What Makes A Real Man? | Lewis Howes on Impact Theory
What does it mean to be masculine? In his fascinating new book, best-selling author, speaker, and high-performance coach Lewis Howes asks this very question.Whether it’s the jock, the playboy, or the fighter, Lewis breaks down the different masks that men unknowingly wear to hide their authentic selves. Watch “The School of Greatness” host discuss masculinity, vulnerability, and authenticity in this eye-opening episode of Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu.
Tom Bilyeu is the co-founder of 2014 Inc. 500 company Quest Nutrition - a unicorn startup valued at over $1 billion - and the co-founder and host of Impact Theory. Impact Theory is a first-of-its-kind company designed to facilitate global change through the incubation of mission-based businesses and the cultivation of empowering content. Every piece of content Impact Theory creates is meant to underscore the company mission to free people from The Matrix and help them unlock their true potential. Impact Theory exists to inspire the next generation of game-changing companies and creators that will make a true and lasting impact on the world.
Buy the Mask of Masculinity Here: amzn.to/2yZ5sfT
PULLED QUOTES
1.“The things I do are pretty simple; I just do them over and over again.” [2:58]
2.“I try to constantly do things that put me out of a box, that make me uncomfortable, and that challenge me.” [5:07]
3.“I think at our core that’s our deepest fear --that we’re not going to feel love from someone.” [22:26]
4.“The more I do the uncomfortable, it becomes comfortable.” [28:36]
5.“The definition of masculinity is living in service.” [38:00]
6.“I feel like if we’re not getting feedback then we think we know it all.” [41:04]
7.“I believe the greatest leaders in the world know how to understand where any person is coming from and can connect and communicate on their level as opposed to expecting that person to connect and communicate on the leader’s level.” [47:14]
SHOW NOTES
Tom and Lewis talk about masculine vulnerability and how a fight changed his life. [5:05]
Lewis shares when he discovered that he was wearing masks and how he learned to forgive. [11:26]
Lewis breaks down different types of masks and overcoming the fear of being perfect. [13:27]
Lewis talks about using masks to our advantage and knowing when it’s time to take it off. [17:07]
Tom and Lewis deconstruct the process that draws a line between masks and authenticity. [19:20]
Lewis reveals the question he used to start every conversation and what waits on the other side. [21:53]
Lewis describes practical steps that you can usedto identify and remove masks in your life. [26:13]
Tom and Lewis dive into the comfort of wearing masks and how they are created. [29:36]
Lewisgives society’s definition of a “real man” and being educated by powerful women. [34:13]
Lewis offers his definition of real masculinity and the basis of self-love. [37:56]
Lewis explains how he ranks priorities in his life. [40:05]
Lewis clarifies why he tailored a section for women in his book about masculinity. [43:25]
Tom and Lewis discuss connectivity at every level and creating meaningful conversation and change. [45:51]
Lewis reveals the three truths that are essential to creating your best life. [49:00]
Lewis defines the impact that he wants to have on the world. [51:18]
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
BOOKS
The School of Greatness: A Real-World Guide to Living Bigger, Loving Deeper, and Leaving a Legacy by Lewis Howes: amzn.to/2xuckyh [1:30]
The Mask of Masculinity by Lewis Howes: amzn.to/2yZ5sfT [2:01]
PEOPLE
Dale Die -bit.ly/2yZZLin [45:00]
Randy Couture -bit.ly/2yG9Bmo [45:03]
SHOWS
Lewis Howes on Ellen -Part 1 -bit.ly/2oR1z49
Lewis Howeson Ellen -Part 2 -bit.ly/2yzCumF
Lewis Howessalsa dancing -bit.ly/1FUm9rC
FOLLOW LEWIS HOWES
INSTAGRAM: bit.ly/2gBczV1
TWITTER: bit.ly/1T6F5bq
FACEBOOK: bit.ly/2tgJouE
LINKEDIN: bit.ly/2zDI9WN
WEBSITE: bit.ly/2yYv50W
PODCAST: bit.ly/1UTi4tE
FOLLOW TOM BILYEU
TWITTER: bit.ly/2iyjY5P
INSTAGRAM: bit.ly/2j7vqX8
FACEBOOK: bit.ly/2hPStWo
SHOP: shop.impacttheory.com/
FACEBOOK GROUP: / impacttheoryleague
TOM BILYEU READING LIST: impacttheory.com/reading-list/
FOLLOW IMPACT THEORY
TWITTER: bit.ly/2iC5lN3
INSTAGRAM: bit.ly/2hPSGJa
FACEBOOK: bit.ly/2iystOf
Subscribe to the PODCAST to get episodes early: @
IMPACT THEORY MERCHANDISE: Check out Impact Theory's Merch Shop: bit.ly/ImpactTheoryShop
Пікірлер: 343
I met this man in person at a company event and he was so genuine and was bursting with gratitude. Shook his hand and received a signed copy of his book. What an honor.
