God help me he is hoovering.....I'm fighting it but not doing so great. I don't want him back but it's hard to not respond or say no.

@koryanrivas62

Жыл бұрын

I too struggle with this…it’s painful!!

@lindaschultz7900

Жыл бұрын

Write down all the bad stuff he did to you in a journal. Every time you feel like taking him back, read the journal. I promise you it really works. Good Luck. 😊

@MentalHealness

Жыл бұрын

Choose yourself

@janelle3061

Жыл бұрын

@@lindaschultz7900 I did but I haven't looked at it the last 2 weeks. I'm getting it out right now lol

@adrenajohnson6727

Жыл бұрын

You got this Janelle!!

Narcs DO NOT KNOW WHAT LOVE IS!!!! They LUST! They can feel great about you at 1:00pm then feel very differently at 1:02pm…. They are like little children, their communication skills are -0. I am happy to be free of him and out of a 14year (non) marriage… it was the absolute worst…now when I go to bed at night it feels great that I don’t have to worry or think about that dreadful man & what is on his mind’s agenda, wondering what is he going to do next to cause me hurt/trauma, I will no longer have to adjust and readjust my feelings of being with such a person ever again, it feels wonderful, there are days that I chuckle at myself. & whisper quietly that I’m FREE!!! & I can see life BEAUTIFUL AGAIN 🌺Thank you, Jesus 💕

@melbeldanielle6845

Жыл бұрын

Congrats to the fullest, what a blessing 🙌 💓

@yogib8

Жыл бұрын

@@melbeldanielle6845 thank you so much💕you have no idea how good it feels to not feel afraid or badly anymore, It is such a blessing!💕🌺💕

@elliehenderson3227

Жыл бұрын

@yogi B that’s what I tell the narcissist I was seeing he kept saying he don’t love me like that because I’m not his type, we would do everything together and lived as a couple but he love younger females that he lust over. every time I leave, he wants me back I never understand why. I said to him you care more than you think you don’t know what love is you do way too much for me not to love me.

@ClassikMussik

Жыл бұрын

I’m on that journey now !!!

@yogib8

Жыл бұрын

@@ClassikMussik be kind and gentle towards yourself, it’s a tough journey but you will be stronger, and much wiser…loads of love to you 💕🌺💕

Narcissists do not love you. Therefore they cannot fall out of love with you. The end.

@luluhen72

Жыл бұрын

Reason they replace u in a blink of eye ..

@crazytracy71

Жыл бұрын

Well said. I'm going to put that on my mirror to remind myself of that every day. Ty so so much. Sweet n to the point!

@elainnajones9107

Жыл бұрын

@luluhen72 the reason they are able to operate in such evil inhumane ways... they are built on fury, not love. Truth and falsehood cannot exist in the same space at the same time. They are destroyers.

@crazytracy71

Жыл бұрын

@@elainnajones9107 those were some powerful n brutally honest words I needed to hear. Ty. Its ironic how cruel their words can be. N then we all found this gentleman w courage to share some enlightenment, education, hope w sincerity. N the hope n support from us followers. Wow!

@elainnajones9107

Жыл бұрын

@Crazy Tracy just remember narcissism is a personality disorder. Once a narcissist always one. Lacking emotional empathy and the ability to reflect and truly leave behind childish things, such as self centeredness, envy on down to their personality having been forged in fury, fear and cowardice they do not possess what is needed to become sincere. They are excellent at feigning sincerity and altruism. They lack both.

LETS NOT FORGET THE BIPOLAR Issues, THE CONTROL, AND THE JEALOUSY.

@titanniki412

Жыл бұрын

My Ex of 17 mos suffers from Bi Polar and low self esteem. I learned all I could about the illness. & I would talk to her about it. She said I'm not like all those others u see in the videos. My concern was the Hypersexuality they may experience. She stated that's not me. I just spend money. Her 26 yr old foster daughter & 7&11 yr old live with her. Her daughter works 10 pm to 6 am. So she is with the kids. I get the GN Text, then 1, 2 in the morning I would get a Hope u sleeping ok. But when her daughter was off I wouldn't get those texts at 1 or 2 either 1 nite or both nites. She says When Ruth is off I just watch TV, play video games & try & relax & get my sleep. I know her sleep patterns, she gets 3/4 hours sleep if that. But her actions continued. I have my suspicions, but nothing concrete.I could deal with her mania hi & lows, but the Hypersexuality, I can't. 20 days since she set me free. Like many times b4. I always went back. Not this time!! I'm learning she may have NPD also. She can have her other Supplies. I'm gonna be like the song Rascal Flatts I'M MOVING ON!! & if she calls or texts I will send her Randy Travis song, I TOLD YOU SO!!

@hotcocco7819

Жыл бұрын

I wanna cry!!! I thought it was really me!! I needed this!!

@deeevansnola8178

Жыл бұрын

You are exactly right! I didn't know he could be a bipolar narcissist!! OMG! The worst. I met him when I was young . He wooed me with material things. I thought that was a good man. (I didn't know anything) as I got older and began to realize something was off with him I began to research. One of his family members had bipolar I looked it up and sure enough he had all the symptoms. That lead me to narcissist . Boy I studied like I was in school to get a PhD. Once I recognized that's what I was dealing with I outsmarted him. Oh that made him angry. Through out all this I fell out of love with him. He couldn't believe it. I gave him to the streets where he belong

@rashaerichey9344

11 ай бұрын

Ki always called it tripolar

@luluhen72

11 ай бұрын

So sad...so so true😢

The craziest part is trying to figure out what you did wrong to deserve this. It’s taking me so long to realize that his idea of love is warped and twisted. He needs me to be perfect and to fawn over him constantly and to never respond negatively to anything ever. He could be cold, angry and terrible to me but I can’t ever respond to it. His expectations are unrealistic and there was nothing I could do about it.

@mp4455

Жыл бұрын

You said it best

@kayligo

Жыл бұрын

Sound ma exactly like the one I met.

@Death_Shambles

Жыл бұрын

Reminds me of her exactly. Unable to handle me having issues with her, expected to always be madly in love and excited no matter the situation or my own feelings.

@MrsTruthTeller

Жыл бұрын

@@Death_Shambles I hope you are NOT dealing with her anymore. Save yourself from the chaos and emotional damage that she has caused. Heal yourself.

@Death_Shambles

Жыл бұрын

@@MrsTruthTeller oh I left her. She started love bombing again afterwards. We discussed therapy and working on ourselves to be better before getting back together. She worked on herself by hoping into another relationship immediately 😂

Narcissists will always end up alone as they aren't capable of love or empathy.

@mscfields84

Жыл бұрын

Or forgiveness seems like

@luluhen72

Жыл бұрын

I CAN SEE IT‼️‼️‼️

@jwm4ever

Жыл бұрын

I've never seen a narcissist Alone. I've seen those of us who were victims of the Narcissist alone because we CHOOSE to not have anymore drama and trauma. But every Narcissist I know keeps having relationships or stays married and continues to cheat

@truthseeker5941

Жыл бұрын

JJ Mack, they will never be alone, they will just be finding less than desirable supply and lowering the bar lower and lower to just have a body to suck energy off of and have sex with. However, they will never have the love that the prime supply gave them again. They made sure to destroy that...

@jwm4ever

Жыл бұрын

@@truthseeker5941 This is absolutely 💯 True. I see it.

