I've had one of those moods where I answered the phone going, " *Name of City* city zoo, orangutan cage, chief keeper speaking...."I was horrified when my mother replied and apologized saying she had gotten the wrong number. The 'orangutans' in question were my daughter and a couple of her friends playing since school was over for the day.😖

@oz_jones

2 жыл бұрын

Omg, this is funny

That one guy that said his mom was in the hospital to skip out on work, when in fact he was going to a golf tournament, this is why you don't post things to Facebook when you're trying to skip out on work to do something that is different than what you said you were doing.

the walmart clock in , leaves, back , clock out happened to the costco i worked in. but guy didnt have another job. he just went home. Got away with it for 6 months (since costco is HUGE and no one cant find anyone , anytime) but definitely mised making double bread

this happened to my girlfriend she put a bowl of salad on a chair while helping another customer then forgot she put a bowl of salad on the chair she then sat down and right into the bowl which got stuck to her butt and while she was trying to pull it off a customer walk up just as she got it off and the butt of her pants was covered in salad her manager walk up and didn't listen to her about what happened and just fired her then a few days later her boss call her laughing after watching the security camera and apologize and ask her to come back but she had already gotten another job

@boreaborea5214

2 жыл бұрын

@pep zio well she's blonde so i assume that has something to do with it and she's very clumsy and naturally has really bad luck this is only one of several stories

@boreaborea5214

2 жыл бұрын

@pep zio no idea why the chair i know she was about to go on break and the salad was her lunch but her boss was a prick over employees having items on the counter so maybe that why now how she forgot she put it there I'm just going with she a blonde and easily distracted

@boreaborea5214

2 жыл бұрын

@pep zio yeah that was nice of him

@2shy2guy52

2 жыл бұрын

You should use periods, they're really useful.

@boreaborea5214

2 жыл бұрын

@@2shy2guy52 no

I was a concert inspector for the state. One day while in the yard looking at items. I came upon a bird that had made a nest right in the middle of the yard. There were heavy equipment driving around the yard. I told the plant boss. By the end of the day the plant had made a concert barrier around the area of the nest. The barrier was about 30 feet square to protect the bird and her nest. It remained there until the nest was abandon by the mother bird.

@theairisamagician830

2 жыл бұрын

that’s really cool

@ariadnefrolich7243

2 жыл бұрын

That's wonderful.

Once fired a guy for no call no show on his first day. He called the next day to say he wanted to go fishing and asked what time he should come in. The funny part is that he could have just called us and asked to start the next day and that would have been fine but it's a 0 tolerance for no call no show

A co-worker, at a community library, was fired when it became apparent that she literally couldn’t read. A big part of her job was shelving books. She would hold a book and stare blankly at a shelf then put the book in. I checked and saw that the book wasn’t even close to the correct area. We found miss shelved books for months after.

"Are you really that fat, or is it a costume?" Seriously....an interesting question to ask to some people at least.

@odysseus2656

2 жыл бұрын

That is like you NEVER ask a woman: "Are you pregnant?" Wait for her to bring up the subject no matter what.

Just started a CS job at a credit card processing co Watched a well dressed lady get walked out in handcuffs. One of the detectives saw the shock on my face & explained what happened. She worked handling large corporate accounts. Thought she could get away with transferring one co.s' deposits to her own acct. for one day & then switching it back. He explained that's wire fraud, and the charge is 10 yr.s. She was married with two kids, 5 & 8. How do you explain to them 'Mommy's in prison?'

I'm impressed that call center would press charges against internal fraud. I use to work for a call center and it was common for people to add services or keep accounts open against the customers wish. By the time it caught up with them they'd received massive bonuses and moved on.

@phlushphish793

11 ай бұрын

I worked at a place where they joked about holding cancellations 'til next month to squeeze another month out of them.

@AngryitNerd

4 ай бұрын

i was the king of the maintenance plan for a isp...=D

I find it remarkable how many people get fired for watching porn at work. How could anyone be even remotely comfortable enough to do that? To me, porn is something that you watch in your home alone in incognito mode. How anyone could be so brazen as to start cranking off watching Ghetto Gaggers in a fuckin office cubicle is faaaaar beyond me!

"Blackenese" made me laugh really hard, sorry. I was expecting something else.

@deszalt4492

2 жыл бұрын

Same, lmfao!

@FerreTrip

2 жыл бұрын

First encountered that phrase in high school, one of the kids there was described as such by her friend. I was blown away and thought it was freaking awesome. Also surprised because she was really dark. (But, hey, I pass for white, so....) Edit: JUST GOT TO THE PART OH GOD. What I meant was that the girl was black and Japanese, mixed race, aaaaaaaaaa I feel awful now ;w;

@MangaEnthusiast

Жыл бұрын

​@@FerreTrip Don't feel bad, I got the joke.

