Get 25% off on Paired premium! Start your 7-day free trial by clicking the link here: www.paired.com/bryony25 Moving across the country has really ruined my nails, please don't judge them too harshly!

@lh9761

6 күн бұрын

Thank you 🌹

Man... The 2000s really were the Wild West of everything we would find problematic now. Every decade had its fair share of troublesome things, but the 2000s??? JEEZ!!!! I was a kid and remember seeing those ridiculous magazine articles. I've always said that if there was any other sexist decade besides the 50s/early 60s, it would be the 2000s

@BryonyClaire

6 күн бұрын

Yeah honestly the 2000's just went "caring about anybody's feelings is wrong" and decided to make things downright awful at the same time as calling it "comedy" and "progressive" like...no

@ErutaniaRose

6 күн бұрын

For real. I was a kid and I thought the whole decade was defined by just clothing and music for years. Then I actually studied the 2000s and my jaw DROPPED.

@FoxGameCZ

5 күн бұрын

I wonder how we will se the 2010s after a decade. What would change and if we will see it similliary to 2000s. I really hope things will get better and we will progress even more and be more accepting.

@FoxGameCZ

5 күн бұрын

​@@ErutaniaRoseI was also kid, so we didn't get to see the whole picture and thankfully we dodged a lot of stuff. I am also horrified by the stuff that was "notmal" back then.

@ErutaniaRose

5 күн бұрын

@@FoxGameCZ Gods, same!

we are truly all collectively traumatized from living through the 2000s on so many levels. woof. leave victoria alone!

As a 34 year old...the 2000s has made it rough with unpacking internalized bullshit, toxic norms, eating disorders, and making up for lost time on doing things that make me happy. I just hope every generation keeps improving.

I began to read my mum's Cosmos when I was like nine or ten. Are you telling me that these shiny mags rotted my young, developing brain?!?! I believe you 😂

My stepmom was so happy that I started being somewhat interested in Cosmo near the end of highschool in 2000 or so because I was a confident, nerdy tomboy and Cosmo was “normal.” I think it really influenced the next 15 years of my life, where I became the insecure, self hating young woman they promoted. I finally snapped out of it in my early 30s after I spent 8 years in an emotionally vacant relationship with a narcissist because I wasn’t confident enough to leave him. I am so glad that we are collectively doing more to challenge the narrative from that time. Thank you for all of your content that pushes back against the harmful messages focused on us.

@BryonyClaire

6 күн бұрын

It's so bad that you had to go on that journey from feeling happy in yourself to then feeling insecure and hating everything about yourself for years and doubting your self worth to the point where you were in a terrible relationship. I'm glad you've been able to move past all that but YIKES I wish you could've just skipped that whole middle part and just continued to feel happy in yourself as you were as a nerdy tomboy

@annmarieknapp

Күн бұрын

Young girls between 12 and 13 have historically shown plummeting levels of self worth in contrast to growing self esteem that teen males of same age display. Definitely periodicals like Cosmo catered to male fantasies and desires. I became interested in makeup and my appearance in that age range, to at least stop the bullying or the hope to blend. It never worked, I always felt ugly and undesirable until my mid-twenties when I came into my power. Now middle-aged I feel a bit like💯 I'm disappearing because ageism is also worse for women compared to men. Fortunately, I am strong, independent, and done with romantic relationships. Happily 4B and glad to see young women like this podcaster trashing the bs that is Cosmo magazine and other misogynistic propaganda pushed onto women. Glad that you are doing well now.

Wow. Cosmo was my teenage gospel - and I don’t remember it being… this disturbing (when it came to relationships, anyway). The misogyny was so obvious it makes my adult brain hurt for us young gals reading and believing in this BS.

@BryonyClaire

6 күн бұрын

Same! I was genuinely shocked when I re-read them

@Pinkladyisv

4 күн бұрын

I remember there was a lot about men but I don’t remember it being this bad either!

Damn, I am surprised I lived through out the 90s and 2000s. The misogyny in the magazine alone was enough to kill you. And the messed up diet culture and the ableism...ect. That explains a lot of my issues

This is why I decided not to date or marry men. I wasn't even male focused, but I was pulling myself apart trying to be everything society was demanding of us and men were happy to demand as well. Now I am a version of myself that men don't like but I finally like myself.

@HaleyMary

3 күн бұрын

I sometimes feel like men don't like me either these days. Now that I'm older I'm more confident than I've ever been. Ironically, men seemed to like me more when I lacked confidence. Very strange.

@valentingartner3793

3 күн бұрын

​@HaleyMary that's a common misconception, it's probably that you just looked a lot better when you were younger

@VideosForYou90

3 күн бұрын

Same for me!

I was not allowed these magazines, and I'm grateful

@DiscoTimelordASD

22 сағат бұрын

I'm so glad you were spared the mental anguish.