My ex feelings just cut off like a light switch and I felt it, I wouldn't even want to come home. It just seemed like he was always disgusted with me. I couldn't take it anymore after being pushed away and gaslighted. I learned to love myself more and heal. I learned so much from that experience, it was rough and there are times where I worry about him but I have to put myself first. The breakup was August and I'm doing much better.

@nicolemartinezplatas1111

Жыл бұрын

Ahhh the facial expressions and indirect blows oh man 🫠 how amazing it is not waking up next to a narc

@indiadelon8771

Жыл бұрын

@Arsene Lupin III I think being alone will be good for me, I've always been in relationships and I'm tired. Takes so much out of me

@indiadelon8771

Жыл бұрын

@Arsene Lupin III thank you so much ❤️

@shannonwells3427

Жыл бұрын

That’s awesome one day at a time

@doctorroc8633

Жыл бұрын

1{}{}%Raw 👨🏾‍⚕️ i gotcha babe gurl ❤

I asked my husband one time, “do you love me?” He replied with “today more than yesterday.” Their moods dictate if they think they love you or not. Some days they hate you, some days they love you, you don’t have to do anything, it switches on and off like a light switch and it has nothing to do with your behavior towards them.

I’m my experience with a narcissist, they literally do NOT know what love is. They’re incapable of it, almost like a sociopath!

The love bombing stage was really cool but it's charm fades when you realise you will not be accepted for who you are.

@spreadthegospel6667

Жыл бұрын

Exactly! I wasn’t skinny enough to be with him… he was “watching me” to see if I lost weight. So glad I am over it!

@maha_sage

Жыл бұрын

@@spreadthegospel6667 so then you knew he was not love bombing you, he was love bombing himself and you were falling for a poltergeist.

@curli-lettey4319

Жыл бұрын

And them knowing that after awhile they will know the time gonna come around when you will stop accepting them for who they REALLY are.

@maha_sage

Жыл бұрын

@@curli-lettey4319 truly

@sarajohnsonlpc

Жыл бұрын

It’s not cool though because it’s not real. It’s manipulation and it’s ABUSE. They do it so it creates contrast when they suddenly pull the rug out. It’s not cool at all.

They don’t love anyone - not even themselves. They are just a black hole of wants and needs.

@MentalHealness

Жыл бұрын

😵‍💫😵

@annacoleman4585

Жыл бұрын

It’s so sad

@narcfreebabyGi

Жыл бұрын

Not even the kids 💯

@luluhen72

Жыл бұрын

SO SAD...BUT SO TRUE ..SO EMPTY

@ArubaAysha

Жыл бұрын

Nah, you don't love yourself that's why you end up with a narc

Yo… I LOST IT when he said, “We don’t like you, we kinda hate you, but we also wanna keep you around cause we did care” Omg cracking tf up !! 😭🤣🤣😂 FACTS ‼️💯 That’s exactly how it goes. Energy don’t lie 💯 On spot again Lee always 💥💯

@victorechevarria8450

Жыл бұрын

Exactly the situation I need to extract myself from

@Raw_Roots

Жыл бұрын

​@@victorechevarria8450 please run...get out..

@elaineanderson2989

Жыл бұрын

How is a narcs abuse funny to you? You are demented.

@ShaisTime

Жыл бұрын

@@elaineanderson2989 Um I’m not demented. You are for thinking that. Nothing is funny about narcissistic abuse ! I been through it ALSO. He is the one who made a humorous joke about a messed up situation. It’s so insane & delusional and doesn’t make sense, that when you look back it at, you have to laugh only because of that. Humor to look back & laugh & HEAL. & If you watch his videos, he always puts humor in his informational videos. Get a clue🕵️‍♀️

@elaineanderson2989

Жыл бұрын

@@ShaisTime energy doesn't lie. You are fucking with the real deal, I can spot a fake a mile off as a chosen one. 🌎 😇

What's really sad is that narcissistic parents will do this to their children, too --- suddenly, they don't feel "into them" anymore, and something or someone else (like a sibling, new baby, or if single, new bf/gf) has all their love bombing attention. DEVASTATING for a small kid who doesn't understand why mommy or daddy isn't focused on them anymore.

The narcissist was never in love with me. I realized that as soon as I started researching his behaviors and discovered he checked ALL the boxes for narcissistic and toxic behaviors. That's why the discard was the BEST thing he did for me. These videos are so accurate and helpful. The comments help confirm I'm not the only one. Thank you, Lee.

@yogib8

Жыл бұрын

no ma'am you are not the only one...and you are not crazy either!

@exmrsnowwomanscorned8369

Жыл бұрын

Yas gurl!

@staycemartinez3901

Жыл бұрын

You’re definitely not, I just went through the discard and it physically hurts but watching these videos is helping me not to blame myself as much

@truthseeker5941

Жыл бұрын

Cloye, you are in the company of millions. The Bible says in the last days men will be lovers of themselves. That is referring to all of these demonic narcs.

@casperinsight3524

Жыл бұрын

The emotional discard or devalue is just as painful as the actual confusing disguard, maybe more so as its ongoing emotional mayhem. Its prolonged pain ...ripping the proverbial bandaid off slowly and repeatedly. Every time you think you're making headway, that you've finally triumphed over the adversity, thinking the worst is over, that you've graduated to the next level in relationship...HA, think again! The jokes on you. You find yourself right back where you started. You'll never be on solid ground, they will always pull the rug out from under you, sabotaging you and the relationship, cutting off their own nose to spite your face and theirs. Its an endless cycle, continuous loop of predictable highs, lows and ongoing disappointment. You will always be let down again, again, and again. The final discard is a Blessing in disguise ~ You've been spared, you've been released, set free.

There is nothing better than being over the narc!!!

@zena3413

Жыл бұрын

I know

@SK-wi9nn

Жыл бұрын

I want that day to come now. Still so painful. 😢

@MentalHealness

Жыл бұрын

🙏🏽

@Shanaevaz

Жыл бұрын

I know

@Shanaevaz

Жыл бұрын

@@SK-wi9nn run girl :) the love they had for you came from they own perception. It's wasn't real. Watch this viedo every to help u move forward

I want to thank you for explaining this narcissists illness. I was with my narcissists husband for 35 years and I have walked away For my own well-being. I knew for the last 2 years that something was not right here. I was making excuses for his behaviour , but than I began to look deeper. And sure enough I saw it he was a narcissist. I had to finish it and walk away for good. It broke my heart to do this , but once I understood that he never loved me the way I love him. This was only a game to him. With time I began to heal and found someone who loved me for who I am. DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO I FOUND. I FOUND ME.....THE NEW ME. I GAVE MYSELF ALL THE LOVE THAT I WAS GIVEN TO MY NARCISSISTS HUSBAND. I FEEL ALOT BETTER THAN I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY MARRIAGE. LIFE IS GOOD TO ME NOW NO MORE DRAMA FROM HIM. PEOPLE HAVE SAID THAT I LOOK ALOT BETTER AND THAT YEARS HAVE BE TAKEN OF MY AGE. I FEEL LIKE A NEW WOMAN, LIKE I HAVE BEEN BORN AGAIN. I HOPE MY HUSBAND FINDS PEACE WITHIN HIM SELF AS HE WAS ALWAYS ANGERY. I AM ON TOP OF THE WORLD NOW SINCE I WALKED AWAY AND I WOULDN'T GO BACK FOR ANYTHING.

