This is one of your best videos and one of the best analogies for depression and other mental illnesses I've ever heard.

@Mathematchit

16 күн бұрын

Not to kiss ass but, Dr. Scott is good, really good especially when it comes to definition of things

@KM-wv2og

15 күн бұрын

You took the words right out of my mouth❤

@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142

13 күн бұрын

I am not depressed ok 😊 14:04

@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142

13 күн бұрын

Patient ! ! I am not the problem people are not very much alive anymore ‼️ 15:43

@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142

13 күн бұрын

@@KM-wv2ogReally …….😅 15:43

Yes, l struggle with consistency. Highly functional..then depression, boredom sets in. And l self sabotage. All the work gone out the window. It's like depression is so familiar....l go back to it for comfort.

@davidmitchell2926

13 күн бұрын

Same

@dawnturitto8442

10 күн бұрын

It's because we don't trust the positive to continue, so we sabotage it to prove ourselves right. It's a demented defense mechanism.

I am a florist. I designed a sweater for my online shop that says “If I were a flower, I would be an orchid.” I realized this back in 2020 and embraced it. Orchids are extremely high maintenance and sensitive, but they are beautiful. To maintain one is an honor. Be grateful you’re an orchid, sensitive souls 🤍

@lynneclothier3349

14 күн бұрын

Interesting you mention orchids - as they can present as low maintenance! they seem better when ignored - when you buy them from the supermarket and they last two months. Havent managed to keep one after two bloomings. Perhaps like orchids it can look like everything is good! But to sustain an orchid its a lot more complex

@melidacartagena8355

5 күн бұрын

I love you Orchid 🙏🌷

I think this is because we as a society look down on "high maintenance" people and treat needing care as a moral failing. It has taken me years to start actually tending to my needs, even after realizing that this was the case.

This sounds similar to the idea that some people are more like daisies- they are resilient and can find a way to thrive anywhere. And some people are more like orchids- very sensitive to environment & conditions & people & everything and need a very particular sort of environment to really thrive. I’m definitely a high maintenance, high ceiling, low floor, orchid sort of person. Still working on accepting it & being kind to myself. Thank you for sharing!

Thank you so much for this reminder Scott! I literally was just thinking the other day.., “f*ck me… I have to create so much parameters - (meditate, take supplements be mindful of everything, etc ).., just to be NORMAL…”, when Most people just need to do the bare minimum, are pretty unconscious, don’t cultivate deep introspection, yet are highly functioning and achieving so much in life !

@Rick40years

15 күн бұрын

Me too. I've been very high achieving as well. Sometimes I really envy people who don't think. Not in a mean way.

@collinfoster2684

14 күн бұрын

It just gets so tiring sometimes. Especially when people just think you are being spoiled and selfish and you desperately wish you could be low maintenance.

@ADHDmothership

11 күн бұрын

ADHD and/or autism...

Your statement "I am a high-maintenance person" you made in one of your videos has literally changed my life. It has stuck with me since then and I have to think about it all the time. I've made a lot of seemingly minor changes and the impact has been incredible. I, too, am an Italian sports car and you helped me figure that out. Can't thank you enough for all the work you do here!

@saintejeannedarc9460

16 күн бұрын

Can you express why it has helped so much and the changes you've made that have made such an impact?

@thomasb2540

16 күн бұрын

@@saintejeannedarc9460 The very same statement massively helped me too. I can’t speak for them but for me it was the little choices like making sure I got a good nights sleep by going to bed early rather than watch another hour of tv, ate more nutritious food rather than a full pack of cookies, going for a walk rather than scrolling KZread. Minor adjustments like these seemed to compound into a much healthier mindset.

@MinsHome361

15 күн бұрын

I'm probably the Mini I drive. High ceiling - low floor 🫶 thank you for the kudos of managing to work through 🖐Loss and grief will hit harder as you age - family, friends, jobs, health. Get yourself set for the triggers - watch what you eat, get rest, easy exercise - the power of walking in trees 🌳great video 🌟

@harbingerbk9778

14 күн бұрын

​@saintejeannedarc9460 for me - the idea of being "high maintenance" has a negative connotation. We perceive it as selfishness. But to accept and honour that fact that you're a high maintenance person - to approach it with self-compassion, to know it about yourself without judgment... that's what helped for me. It's not negative, it's just a fact. I have high highs and low lows and I am high maintenance. And that's okay.

