Why do I forget everything when I jam with other people? Plus a few tips for how to overcome
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Why is it that I sound great when I play at home, but as soon as I start jamming with other people, I forget everything I know? In this short video, we'll discuss why this happens and how you can overcome this.
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I’ve been playing guitar over 55 years and this is the soundest advice I have ever heard. Agree that we are our own harshest critic. Chill and enjoy the ride…
One thing i have learned over the years playing in bands is when you make a mistake or you think its not going great most people in the audience dont pick up on it anyway - i’ve lost count of the times when i ‘ve messed up and people have said well it sounded good to me - so don’t beat yourselves up people we all make mistakes even the greats - great topic by the way there should be more stuff like this - Great job.
@kane6529
Жыл бұрын
Yes sir even if you mess up if you own it most won’t even notice unless it’s a really nasty interval and even then if you bring it home the listeners ears will accept it
@justanothernguyen2334
Жыл бұрын
that's a surefire way to be mediocre all your life. criticize yourself. Hard
@xeneize1793
Жыл бұрын
Totally agree with you. In fact, it happened to me a month ago. I was playing a Peter Green solo which I knew it perfectly. But I did mess up a few notes. I knew it but nobody else noticed it. And my audience was full of guitarists!. It was reassuring to know that you can mess up and most people don’t even noticed.
@davidmckenna6562
Жыл бұрын
BB King was once asked if he ever listened to his own recordings and he said Heck No I would hear all the mistakes I made.
@greggorsag9787
Жыл бұрын
I played innumerable solos in many gigs. Some of my worst got the most compliments. I once played a 30-second solo flawlessly at a crowded club gig. I mean, it was freakin’ brilliant. I got off stage expecting to hear compliments. Only one guy said anything: the totally wasted guy who spent the entire solo doing the splits in his jeans. With a beer in one hand. The audience is not there for our guitar stylings (unless you are BB King), more for the songs and energy and show, and at jams people generally wait for others to finish so they can play. So at bottom, the pressure is in your head. You learn that in time.
Big problem with jamming also is lack of warmup, often you are coming in cold and I find the difference huge. I’m twice as good after 10 to 15 mins of warming up with some scales or even just noodling to loosen your hands and engage your brain.
@theofficialdiamondlou2418
Жыл бұрын
Warm up for an hr or two before you head to a session . It’s what I always try to do. And works ok. Your not smoking hot or anything . But your mentally ready .
@easye9-21
11 ай бұрын
I'm not a fast player by any means and I too find taking 10-15 minutes of warning up helps me tremendously, but to each their own.
@douglaschristine8387
4 ай бұрын
Your so right Nick, you don't take walk in a gym and start pumping heavyweights or take a test without studying. Warmups go with everything we do. I always say I have good days and bad days on guitar but if I look back, most of those bad days I picked up the guitar and started playing instead of warming up first. Then on the other hand being put on the spot is a lot of nerves overtaking your brain, getting in the way. Happy warmups, lol.
I've played guitar and performed in bands for many years and aside from the predictable jitters at big gigs or whatever I've been able to pull things together. Then about a year ago i decided to get very dedicated to playing walking bass and began taking lessons from a very capable and accomplished teacher. I practice, get prepared, feel confident between lessons (on Zoom, usually once a month) but I have yet to play without a total train wreck when it's time for me to play the assigned material for my teacher. He's really gracious about it, understanding, has told me this happens to just about everyone, and that he knows I can play. He "knows" because I have video recorded myself and sent him stuff after getting the assignments under my fingers. At my lessons it's as though amnesia sets in and I can't find my way around the fretboard, which of course is really disappointing and embarrassing. I'm not going to give up because I really like what we're working on and I like my teacher and his great attitude. But wow! It's pretty sucky and I'd sure like to just get over it. I've heard the same from others who are accomplished musicians but get really nervous when put on the spot with their teachers or an audience. That doesn't make it any easier to handle, but I guess it is what it is. Thanks for addressing this, Brian.