@ezra4518

Жыл бұрын

❤

@issabrogue1641

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for your post!! Oh my gosh… thank you. And I love you too!! ❤ so grateful for your post in reply to Lee’s amazingly sobering video. I am now going to be the love of my life and wow, between you and Lee - the exact words. Y’all nailed it. Thank you. 🙏🏽🙏🏽

@charlotteclark6061

Жыл бұрын

That was an awful long time, but I'm proud that you chose YOU! BLESSINGS! 👑💜💔💙🙏🌹

@sharonswann1508

Жыл бұрын

Good on you for walking away, I’ve been with my husband for 35 years, he is narcissistic he also has health issues so im his carer It is a nightmare, I don’t want to be with him anymore but finding it hard to get out, My mum passed away and it made him worse towards me, I believe because the attention wasn’t on him.

@Finefiftyplus

11 ай бұрын

😢thank you so much. I'm not in a marriage and I don't think it'll even get there. I'm trying to back out . God bless you and the Love you've found with in yourself 😊🙏

I can pinpoint to the DAY when the light switches off with my ex. I hate I got caught up with a narc! I don’t understand how people can treat someone to harshly.

@CitizenZReincarnated

Жыл бұрын

The answer is quite simple and extremely complicated at the same time. I am of the same mindset and used to rack my brain trying to figure out the why and how behind my ex girlfriends behaviors, why does she act with such malicious and how can she be so harsh after all of the things she has done. The answer is: she just does and she just is. The reasons she acted that way I will never truly know, I don’t think she even knows why at the very deep core level. The part that sickens me is she meticulously premeditated many things.

ALL relationships with a Narcissist, EXPIRES!

@MentalHealness

Жыл бұрын

😫

@misterjlo1546

Жыл бұрын

Proven and testef😥

@merveilleux7426

Жыл бұрын

Or sent you into the grave

@user-ix5hm6oz5c

Жыл бұрын

At the worst time too

@KishaGreen19

Жыл бұрын

😂❤👏🏾🙌🏾👍🏾 I will not date a narcissist I will not date a narcissist I will not date a narcissist

“I’ll always love you” but I exposed you so you abused, destroyed and punished me. They don’t love anyone or themselves. Nobody cripples another person in every way imaginable and loves you.

Unfortunately my first “real” boyfriend was a narc. Dealt with him on and off from age 14 to 22 and felt the light switch moment multiple times. Each time I dealt with him, his feelings for me turned off quicker and quicker but he always came back. I finally shut the door on him but I’m still bothered by the fact that this is my first experience with “love”.

I’ve had a few narcissists in my life that were financially abusive-they would lose interest once they knew that I wasn’t going to buy them a “boat” with my mortgage money, or I wasn’t going to pay all their bills & work all day while they sat & did nothing. They would find richer, “prettier”, bigger suckers, and bye-bye! They’ve taken all they can from you, and they don’t even have the DECENCY to end it before they’re sleeping with their new target.

@kayligo

Жыл бұрын

So true. They will drain you financially and emotionally and still be husking other people behind your back. I don’t know where they get all the time and energy. It’s like they never sleep, they just suck everyone around them dry.

@user-kt4cz1fs9c

7 ай бұрын

That's the truth 😂

"Just a narcissistic cheek clapper."😆😅Lee is crazy!

@MentalHealness

Жыл бұрын

😂

@stephthecreative6312

Жыл бұрын

Cutting up! 😂

@tangletwister583

Жыл бұрын

Hilarious 😂🤣😂

@kendrakaybee

Жыл бұрын

You know I mean@@ Lee 🤣

A narcissist is never in love to begin with. They are not capable of loving.

@mecpexi

Жыл бұрын

First and foremost always believe the victims. Never blame them or discount their stories. Let them know they are not alone. Allow them the opportunity to speak, and quietly listen being their supportive guidance.

This is the most frustrating part of being with a narc. My ex went from telling me on December 31st that she adored me, to telling me Jan 1st that she didn't want to be with me anymore and wasn't in love with me. Nothing happened, no argument, no disagreement, nothing, she just went to bed one person and woke up a different person... it's just sad and I'm sorry for everyone involved in that situation, including the narc because I just feel like they will never be truly happy.

@BELLA-lt2ws

Жыл бұрын

Did you get out of that relationship?

@RichD2024

Жыл бұрын

@@BELLA-lt2ws sure did.

@spmoran4703

Жыл бұрын

@@RichD2024 Well done 👏👏👏

I'm so happy I found this channel. I saved my own life by leaving, now I need help in restoring my sanity. He might have bent me, but he damn sure didn't break me!

@MentalHealness

Жыл бұрын

♥️

@ChristySmith-um5vp

10 ай бұрын

He can't break what he didn't make ❤

@crazytracy71

10 ай бұрын

@@ChristySmith-um5vp ty for these words of empowerment. I do believe this would b the perfect daily affirmation on my path of self worth. May God bless u tenfold

2022 it all changed. I started standing up to him. He no longer cared for me. It was so obvious. I left. Now, life is so peaceful.

@debbieparks8108

Жыл бұрын

No longer cared….he never cared!

@jonathanomahony688

Жыл бұрын

So true, wants you stand up to them and see the red flags. They sense that you know what they are really. That they are a narcissists and you have figured them out. We are so smart and they can't handle that. You cause a narcissists trauma or injury whatever you call it. Thank God you saw the path out of this relationship. Peace and drama free life .

@sweetoneloves6811

Жыл бұрын

SJS, you did 100 percent by leaving. it is so peaceful without a NARCS. I PRAY I NEVER MEET ANOTHER ONE , IF I DO, I WILL BE THE ONE GOING TO THE LEFT TO THE LEFT QUICKLY.

If you can't 'empathise' with another you cannot build a 'bond' of love which is why when the reality of life sets in and the sex becomes 'real' instead of intense fantasy for the NPD...the switch is flicked to off...and their 'addiction to fantasy and intensity' must be found in another and the cycle repeats.Relationships and love aren't built on sex but on mutuality reciprocation bonding empathy etc

@kimgordon3695

Жыл бұрын

Limerence is not L o v e

The reason why you fall out of love suddenly one day is because you never were in love in the 1st place. It was infatuation. I had this issue before but when I was a teenager because mentally that part of my brain wasn't developed yet and narcissists have that part of their brain underdeveloped/stunted.

@In_TheHouse

11 ай бұрын

Wow it makes sense

“Emotional expiration date!” YES!

@oscarikenna

Жыл бұрын

Trisha Hall,Hope you are not with a narcissist!!

Yup 100% I felt the shift on his energy the day "his" perfect image of me changed. From that day the relationship felt like me being with a ghost. Currently 10 days no contact

@MentalHealness

Жыл бұрын

💯💯

@daniellestaley9432

Жыл бұрын

Good for you. Hang in there.

@anhthuluong2156

Жыл бұрын

I feel the same as you girl

The fact Lee is helping us overcome this hijacking of our lives ❤

@donnaromano7200

Жыл бұрын

Well said 👊

@MentalHealness

Жыл бұрын

♥️♥️♥️

@purpleviolet207

Жыл бұрын

💜💜💜

@cmhwilder

Жыл бұрын

Ugh oh... I see sparks. Crystal and Lee sittin in a tree...whoop!

