I’ll never forget when my 14 year old looked at me and said: “mom I’ve never seen you rest, and it’s makes me feel I am doing something negative if I do.” Broke my heart into pieces. And lessons never stopped, this kid has helped me learn more about myself than any tragedy I’ve been through! ❤

@beastshawnee

3 ай бұрын

I had that same conversation with my own daughter. NOW I am taking and making time to be non productive some days. It feels weird tho.

I was raising 3 boys as a single parent like Sarah and would like to share one of my favorite activities, jello wars. I worked in a hospital as a dietary aid and even though jello has an endless shelf life after being made the health department insists on it being dumped every 3-4 days. I would collect a couple gallons a day in gallon zip lock bags in addition to making tons at home that i bought on sale. (Knowing someone working in a nursing home is another way to get lots for free). They would wear their raggiest clothes fur yo possible staining, they could each invite 1 friend and we would head to a relatively secluded spot at the river. Each would be given one bag of jello and turned loose to just pummel each other with handfuls of jello. There were only 2 rules: 1. You cant hit the mom. If the mom hets any jello on her everything stops and we return home. 2. The only way to get a new bag is to gurn in the old one to the mom. I would be sitting in my lawn chair beside the coolers filled with bags of jello and a few snacks, and my cold drink and a book, relaxing while they went nuts for a couple hours and once they ran out of jello they would jump in the river to get all remnants of slime washed off. When we got home i didnt have to clean up any jello that had been tracked in as would have happened if they had done it in the yard. They were happy and have repeatedly relived those stories as adults so i know those are good memories. And i was able to completely relax while still allowing them the freedom to be the maniacs they wanted to be.

Ladies, stop sleeping with and living with men who wont commit to you first. FIRST.

@dabd8175

Жыл бұрын

Females don't think with their brains my guy 😂

@andrea6053

Жыл бұрын

Men stop sleeping with and living with women you haven’t committed to FIRST. There, fixed it.

@sometimesising1016

Жыл бұрын

@dabd8175 men think with their dicks. No room to throw stones.

@marievr7283

Жыл бұрын

​​​@@dabd8175u must be one lonely creature just taking up valuable space

@fernleafmedia

Жыл бұрын

Don't do it before your'e married. True marriage before God is true commmitment.

To the last caller. I remember when i was in college i moved in with my BF and he would leave clothes on the floor and it caused so much resentment in me. Those things ARE important. He also felt it was « no big deal ». I was bad at communicating my needs and eventually we just couldn’t stand each other. Lesson is - communicate and decide if her picture and yours can be aligned. Good luck!

@kingasif9265

Жыл бұрын

I don’t think that was the reason why you guys broke up. What was the real reason?

@OM-or3im

Жыл бұрын

@@kingasif9265 I’d say poor communication - neither one of us shared our needs, vision, or were fully authentic with each other. Now, i was 22 when i met him and he was 27, so i definitely am not mad at myself or anything. It was just a lesson on importance of communication and caring about the other person’s feelings on general. I am very happy about not living with a messy person though. My bf now is pretty much a clean freak, like myself :)

I’m graceful with the wife. She grew up in a family where every conversation was a confrontation. I help her by letting her talk long enough when she flies off the handle to hear herself. My silence usually is a trigger to her to slow down and have access and reminder that I’m on her side.

@Refiningforge

Жыл бұрын

God bless you and your wife.

@cieramahinalani1944

Жыл бұрын

❤yes thanks for being so kind to your wife, I am also that woman, it's a nightmare feeling misunderstood our whole lives

@show_me_your_kitties

11 ай бұрын

The wife? Not YOUR wife? Weird choice of words but you do you.

@RedeemedRogueMolecules

11 ай бұрын

@@show_me_your_kitties thanks. I will. We’re one so ‘the’ applies in the colloquial just marvelously. You’re hereby released of this burden.

@show_me_your_kitties

10 ай бұрын

@@RedeemedRogueMolecules I said what I said.

Know something… I just came back from a third world country…. No mom had to take breaks from their kids. Unstructured play, tons of freedom for kids to roam I nature, school is not all about standardized tests, life is drastically different. Modern life really hurts us whether we like to accept or not. I went with my kids. We were burned out. Once we got to this small village, life was perfect. We washed our clothes by hand. We had enough to eat from nature around us. It’s incredible. It’s more family centered. It’s not like the USA where everything is grind grind grind. I’m looking into moving outside of the USA to this third world country. Life is better.