This is one of the most reassuring videos I’ve ever watched. Practical suggestions too. Thank you.
Thanks Brian. This very thing happened to me yesterday. I had some spare time and was located right next door to a local music shop, so I walked in and started messing around with some of the guitars, but when I sat down to play I forgot just about everything. I'm glad to hear that I'm normal; it's quite encouraging.🙂
@jwsorrell
Жыл бұрын
I, too, suffer from "guitar shop amnesia."
@iwonder2c
Жыл бұрын
Same here.
@geoffguitars
11 ай бұрын
I would say music shops are the worst place to try and showcase any skills. Not least because none of the equipment is your own and it is intimidating to be surrounded by the seasoned musicians who work in them.
@haggishead7558
9 ай бұрын
Yeah especially when your as crap on the guitar as most youtube guitarlearners...Nothing wrong with learning though .@@geoffguitars
I've been doing open mics for about 5 years, experiencing all the issues you talked about. Finally I asked myself, "Why am I doing these open mics, anyway? I'm not all that good of a player. Mediocre, at best." It occurred to me that one of the reasons I often come away feeling disappointed in my performance is because I was playing for the wrong reason. I was playing to "show off" some "advanced" stuff I'd been practicing and basically saying "Hey, look what I can do!" But when I get in front of the audience I usually blow it. Not always badly but enough that it leaves me feeling unfulfilled and disappointed. So I finally decided to NOT try to impress anyone. There's an audience out there. What do THEY want? They want to be ENTERTAINED. I know from experience that when I stick to what I can do well (as opposed to trying to show off some tricky licks that are beyond by capability) I get lots of complements and I know people were entertained. The audience gets more enjoyment out of a performance that comes of without a hitch than they get by a performance that comes of awkwardly. Even a performance that may be "technically" mediocre -- but is done well -- is more satisfying to the audience than a performance that makes them feel as awkward as the performance itself. Anyway, that's just my 2-cents for what it might be worth. Of course, given inflation these days, it might no be worth much. LOL!
You are spot on with keeping it simple. I’ve been going to a jazz jam night for a couple months and have found that when I play one or two pentatonic boxes, kept the phrasing simple, repeat or do call and response lines, I walk away feeling better and hearing compliments than when I try to run up and down the neck. Also, it’s good to reference the melody or head of the song in your solo. So many great solos are just embellishments on the melody with trials and passing notes thrown in. Glad you are talking about this Brian!
Can't tell you how much I appreciate your lessons and suggestions. I have been playing guitar for over 50 years and this video is a must see for a problem everyone wrestles with. Thanks for your dedication and for being there. MB
Not only do I forget when I'm jamming with others, I'll study one of your videos step by step, and then forget the entire concept a week later. Of course being a geezer now doesn't help. Thanks for all you do Brian.
This used to haunt me all the time but these days I don't even let it be a thing. It basically doesn't exist for me anymore. I just sink into the song and do my thing. It's like a meditation.
I only play at home, alone. I hope to play with others soon, and I'm glad for this video, because I am concerned that I might forgot everything. Here's my mind strategy that I plan on employing to sidestep that potential disaster ... 1. Most other players will be more wrapped up in how THEY sound, than how I sound...so I need not worry that they'll be hyper focused on micro analyzing me. 2. Rest in the musical basics...in tune, steady rhythm (like the video said, "keep it simple") Enjoy letting them shine, rather than worry over trying to prove myself This might not be the right approach for everybody, but knowing myself, I think it'll work for me
This is so true. It is just like not knowing what to say to a pretty girl, I think. If you're really excited, thinking gets hard. I would say that feeling this way is a great reason to keep after it! Make that pretty girl smile! Ya just gotta try to relax, and remember being able to play at all is magic to a lot of people.
Many years ago I took a public speaking course, first thing was know your topic, second was breath, 3rd was practice with a mirror. All these things relate to guitar playing in public. Play what you know, take a breath (pause), and your idea record yourself (mirror). Great video Brian, I am going to do it.
