pretty deep-seated narcissistic traits. Lying, to the point that I would never know if I could believe anything he told me regarding accountability, recovery , etc. (accountable to someone else, not myself) Highly unable to admit fault or take responsibility. Blame shifting and flipping most things around to be my fault ,etc. Can't "hear" where he might have a part to play. Seriously wondering if this personality has much hope in recovery.
Hi, I have a question. I’m going thru the pure desire course. God has done a lot in my life in regard to the father wound. I ended up turning to homosexuality as a result of this wound. But God is healing me. In a class called restoring relationships I wrote the letter to my dad and read it to a leader. Very powerful. I know I picked up my mom’s anger, rage , bitterness towards my dad. I think I was under emotional incest with my mom or enmeshment. But have never explored this very much. Where could I get more information about a mother wound. I know the day when I was at university and my mom tricked and got me to confess my same sex addiction I felt so much shame and brokeness. I have never really explored a mother wound or how mom’s brokeness affected my same sex identity. Loved the pod cast. Blessings in the Lord.
I do not get it. This guy talks about being in recovery but never speaks to the specifics? He says he became a believer, but at the top of his website is a quote from Ghandi, a Hindu. I do not mean to be mean, but both the host and Dr are very effeminate.
Thanks for the feedback.
Omg! 12:15 I have never heard this articulated in this way and it strikes me in such a deep way. I have experienced a significant amount of sexual trauma, beginning around 4 or 5 when I was molested by my three teenage and young adult cousins and then later at 12 my forty something year old ex brother in law. Later I married my husband who is a porn/sex addict. Twenty three years later he cheated on me and it has blown our entire life up. In fact this betrayal has brought everything back, all my pain, all my fears, all my insecurities… everything has come back and probably a thousand times stronger. Panic attacks and anxiety rules my life right now. The pain cuts right down to my very soul. It has actually felt as though I might be dying at times. This desire to simply disappear so strong. It never made sense to me, until I heard to phrased this way.❤
We live in a world of men, living by the rules of men, experience much of our trauma at the hands of men - who are so self-absorbed that they do not pay any mind to the destruction they cause to the very souls of those affected. The wound is spiritual. It requires an extensive period of grieving the loss(es), especially of trust. It also requires a whole lot of self-compassion, validation, for healing to occur.
Thank you for sharing! And thanks for listening!
Winsome smiles and calm voices don’t absolve these people from their poisoned belief. They CHOOSE to believe that God is good, because the Bible and all their church friends say so. They CHOOSE to believe that homosexuality should not be condoned and gay people should live their life without sexual intimacy, because the Bible and their church bros say so. They CHOOSE to believe in eternal damnation for those that don’t belief the exact right thing, regardless of the life they led, because the Bible and their cult say so. They CHOOSE to insult their own conscience and sensibilities, and those of others, by saying the available evidence actually suggests that belief in a literal resurrection/talking snake/boat filled with every animal on earth/people living 900 years/walking on water/etc is reasonable, they CHOOSE to believe a god is good, despite such a god creating something he knew would fail and lead billions to hell, but this is just because god is good. Christians won’t agree or even understand the secular view I take, the fact that truth is actually discoverable by anyone through scientific conjecture, and not through a bunch of arbitrary, antiquated, unsophisticated bible passages written by manic depressives that lived 2000+years ago and was never shared by this god again. These beliefs must be excised, removed, mocked, and bullied just as Christians did to millions throughout history (if someone tries to use the Hitler atheist straw man argument, maybe the truth that Hitler was NOT an atheist would shut them up). A thought experiment for you Christians that continue to choose superstition over reality, because you fear death and