9:14 Because of how vague the consent laws are in my country (Norway) it is unfortunately a very common experience for people to experience SA in their relationships and then never reporting it. Because the law simply just doesn’t count it as SA. I’m one of those people. (Don’t worry I’m safe now)

@BryonyClaire

6 күн бұрын

That's terrible, I'm so sorry! That's so many levels of screwed up that it's so vague by law, it just endangers people needlessly. I'm glad you're in a better situation now but people should never have to go through that to begin with

@ladyhagaming

4 күн бұрын

🤗 sending you hugs from Denmark (I hope the laws gets better) I lived-in norway for 5 years

@emris2697

4 күн бұрын

@@ladyhagaming thank u! ❤️

@emris2697

4 күн бұрын

@@BryonyClaire ❤️

As a Millennial, Cosmo was such a mixed bag in my youth. On one hand, I just wanted to have an open conversation about women's issues, and Cosmo did that! But on the other hand, while I needed the conversation, the answers Cosmo came to were mostly 100% wrong, lol. Ultimately, they walked so internet feminists could run

@BryonyClaire

6 күн бұрын

It really was such a mixed bag - some great things, as in STARTING those conversations, or as I say, 🎀Barbie Feminism 🎀 but it recommended some really awful answers!

I read these magazines a couple times in the 2000s and I thought they were trash then

@aitzepe

3 күн бұрын

Me too. I hated everything about it. The language, the gossip, the obsession with looks, the expensive beauty products and insidious makeup tricks and tutorials, the women blaming and ridicule , the tearing down of every female they featured in every section of their issues, the lobotomization of any resemblance of intellect in any and every interview or female contribution... It annoyed me to death. And it wasn't just Cosmo or other magazines of its kind, it was every single magazine. There used to be these magazines that were gifted together with all Sunday newspapers, sort of a leisure side to the dark news inside the actual newspaper. Things were so nasty back then that it reached the point where they had this staple question in EVERY SINGLE INTERVIEW WITH A MAN (usually older to middle age): "If you were a woman, which part of your body would you be the proudest of?" I always felt half fascinated half pissed of by that. Until one day one of the interviewees answered the question with "my brain" -in contrast to the every week parade of t*ts, a$$es, lips and the quite rare "the back" expected. It blew my mind, no exaggeration here. Reading that somebody could consider a woman's brain not only a "favourite part" but even just A PART OF a woman's body left my teenager brain in such shocked state that I still don't know what to do with that. Like the fact that something like that during that era never happened before or since, the fact that no woman or man ever thought such could be a valid answer when asked about a woman's body, and the fact that I was so conditioned to think of myself as the physical appearance of my body first and foremost and only afterwards some useless irrational emotions floating over my neck and behind my face trapped in some sort of shapeless cloud... The shock of such realization blew my teenager mind to the point there still is debris scattered here and there. Like... I don't even know what to do with all that. Seriously. Wow. Just wow.

I grew up quite sheltered (religious), so I didn't really have access to these types of magazines. Once, when I was about 12, I got my hands on a teen magazine and started reading an article on "how to flirt." One suggestion was to practice flirting... on your dad. I wish I was making this up, but it was actually one of their suggestions. It gave me such a severe case of The Ick, I avoided magazines after that (even after I stopped being religious).

@happytofu5

13 сағат бұрын

Omg ew 😮 I grew up sheltered as well and I am glad I rarely read those magazines

Quitting your job because of a disability.. so relatable honestly. I am in the process of finding a low impact job because physical jobs hurt my joints too much and cause me too much fatigue. I'm genz and it's so hard to find a desk job because they all require experience or degrees.

@starchannel123

5 күн бұрын

Receptionist jobs require experience?

@inkorrow9310

5 күн бұрын

@starchannel123 in my area unfortunately. They all require one to three years minimum. I've only seen one or two that don't require it but those were for positions outside of my commute zone I set for myself

@katiefleece

5 күн бұрын

Apply anyway! A list of requirements is just a wish list for the employer. They might weigh experience and "culture fit" more than education! Don't sell yourself short.

@DestinyNeoGirl

3 күн бұрын

@@katiefleeceSeconding this. Despite the list of requirements, some jobs only have them as guidelines rather than hard rules. Though scary, try sending them your resumes OP! You might not get a lot of replies but you will get one eventually

Thank you! I'm 35 y/o and just around 5 years ago I started deconstructing the hellscape of a self-image the 2000s engraved in to me. Being an undiagnosed neurospicy teenager growing up in that time was honestly traumatic. We were bombarded with hundreds of those magazines (and tv shows) - catered to little girls, teenage girls, young adult women, grown women - all preaching us "how to get the man" and why exactly the sound of your laugh turns guys off. I'd like to send my recent therapy bills to these editors.

I hated Cosmo. My ex husband loved Cosmo. That was one of the first red flags I ignored. I told him I hated Cosmo because it degraded women.

I feel like simon asked "is it fashion or she just skinny?" before a lot of us.

@BryonyClaire

6 күн бұрын

or is the REAL secret to be a Victoria's Secret Model? 👀

@FishareFriendsNotFood972

6 күн бұрын

Hahaha, yes he's a clearly an undercover fashion girlie. Love that for him! Hope he's out there now living his best life and still s talking big sequin sack dresses

As a bi+ person with adhd, I confirm it was CONFUSING as hell .ddddd I remember that I used to try to maintain eye contact so much so I wouldn't be able to shift my focus to the actual content for the sake of having an eye contact 😂

@BryonyClaire

6 күн бұрын

And then people see you as rude for not listening but you were trying!

@ravenonthewindow

6 күн бұрын

@@BryonyClaire yeah they had to accept they can't always have it all in the hard ways 💅

@sammyvictors2603

5 күн бұрын

Hello fellow Bi (curious in my case) person with adhd (add in my case, no H). (but also on the ace spectrum in my case but still bi-curious).

