Ladies, never prioritise anyone who makes you an option.

@GTGinley7

Жыл бұрын

Same with Men :)

@LuvableAF

Жыл бұрын

Thank you. I’m trying to leave someone doing this too me. He prayed upon my weaknesses and has taken everything from me. I was pretty strong before, and in control. This guy hates my guts and is clever enough to make me fall for his lies.

@heyu123

Жыл бұрын

❤❤❤

@briansaiditsoitmustbetrue4206

11 ай бұрын

The EXACT same also applies to BOTH sexes.

@anjascholz3528

3 ай бұрын

❤

My response to the multiple people situation is always: "I don't share men, and I don't share myself among men"

@guisellalosa7557

Жыл бұрын

ILL KEEP THIS IN MIND!

@bs24-7

Жыл бұрын

If you are doing it in three dates you are just plain feeding the man's ego.

@Cantunknowwhatyouknow

Жыл бұрын

💯

@65T-bird

Жыл бұрын

Do you share his money? Or do you pay for everything in the relationship?

@randominternetuser00

Жыл бұрын

@@65T-bird I pay my own way.

I don’t need to even watch this video. Just tell him you’re not into guys dating multiple women and when he wants to date only you, to give you a call. Then go enjoy your life. Problem solved.

@iuliac3087

Жыл бұрын

I agree

@premium_elegant_chic

Жыл бұрын

Before you figure out if you want to date just this one person you should try few and stay with one with whom you feel better not choosing in theory

@Arturo-Chacon

Жыл бұрын

The problem is that you still desire him.

@MS-ns4ki

Жыл бұрын

Had I would have known this I would not have entertained him sL

@Jazzybluemia

Жыл бұрын

I could say that for every single self help book I read, read one read them all 😂but I still read and throughly enjoy 😉

If he's dating multiple people, then he can start looking for one more because he already lost me. That's just how simple it is.

@shairamariecalinawan546

Жыл бұрын

True

@E-plunksna

Жыл бұрын

It was always like that for me, I just used to cut their heads off at once :)) until I met this guy and can't forget him for 1,5 year. Though he doesn't show me that he is dating someone, but I saw some steps of him in FB

@Ben-mx1ip

5 ай бұрын

You're immediately in a relationship with someone you decide to date?

"Don't speed up to the level of the other people you think they're dating. *That's not a race worth winning."*

@anthonypassarelli5534

Жыл бұрын

A race to the bottom, euphemistically speaking

@GTGinley7

Жыл бұрын

Yeah makes sense. I believe that people need to be cooperative and work together to have a comfortable healthy pace with open communication. Never be afraid to share how you feel or you are gonna be resentful later

@Rigoletta53

Жыл бұрын

I do not understand this

@carmenkamberos1156

Жыл бұрын

@Greg Gimley, it’s true! “ Never be afraid to share what you feel OR you are gonna be resentful later.” It happened to me. Regrettable…

@LuvableAF

Жыл бұрын

I never got a first date. Even complaining about it and walking away, will still make me look like a fucking LOSER

If they are dating multiple women Run.. it's only gonna HURT

I haven’t dated in many years, and it’s finally given me the confidence to tell a guy Look, I like you - but I find it’s better to seriously focus on someone to give things a fair chance, so I’m only interested in dating one person at a time. If that doesn’t work for you, too, then we should part ways. If he walks, he just saved me a lot of time & heartache :( I used to be far too insecure. But, if I lose him, I’ll manage. Younger me didn’t know that.

@LuvableAF

Жыл бұрын

I’ve been celibate for 12 years, I’m done waiting for someone to decide I’m worthy enough lol.

@DiddleDangle

Жыл бұрын

@@LuvableAF lol

@2okaycola

5 ай бұрын

You can read two books at once but you mix them up & only remember one. Guys are like books

IM NOT COMPETING..SHE CAN HAVE HIM.

@pamellamougin756

24 күн бұрын

Right ❤

I think within the first 1-3 dates, it is okay. Women do it too. But when you feel it’s serious, you should stop and concentrate on one person. When I find a special person, they really stick out

@andyfranks1575

Жыл бұрын

I agree. Especially considering sex usually happens around date 3 or 4. And sleeping with multiple people (at once) is ratchet behavior IMO. So, naturally, yeah, see where it goes after date 3.

@ineedhoez

Жыл бұрын

No. Takes way longer than that. But i don't engage on any sex before commitment.

@andyfranks1575

Жыл бұрын

@@ineedhoez It doesn't. I dated for years before I met my wife, and three was very standard.

@bs24-7

Жыл бұрын

Not unless they are stupid.

@bs24-7

Жыл бұрын

@andyfranks1575 boy, you dont know that person at all. Good luck on trusting them and walking away with dignity.