@leahsummer5852

Жыл бұрын

Yes! He has turned his "flaw, negative", whatever you want to label it, into a positive and helping so many. I've been on Quora for 4 years and not learned as much there as I have from him. It helps to actually SEE the behaviors in videos and the skits he does. Also, I love how he puts a comedic spin on the skits. Instead of crying because I realize the last 5 years were lies and for nothing, for those few moments...I can laugh again, which I haven't had much of with my evil ex. So grateful for the Hammock family ♥

Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me,i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i dont know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her

@juanderuano8969

Жыл бұрын

@jay pritchett wow, how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do i reach her?.

@juanderuano8969

Жыл бұрын

@jay pritchett Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.

@TheSpiritRoom23

Жыл бұрын

Did you get your wife back? How long was your breakup?

My wife has been following you and posting your messages and I thought she was trying to label me but after watching this, I realize that she is finally telling people about herself. Every sign is what she did before she told me she was no longer emotionally connected to me and she doesn’t have the capacity to fix our relationship. This has helped me sooooooo much. This also explains to me why she hasn’t filed for the divorce she says she wants. We have been married for 15 years before me no relationship lasted longer than 3 years I told her she was a narcissist she told me she couldn’t be because she was able to apologize( I could do a whole video on how narcs apologize) but anyway thank you. I now know why we can’t fix this relationship.

@MentalHealness

11 ай бұрын

😮😮

@Mom.3

11 ай бұрын

This low key reads like a Narc’s post. I don’t knowwwwwww…..

@jameilsanders1492

11 ай бұрын

@@Mom.3 how so??? I have been tested for the disorder. I’m not a narcissist. I have persistent depressive disorder. Please explain where this low key sounds like a narcissist.

@Mom.3

10 ай бұрын

@@jameilsanders1492 my apologies. Wasn’t trying to offend. In my personal situation my narc has used my online history against me in this very way. But it would be subtle during rages and after reflecting I would think “what would make him saw that that way?”. Sending healing energy your way love. Wishing you the best.

One time a covert narc told me like a thousand times that he loved me and always will.. then about a month later it all fell apart..

It is more like a high school crush honestly than Real Love. No depth is available for that ....

@caur739

Жыл бұрын

@Arsene Lupin III Modern love / dating is truly a mind field . People are afraid to be authentic .....among other things

@caur739

Жыл бұрын

@Arsene Lupin III 🙌

Narcs never love but you praise God for them releasing you🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 thank yourself for your courage and bravery to break free from their toxic torture and celebrate a victory 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

@AaronGiants-db6vj

Ай бұрын

Yes they jump around relationships never satisfied

This resonates so much with me. I have a hard time accepting how much he loved me at the beginning and how he looks at me so different now. Thank you for confirming what I have felt for so long.

@MentalHealness

Жыл бұрын

you’re welcome

@Royalty369

10 ай бұрын

I feel the same way❤

@royrose1472

10 ай бұрын

Lol i got done the same she made me feel like then one then the switch up it was crazy had me second guessing myself Never again had me feeling like i disgusted her after i fell so hard

@malicedewon1376

9 ай бұрын

​@@royrose1472same here but ill never be weak like that again i swear i wont

@WR12974

4 ай бұрын

@@royrose1472omgoodness! Same here. That dreadful switch-up is no joke. One minute they’re love bombing you, the next minute they’re looking at you with disgust and disdain. Just the worst!

These people cannot be fixed. Respect to this guys integrity, but 99% of them are a truly lost cause.

When it’s gone it’s gone. Don’t waste time on trying to bring it back. Move on. The narc don’t gaf. So happy now since I got out. Lee nailed it again. Good job 👍🏽

@margaretannies4064

Жыл бұрын

So true I want to do the same I'dont know how to get out with them it's about sex and they neets I can't even dress me well or put some lotion on myself it's Al about him 44 I'did put up with him I'did not know about nac until my daughter put Wifi in and on u tupe

When they fall out of love with you, your mental health improves!❤️❤️ You become safer when you realize a narcissist was no one to deal with in the first place. The bizarre things they do as they process the fact that it doesn’t matter if they love you or not is hilarious.

I’m 18 years in an what a ride. Was separated for 4 years an he wanted his family back, just move back in together in January this year and nothing has change. He talk the talk. Enough is enough. Thanks for being open and honest ❤❤❤

@katiejones7587

7 ай бұрын

Yep Mine just wants to move back in and act like nothing is wrong

If you push back from the abuse or if the circumstances in his life change, that's when the lights go off.

A narcissist always leaves a long trail of distrustion

You're helping me get through the pain of being with a narcissist. It's so hard understanding how someone can love you so much, but realize they never wanted to know you and only wanted you to be perfect for them and never point out your feelings. It hurt the most when she moved on immediately after she realized I wouldn't go back unless she also agreed for therapy and to work things out step by step. I appreciate what you've done, not just for me, but for those like me. I hope everyone who is hurting from a narc finds your guidance.

@haitiandoll3218

11 ай бұрын

It’s so hard to not take the bad treatment personally. My experience was short and yet I’m still repairing the damage

@honestlinga1128

10 ай бұрын

May I ask how long were y'all together? What was the last straw for you? Did you think that you were going to leave? Did you feel about yourself after leaving?

My ex fiancé said “I have conscience but I don’t always follow it” That was a moment of truth that should have been a full hard stop!

@michellerosa2133

10 ай бұрын

I said to my husband that he had no conscience and he said What's that? I don't think he was joking! He seriously didn't know. I am still trapped with my narcissist it's been 7 years since I was betrayed and cheated on with everyone under the sun , but he won't leave . I have even been to the court and he just comes back like nothing ever happened. Please tell me what I need to do to get out ! Anybody no one has my back. Even my own family! I am desperately lost and want to be free. The court system doesn't even care.

@gwendolynhazel9431

4 ай бұрын

Mine said I don’t have a moral center. I just don’t want to get in trouble.

Love that part. An emotional expiration date. You definitely feel it and nothing you can do will make it work.

@50cynt11

Жыл бұрын

An emotional expiration date, 🤔huh that’s what I was feeling 🧡

@Greydog184

Жыл бұрын

Yes ! Going anywhere with ourselves or the kids. Something just felt off , like this isn’t fun , this isn’t a happy feeling. It felt so fake.

@Leela11116

10 ай бұрын

makes sense now

@madamejaysynstarot

9 ай бұрын

And then u have to remember, it’s not a YOU problem!!!

I mean thank you for telling us how this affects you because Narcissists don’t really express too much about their side of the story. ♥️

@MentalHealness

Жыл бұрын

♥️ you’re welcome

@mywateverlife5094

Жыл бұрын

@@MentalHealness I'm so hurt. Has he fallen in love so quick and flaunting her everywhere. He has given and done for the other woman so much in space of 4 months than he has done for me in 4 years. I'm embarrassed, shame, and disrespected. He is flaunting her everywhere to everyone and I'm soo hurt. How can I forgive that and they are looking at me like I'm the bad guy for the public outburst I had with him one time for the same girl he left me for, stating she is just a friend. I feel soo sad.

@georgeakoss2624

Жыл бұрын

True

@heiseili9279

Жыл бұрын

@@mywateverlife5094 dont be!! Im the one a narc gave everything to cause of the last girl. Its not great. Its all for show. And it doesn't extend to home life. It sucks like hell knowing he ONLY married me cause of her.