believe your “experiences” of God are truly divine and not simply evolved responses of dopamine/oxytocin in the context of a hardwired need for social security. A rule though, you are not allowed to cop out with winsome platitudes such as bowing to gods authority and saying that he works in mysterious ways. Let’s even say you are seeing this faith from the outside, not the inside. How is it that the god of Christianity felt the gumption to condemn butt sex 6 times (no god was actually needed, just a closet homosexual incel named Paul and an Old Testament book that is truly hate speech), he made laws regarding eating shellfish and wearing fabrics, he gave specific details on how burning meat and blood best pleases him, he condemned killing (unless he wanted to), but could not find the energy to slip in an 11th commandment of Thou Shalt Not Own People as Slaves. Very clear, very reasonable, but instead the Christian God said no, he can’t do this. He actually doesn’t think slavery is that bad, so long as the “master” follows a few rules. Do you get this? The God that created all rules of sin, couldn’t even condemn slavery in a clear statement. Imagine the millions of lives forced from their home and onto slave ships… kids born into servitude and sold away from their family, the whippings and torture… how many children grew up only knowing suffering and being oppressed and owned like a pet, though without even a toy as the dog has… the slaves that managed to go north to find freedom, only to be caught and sent back to ownership… GOD KNEW ALL OF THIS WOULD HAPPEN. Just one commandment, one hard view written down, would have neutered any Christian apologetic used in the past to support slavery. As an outsider, you would realize that these Christians worship the God that chose, yes CHOSE, for he is sovereign and all knowing, to not make such a commandment, and that we are foolish to question this. Rather, he allowed for specific rules governing slavery… could there be a better endorsement than regulation? Imagine not being indoctrinated and brainwashed, just finding out about this faith, and finding this truth out. Like every secular, logical person that has a conscience, you would be repulsed by this abhorrence. You wouldn’t rationalize, you wouldn’t say “well god at least tried to make it more humane, I mean all of humanity did it,” before realizing this is a mistake because the whole idea of Christianity is going against culture anytime this is needed. You would deny anything moral about the “more humane” Christian slave owner, because he only gave 20 lashes instead of 25, and would be seen by these believers as deserving heaven so long as he repents, while any atheist slave would then go straight to eternal hell after already living in hell. Just like Adam, god created this slave knowing this would be the life and eternity of this soul. Now stay in this position, do not go back to bigoted, repugnant believe, do not gaslight yourself into thinking you can’t trust your conscience and an old Iron Age book has all those answers for you. Don’t give in to the abusive doctrine of hell, or the bigoted views toward homosexuals. See the actual truth: the Abrahamic god is a complete sadist, and so is anyone who believes.
Cool video
The concept of a victim needing to be forgiven by the addict for their trauma response to the addict's betrayal is like, if the victim was standing on their own one day, minding their business, and suddenly the addict came up out of nowhere and decked the victim straight in the face with no provocation, breaking the victim's nose, and then after the assault was over the addict decided that THEY were owed an apology because the victim's hemorrhaging nose got blood on them. The victim's trauma response is a consequence of the ADDICT'S actions; it's not an issue the victim is bringing TO the addict, it's an issue the addict has caused FOR the victim.. Unhealthy behaviors have unwanted consequences, that's just the basic concept of cause and effect. Yes, the victim is responsible for processing their trauma and for investing in their healing so that their unhealthy responses can be replaced with healthy coping strategies, but the person they're responsible for doing that for is THEMSELVES. They aren't responsible for managing their trauma responses to make their impact on the addict easier to manage! If the addict didn't want the burden of a traumatized, dysregulated partner, they shouldn't have abused the one they had!
Very nicely done!
Very nice everybody!