Don’t date multiple people and don’t date people who do , focus on one another genuinely , usually by date 3 you know if you want to be in something long term with them , if you can’t date someone solo for 3 dates you have issues . Men or women. Don’t be so thirsty and focus on one person then move on if they don’t fit! Not that HARD and make men wait for sex !!! They aren’t gonna die waiting and if they leave you then oh well that’s ALL he wanted! Don’t cry about it 🎉 let them weed themselves out!! Nobody needs millions of options for three dates!!! People over complicate things.

@pandainpearls

Жыл бұрын

Agreed. I "dated" my now husband for about 6 months. Hanging out together by ourselves before officially being a couple when I told him I liked him more than a friend.

@heyu123

Жыл бұрын

I was chatting to someone and we were scheduled for a date because I only chat and date one person at a time. Then the girl that ghosted him (got her phone stolen) came back a week after and he’s still keen. I told him please go ahead. I don’t choose people who make me an option. I cancelled on 3 dates because I date one at a time. And he couldn’t do the same although he said he dates one person only. Shame. Seems like a decent guy. But I’ll be alright I know my value ❤

Nothing wrong with dating multiple people at the same time, BUT I also don't sleep with people I'm "dating." I only sleep with someone I'm in a relationship with. Big difference.

@srgreen1021

Жыл бұрын

Thank you! Dating vs FWB is very different. We should be allowed to date multiple people at the same time without feeling stuck or guilty

@jennycarolina7883

Жыл бұрын

Agreed! Only I'm waiting till marriage. But I fully agree with the idea

@incassable

Жыл бұрын

please explain the point of dating without sleeping with the person.. You just have first dates ?

@pandainpearls

Жыл бұрын

@incassable Dating is more than one date for me. It could be over several weeks. Personally for me, the minute you sleep with someone you are exclusive/boyfriend and girlfriend etc

@pandainpearls

Жыл бұрын

Same. Personally, the minute I sleep with someone we are together and exclusive.

Know your worth and walk away .

The question is, why are you with someone who is dating multiple women? I think it would be humiliating for me to be there. I am not an option among many. If you want to see if this is gonna work then be f***** serious and invest time in its entirety.

@ineedhoez

Жыл бұрын

Because I am dating other men as well. I'm not sleeping with him because I don't have a commitment. We are simply dating.

@snoozyq9576

Жыл бұрын

You are an option among many though. Until you actually know someone well enough to become serious with them.

I used to say “No promises- Let’s keep it simple”, but Freedom only helps you say goodbye. - Karen Carpenter.

@GTGinley7

Жыл бұрын

WOAH

Another fun idea if you enjoy the early stages of dating a lil too much is to actually enjoy being obsessed, but just change the focus. Whilst the best advice is always to invest in yourself, if you have a tendency towards daydreaming and wanting to know ‘all the things’ lol, is to find a good book, tv show, movie, hobby, sport, academic subject, or random-niche skillset Lol etc and lean into the obsession for a bit. There’s plenty of forums, book clubs, YT channels, communities and fan groups out there to indulge an obsession with, and are often far more interesting than the person you just met. Our brains can wire themselves kinda weird during the limerence phase when we’re starting off a new relationship, so rather than trying to fight your own wiring, learn to work with it, and use it as an opportunity to indulge in an actual fantasy, learn ‘all the things’ about a topic you’re actually interested in studying, and obsessively talk about it with like-minded people

@chicagogyrl4846

Жыл бұрын

But these things are not “Hot” and you can’t have fun (dancing) with them, and they surely don’t kiss you, or bring you flowers!! 😂🤣

@higherloveletters458

Жыл бұрын

Great advice! Yeah don’t judge ourselves if we have the obsession energy, just learn to channel that energy towards healthier things!

@desertrose111

Жыл бұрын

Great insight, replacing a new object of obsession that doesn’t need to be a person and having multiple source for happiness is vital for a balanced life. This way we are not hyper focused on whether he is texting or not, or if he is dating other people. It’s also easier to walk away and uphold boundaries that way.

@copacopa4881

Жыл бұрын

I love that! Thank you for the tip! Actually, I think the only reason I need to connect with people should be to improve myself so that i could help other people in return. So often, I made their goals become my obsession instead of making mine flourish.

@DiddleDangle

Жыл бұрын

I actually like this take. It's supposed to be fun.

Like one of your other videos said, focus on your good daily routines and being the good product and less time on selling it, focus on other legs in the table, that way you attract so many options so stable that you are not worried about what one guy is doing or how many options he has. He doesn’t get to triangulate you with jealousy or insecurity any more.

I took time off from dating to work on my over-investing. I dug down DEEP and worked on my self-value. I invested more into self-care, my passions, and building a healthy, supportive community. I got good at not over-investing in my clients and team (so I can let them go for my health). NOW I feel strong and content enough to temper my enthusiasm about dating. It'll take discipline, but I can do it.