@jefdby

2 ай бұрын

Where (which country) did you visit?

@slowroastedmarshmallow9226

25 күн бұрын

Wow, thank u for sharing this. Hard for me to grasp that Reality. I like some aspects of modern life, but maybe it could be more like 80 / 20. more Traditional and only bring in Modern things to add impact.

She should break up with that guy. He's enjoying a commitment-free relationship and whenever there needs to be a serious discussion he threatens to leave and blames her. It sounds like he has a very "It's all fun and sex" perspective and he doesn't care thay she feels unsafe and unanchored.

I just discovered him. And have watched every video I can get my hands on. Now I want how books!! He is helping me so much!! I’ve been the lowest I’ve ever been in my life. Thank you for helping others.

@Bubbles-qh7ez

Жыл бұрын

Same. I love his advice

As a massage therapist, I have spent my career caring for Mom's like your second caller. Your advice is spot on and is the key to the end generational trauma of depleted Mother's. "your body feels it" yesss!!! I try to explain to the "I can't relax, I have to be busy all the time" Mom's, getting a massage for them is literally practicing receiving, practicing a calm state...being busy is many people's drug of choice.

@rungeon83

3 ай бұрын

This oddly hits home for me, I'm 39 (next month) and I'm like a tightly wound up spring, I've had many relationships(those poor people) where they have me on edge all the time, my love language is phsyical affection, I'm not talking sex, I'm talking back strokes etc, I find it almost impossible to snap or fly of the handle after just 5 mins of my back being stroked, I destress and feel calm enough to tackle my problems rationally and not from a place of "AARGHHHH". Of course I can't imagine what it's like to be a mother, and sadly not a dad(I don't trust myself to have kids just yet as I don't want them to have this version of me and I'm worried about passing on my traits to them) however I really love what you said about "getting a massage for them is literally practicing receiving" Soooo true!

To Sara in Houston, this advice is excellent. I've also noticed that something that's incredibly helpful for younger kids is to give them the freedom to schedule their entire day (meals and snacks included, with your supervision of course) and hold them accountable to sticking to it for the entire day. It gives them a great sense of agency and improves their executive functioning capabilities over time without making you the bad guy for ensuring they make healthy choices. Hope this helps. :)

My parents finally divorced when I was 18. Mom left 4 days after I turned 17. It was 16 years too late for that to have happened. They should have divorced years prior. Their disfunction deeply impacted my brothers and I, in ways we're just now learning and dealing with, and we're all in our 40's. Having said all that, I'm also extremely thankful in different ways that they toughed it out as long as they did. My dad wasn't a weekend dad. The love and protection that came from that, especially as a the only girl, was huge and my dad is one of my best friends. My parents only ever came together, united, when one of us were in danger. I know without a doubt that our lives would have been much harder, potentially much more dangerous, in different if they hadn't toughed it out for 21 years. I've said all that to say this... I wish they had divorced earlier AND I'm thankful they didn't.

@jefdby

2 ай бұрын

Oof. So what to do. I left when my kids were 11, 9, and 6. I wish I didn't have to, but the kids all now say it was the best decision.

Being a teacher and a mom of three must be extremely difficult and stressful. She must love children to a different level than most humans, cuz my NS would never allow me to do so. I commend her for executing and enduring such tough jobs. 😅🙏✨

Deloney is such a gift! Compassionate, graceful, and practical wisdom. I love how he says he doesn’t know anyone who had zero reservations and yet made the commitment to see it through- I love that reminder of the value of commitment in the context of relationships ❤️❤️

Other moms doing I felt that divorce comment. My mom is been divorced three times in my life. When I was two from my father. Again at 13 from my stepdad and again at 16 from my other stepdad. I was more hurt from the second divorce because I had more time for the relationship of my parents to solidify. As for my actual parents I've never really known them together I've only known them separate. That was a lot easier for my kid brain to play comprehend.

