I'm an INFJ and my boyfriend is INFP. I was nodding while I was listening to you because I could recognize him. I also agree that INFJ s and INFPs have some special connection full of trust, I can really relax with him. On the other hand, I agree again, they are dreamy and a bit slow to react, it can be frustrating. They like to sleep a lot and rest. What I like the most is that we never talk "smalltalk", we always discuss different topics, he reads a lot and his knowledge is huge. I noticed a big difference between INFJs and INFPs is that J wants to settle down, while P wants to "keep things open"..... he likes that we are in relationship, but settling down and form a family sounds like "a lot of work" for him😂

@annethepaladin3235

2 жыл бұрын

Ahw that's cool that you are in this relationship Marinela! I think it might be very awesome to have a super supportive and inspiring partner like the INFP. But yes their inaction, that would be exactly the thing I would fear would bother me in a relationship. I always need to move forward and I need someone that wants to do the same. Otherwise I will feel stuck with them, because I am so sensitive to my environment. I imagine it's the same for you...

@marinelalarsen3736

2 жыл бұрын

@@annethepaladin3235 Agree❤️ I feel stuck with him, I hope that we will still be friends after I explain to him that we can not continue as a couple. Because it's not easy to find a real honest friend... Specially not for us, INFJs😁

@robnat2821

2 ай бұрын

My heart is broken in this moment... ​@@marinelalarsen3736

I am an INFP and take a long time to answer messages due to obsessing about wanting to word it exactly the right way, so that it gets the message out authentically and without being misinterpreted or causing hurt feelings. I have also had messages go unread for three weeks because of being so introverted that I don't get many messages and forget to look at some of my accounts.

I really appreciate your perspective. I'm an infp and what I love about infjs is our deep understanding of each other. I've learned that in order to respect an infj I can't put them on any kind of pedestal. Even tho y'all out there being inspiring right now. I feel your pain and get you infj.

Great video Anne. I enjoy listening to your perspectives. When you speak about comfort zones, there is alot of credence. I think INFP inactivity or struggle to actualize their inspirations is more involved and complex. I personally struggle in many cases with conflicting values in terms of priority. Almost like picking a sacrifice. And in other cases there is self doubt. We get used to being overlooked or pushed aside and based on those experiences, expect no differing response or receptivity to having our ideas even be seriously considered by our peers. Of course, with self doubt comes the fog of anticipation for negative outcomes. Trying to envision all potential paths through the forest, can make it confusing to pick a path to travel. I believe it was in a video from Matt Sherman who advised trying to limit those potential choices to make it easier to pick. I'm glad I found your channel, hope you're well.

watching the video I thought: what a pleasant honesty, that sheds light on illustrative nuances that we as introverts cherish. These nuances bring colours to my INFJ reality that the outside world can't evoke. After the video, the next click revealed that "radical honesty" is kind of your mission. Sounds very good, keep up the good work!

I appreciate your ideas on the interaction between these two types. I’m an infp and recently struck up a friendship with and infj. We have great conversations and connection. I was so thrilled to find out that he was an infj. I couldn’t wait to get to know him better. I really also look up to him and the way his brain works. So I hope you can also see your value in relationships with others and what you offer to others. Thanks for the video.

I just kind of stumbled onto this while watching some infp related comfort vids to wind down for bed and I thought it was both very sweet and also accurate as to my experiences for the most part. One thing I will say from the other side, I have had a few friendships with female infjs that were very close for a while and then fell apart probably directly as a result of romantic tensions. However, I did get to experience closeness with a female infj without the risk of that once and it was great. She was my boss (and I feel that proper ethics and keeping work and personal life separate are important) in a non profit project building compost sites for community gardens and we made such a good work team between her ability to plan and my ability to brainstorm, along with some social skill aspects where we compensated for each others weaknesses. I ran into her a week ago after it having been over a year since our project was complete and we parted ways and I did not express it in the moment but it made my entire week when she invited me to come visit her at the library (which she is working at doing a social work role because our city is in a bit of a homelessness crisis atm). Anyway you seem like a real sweetheart, keep making videos, I see why the infp guys like you lol.