@mywateverlife5094

Жыл бұрын

@@heiseili9279 oh wow, so he has even married you. This is how far they will go. I wanted a baby so bad and so i would not be surprised if he had one with her. Im still saddened by the breakup but i have to fight telling myself its the best thing that could ever happen to me.

I wish I had this information years ago when I was married to a narcissist. I was love bombed and eventually I started receiving the silent treatments and isolation. I never to this day understand why. These videos are very helpful. I just ordered the book that was recommended concerning self love!

@originaleverythingelseisca5977

10 ай бұрын

Yep!!

It's better to save yourself, than to try to reconcile with a Narcissist!

I like the way you explained it, I'm realizing that my " clock is ticking" and the deadline for our relationship is approaching.

@MentalHealness

Жыл бұрын

⏰

@scorpiocara6798

Жыл бұрын

So leave then. He's probably not even a narc but just not interested in you anymore prolly found him another woman. Why stick around if you're not being treated right or up to your standards you don't deserve that you deserve better than that they know what they're doing

@ChristySmith-um5vp

10 ай бұрын

Listen coming from experience do not walk out of your relationship... RUN save yourself because they will make you lose yourself by putting you down. They are very manipulative and energy draining.

Exactly! I felt that moment and nothing was ever the same. He didn’t want a relationship, yet he kept calling and texting being all lovey dovey. Didn’t want to be his backup since I knew he was talking to a new girl.

@adrenajohnson6727

Жыл бұрын

Yeah..that part..

@amessinadress9340

Жыл бұрын

Once I found out there were others. I exited the scene! Not into Community Penis 😕 I went NO CONTACT FOREVER and BLOCKED HIS TRIFLING ASS ETERNITY! 14 MONTH'S Narsassist Free! Best Revenge I am NO longer His 😁

He never "loved" me to begin with. His behavior made that clear. I could FEEL him putting me on a pedistal from the start. He blamed ME for causing his change of feelings, when all that happened is I became a human, and not his fantasy mate.

@MentalHealness

Жыл бұрын

😞😞

@andreaberryman5354

Жыл бұрын

@@MentalHealness His feelings changed when I told him, a day before he planned us going somewhere, that I was feeling horrible and needed to be alone. He flew into a rage, (selfish liar with "zero integrity")so I apologized, said I understood that I had committed a "deal-breaker" (his words), he had every right to be upset, and I guess we won't work out. I was DONE. Went on 2-day nightmare text tyraid. Oh everything was fine suddenly! He threw a temper tantrum again because I wanted a weekend alone. Told me to f*** off, so I blocked him on all fronts. I'm pissed he wasted my time-otherwise, the whole thing was HIS problem. I wasn't allowed to spend weekends without him. We had only been seeing each other since May. And yeah-he meant every horrible thing he said. Thank you for clarifying that part! I really did nothing bad. I was just independant free spirit me-who cannot be controlled!

My narc ex, I think, was capable of feeling love. Problem was when she gave love and felt it in return, it didn’t align with her perception of herself, which was an unlovable, terrible person. Thus she would sabotage it. Pushed me away and pushed me away until I left and then she could say “see, no one could ever love someone like me.” It’s like a self fulfilling prophecy. I’ll also say, the first time we were together (about 14 months) before she drove me away, she was trying. Then she hoovered me for a year, got me back and then her whole motive was vengeance for “abandoning” her the first time. That’s when the weird boundaries, withholding affection, and cheating started. They’re very, very sick people.

@SunnnySkies

Жыл бұрын

Well damn. She was calculated

@ecveiga8

Жыл бұрын

Wow, you have it right on! Good description.

@2KChilds

10 ай бұрын

Sounds like a vulnerable narcissist, or maybe only just someone with a fearful avoidant attachment style. They're the ones who are hot and cold, back and forth, head over heels in love then run away and come back again, kind of people. My ex was the same as your describing and thought he might be a narc, but just suffered extreme neglect, abandonment, and abuse in childhood which created a fearful avoidant attachment style and he was heavily anxious throughout the first part of the relationship, but then deactivated and became highly avoidant for a while. Usually a few weeks later he would come back and we would start again and things would improve, but he would always get scared, or feel judged or rejected in some way, which would cause a hard deactivation and another disappearing act. When he finally disappeared for the last time, I didn't even try to reach out to him again and still haven't heard from him since.

After he came to see me the last couple of times and wanting me to sleep with him I simply told him I was not in the mood. He kissed me I felt like I was kissing the wall didn’t feel a thing for him. Then the last time I saw him he tried kissing me again I did not feel anything he wanted to have sex I just couldn’t that attraction was gone. The only thing I missed about him was the love bombing nothing more. It seem like when he ignored me I wanted him more however I didn’t reach out to him cause I already knew I wasn’t feeling him it was the love bombing that me I missed. Amazing how him being very attractive and my type was suddenly not the person I wanted to be with. Thanks for this video 🙏🏽

I’m starting to understand that I’m a narcissist after comparing my behavior with a person I care about, we are so alike. It’s good to be aware, I want to be healthier, wiser, and pass it on. Thank you for what you do Mr. Lee 🙏🏻💙

@charlotteclark6061

11 ай бұрын

... You going to therapy?

@rahasovereign9510

9 ай бұрын

The Lindell foundation in Minneapolis Minnesota has an excellent record for healing addictions, sex addiction too. In house so you live there awhile

When I felt she had flipped the switch, and it was a distinct feeling, I started getting panic attacks. Shortly later found out she was shopping around for boyfriends. Absolutely shattered the image of the person I thought I knew, and thereafter found out how absolutely carelessly cruel she could be. Bizarre experience.

@prettyricki2222

9 ай бұрын

Careless and cruel are the words I used as well

My exe narc always told me that I had a problem with people around him where as the main problem was how he openly neglected me and shaded me with every opportunity he got amongst the same people that he said I had a problem with them .I was confused for 8years in the relationship because I couldn’t understand how he can love me and still speak Ill of me at every opportunity he gets.

@Mamadagreatt

Жыл бұрын

I am going through the same thing

@katfairyblessed1203

Жыл бұрын

Omg exactly my experience! And when I talked to him and pointed out his non- loyalty, he denied it.

@jamorrasignatures

2 ай бұрын

Exactly the same experience

This makes so much sense. One day I was his everything and I’d make one small mistake and then he would question our relationship. This gave me so much anxiety to be perfect for him and knowing he can end it at any minute. Never was an anxious person until him. Yup we know.

@shirazirani7034

9 ай бұрын

Exact same just that I was his everything and one serious question and he ended the relationship within minutes. Two months and he's gone to new supply. Unbelievable..

@asiah797

9 ай бұрын

Same here.

