I bought fish cakes for dinner one day and ended up being screamed at and accused of not taking his needs into consideration because he didn't want fish that day. The entire house got wrecked and i ended up with a black eye for' getting it all wrong' once again. Thank fk I'm out of it now.

Never give up on yourself, never give in to demands and never go back to toxic people

He complained that I never had dinner ready when he walked in the door from work (I also worked full time). The next day I made a fried chicken meal with salad & a starch. He was mad because he had chicken for lunch. Can't win with a narcissist.

God, the explosions of heated fury. That was the worst thing. When she was calm, I could smile and nod, crack a joke, go to another room. But the eruptions of rage? It was scary,. Not in the sense that my life was in danger, but that I suddenly didn't know who I was with.

@davidarundel6187

Жыл бұрын

Similar situation - cold fury from an Empath, in court . The Narcassistic ones - 3 of 4 , resigned , the court registrar , was dumbstruck . . Such a tight controll on the rage , was a sight rarely seen .

I could tell by the sound of his footsteps when he came home

@oldwelshlady6584

Жыл бұрын

Oh, me too! Me too!

I really wish you had been around 20 years ago,and it wouldn’t have taken me fifteen years to escape ....it was always my fault and I believed him every time.

@karthymcg2104

Жыл бұрын

I understand completely ❤, my husband was never at fault.

@patriciafriesen4351

Жыл бұрын

I can relate. They twist the truth, and the words "I'm sorry" don't exist in their vocabulary!

Superior. To you Sir, some grateful fuel.👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I found you through the Harry's Wife series. HG provides a PhD course in Narcissistic disorder. My daughter was dealing with a jerk in her social group at university. I referred her to HG's knowledge vault and wow! What a help it was. She shared HG's wisdom with the rest of her peers and they all learned to cut of communications with the toxic narcissist and healed the group dynamic for more than 50 fellow students. HG's videos became group discussions for the group and they mapped the narc's conduct and learned how to identify the narcissistic types. 51 people directly benefitted. Thank you Sir.

@bethwilton8075

Жыл бұрын

Wonderful! Thank you for sharing ❤️

@sharonalbanese8084

Жыл бұрын

That's is so wonderful. Well done to HG and to you! 👏

You just described my 25-year marriage. I finally figured it out. I got out 12 years ago. Very happy now. Thanks for putting a label on it. Very helpful!

@barbaragrider9136

Жыл бұрын

Mine lasted almost 30 years!

@nymaksco1835

9 ай бұрын

I’m glad you got out! Mine lasted 17 years. I got out and then he died in a brutal DUI car accident, 5 years later.

Treading on eggshells is part & parcel re. Life with the narcissist! It could be as simple as boiling an egg for to long! To kick them off! Thanks HG.

@SkylarK_x_bk_0

Жыл бұрын

@Aquarius, yes, parental narcissist reacted similar and one time, she was shown the evidence otherwise, no apology, no response because the evidence spoke for itself, I recall that incident very well without ET triggered.

Because of HG’s excellent presentations, I realized my neighbor is a narcissist. I have “ghosted” her. She is so enraged at losing control of me that she is going around to the neighbors telling them lies about me. I don’t care. I am so happy and have so much peace now. Thank you HG.

I think some of the behavior is used as a shield to prevent a partner from catching on to the façade. “Let me walk out, explode, cause a scene - do anything to offset this person from continuing down the track they are on to figuring me out.” Leave them puzzled for a few hours or days, come back then act like nothing’s wrong and gaslight them about the whole thing.

@staceystrukel1917

3 ай бұрын

You nailed it. It works for awhile.

This was an amazingly accurate description of the two narcissists I know.

@magdalenakalmanova2729

Жыл бұрын

narcissists and an egoists

After listening to your video’s it is possible to recognize so many narcissists! I have always thought Justin Trudeau was one and now I know he is!!

@gabbyb4493

Жыл бұрын

@@karenrobson1584 Trudeau is most definitely a narcissist, his empathy is not genuine! Fake tears and staged photo ops! Most are not fooled by him!

Before this video I was uncertain of whether my x was a narcissist or not but what you described was exactly what my life was like. For no apparent reason he would blow. I could even be sympathising with him over something and i would become the villain. I always said life was like living on the edge of an active volcano. He would throw his plate full of food into the sink and I would have to fish broken plate and food out of sink unblocking the drain hole as I did so. I could never remember what I had said to cause such a reaction.

The first time I saw his eyes go black 😖

@beccaboo3040

Жыл бұрын

I know what you mean

@veronicafullford1697

Жыл бұрын

The eyes go black and the neck and shoulders seen to hunch up and swell like the Incredible Hulk. Then the rage erupts.