@Faith_First001

12 күн бұрын

@_Lord_of_Misrule_ • Your comment helped me sooo much. I just wanted to express gratitude. But also your comment @harbingerbk9778 as well hit me hard as heck, because that is the one thing that I have finally tried(I say try because the toxic shame will ALWAYS be there to attempt to hold me back) to implement in my life. How can we move forward if we are demonizing every move we make? We cannot. So by having a little self compassion allows me to have a little self confidence and finally I’m starting to live a relatively normal life, with seasons of happiness and calm. Thanks guys. I love this community so much.

Italian Sports Car here! Best analogy I have EVER heard that sums up the essence of my existence.😂 I suddenly feel significantly less alone and ashamed. I think I'm going to stop putting all the Toyotas and Nissans in my life on a pedestal. I'm officially accepting this as my permission slip to be high-maintenance.

I have seen some comments about depression like “don’t remind yourself that you are depressed “ or “don’t use the disorder as an excuse “ . I am curious that if they will ever tell a person with a crane that the crane is just an “excuse for not walking normally “. Being mentally ill is not fun. I have been told that “ are you sick because you want to get attention?” But still I won’t say “ You should try that yourself” because that is truly a living hell no one deserves.

My brother had an Italian Fiat Spider, hot red and very, very cute. It blew the clutch at 9,000 miles, the warranty was 10,000. It required taking the engine out. The gal at the dealer cheerfully filled out the paperwork, and he asked, does this happen often? She cheerfully said, "Oh yes. But usually not so soon."

Just did exactly that! Was feeling great, making progress, then some 'bad' news sent me down again. I know what to do, but I'm just so sick of the effort it takes to pull myself back up again. Thanks again for your content. You are the ONLY psychologist on KZread worth listening to.

@saintejeannedarc9460

16 күн бұрын

I know how you feel about that. When I'm not depressed, I can roll w/ the punches. I've been in one for 2 years though. Longest it's ever been and it's damn scary, because my usual time of coming out of them is long in the past, so I have no idea when this time. I've thought I was coming out it a few times, and have been finally doing better the last few weeks. Plowing through a bunch of big hurdles. The first few times I felt I was coming out of the depression I was really happy about it. This last time, I'm really more, meh, we'll see. Trying not get to too up about it, because I know I'll feel that much worse if it's another false start. Trying not to be too gloomy about it. Not sure how to strike that balance? Had a few blows again lately and just feel myself plunging again. I don't really know how to not plunge. I wish I knew.

@pearljameric

15 күн бұрын

Right there with you. Some recent bad news has also sent me backwards. I'm dreading telling my therapist this week but hey it's the truth. Really does feel like 1 or 2 steps forward and one step back.

@saintejeannedarc9460

15 күн бұрын

@@pearljameric I'm trying to hold onto what someone said in here. If you're two steps forward, one step back, at least your still making a bit of progress. Even if you're 1 step forward, one step back, your still making progress even if it canceled itself somehow. Our perception tends to get warped when very depressed where we can't see the positive as well as the negative.

@pippacarron1861

15 күн бұрын

@@pearljameric I'm sorry that happened to you, but I'm not sure why you are "dreading telling your therapist"? Surely you would look forward to telling your therapist so they could be empathetic and give you guidance as to how to handle the situation?

@mordecaiissad8529

11 күн бұрын

​@@pippacarron1861i can't speak for them, but I had a conversation about a similar thing with my therapist. My therapist is empathetic and caring, but all I want is being able to say I'm doing better and handling things. And sinking down again and going into freeze, makes me dread my sessions because I feel like I'm failing and I have to tell my therapist I am, I have to come face to face with it. I told her I know it's silly and irrational but I feel like apologising to her for constantly just bringing her my pain and failings. And the last year really felt like every time I manage to make some progress something happens that sends me back.