This is my current experience. He did everything for me. It felt so intense his love towards me. Growing up around abuse he was the best thing in my life. He was so kind and caring. Then just one day it switched and things got uglier. Now he completely looks at me with disgust. He blames me for and calls me out saying I’m annoying for laughing and joking with coworkers. We work together. He makes me question everything like what can I do to fix it. I feel this huge amount of guilt like I wasn’t good enough. Listening to this makes me realize there wasn’t anything I could do. Thank you for this channel. It’s giving me strength to let go and be free. Sending continuous healing and strength to everyone and may 2023 be our year of blessings. Sending love and light to everyone 🙏🏼🧿🤍

Wow! I love the poetic way u put this heavy topic. Spot on! He told me one day "the energy is diff. it doesn't feel the same anymore" I was so confused bc I felt the same love for him. It didn't change for me. But I knew what was happening bc I already did my research on NPD and knew he had high traits. He came back after 2 months and tried to re-ignite the fire but he wasn't feeling it still and I could tell he was struggling too but as much as I had sympathy for him, he had none for me and devalued me again. I walked away before being discarded a second time. We can't be too sympathetic bc when this pattern keeps happening, they have a responsibility to get help and go figure out why in therapy like we had to go heal from this in therapy 👏

@sunnybein1

Жыл бұрын

He began to see you as a caregiver rather than the fantasy he once saw you as.Watch Cluster B milkshake she explains it very well.

@MentalHealness

Жыл бұрын

🙏🏽

@adrenajohnson6727

Жыл бұрын

Glad you where able to recognize the illness and break the cycle!!

@timawima

Жыл бұрын

@@sunnybein1 some just get bored and see u as nothing. not exciting anymore. I'll check out her channel and that video. Thnx

@timawima

Жыл бұрын

@@adrenajohnson6727 I'm glad, too! We are not as sheepish as they'd like to believe.

Once the narc paints you black, there's never going back

You are not acting proud…. You are simply educating people on what you have learned and what to look out for. That’s great!

That is an oxymoron because a narcissist can never love their partner. They can't fall out of something they were never in...

Thank you for explaining this, Lee. This was so devastating with my ex-narc. My love was growing for him and whatever he felt for me died. I remember very early on him telling people while we were out that he found the one. I thought that odd since it was so early in the relationship. Definitely true about them not wanting affection. He was over the top affectionate during the love bombing stage but once I fell off that pedestal there were so many times he did not want to be touched. It was so hard for me because I was so attracted to him and wanted to touch him and be affectionate still. That door has closed, I'm over him, never want him back and I thank you for your fantastic videos.

@lakisharobinson873

Жыл бұрын

Don't you feel like you were bamboozled....tricked with toxicity.... it's horrible to endure

@daniellemorse6929

Жыл бұрын

@@lakisharobinson873 Yes, completely. It is a horrible thing that they put us through knowing that we are deeply in love with them while they are deceiving us. Stay strong!

@iraidushka

Жыл бұрын

The one I was involved with would tease and dangle the carrot, even though I could see he was constantly hard around me. He hated my sexuality. In fact, he was jealous of it. He sadistically withheld intimacy from me. To punish and he used to tell me that I like to f…k a lot even though we had sex fewer than 5 times during our entanglement, which lasted for about a year When I realize he will nothing but tease and put off all of affection I only grew to hate him. It was disgusting and humiliating period of my life. Do not fall for looks or charms of a narcissist. Right now, the first signs of disrespect and neglect I detect from a man, I immediately end things. I learned the hard way. My needs will never be undermined.

@paulinechu5453

Жыл бұрын

Same!

@kimgordon3695

Жыл бұрын

💔 my heart breaks along with You

When a narcissist falls out of love with you. AKA near death experience.

@MentalHealness

Жыл бұрын

😵‍💫🥺

Lee saying “look look look look!” with his eyes blinking like that: it reminds me of that little boy saying “Linda Linda Linda honey, Linda!”

I'm from south africa and unemployed. I'm struggling with stage 5 of anxiety and depression. I'm glad I left but I'm so lost because I allowed a lot of things. Thank you 💐

@lemonspring6425

Жыл бұрын

We all allow a lot of things till we come to a point of full detachment. Don't beat yourself up for this.

@thenativeconservationist

Жыл бұрын

My sister I’m the same. Modimo oteng, He is for us all 🙏🏽

So accurate. They don't know what love truly is. Longevity is foreign to them unless it's to be their long term punching bag. No accountability leads to no growth. Really awesome to see you make true efforts to learn & grow for yourself and your family Lee. I wish my kids father had. He got himself in a whole criminal hot mess with new supply.

@sgtmuffinbadger6147

Жыл бұрын

Accurate

@margaretannies4064

Жыл бұрын

Hi I'm in 44 years with narcissist and don't know if but since last year I relys it I can't not anymore put up with his shit and nonsense I'm 65 years of age and I never ever had a nice live I'dont know what it'is to belove probably it was just about him and he never said sorry he is so cruel and that don't give into he would tell me he's gonna change I want to give in to him feel sorry but then I think he is playing on my feeling because every year he said I'm gonna change don't know wat to do anymore family and friends said don't leave you bean together for so long but they don't what I did go thru and is still going thru I'm sick and tired of this live I have did mess my whole life up with this man I'dont know anymore.

It's not love! It's a feeling of want

I noticed the moment I stop needing him he hated me. When I showed him I saw through the bullshit and I’m good without him. He expressed hate. It’s weird trying to grasp the concept that someone you loved and did you do dirty can hate you and you’re not allowed to express the same emotion.

@flom2517

Жыл бұрын

Yea he’s definitely disconnected from long time ago but try’s to keep my presence around even though he doesn’t like me

Narcissist they need to continue to stay in therapy. I dated one that would always GAS LAMP ME. The only way u can hurt them. Is dump them and never deal with them again. And this destroys them badly. I seen him in the market and ignored him and he was cussing at me , I just walked away leaving him looking like a fool. Narcissist they hate to be ignored. Glad I left him

"A narcissist cheek clapper." That's a mighty lofty ambition. 🤣 I just can't with you. I can appreciate how you express yourself so well.

@JL-hm5om

Жыл бұрын

I nearly lost my breath laughing at that and thought...who else with me on that! He's so funny!

@Awilli9071

Жыл бұрын

@@JL-hm5om 👋🏼 But we just love him, don't we? I heard someone say something that had to do with the "diagnosed, self-aware narcissist." It didn't sound like a compliment so just in case I sent a message to that rascal letting them know green is not their color. I don't know about others but this man here, Dr. Romani, and a few others is how I cut my teeth. Thank you. 🤣

I feel this so deeply, there's absolutely nothing left he doesn't care about me at all and I can see that. The moment I decided to start working on myself, taking my life back, and stopped giving him my paycheck he just wants nothing to do with me anymore. But why is it that he won't let me divorce him and be done then? Why drag it out anymore? I don't know why he wants to stay married to someone he hates, doesn't live with, and doesn't want to be with? What is the motivation to just keep me in limbo?

@jwm4ever

Жыл бұрын

If you have children he doesn't want to pay child support and if you're married a long time he doesn't want to split up your material assets, HIS Pension, etc. That's the ONLY thing keeping a narc married and he can just cheat on you any time he wants. Also, if there's a risk to HIS reputation in a bad way he will stay for as long as that takes, putting on a FAKE face to everyone. He's making his plans to exit, and hiding money too. So you need to do the same. He's just playing his game. All about HIM. And he can't stop you from filling for divorce. You still split up everything and will get child support. That will destroy him because he will lose all control of things.

I can remember the exact day it turned and the decline started. His only daughter announced she didn't want us to have children together because it meant she would be loved less, and I realized she was in charge of our relationship. In hindsight I should have left then but it took another 18mths -2yrs of bickering about it and him telling me he would change it (but actually made it worse)

You are probably one of the best KZreadrs that speaks about narcissism. I've heard quite a bit of videos of narcissism, but it seems like you are at the top. You do a very good job describing your feelings. Personally, I think narcissism is a demon or demons messing with people. I believe everyone needs to be careful of particular thoughts that come to our minds. We can't always trust the way we feel either.

