my parents used to own a convenience store. We had many robberies over the years, usually they stole cigarettes. One genius broke in at night, filled a bag with cigarettes, looked up at the security camera, and revealed his face

When I was a night manager in a grocery store, I stopped a guy who tried a beer run. The thing was, he was working at the store when I started, and I knew his first and last name. I called him by name, and he dropped the cases of beer. Made it easy to fill out the paperwork, afterwards.

@WASDLeftClick

Жыл бұрын

Weird. Where I come from a beer run is when you run over to the store to legally purchase beer to either keep a party going or because you’re out of beer and want some soon.

@westtexastiger

Жыл бұрын

@@WASDLeftClick around here, it can be used to refer to a legal or illegal way of getting beer.

@eyeg5967

Жыл бұрын

Why put your cape on for a store that gives two shits for you you sir are a snitch and hope that he has something to loose because if he doesn’t he will be sure to give you pay back hope you got a promotion

@westtexastiger

Жыл бұрын

@@eyeg5967 you, ma'am, are a bitch. The fact that I knew him and called him by name, required no wearing of capes. Because the stupid piece of shit worked for the company at one point, he was easy to find, and he could not argue with camera footage and being called by name.

@christopherjones8448

Жыл бұрын

You just momed him "Jeffery Walker! You drop those beers right now young man!!!"

A friend, Dave, was working as Restore manager for a small Habitat for Humanity affiliate. Dave was in his 50's and had MS. He walked with a cane, but was absolutely fearless. A man came in with his tee shirt pulled over his face, pulled a gun, and demanded the money. He actually said, "Give me the money, Dave." The money was in a small metal box, and the lid was unlatched. Dave recognized the man's voice (from the man having to do some court ordered community service at Habitat for Humanity), reached out and pushed the gun out of the way. The man grabbed the box, and most of the money spilled. He got almost three blocks before the police got him and the three dollars he managed to get out of the box. Still had the box in his hand.

@Maladjester

Жыл бұрын

Revealing that you know the person you're robbing is pretty high up on the stupid scale.

Working at an office supply store. Had 2 lady's that would come in from time to time if we were short-staffed and spread out they would proceed to the printers and grab one walk the long way around the store to the register and try to do a "no receipt return" part of the ruse was to complain how upset with the printer not being able to do what they want and how it's negatively impacting their work life. Well, we got tired of it so the last time they tried it the MOD assured them we would do whatever we had to make it right and he would personally help them find a printer and knock off 85% and walked them to the sales floor to find one for them. While they were occupied we carefully opened the one they wanted to return and removed the printer. As they have done this all before they are aware that we have to open the box before accepting a return. Long story short. They couldn't find an excuse for why they would be returning an empty box to a printer they supposedly never took out of the box in the first place

When I was a manager at Circle K. I had 2 guys do a beer run. They parked across the street I watched them steal the beer, they grabbed 2 24packs each. My wife was visiting me at the time so she yells out the door "hey idiots she's on the phone with the cops " they jump in their truck and take off but they never closed the tail gate so all the beer they just stole came flying out and smashed on the ground. It was hilarious.

My sister worked at a Kmart 11 years ago...three guys broke into the Kmart by cutting through the ceiling overnight and stole a bunch of stuff. Unfortunately, one of the thieves tore his pants getting in. No problem...he stole a new pair and left his torn pair lying in the men's clothing department. He also left his wallet and phone in his old pants. They had all three of them by the end of the next day.

I cackled at "tried to jack a car but now can't even jack himself"

I was texting someone in a WalMart parking lot when someone came and smashed my window, pistol in hand. He told me that he was gonna rob me, in kinda a scared voice. I just told him no, he aimed his pistol in the air, fired it, and nothing came out… this man brought a pistol to a robbery and didn’t bring any bullets. He then looked just dumbfounded at his own stupidity, then he reached in, stole my coffee, and ran off

Coming into high school, we had this dude who wore a cowboy hat everyday he went. He was about 3 grades above me. A year after graduation, he and (I believe) someone else tried to rob the local bank. He wore mask-and-all, but didn’t think to take off his hat. It didn’t take long for authorities to ID him.

