Work hard and earn all the money you can with the help of Allah and don’t dim your light because you want to get married and not intimidate in the future . If you are meant to get married you will . I am so grateful to God for the money he has allowed me to earn because my health is not the best and through the rizq he has given me , I am able to afford my own healthcare . Never dim your light or slow down for the wrong reasons because Allahs rizq will find you regardless

@89Salma89

11 ай бұрын

Same! I have been dealing with health issues for the past 4 years, which have prevented me from being able to pursue marriage, but alhmadulillah for the financial sustenance that God provided me. I would have been quite miserable if I had to depend on my parents during that time.

@n0426

11 ай бұрын

Yeah most men in these last days aren’t real men and will trigger you to live life from your masculine while they are living in their feminine. Multiple future and present spouses, exs whom they are still stuck on. They are toxic liars,cheaters players with no integrity or fear of god. Can’t love someone like that so i am good with them hating me. I would rather love myself and live my life than put myself in hell with these demons. They will not only destroy you believe me they will also destroy and neglect their children and now you wish you really had the money. Real love is spiritual it’s not lustful. if someone has a problem with your material worldly gains they are probably covert envious narcissists. So it’s a lose-win situation Better be safe than sorry.

Like you said, it's beneficial for a woman who is widowed or divorced and is suddenly plunged into single motherhood It's a catch 22 situation. If women has a good career, it's harder for her to find a man. And if she doesn't have a career, she suffers a lot if she experiences crises in her marriage.

@NafisasPearlz

11 ай бұрын

Yes absolutely. Hence why in the end we should take our desires to Allah as only He can do whatever is best for us in our different situations.

we can't show our femininity in front of males who are not in their masculine energy. I tried to dumb down but as they were not religiously and intellectually at the same place, I can't feel safe and I am in my masculine energy. But I am feminine in front of my father and brother. Men, who I tried to talk to for marriage could not bring my feminine energy out. I cook, clean, and even foot massage my brothers but men outside my home, can't see it because they are not masculine enough.

@89Salma89

11 ай бұрын

you foot massage your brothers?! 😮 I don't mean to be disrespectful at all, just out of curiosity, but is there a notion in your family that a woman is supposed to serve the man even if it is their brother?

@mariamuntahin392

11 ай бұрын

@@89Salma89 I do it out of love. When I massage my own; I massage my brother's feet sometimes as well. Though I am quite sure he will not do the same for me. The notion is there in my family. I will not do it if someone does not earn it. But if you ask about my mother and aunts, they had to do it anyways.

@n0426

11 ай бұрын

It should not be a matter of if you can. Even if you could you are not obliged to they aren’t worthy to have that special access to you so i automatically shutdown. I also think it’s haram to give wifey treatment to someone who isn’t your husband. It isn’t all about s*x. Men nowadays can get their sexual gratification very easily but they can’t get their emotional gratification that easily. No real relationship no real empathy from me. I have my protective mask on just like they have their clown mask on. I don’t own them sh*t and i am not guilty of cutting these parasites off.

I ask Allah to give me a man who is madly in love with me who I am also madly in love with and doesn't care about how much I make, how my body looks, etc. Ameen.

@NafisasPearlz

11 ай бұрын

Ameen

@cookiemonsterrr5116

11 ай бұрын

Ameen

@datingandlifeadvicechannel7534

11 ай бұрын

Me too amen

@muritalaakande69

11 ай бұрын

Ameen, may Allah give me such as a wife also

@immes682

11 ай бұрын

lol 😆

Women keep educating yourself and believing in Allah. Small or large pool when it’s your turn nothing can stop it. Allah alone decided. Even if you are under a rock or dark cave Allah will send your spouse.

Another great one keep up the good work sis Nafisa ❤❤

SubhanaAllah!!!! Sis beautiful topic so enjoy how you explain and break everything down and beautiful beautiful reminder especially when you said you know your role in the house and it’s so true!!!! This was very beneficial Sis Ma shaa Allah TabarakAllah 🤲🏾🤲🏾❤️🌹

Sis Nafisa Jazakillahu khayran for shedding light on the topic.

Barakallah Feeki for explaining this so well.