@bs24-7

Жыл бұрын

You do what is best for you. Often times when you are enjoying your life good men and women surround you...much love and respect for in your lifetime ❤️

Simple: Drop them like they‘re hot. Even if they are. 😂 Move on! Have some self-respect!

There are a lot of dating coaches who advise you to date multiple people until you BOTH have agreed to be exclusive which each other... so until I have had that special talk with someone I would not suspect any exclusivity anymore these days...

I had a great 1st date and he was very honest and told me that he may not text me the next day because he has another date. Although I appreciate the honesty, I'm too intentional when dating and even if it was just the 1st date, I'm not competing and I'm not someone's option. Personally, someone who's shopping around, I have it harder to trust. I may be unreasonable to societal standards, but you'll see the real me on the 1st date, and that's loyalty and prioritizing.

@snoozyq9576

Жыл бұрын

You shouldn't expect loyalty from someone you don't even know well yet. People can't commit until they actually know there's something worth committing to

@amyitis

Жыл бұрын

@Snoozy Q that's fair, and understandably my standards are not the norm by any means...having even asked him how he would feel if I was dating others and he stated he wouldn't like it, that's a huge indicator for me that someone can't take the hurt that they give... and that's pretty telling for me. Does it set me for unrealistic standards? Maybe, but there's some things I'm not willing to compromise my own integrity on.

@io100x100

10 ай бұрын

​@@snoozyq9576 The person I was dating didn't tell me he was dating other people (I think it's ok if it's the first date or second) but if u don't say anything even after weeks that you know eachother it's mean. This guy I knew would be sweet and then be cold for a while... and then come back (because I guess he was not interested on the other girl anymore) and then cold again when he was seeing another girl, and then sweet. All in relation to how his other dates were going. I've been through this and it's hell, never again the worst months. How do you feel secure and comfortable with someone like that? Sometimes you can't give the same level of attention to multiple people at the same time, and I don't want to feel like I'm in a roller coaster competition

@Ben-mx1ip

5 ай бұрын

You want someone to commit to you after 1 date?

@lizh1970

Ай бұрын

Men dont like it when they arrange dates and they think you are dating other people simple ​@@amyitis

I went on a couple of dates with a guy who, when I’d asked about recent relationships, told me his prior to dating me he’d openly dated three women, simultaneously. I said that was fine but not for me. We’re still friends over a decade later.

@bs24-7

Жыл бұрын

Don't have sex in 5 minutes you fool. Make him work for it or it usually doesn't work and the woman was fully commited..you young idiots don't get it...make him respect you fool and her to respect him. And let him know that you are better than that.

@richardvilla2303

Жыл бұрын

​@michaelhowington4205 That holding to your boundaries is great and that people who are polyamorous can still be great friends even if you wouldn't do their relationship style with them

@Baheieujlsksnen

Ай бұрын

I don't even wanna be friends w such a man.

This discussion is so great and useful. Thank you guys, you're such a wonderful team ❤

Obsess about the relationship in relation to you- so if it's not good then what are you truly obsessing over if he brings you value? Totally needed this

This video is GOLD! Thank you so much all of you!!! What a great team!!! ♥

In theory the advice is great. But in practice, in my experience when you try to tell the person you are dating (in my case, men) that you are not comfortable getting intimate until you are exclusive, they will fake exclusivity. When you realize something doesn't feel right and place boundaries or slightly delay intimacy, that's when they suddenly vanish into thin air, after declaring their profound interest and putting incredible efforts until few days earlier. While it is true that it is not a race worth winning, this repeated behavior has had a huge impact on my self-esteem and my ability to trust a new partner.

@nikkiknack

Жыл бұрын

I've had this happen to me too

@okaySam

Жыл бұрын

Leveraging sex for exclusivity feels manipulative from a male perspective. I get where you are coming from and I personally don't date multiple women continuously but it's a tricky situation for both parties.

@DiddleDangle

Жыл бұрын

It all comes down to: are you better than them having multiple women? Probably not. You need a reality check and to see things how they truly are. If this man really has options like that, he won't want to cut that off for someone who is not that exciting or even bland. You need to stand out especially if you're not using bedroom skills to stand out. You're at a serious disadvantage so you're going to have to work way harder than the other girls he's with or just target men who don't have as many options.. but of course no woman would do that. lol.

@queenj.8i895

8 ай бұрын

And this is why God is wise and tells us to wait until marriage. Solves all those problems. Pray & ask Him to guide your life. God bless 🩵

See what happens with time. No obsession. It's easy to say but hard when it's actually happening to u, u start obsessing correct but if u are drunk(obsessed), u need to hear it from someone sober. 😉 So you don't need to prioritize someone on already present priorities of your life. Lessons learnt!