@swotblus2214
Жыл бұрын
Also spend time playing in front of a mirror. It helps take your eyes off the guitar while playing, let's you check posture and, most importantly, you can practice guitar faces.
I'm a beginner to intermediate guitar player but a 10 handicap golfer. In competition golf a very big key is: "Don't have too many swing thoughts. 2 - 3 at the most." I like what you said about not trying to do too many things at once on the guitar.
Just want to say I take more out of your lessons than any other teacher on KZread thank u for what u do. I hope to be able to buy your lessons soon thank u again
Amen, Brian! Very encouraging. I usually fall apart like a cheap watch, but now I feel a little more empowered! Way to go!
You speak how I feel. Just needed to be reminded of it. Less is more. Thanks man. Love and peace x
Always amazing how different something sounds when you wait and go back to listen to it. I find I am a lot more objective when I listen the next day. Good tip!
Awesome topic, great advice. And timely for me. Seems timely for a lot of people here, actually :). I go to Bluegrass jams and have hardly ever taken an instrumental break. Last time I was there I joked that I'd host the next jam in my bedroom. Cause I'm amazing when I play there :) The only thing I'd add, that has worked at times for me, is to really REALLY know the song (songs) I think I'm going to play. Educators call it "over learning". I've heard musicians say, you're not ready to play it on stage until you're sick of playing it. Thanks for this Brian. Your teaching is just excellent, btw, and this video is a real shot in the arm for many of us.
@johnmoyer5515
Жыл бұрын
That's a good point I will play a song I'm learning over and over for a couple of weeks until the next song strikes a chord
You’re exactly right Brian forgetting is a stumbling block for all of us.
Those were great suggestions. I'm going to put at least some of them into practice. But I have one more: Practice loud. As loud as you think you can get away with. Too often when we're doing our "bedroom" practice or jamming to songs or whatever, we're playing at a low enough volume that our own, shall we say, less-than-stellar playing is politely almost in the background. We can be easy on ourselves. "That didn't sound too bad." Then you show up at a jam or gig and you're loud and up front and distracted by all the stuff going on that you're not used to and maybe you've got a bit of stage fright going on and *_POW!!!_* You forget how to play. Practicing loud will accustom you to the sound pressure level you're going to be dealing with when it's for real.
I am so glad you touched on this Brian. I was playing the other night and completely forgot about 75 percent of everything I knew for about a minute. Felt terrible. This video really helps! Thank you.
Thanks Brian, good advice. You’re so honest and sincere in all you do. Appreciate it.
You hit the nail on the head. This is golden advice for all, even seasoned players. Thank you so much for spelling it out!
Wow, I thought this only happened to me. I love these "chat lessons." They accomplish much more than a new improv. Reality just hit me in the face. When I play simple, people tell me I was really great tonight, but I always feel like there is a guitar player in the crowd saying "he is a fraud." That's when I start forcing one of my hot licks, and it sounds terrible. I don't play it right, and it sounds forced. Keep it simple!
Finally someone has taken the time to explain this feeling and you just mess up when you play with others. Thanks Brian Ron
Thanks for that, Brian! It’s good to know that I’m not the only one feeling like a moron at jams! 😊🤪🎸
@kane6529
Жыл бұрын
The good thing is your actually going to jams 🤩
@GuitarJoLa
Жыл бұрын
@@kane6529 you’re right, at least I’m trying ☺️
@markopalikko6986
Жыл бұрын
Not the only one, I’m with you.