Most often done to their punching bag

Sure seems familiar. Although I dumped him some twenty years ago this episode reminds me of his insanity. I got out and I stayed out! His parting words to me were that I "didn't do the important things"!

Enlightenment! you have clearly explained what triggers the sudden explosive rages, I can now understand why my Mother was so often in an icy rage against myself and others. I guess its inevitable that all children challenge their parents at various times point but a narcissistic parent is on such a short fuse that fury is frequently ignited to devastating effect. Thank you HG

Thanks HG. You have totally confirmed what I’ve thought for the last 5 years ✌️

Makes me think I'm a midrange. Sucks. That aside, your videos open my eyes more and help me see why I am the way I am. Thank you HG.

@CamCam-mq6ji

9 ай бұрын

What specifically sets you off?

Ah yes, how I miss the fights created out of thin air.

My narcissist lost it with me last night wow fine 1 min then completely lost it the next maybe it was full moon that got to him so maybe he's a lunatic aswell 🙃

@jjw9641

Жыл бұрын

You should use HG's work to try to get away if you live with him.

@beccaboo3040

Жыл бұрын

@@jjw9641 it's okay I know how to handle him we've been together nearly 20 years. I am very surprised it's lasted so long to be honest. I can't leave yet it's not the right time.

@jjw9641

Жыл бұрын

@@beccaboo3040 Ok. It's obviously your life and I don't know the details. But I know that staying around a narc is bad for you, and you won't properly escape unless you are far away. Good luck!

@darlene5588

Жыл бұрын

I've realized that my ex husband was a sociopathic narcissist. I left him after 6 years of marriage. Unfortunately one of my daughters is a narcissist. Haven't spoken to her in 15 years and she's kept my only grandchild away from me since he was 5 days old. He's 16 now. She cut me out of her life when I remarried. She thought I chose my husband over her. Well I've been married to this man for 30 years now. He goes into fits of rage occasionally then doesn't talk or interact with me for 3-5 days. I fear that he has some degree of narcissism. He's never done anything physically to me but verbally abuses me from time to time. I'm in my late 60's and we own a house together. So leaving is out of the question. Most of the time it's alright but I never know what will set him off and when. Listening to HG helps a lot with learning about narcissist. I'm a retired RN and wonder if nurses from my age group are mostly empaths. We felt that nursing was our calling.

Excellent advice all around. Not necessarily the easiest to follow when emotions are high or a physical assault has just occurred, but the most likely way to be able to achieve the 'get out, stay out' in the end.

@CamCam-mq6ji

9 ай бұрын

Yeah it would likely tip the balance

My colleague erupted because I didn’t answer her email. 😂. But I’ve been listening to HG, so I didn’t react. ❤🎉

OMy Lord... Dribbling laughing out loud 😂👏👏👏. Ya got me a good one 😂 Just took a sip of my first cuppa, with your first scenario I lost it.... Hahahaha 👏👏👏🙏😂 True,true,true;All-so True lol

This was our lives for 2 years. HG helped me to understand what was happening. I went GOSO.

H.G.T....Ty(!) U DESERVE way more subs...I mean, these kids r on KZread offering nothing more than a dance move...and have mills of subs...like wtf(?)...geez...plz keep up the good work(!)💋💋💋

Your help is so welcome 🙏 🤗

Best one this far Absolutely hilarious 😂😂👏👏👏 Very very true Felt every word After spilling my coffee you had my full attention 😂🙏 Yep, A1 on this Bloody Brilliant 😂😂😂👍 It's your explanations HG Down to a t and I'm soso glad I can now laugh about my shitty past Cheers and thanks 🕊️

The npd coupled with alcoholism is purgatory here on earth. Thank God i have escaped eleven years ago. Through awareness campaign about narcissism, you have freed a lot of victims and im one of them. Keep up the good work HG. We are here to support you.

My sibling, who is a narc, and I knew it.. We civilly agreed to something,after a short while, like a switch it was full on rage attack., to which I did not respond, stayed calm,and having not achieved what they wanted,stoped just as quick. By this stage of the attack I had been breaking free of the control.

One of your best videos HG. Thank you.

Thanks HG, I've took your advice & got out. Your right about the rage always being there & I was forever saying sorry for his temper tantrums. He would explode for no reason !!

The physical assault is very disturbing to me

Hello HG , I almost did not watch today. I needed a break from Henrietta and his wife. It’s been a crazy week with them. HG every time I listen to one of your videos of narcissistic personality I learn so much. No where were you 69 years ago when I first learned my mother wasn’t right on her feelings to anyone. Her hatred was scary as hell. With anything setting her off. Never knowing when . Afraid to bring friends home because of it. Not even caring if her daughter was r by a teacher at the age of 7. My dad had to handle these things with her telling him what to do and say every step of the way. Blessings HG 🌹♥️🙏🤗

I think they keeping yr viewing figures down!