I feel like as a woman I've been around so many confused men I never knew how to feel about masculinity and men. When I got to know Lewis's ideas and actually how amazing men can be I just cried. Thank you.
@moderndaysurvivor91
2 жыл бұрын
Yeah I guess it's easy to forget now unless you go to the gym
@sandralujan1199
2 жыл бұрын
Wow you make me want to read the book. Not that I absolutely didnt have it on my need to read list. But the title wasnt specific to me. Reading your comment makes me even more curious. Thanks for sharing.
“The more uncomfortable things I do, the more comfortable they become” Lewis Howes
I had the pleasure of hearing this man speak at a company conference and then spoke to him briefly after. He’s extremely genuine and humble.
Best quotes for me: "What's the point of life if we dont have a dream. when we dont pursue our dream i don't care if i ever achive my dream, but i have to be in that pursuit because thats where i learn the most, where i have amaizing time, explor, connect with people and adventure and travel"
Lewis Howes story remind me of myself. Although I'm 21, but I was doing 3 different sports at the same time for over 10 years. I was very good at all of them (Karate, Tennis, Soccer) but especially at Karate. When I was 16 I started doing drugs, go clubbing, hanging out with the wrong people and ended up with my doing nothing with my sports career. Fortunately now I'm sober for about a year. The Thing is, after those 4 years of doing nothing but bad stuff, I need to find myself again and this Interview is probably the best thing I've watched for a long time. Thank you Tom Bilyeu for doing such a great Show and inviting so wise people. Peace and greetings from Switzerland. Vladan T.
I think this conversation is SOOOOOO necessary right now in human evolution. I am excited about the future of relationships among us.
@nancylohe2366
5 жыл бұрын
This is really helpful and inspiring!!
@trueseull
3 жыл бұрын
devlish creations like tiktok arent helping us get closer unfortunately
@ushift
2 жыл бұрын
@@trueseull Same with your shoes. I don't think the invention of shoes helped us get closer either.
@trueseull
2 жыл бұрын
@@ushift shoes help us walk. Tiktok helps us waste time and consume poison.
@charliebrown9930
Жыл бұрын
Absolutely x
I'm 15 year old who believes that the human potential is powerful beyond measure and I truly believe in what you believe and I'm applying it in my life and transmitting it to the people around me.Tom I've so many things to tell you but right now I can only summarize into this: I Love you and may God bless you. Much love from Maputo, Mozambique 🇲🇿
@samarthsingh8735
5 жыл бұрын
Hello fellow 16 year old
@GWozzie3
3 жыл бұрын
That is so beautiful 💝 Much power to you ✊
Hey Tom! One of my goals is to be a guest on your show some day! I am in the process of turning my product reviews into a full time job so I can wake up everyday and live my passion while loving my life. I have come from sleeping on a couch in my moms boyfriends having to literally shit in a bucket, to finally owning my own place, getting the car I always wanted and there is much more to come. My channel is approaching 20k subscribers, and it's all because of the grind. I have been committed to getting home from the day job at 5pm and working on videos until 1am for the last 2 years. Results are coming. I will be doing so many bigger things with the channel than what it is now but who knows. Maybe one day you will actually read this and we can talk. Cheers. All the best and thank you for what you Do! The motivation has helped immensely and I would like to motivate others now in the same ways
@fillup901
2 жыл бұрын
give us an update! where are you now :D
@lukeskywalker12322
2 жыл бұрын
Go back to mom’s basement, kid, you’ll never achieve anything!