@viatheanimator

Жыл бұрын

@@FerreTrip HAHA your edited response is so funny

@rocky_wang

Жыл бұрын

I guess I have spoken "Asianese" for too long, and I wondered for a sec how crappy the crap table could be? 🎲🎲 (Me Asian btw)😂😂😂

I was the shift manager at a restaurant when a co worker decided, on his first day, in his too tight jeans(that did not meet the dress code), to tell some customers how he was looking forward to getting high when he clocked out. The older couple wasn't amused. Neither was our GM, who had been standing behind him. Fun.

Where I worked shortly before I was hired apparently one worker stole another employee's chips and she (the other worker) thought trying to stab him was a appropriate reaction. They were both fired. Where my ex worked they fired one guy for coming back from break with a needle in his arm, and another guy after he was caught pissing on the wood they use to cook food. (It was a restaurant.)

I'm not even mad at the Walmart guy. He learned how to play the game😂

Not a manager, but the backroom supervisor at local Walmart climbed into the trash compactor chute and got on the radio and started talking on the radio “come look at the idiot in the compactor!” Immediately terminated. Also, didn’t witness, but another employee used an empty car seat box to steal video games. Got about $150,000 or so worth before management caught him.

My security company had an account for several years with a business where all we had to do on night shift was do one building round which took only 45 minutes then the rest of the evening we just sat at the desk and we could go on the computer. The only rule we had was no gore or porn sites. No problem. Best job ever. Well our contract came up and we got replaced by another company that paid less so it saved the multi million dollar business a few bucks. Well...the new security company lasted three months...turned out that the guards were downloading all kinds of porn, including beastiality, putting all kinds of viruses in the computers...that one guard tried to start a fistfight with an employee over something trivial, were stealing pop, candy and chips from the cafeteria, oh and a guard became infatuated with a female employee and was always trying to chat her up even after she told him to stop. Oh well, you get what you pay for. 😏

Had a internship at a hospital for a year due to school and one day a new guy entered the ward near the end of my shift. I didn't even got to properly introduce myself because like a hour later I found the guy sitting on a bed surounded by the nurses and our boss in the hallway. I then encountered a trainee and asked her what is going on and she just said something about the mens restroom. I went there and opened it and found multiple medium sized bloodstains on the wall and a missing trashcan. The nurses then brought the trashcan to a room mainly meant for cleaning and searched it and found something. A empty phial that used to contain 10mg of a *EXTREMELY* potent narcotic where only 2mg can make you high enough to hit the surface of Pluto with 0 memory afterward. Turns out this guy is a junkie that stole this from the safe of another ward and injected it but did an error and sprayed blood all over the wall in the mens restroom. Guy got obviously fired on the spot and I stayed a little longer to clean up all the blood for obvious reasons but couldn't stay long enough to see the aftermath but Police got likely involved and the guy likely stayed at the hospital for a few days to prevend death due to overdose. Someone might've also got their ass whooped because the key for the safes should always be on the responsible nurses body so that shit like this doesn't happen. He probably didn't even knew what the medication was just that it was a narcotic.

When asked in the crew chat where he was because he was late for work, his response was to chew out our area manager. "You don't have to bother coming in at all now," was part of the reply.

Wasn’t there when it happened but my manager told me. There was this military guy who came in high one day and held a big bowl of soup on top of his head and it apparently spilled all over the kitchen (which was open to the public to see), and when he left he apparently ran into our glass door. Must’ve been madness

20:56 I'm assuming the fact that the bitch didn't know OP was mixed means that OP is "passing" (as in technically a PoC but so light most people think they're white). As someone who also passes, I wonder if someday I'll be able to pop that on someone in such a glorious way as this. I actually clapped at this story, so damn good.

One of the stores I was playing 'cooler' for as an assistant manager(It as being shut down, and I have a reputation for doing that well, so I tend to get hired as a fill in when it happens as the assistant managers are always the first to quit). In this location, we were already like, a month from shutdown, and so I was being pretty laid back. So long as we redid the shelves at least once a day(Preferably two-five, but once works), to front the product, it's fine. Sent someone specifically to do that while I was on the phone with the owner negotiating a price for the office safe(Big fancy walk in thing) with a customer. Came back to find him having stacked the stuff up, and then 'leaf piling' it. The fact that over a dozen pieces of sellable merch were destroyed by him doing this got him fired, even if it was kind of funny.