@MentalHealness

Жыл бұрын

I appreciate it

very helpful video. I've realised that I have narcissistic traits myself and have a therapy appointment next week. You are right that it's worse when you are self aware because you then realise that you are the main issue in the relationship. I'm scared that I will never truly be happy with any woman and that's sad because we only get one life and to know that one life is spent with a mental illness or personality disorder that I personally feel like has been beyond my control, is horrible. I'm just glad that I realise now at the age of 34 so there may be some hope yet. We 100% do not set out to hurt people, we want to love and feel loved but as the video describes....like the flick of switch something changes.. discovering why that happens is now going to be an ongoing mission.

@_Anna_Nass_

Жыл бұрын

You can get better, I believe in you :)

@d.h.2745

Жыл бұрын

I am not someone to tell you whether you are or aren't narcissistic and I'm not trying to make light of what you've discovered but we all have a bit of narcissist in us whether we want to admit it or not. There is a line though. I've even had a therapist tell me this. There is a point where it crosses into something else. We've got our crosses to bear

This is what happened between us. After many many years , we went through so much but when he was through I could feel it & see it & he told me* It tore me up. I could tell it was over for us for good*

Omg. He was always convinced that I was talking sh** about him behind his back to my family. Regardless of the fact that it wasn't true, he was convinced. Yet I kept overhearing his family talking bad about me and he flat out denied it constantly and would yell and scream AT ME ABOUT IT! Still denying it! Grrrr he makes me insane!

recently got left by one. caught her in a lie about where she was and she absolutely discarded me. she was wonderful at first and awful towards the end, she got got worse and worse. i was depressed until i read the birthday card she gave me while in the love bombing phase. then i realized, this wasn’t even the same person lol, what i was chasing was that. the woman from the love bombing phase that seemed perfect. had to realize that person is long gone and wasn’t even real then i got over it immediately.

They just move on and act like you never existed!

Because they were never in love in the first place.

@MentalHealness

Жыл бұрын

😵‍💫🥺

Lee every single thing you are saying is absolutely correct. Unfortunately, I married a covert narcissist and it has been the most unbelievable, painful and traumatic experience! Your videos have been extremely helpful in my recovery! Thank you! I am divorcing him!

@SaltLake180

4 ай бұрын

You r lucky to be able to divorce. I can not!

Oh my gosh!!! You hit it on the head!!!! I just call him Bipolar because of these DAILY mood swings and changes in behavior. Thank you for verifying this

without you lee i don’t think i’d be able to heal, thank you so much for your videos

@didokinney9173

Жыл бұрын

Yes, now I know it wasn't me

It's a mental health condition. Having NPD/BPD is exhausting. Sorry I missed you in Austin!!!

Already commented but I also want to address where you said that they will project their feelings about themselves onto you. That was one hundred percent correct. I really think my ex did that. They tried to convince me that I hated myself when I don't. I think that's how he feels about himself. He also tried to gaslight me all the time and it didn't work.

I believe what your saying my husband says his love has died out for me. I’m dealing with mix emotions that I’m trying to hold on or go to counseling but he doesn’t think anything wrong with him. 😢 I didn’t know anything about narcissism until I started searching on behavioral traits of my husband. I’m trying to hang on because I’m a Christian and I know god doesn’t like divorces..

My ex didn’t act differently until I stood up for myself and I started looking at him differently.. he always told me how much he loved… he said he could always leave other girls easily but not me. I got him to take therapy and he was put on medication but he wouldn’t take it religiously… which had terrible side effects.

My narc did this to me ….one day quite a while ago I knew things had changed …. Could just tell one day , just by how he was ..the spark had gone from his eyes ….let alone all the bad hurtful cruel things he had done and still does to me …the way he looks at me , the way he speaks to me , the way he touches me and doesn’t touch me ….all changed …but he don’t care or ,understand the impact of the damage he’s done and still does .. my one doesn’t love me , never has ..just loves what I do for him ….he’s put me in hospital cos I tried to be what he wanted …when I shouldn’t have …he’s even stolen from me and I took back what he took cos I got told where he hid it so I took it back ..he also stole my happiness , my sanity , my emotional well being , my confidence , my heart and shattered it into tiny pieces …. I have nothing left now ….. my biggest mistake was taking him back when I left cos he promised me he would change …..he changed …for the worst … and All I did was love him with all that I am , but I was never good Enuf in any way shape or form ….plus I’m a empath 😭 …now I have to love myself and forgive myself cos I can’t forgive him for everything he does and still does to me 😭

@Shirley101

Жыл бұрын

⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️Living with a Narcissist is a worst type of living ! The gaslight and lies! Get a basic analysis of what your partner does in secret! This professional can get you TEXT MESSAGES! CALL LOGS! EMAILS AND SOCIAL MEDIA all clouds (DELETED AND NON DELETED MESSAGES) It helped in my divorce and custody cases msg him anytime 👆👆👆

@Shirley101

Жыл бұрын

⬆️⬆️⬆️👆👆👆 Living with a Narcissist is a worst type of living ! The gaslight and lies! Get a basic analysis of what your partner does in secret! This professional can get you TEXT MESSAGES! CALL LOGS! EMAILS AND SOCIAL MEDIA all clouds (DELETED AND NON DELETED MESSAGES) It helped in my divorce and custody cases msg him anytime 👆👆💯

@floatablehen5234

Жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry, I'm going through it with you.

@ninath13

Жыл бұрын

Leave now ask God to cover

@KittyCatFurbabiesMaria1972

Жыл бұрын

@@floatablehen5234 sorry to hear that , sending u love and healing ❤️‍🩹 x

Waking up one day and realizing he's treating me a little different, looking at me a little different, is so real. That's pretty much exactly what happened, and there was no apparent reason. We had had a "fight" the night before, which was really just a discussion that he seemed to want to purposely escalate. It was over something so trivial that I never would have imagined it would change his feelings towards me. But that next morning I woke up and (now I know) the mask had fallen off. I remember he gave me a look when I walked out the door to leave for work that day that looked like the devil was staring straight into my soul. He discarded me 2 weeks later. (Hoovered me back twice since then but that's a different story).