Many years ago, a friend of mine told me I was a Testarossa. I didn’t know what he was talking about. Now I do-and I qualify for antique plates! 👩🏻‍🦰

This resonated a lot with me. I'm in a position where I feel like I am driving a car that has not been maintained for quite a while. Parts are falling off and there's several alarms going off all the time. You are overwhelmed and don't even know where to start because everything seems life-threatening and urgent. If I translate that to my current life I am being threatened by a forced job change that comes with losing lots of benefits for my mental health and financial cuts. At the same time I trying to improve my physical health with a diet change. It feels impossible to tend to this with equal care all the time. So I made the decision to prioritize finding a new job where my mental health will be better and then I will get back to fixing my physical health.

@Job.Well.Done_01

16 күн бұрын

I relate to this: Warning lights going off! 1. My teeth need a dentist 2. My student loans need paid 3. I need a new job, but don’t want to lose benefits 4. I want to see my kids more often 5. I need to pay overdue bills Trying to function with a lot of pressure ! It’s hard!

@michellet796

11 күн бұрын

Yes! I've been prioritizing my mental health ahead of some physical issues because I know either my mental health contributes to the issues or I won't be able to go through with things without getting my mental health in order. Maybe it's like an engine overhaul or something for me because I ignored my needs to please others for too long. I can look back to the start if my process though & I think I have less super low days or at least I've learned better ways to cope by being forgiving of myself and using encouraging words to myself instead of chastising.

@Job.Well.Done_01

11 күн бұрын

@@michellet796 what happened in your life that contributed to this inner dialogue of yours?

@dawnturitto8442

10 күн бұрын

I totally agree with setting priorities, but I promise you that making small strides to improve physical health will translate into improved mental health and productivity. Go for walks, eat whole foods, and stay hydrated. Start there and good luck in your search for wellness.

If you're 2 steps forward, 1 step back. Then you're making consistent progress in the long run and have nothing to worry about. A lot of the time, that 1 step back isn't really a 1 step back at all. It's a resting period preparing you for your next step forward.

@kikijewell2967

16 күн бұрын

1 step back can be not paying bills, or running up credit. Or starting to smoke or drink again. It can be rough in that period of time, and cause long lasting damage. I appreciate the positive spin though.

@denisel780

16 күн бұрын

@SSJfraz I love this perspective!!

@SSJfraz

15 күн бұрын

@@kikijewell2967 I would say that not paying bills, running up credit or taking up smoking/drinking would be quite a bit more than 1 step back. 1 step back is more akin to skipping a day at the gym or having a cheat day after eating really healthy for a few weeks. 1 step back isn't a big deal if you've earned the right to have a day off and recuperate.

@Thalanox

13 күн бұрын

​@@SSJfraz That _is_ what the phrase means. We're constantly drowning and only occasionally able to struggle to the surface for air. Then, we quickly exhaust ourselves and sink again. Hopefully we got close enough to the surface to get a quick gasp of air, but it's a lot more struggle and failure than success.

@kikijewell2967

7 күн бұрын

@@Thalanox omg I've said exactly this thing: that I feel like I've been drowning for the last 4 years, barely gulping air, when I manage to get my head above water. I'm desperately wanting to just tread water, even more so to swim and make progress. Right now, I'm barely keeping alive...

I'm not sure if anyone will see this, but I wanted to say thank you Dr. Scott for being a voice of self-compassion and vulnerability. I'm coming out of a really rough depressive episode. The storm has passed over, and my inner tide has settled down after nearly drowning me. Coming back to a video where you speak with such transparency, vulnerability, and empathy is so soothing and reassuring to me on a day when brushing my teeth is a small victory. You speak from your own experiences with a rare softness and humility that's often forgotten due to age, success, happiness, or even out of sheer self-preservation. Your unique perspective and voice is a gift to many. Thank you for doing what you do and being who you are❤

I don't think I fall under this specific category, but just looking at my mental health journey and being an hsp I'm familiar with the additute. "Everyone else is fine, you should be too", "I just need to push through this", "I don't need/want the special treatment". And the truth is, society often plays a role in developing these beliefs about oneself. Like male strength stereotypes, being too quiet is bad, being alone makes you weird, really lots of things make you weird apparently.

Welcome to the world of a being (physical & invisible)disabled person living with bipolar 2 and going through perimenopause! Having said that, what I also realized about myself (some time ago) is I have to "fill myself up" If I don't, no one else will and it's just exhausting. It's like watching these videos. I consume and ingest a lot of information to "fill up". To keep going. But, I'm never actually "full" or full of what I really need so I get empty quickly and easily. It's not possible to give yourself everything you need all the time and keep that going.