As a psychiatrist, with an emphasis on sexual health and paraphilias, let me tell you that this show is sharing tips that are very harmful and abusive to the individuals they target, specifically homosexual men and women. Notice the disrespect just in the title, where you can see on full display fundamentalist denial. They don’t label the kind of relationships approved by the church as “opposite sex attracted,” because in their narrow Christian view, this is “normal.” The term “same sex attracted” is made up by religious bigots that can’t accept the truth that 5-10% of the population is homosexual, and they are born this way. They make it a disorder, a diagnosis, when there is no pathology. This is not a choice, this is not a deviancy, this is a non changeable, non modifiable part of a person. They never talk to the majority that feel this way, instead picking those few grifters that want attention for their struggle to stay celebrate, and they celebrate this. The way Christian’s describe these individuals and their sexual identity is very calculated and self serving, with the goal of changing the perception of an unchangeable state into a changeable behavior that is sinful. This is an ego defense on their part, because they know that their offensive bigoted statement “love the sinner, not the sin” doesn’t work, for that would mean god made these individuals with inherently sinful desires they can’t change and yet must ignore, it is just their cross to bear. Make no mistake, the views presented on this channel are supported by nothing scientific, but by rules from a 2000 year old book, a so called moral authority that seemed to emphasize the sin of buttsex many times, but doesn’t take the time to explicitly condemn slavery. Apologists will have all kind of garbage excuses made up for this, and they think that they have any moral authority from an old book that so actively attacks the sensibilities of our conscience. These archaic views are bigoted, make no mistake. The excuse of stating that the view is scriptural, therefore a pass is given to be offensive and willingly vote to restrict the marriage rights of homosexuals. Thank goodness their Bible doesn’t say blindness is sinful, what mental gymnastics they would need to solve that one in their hateful love. Any person that has taken any action to restrict the rights of a group, be it online or in the voting booth, is a bigot. It doesn’t matter that your authoritative book (this is delusion) says this is a wrong behavior. If your book actually ordered murder (oh wait, it does), would that be against religious freedom to arrest the Christian murderer? The Bible says so!!Neat. Any other old books say that? Did they know best back then? Is the biblical restriction of sex and rights excuse enough for a Christian to ignore kindness and conscience, and threaten the morally repugnant doctrine of hell to homosexuals, yet again no clear condemnation of slavery anywhere, in fact god rather did take time to even describe rules for slavery. NO MORAL AUTHORITY. The Bible makes individuals accept unconscionable things as good, and restrict rights accordingly. The love of Christian’s is fake and self serving, like the most obnoxious sales people, and dependent on you buying their product of bullshit superstitious bigotry. Recommending anybody go without sex because an invisible grumpy bigot god says so is evil and wrong, it has been shown clearly with retrospective studies that this behavior increases the risk of suicide and depression by 400%. What a loving outcome, right? Now this question for the Christians: would the homosexual that committed suicide, but did so as a response to requiring cruel celibacy with no intimate partners at all in their life, still be condemned to hell? I bet god is very specific about this, just as specific as the rules for taking virgins after a battle victory or how a slave should treat his slave (sounds like a god that just wants owning people to be done well.) Recommending celibacy is cruel and unnatural, this coming from the group so obsessed with “natural law.” A sexual act between two consenting adults in the privacy of their home is what regular, descent people call normal behavior, only the poison of the Christian mindset can lead to the arrogant idea of cheating people out of intimacy so they can be “intimate with Christ,” which literally means nothing to anyone with sense. Sexual intimacy is a fundamental desire, need, and right for every individual. Shove these Christian doctrines underground, make these loving Christian’s into pariahs and societal exiles. They deserve it so long as they are toxic and dangerous with their magical thinking.
Sex is the outcome of betrayal, not the beginning.
Very informative. Loved this talk
Glad you enjoyed it!
Absolutely delightful! I'm grinning ear to ear! 😁 🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦
Thank you for this discussion. I am learning about myself. I have learned from Dr Trish Leigh about dopamine; it isn't just drug atticts who are chasing their next "high"
The Great Sex Rescue made me realize that God loves me too.
Very good Thank you. Triggers... Mental dissapline!
