I was abused in an English Orphanage in Hull England. When I spoke up they crushed me to suicidal gloom and acute misery. I still see my absusers on fb attending reunions so I cant go. I do live in New Zealand now anyway. Im now trauma counsellor but regardless now pushing 50 the injustice still hurts. Most of us in there had parents we were abandoned. I could see my mums chimney smoking from the my Orphanage bedroom window on one side of the street and my dad falling out of Taxis drunk he lived on the other side of the street seperated from her. I saw them both one day from the window and not one of them waved I was about 7yrs old. I left at 16yrs old. Then I found all those years there were relatives around the city Id past in the street. Some families still dont want you regardless.

@ultraenergy313

3 жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry for that. I wish i could help you and whoever those who needs. Sorry for a very late answer.

As an international adoptee, I agree 100% with her. At 8 years old, I was kept four months in an abusive orphanage ( I had given them my address and my parents and siblings names but they never contacted my family) and then transferred to a second orphanage where I was processed for adoption with a falsified identity and falsified family story. I was reunited with my family 27 years after being separated by the orphan and adoption industry.

@barel1384

6 жыл бұрын

What was your adoptive family like

Orphanages run as for-profit businesses without regulation and oversight are certainly a problem, but not all orphanages are like that. The problem isn't the institutional system as a whole. It's the lack of regulation, standardization, and intentional care techniques. Children's homes can and do often provide a much better quality of life than the incredibly broken foster system. Some children's homes even have developmental advantages over single family homes. The orphan care system doesn't need to be de-institutionalized. It needs to be revolutionized. With curriculums and business models that more closely resemble a high-end schools, children could receive the care and support that they need and deserve. For this to happen, there must be people who believe it can. There needs to be support, and there needs to be money. It may seem unlikely to happen, but it is possible.

As an international adoptee, this speaks very deeply to me, and I strongly agree with her message.

@charistouchmoments2475

6 жыл бұрын

it is always not the case though. there is always two sides of the same coin. i believe instead of condemning the whole ideology of orphanage homes, there should be rather efficient rules to govern a smooth running of these homes.

@gacha-kaithegaygachist161

3 жыл бұрын

I may become an orphan and I would prefer it over the life I'm living now

I appreciate this talk so much, and there is much truth in what is shared. I say this as one who has also worked with such institutions for nearly a decade. You are right, there are no orphanages in the US, Australia, and the UK, instead there is a foster care system. I highly respect that you are seeking to start foster care systems in the majority world / developing nations. Indeed, this is the ideal. I do however wish to share that sometimes the best of these institutions can be better than the alternative that some children face, life on the street, life being trafficked for sex or labor, and so on. I know of many of these institutions that have been closed down (on the recommendation of well meaning people from places such as Australia) so that the children can "return to their families". However, the same family that sent the child to the orphanage then sends the child out onto the streets. In some cases, children leave the institution for a much harsher reality in their "loving home", abuse and neglect far greater than the institution that they were forced out of upon it's closure. I caution people who watch this and conclude, "all orphanages and similar institutions are bad and must therefore be closed". I recommend concluding that such institutions are not the ideal and that alternatives are more desirable, but I caution against pulling funding and support and closing all orphanages without doing thorough investigative work as to what the child's realistic alternatives are. While Cambodia may have some form of foster care system now in place, many nations do not have such systems and we can not abandon children to a world that we think will care for them but very well may not. The realities of rural Zimbabwe , suburban Indonesia, and post war Liberia are far removed from the luxuries of "Western" Social Security Systems. Centrelink, the Departments of Human Services, and the likes, either do not exist or simply can not cope with the needs of all people in many of these places. Handle these children with care, they need it, and we owe it to them to do our research on the alternatives available to them before removing them from an institution that may be, although not ideal, a far greater alternative to life "back home".

@peterdjerome8675

7 жыл бұрын

Tara I really want to wish you, your very caring and supportive family and all your your inspired team the very best with the Cambodian projects - and everything that you do. Peace and happiness to you and family!

@barel1384

6 жыл бұрын

Yes. Also, institutions that follow a family-like model can be better than foster care if they are monitored and staffed by professionals. Foster care often means moving from family to family, never quite fitting in, and adjusting to new routines and relationships before being whisked away again. An institution that follows a family model can provide consistency and ensure that those raising the children know how to address trauma and special needs.

@akihikayepthomi484

5 жыл бұрын

I totally agree with you brother.

@whiteeyedshadow8423

4 жыл бұрын

@@barel1384 only if the caretakers are constant

@IwanRahabok

4 жыл бұрын

Well said. Agree that we need to see case by case. A broadstroke conclusion like is never right. A lot of things are "it depends".

Wow. I totally agree to this. I am from Nigeria, had Experiences with some Orphanages and truly some of these homes are not necessary. A child thrives on Family. Let's work towards a Family based model.

She is a noble person with a beautiful soul. kids who often run away from their families get lost and can't make their way back. The solution is to connect them back with their families and then ensure support to the family. God bless you for what you are doing! Please let me know if I can do something like this in India. Would be happy to volunteer.