@RachaelAnnMalai

15 күн бұрын

I hear you💕

@cerulean93

15 күн бұрын

Perimenopause has *not* been kind to my mental health, oh my gosh. Why did no one warn us?!!

Like today. I'm 75 and watching/ listening to this video at 2:15 in the afternoon, unable to get out if bed. I feel fear and terror and have been weeping for 5 or 10 minutes every so often. I can barely clean my cat's litter and feed him. I'm paralyzed right now, unable to function. I don't want to live right now. I'm alone, lonely, isolated and so depressed.

@gazelle3635

16 күн бұрын

Daniel, hang in there. Maybe today is a bad day but you are not alone. Watching videos like this are good. Take it easy, don't be too hard on yourself. Hugs to your kitty cat.

@sunshine9122

16 күн бұрын

You are not, alone, Daniel. I'm in the same boat as you. Thank you for sharing how you're feeling. Sending you a big hug.

@deborahbull5968

16 күн бұрын

😢😢i feel the same sometimes your not alone x

@wendycopeland5147

16 күн бұрын

You are not alone. I'm where you are. Sending you love & hugs ❤

@klanderkal

16 күн бұрын

Dam. !! Same here. I lost so much lately, I can't explain. I'm so completely devastated from all the multiple losses!, including my career job. I'm totally alone now... suffering from severe depression, anxiety, insomnia ... I just cry all the time. Depression is so debilitating, and ruined my mind with negativity, and regrets. I don't like living anymore also. I'm mentally paralyzed. I too have cats,...

Thank you for putting that into words. I’m low maintenance for a large part of life, but there are a couple of things I require to function as well as I can. The biggest one is sleep!

Thank you for this video! I definitely feel like I’m a high ceiling low floor type of person, and I often beat myself up for not being as low maintenance as the average person. There are some tidbits I picked up along the way (that may just be personal idiosyncrasies) that have helped me manage myself better and perform more reliably and consistently. 1. Getting a good night’s sleep, which is part of the maintenance portion that Dr. Eilers mentions here. I find that very often, a good night’s sleep springboards me to a productive day where I feel really good and refreshed, and even a night of sleep where I skimp out on half an hour or 45 minutes of the sleep that I personally happen to need makes the next day much more likely to be crummy. 2. Be kind to yourself (which Dr. Eilers mentions towards the end of this video as well as being patient with yourself). Fine tuning a 70’s Italian sports car takes time, and every once in a while you’ll almost inexplicably have a crummy day after a trend of good days or after you feel like you’ve made good progress. Don’t make it worse by chucking your wrench in frustration into your windshield. Just work on either salvaging the rest of your day, or starting over again tomorrow, preferably after a good night’s sleep. Hope this helps!

Thank you for your empathy. I'm crying. That hits. It is one of the parts I'm struggling the most. Especially today ... Not functioning like I want and knowing there are these times I could. Not what I want to hear today, but perhaps what it needs.

@janetslicer3637

16 күн бұрын

You are not alone Hannah! Please know that. I am 70 years old and I hear and feel you. Your friend, Janet

@hannahmuller6694

16 күн бұрын

@@janetslicer3637 Thank you!

I’ve learned to hate feeling good. That’s when I try to start projects, business’s, or friendships and then reality hits and I’m saddled with some new burden that normal me can’t maintain.

@SusanCSmith-ik3jy

2 күн бұрын

@tomaskey6844 I hear you! I am the same. It really sucks. You become afraid of feeling too good. Such a tricky balance! It’s so hard. Other folks don’t seem to understand cuz they don’t have issues like this.

I feel seen. You’re a blessing.

You cannot imagine how incredibly timely this video is for me right now. Thank you dr. Eilers

Yeah this is me and no one in my life understands and it makes me feel worse and/or broken.

I’ve thought about this distinction as brass vs strings in musical instruments A violin is finicky and needs a lot of tuning, but it’s totally worth it

@rockon2503

15 күн бұрын

I can relate to that. Well said!