This really just set me free bc I understand how it can be as the middleman between parents. Hope everything goes well for him & I'm glad he chose to share ❤

@ThePestilentDefiler

Жыл бұрын

I was that middleman/mediator at the age of 20 it was so hard and just ended up with me hating them. I was in the process of moving out and it sort of ramped that process way up and when i did i pretty much was low contact with them both. Which was so opposite of what i wanted. I wanted to go visit my parents and hang out with them like the family we once were but that was gone. It tore me apart and i fell into panic attacks daily and nightly. I would lay in bed clutching my chest in tears thinking that i may be dying of a heart attack. The physical pain brought on by the mental distress was unbearable. Ive since healed from that and my relationships are better with my parents but it really did a toll on me and shaped me in a way that i did become stronger i believe. Im currently in a separation with my wife while we have a young child and through experienceing what my parents went through firsthand i am prepared and making my way through the separation rather gracefully. Its tough but i will make it through and im much further along emotionally than even my parents are to this day. I dont want to give thanks for what they threw me into but im glad i had the strength to stand above it.

New to your channel and the number of times you say "your body feels" makes me so happy!!! We so often disassociate from our physical being, then wonder why we have chronic pain!!

Amazing show! You’ve helped me so much!

Great show , so much insight plus so kind

The divorce advice about ages of children and stages of life….those perspectives were incredibly helpful. Thank you.

The advice to the second caller was fantastic❤

Is she ASKING for that feedback? .................THANK YOU.

With the first one: John is totally right and it’s something that I had to learn the hard way. My baby sister has hit a rough patch with our mom and I’ve had to double down on: You are all adults. I’m not gonna pick sides. Ya’ll handle it on your own, but I still love you SO much! It’s helped.

There are unchangeable situations / fallouts- and no one else is responsible but the person it concerns.

Raising my 7 year old grandson, I tell him I'm not available at certain times. My husband does not interact as well, I need to take ownership of what I allow.

This one was good, I understand the want to “Fix it”

That IS a great song! 🎶 “America, go get Kelly Clarkson tattoos” 😂🤣

Sometimes men or women can be passive aggressive and choose not to do things on purpose, even if they know it's going to upset the other person because they have an internal issue that has nothing to do with the significant other... it's also a maturity issue that the other partner has to suffer through because they may have an idea of what they want the relationship to look like but they can't compete with the person's immaturity to commit to the relationship whole heartedly... both need to breath and communicate better...

My parents divorce when I was 9 years old and I honestly believe it would be a whole lot harder on most people if parents wait to divorce until their kids are grown. Whether you're talking about 22 or 46 I think that'll be a whole lot harder than divorce as a child. I am referencing divorce without any physical abuse period or any intentional abuse or neglect I definitely think it'll be a very different story if there was a piece or neglect in the picture

Ty

Parents STOP staying together for the kids. They already know!

Sara/kids home for the summer: LOVE AND LOGIC INSTITUTE is a great resource.

Ok, phew. I spent the entire last call thinking he said he was 20 and was 31. And they’re dating six years… then reminded and heard it: 28. Thank you.

For the first caller. Most children love the role. They need to do exactly what you said. If a parent doesn’t want the child to do that. They ended up hating that parent.

Soon as you said Robin Thicke it he me and I said "thats who John reminds me of!" 😂 lol "I'm lost without youu" 😅

I was that woman breaking up with my high school sweetheart and going back to him... (5 years) I wish we would have had that talk. Maybe things would have been different.

My new favorite saying has to be “fart in a box on a stick!” I love Dr. John and his way with words.

I left a voicemail and I pray I get called back. I need direction so badly. I love my children so much and their mother is basically making me choose between her and them and the stress is literally killing my body

@Dem-sh9bs

4 ай бұрын

He’s gonna tell you to choose them

@Ryan-wj7yq

4 ай бұрын

@@Dem-sh9bs I did chose the children. I got a lawyer 3 days ago and she moved out of my house and left the kids. Moved in with some dude. Fine with me. I have some peace back in my life and my daughter doesn’t have to fight with her mom everyday

@kat-ko8qe

4 ай бұрын

​@@Ryan-wj7yq I'm happy for your daughter. I'm a 47 yr old, who knows the result of the other choice. My dad passed a few years ago. The most painful thing for me, is grieving the father I feel like I never knew. He stopped having emotional connection with me around 8 yrs old. It felt as though my mother felt threatened by a healthy connection between us, so everything was only about their marriage.

Bywają i niezdrowe trójkątny.

I never said implicit memories to anyone before.

Nate an arm chair therapist 😂

Parents divorce each other not the adult children. And the parents know how to deal with holidays. They probably waited till kids were old enough and now can live for themselves.