I think that this talk is very important to listen to whether you are a man or a woman. The masks that are talked about apply just as much to men as they do to women, even if in a different context. Great conversation and absolutely in love how Lewis Howes is so real and raw in this. Thanks for the great, truthful conversation.
Yes how incredible to have you two together. Inspirational
My two favourite men podcasting today.THANK YOU!!! TOM & LEWIS for creating real change in the world creating balance in the masculine and feminine you are very much appreciated:))
You guys really raise the bar with grace! Thank you for all your efforts and insights. :)
@elwanmatadorow775
6 жыл бұрын
Robert Moreno which bar bro? Quest bar?
I love the opening comments about judgement, it is so so true. You'll get judged for everything no matter what, so you may as well get judged for doing something you love!
That's right Lewis Howes, Tom Bilyeu is the King of Introduction. I enjoy watching and learning from you guys
So happy about this one! Love you both! Thanks for the amazing contribution and service you're putting in the world, and making it a better place.
LOVE that intro Tom!! I LOVE THIS GUY!!! Lewis is my hero! TWO OF MY FAVS TOGETHER???-----Personal Development NIRVANA!!!
@aamfashion
6 жыл бұрын
LOL that's what I found too!
Dear Tom and Lewis, thank you so much guys for this conversation. Its full of value. Thanks for the work that both of you are doing, you guys are a constant inspiration to me. You rock!
This was one of the best interviews I've ever seen! Thank you for a lot of inspiring words :) You both are great leaders by showing that we all can express vulnerability and stay confident at the same time. Opening our hearts and showing our real emotions is really the key to meaningful relationships with others. Thank you! :)
my motivation Lewis Howes, i always watch episodes of Lewis and Tom both of U love u keep it up :)
@jishnupradeep9764
6 жыл бұрын
Amazing one..this guy speaks like everyone does these things in life but they are putting a fake mask to hide it from society but I don't care as far as my personality is concerned to me as a being..... excellent to be yourself....
@HeatherQuisel
6 жыл бұрын
Same here!
32:24 when he starts talking about being an outcast as a kid and it leading to depression i damn near started crying both times i watched it kuz that litterally was me. Being an immigrant first of all when i came to america in 4th grade i was constantly made fun of and i dont think those kids even knew what they were doing and also when i was in high school and at times i gelt so alone that i would be in my house alone litterally screamjng and crying kuz i could actually feel physical pain from the extreme emptyness i felt inside
@niokablack5505
4 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry you experienced such coldhearted treatment, it was just so wrong, and I am ashamed of the parents who by their example of coldness or lack of Godly teaching with daily instructions or holding their child accountable, did not live out to how to treat others as you'd want to be treated. They not only damaged your life but also let their own families down because they failed to be respectful or raise loving humans. I always taught my kids to remember no matter what anyone said to them, always remember WHO you are, (what you KNOW about yourself is the truth not what someone being mean hurls at you, just pity them and pray they learn better), and remember WHOSE you are- A Child of the Most High King and your Family's Biggest Treasure. As a result, they lived in their own truth and neither were ever picked on or bullied and their friends who always stacked up at our home, and tried to stay as long as they could... and I loved them and welcomed them but we had high standards and expectations. Never once did a child ask to go home because they didnt want to be there or follow our standards. I wish you'd been in my kids world at the time because you would have been welcomed. I feel so brokenhearted for any child who doesn't KNOW they are cherished, wanted, and the Biggest Blessing in this world to those who are supposed to be loving them. Everyone should feel that way, Jesus is the Way, the Truth. And the Life. People who abide in Him would not treat anyone the way you were treated. I'm so sorry.