Starting around 6:00 "...you're not that kind of person." Tears are flowing. Losing my own sense of identity from childhood trauma had me looking for, and seeing, the in-the-moment high functioning abilities of Honda/Toyota type people. Like your car analogy, I kept breaking down and they didn't. So how could I ever be 'normal' like them? As a: "you or nobody" person, until recently incapable of helping myself (due to mental blockages)...miserable and lonely were/are the trigger for my cyclical downward slope roller coaster journey. I take notes on all your videos - there is so much that is noteworthy. Yes, number 3 is the hardest - I have not appreciated myself since the age of seven! (childhood trauma event leading to lifelong cPTSD). Put in harder work than others had to do? (to stay on course, etc.) "Why can't I be like them?" had been my lament for decades. As always, thank you for you wonderful professional and personal insights. I am looking forward to 'fine tuning' my inner car!

I used to own a Lancia Beta Coupé; typical of the Italian sports car that DrScott is referring to. It was red, fast, fun to drive and turned heads. I had six months' of pleasure driving it. Then, one day while I was driving to work, smoke started puthering out of the steering wheel column. The car then spent two and a half years rotting away on my driveway until I sold it to a collector. That analogy fits for me. I can thrive for a short burst, where I enjoy life and maintain a good level of functioning. Then I break down and am out of action for months, or even a couple of years. DrScott is so right; I need to take better care of my self-maintenance to stay or get back on the road.

Thank you for this positive spin on being "high-maintenance". It's also good to know there's someone else out there who truly understands the frustration and the envy we feel toward people who don't have to do as much to see that they keep "running". You're right; self-appreciation is the key.

I think it has a lot to do with age as well. When you're young you're one of those reliable cars in your metaphor. You can treat them recklessly and they still function. As you get older (I'm nearly 66) then you're more high maintenance as things break down easier. Thank you for your podcast Dr Scott. My functioning also depends on the standard my family have seen from me and thus expect. I'm one of those ducks cruising on the water seemingly aimless but paddling like crazy to stay afloat.

I spent 35 years in the dark. Thank you for bringing me the light I needed all this time.

Dr. Scott, you are such a blessing in my life! God has blessed you with such unique insights and life giving counsel! I appreciate your compassion, vulnerability, and authenticity! Thank you and God bless you!

I have my own metaphor. I always imagined myself as a jeep in a world of tractors. A jeep can actually be used to farm. It can pull implements. But it does a bad job at farming and it is really hard on it.

Literally going on rn, just had a great 2 months and now I'm falling into a depressive episode 😢

Thank you for this wonderful analogy. Seeing myself as an Alfa Romeo is so much better (and sexier!) than a defective Camry. I will remember this going forward. ❤

I love how real you are. You're humble and remind us that you, too, are human and experience the same things we do. Thank you for being our guide to a better life.

I'm more like a 90's minivan. I used to go everywhere, I still get a few places now, but I'm pretty worn out and need a lot of work now.

@michellet796

11 күн бұрын

That's so interesting! The minivan may have done a lot of carrying other people and their burdens around. So fitting for some of my past circumstances. Idk if that's why you landed on that metaphor.

I knew it! This is so relevant to me and such a great analogy. I am Italian and now l identify as a 70's Alfa Romeo. This is so important. Every time l am high functioning, l forget that l need to take care. I think l am invincible. Thank you for being so good at what you do ❤

You are on to something! An old psychiatrist once made that very analogy in session that the mind of some patients was like a Chevrolet and we could think of mine as a Jaguar.

I've always experienced this. It's so dehumanizing. I'm 72 and have been in recovery FOR ADHD depression, and anxiety. A little over 2 months ago I was just starting to feel like I was at the point of a major breakthrough. As a result I put my self out there sharing all my gifts with others with fervor. Unfortunately, as it has been in the past, I got burned with harsh criticism which led me down a sudden downward spiral of hurt and vulnerability that led to other embarrassing situations which out of my best intentions cost me a price I just can't afford. I'm surviving but I'm not truly living. I'm at a low floor. Very painful. It's a miracle that I didn't end up back in the hospital from a relapse. I do need a lot of maintenance which I can't be without. Even now, I'm needing than ever and it's very demeaning because my life dynamic is not allowing it without a painful battle. So I have to expend energy fighting battles just to keep myself properly maintained. Right now I'm feeling needy and depleted. I'm just serving. I've lost ground that Is so much needed for me To function well.

thank you so much! i've been in this cycle for literally as long as i can remember, and i'm only 20 years old. you put my lifelong struggle into words, will definitely put these tips to use. 🙏

I am very fragile, my whole life this has been the case. And it is rather getting worse, I' d say. My mother is schizophrenic and I'm diagnosed as bipolar, but very rapid cycling. So after two good days the downfall for at least the next two days is guarranteed. This is my life. However, since I am a former psychologist, I know very well, that it could be much worse. Thank you for the Video, Dr. Eilers, much appreciated.