Yes, this explains it.😔 Thank you HG.🖤

Thanks for the video

Why did the narcissist erupt? Because someone was out in left field.

I questioned his authority to pull a particularly nasty trick

I created my own term for this on/off behavior. I came to see my ex-husband of 25 years as “predictably unpredictable.” It wasn’t a matter of IF something was going to erupt, but rather WHEN it would happen. The unpredictability of it all is what keeps you on eggshells around the narcissist. Always anticipating. Always trying to avert the explosion, silent treatment, devaluation, punishment, etc. I can assert HG Tudor’s strong recommendation - this is NOT going to change, it WILL only get worse the longer you stay and give permission of this treatment towards you, and you will PAY severely for staying and living with the “hopium” that it will get better. I do not wish this hell on earth on anyone. It is appalling sad and disappointing.

Thanks for letting us know how to do it when we are in danger .

That was growing up with my malignant narcissist father. You never knew what to expect; you were having a peaceful day and then suddenly the explosion. I've come to realize as an adult, my mother, who I always thought was a co-dependent but I now realize is probably a covert narcissist, also knew what buttons to press to set him off.

Thanks HG…this explains a lot…it’s like I can not say a single innocent conversation without the ignition happening…better not to talk at all.

My ex mother in law was like this …i always said she was like a Volcano 😳😳 and that’s what she would do ,1 minute she was fine next minute she was a Volcano 😳😳 My ex husband once wanted me to apologise to her,and i said no ,because i was right and why would I apologise for something i said ,that was correct,i ended up taking him to A&E because he went to punch me and i ducked and he punched the wall,the A&E guy made him suffer because he broke bones in his hand ,i think the guy knew he had meant to punch me 😮 Iwish i had known H.G. then ,i wouldn’t have suffered the next years 😢😢 whenever he drank whisky ,i knew i was in for an argument,i kept quiet and let him rant on ,i’d learnt my lesson in the oast 😢😢

This is painful to listen to. 😞

This has been my life with my husband for the last 50 years...I kind of knew it wasn't right but he always told me no one else would ever love me as much as he. What a dumbass I was. Trying to get out now before I die.

Still asking myself the same question years later. Why did they erupt? Narcism, alcohol? The combination left me lost for many years. It's wonderful learning about these people and getting closure from understanding what we were up against. Thanks HG.

It happens coz the narc can't see others content.

Informative as always

You're the best...

Hey there, HG!

Hola HG!...Buen vídeo.

Omg I must be crazy ( sociopath 😂) because you totally calm me..... I love to listen to your videos before I feel asleep 😴

My greater narcissistic ex flipped his lid…..like went ballistic. I didn’t challenge at all at the end he just went absolutely bat shit crazy on me.

U r bk ❤️

I'm curious HG how will the increasing public awareness of narcissistic behaviour and how to spot the narcissist effect those who have Narcissistic Personality Disorder(NPD). Will it decrease supply and increase injury? A break down of this from the POV of the NPD experience would be an interesting topic to hear you cover.

All I did was tell him what time a birthday party was starting so he could be there on time... After blowing up on me he still had to make sure I knew who was in charge by being over an hour late to the party

Never return to a duff firework...

Can you do a video about why and how narcissists use your past against you

Thank you HG!

Cold fury. For decades. I needed this explanation. I didn’t understand at all. Left them behind years ago. This I didn’t understand until hearing this explanation. I get it.

Algorithm ✔

Oh so very true

Sounds like being a narcissist is awful but not to the narcissist I suppose

23:23 could s/he ever forget?

👍

What if there is no emotional reaction to ignited fury? What happens then?

Do empaths ever engage in fury?

@evasvie2699

9 ай бұрын

Maybe when they get into a fit of reactive abuse.

Is it possible to misinterpret their behavior as an eruption, while it be something else?

Too much HG….

My ex mother in law was like this …i always said she was like a Volcano 😳😳 and that’s what she would do ,1 minute she was fine next minute she was a Volcano 😳😳 My ex husband once wanted me to apologise to her,and i said no ,because i was right and why would I apologise for something i said ,that was correct,i ended up taking him to A&E because he went to punch me and i ducked and he punched the wall,the A&E guy made him suffer because he broke bones in his hand ,i think the guy knew he had meant to punch me 😮 Iwish i had known H.G. then ,i wouldn’t have suffered the next years 😢😢

@edoboleyn

Жыл бұрын

I hope you’re safe and well now. ❤️ You deserve it.

👍