Emotional intelligence just nailed it about why most women dont find a good right partner

Alhamdulillah,great topic sister Nafisa may increase u in knowledge

I wanted to say to you that not onley you are making very benefite video’s but your energie is so real thank you nafisa fore being a great sool you realy are ❤️

I felt the same way after my bachelors degree I said let me wait and get married first just because I was scared men wouldn’t want to marry a highly educated woman. It’s been 6yrs waiting still no man 😂 now I’m struggling to continue pursuing my education with ya walk of shame. Sad that we hold ourselves and try to shrink just so

I might be bias towards women because I am one,but I don't like how women always have to be the one to compromise ,but I never see people telling men to overlook women's looks and focus on her character, because there aren't enough good women in the world, and as much as we would like to think that men don't care about a woman's career,they actually do, I rearly see doctors marrying certified nursing assistants, or women who are going to trade school marrying engeniers,or women who are housekeepers marrying IT consultant,that's not the reality, yet men are not told to marry women bellow their career level when they demand that they want an educated woman who is on their level or an educated woman, period.

@fatimaaddy6535

11 ай бұрын

In my part of the world, all that is quite common🤷🏽‍♀️

@purplelove3666

11 ай бұрын

@@fatimaaddy6535 what part of the world do you live in?, I live in the West

@fatimaaddy6535

11 ай бұрын

@@purplelove3666 Ghana

@fluorescentbubbles6498

8 ай бұрын

@@purplelove3666 in the west it is very normalised to marry someone who is up to the same “standard”. However, I’ve noticed girls tend to marry men who are not at that “standard” aka compromising the looks etc but the man always gets a beautiful educated girl with a good career? like… keep me out of that system!

Assalamualaikum sister :) Thank you for sharing BTW your voice is echoing. I'm not sure if it's just my earphone though. I'm watching this midnight so...

i don't think its about earning, men are suffering from peter pan syndrome and some would rather spend thier money on cars and entertainment than choosing to settle down, marry and build a family

@purplelove3666

11 ай бұрын

Seems like Their fathers and mothers are not doing so great with raising them

@datingandlifeadvicechannel7534

11 ай бұрын

Very true and social media ruined relarionshipsn

@datingandlifeadvicechannel7534

11 ай бұрын

@@purplelove3666exactly

@TranquilWanderer

11 ай бұрын

But even guys who live alone can still have Peter Pan syndrome

@SheCanSmile

11 ай бұрын

@@purplelove3666 I agree. Across the spectrum, women ARE doing the work on themselves, unlike their male counterparts. This is also why I struggle to understand why all this motivational/innerwork/feminine etc etc content is directed at women, when it is men in society who need the help the most.

Jazakillah khairan ❤

he's not a gold digger he's a scrub, as tlc said.

I think it should be a balance between men and women, when it comes to smartness, if as a man you need another person to make you feel like you are a champion, then thats on you, people should marry people who have an interest that they both share and are willing to learn from one another instead of upstaging one another

Sister Nafisa; you are absolutely right. As a content creator it’s very challenging to edit film etc. Mashallah for your content ♥️

👍 You most Welcome Madam...very enlightening 🙏🤗

18:28 this is exactly the words I needed to hear i think .. I’m myself really overthinking this struggle and sometimes got really sad and stressed out by this reality (I even sometimes regretted putting so much efforts in having a master and now a high payed corporate job) but who am i to be that negative when it is all in the hands of Allah at the end of the day? Thank you a lot Nafisa 🥺

Much love and respect nafisa

@NafisasPearlz

11 ай бұрын

Thank you

@YoungRiaz

11 ай бұрын

@@NafisasPearlz you're welcome it's always appreciated

Nafisa i find this Video informative

Its true, im single mom more than 12year..im hoping to fine right one i pray success merriage..all lady in the universe..money is not enough to love& love without money also not happy.. Amen

Spot on as always! I send much love to you Nafisa ❤️

@NafisasPearlz

11 ай бұрын

Thank you! 🤗

i got proposals and as well as arranged marriage proposals, they all talked about the boy having a good income and would make a good fit, not even about wether he matched me persona/caracterwise or other interests, so i refused to marry. i didnt feel atracted to these guys neither cuz they were not the type i would fall for anyway. my parents and family mad i refused. after that im way to long single, no proposals anymore at all, im worried way to long that i wont find someone genuine whom i love inside out as he does love me inside out as much as well. but i wont settle for less cuz i know for so many people true love does exist.

A " high character" is an issue everywhere now not in the west only.