Listening to you describe this pattern helps me be more compassionate with myself. Just knowing I’m not alone in experiencing this lifts me from my self critical cycles. Now I just allow myself the lull periods and I know it will end eventually. Zooom zooom

Its like you know me! and understand why its so frustrating. and If I was a car, I definitely “spend a lot of time in the shop”🤣 that was a great analogy😆

Car analogies are very relatable. Right now my vehicle has so much stuff wrong, I would like to put it in pile, just to save all the effort and money for less miserable one. Humans don't work like that, still that stuff living up to seems so over burdening, that I want give up.

I just experienced watching a fabulously healthy person making the most of every second and having so much fun, and another that took herself for a walk to the sea for a swim, in a more low key way but still having their best time. I was sat not wanting to do anything, coping with all the activity and apparently my own jealousy of healthy happy folk. I wish I could maintain myself in such a healthy way. I'm crying now, defo. on a low, stepping back time, and seeing vividly everywhere ways I could be practicing self care and not quite getting it together. Thank you Scott, you're great. Great Scott! hahaaa laughing now..a bit all over the place..

Very timely video for me. I totally resonate with everything you said. Im not in a good place right now. The trouble is i dont know what i want or need to maintain myself. Thank you for caring ❤

@danam5272

16 күн бұрын

Oy, this is me. It's been so long since I've felt like there was time to think of myself, that I'm not sure what I need... or for that fact, what I want.

Thank you so much! I hadn't really thought about it quite this way, but it makes sense. Now I will try to be more mindful of those little things that I need to make my days work for me. Much appreciated, Scott! 🙏😊

Ive never challenged societys belief that you'll get to use it or you will grow thicker skin until now. I felt like im wearing out with productivity or pressure to be consistent. Youd think my brain would habit form or have improvement by repeating practice by now. This video is validating that i dont need to be optimised all the time.

Thank you! It helps so much that you have direct experience with this. I appreciate the reminder to take my time and approach the question with curiosity, I am an extra fussy Italian sports car married to the absolutely most reliable sedan -- hard to not compare myself and feel like something is wrong with me. I am getting glimpses of things that help and looking forward to finding more.

I don't do well in this high speed disfunctional society. I was married for 15 years. One day she just up and left with out warning. I was where you are now. Having a good functional existence. Now I'm 50. I feel like I'm 70 or 80.

@PAINVALENTINO

16 күн бұрын

Sucks

@rocketproductions1441

16 күн бұрын

I feel for you. I am passing this down from experience, I challenge you to find a specialized community revolving around a hobby of yours, this world is very fast paced but there are so many good people out there that we pass by every day. You have to be where they are going instead of feeling alone as they pass us by! Get into jiu jitsu, fishing, music ... literally anything! And give it your all and see where it takes you. You may come to find, like myself, that the world slows down tremendously when you find the right place off the beaten path, out in nature, to spend your time

@kathleenphillips6445

16 күн бұрын

Thinking back, it’s hilarious, but so many times going to a therapist, and they say “And you’re the one who….?” How can I expect to get any kind of expertise from therapy when I know myself best.

I cannot express in words how much I can relate to your videos, I have been in depression and more so because I find that no one could ever properly understand me, Seeing your videos feel like I am reading pages of my own life, thanks for everything... 🙂

@DrScottEilers

8 күн бұрын

Thanks so much for saying this ❤️

As a car person in my 20's; suffering in a college, from the bottom of my heart, that I do not fit... Listening to this was very special. I'm almost graduating and just now realized that I suffer because I try to be like those other people that are built like a 93 Camry. I'm an alfa 164! I work differently and require my own care. I have been CONSTANTLY thinking I shouldn't be there because I can't pull 3 all nighters every week. Every day I walk to class just to enjoy 15min alone. EVERY SINGLE group assignment they leave me out until a professor intervenes. I don't blame them, not everyone wants to deal with a neglected 164 jn a trip... But this leaves a question: where's the service manual? What do I have as a special need? I'll get unto this journey!