@annethepaladin3235

10 ай бұрын

Thank you for your supportive words 🙏

So with this pedestal it is true truth. The INFJ I met seemed such a more composed and better version of me. When we see you, we say to ourselves "finally someone with morality and standards, finally someone similar to us - great, juhu!" : D Anyway, we see the disadvantages of infj, but we don't really like pointing out what hurts us in others. We hope that you will guess what causes us pain and you will come to a change in yourself for the better. Thank you for the warm words on behalf of infp and gentlemen in particular. Unfortunately, do not blame us for the attractiveness of sexuality, such rare unique ones as you always arouse interest in our lost heads - infp. All the best. Greetings from Poland. P.S INFJ are very intresting species :D i learn a lot from study your type.

@Zellonous

15 күн бұрын

I agree. I'm injf and it would be nice to be Impartial to men and women in the same way but I am still a man and I still have feelings. Even if I'm not attracted to the usual things, sometimes a certain woman will near send me into a panic attack and they don't even have to know I exist. It's weird. I don't like it. But we are all human and we all have to deal with the weakness of our flesh.

INFP A here. Probably an ennegram 4w5 as well (from what I've heard)... I think INF's in general can keep secrets because we are loyal and empathetic...

Thank you so much for upload this video. Infj's are the best too! You all have something indescripteble that make us feel attracted 😊

Thank you for this... clarity and peace of mind.. This is so true for an Infp like me. I deal with my Infj daughter and a friend. You people are fascinating! Thanks for this

@annethepaladin3235

Жыл бұрын

Glad you found this relevant 💙

This was a great perspective!! Thank you for sharing! I am pretty sure I'm INFP! It takes me longer to reply to texts and messages because I too need to find the right moment where I can reply with my full attention. I like having extra time to think about the reply. I can't stand "half assing" anything and need to give it my all in everything I do.. that includes replies, lol! I'll reply in the same day, just not immediately! As for initiation, I'm horrible at that and I really appreciate it when others do it! Especially when I don't really know them very well or don't feel reassured that I'm not annoying them. I try to reach out randomly but it doesn't come naturally for me. I have a friend that's.. maybe INTP? Or IS.. she never initiates things so I happily reach out from time to time. More so when I know she is going through things.

I find your comment about the male INFPs and sexual tension interesting, and it makes sense to me (as an INFP). Personally, I've always craved deep connection with people and with life, but for a lot of my life I approached that in an immature way. Maybe this is related to an insecure attachment style form childhood in my case, but I've always felt the most comfortable connecting with someone when there is an underlying (or outright) sexual or romantic interest. And so as I've gotten older, I realized that I've been limiting my deep desire for connection by linking it too strongly with sexual/romantic interest. I've been getting so much better at being able to hold space for people, and open up with people without some expectation or hope/desire for a specific outcome, and that has actually allowed me to see and connect with people much more deeply. I wish I had learned this at a younger age lol. On the issue about taking time to reply, I'm guilty of this. Part of it for me is that I also want to give proper attention to the interaction, and so even texting/messaging taps into my social battery so to speak. I can only spend so much energy on social interactions regardless of whether it's in person or via text. Social anxiety only exacerbates this.

Haha, so true! I am an INFP. Thank you for understanding us so well!! LOL

INFP male here romantically involved with INFJ female, for 6 weeks. Most of what you said was spot on, from our experience.