More wisdom and knowledge

This is related to what am experiencing presently. As an ND holder, a well paid security operative in his late 30's who found it very difficult as a result of a very low qualification and the fact that ladies hardly believe that I earned as huge as what am earning because of the kind of work am doing is one of the work we look down on in this clime. I pray that Almighty Allah provide a good partner for all.

nafisA dear what will u suggest to the girls who r in mid 30s where marriage pool is already small and GiRl is working from decades bcoz she have no father figure who can support her financially. She is ambitious (her life situations made her in this way ) and still want to become home maker. She Will only left full time work (and switch to part time) for a person who will take her responsibility as a man.

It’s very simple it makes them feel insecure I’m a business women and men think I’m rich and use me sometimes.

@noormuzamil9850

8 ай бұрын

Because women are hypergamus by nature by the way what's your business.

I see myself as a co leader because I am austistic i prefer assistantance i would be main provider with assistance from my future wife

So true my Darling

Great 👍🏾

Can you try to make a video about emotional intelligence/maturity

جزاك اللهُ خيرًا dear Nafisa !!! For your patreon, can married woman and mothers also benefit? I’m a married woman Alhamdulillah and blessed with two beautiful daughters! And I’d love to also benefit from your patreon content!

@NafisasPearlz

11 ай бұрын

Waiyakum my dear sister. Yes absolutely. I try to make it beneficial for all women who want to build their femininity so whatever your background you are welcome.

@MadinaAhmed90

11 ай бұрын

@@NafisasPearlz جزاك اللهُ خيرًا my dear beloved sister

Assalamualaikum sister

Just a reflexion...why career/bussines/working women are ao called "successful" women?? I peesonaly consider this underestimate to all other women who are not studied a career, runs a business or working women and literally calling them unsuccessful??? I think this just re enforce a stereotype of now a days women where they must be one of mentioned cases to be seen as successful. From other side, being successful in our deen has nothing to do with a career, business or work.

@jamilamarr9771

10 ай бұрын

In Sis Nafisa's defense... although the title says "successful women," she actually stated "financially successful or high earning" because that's the category of women this particular video is addressing. And although being successful in Deen is the best success, when you're teaching people, a good teacher tends to meet them where they are, then educate. Many career focused women consider themselves successful in the west, so speak to them in their language and then instruct them in how that language, or mindset, could be detrimental to a marriage. Which is what she did. Explained how different mindsets, and characteristics that make a woman successful in the business world can actually destroy a marriage. Also, women who find being domestic engineers their form of being successful have a competed different mindset than the women she's addressing in this particular video. And yes, I called them domestic engineers, because, in my opinion, house wife just doesn't seem to explain enough of what women that take a more traditional role do in their homes with/for their families.

Assalamu alykum sister 💙

@NafisasPearlz

11 ай бұрын

Walaikumsalam

Asslamu alaikum wa rahmatu allahi wa barakatuh sister Nafisa, thank you so much for your content. I love it since i stumbled upon it. May allah swt. Reward you highly. At the same time I ask whoever reads this comment to make Dua for me to find a righteous husband who fears allah above everything, who has a good character and that will treat me well with the utmost respect, and May Allah swt. Grant us a righteous offspring. Baraka allahu feekum

Love your videos but this one the voice is echoing a little

@NafisasPearlz

11 ай бұрын

Yes I noticed that. I will improve on that for future videos.

@SandraStachowiczLtd

11 ай бұрын

​@@NafisasPearlzI feel that's because the studio is empty and your voice bounces against the walls Placing a few objects around can help with that I had the same problem when my flat was empty

I am seeing some panels of men interviewed say they don’t want the wife to work. They want to control the finances and the wife. My husband said he divorced his second wife because she was with him out of religious duty and culture. However, since I’m not Muslim he knows I am there because I want to be . The control is not important to him because he controls his companies & employees.

Simple, its also because of jealousy. A high-paid woman, is what makes said-males jealous. Because they know *she,* at this point, has pretty much most-to-all of the power that *they* would usually have, now, in *her* hands (money is power in this day and age), and they know that she could exit them anytime, with said cash, or kick them out from a house, that she can easily own, in an instant, and that she doesn’t need to remain childishly dependent on them, or be submissive towards them, having herself be degraded in the process, all because of them, and for them, if she ever did so, or was in such a position in the first place, all to fulfil their fantasies of their high-ego, their “over-the-top” mindset, their “king”-self imaginations, their “alpha”-gaze, and their “strong” character in general. Such males also know, that they can mostly never have a ‘lower-than-him’, obedient-dependent-submissive woman in such a circumstance, and that *they* would infact, be the dependent, etc., one, something they wanted _their_ future *wife/crush* to behave as such, that *they* would now have to behave like, in order to get even _some_ of the fair-share from such a lady. And if she demands they do the house-work/indoor-chores, that then, they would technically *have* to, so she gives them said fair-share.