@iamwoods_music
3 жыл бұрын
Hope you're seeing better days man
Thank you Lewis for your candor and vulnerability! I am a big fan and so happy to have rediscovered this video. Love and light
YES!!!!! Finally, I've been anticipating for Lewis Howes to be interviewed in your show. Thanks Impact Theory for making this happen.
I purchased his most recent book on Audible and was listening when i got a notification for impact theory. I was giddy right away because i knew from the title your guest was Lewis! So pumped to watch and continue listening yo his book!
Thank you so much for making this type of content! you guys blew my mind with this insights.
Tom. Good episode. Lewis has much wisdom for his age gained by his decision to improve and finding answers. Thank you
That was a lot of GREAT information! Thank you so much for sharing this with the world.
He has been as a neglected kid and turn you as a overt narcissist (I can see mirror me in him) but looks like He has seen this and cope with this strongly. He also uses it as power to get his goals in life.. I first time see him and love him.. Powerful
I loved this interview! I found myself tearing up at some point. I love you both! You are the change this world needs so desperately. Thanks for your service.🙏 Much love. 🧡
OMg Nice !!! Just listened to a bunch of Lewis's interviews and now this?! Made my day!!! Edit: watched the interview with Vanessa Van Edwards and Lewis Howes on the same "masks" topic. Also, really interesting pov's. I started seeing, recognizing (and wearing) masks when I was 13-14... so interesting to hear it being addressed by such inspiring people as you two.
@1mikhaelone
6 жыл бұрын
good. now go and shine, let your action inspire others :)
Yay! I love it when two of my favorite interviewers and motivators get together! Very excited about the work both of you are doing.
I can't believe I'm just now watching this! You guys are some of my favorites!
Love you guys! Thx 4 being you and bringing us this content. I love how raw and real you are ❤
Entire interview was amazing. Lewis is an unique man. Last 10 minutes were especially powerful and his top 3 are something that I hold dear. I’ve learned a lot from this thank you for doing what you to Tom + team
2 of the best human beings on Earth
Amazing.. "Introspect, Impart and Impact." At the heart of what Impact Theory is. Thanks Tom & Lewis.
Seeing these two dudes together is SO AMAZING!!!! I listen their podcasts episodes every day. I love so much both of them. GREAT MEETING INDEED!!!!!!!
Thanks! A good set of lessons that I'll try to pass onto my two sons. One of my favorite interviews so far, and I've seen most of them.
Lewis, you are Awesome, as always. Thank you!
Incredible episode! I love seeing Lewis' face at 53:00, hearing his message reflected back in Tom's words. Great stuff
Awesome interview. Many comments resonated with me especially this one - follow your dreams; people will criticize you either way. Way to go Lewis!!
Tom does it again, he has a way of keeping people real. Lewis is usually a pretty vulnerable guy but this interview is the most vulnerable I’ve seen him.
both of you are such powerful an inspirational individuals and its wonderful to see you supporting each other!
yes!! my 2 fav life coaches =) watched it & it was everything I needed and so much more, thank you both!
You two are amazing, thank you for interviewing such a wise man. I love you
Wow! This is so needed. We greatly appreciate you. Blessings!
Two great men having an honest and meaningful conversation. Loved every minute of it 👍👍👍
Currently working on the relationship with myself right now! It’s been hard!
@richardw3347
4 жыл бұрын
Stevie Smith finding good mentors and teachers can help. peace.
Tom thank you for everything you have done for the KZread community
Ahhhhhh!!!!! This friggin makes me so dang encouraged!!!! I have no idea how I'm gonna get there, but I will be apart of this amazing community impacting others!!!! You gentlemen are so inspiring and young men need more men like you guys to look up to! I admire you guys so very much!!! I love the heart behind what you guys do!!
Absolutely awesome Tom... Thank you 🙏🏼
So happy you two teamed up!!! This was such a great interview!! Lewis you're amazing!!