Love it!! She gets my vote on this topic....so good.

@harrygardiner5401

8 жыл бұрын

same

She's right , but problem of orphanage is corruption and abuse to kids . But still orphanage is necessary for those who abandoned , provided that it's strictly monitored by govt. And the women's who look after these childrens should be compassionate .

So then what is the solution? A foster care system sounds wonderful in a perfect world where people genuinely love the children that are not their own and want the best for them. But sadly that is not the case. Even in developed countries like the states, Canada, etc children in foster care have a significantly higher risk of physical and mental problems. The foster care system doesn't provide stability for the many children that are tossed around from home to home in such a short period of time.

@whiteeyedshadow8423

4 жыл бұрын

thats true in some cases

@2davivadiva

4 жыл бұрын

Mikhail its true in many cases

@ashleytuttle5471

3 жыл бұрын

you miss it complety real families just need help to care for their own kids!

@LeilaGhauri

3 жыл бұрын

@@ashleytuttle5471 sometimes extended families are not interested in taking in other family members

@Emma-dh7by

2 жыл бұрын

The idea is not that foster care is perfect or even preferable, but rather that it is a better solution than institutionalising children in orphanages. Rather than funnelling money toward orphanages, money should be spent on creating a robust, accountable foster care situation and support impoverished families in getting the support they need in order to raise their children

Absolutely amazing. Thank you for raising awareness.

The families in Trenton , New Jersey need help. Foster care in the USA is an Industry. The families in Trenton , New Jersey are being oppressed by the department of children placement and permanency. ( DCPP)

Keep sharing your love light and life. Blessings

powerful mind opening message thank you very much my dream has always been to open an orphanage one day but i didn't know better

Your message is life changing. Thank you for your courage & boldness to speak the truth!

Now this might even stop people from helping the poor and needy 👏not all orphanages are like the one you visited .sad to see where the world is heading to

Well done, you have learned amazing lessons and have adapted your loving nature really well! Fusing wisdom and kindess, you are a great example to the world :)

Simply inspirational. Thank you.

Sadly, this is half true. Half because not all orphanages are like this. Most of them seem to be though. The kids need a more stable enviroment. Orphanages can help if they had people willing to maybe stay and live at the orphanges and care for the kids as parents. Also, foster care doesn't work either, if the families kept them, then maybe they could work. The kids in foster home often get mistreated (mentally, physically, or emotionally) as well. They also get bounced around from home to home. Also, did she say the U.S doesn't have orphanages? I'm not sure if I heard that right, considering that quite a while back there was an ad about an orphanage. So, the saddest fact is, that there probably is no true solution because it all depends on who the kids end up with. I personally believe that if orphanges were to work more like homes with lots of siblings, and care takers willing to actually love and care for them, then it could work. I must repeat though, even with my idea, it depends on how the people operating these things are like.

@matildewosnjuk7508

3 жыл бұрын

Since 1960 U.S. orphanages have gone extinct entirely. In their place are some modern boarding schools, residential treatment centers and group homes, though foster care remains the most common form of support for children who are waiting for adoption or reunification with their families.

Excellent absolutely extraordinary. I Love it soo much. Thank you for stepping up for the truth. ❤❤

It is a really tough life being an international adoptee. Especially being of a nearly erased minority culture.

Yes! Much agreed... Avocating for family...

That you for sharing! This is a very important lesson, and I shared it on my Boxing Mermaid page.

Thank you 🙏 😊

I have an orphanage in Mexico and I can say the only option for most of my children was the street. Most of my children were abandoned by drug addicted parents or abused by family members. We educate our children well. Your ideas work in few cases that I see. Why would you suggest that orphanages should not receive donations......unless it mostly benefits your organization. Sorry I don’t agree. Yes, many kids will have issues but we do protect the children from many predators on the streets and from hunger and disease. We have a family style home. Not all orphanages should be spoken against or placed in the same category.

@azulceleste7202

4 жыл бұрын

I don't think she's saying that orphanages should altogether just disappear or that shouldn't exist. It's more that we should always try to first help the family in question so the child can have a stable family he/she needs and deserves. And because of how idealised are orphanages by (mostly) first world inhabitants like me, we end up prioritizing their existence without realising that they should be the last resource, as it's very difficult for an orphanage to meed the needs of children. Of course there are exceptions, of couse it's possible to run an orphanage where the children are really taken care of, but it should not be the first objective. Besides, we should also contemplate how the existence of orphanages eximes the economic power of the nations from, for example, raising the salaries of their workers. With that I mean that if the families can easily leave their children in orphanages runed mostly by volunteers, the government has no longer to care for giving a minimum salary which would enable families to take care of their children. With all of this I'm not saying that you're not doing a good job or that your intentions aren't good, but that the socioeconomic reality tells us that orphanages are not the first solution we should go to when dealing with children coming from conflicting families.

@jardemooreb4100

3 жыл бұрын

👍 I was thinking about doing a Orphanage like yours... Family style and protecting the kids from the streets...