@ravenonthewindow

5 күн бұрын

@@sammyvictors2603hey there!

Coercion isn't consent. Wished more people knew this, wish I'd learned it sooner.

Omg, yes, yes, yesss!!! I'm almost the same age as you (born in 1991) and gosh, the term "metrosexuality" still tries hard to plop into my mind all the freaking time! I'm also ace and before I figured that out, I religiously digged all those articles with s3x tipps because I thought I had to somehow learn how to be allo (which, of course, was a term I didn't know back then). I actually stopped reading Glamour magazine (which, I think, is produced by the same company as Cosmo) in 2012 due to an article about issues in your relationship s3x life that said if you don't want it, just do it anyway and push yourself through as doing it unwillingly is better than not doing it at all. I also vividly remember how Victoria Beckham was absolutely *trashed* when she first launched her fashion label. Oh, and she and a few others were also the regular subject of skinny shaming when they obviously had EDs. Because in the 2000s, whenever something bad was happening to women in public such as unhealthy boyfriends (ahem, Taylor Swift), the blame was put on them instead of questioning the situation. Oh my, and nlog and pick-me were pretty much a lifestyle! Hating on women like Kristen Stewart felt like a public sport. Another thing I remember was the upskirting incident on poor Emma Watson's 18th birthday (!) and comparisons between women who had this happen to them, sorting them into "poor them, that was SA" including *showing the pictures* and "nah, they were asking for it". Petition to rename the 2000s decade the decade of collective trauma!

@BryonyClaire

6 күн бұрын

Hahaha so many of those s3x tips sealed sections were ripped out by teenage me to make into my own "tip book" 😅 but it was ALL about "for him". There was a similar article in these cosmo mags which referenced a study which showed women don't have to be "in the mood" and that you can "trick yourself" to being in the mood, and actually not even being "in the mood" doesn't mean you can't have a good time! I was like 😬 reading through that article this time. We will be getting to the "scary skinny" and "let yourself go" almond mom circus next time because it was across every single one of these magazines, it was shocking.

@MusikGirl23

6 күн бұрын

It sounds like we’re almost identical in age (July 1990 baby). I was at a private school, and never really saw cosmo magazines, but even the ‘better’ magazines that I read in my preteen to teenage years were still somewhat problematic (looking at you discovery girls magazine that told readers as young as 7-9 (although I honestly didn’t feel the magazine was appropriate for under age 10) that their bodies were specific shapes and that they should wear certain bathing suits for those shapes, it caused a bunch of backlash at the time)….sigh.

@Tintenstreuner

5 күн бұрын

@@MusikGirl23 Judging from your nickname, we're apparently even both German. 😂

@AD-qq9bk

2 күн бұрын

I totally get you on the ace thing. I used to read a lot about s3x because I really believed I will train my brain and my body to want it. And many articles in the style you describe were part of the problem, because their basis was that the normal thing is everyone wants it all the time.

i loved reading but im so glad i mostly stuck to non fiction, comics, and cartoons instead of shallow gossip mags. never understood the appeal of those.

@sojabursche

6 күн бұрын

We had posters of movies in ours and that’s why I bought some. But then I read them because I felt like I was wasting paper if I didn’t read the rest of the magazine and just got the poster out

@May-qb3vx

5 күн бұрын

I mostly stuck with fantasy books instead of magazines. I got maybe a handful of these magazines and I ended up just rolling them up to stuff in the shafts of my Uggs to keep their shape lol

@HaleyMary

3 күн бұрын

I read some of them in the mid 2000s, but soon became bored of the magazines. I mostly just read the embarrassing stories sections for a laugh, but most of the articles were crap in my opinion.

Even my mom noticed the dichotomy of "Be yourself! Be confident! Do your career!" and on the very next page "10 ways to keep your opinion to yourself and agree to everything HE says". My mom was like "Do they even proof-read what they write?"😅 There was also that thing with "Throw away everything you don't really use!" and the next page -- "Here's 100+ useless home decorations that you absolutely need to buy, the price at request".

I feel like in the 90s we got ‘close’ to a step in the right direction with the whole riot grrrl movement and third wave feminism but then for some reason in the 2000s we did a complete 180 and took about 50 steps back in terms of progression and idk why

@BryonyClaire

5 күн бұрын

Yeah honestly I actually think the 90's was better in a lot of ways, in comparison to the 00's

I think I am the same age as you, so I was a teen in the 2000s. That time was wild, and I remember internalising a lot of the messages put forward in this video. Took me till my mid 20s and beyond to undo all that shit.

@BryonyClaire

6 күн бұрын

Same here, took me YEARS to undo the messaging

@sweariefaerie9621

6 күн бұрын

Same. Still working on it, too. I turned 18 at the tail end of 04, and thought I was far more badass than I've ever been. My 30s have been all about healing, and advising younger women to step into their own power before sharing it.❤

@Eniphesoj90

6 күн бұрын

@@sweariefaerie9621 Same here! I am slightly younger (born in 1990), but I remember reading this Dutch magazine called Tina when I was preteen. It was aimed at girls age 10-14 ish. It was not all bad to be fair, but I do remember reading the advice not to wear too revealing clothes because boys don't like that. Like... The slutshaming started when I was 11 years old?! Took me a very long time to undo that BS. I think really around 2013-2014, after I got sexually assaulted after a party. Everyone blamed it on me really, and I just thought "wait, this just isn't right", and from there I got into feminism, and I became the leftie I am today. I am glad to see more talk on consent and feminism being a bit less of a dirty word, but yeah.