@JmGmail

5 ай бұрын

Why ask adult kids to dump the parents who are divorcing is beyond me.

I’m pretty sure Delony knows the Titanic was real, right? Cause there are some… lol I think you meant the Jack and Rose storyline wasn’t real 😂😂😂

Is the 2nd callers husband helping? Or is that we he Dan sit and relax and she can’t?

First dude didn't even get to ask his question or explain.

Buzz words, how do I navigate, lol. Nobody ever says to me, Tom, how do i Navigate whatever, lol, remember when appropriate was always used by some but never in my personal life, Tom that's inappropriate, no I'd hear or say That's messed up. Lol

This sounds like my parents

I prefer to be the cause of the problems

Dr john was talking with no caller

It’s really IMPOSSIBLE (overall) to declare it’s better to divorce than wait till kids are grown it’s going to hurt any way … and that it may be worse to stay married. #1 You CANNOT predict the future. You have NO CLUE how things would have turned out had your parents divorced when you were a child. I come from the version where my parents divorced when I was a child and it 💯 had a negative , life long impact on me and my siblings. And now I’m 55 and trying to fix it (what can be fixed). The show technician is basing his opinion on the fact that everything would have been okay and that’s really incorrect. Being a child that is completely dependent on your parents and having your ENTIRE world explode is MUCH more difficult to deal with than when you’re in your 20’s. Yes, you experienced loss … and it appears mostly what you missed was not having your parents there to help you when you had your 3rd baby. Think how that would have been when they are not there to help you as a child physically/ mentally/ emotionally… as a child you have no where else to turn or the development to figure anything out. I’d think on that again before giving that advice…

@sackettfamily4685

Жыл бұрын

I think his suggestion was based on the premise of the same outcome=happy mom and more peaceful (?) Dad. Like if this was the outcome of the divorce, he wishes it could've happened sooner. We don't know the details other than what he said, and giving general advice for everyone doesn't really work. Because everyone has a certain kind of struggle, in the marriage. For abuse, divorce is best if the spouse won't change. For non abuse problems, it's less clear data.

🏆🏆🏆🏆⭐⭐⭐⭐🙏🙏❤️

He hit s

🇳🇴

Just because his parents are divorcing does Not mean wife has to quit working with his mom! There can be sooo many other dynamics / opportunities / family relationships that can grow. His wife doesn’t have to run away from his mom because of her divorce!! That can make things even more difficult & separate. These are different situations!

@donnabaker4713

2 ай бұрын

i think his advice was great! The mom doesn't need to be using the daughter in law as a therapist. It could really hurt their marriage if the mom gets the daughterin law too involved in the drama. He was 100% correct.

@lindarockower6028

Ай бұрын

I agree wifey needs to quit working with the mom. She probably low-key wants to, anyway. She's not a sounding board, and it implies they've "taken sides." Get a therapist, mom!

How to handle stress and anxiety when kids are home all summer?! If you can’t stand having your kids around more than usual, then get therapy. You chose to have kids and parenting is a 24/7 job that you signed up for! And be grateful that you could have kids at all.

@dtcmommy

Жыл бұрын

Yikes

@show_me_your_kitties

11 ай бұрын

Yikes

@jesilynsylvia9665

10 ай бұрын

Sheesh.

@carmenchapa1

4 ай бұрын

Shut the hell up 😂

@yzzy1966

Ай бұрын

Shut!

Bottom line - if God is not at the CENTER of your relationships. If you are putting your Job, your Spouse or your Kids before your relationship with God, you will not receive the anointing from God that is required to step into those roles with longevity, peace, love, grace, forgiveness, mercy. This may not be information that you have heard before so you may not believe it yet in your heart, but I can assure you that it is the bottom line.

Guy calling about girlfriend: John is misleading you. Your gf has lost respect for you (and attraction). If you are genuinely confused, and she's not mentally ill, that's what's happening. Its unlikely this will change, and she could have her eye on another dude.

Being a female by default causes problems 😂

@mleon7339

Жыл бұрын

Sorry but the truth is being human causes problems but with God all things are possible!!!💕

@dabd8175

Жыл бұрын

@@mleon7339 your half right 👍

@ananda1044

Жыл бұрын

Poor thing bless your heart

@dabd8175

Жыл бұрын

@@ananda1044 ikr feel bad for females 😂

@JmGmail

5 ай бұрын

Why? Have you caused problems because you are female?