Hi Anne thank you for your thoughts on the INFP personality type. I can share my experience as an INFP male but not all INFP's, male or female, will share the same sentiment as me. Kind of obvious but just felt that it needed to be stated. Whenever someone described me I would described cute but aside from from our appearance what would be considered cute? I'm a male INFP so i never saw myself as a cute person nor have a I tried to act in a way that was cute to appeal to others yet I get described as cute nonetheless. Maybe it's our childlike wonder (in the form of positive ideas that could be) that we have every now and then but other than that I don't really see it so I was hoping you (or anyone else) could elaborate on that. I think Fi is always wanting to do the right thing and wanting to understand things on a deeper level so that might be why an INFJ is able to relate to an INFP where Fe wants to do the right thing for everyone and also wanting to deeper their understanding. Personally, as in Fi user the drive to do the right thing has always been in me and it's part of who I am so I was wondering about how Fe plays out for the INFJ. Going through life I noticed there are some people that do the right thing and others that don't so I'm curious how Fe could bring others together under the same roof if that's how Fe even functions. I think even i put INFJ's on a pedestal because we see you as more mature, more wise, and more "together" than an INFP where we see ourselves kind of childlike and all over the place where being childlike isn't really seen as being a respectable trait especially when you're an adult. I think INFP's generally don't see their strengths because their traits aren't extroverted that can be seen in the physical reality. Even I still have a hard time identifying what good qualities I have if there are any. I suppose another way of putting it is that the things INFP's bring to the table isn't valued necessarily in society (massive tangent I know but it's something I wanted to address, personally). I think when an INFP see's an INFJ they can see the order they have in their life and interpret that the INFJ has things going for them when an INFP usually doesn't have anything substantial going for them from their perspective (inferior Te at work but that at the end of the day it's just an excuse but still a struggle for INFP's until they can grow their Te through doing more in the physical reality). Furthermore, i think INFJ's have Ni so they have a future goal in mind which orients them towards a specific goal whereas INFP's have Ne where their thoughts are all over the place so there doesn't seem to be a future goal that an INFP can see and use as a directing post (made up word) to direct their life in a particular direction. INFP's are wanderers until maturation (i think). With the lack of contacting others I'm completely guilty of this. INFP's are generally in their own space doing their own thing and for me specifically if i don't respond immediately it's usually because I'm dealing with some emotional turmoil in that moment. I think what's good to know about INFP's is that that emotional state they're in can take front-and-center stage so that clouds their entire being in that moment. Or they just want to be alone. It usually almost always has to do with how the INFP is doing and rarely has to do with the other person. For ghosting people I think it can be quite apparent when the other person has wronged them in some way. I think INFP's usually don't know how to confront others if there is an issue in the relationship because they don't know how to resolve it in a respectful way towards others but more importantly respect for themselves. INFP's tend to have low self-worth (maybe it's just me) so the idea of doing something for me and treating myself fairly is something that I recently found out about and am working on. The other reason for ghosting is simply not wanting to have to go through the emotional battlefield that is dealing with relationship conflict but that is also under the pretense that they don't know how to properly and respectfully resolve conflicts. Thank you all for reaching out to us. It means a lot to the INFP and I'm sorry we aren't able to reciprocate that in a timely fashion. Know that it doesn't have anything to do with you and everything that has to do with what we're dealing with in that moment.

As an INFP, I don't tend to initiate small talk conversations or meet up for the sake of it. With people I know well, I assume they are busy, and that if they really need me, they'd visit me in person or contact me by email, which they do. When I do spend time with them I am fully present and try to make them feel emotionally safe so that they can talk about anything without feeling judged. The underlying assumption I have, and I suspect a lot of INFPs have, is that if you don't contact me then all is well with you, and you are just doing your own thing, but when you visit me, you will have my undivided attention because I care about your emotional truth. Of course, when I'm going to places where I don't know people, I can put on an act and be a bit more outgoing so I don't come off as aloof, but with people I know well, I want to go deep and talk about what troubles them and the goals they are struggling to reach, so small talk is very limited. I love to stumble around in the psychological wasteland with people, but I also recognise there are often just a few times in life when people need someone to sit in the darkness with them and tell them they are doing well. The rest of the time people can get by with more surface-level conversations about TV shows, etc. I'm there for you when the dark night of the soul is long and you just need someone to listen to you and validate your emotional truth, but I'm not the guy to sit around the office cooler and shoot the breeze with because things will get very deep quickly.