It’s a tough topic and what you said was so good. Egos are very fragile when it comes to performing and it’s never easy to take criticism. There are musicians unfortunately that enjoy pointing out your flaws/mistakes at any given point and it takes resolve and commitment to keep on pushing forward in your playing. You find out early how much you love playing guitar when your discouraged from recording/peoples comments, but you keep on picking it up and playing. That’s what separates the love for the instrument and just the passing interest. Thank you Brian for your contributions to all us that are at different levels but love the guitar
Thanks so much for addressing this and for your advice. I’ve played for 45 years and I’ve never heard anyone really talk about this issue. Very helpful 👍🏼
You are so sympathic and so encouraging towards a regular problem, thanks
This is a great topic that has affected my self esteem as a musician many times. Thanks for addressing it and reinforcing that we all get this.
Brian, ALWAYS great, useful advice. You come across personally as a modest and vulnerable EVERYMAN, and yet your guitar skills are phenomenal, and where EVERYMAN strives to reach. Thank you for yet another thoughtful, insightful, and really helpful video.
Some great advice Brian, thank you. This has happened to me a lot, and still does. For some reason, mostly when trying out guitars in shops. Everything I've ever learnt just goes out of the window. My only way of saving my embarrassment is to not mention that I've actually been learning the guitar for many years. I walk out thinking it's better that people think I'm a complete novice than I'm not very good.
You the man Brian. Yet another gem from the man. Cheers.
Dear Brian, as you know I have been going to blues jams for about a year and this happens to me so much. Thank you so much for your advice. The beauty of learning from you is how relatable your guidance is. Everything you say in this video is so accurate the situation and the proposed solutions. Thank you and grateful for your teachings always
Brian...thank you for this. You are definitely the best guitar guy online by far. I am in Ireland and I am a premium member..
You nailed it! Thanks, I play guitar, drums, keyboard, vocals I have experienced that scenario on all of these instruments!
Loved this video. I can absolutely relate to it. I’m 65 and have been playing guitar for 45 years and still growing as a musician. Thank you for sharing. Will be watching and learning from West Virginia. ❤️🎸
That was a good talk Brian about real stuff. Thanks.
Absolutely fantastic video. Hits home for me!! Thank you!
100% on point. I’ve been there. Great video
Nailed it, Brian. In a jam, or as the next commenter said, in a guitar shop, one can forget everything. But you gotta do it! You’re right about recording - it usually does sound better an hour later. Great post. Bruce D.
Thanks Brian. You're a great teacher and your lessons really resonate with me.
Thank you for this, Brian (paid subscriber!). I've gotten a lot from your lessons, but every time I face the mic at the club I go to, I invariably forget chords and/or lyrics, and then I try to hurry up and get through it, which just adds to the mess I'm making. I've been trying to find ways to "calm it down," without much success. Your ideas are terrific, and I'll take them to heart!
Spot on. I started playing in a band only recently, one gig so far. But this is exactly what I did and went great. Keep it simple, do your homework (know the songs) and just follow along. Actually, in a band settings I found the less you play the better it sounds. Thanks Brian for all the tips, I'll try the recording one for the next gig!
Thank you for your insight Brian
Excellent video that touches on an important topic. One should always differentiate between practice and live playing and view them as totally different things. In my experience, when you try and specifically play something that you’ve been practicing during a session or live gig, it rarely works. Why? Because it is too fresh and has not been truly internalized. If you just play in the moment without thinking, sometimes years later, what you practiced will manifest itself in some form that you probably didn’t expect. So what I do when I’m practicing something and I think it’s really cool, I say to myself “yeah, that sounds really cool. It will be awesome when it comes out in my real playing in a couple of months or years.” I’m not even going to try to work it into my real playing because I know it will just happen and when it does, it will be my own.
Good topic to discuss. We all can relate to this.
Fantastic video Brian, thank you, it definitely hit home with a lot of us by the looks of the comments.
Thanks for this. I'm in the middle of recording an audition video and it's hard to not get frustrated when it seems like I've somehow forgotten everything I've been practicing for the past 6 months. I'll definitely these things into account for when I practice and then for when I record or perform.