I’d give them a miss if they were dating (and being intimate with) others If someone is not prepared to hold your hand in public they are wanting to look available to others.

@bs24-7

Жыл бұрын

I don't get why men push sex...use your f ing logic you claim you have

@lunar686

Жыл бұрын

Lol I’d do the opposite, but I found dating fun and the experience is useful to work out what you want...and yes 💯, absolutely they want to look available to others...whilst your in their presence....gross....like nothing wrong if your trying to work out dating and having the opportunity to create experiences with different people, but that should never involve treating someone disrespectfully and being dishonest about something as simple as presently being on a date....someone like that isn’t worth knowing, let alone dating

Someone somewhere advised and it kind of makes sense that at the beginning of dating, date multiple people and when you're ready for a relationship 3months into dating, choose the one and get agreement to be mutually exclusive. Either side should not invest too early until the mutual agreement.

@Nina-ur3ld

Жыл бұрын

Yes i also heard it from a dating coach that it is good to date multiple people and have some options

@Anthony-dj4nd

Жыл бұрын

Ewwwww....

@komakino0

Жыл бұрын

how can you choose a person when you date multiple people? Our energy and emotions are limited, after date 3-4 things start changing if you like a person, what happens to the others then? Some advices out there are practically good but in theory, considering human psychology, they don't work. I really hope as humans we go through a harder awakening now because there is so much ego and fear based tactics we are fed with.

@prettypoppin_552

11 ай бұрын

​@@komakino0You're making it seem more difficult than it really is. And I think part of the problem is you're assuming people get emotionally attached to every person they date. What happens is you stop seeing the others and move forward with the one you want

@io100x100

10 ай бұрын

​@@prettypoppin_552 ​@prettypoppin_552 then it's a waste of time... why would I want to date you if I feel like I'm in a competition, compiting with 3 other girls and seeing your level of intrest change in relation to how the dates with the other girls are going. That's already a turn off to me. 3 months it's a lot of time, I'm not wasting it with someone that it's 20% interested in me when I have 5 other guys who are asking me out and are 100% interested. I'm not saying I want to commit after 1 week, but at least give a fair chance to a person at the time

Easier said than done. You are giving a rational answer to a emotional situations. It doesn't work that way. If you don't feel anything towards that person than it's very easy to be rational.

@ineedhoez

Жыл бұрын

Then you need to heal. You should not be that invested in someone you don't know

@snoozyq9576

Жыл бұрын

Well yea its a good thing to be rational. If your emotions are preventing you from acting rational that doesn't sound like a good situation to be in.

@rehanashinwari8086

3 ай бұрын

That is a 100% true.

Thank you guys. Such a brilliant, real & relatable video, and super helpful to me & many I’m sure. Love the group discussion dynamic too, and having the lovely Audrey’s opinion as a woman.

If a woman is scared that she'll invest too much too fast, that just means that she tends to go all in when she feels intense attraction. Many men do the same. It just requires self-control in a way that you don't stop looking at things with an objective lens, rather than only looking at them with an emotional lens. Enjoy yourself, but don't stop looking at their values and their goals and make sure they match yours. Your attraction to them isn't always due to their good character, so you can't stop looking for that. Also, you need to have your own values and goals determined for yourself already in order to make it much easier to look out for those things, even during an intense attraction.

I date people one at a time. It’s not for everyone but the man for me will think the same way. One person in my life at a time. I don’t want to compete with others or be compared to others. It’s bs

@amyitis

Жыл бұрын

👏👏👏 same....it's such a rare mentality.... we're not competing and we're not someone's option...

@5erytfshfjo97r7dygkpu

10 ай бұрын

I think the same way.

@the1stmetalhead

8 ай бұрын

Comparison can be from past partners as well.

@bystandersarah

7 ай бұрын

@@the1stmetalhead thankfully I have no lingering sentiment for past relationships

@the1stmetalhead

7 ай бұрын

@@bystandersarah good for you. But I've seen partners who do that. The majority of men and women have this insecurity where they feel threatened by their partners exes or even feel threatened by their partner getting to spend a bit too much intimate time with opposite gender people. I myself am working on my issues and trying to be like you where I would not give a shot about someone's past or current situation even in the slightest.

This came in time ! Thank you Matthew !

Great video. I see that a lot of comments are around dating people who can't commit. I truly recommend a book written by a German therapist Stefanie Sthal "Yes, no, maybe. How to overcome fear of commitment". The book talks about how to recognise when people are afraid of intimacy which is described as an emotional response to past traumas that is more common than we think. After reading it you will be able to tell if the person you date has it or not, moreover, you may discover you are also afraid of intimacy by choosing this type of people as that can often happen. The author also gives you tools to work on this issue. For me it was a game changer. Also therapy helps heaps!