To me, INFP are beautiful chaos

12:34 accurate. I always ask my sis what her opinion is on my outfits cuz she knows best.

I think that can all be true but have you ever discussed important controversial topics with an INFP? It seems to me like in that situation they show a completely dogmatic side and couldn't care less about logic, objectivity and balanced perspectives, which then drives me absolutely crazy and makes me not want to ever again put effort in the friendship (because what's the point of being friends with someone who only cares about his own perspective and nothing else).

@annethepaladin3235

2 жыл бұрын

Man yeah you have a point there. I know this can definitely be a potential issue, but it's not something that I have experienced with them until now. INFP's can definitely follow ideologies far beyond logic, I know that. But there are some ways to work around that/with that I think. One, is that your INFP friends have about the same values as you in the first place, second by trying to translate your controversial stuff into something that they can relate to from the point of their values. I think if anyone can do that last thing it's the INFJ. But even with all that I imagine you might still clash at some point. Hasn't happened to me yet, but it might some day...

@gehdochnicht

2 жыл бұрын

@@annethepaladin3235 That's a great point too. I think when I was younger my INFP friendships were pretty good, probably because I myself wasn't so aware of many things and also didn't feel the need to figure things out. But the older I get the more I realize how silly it is to have a one sided view about anything, and and I need to surround myself with people that care and make an effort to try to understand EVERYONE's perspectives and points of view, not just their own. I think the main problem is that my entire life has turned into some sort of truth-seeking journey, and my need to discuss things stems from that. But they too easily see it as a personal attack.

@flowerchasethesunshine9063

2 жыл бұрын

As an INFP I think I'm pretty open minded, curious, like to learn always and understand and accept different opinions and views. I discuss about my points of view and don't expect people to follow. Very chill. But don't expect me to follow yours either. Yes, when I see something as a personal attack I can be very defensive and stubborn / confident and steadfast. Let me be me as I let you be you. Don't try to skew INFPs from their Fi because that's what they're supposed to be best at. With Fi it's not us who don't understand objectivity, it's you who don't understand subjectivity, lol. Yes, I think the problem is that the topic is communicated/received as a personal attack.

What problem do you have with your hair, fiddling around with it all the time? Please come to the point faster. Had to increase the playback speed to 1.5. INFJ, Sigma

@annethepaladin3235

4 ай бұрын

I changed and improved my hair care a lot since then, thank you for the concern 😜 Good thing that speed option exists then

Longg introo

INFJ-T Indigo. If Limerence is your favorite life to live then go for a INFP. You can see how that works out for you. I door slammed her and I will not allow her back in my eternity. She earned that and now I will go back to solitude for at least 5 years and then I can enjoy my life adding to the 29.5/41 years. Good luck with the worst possible experience in your life.

@annethepaladin3235

2 жыл бұрын

I read you have had a very bad experience being romantically involved with an INFP. That sucks, I'm sorry to read it. One person is not a good representation of the entire INFP population of the earth though, so in other situations it may be very different. I have never dated an INFP so I can't speak on that from experience

@alisonfisher1877

Жыл бұрын

I’m sure you’re a saint and in no way flawed so it couldn’t have been so awful because of anything you contributed to the relationship. She must have duped you into getting involved with her, she didn’t actually have any qualities you found attractive that drew you to the relationship in the first place. What an abusive witch she must be since she didn’t experience her own pain and it’s all completely and entirely her fault. 🙄

@superxomar4489

Жыл бұрын

NOOO MAN, dont be a beta male u gotta marry at your 20s, it is written in the book, whoever doesn't marry at his 20s loses his life, you will lose alot man trust me bro, you are what now 29.5 it had been 4 month now you have 2 month now come on speedrun marriage with your hyper super ti child intellect so you can SAVE YOUR FUTURE.