I always had a major case of the "ick" whenever I saw an issue of Cosmo for sale. After watching your video, I'm so very happy I never purchased them! I loved Allure magazine, mostly for the gorgeous make-up photo spreads - the daubs, smears, powder spills, and textures were so fascinating to me as a person who enjoyed the playful experience of make-up. Not that I ever bought the expensive stuff they promoted, but it gave me ideas of how to replicate and substitute using cheaper brands. But seriously, those make-up item photos were super hot! Thank you for the great video!

@BryonyClaire

6 күн бұрын

As I wanted to get into ✨fashion✨ Vogue and Cosmo were my poison. Vogue definitely fell into some dark traps too, I kept some of those too during the move but those are now in storage for the mo. Allure magazine wasn't big here, from memory, but it sounds like it was really creative and fun!

@shamblepants1450

6 күн бұрын

@@BryonyClaire The most thrilling teen fashion magazine I ever saw was 'Sassy', run years from 1988 to 1996. They had that breathtaking and lighthearted photo of Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love on the cover in April 1992. I know one can access their content online, but to have the physical issues of this groundbreaking feminist and alternative style magazine to pour over would be bliss.

I took cosmo like a class and ran with it lol internalized, memorized, etc. it's taking me a while to unlearn :( sickening to see what my teenage self had to grow up with

@BryonyClaire

5 күн бұрын

I hard relate to this, I hope you're in a much happier place now!

I used to collect Cosmo mags while I was recovering from Inflammatory Breast Cancer and dealing with the emotions from a previous breakup. Once I got out the other side, I donated all my magazines to Dentist and Doctor offices. They never have decent mags there for the girls so I thought they might like some new stuff. I also donated some of my Music mags too.

This was a horrifying and validating review. I remember reading some of these articles and like being excited to learn about some of this? I am bawling thinking of our younger selves just taking this for gospel.

"brainwash yourself to like cricket" 💀💀💀

@BryonyClaire

6 күн бұрын

he really thought he was SO fUnNy!

Gen z is just as messed up by social media

I’m so glad I grew up an alternative girl and didn’t care about cosmo or anything like that. I was all about the MySpace html coding, going to underground metal shows and shopping at hot topic! I did have some body image issues but not nearly as bad as my older sister that got sucked into all the Cosmo shit.

@caitlingill

5 күн бұрын

I’m not a millennial but I’m an early 2000s baby and growing up in the 2000s and early 2010s as a kid means I HATED my naturally black hair (I’m mixed white/indian) and wanted to be blonde BADLY because of beauty standards. Discovering alternative subcultures as a preteen such as emo&goth helped me realise that having black hair CAN be cool in some spaces/areas (if that makes sense?) and helped me a lot. It also helped me realise I didn’t have to dress like a Barbie doll to be cool and there were other cool styles out there

I suppose I'm desensitized to everything else, but I didn't react until they came for BABYDOLL DRESSES!?! But they're so cute! LEAVE THEM ALONE!

I'm a millennial myself, and boy do I relate to this. I, too, had a really complicated and pretty traumatizing/unhealthy relationship with Cosmo...

I remember seeing these in the Walmart check out line when I was in Elementary school. I genuinely thought that was what I was supposed to look like (many of the people on the covers lied about not having plastic surgery). I started walking differently to try and get that shape (in like, 3rd grade). My back ALWAYS hurt and no one listened when I said so. Over a decade later, I mentioned it to my doctor. She hooked me up with a physical therapist to find out what was wrong. Turns out, there's a large muscle in your back that acts as a "corset." Mine was severely underdeveloped. The current theory is that it either happened from me walking like that when my body was developing or from having a heavy backpack. Or both, idk. So, you know, PSA: Don't let your kids around those & listen to your kid when they say they are in pain. I thought people just didn't care so I didn't bring it up after the first 2 years. Why bring it up if everyone is going to write you off? Parents are the WORST lol Edit: Also, yes, there is absolutely a collective learning journey happening. I would also argue that young men/boys are going through their own learning journey. When I talked about something that happened to me (tbh it wasn't that bad) one of my guy friends looked like he going to be ACTUALLY sick. Not to mention Baby Reindeer has caused a MASSIVE spike in male victims seeking help and feeling seen. That kind of representation is SO important.

@BryonyClaire

6 күн бұрын

The photoshopped covers really were extreme, even looking at them now it's wild that we didn't click how heavily photoshopped they were. The backpacks we used to carry were brutal! I'm sorry you were in so much pain and that it wasn't taken seriously

@PlutosTimeslot

6 күн бұрын

@@BryonyClaire So true! (I specified lying about plastic surgery just because mags in that area focuses on the Kardashians and Jenners, I have no issue with surgeries). Although my school did cover some of online safety, they never went over photoshop. Which is weird considering "photoshop" has been a thing for as long as there have been photos. Not to mention I didn't really know what a lot of adults looked like since my family lived in a state where we didn't know anyone + weren't related to anyone there. My hometown didn't have third spaces (generally) and we barely had sidewalks. The sidewalks that did exist around the local college were HEAVILY cracked & RIGHT next to the road. The town I live in now is SO different. They have buses you can use for free if you're a local college students & is $1 for a ride if you aren't. I'm doing much better now. Things are looking up. Hope you are doing well! :)

@mamasrelaxation8612

5 күн бұрын

I also changed my posture and that negatively affected my pelvic floor

@PlutosTimeslot

5 күн бұрын

@@mamasrelaxation8612 oh shit, hope you're doing better now!

