When Should I Stop Trying?
“When do I stop trying? My wife told me our marriage was over last January. As a result, we got divorced extremely quickly...
...She still reaches out to me, we still spend time together, but she said she’s going to date this other man once his divorce is finalized.”
Dr. Joe Beam explains that people don’t leave what they have unless they “believe” what they’re going to is better.
The caller explains that he’s decided to be strong and stand for his marriage with the help of his Marriage Helper Coach, Jared.
Dr. Joe Beam also assures this caller to not dwell on the past. It’s done. What you did is what you did. Trying to look back at it and say “Should I have- should I not have…” probably does not benefit you.
Lastly, this caller asks, “If I’m divorced will it hinder my chances of saving my marriage?” We assure this caller that even after divorce, you can STILL save your marriage!
If your marriage is heading toward divorce, or you are already divorced, but you still want to save your marriage, please give us a call. We have resources that have saved and strengthened thousands of marriages and would love to help you save & strengthen yours as well.
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Пікірлер: 50
I never knew infidelity could be so devastating. I found out about my husband on nov 15. I am no closer to healing today as I was then. I begged my husband for counseling and instead he turned to some one else. Why can’t people just get divorced before putting someone threw this. I have no faith in marriage anymore no faith in anything. Can’t even think about having another relationship cuz I have to much hurt baggage that would come along with me I will never trust again. 😡
@elindigeno1215
3 жыл бұрын
That's what happened with me as well. I asked her after she said she wants to file for divorce. I said why do you want a divorce if you're already seeing this man. What is stopping you from being intimate with him?, It's a joke.
@meabm2006
3 жыл бұрын
On the same boat. Found out my wife cheated on me a month ago. Seems like we’re working it out but I don’t know. Feel like it may be time to go...😓 I feel your pain and hope it works out for you!
@elindigeno1215
3 жыл бұрын
@@meabm2006 You will be fine! Move on with your life. I did and I'm happier without her
From a woman's perspective, I feel that she is using Adam. He is the back up plan. She really wants this other guy but if things don't work out with him then she wants Adam to be available. Free yourself from her completely. God will replace her with someone who truly loves and appreciates you. Know your worth. She wants to play both sides.
@barbarameyer8134
3 жыл бұрын
God will bring you a lady that will love and appreciates you for you. Leave her. You are being abused.
@boomdawg56
2 жыл бұрын
I would agree that she is just keeping the door open with him in case the other fella doesn't work out. 35 years ago, I was in the same position, I cut all ties and we were divorced. My opinion was if she needed me in her life, we should be together and working on it, not in limbo. Then 20 years later, she contacted me and told me it was a mistake.
My husband is living with the girl he cheated with. She has 3 kids and so he doesn’t see much of our kids anymore. We’ve been apart 2 years. I finally dated, but it feels wrong because I still love my husband and want to honor my covenant with God. I feel stupid if I go after him and I feel convicted when if I don’t. He hates me now because I am over doing contact with him. I don’t know what to do.
@MarriageHelper
4 жыл бұрын
Hi Laura, thanks for sharing! It can be so difficult when you don't know what to do. We would love to help! In regard to "overdoing contact" with your husband, we recommend SMART Contact. Here's where you can learn all about SMART Contact: marriagehelper.com/what-is-smart-contact/
Why are men so in-love with mean women and keep pursuing them after they treat you like shit,but nice girls are cheated on and left for good smh!
@N452ER
4 жыл бұрын
Exactlyyyyy..😥 My wife left me a month ago and I'm pretty sure she's giving herself to another married man. As much as that hurts, I still wish for things to work. I told her until death, and I don't believe in quitting. I believe in restoration. Although sometimes I think..maybe I should quit.
@N452ER
4 жыл бұрын
@Valiant Woman you understand 💙 I just want her home 😥
@N452ER
4 жыл бұрын
@Valiant Woman you have me curious about you lol
@N452ER
4 жыл бұрын
@Valiant Woman lol like how old are you? Are you married?
@N452ER
4 жыл бұрын
@Valiant Woman I'm very young, and married. Lol 😉
My wife says she wants to be alone since she has so many issues she has to deal with on her own. We have a house together but she’s looking to buy a house right now. So we are trying to sell the house next month. My wife says she doesn’t know what she wants in life and doesn’t know if she has power to be in a relationship right now and she says she’s confused and doesn’t know what she wants. We still kiss and hug so I’m so confused. Smh
Who is not being affected negatively by their collapsing marriage?! Dr. Beam makes it sound like I should give up: I am so messed up right now because of everything that is going on I'm my marriage!! I don't want to give up though. ...
@ryanr6607
20 күн бұрын
Do you have an update?
This is awful. I know this because I hear what this guy is saying in my life. You need to leave and go as far away as you can. You will continue to be crapped on and used and there will never be peace.
Could you do more KZread videos on midlife crisis?
@honestlyme4247
3 жыл бұрын
Yes, I think I am going through that right now.
Minor detail- “i was an alcoholic” Yeah being married to one of those is horrible.....
I feel like Adam in the beginning. 🙏🏼😖
It's a dead fish, pick up your balls and move on. The right person is out there for you.
To the gentleman who is in crisis with his spouse: your wife is a narcissist. Please look into this possibility. The push/pull that she displays with you is a dead give away. I pray you cut her loose COMPLETELY & move on with your child.
She sounds either had either NPD or BPD! She can't be alone and doesn't want him just what she can get from him. I hope he moved on and found someone who values him!
💖
The lady on the right is so beautiful what is her name?
Now!!! Get out there and start dating. Online, bars and clubs, social gatherings, etc Your picking a woman over your own daughter.... WOW!!!! Please turn in your father card and your man card.
@mRuKjoe
4 жыл бұрын
Valiant Woman she already cheated on him. She already has new man. As a woman, if your husband has a new girlfriend and wants nothing to do with you. Also treats your child from a previous marriage like garbage, you as a self respecting person will still want that.
@mRuKjoe
4 жыл бұрын
Valiant Woman it’s called self respect. She has already left the marriage. She no longer wants him. He is not free to have a relationship with someone else but she is. Because of her, he should stay alone for the rest of his life??? Your just too much. The spouse is already gone. Cheating on your spouse is a sin. It’s sad that you believe women having open marriages, and the man has to cross his fingers and hold his breath. Polygamy is a sin. The marriage is over and this guy needs to “get it”. Maybe he is such a beta male and he is so insecure that he does not believe he is capable of being loved. Saving a marriage, when your spouse is living with her new man, BF, husband is just disgusting and any person should have more self worth.