@christopherjones8448

Жыл бұрын

Reminds me of that one dude who robbed a bank while wearing white face make up like the joker. They found him a while later (like days or weeks) walking down the street in the same makeup since it was apparently just a part of his normal every day dress wear. Dip shit

I went to high school with a guy who got involved in drugs and wound up in juvenile prison. Two days after he was released, he decided to rob the convince store two blocks from his parent's house. He walked in with his hand on his face and a knife and told the girl at the till to fill a bag with money. When she did, he took his hand from his face and grabbed the bag. The girl on the till had been in his class at school and just called the police and gave them his name and address. He was arrested shortly after

0:49 that's awesome. Being autistic and not recognising many social situations got me death threats from three bikies. However I gave them a run down of a chemical reaction and told them, they better get the job right the first time, because all I need is a battery, kitchen chemicals and three hours, with the process leaving no sign after death. My socially inept head, means I'm not intimidated like people think, therefore don't respond to threats like most people do. Yeah I lost that job because one of those making the threats was a boss of the company. That boss loaded my tool boxes and personally drove a work vehicle, over 2000 kms to personally deliver them to my house. Seems not being frightened really can put fear onto those making threats.

14:55 Robber: Slides gun over the counter. Clerk: *Picks it and scans it* You're credit card... *Racks the slide* Has been declined.

@christopherjones8448

Жыл бұрын

I both hate and love you very much for that, thank you

@farmtomeme6265

Жыл бұрын

@christopherjones8448 And I love and hate you too fellow commenter 🫡

A few days ago I was on a dark intersection and somebody jumped the red light. A police car was behind him the whole time.

Lol that gentleman robber story was weirdly wholesome.

@mileania7287

Жыл бұрын

That was favourite story

@pixel-elfpixxy1543

Жыл бұрын

He maybe a man of crime but first and foremost, he's a man of honor

0:46 "That's not a knife; THAT'S a knife" 😂

I was living in the basement of a multi-vendor market when some true geniuses tried to break in through the roof. I'll summarize the three biggest flaws in their plan: 1. the vent they'd taken the cover off of was not actually large enough to admit an adult human. 2. They had six feet of rope, while the ceilings were roughly twenty feet up. 3. Had they somehow managed to actually get in, not only had I already called 911, but I was waiting with the only weapon I could improvise, a gas powered chainsaw. Lucky for them Atlanta cops show up FAST when told there's a break-in in progress.

@Maladjester

Жыл бұрын

Robber: falls fifteen feet, slowly picks self up, grimacing and rubbing the shoulder he wrenched squeezing through that tiny duct. From behind him: the sound of a revving chainsaw. Unseen voice: "WELCOME TO THUNDERDOME."

A guy in my small town tried to rob the grocery store, across the street from his house, without a mask, armed with a stick, oh and his parents were employees. He was very high/drunk and only got 6 months in jail but it did him good in the 40 years since he has been a upright citizen.

Lmao the robber came back & asked what’s wrong is everything ok 🤣🤣

That first story, they could have gone back into the ceiling to hide till they opened and then leave. But not, that would have been smart. Can't do that.

Not so much dumb criminals (though they were) as other people being awesome. Couple of middle-school knuckleheads case-raced us a few times. Manager decided to stop them. The way the store is laid out, the beer cooler is on one side of the lobby, about fifteen feet from the door. On the other side is a tall (six foot plus) glass partition with a counter behind it where a worker stands. What this means is, to steal beer, people have to boogie fifteen feet across the lobby, then pass very close to the worker by the door, even though he's blocked by the partition and "can't reach them." Well, our manager is a third-degree black belt in ninjutsu. He vaulted that barrier like Jackie Freakin' Chan and landed right in front of two kids, between them and the door.

It's not an intentional robbery, but my great aunt got all of her sisters and some of their kids a bunch of assorted gift cards. Didn't pay for them. Generally speaking probably the nicest thing I've seen her do (context: she's the bitter relative nobody likes) and definitely the nicest robbery I've heard about.