@stephenodey5147
6 жыл бұрын
wakingupcurious Hi hope this helps? There is a first interview , Tom and Lewis had together, in of the Quest series, 😉
Got ALOT of value out of that. Thanks!
AMAZING! I thought the first interview was good, but this is 10X better. Looking forward to reading the book.
AMAAAAAZING BEST IVE SEEN (I’m a day one fan..) SO CLEAR CUT AND STRAIGHT TO THE POINT AND HIGH IN ENERGY & LOVE ❤️ PURE FIRE 🔥
Very nice Tom.. I really really love all ur interviews.. Thank u so much for such grt interviews.. ur truly a legend tc
I keep hearing from people like yourself (Tom) and Lewis here about being a student in life and never letting yourself have that ego of being a know it all.. I realised I got to a stage where I started thinking my film making skills were heaps good and I stopped learning, this is also when I stopped growing and became frustrated at why I'm not getting the attention I deserve.. a lot of people teach that you should "pretend like you've already made it" I don't know if I was doing that incorrectly but the way that attitude manifested itself in my experience was that I became arrogant and counter productive. I feel that basing your self esteem on the notion of learning as opposed to achieving things is the best thing to do. Tom, you taught me that and its serving me well. Being a learner and taking massive action is one killer combination. Im currently in New Zealand taking that action (beautiful country by the way). Cheers mate have a good day.
Been a supporter of both your channels for a while now, saw your previous meeting at the time it aired and loved it/. This is also a joy to watch (Just watched the Rich Roll interview yesterday and was totally inspired) Keep up the amazing work, guys 😀👍
Beautiful and such a deeply powerful message! Thankyou for sharing such immense wisdom
Love you guys. You're great role models
I am grateful for all the interviews i am listening from both of you! Such a nice pleasure to watch you both sharing your inspirational insights and knowledge! Thank you!
This guy is awesome. So real and transparent, vulnerable, honest. The conversation about the masks we wear was huge for me. Been there, done that. always can stand a reminder to be real and in the moment. And honest with myself "I rate myself daily..." Wow!
dude Tom, I can't thank you enough for these videos. Will be writing an email to you soon about how these videos have impacted my life.
Great duo, love the videography quality and impact of the questions from Tom, such a great interviewer!!. Kudos to Lewis for his vulnerability also Takes balls to show your weakness. Let's tackle those masks!!
My 2 favourites persons in the same room. Awesome conversation. Love this asking for feedback idea. Will definitely need to listen to this again. Thank you
Lewis Howes... Thank you for being different from the rest. The ability of recognizing your flaws and transforming it into this incredible skill of diving deep into an emotion, genuine state. The key is communication. Showing the world who you truly are, and that your OK with that. Let's keep spreading more love until humen beings start to follow 🙋👌❤
Amazing interview! Being vulnerable is good, it allows you to peel back emotional layers and understand why we feel certain ways. Self awareness
I love you Tom for what you bring to the world. I loved getting to know Lewis here. I always knew he had a softer side just by how he listens....but what he said about leadership was powerful ❤️
Lewis this is wonderful information. What a blessing you are.
You are changing my life with your show Tom, Thank you! :)
Hey Tom, haven't been watching your show as much anymore since meeting you in New York as I've been executing a lot more. I'm actually seeing results!! Thanks Tom, much love from NY!
Tom , You sure know how to introduce the greatness of your great guest. Bravo!
What a powerful duo!
I truly enjoy listening and learnng from these 2 amazing men. I love the way Luis thinks. Great interview.
Tom i just want to thank you for your shows and the books you recommend , really helped. May god give you a life of joy and truth.
Thank you, Lewis and Tom, you have taught me soooooo much! You are my heroes!
What a great man both of you. Thanks for sharing such a useful information by both of you to us. Blessed to watch this conversation.
Love that you are evolving Lewis and sharing. Wow wow wow
Tom and Lewis- what a combo !!!!