@heitorbernardes7977

16 күн бұрын

Sometimes I feel like myself as a child knew how to maintain me better than adult me do. Maybe it was because I appreciated me as an individual and did not give a single fuck about others and what they wanted from me. Since I've started to live a normal life, everything went down hill.

@kathleenphillips6445

16 күн бұрын

@@heitorbernardes7977 But you’re not normal!

@heitorbernardes7977

16 күн бұрын

@@kathleenphillips6445 I'm starting to question wether anyone is normal lol, or if people just accept a "recipe" for life because it hurts less. The main issue with me is that I grew up not having to worry about it. My parents never grounded me or expected things from me. I've always been a valedictorian despite that. Now, when being me is an issue... I don't know how to function.

I feel like a yugo someone put a turbo on. I can go pretty fast sometimes, but usually I am limping along just waiting to breakdown.

Yes I think we all go through ups and downs! It’s tough to handle emotions sometimes. Thank you Dr.! You’re my favorite doctor online!!❤

This analogy is supreme and the best I have ever heard❤ with that in mind right now I feel like one of those cars stacked up in the junkyard going rusty with no engine and a couple of doors missing😢

I really like the car analogy because it made me actually kind of appreciate myself a little bit more. I'm not a boring Toyota Camry LOL

Oh me too. I was worried you were going to have some useless for me advice in this video. But you nailed it and i feel so seen, and heard and understood.

Thanks for this talk. Definitely resonated. Happy belated Fathers Day 🏎️

Thanks. I know you don't have all the answers, but the perspective encourages me. Not the first time I've heard that analogy! My husband calls me an F1 racecar! 😂 It does help to hear it.

"Special appreciation for the mundane...because it not promised" REALLY HIT ME! It's how I feel frequently being on SSDI and remembering when I could work full time, (even tried 2 times to work part times through Ticket To Work...only to crash months later). I'm SLOOOOOWLY becoming ok with how I'm built to function in this world and learning adaptive things...like I found I can't work shift work...but can do more freelance work. My example: I used to work in social work in mental health then later worked in nursing facilities in activities department, now I do drum wellness programs and do this at different senior apartments and nursing facilities making my own schedule. The work to put together the program I do when I'm the most productive (sometimes midday sometimes afternoon or early evening), in that part of the day without being a set timeframe.😊

Resentment-you got it so right, sometimes I feel it towards myself. It sucks. It's like I'm behind on many things people already know or are good at. Some days I want to be that low maintenance easy-going, bubbly social butterfly who is seemingly good at everything they do. I know that such people also deal with some stuff, but i can't get rid of such feeling. It got worse this month as I'm dealing with some issues.

This is an amzingly uplifting video message. I have long-term (since childhood) mental health issues. In 2007 I gave my life to Christ. Now I feel that I shouldn't do the things that really help my mental health because they are biblically classed as "selfish ambition". Everything I do is supposed to glorify Christ. My newest venture, is a passion I've had for years, and is so good for me and my health but I cannot see how it glorifies God. In fact some of it (certain songs) are anti what the bible tells us is the right way to live and so doesn't glorify God. I am lost. I don't know what to do and my mental health is suffering even more (it's already bad). To do the things I want (and feel a strong need to do) feels too self centred and I cannot see my way through this. I don't know what to do. I want to fulfil my long-term goal so desperately (it's been a long time coming too) but it feels like it might not be what God wants. Can anyone offer me any hope, or advice please?

Thank you so much for divulging your own ‘challenges’, so that we may know you speak from experience, and not merely textbook regurgitation. You are helping so many people, and we love you for it!!

I asked my boss for some patience with my attitude as I was dealing with the largest amount of depression I ever had. He fired me two days later. It's been about 3 years since and I haven't recovered. Completely ruined me. Sometimes I wonder if you acknowledge your weakness has you perceived as weak.