@TheSpiritRoom23

Жыл бұрын

What happened when he hovered you back in? I think I’m going through the same thing and I just fell for his hoover😮‍💨

@coley8880

Жыл бұрын

@@TheSpiritRoom23 Ha let me tell you what happened when he hoovered. First hoover was different because we had stayed in touch as "best friends" (lol) in the 5 months we were broken up (and he was pursuing other supply). When his other pursuits turned fruitless he suddenly wanted me back and we got back together in one night as though nothing had happened. We stayed together for the next 7 months. Then he went away on a work trip (we are both professional musicians and travel a lot for work) and the first time new supply looked his way, he discarded me and within 1 month he was official with her and parading her around social media. I went no contact the second we broke up that time. That was in June 2022. Four months later, he reached out to me to tell me that things had went downhill quickly with the new supply, they had broken up a month before, and in fact things had gotten so bad that he had a mental breakdown and had to leave his contract early and had been home since August. He told me she was abusive, that he had no real feelings for her and he regretted leaving me the whole time. He told me how much he had missed me and how little this girl meant to him. He was going to be traveling to her city a few months later and he said "don't worry about her when I'm there because I'm going to be avoiding her the whole time." Said that he and his whole family referred to her as "that bitch" and they all were on my side. I was set to leave on a 6 week contract just 3 weeks after he reached out. In those 3 weeks, he came on strong. Making out with me and holding my hand every time he saw me, calling me late at night for hours, initiating plans, talking about the future and nostalgically about our past. No one in the entire world would have mistaken it for anything other than him wanting me back. He was so convincing and I threw all caution to the wind. The night before I left we said goodbye tearfully. We went out and he spent the whole night hugging and kissing me. As soon as I left, his texts suddenly became dry and he stopped answering my calls. 2 weeks later, I get an email from him saying "I realized I want to keep our friendship strong but that a relationship is not right for us and we should be open to continuing our lives with other people." 2 days after that, I get a call from a mutual friend saying he was back with the previous girl- the girl he left me for in June and had just spent a month talking about how abusive and awful she was. Now they are living in the same city and he is once again parading her around social media. This was almost 3 months ago and I am still shocked and confused. Sorry this was so long, but telling the story is therapeutic. I do not recommend accepting a hoover.

@TheSpiritRoom23

Жыл бұрын

@@coley8880 omg your story almost sound like mine😮‍💨 and that’s okay you wrote your story I understand completely how that feels getting it off your chest. I broke up with mine around June 2022 too and he kept trying to Hoover me in😮‍💨 I finally accepted his Hoover after Thanksgiving and he’s been perfect until this month started and now I’m confused. He’s telling me he need space all of a sudden, calls became shorter, he gets snappy with me and have random attitudes. I keep asking him is there some one else which my intuition is telling me there is but he keeps saying there isn’t anyone else. I REGRET getting back in a relationship with him and I should’ve stayed strong (I was so strong) I think I gave in because he kept begging and pleading, sent me flowers and promising he’ll change but it was only for two almost three months and boom he’s back on his BS. They’ll never tell you the truth about how they really feeling and who they’re seeing. They’ll just have you lost and stuck plus they’ll try to use you as much as they can especially if the new chick broke up with them which can cause a narcissist injury. As soon as I figure out how to get out of this mess I’m keeping my distance for sure. I kept a little diary this time so I can remember all the ish he put me through just in case he tries to Hoover again once I leave. I think yours will be right back just give it time for some reason they always have the audacity to come right back. He’ll eventually put the new women through what he put you through because they’re never happy nor satisfied. She’ll soon leave him. It’s disgusting how they think and operate and I am sorry you went through all of that. Im wishing you a happy, healthy healing journey♥️

@coley8880

Жыл бұрын

​@@TheSpiritRoom23 I'm so sorry you're going through this. I found out he went back to her on December 13 and emotionally I'm still where I was on that day 3 months ago. But I have to say that I know deep down that this feeling is still not as bad as the feeling of being in that relationship and being constantly confused by the hot and cold, mixed messages, strange behavior, etc all the things it sounds like yours is doing to you now. It hurts so much but if he's suddenly asking for space that can only mean one thing especially when you're dealing with a narc. Believe me I regret every single day that I didn't ignore his hoover email because I was going SO strong, starting to heal, and now I'm back at square one. I understand how hard it is to resist the hoover. I wish you strength. Keep seeking support on here, I'm so grateful that the narc survivor community online is so strong.

I can’t believe how perfectly you describe my last relationship. People throw around the word narcissist a lot these days I feel like and so I’ve been very cautious, and a bit hesitant to throw that one out entirely confidently but if the shoe fits, I suppose… And it sure does- like a glove. Well like a shoe. A shoe glove. Lol

@MentalHealness

10 ай бұрын

shoe glove lol.

Yes that light went off when Lolita called him out on his crap. That was the end of that relationship. I'm glad it's over. Now he is love bombing all over. Block No Contact

@MentalHealness

Жыл бұрын

Stay strong

Should hire an app developer and design a game about Love Mountain with the Narcissist etc. cuz it’s all a game. 😂

@MentalHealness

Жыл бұрын

😅😅😅😅

It is the most intense life changing love. I love him to much. I feel like I can't live without him. My heart is still so broken. Every time he calls for me to start over again I will be there!!!

@MentalHealness

Жыл бұрын

that sounds draining

@barbimcka

Жыл бұрын

@@MentalHealness but completely exhilarating and amazing when we are on he makes me feel I feel like I can fly and I can do anything I put my mind to, when it's at pause I feel like I can't even tie my shoes

@helloify498

Жыл бұрын

@@barbimcka same here I love him so much and miss him. It's veryyyy hard 11yrs it's hard for me to live without him.

@shaniecegullison

Жыл бұрын

@@helloify498 10 for me

@katfairyblessed1203

Жыл бұрын

Trauma bond - big time! How did your parents treat you?- a Person who has a healthy self love- will not attend that game, person damaged by their parents in the past… will go back to a mental abuser… better start therapy instantly as soon as it is off again and move on- your soul is worth true love!

My husband discarded me threw me & the child on the streets (tho im back until I find shelter) he has told me he disconnected from the marriage & since then given silent treatment & tho I wanted the marriage Im dglad to let go of the evil twisted emotions of discomfort he brings. He always act evil a few days before holidays but afterwards transition into the love phaze I finally caught on to his ways to now i enjoy the silent treatment the being gone all thru the night and when he comes in my gutt drops into discomfort of having to tiptoe and watch my back. I don’t like going thru this but grateful these types of videos has helped me understand the importance to not operate in my heart feelings cause the heart will jack you up keeping you in bondage of misery…. I’m waiting for the income it takes to move back to my home state & I know then ill be safe & okay rebuilding ip my life & ability of love. I refuse to let the devil steal kill & destroy my heart life from love he can keep the man but not my heart Amen 🙏🏾 keep me in yahl prayers!!!! And thank you for your kindness to expose these type of people…

@angiehayes7397

11 ай бұрын

You just put into words how I feel but unable to express so eloquently. I share in your pain. 32 years just...gone. Gone forever 😢

On my healing journey and feel a lot better than I was in a relationship. I don’t have to worry about anything or feel bad for the things he made me feel. The longer I’m in the relationship, my brain gets hijacked and I was totally delusional think that sth is wrong with me like he told me for feeling the way I feel. I don’t even feel emotionally safe anyways. I need to protect myself and my mental health. I don’t hate narcissist people but it’s sth beyond I can help or fix them. I need to pull myself out of it so I can heal and be who I am, loving and caring for others again. Your channel helps so many people and very eye opening. Keep it up and thank you for the videos😌💕

Thanks for explaining to me what happened. I thought there was something wrong with me when he changed

That feeling of love vanishes quickly. The narcissist quickly create a reason to NOT love again. It’s sad. It was a complete rollercoaster ride. If the narcissist know that poof, the live feelings are gone, why don’t they get help. That pisses me off. He created reasons why he mistreated me. Pretty much he blamed me for his addiction and why he cheated. It’s just sad. I would prefer narcissist stay out of relationships. Save yourself the agony & confusion of love and the partner from hurt. Simple.

If you walk away first, regardless of their cold shoulder- they want you back just to start the disregard all over again. So sad to be so cold blooded.

You are speaking of my last 17 years. Im in my 5th year of therapy,lifesaver!

@MentalHealness

Жыл бұрын

🙏🏽♥️