I’m GenX and those magazines were the exact same when I was in my teens and 20’s.

I can't say that I was unaware of the things that were in Cosmo. Like you said, sooooo much of the 2000s was plastered with the stuff. There was also always that one friend who quoted Cosmo in every conversation you had. Though for the most part the early sharing of subcultures on the internet saved me from a lot of this stuff. I was deep into the anime, fantasy, goth, punk, grunge, and metal subcultures. I found that if you mixed up enough traits from everywhere people either walked away confused or recognizing you separate from any labels that were thrown around in the early 2000s.

I’m the same age as you and two cosmo articles are burned into my mind. One was one of those gray r*** ones that was about asking yourself if it is just you regretting it…yikes… and an article about how a woman had 8 abortions and how bad that was, if I remember right the message was a slippery slope thing.

@BryonyClaire

6 күн бұрын

Oh yeah, the "are you sure you weren't just a slut and now you feel bad about it? Well, thats part of life" aka just victim blaming like...no I'm pretty sure we know the difference between regretting a CHOICE and things happening against our wishes. "It's a slippery slope to allow women to have access to abortions, before you know it they'll go having 8 like this hussy" 🙄🙄🙄 "personal choice for women is BAD!"

It could have been called Pickmepolitan. Even I was surprised by the amount one internalized misogyny that was in the pages of the magazine at this time as we found out here. Some of the dating advice seems to come straight from current era PUAs and the red pill community. A co-equal relationship with a boyfriend seemed to be a foreign concept with all the "How to please your man" and "dont be a s***" articles that were prevalent at the time.

@DiscoTimelordASD

22 сағат бұрын

Their formula for getting a boyfriend was actually VERY simple: You have to act sweet, but a little flirty (so you're not boring) BUT ONLY A LITTLE FLIRTY! because if you flirt too much THEN you will look like a s*** and NOBODY will ever like you again. See? Easy🤓🔬🥼

These magazines hammered it into my brain that men only want the “chill, laid-back girl” and it seriously f’d with me. Made me into a pushover in my relationships. The amount of times I saw the words “laid-back” in those magazines to describe a man’s dream girl makes me never want to hear or see those words ever again.

The early 2000s gave me an ED. It was always hammered in your face to be a specific way. And i became that specific way but it doesn't help with anything. It made me a wreck.

It's interesting that cosmo was going in on Victoria Beckham. InStyle was all about her. Us stinky american girls could only dream of her level of chic.

I was an autistic teen: these mags told me how NOT to be, but never who I COULD be and that was a massive problem. I had so much more information on how to act "like a whore" that I just followed all that information on how to talk, dress, act etc. I had never even kissed a guy until I was 19 years old but I was called "a loose young woman" in more ways than you can imagine😂 TL:DR These 2000s mags told girls what NOT to be, instead of who they COULD be.

I will come back to watch this but for now just commenting so the algorithm knows to do its thing!

I never understood girlies who read this crap... they scared me 😭

@BryonyClaire

6 күн бұрын

Promise people like me weren't scary - just insecure and trying to "fit in"

@Szczurzyslawa

6 күн бұрын

@@BryonyClaire It was a looong time ago, all I remember was these girls being just big ol bullies; I could understand them even less since I never was attracted to guys, so their fixation about it all to that level and all connected to seeking relationships and validations were just so so alien to me. So I guess it's the fear of the unknown ahah

I read Men’s magazines back then. Even with the skantly clad women, I felt better about myself after reading those magazines than I did after Cosmo. Plus, the Men’s magazines had better and more interesting articles. ALL of the Cosmo articles were about getting and pleasing men. Despite being straight, I was into more than just trying to get a man.

omg new video. I just came back from my first swim of the year - a spontaneous trip to the pool w my twin. I had SO much fun. We stopped on our way back to get some sushi to eat at home. He closes the door and THE MIRROR FELL OFF?? okay, no prob. just the mirror, not the part that holds it. We laughed. Some lady laughed. got food, got home. Tired but yayyy now I have some quality entertainment after my funnies day hehehe

I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling well and wishing you a speedy recovery. 💛

I remember those mags from my late teens, early 20s. Most every article was a how-to on catering to male fantasies. I also remember the overuse of exclamation points!!!! Cosmo wasn't fighting sexism; it was feeding it.

It wasn't only Cosmo. Every single magazine promoted these kind of things and I believed them and that I was not good enough, that I was fat and some point even thought that I deserved being bullied because of it (or wearing glasses). Though I got more self esteem with 15 and forward that I stopped caring what others said but those teenage years accompanied me till my 30s.