Serial thief who was also a resident at an apartment complex was caught by myself (working securoty) red-handed with some construction gear. I couldn't prove it wasn't his, so I had no choice but to let him go (Canada is soft like that), but then he wheeled around and backhanded me out of nowhere. I thought I was in for a fight, and I fought like I was. I wasn't, though not from lack of trying on his part. The police were rather upset with me (again, Canada), but made no arrests, until he was caught vandalizing the property with a rock by a colleague because he was so very angry over loosing our little scuffle. He finally got arrested and evicted.

I used to work for the government in a hard to explain role. (it was for the labor department so not that interesting) My job was to head a bay, (we all lived together on a compound, in larger buildings split into bays. My bay was the disciplinary bay, that you went to if you were on the verge of loosing your contract as a last chance opportunity) I had one subordinate who tried to accuse me of attacking him. He didn't realize that I had 40+ witnesses, including some high ranking members placing me away from the scene of the alleged attack, at the alleged time. Instead of me getting arrested as he planed, he was the one who had to be escorted out by our armed security officer.

Guy doing court ordered work service at a church. Girlfriend refuses to pick him up after work. So idiot steals truck key and drives off in church truck. Truck has on doors "Meals on Wheels, church name, church address, church phone number". Police find truck in girlfriend's apartment complex parking lot.

Worked at walmart in AP. Thief's come in and try to take off. Stopped, threatened me with a knife and rushed to their Cadillac. They totalled the cadi by hitting a light pole

I worked in the banking industry for almost 20 years, so dumb crooks came up every one in a while when I did retail. A couple of examples come to mind, though. -I did ATM ops for 2 years. Back then on the old machines, you had to put your checks or money into an envelope if you wanted to deposit them. Since it took a day for the funds to clear, the bank would automatically make the first $100 available as a courtesy. ATM ops would take all the envelopes and systematically count and double check everything later the next day. However, some people used this delay to insert an empty envelope, type in $100 as the deposit amount, and dupe the ATM into giving them money. It happened at least once or twice a week. They thought they were clever. But it never occurred to them that they were using their debit card to do the transactions. That means we knew exactly who they were, where they lived, their accounts, SSNs, all of it. Their fingerprints were on the envelopes, and their faces were on recorded camera feeds. That made it very easy for the cops to track them down. Hooray for ruining your life for $100. -One time, a crook came in pretending to be a businessman. He sat down with the assistant manager and asked for him to print out some documents. What the crook didn't know, however, was that the man he was pretending to be was actually friends with the assistant manager. So the assistant manager happily agreed to go take care of it, and told the guy to just sit and wait in the meantime. Which he did... Despite the cop cars suddenly pulling up outside and plainly visible through the lobby windows, or when the cops came in and secured both exits. The rest of us just stood there and waited to see if he would notice, but he never did. He was still sitting there when the cops walked up and cuffed him. Never underestimate human stupidity.

@rogerramjet6429

Жыл бұрын

Banks are criminal organisations anyway. Fraudulently manufacturing money under the fractional reserve banking system and claiming to loan money to people via the use of promissory notes. All they do I create an account then assign a number to it that equates to a number intended to be borrowed. It's a fraudulent book keeping exercise, that launders fraudulently manufactured funds and turns it into secured collateral, held in trust accounts, when people start paying back money that never existed to begin with. More people should know about how banks truly operate and make them pay for the theft and deception used to gain Billions.

No one: not a single soul: TTS: *Jimmy all your money*

4:19 My best guess is that, since he wasn't owning a weapon and not attacking you, he could claim that he was only begging, not robbing. Possibly could even try to sue someone who tried to get rid of them for assaulting a "poor beggar".

Criminal: "Badass dude with knife" Also Criminal: "Sniveling little child who cries at the first sign of danger" This was your idea you idiot...

7:45 I think that the last things you want to be when you go to jail are nice smelling, freshly moisturized, and pre-lubed.

21:48 you mean he's... He's a.... A _soup_-er hero?

Missed a golden opportunity to call himself a “soup-er hero”

The first criminal (provided he didn’t get caught on security camera’s trying to break into safe or register) should have just pretended he was drunk and fell asleep in the bowling alley.