Thats pretty much what I had to do. Pray to see them as a daughter of God instead of a sex thing. It works very well. I’m still perfectly capable of slipping up, but it’s the exception now instead of the rule
Amen
I feel like ‘in sickness and in health’ gets trumped by the horrible betrayal we’ve been through, and also not being monogamous anymore. So the church is angry with sex, no sex before marriage, do not cheat, etc, but then once you’re married all they care about is anything else, so you do not divorce. Then the man can do whatever he wants, while the wife suffers. This makes me VERY angry. So sex is SO important, do not do it outside of marriage, but now that you are married, if they are engaging in porn and cheating emotionally, who cares?? Make it work you idiot woman!! No!! Not ok!! If they lie, gaslight, and abuse you, these clergy people are evil. Do not believe them. Get with churches who know better than this BS. They are out there.
Minds telling you no but body is telling you yea 😂😂😂
Wow yes
Amen
Bro, y’all are clutch!! I was just talking to a homie about this! The song is from sixpence none the richer
Haha nice, good catch!
Mr. Fort and and his friends, clearly overwhelmed by the subject of sex while trying to reconcile sex to their conservative Christian faith, are clearly way over their head. Mr. Fort's claim that when puberty emerges that boys are indiscriminately attracted to "anything" is not something that resonates with 99% of all males, either gay or straight, who will tell you that once puberty kicked they were looking EXCLUSIVELY at either one gender or the other. Early during puberty some straight boys might engage in mutual masturbation, but what they're thinking about are girls, girls, girls. Then there is John Fort's claim about the malleability of men's sexual desires; his wife got fat, therefore he "learned" how to find fat women attractive. Though this might have been the case with Mr. Fort, this has not been proven to be case with many unhappily married men and women whose love all sexual longing for their partners once their spouses start to put on weight - and we're not an extra twenty pounds, but an extra hundred pounds. In this regard, a conservative Christian like Mr. Fort is curiously alignnig himself with fat wing of the feminist movement, who insist that male sexual feelings are conditioned by culture and thus, can be re-oriented to find blubbery women, big butts and all, sexually desireable.
How does online groups work with accountability software? The conquer series has online data that when journaling, it conflicts the software. I facilitated a Pillars group and everyone had a books and journals and it did not affect accountability software. What is your input???
Yes. 🙌🏼
All we need to do is remember that in the book of Hebrews it says that Jesus Christ was tempted in all ways but he did not give into the temptation it goes to show everyone that he was the only one who never fell into temptation so that makes him the perfect example, but as long as we are in this evil flesh we will stumble and fall into temptation it's in our adamic nature.
It's interesting how you share stating intimacy needs to be mutual. It really depends on the couples understanding how they want to experience intimacy with each other and how the relational intimacy works with God and the married couple. I am not saying you are wrong in what you are saying but I am also not saying you are right in what you are saying. My wife made it clear that our only problem in our marriage 10 years ago was porn and I made a strong decision to eliminate this problem in our marriage. It took me a long time to get to a peace with God and our marriage. I had a very strong moment with God This year which removed all forms of desires with porn and Masturbation based on His Word in the engagement of masturbating. Porn was away from me for a while. I have never experienced the presence of God intercepting the relapse. So now I am focusing on my wife and I can wait one, two, three or more years until my wife finds peace with me to be intimate again should she desire that. Either way I have learned to be content and know I can be the same example in Christ as she is. I am OK with this as the hurt inside of me was great. I can still love my wife with all my heart but without the sexual intimacy that caused such a disturbance. She is happy with this too. But keep in mind something IMPORTANT. Iam 62 and she is 57. The Godly purpose of being intimate with each other is to bear fruit. My wife and I have two pieces of fruit. I believe I married her because both of us were wounded and the true healing process has began with both of us and will continue. She eventually will connect into a betrayal program. We both started with Tyler C. 10 years ago with Pure Desires. Unfortunately... My wife rejected Tyler for two reasons. He was not able at the time to tell my wife how important she needed to be a part of my recovery but the BIGGEST part of the problem is that 10 years ago, you two were not there to do a woman to woman communication on betrayal. Now she can see it with you two and she is now learning. I cannot tell you from the Conquer Series Groups and Pillars as a facilitator how many Spouses were POLICING their husbands and saying they have nothing to do with their husbands recovery. That is a problem I struggled in the mens groups I was leading. See what I mean?? Here is something interesting. The movie the Ten Commandments and the story between two women who loved Moses. Sephora said to Nephreteri ... you lost Moses when he was seeking God. I lost Moses when He found his God. As interesting as that is ... there really is no right or wrong way of building intimacy in a relationship. It is how the relationship in a marriage follows how God illustrates a marriage. Masturbation is wrong as you are stating but intimacy with each other is dependent on how God has made the relationship to be on display at the moment for His Glory. If I struggle with masturbation and porn in any way without being intimate with my wife, I am changing the whole perspective of intimacy for self gratification.