@DiddleDangle

Жыл бұрын

This is not valid for the majority of scenarios. So many times, women do not see their behaviors as being the reason why they are not successful in dating. They want to blame the other person but when it keeps happening over and over and over, maybe it's time to look inward and take some responsibility. A big part of dating is being better than the alternative. Are you really that special? Most people aren't. Maybe your standards are inflated and so is your ego. Social media basically ruined y'all.

You’re the best Matthew, It’s so comforting listening to you 🥺

You will know where you stand in early dating by how your date reacts/responds when you take things slow. If s/he is interested in having casual sex and you want a relationship, you can save yourself a lot of time and emotional turmoil. Men and women are biologically wired differently: men detach after having sex because they release testosterone whereas women bond because they release oxytocin. Stop idealizing your date and putting him/her on a pedestal at an early stage of dating. No one you hardly know deserves that amount of importance.

@jendrizzyy

Жыл бұрын

Men are not wired different after sex. What a load of toss

@phizzy123

Жыл бұрын

@@jendrizzyy actually biologically i think this is pretty true on average. however i’m sure if a man is actually in love with a woman and actually cares about her then obviously he’s not going to be detaching after having sex with her. the both of them would be looking to connect deeper through sex, that’s a given.

@TokyoBlue587

Жыл бұрын

Testosterone doesn’t “make men detach”, there’s no “detachment hormone”, if a man tells you that, it’s B.S. Also, both men & women have oxytocin.

@v9b23j

Жыл бұрын

@@TokyoBlue587 Yes, both men & women release oxytocin during and after intercourse. In men, the plasma oxytocin level increases markedly after ejaculation, followed by a release of testosterone. "The way chemicals are released in the brain during intercourse is very different in men and women," Washington Post reporter Laura Sessions Stepp, the author of 'Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both' (Riverhead Books, 2007), told Marie Claire magazine in 2007. 'In women, oxytocin is released. It's a chemical that makes women want to nurture their young and stay close. Men get a huge jolt of testosterone, which suppresses oxytocin, and that's nature's way of saying, 'Leave the nest and go sire offspring somewhere else.' So when women think they can have sex and walk away just like guys do, they're having to suppress thousands of years of evolution that tells them to cuddle." Source: Love Drug? Oxytocin's Tender Effects Questioned By Stephanie Pappas, Live Science. com published February 12, 2011

@natural3362

Жыл бұрын

Well men release testosterone all the time. Wtf

Don't want to get intimate with all those other people. No hurry.

I’ve met him years and years ago at his event in London. He’s good at advice! I always take it ❤❤❤

IF a Guy thinks he can come back, they will for sure taste their own game, in the process thinking he got me, but he will be played all around, and on and on after that.

Finally some REAL talk about relationships...none of that baby stuff...thank you👏👏👏

Wow this content is so valuable. Dont over value them and recognize that you are obsessing over what you are creating in your head.

Thank you very much,i had to hear that!❤ It is a life lesson to me!

That front ending Trust scamming is Very Real...and really feeds on people with real feelings...and empathic...if you are this sensitive...which is very real and natural...it is sometimes nearly impossible to discern the authenticity of the other. Logically it seems like it would be stupid to fall for it...and as much as the mind can sit here and try to disect it mentally...the true feeling of being close to someone...people can emulate and manipulate... and start a malevolent relationship with someone...The sad part is that people are here commenting about all the fear there is between people...and pointing fingers a little...Early dating is a good place to ask solid questions and know really in detail what you want in a relationship with yourself. Thank you.

Are you obsessed? What do you do with your time? Nothing ? That’s where the problem is. Fill your time with great thing and obsession will fly away from your mind

thank you Matthew and co ! very enlightening

Consider doing a segment about thoughts of dating in 40s whether you believe that people become more difficult to date and overcome challenges with additional baggage of past failed relationships with self or partners.

Excellent advice. Thank you for sharing this video.

I actually think that the concept of abdicating responsibility when obsessing over someone in early dating was an actual eye opener!!! And not actually because I need it in early dating (I’m quite good in that area) but because I think it applies to any stage of a relationship. Even if someone turns out to be important, thinking they’re solely responsible for your happiness is the easy way out. Which consequently makes it easier to be less scared of getting hurt…

@bs24-7

Жыл бұрын

They are not responsible. You just qre stupid if you ever find someone. I would advise that you be an advocate for your self. Not jumping on every man that comes along..and start charging for sex then. Otherwise you better realize that you

@bs24-7

Жыл бұрын

If you want marriage and a family and a relationship that last. Have more respect for yourself and you health. Instead of sleeping with everyone. You will end up without a decent man that respects you...that's all ...I don't care how good at anything you think you are.