@BryonyClaire

4 күн бұрын

Oh totally, and we'll be unpacking that more in my next video about diet culture of the 2000's. The glasses hatred was such a prevalent and strange thing, I'm really sorry the 00's was such a rough ride for you, too

@craftly_Bixie

3 күн бұрын

@@BryonyClaire thank you so much, also for your kind words. If you didn't fit the narrative from society and looked slightly different, people threw you under the bus. Looking forward to the other video on these topics. You do an amazing job in talking about this. It is healing a bit for me and really sad at the same time to see that what I thought to only be a "me"problem to have happened to others or experiencing and having similar thoughts. I just hoped creators like you would have existed in the early 2000s and provide such a plattform on those toxic magazines

I love Paired! My partner and I are long distance and have been for our entire 6-year relationship (though we are closing the distance next year!). We are able to visit each other a handful of times a year, but Paired has been really nice for us to connect a little bit more each day (or submit joke responses and make each other giggle)

I used to loved and hated Cosmo. I hated it because both my sisters kept trying to get me to read the articles about men and how to improve myself. I loved it for all the fashionable looks. I never liked the way it catered to the male gaze even though I didn't know that is what it was doing. The article seems too much like the " Harlequin Romance Books." Almost every plot had a woman/girl who was strong headed who refused to be some silent abused woman until she met the lead man who often tamed her in one form or fast though streaming screen sometimes against her will initially until he used his "piercing eyes". Yeah, that. Hope your situation improves soon, and I really appreciate your channel. I am relatively new to your channel and I don't know if you did this topic. It not could you address the lopsided Romance books for girls/women. Would love to help with research.

I remember stealing those magazines when I was a toddler 💀

@BryonyClaire

6 күн бұрын

Fair - they're shiny and bright colours!

Oh God!!! I'm cringing so bad at my younger self because I use to desperately leaf through Cosmo everytime I was at my local supermarket at TWELVE!!!! To get ANY tips on how to get a boyfriend, not caring that they didn't make any sense to me at all or fit in to what I was going through during that time in 2006 that I just entered Middle school and not even being a week in being labled the "ugly undateable nerd" and felt that I needed Cosmo to get me out of that box and make me attractive in front of my classmates. And also because I saw a lot of movies and TV shows that had the main characters use Cosmo to fix themselves and it ended up working for them getting the man at the end of the episode or movie and I naively believed that it would turn out that way for me too 😅

I'm not in English-speaking country and there was a stash of old Cosmo magazines bought by my aunt in my room when she moved out and I moved in. Those magazines were much older, somewhere around 98-01. And I was too young to read them properly, it was just not so interesting, but there still were supermodels, and I just had a crush on Christy Turlington. Looking back now, I see perfectly well that she presents a pretty unobtainable beauty standard, but gosh she was so incredibly beautiful and still is. Maybe it's the kind of things I want people to take from those magazines: some pretty stuff that they can adore for decades.

I didn't read Cosmo back then (or now) because I don't think I would have been allowed with all of the explicit topics, haha but I realize I'm still familiar with all of the same messaging. It's absolutely ridiculous, and at the same time, a part of me is like "Well, isn't that just how you have to be (as a woman)?" Ahhh! No!! What a gross time. Also, I should note, I was aware of all this, but was still just a gross dorky teen who hated themselves, and even though I think the ideas of the 2000s are absurd and I don't put those ridiculous standards on other people, I think I still, at 32, feel like I suck because I don't live up to them. I hate that. p.s. I hope you get some nice recovery time soon, Bryony!

Im a 28yo trans man so i remember reading and internalizing these. Theyre even worse than i remember lol

Wait, I'm like 1:06 in and I had to pause because *Karen* and *Becky* wrote in? And were printed right on top of each other? That's almost too perfect.

It'll be interesting to see the things we cringe about the stuff coming out now in 20 years. We've definitely moved forward a lot in a lot different ways but the resistance to change in strong!

I used to love magazines. Grazia was mine and seeing it all laid out like this is pretty eye opening. I wish I still had some of my magazines but I didn't have a home up until a year ago...

The 2000s were the era of the "Cool Girl" phase/trope. The people loved that archetype back then. She was not like other girls but a Cool Girl, bascially she was a frat boy in the body of a super model.

Man I remember picking up a Cosmo behind my Mom's back (she said it was garbage) because other girls my age loved it. I'm proud to say I quickly understood why it was garbage.

It was a different time. I remember reading my mom’s Cosmo and looking up words like orgasm in an honest to god dictionary made of PAPER. 😂😂😂

As a twenty something I truly despised it, but kind of was made to think I was a prude and kill-joy for doing so and not enjoying the "carefree approach". Jeeezuz.

I thought it was just Disney that ruined my brain, but i forgot about Cosmo until seeing this 😢

Im a millennial and autistic, so at 34 im still trying to unpack all of the internalised crap from these magazines....

When I was studying at the university, there was a provincial girl, who worked in Cosmo and had no time or no desire to study properly, so I had to help her, so she would get normal grades.

Hope things get easier for you Bryony, I enjoyed the video!

Hi Bryony! Thank you for this video, looking forward to the part 2! Sending you lots of calm good vibes from Finland! ❤

You know, one thing that made me, a femme-assigned aroace, start unlearning all of this is how I realized I love every form of art centered around strong, dominant women and that really, a lot of men also love that XD It was giving 'Not everyone's tastes are like yours, different palettes have different appetites' and I'm really glad that dominant, no-nonsense women are the peak taste of pop culture currently, although there needs to be conversation on depicting women as people first before that same dominance is seen as a 'catering' to those types of men

That magazine traumatized and scarred me beyond repair.