Salam sis ❤

@NafisasPearlz

11 ай бұрын

Walaikumsalam

Subhanallah

If they earn less I think it plants a seed of doubt that they will fall into the ease of relying on the wife's income. That they have confidence and are well versed in their Islamic responsibilities as a husband. Difficult to see/deduce this confidence and knowledge from a guy especially if he has signed you off as not interested in a labourer guy.

Nafisa sis so what is solution? Sould a muslimah not be ambitious or successful becoz they have to settle/get married in life?

@purplelove3666

11 ай бұрын

No,I still think you should be ambitious if that's what you want, listen, I am not a high earning person and yet I find it difficult to find someone, and I honestly use to think that ,one of the reasons why is probably because I am not a high earner, as much as some men want to say that your career doesn't matter,I think most men do care, even if she is going to be a stay at home wife.

@SandraStachowiczLtd

11 ай бұрын

​@@purplelove3666high earners don't care Only men on low/average income do

Assalamu alaikum Nafeesa sister. I am a freelance pro-KZread editor, you mentioned that you require an editor for your KZread videos. Kindly respond to the email I sent you yesterday. Thank you!

This video has good points but I think it talks mainly from the female perspective and not enough from a high earning man's perspective. Most of the men among my relatives, family, friends, and myself are educated high earners in America's standards so I can offer some perspective. Addressing each point in your video, 1) only about 10% of men make six figures or more in all of America (look it up on the US census website). Hypergamy is fine and men like me know it's in the female nature across all animals but women in the West are very unrealistic with their standards when it comes to "financial security." Limiting your options because you want someone with a similar income as you makes yourself responsible for struggling to get/stay married. I have relationship experience and I've used the Muslim apps but one thing me and my friends/relatives noticed is that the majority of women out there in the West in general want a luxury lifestyle out of marriage. For example, to travel internationally in their marriage is a high priority as well as eventually living in a house. Traveling internationally and living in a house is a luxury lifestyle that most people in the world do not experience. So in essence, most women are seeking a life of luxury in marriage (just an example) and are therefore unrealistic with their standards/don't have good intentions. Muslim men like me get annoyed when muslim women bring up Khadija (RA) as an example for women to be business minded and wealthy but never follow her example of marrying a man with character regardless of how poor he was or looking at the nobility of his job title/status. White-collared women looking down on blue-collared men is arrogance at its finest and does not serve as a good role model for the kids when they grow up. Men, especially high-earning men, have standards too, and our standards are high because of how we saw our mothers stick with our fathers. For example, my mom came from a wealthier family in Syria's standards and married my dad who was poor. When they came to America, he struggled to get licensed in his profession and my parents lived very poor for more than a year but my mom didn't leave/divorce him. She stuck through and didn't wait to marry him only when he became successful/ a finished product. Men like me would view a woman in much higher regard if she was there during our struggles before becoming successful, not waiting at the finish line. We want a team player. Most high-earning individuals regardless of gender come from high income households. Most high earning women come from more privileged backgrounds and refuse to lower their standard of living and feel like they are "settling" for a man if he doesn't maintain/increase her lifestyle. How is that good for a healthy marriage? A lot become successful when they are much older because that is just the nature of success but men prefer to marry younger women. We have way more success with women that are younger compared to women our age or older because they don't see us as an equal and are much more energetic and pleasant to be around with an older man. Flexibility, being a team-player, and adaptability is what we look for in women, and high-earning women tend to serve their particular lifestyles and can be stubborn so why should a man who worked his tail off his whole life deal with that? Most women don't spend their money on their husbands, how many women that aren't celebrities buy their husbands a car? Men won't care about her money if she only keeps it to herself and isn't using it to do something good with good intentions like supporting her parents. We don't have a problem with her working, but it's all about intention. I don't agree that men that are high earners look for similar in particular, because they can supply the money, they just want a good wife who will treat them well and take care of the family well. Male doctors marrying women that are doctors, those marriages usually happen because he found her during school before he became a high earner or when he first started working at his job. Men that are high-earners are in high demand, so naturally our standards are going to be high especially because we want the best for our children and putting a child in daycare is not what we want, especially with liberal Western ideals being forced upon children. I get that women want to have it all, but life is about choices and trade-offs. Not everyone is destined to live a luxury lifestyle and there are people who are much more hard-working like refugees for example, that deserve it more, so remove those bad intentions if you are serious about marriage. 2) In your second point, you don't need to be university educated to be smart and women wanting to have "intelligent conversations" with men is low on our priority list. We care more so that you can carry a conversation about current/world events with us and in a social setting but if I, as a doctor, married another doctor, the last thing I want to talk about with my wife when I get home is something even remotely work-related. Women that are doctors love to marry men that are doctors also but the topic of conversation past the venting gets annoying after a while and we prefer something that won't remind us of our stressful work lives. We want an intelligent and socially capable woman, not a know-it-all that likes to one-up us and be domineering. It's NOT an issue of being insecure. Above all, we look at the intention of the woman with her job/income. Is it to sustain herself in case she doesn't get married? Is it to support her parents when they get older if she doesn't have any brothers? Or is she using it to fund a luxury lifestyle she wants and wants to spend money freely without being told anything? People's intentions and how they spend their money reveals all. Therapy is a must for everyone in this day and age. 3) This point in the video I agree with, a lot of people in general aren't good at separating work from home. High-earning people have very stressful jobs and most people don't understand, they only look at the money so we don't want to deal with anyone that is going to stress us out at home. If you need a man to "bring out" the feminine energy, then you're not truly feminine in the first place (imagine a man saying he needs a woman to bring out his masculine energy...you would think he's a liar and the opposite of masculine). It's a trait that grows based on how you were raised. High-earning women tend to be masculine which is opposite of what we seek. Again, therapy and self-awareness is important. 4) The emotional Intelligence point is good, but in my opinion, most people in general don't have it and need therapy. A lot of women complain about their father's generation and beyond and that's fair, but a lot of them have become those same type of men that they grew to hate, more notably the educated ones based off what we've seen since they have money to throw around and use as a basis in arguments if they aren't getting their way in a marriage. There is far too much risk for a high-earning man in divorce in the West because they always get screwed over by the laws so we try to mitigate that risk as low as possible by selecting accordingly and we have no problem with going down in looks if it means a life of peace and a prosperous, pious family. The fitna of the Western culture affects everyone. Don't expect from someone what you can't/aren't willing to provide yourself whether it's lifestyle or how you are treated. Successful marriage is based on similar life goals, lifestyle views, and how one treats their spouse. Education and high income can influence those but it all depends on the individual.