@alisonfisher1877

Жыл бұрын

@@Invisibility397 and yet you self-identify as Turbulent, don’t know how to spell vice, and think someone else dating an INFP will lead to a similar experience as your own. Being able to list many different kinds of emotions does not equate to a high EQ. Knowledge does not equal wisdom. Relationships usually are a reflection of the relationship to the self. Can you look in the mirror and see anything beyond what you’ve listed here as qualifications that demonstrate your hypocrisy? How does someone end up in a relationship with the kind of girl you described if they’re so obviously and objectively awful? Lots to think about perhaps… 🤔

@Dgn404

10 ай бұрын

That is pretty insulting.. A few parts of what you said there lead me to believe that maybe you were a big part of the problem.

Too much rumbling! Just go to the point

@annethepaladin3235

Жыл бұрын

Or you can practice patience 😇

@kieth900

Жыл бұрын

@@annethepaladin3235 that is true 🫢

@chrisschroder3812

Жыл бұрын

@@kieth900 you not understand INFJ 😆🤣

@kieth900

Жыл бұрын

@@chrisschroder3812 I do I’m one of them!

@chrisschroder3812

Жыл бұрын

@@kieth900 lol then it makes more sense and you have rights, yes lady get to the point😆

I’m an INFP and I loved this video 🫶 (and I hope this is proof that more mature infps do initiate contact haha!)the pedestal thing is true…but at least in my experience, not in the way you think haha. I never think infjs have everything figured out in the earthly realm but rather as you perfectly pointed out that you “live our values” and to us that’s very rare. Like Aglaya, INFP, said in The Idiot (Dostoevsky) to prince Myshkin (INFJ) “there’s no one here who’s worth of your intelligence or your heart! You’re more honest than all of them!…” it’s quite true. What I love the most about infjs is that they are both able to understand us and understand the world simultaneously and it’s incredibly rare for us to be able to truly communicate with the world. Fi makes it hard for us to say what we want and to make the impact we visualize but infjs are like day-to-day translators imo. It’s like they speak both languages. About the ‘not initiating contact’ thing, it’s pretty true but it’s usually totally unrelated to what Fe users think happens. Most of the time the reason we don’t answer quickly it’s because we are organizing our Fi feelings and our Ne goes haywire trying to figure out what is likely to happen afterwards. (That’s one of the reasons we use lots of emojis because maybe people can get the wrong impression from mere words??) but believe me unless we know you incredibly well most of the time we won’t even think about the Fe implications of a thing. ❤️

@annethepaladin3235

Жыл бұрын

Ahw thanks this is such a lovely in depth comment. Also thank you for clarifying some things from your perspective. I'm talking just about how I perceive things to be, but I don't know completely what is going on in your head

@jyc313

Жыл бұрын

Since you’re an infp, can I ask you something? Is it fairly common for infps to go through periods where they are more social, talkative, bantering more on texts, then go through periods of quiet and slightly distant? Any reasons why?

@pinksalt4214

Жыл бұрын

@@jyc313 hey there! Well,in my experience yes this is extremely common. I imagine it must be weird from the outside looking in haha but I do this fairly often. I think when we become distant it’s probably the outward manifestation of our Fi ‘re-arranging’ itself, considering Si experiences and Ne-thoughts to reinforce our values. I’ve noticed my other INFP friends do this too: we kind of ‘retire’ from society for a bit so that no outside impression affects our Fi. Once that’s done, we usually want to share our new discovery with the world (our inf. Te is pretty involved in this part of the process) and we become extremely talkative and social (because we’ve found meaning in those things now!) but if and when something strikes us as worthy to consider and possibly add to our value system the process begins again and it’s like a never ending cycle. 😅as Sylvia Plath (INFP) puts it: “I am capable of affection for those who reflect my own world.”