@bs24-7

Жыл бұрын

If your just so horned up, you want to do what they want. You better be getting exactly what you want. Otherwise you are stupid.

@bs24-7

Жыл бұрын

It's how to et man to adore you 101.

@bs24-7

Жыл бұрын

Get a man 101

When your in play mode, you and other person will date multiple people because you don’t care yet. You just want to play. When you want a LTR, when you want substance, you want someone willing to focus to really get to know you inside and out and visa versa. Monogamous focus, is the only way to really know someone. I played at the VIP level. If you have any awareness, sooner or later, you will wake up on a Sunday am and go WTF, this sucks. I need more. I want love. I’m in LTR mode. Here, I’m not controlling, possessive or jealous but I don’t share in this mode. If they are not on board, move on. Love is all.

So you’re telling me there’re people out there who are capable of focusing on more than one person at the time without being overstimulated? Like how? I’m not able to split my focus and energy, my life is too busy with fun anyways. Don’t these people have an actual life or what? I once tried the dating apps, and literally a week later I got drained because I didn’t know who I was talking to. How can dating multiple people be attractive to people? How can you do it?????? 😳

I did all of these mistakes. Fell for 2 Narcissists : [. Guess I still need to learn...

Advice regarding scammers is spot on. Good topic for a stand alone vid.

Exactly what I needed to hear from you guys at this hour to stop myself from giving my power away to the "possibly great".♥️😇🙏

Thank you. I needed this message. I don’t have anyone I can talk about stuff like this with so I really appreciate videos like this.

This was great! Thank you for sharing.😊

Wow I love that! I don't know who'll or how'll they'll be in week 52. I only know how they're treating me today. Great perspective!

In a similar situation where I'm dating a guy who isn't long out of a long term relationship and still dating around. But we both feel a connection, but I did the usual thing of overthinking and having expectations way too early on. I need to just give it more time and see how it goes. If in a few months it's not bringing you what you need, then you have the choice to walk away.

@carmenkamberos1156

Жыл бұрын

@S song, hi, people who just came out of a relationship are not healed to start a new one. They tend to form “ Rebound” relationships to forget the pain with the last one. It’s very risky to engage with them with transparency . Wisdom and discernment necessary. I know a guy who married quickly after ending a long relationship but was never happy, didn’t heal from it, always wanting to go back to that girl…and/or wanting freedom to more dating; got divorced. Too much damage and pain for him and the wife and child. Beware out there… Be sure the person you’re dating is free if emotional attachments.

@Sheb, hi. You have a sweet tender heart. No, loved never ends, that’s why there’s never a happy ending, because love never ends. You are young and a life full of surprises await for you. Like you I had a sweetheart 50 years ago, I will always treasure in my heart. I’m married to someone else, and have grandchildren now. Relationships sometimes get complicated, but if you have your values, self respect, dignity , and think maturely there’s no reason to get fooled by no one. Lots of luck in your new relationship and May God guide you always in the right direction, give you strength and happiness. You deserve it! Blessings

Don’t be the pick me person. Know your worth (men/women).

I believe in meritocracy. Let the best man win. Why on Earth would I curb his chances at finding true love and compatibility when I wouldn’t want the same thing done to me? I tell a man that he has every right to see others because I want to know that if he wants to date me or marry me, he chose me because I was the best. The last thing I want is to marry a guy, love wanes and he is now trying to divorce me because he found the girl he really wanted.

@msgirl01

Жыл бұрын

Yes!

@camellia8625

Жыл бұрын

You do you

@Tam974eva

2 ай бұрын

But if he's talking to other people that means he's not the right man for YOU to begin with. Youre testing the waters bc u haven't found ur match or felt enough of a spark to exclusively talk to him.

@rbrz

Ай бұрын

what if he marries you because you were the best at that time, and after two years he finds someone better and he still divorces you? Love should grown and be taken care of not "won".

ohhh I was just waiting for this topic.. !!! thanks My Dear Matt and his wonderful Team.. thank you so much to feed our brain everyday to learn more.. and grow more.. !! love you.. Shahrin ;)

I don't mind him dating other people. Cause I'm dating other people too. As long as I'm not married, I am single . I can date whoever I want and so can he. It doesn't bother me at all. If we are meant to be married, eventually, we will be. If not, whatever, bye.

Be ready to walk away

I come from a culture where this dating multiple people is not a thing. You date one person and if it doesn't work out, you move on. Exclusivity is implied automatically

@michaelh.9839

Жыл бұрын

What is your culture?

@KristnaSaikiaBillFortuneEagle

2 ай бұрын

American culture ?

Omg such a useful video. Thank you 🙏

If he is dating multiple people in the early stages -fine. It's good to take some time to assess who is your best match in terms of personality and values which is something that usually takes a while for you to find out. However if dating includes being intimate with all of these women -his choice but I'm out . Simples.

