This is a woman writing this on her male roommate's computer. Mainly I am writing this to support family caregivers out there. In the early 200's, I'd had some health problems of my own. I retrained as a real estate broker (I had been a landlord since the early 90's). Two months after going back to work for a brokerage where I lived, my mom suffered the first of three strokes. My dad had already stopped driving years before that and now either of them drove anymore. Both were in their 80's...in their 40's when I was born. I just read the guy's comment right below mine...this lady is soooooooooooo right! Keeping two aged adults in their home when they both have health problems hitting them left and right is just unreal stressful and time-consuming. I made 10K in the first two months I went back to work as a broker. Once my mom started having strokes...all bets were off. No matter how I structured it, and I was pretty darn good at time management, their care ended up taking anywhere from about 25 - 40 hours a week...easily! And, during times that they were in the hospital and I'd be there all night trying to keep my dad from hitting nurses and such because of all the dope they gave him there, that turned into 80 hour weeks pretty quickly. It was hard...very, very hard! I was a real estate broker and a landlord. So, per my family, I supposedly didn't have a "job"...I guess because I had flexible hours. Trust me...I had a "job". Looking back, I would NEVER AGAIN allow my family to get by with this kind of crap of handing ALL the responsibility to me. My parents had helped every single member of our family for their entire lives, and now that they needed help, they kind of disappeared rarely to be seen. Any "help" they gave was boasted about and overexaggerated. i never really thought much about who did what. My parents that I loved that had ALWAYS bent over backwards to help all of us in any way they could needed help/ they didn't want a rest home or assisted living. They wanted to live in their home where they were comfortable. So, that was that...period. I was determined that is where they would stay for as long as I could keep them there. It wasn't like they couldn't afford assisted living...although, even though they were financially okay, it probably would have drained them like it does sooo many people. For all you caregivers out there, do NOT allow other family members to "skate" if you can help it. What I have learned in my life time is that if people don't have to help out themselves, they do NOT end up appreciating what you do that no one sees. I never realized it until my mom told me one day that "Your sister NEVER does anything for us unless someone sees it. You (me) are the only one that does all of the things that no one ever sees or get's credit for". My sister literally got impatient with my mother one day because she would call her in the morning and I'd call her at night and walk her through taking medications for herself and my dad. My sister didn't have the whole family watching her make calls to my mom in the mornings and therefore didn't get "credit" for her time and efforts here. She got angry with my mom and literally told me (and her) that she didn't care if she died and that she wasn't going to help with the medication calls anymore. Wow!!! I realize that not everyone has the selfish family from hell, but there is something about money (the spoils) that seems to make the "buzzards" start circling at the end of someone's life if that child or family member doesn''t REALLY love their elderly or sick love one. It is a commitment of time, money, and love and it is VERY HARD ON THE CAREGIVER when they don't have appreciation and family support. I am writing this to HOPEFULLY make other family members realize that caring for a family member in these kinds of situations is just incredibly difficult. The caregiver needs support and, sadly, often doesn't get it. For caregivers...PLEASE take good care of yourselves as well. I do know that if the feeling is mutual between the person you care for and you, the ill person would OFTEN never ever want your life hurt in order for you to take care of theirs. That is just the way it is for people who truly love each other. Everyone's situation is different, but if you even see a hint of lack of appreciation, disrespect, trying to take credit for things you do, accusations of financial abuse of the elderly person when you'd literally rather die than do that.....PAY VERY CLOSE ATTENTION TO YOUR GUT LEVEL INSTINCTS AND DO WHATEVER YOU MUST TO PROTECT YOURSELF. After my parents passed, my family members put me through hell and it was ALL about "the love of money". Had nothing to do with their concern for my parents. They were NOT there when it came to caring for my parents, but they were sure there to try to get money that neither belonged to them and money my folks did NOT ever intend them to have. This little video here talks about the difficulty and the "isolation". When you are in the middle of all this and just focused on trying to keep your loved one happy and healthy and living in their home where they feel at peace, you can get completely out of touch with your own needs. Your parents, or whoever you are caring for that loves you, would not want that for you. If my parents had known what I was to go through in the future, I am positive they would have opted for insisted living. They would have never in a million years wanted my life torn apart as it has been. Just a heads up................TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF IF YOU ARE A CREGIVER. DON'T ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE TAKEN FOR GRANTED OR USED. LOG WHAT IS HAPPENING OR DO WHATEVER YOUR GUT TELLS YOU YOU SHOULD IN ORDER TO PROTECT YOURSELF AND YOUR OWN MENTAL/PHYSICAL HEALTH AND FINANCES. I haven't even scratches the surface of the things that family members did, but if you even begin to suspect that you are being put down or taken for granted. Or, if someone else is making a big deal about every little thing they do when you are the one carrying a huge weight mostly by yourself, do your best to make other family members step up. Just protect yourself. The effects of these kinds of things can last a life time. They have been for me and they have completely broke my heart. Looking back, I'd never let people like this break my heart of anyone elses Just beware. Some families bind together and are incredibly supportive. But, the lives of MANY caregivers have been almost destroyed by greed in family members and family members that won't help. out. Your loved one would want you to take care of you too. Make sure you do. You'll regret it for a lifetime if you allow things to go awry during a time like this. I've just heard far too many stories similar to mine over the years.