Not a manager, but someone that works for the company I do stabbed a client. Needless to say, got a lot worse than fired, awaiting trial. This wasn't angry reaction stabbing, this was premeditated attempted murder stabbing.

@buggie_plant

Жыл бұрын

Oh jesus, why did they wanna kill em??

@101jir

Жыл бұрын

@@buggie_plant That's a question on everyone's mind right now. There was no reason immediately obvious to anyone. She is going for the insanity plea, but it probably won't work, there is evidence it was likely premeditated. My sister's theory is that it was envy for the relatively "simple" life some of these people have (heavy on the quotes) and as a struggling college student she may have become resentful, possibly hoping she would get similar treatment if she was shown to be insane. Nobody else has any theories that got around to me, so it is the best guess I have too. Something deeply evil and twisted, whatever the case.

@Gamemaster-64

Жыл бұрын

@@101jir Update?

@101jir

Жыл бұрын

@@Gamemaster-64 I don't have any new information. Though I could fill out how the line up of events went, though I will be leaving some things out to try and keep it relatively private (as private as it can be anyway)

I have one like the abortion clinic one, reserved for when I'm at home and after I know the call is a scam bot. I usually have just enough time before the bot hangs up to say "Pete's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce" If anyone wants to know, I did steal that one word-for-word, I think from a reddit comment, because it's just too perfect for me to change.

@iambatman6120

Жыл бұрын

I literally just peed myself at this. 😂 I need Jesus…

The version of that joke I heard was * City morgue, you kill them we chill them*

favorite part about the show Supernatural- they basically had a character who was a super fan *think like stereotypical fangirl obsessed with the fandom-* then throughout different episodes would occasionally make references to their "fans" since their lives were a book series... *in* the show-

2:28 Had a GF in college (ca. 1972) who had an acquaintance who'd answer the dorm's hall phone with "Henrietta's Hen House. We lay anybody!" 9:12 What bowling alley has an HR department?

I... have committed the sin of writing porn while at work. Admittedly the inability to concentrate meant it only really happened twice, and ffs I didn't even save it to the computer what a stupid ass thing to do.

Guy came in late and high, gets a second chance (that's amazing nobody deserves that) and instead tries to fight

@MewtwoStruckBack

2 жыл бұрын

Speaking as someone who’s never come into work high, why does nobody deserve a second chance? Yeah he deserved the axe whe he fought, but not all workplace discipline needs to go from 0 to fired.

when murdering, it's best not to boast about it in a canteen a week afterwards lol!

How tf is it sad that a proud murderer got life?? Some of these sympathizers man 🤦🏾‍♀️

14:54 there's some people that go do HAM at f*ckin up, you just admire them and laugh. This woman is one of those people! I truly thought the story was basically over after the fart. Nope. Excellent mild-twist at the end 😅

They had fired someone because they got a flat tire, than went into the parking lot found a cad

Nobody: Bot: The frih-cook

Two caeses at my work 1st three people fired for a fist fight not even out the security gate two from day shift(just leaving) and one from night (just got there) saw his mate getting beat and stepped in to help. 2 five people same night two one allowed the other to use her swipe id to get in as he 'lost' his card massive security risk. I mean replacement IDs are free! The other three for making only 2 boxes in about 4/5h when they are ment to be on like 6

I'm a pothead but I work my ass off to get my pot so not all of us are stupid lazy and heads in the clouds there's a 50-50 mix and if I don't smoke anything I will really freak out and start swinging I can't deal with people without being a little bit high

I'm a chef, and we are required to carry a chef certification!! Well this one guy did his test well he did the training but couldn't pass the test, so me trying to be helpful I helped him pass his test. Well even after the test and the importance washing his hands. This dude was caught walking around watching porn, the first time I told him he can't do that. The second I told him I'm trying to help him so he has to stop, the 3rd I told him I'm going to have to tell my boss if he didn't stop. The 4th I just act like I didn't notice him, but he was going out of his way to make it obvious, and finally the 5th I had to let him go

The man who was treated so derivatively by the receptionist...she wasn't the only one who needed consequences. Don't hire the snickering idiot waiting for the hiring manager. His response was just as bad. If you ever witness something like this and don't have the balls to stand up to the receptionist on the strangers behalf like I would, that's ok...but don't commiserate with her by snickering like what she did was cute.

Deja vu. This is maybe the third time I've seen this "new video"

26:00 Got a feeling that this happend when Vodafone bought Telecel XD

Why should a business be punished financially because some jackass embarrassed or hurt someones feels? They didn't create the prick, they shouldn't be punished for an individual's idiocy. That's disgusting.