@christofotto2499

10 ай бұрын

I like that 'therapy is a must for everyone in this day and age" I guess you won't get much applause here from the female party😂 so at least here I am 😂 white christian german

@oyerohabib

Ай бұрын

Never thought I would have read through this very detailed, and comprehensive write-up. Barakallahu fikum because raised so many very valid points and the concluding parts makes it even much better.

Dating Apps For Muslims...And The Havoc or Joyce...Next Topic Please...

Dear Muslim women, to find a good man, ask a male role model who is a family member, don’t listen to women, they will lead you a stray

Salaam Aleikum Nafisah. I am interested in participating in your program. I sent you an email. How do I go about with your program?

With inflation two people need to work unless he is very wealthy and wants to pay all the bills which in todays age is rare. I like to have my Own business and have my own money and own freedom.

@SandraStachowiczLtd

11 ай бұрын

Respectfully, that's just a story you keep telling yourself High earners don't care if a woman works or not It's only men with a 50/50 mentality that care about those things

Women CEOs are not very feminine I am my own business owner as a female and I am proud. I can be very giving to a man who loves me.

@SandraStachowiczLtd

11 ай бұрын

I feel you have touched on something important Personally, I believe having a business and being feminine are mutually exclusive

Can you do a video on how do you know of the husband is the one allah has chosen for you? Like a soulmate ?

@luce3619

11 ай бұрын

She did make a video about meeting potential spouse some time ago. I don't have the link but just youtube 'potential husband nafisa Pearl's it will come up. One key thing she mentioned is to pray istikhara and then go on to next steps.

Dating Apps For Muslims...And The Havoc or Joyce...Next Topic Please...