You CANNOT WORK FULLTIME if your taking care of an adult depending on the condition. This guy is just brushing the surface. It's obvious he has no hands on experience taking care of someone who is sick or disabled. It's a full-time job in itself!

@tinjanichols632

6 жыл бұрын

Raechel Barentson-Frantom How do I start my grandpa's on chemo

@pennykent5687

4 жыл бұрын

You are SO RIGHT!!! I've worked for YEARS taking care of seniors, and my own family member. There is NO WAY you can fit serious care into your outside job/career schedule!!! YOU CAN NOT DO BOTH!!! IF you think you can,... you will more often then not find out that SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAVE TO GIVE!!! NO DOUBT ABOUT IT!!!! These people that say, or think.... Oh, I can work and take care of Mom/dad.... No! It's not going to work. Setting out pills, telling them to eat the food you made up for them in the frig., telling them to be sure to drink enough water, checking on any toileting issues.... No, sorry. Unless you have a team helping you with Mom/dad,.... You generally are NOT going to be able to do this while you work a regular outside (of this caregiving) job. 🤷‍♀️ AND I 👉DO NOT, DO NOT👈 ADVISE NURSING HOMES!!!!!! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏PLEASE NO!😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😩🙏😩🙏😩🙏😩🙏🙏🙏🙏ANY OF THEM!!! PLEASE 🙏

@WorkB24

4 жыл бұрын

I work full time as a care worker in a facility. My brother works part time and my father stays at home with my mother. I do most of my mom's care and if I'm not there my brother is there. So it can be done. My mom has MS.

@pennykent5687

4 жыл бұрын

@@WorkB24 THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN DO IT IS WITH HELP!

@jeanettesnider9274

2 жыл бұрын

@@tinjanichols632 M

Can anyone please hmu with good advice in oklahoma. My mom lives next door and we are both disabled and own and live on 10 acres in the country. Some times we cant even make it to town for food or dr appointments. Idk what to do, but I know a caretaker that already helps when she has the time not working or being a single mom and can afford the gas to come out here. Plus me and my mother know her and her children and trust them very much. It would help us and her and her kids as they can come out and play video games or play on the land while she works which also helps get the kids out of a daycare that she has no choice but to have government assistance. Helps everybody and the economy, but idk where to start or what to do

@CzepigaLaw

5 жыл бұрын

Charles... we don't practice in Oklahoma. We suggest you find an elder law attorney in your area. A good place to locate one is through the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys-- www.naela.org/ Good luck!

Hello. I had to move my mother from Oklahoma to live with me in Virginia due to health reasons (COPD, generate bone disease in her back, chronic acid reflux). I cover all her expenses (health insurance, dental insurance, vision insurance, car insurance, housing, food, etc.) Any assistance or guidance will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

I'm taking care of a brother and sister needing 24/7 care no family willing to do this I have for a year and now the sister is under hospice , I have no income and when she passes I have to leave the home and have nothing to help me get on my feet I've called several places trying to get help and I've come to a brick wall dead stop , no programs to help someone that is not related, I need help please help me.

@josephinecua8488

Жыл бұрын

an Individual Provider can be of great help, 😊

@josephinecua8488

Жыл бұрын

I once took care of a relative and I receive some amount of money from the government.

@littlequeen22

4 ай бұрын

Contact Medicaid

I'm one of those unpaid Caretakers of my Disabled Husband's for the last 16+ yrs. Never been paid. Is there any way that I can get paid?

@CzepigaLaw

3 жыл бұрын

We recommend you find an elder law attorney in your area. You can find one by using the Find a Lawyer page on the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys website here www.naela.org/findlawyer?

Hello can anyone please direct me to where I can find info for my wife to get paid to care for me when I go home next year pls.? We live in Orange County California. Thank you for your help!

@CzepigaLaw

3 жыл бұрын

We are based in Connecticut and laws are different. We recommend you find an elder law attorney in your area. You can find one by using the Find a Lawyer page on the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys website here www.naela.org/findlawyer? Good luck!

@michelel.1854

Жыл бұрын

Look into In Home Support Services in your county.

Dash

So basically if it's your spouse and not the parents... is their any help???? I haven't found it.

@CzepigaLaw

5 жыл бұрын

Hi Michael. Can you provide more information? Are you caring for your spouse?

@lawrencewynn9043

4 жыл бұрын

Can anyone give me information on how to be come a care giver for my cuzen he is on dialysis

My daughter has Down syndrome in florida…