@youngsteve3645

3 жыл бұрын

I know what you are saying is true. The thing is people are making a difference and kids are returning to families or to new families. We all need a place to belong. Check out Casa Viva in Costa Rica who works with kids and families removed by he government. There are also organizations like World Without Orphans and Christian Alliance for Orphans that connect you with others. We all need people to belong to.

@albihysenaj5997

Жыл бұрын

That’s why Mexico is a very dangerous country with violence, gangs, drugs, guns, crime, the cartel and the mafia and prostitution with alcoholism juvenile delinquent highest prison rate because of the orphanage being full, if we have less kids in orphanages in Mexico that country would have less people in jail.

@nielspemberton59

4 ай бұрын

A well-planned transition scheme to adulthood and a scouting program for boys and girls would help. There must be support from the community and local government. finally, an alumni association would be a great idea. Members could mentor residents.

I Love what you say but I am shocked about the truth in the second part. Because I’ve been thinking about creating something like this, but but but! Now I’m thinking, shouldn’t be real parenthood supported instead of this ? Shouldn’t be the education at home, and the support with the children how to take care of them, and how to take care of themselves and not make more babies when you cannot take care of them, or feed them properly all this education given to the adults, and from the state in a way that they act self sufficiently and responsibly for their OWN society. I’m not just be after money. But the knowledge! you are opening up a major door for the future. God bless you dear

Amazing

God bless you

But what if u provide everything that a normal family provide their kids. I mean..... I've seen families who have kids and treat them wayyyy more worse than a poor standard orphanage. So isn't it better to bring them in a orphanage that build in a way and is organized in a way that normal families usually do for their children. Bcoz at the end of the every child of this generation depends and trust strangers and school/college friends more than their own siblings and parents. So technically everything needs to be organized in a smart way. And i disagree of the shifting of staff after every 8 to 9 hours. All the staff should be with the kids and have their living there with them.....make a separate rest room for staff members to rest at night. But not the shifting. And i prefer to send kids to proper school education system instead of bringing teachers to orphanage. That will only ruin the mind set of a child too

Well done

wow nice work am a kenyan young guy and i can love to wark with you on this wark of GOD

Bravo! Walk quietly but carry a big stick.🙏🙏

Great

I agree with her about 90%. But if one took what she says as always, universally true, it would suggest that anyone who goes to a boarding school (British "public school") will be warped by the experience. That's simply not so.

@newgabe09

Жыл бұрын

Some people are. But at least the vast majority boarding school kids still know and have regular contact with their families who are there for them in their life after school. That is a big difference for kids in institutions or badly run foster systems when they become 'too old' and are kicked out. If they ever did have a family, they're cut off from it.

This is all true, there is a director of Omega orphanage who has no orphanage but he receives donations from donars

when i was 20 year old i have plan to do this for my country but stil now am not starting strongly but i need help how can i support my country orphange childeren i have pain am crying lots who is helping me sharing me exprense and showing me the way how to do?

@youngsteve3645

3 жыл бұрын

I am not sure where you live but check out World Without Orphans or Christian Alliance for Orphans. They can help you make connections.

👏👏👏👏👏

My dream in life is to become a super dad.

Notice the sign she repeatedly makes with her hands

@TheDudeGonzalez

4 жыл бұрын

What about it?

Every orphanage is not Same

@donnai5718

Жыл бұрын

The Believers, orphanages are still institutional living 😔

I guess I'm wondering what we should so with these children and how we can get thee children into a safe environment sooner?

your right 👉

Best at 1.25x

Hello, I am social researcher at ministry of social affairs and have idea for orphans all over the world, I would like to contact with the lady who talk

Oliver Twist. The value of literature.

This is sad :(

She stood in the same spot the whole time

@Peter-nu6ix

4 жыл бұрын

Your observation is very relevant. To stay in the one spot, while presenting information, keeps the focus on the message. This reduces the distraction created by the speaker, if they move about while speaking. Unless required, in order to enhance the presentation, by a demonstration, or for the use of graphics. Indeed, it is apparent, that one of the guidelines of the TEDx presentations is for the speaker to limit movement, at least, to the carpeted area. I believe this speaker's presentation was so effective because she drew focus to the message rather than any unnecessary movement on her part.

That’s why the prisons are filled because of orphanages

This woman is living in lala land!

Horrible close minded view.There are millions of children in need that are orphaned AND come from poor families, TOO poor to raise a child.

@youngsteve3645

3 жыл бұрын

Yes this is a huge problem and will never fully be solved. If we do not work to bring change however the west will continue to do harm while helping. Read some of Brian Fikert's books especially From Dependance to Dignity. Also change is happening and these poor families want to raise their children (generally speaking) Check our resources at ACCI relief, World without orphans, Christian Alliance for Orphans, Home for Good and so on!

In America its called Foster Care.

Tara Winkler 5 minutes of Fame Now she works .Soliciting funds ,, she is making a Monza .

Goddess looks as well as deeds

This is just lies. We can all make up stories for money.