I think you've earned yourself a comfy AtLA rewatch, my friend. Wishing you comfort and relief.❤

Thank you for the good "fluffy" video :) I also needed something "fluffy" now. You had a difficult period, but you are strong & beautiful young lady, and above all - a smart one!

Adding a comment for the algorithm because I think this video is an extremely important time capsule to remind us of how things were. You also made a comment about how one edition of Cosmo gave advice that directly contradicted another edition... and I immediately thought of today's content farms where articles about anything are constantly churned out by underpaid workers. How did these magazines have so much to talk about? They didn't- they had dashes of good girl advice beset by streams of whatever shit they could get away with publishing. Amazing video and sending healing after your move!

I just looked up on my phone when Cosmo magazine was first published and apparently, it was first published in March 1886 in New York City by Schlicht and Field as a family magazine, meant to focus on topics such as fashion, cooking, household decor, and other domestic interests. It then became a literary magazine in 1889. I'd also read that this concept had continued into the Jazz Age but had fizzled out by the 1950s. In the 1960s, it became a women's magazine, and in the 1970s, under Helen Gurley Brown, it had become the magazine we know today. According to this entry, the magazine currently features short fiction and articles on topics such as relationships, sex, fashion, and careers, and it was being praised for being so globally successful. However, what this entry didn't mention was all the topics you just discussed, such as sexism, victim-blaming, and ableism. Now, I live in the U.S., and the American version isn't much different than the Australian version you described. I've only read one issue in 2003, but mostly it was for the hot men! Otherwise, a lot of the advice didn't really pertain to me, at the time. I'm on the Autism Spectrum, and the dating advice was mostly neurotypical, plus I was single at the time. A lot of it was, as you suggested, very sexually charged: How to look good for him, how to please him in bed, etc. I'm 45, and currently single, and I wouldn't try to follow this advice, even now. It's a shame that it lost its substance over the years. Thanks for this video!

Best wishes for ease through all the changes ❤

In Germany we still have a specific magazine catering to girls between 11-17 id roughly say. They were just these magazines but light. Dating, you MUST be interested in boys and heres makeup you MUST wear. I am asexual and lesbian and cuz these magazines, i felt forced to date guys and want to do bed exercise with them. Because the magazine said thats what girls MUST want in their teenage years. Diets and clothing trends must do and haves were prevalent too. Its so terrific,its part of why i need therapy and i had a miserable time for a good amount of my life. Wish i had not listened to magazines like that xd

@BryonyClaire

5 күн бұрын

It's so heteronormative and filled with amatonormativity, it's such a sign of the times back then as that's what all the messaging was. I'm really sorry you felt forced to "assimilate" into a way of life that wasn't at all genuine to you, it would've totally screwed you up, I hope you're doing much better now

Wow! The tone of that era of Cosmopolitan seems so bitchy and female negative. And celebrity obsessed. Ugh. I'm so sorry young women of the 2000s had to put up with that tripe. When I started reading Cosmo (1978-1984) it was a form of feminism light, but did validate what women wanted; firstly, sex. The right to have it without guilt, enjoy it and be empowered to ask for what you wanted in bed. Second was to have a career and delay, or avoid, marriage if one wanted. Yes, there were still articles on enhancing one's sexiness, dieting and decoding men, but it was more with a sly wink and making assertive moves. Definitely not bitchy or about being the cool girl. And celebrity coverage was minimal to nonexistent. Back then models were on the cover looking very glamorous in their Francesco Scavullo cover picture.

Ok. So, I’m excited about part 2, and if you don’t mind advice from a well intentioned subscriber, maybe you should record something you find really really really lighthearted and encouraging. We’ll watch it! You have enough going on. Take care 🌸 Edited to add “really really”

@osmanthea

4 күн бұрын

I would love to know if anyone remembers new moon mag! If so and its not just me, it would be so cool to see a review of a more age-appropriate, progressive mag intended for girls and it wouldn’t raise our collective blood pressures so much ❤ take care bryony and get well soon!

I’m so glad I just binge watched Talk Sex with Sue Johanson instead of reading Cosmo. Whenever I did pick up Cosmo I could feel my already feeble self esteem bottoming out almost instantly

I remember one show I worked backstage crew (early 2000s, in my late teens), there were such long gaps between scene changes/in rehearsal that a couple crew members brought piles of Cosmo and Maxim magazines, solely so we could kill time laughing at the stupidity of the articles.

17:01 color coordination! It’s important always!