Awesome video, being a former athlete myself I feel I have anger issues when I am not understood or ignored !! Definitely a wake up call, working on myself everyday!! Thank you for this video tom! Keep up the great content !!
This just blew me away , as a man I feel like sometimes we try and guise ourselves through a lot of alter egos or the “ego”. But wearing a mask in a sense to protect the ego , what a great connection.
Great talk as always. Definitely connected on a lot of points, minor disagreement (anger as a mask...in the basketball game scenario), but really love Lewis' podcast and yours. Looking forward to checking out the book. Cheers!
I respect Lewis' honesty with his personal imperfections, we may be quick sometimes to judge others, but not credit how big of a person it takes to divulge certain core issues that we ALL habour. Respect.
Powerful, Lewis, thank you for sharing....
Thank you Tom for this beautiful and meaningful video. I love you both you guys are an amazing people👍👍
I'm chasing my dreams of being a videographer! Awesome impact theory man!
@Hussainzidane
6 жыл бұрын
Divineshot 314 keep raising, that's my dream as well
@Divineshot
6 жыл бұрын
Hussain zidane Nice! Do you have Instagram?
@HeatherQuisel
6 жыл бұрын
Got for it!
@Divineshot
6 жыл бұрын
Heather Quisel Thanks for the support ! :)
@AlbertDarvesh
6 жыл бұрын
whats your insta? I am currently looking a videographer
lots of great insights, especially the truth and application of listening and asking for feedback
I love hearing Lewis' personal story so much! I wonder if either of you are familiar with Gabrielle Roth's work with dancing and masks? Her work was the first that introduced me to the idea that I might use my masks to serve me, instead of being ruled by them. This is such good, needed work right now. Thank you both!!! Much love.
Omg two of my faves! love you both!
Tom, I really enjoyed the interview, as usual. I also follow Lewis Howes on social media and on his KZread channel. I think you both a incredible human beings, you are making great contributions to the human race. Let´s spread the message! 👊
@HeatherQuisel
6 жыл бұрын
These guys bring so much value to the world!
@MariviCastilloTips
6 жыл бұрын
Indeed Heather!!!!
@YET64
6 жыл бұрын
Let's spread the message! I like it that is true. The best people I admire both Lewis Howes and TOm. Isn't amazing! winnerTips 10 I will check your channel too. I was struck by your "let's spread the message"
@MariviCastilloTips
6 жыл бұрын
Thank U! @Personal Development- Feed your mind all the time My channel is in Spanish... so you probably won´t understand (If you do that would be great). I also made a review about Impact Theory channel (´cause I love it so much!). Anyway thank you for your message!! I´ll go check out your channel too :D
@YET64
6 жыл бұрын
Thanks for your respond and checking out my channel. I checked your channel it is in Spanish,just triggered learning new language worthy. You never know I will keep on checking one day I will be in a position to understand.
thanks for this great interview!
I think he made some very valid points, I can tell you from my own experience a lot of people are real closed minded and entrenched on this issue. The message has to go out to the young primarily, rather than try change the mindset of adults. The world definitely needs to aim towards seeing people as people and not limiting everyone by seeing them are first and foremost a gender. And I’m really happy Tom managed to get his favorite word efficacy in to the show again! 😂
YESS. Amazing. Love Lewis' work as well!
Tom Bilyeu with Lewis Howes a powerful combination, thank you for this video
I feel like thinking with the heart might be the solution.
Excellent thank you!!
Aquired a copy of this fascinating book today! I celebrate this prosperity!
The most powerful thing that shifts paradigms is being able to face emotional vulnerability. I love this interview.
Very inspiring, i had no idea lewis had been through all this stuff, i assumed he'd always lived a charmed life so to speak. I've come to realise that self healing is the first and necessary step to improve your life, that means honest and thorough self introspection. This introspection can only be done from a position of true awareness, whereby the ego with all it's flaws can be observed moment by moment, and then consciously let go of, resulting in the emergence of the true authentic self.
i always rotate Impact Theory and School of Greatness. I love them both..