@user-mb9jx5tx9y

Жыл бұрын

What if he expresses to you that he has someone he’s interested in/likes but also wants to get to know you too bc they like you too. Should I be okay with that ?

As Soon As I see A Guy doesn't want to respond to my messages he is OUT for GOOD!!

Thank you for this!

Oh my God! I really needed this video. Thank you to all of you, for especially what Audrey said.

I see nothing wrong with dating with multiple in the beginning before starting a romantic relationship. My friend picks 3 men, and give them all 3 first dates. She recently did it and the first batch was all eliminated, now she found someone she really vibes with. I realize as a woman I am not charity. However you should not be sleeping with all of them, and not telling each person you slept with someone else. That's mess up! Which is why you shouldn't sleep while doing this. Also, dating 1 person before being official will waste more time and hurts you faster because your investing too much into them.

@proudestmommy

7 ай бұрын

THIS

"You're drunk." This made me laugh out loud😄 but it's spot on.

This was freaking awesome

Good piece to advice ❤

Easy. He's Dating. You KEEP Dating. That's what Dating is...meeting people until you find the ONE. Your Exclusive when your in a Relationship.

@phizzy123

Жыл бұрын

finally someone gets it! i’m a bit confused at these comments but i guess people are no longer dating with the intent of marriage anymore, just looking to sit around and waste each other’s time. i will date multiple people until the best man for the job presents himself.

@CrystalDatingCoach

Жыл бұрын

@@phizzy123 Exactly. You become Exclusive when your in a Relationship.

@Jen281

Жыл бұрын

Because many times it’s not just dating. People start sleeping together early and that’s when it’s shady to be dating multiple people.

@missNCW

Жыл бұрын

Yeah they figured that out, that’s not the problem. The problem is they WANT to be exclusive, and there’s nothing wrong with that. They’re allowed to be disappointed because the man doesn’t want the same.

@missNCW

Жыл бұрын

@@phizzy123 you’re confused because you’re looking down on people’s feelings instead of listening. They WANT to be exclusive. It’s also funny that you’re talking about ‘dating with intent to marry’ like you’re the rare woman who wants that. The women who want to be exclusive, are the ones who tend to want marriage. You however, are encouraging dating multiple people but acting like that’s the same as dating with intent to marry aka courtship. Guess what? You’re the one who sounds like she wants to waste time. Not the women wanting a REAL courtship and to be the only one he’s courting. THAT is dating with intent to marry. Not saying around like you’re on a game show. ‘The best man’, yeah it doesn’t work like that. And women aren’t allowed to do that in the same way as men. Which also contradicts your traditional view of dating for marriage. Dating multiple men is not traditional and it’s not dating for marriage.

"probably the most relatable thing I've ever read in my life", hahah Audrey is so friggin cute and open and such an asset to the discussion every time

If you don’t invest time and energy from the beginning it won’t develop into something grate and won’t last if you ignore it considering not great enough 😢

Great advice

Here’s a crazy idea…don’t give up the cookie until they’ve actually committed. Not pretend to commit, not promise to commit, but actually commit. However, if you WANT to give them the cookie, then that’s a decision you’ve made and you own…including any consequences. If you feel that giving the cookie is a high risk high reward game, then that’s also a decision you’ve made. Accept the risk and the consequences when they happen.

Very helpful!

You have to compete, just as men have to compete. If you didn't ask for his commitment, there is no reason for him not to date multiple women until he finds the best fit for him. He wants to meet up on Tuesday but you're not free until Thursday, you expect him to sit on his hands until then when another woman he might have an interest in is free? Because that's what dating is: Getting to know someone to determine if they're a good fit long-term. If you're fit, feminine, fun, don't make his life harder, you're gonna be leagues ahead of other women that might only embody a few of those. You're competing and make no mistake, dating is a blood sport.

@cherrylane79

Жыл бұрын

Dating someone or multiple people. Okay. Sleeping with everyone of them, that's not my cup of tea. I'm not feminine ( I hate that stereotype ), not always fun (that's life) and definitely not fit and I don't compete with anyone. Otherwise I'm a good person, intelligent, caring, smart, etc. If I'm not good enough, then I can be happy on my own and I have my friends and hobbies. PS. Dating sites and apps are brutal.

@csx6910

Жыл бұрын

​@@cherrylane79 Remaining alone is definitely an option. For those who don't want to be though, they have to be what the person _they_ want also wants. You said you're not feminine but that's a large part of what most men want: something compliments them, not something that competes with them. And being a good person, intelligent, and caring are all good qualities that most men want in a woman as well but without the physical element, the glue, it is the difference between a friend or a significant other. There are trade-offs. Not every 'box' has to be ticked off being exactly what the person wants but there's an expectation of a certain standard. I said fit, but that doesn't necessarily mean being a fitness model; it might be a woman that is the appropriate weight for her height that is only slightly more athletic than the average woman who is also an appropriate weight for her height but that slight difference can propel her beyond her competition. Same goes for the rest of the metrics. And, of course, women have expectations as well that a guy who wants to be with them has to meet. A guy that doesn't want to be masculine, doesn't want to work, doesn't want to focus on providing and protecting his family or looking to the future is gonna be at a severe disadvantage to a guy that is all that.