Personally I did great and then fell apart sometimes because I had horrible relatives in my life (my sister and mother in law) who pretended to love me while abusing me. So anytime I'd start doing well in life, they'd come after me and sabotage me. Now I've cut them out of my life and I've started to not lose momentum. I'm still learning that I'm not the total loser they've been telling me I was for decades but if you can't get a hold on your mental issues and suceed in life please take a look at your friends and family.

So I don’t need to buy an Alfa because I already am one.

This is about understanding, accepting, and honoring "how I work." And not beating myself up and trying to fit into what I think of as "normal." Guided meditation has really helped me with this.

Love the car analogy. I have been so frustrated my entire life trying to figure out why I can't do what other people do and be healthy. I'm in the shop a lot!

I drive a Camry but am like a high maintenance sports car. Thanks Dr. Scott. Very helpful.

@klpuhelin2816

16 күн бұрын

Haha, that's good, because it would be a catastrophe otherwise. In our family we have reliable cars which are also a little bit fun, but the people are different. Well we also take quite good care about our cars, but it would be awful if the cars were "working with the wind" as we are... 😅

@dwsel

16 күн бұрын

Speaking from my observations a lot of high maintenance people like to drive low maintenance cars and wear comfy clothes.

My life is more like the kiddie roller coaster with small hills and small dips. There are definite ups and downs; also, two steps forward with two steps back. Right now, I'm in a dip state.

This is soooo familiar. Many times the problem is that I make plans based on those times when I perform well and when there's no disturbances. So I set those very high expectations for myself. And then comes the time when I can't get anything done because of me or because of others... 😬 Then everything falls apart because my schedule falls apart. Then I have to construct everything again. I've been trying to find a balance, but it's so difficult. 😅 But I'm getting better at it. And when it's the most difficult, I'm prioritising to take care of my own maintenance nowadays.

Since watching your your content I have learned so much, I have never had someone with the same insight as you, I am so grateful 🙏 😊

I was just wondering, WTF is wrong with me?! Scott, thank you so much for this. High ceiling low floor describes it exactly.

Thank You. I have never had anyone explain these things to me at this level.

tuned in just as it was starting “by chance,” lol. so relate to this❤thank you 😊

This is a good reminder, everyone's different and have different needs

Love your insights man

Sometimes you have to press past all these 'things' and live fully. Cars = fabric for me. I need fabric and color and pattern. And nature, too. Flowers. I am definitely not low maintenance. LOL Neither is the husband. Try two HSPs and ADD and highly intelligent people in a marriage. Oh boy!!!

Thank you 😊 🙏

I needed that video.. Thank you so much for addressing this so clearly

Thanks for this video. This explains me perfectly. I'm glad I'm not the only one

So so helpful, thank you so much

The car comparison works well in my brain.

So glad this video came on when it did! Thank you for the connection! Connection is key for me.

Yes,thank you so much💜 I fully embrace my unique weirdness and lifestyle. It's not an easy life,but I somehow manage. Grateful for music and cats.

Just shared this because everyone needs to hear this because we feel so silly having these downs ,and yes i sometimes have a good day ,i feel yeah some people have this every day or most days im so jealous i wish it was me but it not ,so ive got to belive i will find what works for me ,and i found these vids your words have help me so much and you know how its works because youve been thought it so thank you

Powerful video, Dr. Scott. Thank you! ❤

Thank you Dr. Scott. This is precious

Thank you very much for this video, Dr Eilers

That's beautiful and very helpful. Thank you!

I needed to hear this today. Thanks Doc.

Great video! It explains me so well too. Thank you!!

I cannot explain how much I needed to hear this message today. Thank you so much for making this video.

Drive a Tesla. It’s extraordinary experience. I feel one with my car. Stealth quiet effective and fast. I think gratitude taking the time to acknowledge successes. Be curious about the future instead of fear. Makes doing the mundane which can be torture tolerable. Thank you for your honesty.

I def have this pattern and that describes me 100%

Great metaphors💗

Absolutely brilliant video thank you. Really explained well.

This is so me. I'm just going to tell everyone from now on that I'm a 1973 (my birth year) Italian sports car.

Thank you for this video. It felt amazing to be able to hear from another person who has experienced similar struggles. This was very insightful and is really helping me get things in perspective. You are appreciated 🙏🏾