Anyone who steals phones is a dumb criminal. The serial number gets put in a police database and no carrier will activate it. The best they can do is sell it for parts.

Worked 3rd shift as a janitor at Walmart. Stopped a shoplifter after I went to clean a bathroom to use it, saw them walk out and something dripping from a trashcan. Was a Starbucks canned coffee drink the moron put under the un used can liner.

i know a store which has registers for the stuff and then the drawers are connected to the registers but are made of metal and built into the desk, the cashier doesnt have much space to sit there beacause the desk sorrounds them like 180 degrees so you would have to take the chair and the cashier on it into the small path made behind the desks and then squeeze past then open the drawer and start taking the change as i think the parts of the drawer with bills is locked by something and a lot of people use credit cards there so you wouldnt have that much change to steal, also the coins are in seperate parts of the drawer to make it easier for the cashier to remember which is which without having to look at the small letters on them, another problem for the robber would be that while the main entrance/exit is close there is a guard standing at the side of it so not only would the robber get just a few bucks from robbing one register they would probably be caught trying to escape

6:37 DANGER HIGH VOLTAGE. Not only will this kill you, it will hurt the whole time you're dying. 15:03 Stupid autopilot.

Not so stupid perse, but I know a guy who scored BIG on a pharmacy. All was well for months, but he lived with his GF at her mum's house. Take a guess who got nosey, found the pills, and turned them both into the police.

Anyone else think the muggers didn't respond was because they saw crocodile done de? I still remember the scene of he's got a knife! That's not a knife, THIS is a knife.

I can’t be the only one who thinks of Shifty and Lifty from Happy Tree Friends when watching this.

That last one got me laughing so damn hard 🤣

@Wendy_O._Koopa

Жыл бұрын

He rolled a nat 1 crafting his disguise, okay, these things happen. But once he's been recognized, he somehow rolled a 20 on... something and the NPC thinks it's a joke. Any sane person, after being positively ID'd would either 1) leave, or 2) agree that Yes, it was, in fact a joke, and just take the lowercase L.

Note to self: rob somewhere with a one eyeholed balaclava to throw the sweeney off the scent.

Loved that show

Story two. If they got rid of their letterman coats they could say they were stolen. It would create possible deniability.

he only cut one eye hole in the bag im done looking for stupid people for the night because i'm scared of the ones that are dumber

The second story made me cackle

He just wanted a perch for his woodpecker lmao

I'm trying to work out who the fuck drives a Mercedes older than 2000 in New Zealand. Always thought they wore in the wreckers. We're to poor to repair them lol.

i live in Florida so you here cases of Florida Man everyday

Yeah that Visa card thing I bought a Visa card from the store put $20 on it a couple days later the money disappeared I think that's exactly what they did with that scam

Gold

iPhone is so terrible technically you can use it as a currency because they're so dang expensive I got an Android for the same performance if you have an Android very few times have I actually broken one iPhone the moment I got one it broke never fail never beat it nothing it just broke itself I can't believe iPhone is popular it's like buying an entire vehicle with that much money from an iPhone my goodness I'd be rich

On TV via the show's name. I kid as a retail worker I've seen many from Wic fraud to people stealing Kroger meat and flat-out deny it when it's right in front of them. But the worst I've seen is a guy who stole from Walgreens near my job and stole a bunch of meat and Beer while placing his coat on top of the items thinking that it would work. Yeah it's not like there's sensors that caught him and he got beligerant and ran out the door without the items thankfully not sure if he got caught by the police but that was stupid

@rogerramjet6429

Жыл бұрын

The real crime here, is the BS way you write a bunch of crap, with no F--king punctuation to make it readable. Fk people are getting lazy.

The Waffle House Has Found Its New Host

RRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The waffle house has found its new host

When I was in fast food one night a teenager came to the drive-thru and handed me a credit card which flagged as stolen. I told him the care was stolen. He replied, "That's my mom's card." I said, "Yeah? What's your mom's name?" He just stared at me for several seconds then peeled out.