Your very wise sir, you nailed it, l like your ideas on how to combat the inevitable times we are asked to "play something", but more so hearing you talk on it is knowing others struggle at this as well
As always, thanks for another great lesson
When I think I've mastered a song, I record myself and generally, it takes me many takes before I manage to complete the performance. It tells me, I need to practice more. A former guitar teacher told me, to progress, you have to perform - and to perform you have to know that you'll get it right first time at least most of the time. The three most important things to getting good enough are 1. Practice 2. Practice 3. Practice.
@geoffguitars
11 ай бұрын
I think practice is extremely important but, one can never practice enough. Sometimes, you just have to take the bull by the horns and wing it and be willing to look like a fool - being fearless is at least as important in my opinion. Easier said than done of course :)
Sage advice from a master. Thank you.
The perfect subject Brian but that happens to myself too. Alot of it is mood and stress and anxiety makes you forget because you can't think straight. So now I want to hear you, thanks 🙏 Brian.
Such a nice supportive subject to tackle. And great advice- thanks!!
Thanks Brian, this is super helpful and encouraging. I have been wrestling with this for 3 years. Your approach is super helpful
Thanks Brian. These talking sessions are always useful and moreover constructive.
Really love your chill attitude and your videos. You got a great voice for commentating. Thanks. ProfBlue
Good stuff thanks. Appreciate the vids you've made that address mental aspects.
Well Brian - you,ve singled out the issue that we all have. I feel that there is a link with self-confidence. Always wishing that your performance were as polished as the practice. Very helpful. Thanks.
@johnbrown1851
Жыл бұрын
Sometimes the performance is better than the practice..... especially if you play with some good people ☺️
great explanation and practice technique to better upstand what is happening.
Great point especially at my age when forgetting things becomes a modus operandi.
Thanks Brian, that's great advice really like the two tips record myself and keeping it simple.
Good advice Brian, thanks.
I'm so glad this was brought up. It is totally depressing when this happens! I didn't touch my guitar for three weeks after one of these situations.
Thank you very much for that insight. I always thought it just me because I haven't played live very much over the years but just started in the last few years.
Great topic Brian. I've had that happen when I go to my local guitar shop to pick up one of my guitars that I'd dropped off to have some work done. The guy says to play it some to make sure I'm satisfied with the work he's done. I sit there and nothing comes to mind. I can't play two chords together. lol
@MrA1582000
Жыл бұрын
Sounds like me.
I didn't think a video like this existed, eventually I don't feel alone and like a dufus. I think my problem is trying to "silently" impress, then I go out on a limb and things just fade into the ether, forgetting riffs and basic things. What I learnt from this video and comments is, self talk before playing, remind myself ... Keep it simple, don't impress... Thanks for sharing this video.
Exactly the video I needed to watch. Cheers.
Hey Brian, that was encouraging!! Although I'm not at the stage of trying out with a band, definitely good advice you put up!! 👍
I'm watching this video just after getting home from band practice, and you nailed it. Today was one of those days, where everything clicked and sounded amazing. But then, at other times, I also feel defeated because I feel I have no idea what I'm doing. I'll try this one-shot exercise.
great great advice...and we're mostly setting a very high bar for our playing and we forget that it's supposed to be fun...thanks Brian
Great subject.I’ve gone to the same blues jam three times. The first time, I came away feeling pretty good about myself. Got compliments, some positive attention, etc. The second time was not so good. During jams you don’t know who or what you’re going to be paired with, not that I’m blaming. The third time started out ok, but when the volume started to increase, I couldn’t hear myself.When this happens, instinct kicks in, and you start hitting the strings harder. At this point all subtlety and control is gone. Like you mentioned, I’ve put way too much time and effort to ever coming away from a situation like that feeling like an amateur, especially since I know what I’m capable of. Fortunately, I’ve been playing a long time, and I’ve had periods when I couldn’t play with any inspiration even at home under ideal circumstances, but I know this happens, and it’ll come around again. Thanks for a great and usually un mentioned topic.
Hi Brian. From Spain i'd like to thank you for your channel.For me Is the best i know by far. You touch not only my favourite playing style but also my inner questions like the one you address in this video. Flawless job!! Congrats!!