I’m not a millennial but I’m an early 2000s baby and growing up in the 2000s and early 2010s as a kid means I HATED my naturally black hair (I’m mixed white/indian) and wanted to be blonde BADLY because of beauty standards. Discovering alternative subcultures as a preteen such as emo&goth helped me realise that having black hair CAN be cool in some spaces/areas (if that makes sense?) and helped me a lot. It also helped me realise I didn’t have to dress like a Barbie doll to be cool and there were other cool styles out there

Thanks for the thoughtful video, and I am so sorry for your health concerns, I wish you rest and the best of care ❤

I began reading cosmo when i was 17 i was raised in a conservative Christian family so sex wasn't really discussed as anything other than something for husband's and wives to discover once they were married. So reading it made me feel a little bold and rebellious. But I never liked the way there was no acknowledgment that engaging in sex is actually risky for women, physically and reproductively. Not to mention emotionally. The writers sort of took for granted that every reader would be engaging in casual flings and one night stands; bith things i thought were not a good idea even as young as i was. I stopped reading it at 19. I was a freshman in college and focused on preparing for my professional life. The cover had an article something like "Be your best self at the office!" So i bought the issue. When i flipped to the article i wanted the tag line was something like "how to be the office sex kitten" i was so offended. Who the hell thinks being the office s4x kitten is anyones best self? At the time, i knew that presenting sexualy at the office wasn't the way to gain professional success. That it would, in fact, be counterproductive, and i was enraged that i had spent my hard earned money for something that promised to help but would actually hurt me. At the time I didnt have the language of the male gaze. And i didn't understand about male edditirs promoting their own juvenile fantasies onto their readers. But i had the common sense to know that if cosmo could promot this trash, then probably a lot of the rest of what i had read was trash, too. So i threw it away and have never looked back.

After watching this video, I sure am glad I was too young to read throughout the 2000s. All the s3x advice would’ve confused my asexuality even more 😵‍💫💫. (Note: I’m not shaming, only sharing my pov thanks 😊)

May I just say that I appreciate you? I really do! We seem to be exactly the same age, and we seemed to have had a very similar coming-of-age phase. I see echoes of this era everywhere still today, and it’s hard to explain the whole context to people in their teens and early 20s now, still very vulnerable to all of those narratives. Thank you for the deep dive! I grew up in precarious working class conditions, and I used to leaf through these magazines as a portal to a shiny fancy world that didn’t exist around me. As a byproduct I gulped all the toxic messaging too :(

Thank you for mentioning neurodivergent people. Most of my life, I had no idea I was one of them and there are definitely many negative things I internalised from these magazines.

Sending love to you and your partner. Having to let go of things because of health is always a difficult decision ❤

Congrats on quitting your job and moving house. 🎉 2 things I probably will have to do for health reasons too. I will need a relative close to ground level or elevator accessible building. And a job where I don’t trigger my pots every 5 minutes by walking and crouching and sitting and getting up.

@BryonyClaire

6 күн бұрын

It's so tough out there trying to find something that works, especially as places are demanding people to come back into the office/workplace when jobs can be done remotely. It's been a very confronting journey seeing all the things I can no longer do, and struggling everyday. I didn't want to quit but here we are. I really hope you find a work situation and living situation that works for you 🤍

Who else caught compulsive heterosexuality from cosmo magazine in the 2000s ✋

Even though the specific topic was not my thing the fact that it felt to me like it was a completely honest take with genuine important points worthy of contemplation made the documentary worth watching until the end. Nice work.

26:43 As a Canadian I am horrified this isnt the norm in the US

I am soooooooooo glad that my mom never let me touch these, I was reading New Moon magazine and then progressed to 17, teen vogue and Elle girl (the latter 2 I’m realizing though probably had a lot of issues too, especially related to white supremacy and classism…and the misogyny was no doubt just intellectualized and hidden much deeper down). But New Moon was the best and I’m proud to say I was influenced by such an empowering mag for young girls! I am also curious whether they were at all gender inclusive because I don’t remember

This makes me so happy the only magazines I ever read were NatGeo, my dad’s Retro Gamer issues, and random special interest stuff like drawing and music.

@zkkitty2436

5 күн бұрын

I was looking through old natgeo magazines for collage stuff and those magazines had a lot of problems too. They were filled to the brim with orientalism, racism, and Islamophobia. I’ve loved natgeo for most of my life but looking at the stuff they were publishing when I was born really makes me fundamentally question the quality of their research and the people they decided to hire, bc despite their reputation that shit was atrocious.

@odothedoll2738

3 күн бұрын

@@zkkitty2436 I see your point but it depends how old they are. I started getting them around 2018. I deleted my old comment because I didn’t realize it sounded kinda rude lol.

“Feminism in the 2000s was the dirtiest word, you couldn’t say that you were a feminist” YES!!! Preach girl. That’s how the things were back then, unfortunately. PS 99% of celebrity women were degraded in the media and people were totally fine with it, like it’s a normal thing to do.

Ive always hated cosmo but im even more mad that not many people talk about how trash of a mag cosmo is

Stopped reading them years ago. Got fed up of being told how to live my life. And being told how inadequate you are as a woman. Good Housekeeping was better. It had good recipes travel features, and they tested or trailed skin care and make up. That was all you needed.

Aw, sending you a parasocial hug Bryony and hope you get some time to settle x

My friend gave me a stack of cosmos and I got super low self esteem and then thought I had to have a threesome to keep my boyfriend (now husband) happy or he would always wonder about it and eventually cheat on me. I talked to him about it and he was like WTF ?!? I DONT want to do that! But the magazines were written with such conviction and supposed research (talking to like 4 people about their experience is not acceptable research lol). Luckily I did not have a threesome I was not interested in and through the magazines away. Also the advice for eyebrows from 17 and Cosmo wrecked my eyebrows for a long time. Remember how to angle to comb from your nose 🤪