@the1stmetalhead

8 ай бұрын

⁠@@cherrylane79 isn’t sleeping with your date a part of dating? Why are the people in comments shaming a man or woman from enjoying sex when clearly they haven’t put a ring on that finger and haven’t made any kind of verbally or written exclusive arrangement with the other person. The whole point of dating is to figure out if the person is good for you in all aspects be it physical, emotional, sexual, financial, social, etc. And if you spend time figuring that stuff out with only one person then you end up wasting a lot of time. That’s why people date a lot of people at the same time. And sex being a part of dating happens naturally or is either tested to see if the said person is sexually compatible.

When do you think it is a good time within a relationship to start thinking about the future with someone, and especially to have that conversation with them. When does it turn from “let’s see where this goes” to “okay, let’s do this, let’s prep for the future.”

@musicsbestfriend12

Жыл бұрын

Also where does the line get drawn between obsessing and over thinking about someone, and acknowledging compatibility ? Does this make sense?

@amberpalmer3708

9 ай бұрын

@@musicsbestfriend12these are good questions!! Did he ever end up making a video on them?

Basically, you advise people to not fall in love in order to not get hurt. But people just fall in love, and love is obsession and addiction, bcs that's how the brain chemistry works. If someone dated three other people at a time, I would just not date them.

Great video, thx.

Brilliant reply from man in black ❤️🙏

Not everything that glitters is gold

STEPHEN!!!! "Did anyone put the concept of infinity?" 🤣🤣🤣

You guys are so awesome ! This is a real good session , so helpful !

I thought he was rejecting me. My friends tied to tell me he just wanted me for sex. Yet, now that time has gone by, I realize that the reason why we didn't establish a relationship is that he never made me a priority. He never had time to express his loving feelings for me. I kept telling him how he couldn't keep me happy. Then, when I evaluated what good things he brought to my life, I let him know and he reached out to me with a gracious tone. I was so angry for what I didn't like about him. He kept looking for a girl out there, but not because he didn't like me, but because I didn't like him. Maybe he just wanted to set things up to get me to feel regret not having him, but to hurt me because he felt hurt.

Yo, this works on the other side too. There’s nothing more unattractive than people who compete with anyone, because it always ends up in ambushes, and if you have to ambush someone into a relationship with you…are you really in a relationship? Nope!

it's funny, in Chris Rock's special the other day, he said he can't remember all the women he's had sex with but he can remember every single woman he's held hands with.

I really,really deeded this 👏

OMG thank you!!!!

Run and don't look back .

People dating multiple people at once arent interested in a relationship. They are looking for self validation. A healthy relationship isnt about validation, rather a friendship.

@snoozyq9576

Жыл бұрын

Or they're just trying to find the right person before they settle down. Don't know this is so wrong.

You know, everyone gets a smile when takes a look at a flower, however no one has idea how the flower feels. To me I fear love, because because I have so much to give! So guess.......

@bs24-7

Жыл бұрын

Hold off on full on sex. Just fool around little by little. This is safe and you get know them.

The problem is that many men (people) have their options open but don't tell you. Once you find that out, might be too late. I wish people could be more honest and transparent about what they really want. So don't be too quick to have sex. You will find out soon what someone really wants from you. I can't imagine ever being with a person who would have sex with me but would hide everything else. Be wise, wait.

@incassable

Жыл бұрын

Are you transparent with men ? Do you tell them with how many men you slept with ? Do you tell them how many guys are sending you DMs and invite you to dates ?

@joanofarcxxi

Жыл бұрын

@@incassable You don't get it.

@incassable

Жыл бұрын

@@joanofarcxxi Please enlighten me :D

@joanofarcxxi

Жыл бұрын

@@incassable Figure it out yourself like a mature adult. You are going to need it.

@incassable

Жыл бұрын

@@joanofarcxxi passive agressive shit works on little boys only my dear ;-)

Thank you. I needed a sober person to tell me this!!😂😂

As long as there's no sex involved then multiple people being dated is great and a good way to have fun plus eventually find a mate. With sex? - off-the-charts scary.

@user-mb9jx5tx9y

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely

11 months down the road I am watching this movie I can imagine love life book 📚 it must be full of wisdom and insight

It seems like overvaluing someone in early dating can stem from being emotionally starved especially if you participate in the hook up culture.