16:36 and they say being high doesnt impair you. Sure. Lmao

13:31 I doubt this is the reason. Since he didn't even get out for them. But honestly, it could be the this car had issues in the snow that if powered off it would have trouble restarting and he would loose pay for not being able to return. He refused to leave it one and deliver the pizza in the fear that soemoen would steal the running vehicle without him there. But that still doesn't explain why he wouldn't be outside the vehicle. I mean he could have a legit fear of leaving it running in that case and standing outside it, someone could still steal it. But that's honestly more ridiculous as people would less likely steal something like that with someone right there next to it or what not. Another thought is like my previous job at the movie theater. The company could have a strict rule against whearing jackets over uniform. The theater was like this, but occassionally depending on the manager we were allowed when working outside. Eventually the company came up with little jackets that I think were and off brand north face. And were super nice for us to wear. Honestly, I would ask them since I was let go cause of the pandemic and if not for the pa demic when I was let go would have had my ten years there... I really should have asked them for one of those jackets. Would have been good compensation.😂🤣 But yeah we could get in serious trouble if the corporate found out of the previous jacket situation. And I think once someone did. So it could have been like that. But in a snwo storm people sould understand as your safteybsi important. Still even then not explaining yourself to the customer is plain rude. If I had any number of these reasons. I'd explain "I can't safely make it to the door, because of... (whatever reason). Ask if they're able to send soemoen who could come and meet me at the car. Even if it was the jacket thing. I'd at least get out when they arrived rather then staying the car. It's all sketchy. But I had to say this.

Fired for sleeping

The pot one was so stupid. Do people even think or hear themselves? Cigarettes are unhealthy. Pot can be very healing. And yet cigarettes are acceptable and pot is not. Stupid as hell.

I should have been fired like 100 times thank god for the labor crisis

My friend and I have a few versions of that abortion clinic and morgue joke.

I used to answer the phone with hello this is friendly finger proctology how can I help you? Then I did it one day and it was a manager reaching out to me to hire me. I got the job and am going on 3 years but it is a very cringe memory.

2:12 My friends have a running joke that they're gonna open an abortion clinic/pizzeria with the catchphrase "your loss is our sauce"

@Brokendog-wt4ul

2 жыл бұрын

You stole that

@kostakatsoulis2922

2 жыл бұрын

@@Brokendog-wt4ul no I didn't, my friends came up with it

@Brokendog-wt4ul

2 жыл бұрын

@@kostakatsoulis2922 this same thing was uploaded to reddit in 2015

@morticiaaddams7866

2 жыл бұрын

Not as good as my idea of a BBQ rib joint at the top of Donner Pass.

@kostakatsoulis2922

2 жыл бұрын

@@Brokendog-wt4ul 2015? I wasn't even on reddit in 2015, and I've got shit memory so I doubt I would remember it anyways

16:05 Lunar New Year.

I say “Tony’s abortion clinic, yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce, how may I take your order?”

@aspiechan420

2 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

17:50 my first thought was that guy's a fuckin snitch but he probably realized that if/when the other guy got caught he could be implicated if he didn't say anything

I can understand being comfortable at work but who in their right mind would think that it's ok to clean their gun on the job... Weather it's on schedule or off...

The fart story! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I had an employee scream at me how much she hated working there (she blamed it on family drama and later apologized), I told her that I heard what she said, and accept it as her two week notice, and told her she wouldn’t be on the schedule next month. I care about my employees, if their lives outside work suck I want to help them through it and hear them out, but you need to show respect to get it.

I saw some guy moderate subreddits on the clock.

Farting at the Netflix people. Don't do that. They only like to huff their own farts

@joelsterling1445

Жыл бұрын

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew

So what was the problem with her eating food ??? Just that she was eating on the job in front of customers ?

idk why the woman is upset to get that large you'd have to be doing it on purpose

24:00 jesus fucking christ

Definitely an employee and I bet it was a decent payout !

Meep

@jeanne5922

2 жыл бұрын

Moop

@jeanne5922

2 жыл бұрын

Beep

@ericamaese5340

2 жыл бұрын

meep

@HassanPlayz

2 жыл бұрын

bleep

Text is too small

Ew the FanFiction one .

200th repost of this crap. Lowest quality KZread channels.

Jnprofessinal, in the insurance world there's a position known as producer. Every single one of them I cheating on their spouses. They wine and dine clients, literally with hookers and blow in many cases. And they treat every other person that's not in their line of business like shit. They are great for bringing in business though so I guess that makes up for being a terrible human being.

Headphone girl needs a real job of her quality of work but I don't trust her making my food.

“Pete’s pizza and abortion clinic where yesterdays loss is todays sauce”