Thank you very much, Brian.... this lesson relates to me a lot
Great advice Brian! In most cases, less can be better. Simple phrasing with accuracy is very pleasing to those listening. Mistakes many times are not noticed, at least that I s what my wife says 😉👍
Great video here. I was just curious to see what you said, but I guess I figured some of this out once I started playing in public. I was gonna second another post that talks about being comfortable making mistakes, but not stopping! Maybe the crowd picked up, maybe they didn’t, but as long as you don’t stop, it’s never too bad lol. Good pointers, thanks!
Great content. Here's another thing that helps me out: lower your standards. That is, practice to a higher level than you actually expect to be able to perform. Kind of like saying shoot for the moon, you will be a lot happier wherever you end up.
Perfect timing Brian. I was starting to believe after all the time and practice I have done, that maybe I'm just not the guitarist that I thought I was. I've been pretty down about it to the point of giving up. Even though I get positive comments about my playing . Truthfully I think They're being nice at times? Anyway you have given me a 2nd wind! I was a member of Active Melody for a few years and learned a lot from you. I'm going to rejoin because your a great teacher and can read minds too! lol Jim
Every dang time. It's stupid frustrating. Thanks for just talking about this!
Great topic and advice! I don't think I've seen anyone post a video saying it happens to the best of us!
My original playing nemesis was the record button. Feel good, sound good, hit record, fall apart. Performance anxiety. It plagued me in gymnastics in my youth (until it didn't), it plagued me as a performing juggler--always--and it plagued me recording (until it didn't). But as soon as I think about it, I'm certain to make a mistake...and yet nobody I let hear it notices, even the worst egregious errors. I know anyone musical would. But the bottom line--you gotta have fun and keep plugging away. Good topic--and I always love your honesty. Stay Well Groovy One!
Great advice coming at a great time for me. (Got a gig tonite where I'll put your advice to good use) You hit the nail right in the head. Thx WJ
I can relate to this - I don't jam with others or play in public at all, but I once had the opportunity to record a solo in a proper recording studio, where my son works as a recording engineer and producer. I chose a solo I already knew and could play well, but it took me over 40 takes to get something I was even remotely happy with, and even then we ended up splicing two takes together for the final video!
Exelentes consejos.. Gracias.. You are so good ❤ Thanks for sharing..
Good advice, thank you!
For sure I've had more bad nights than good, but both the bad and the good keep me working at it. Good advice, I've gone back to recordings I did months/years ago that I never listened to and say, "hey, I did real good there" but of course forgot it all and can't reproduce most of it because I am always moving to new ideas. It is all part of the journey though and it all contributes to the collective progression of my skill set.
Awesome. I have those same experiences but it's the times when I feel like I'm on fire that keep me coming back.
Thanks Brian, good clip. I'm still just a home studio player, but I know exactly what you mean. Any time I have sat down with another musician, my mind almost goes blank, especially if they start riffing in a genre I don't normally play in. So I think it's important (at least in the beginning) to a) play with someone who's into the same style and b) stick with a few standards in that style.
And I thought that I was the only one that had that problem. Thank's for this video !
Thanks a great topic and so true. I play out at a lot of open mic. Great idea to record yourself and keep it simple…
You hit the nail on the head. When it happens to me is I try to slow it down in my mind. But it doesn't always work.
As soon as the record button is pressed, I'm all thumbs
I’m not to this point in my journey yet, but that was some really good advice to start incorporating into my practice
Great video. Thank you.
Thank you Brian.
Brian, great subject presentation. Thank you. I can relate. I think keeping the song simple for a performance is a good start. When I am alone working on an original or a cover sometimes I pay to much attention to the details of every part of it's structure. Sometimes this can actually over complicate my ability to perform it smoothly especially in front of people. So, probably its better for me to start out with a simple arrangement and build the details I invision into the composition after creating a foundation that works.
It happens to the best of us. Good vidio