Cool video
Perhaps we are born with a sense of "am I enough" along with our inherited sin nature. After sin entered the world, Adam and Eve hid from God, they blamed each other and God, and they covered up. 3 shame responses.
Great perspective man
Truple is a good monitor that does screenshots!
Thank you for this. For me, it was very important to hear the last part. In the past, although my husband has been working in his recovery for more than 10 years and helping other men, it was very hard for me to empathize with him, but as soon as I started going to a beyond betrayal group, it was amazing for me to empathize with him as he listened to me, while I shared my feelings which were suppressed for many years. It was great for me to see his reaction acknowledging that I also need to recover .
Absolutely adorable! My heart can't take it! 💓 🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦
Appreciate this podcast amigos! In the past I’ve leaned on running to unwanted sexual behaviors when stressful situations arose….as I experience more healing, I discover that life will happen, issues will come up….but I’m able to slow down, seeks Gods counsel and tackle the problem with the Lords strength
Whilst discussing the mechanics of addiction is helpful, stories in music, poetry and art, that deal with the root of addiction is the the most effective way into the heart of man. The arts were created by God to subvert the sinful inclinations of the heart.
We agree, both are beneficial! Which is why we developed 'The Compassionate Warrior', check out that episode if you are interested. Thanks for watching! kzread.info/dash/bejne/gauTqs2CmLy2ops.htmlfeature=shared
I am astounded that you would make statements about Scripture without citing any. For example, "Nothing that is psychologically damaging is theologically sound." You provide no Scripture. You completely ignore the Bible's comments about God's thoughts being higher than ours and friendship with the world is enmity toward God. I am not saying these disprove the compatibility of modern psychology with the Bible, but the need for discourse is raised. Basically your problem is you put this "and" that on equal footing. There can never be two first's. One ultimately will prevail. Either you view psychology through the Bible, or the Bible through psychology. Sola Scripture and Prima Scriptura both demand this. Millenia of history between Catholocism and Protestantism invoke these themes. To just make a quick quip and then launch a career on it is carelessness in the extreme.
The proof is if her Son is free or not so which is it?
My son is walking in freedom from his struggle with pornography. But not all parents are blessed with a child who walks away. We can still love our children well either way. Thanks for listening.
Edging is KNOWN in sexual practices as masturbating as long as you can without ejaculation. Its so hard to understand or see it this way. And its just GROSS and triggering when im in Pure Desire groups and dudes use this word and cant unsee what my brain imagines because it was my drug---delberate ACTUAL edging and not some revamped or "softened" version of the word. Use different language perhaps. Maybe afterawhile i could "get use" to the term edging being used on a broader spectrum.
Easier said than done.
This was super good and informative. I wish my husband Could be in a community group Like this
Cool video
No, your child doesn't want to see you vulnerable they want a superhero. To be anything less infront of them is child abuse
If you are never vulnerable with or in front of your kids, they will learn to do the same. Being vulnerable is being a superhero.
No, expecting your child to step in when you're vulnerable is child abuse, but showing them that adults are not all-knowing and all succeeding is definitely not abusive. Why do you think it's abuse for children to grow up with the knowledge that adults can also struggle sometimes?
I don't know if that's the greatest analogy. With Superman, Clark Kent is the disguise. I don't think that's what you mean, but, II like your message.