I haven't self harmed in 7 months ☺️

@jungkooksbarbiedreamhouse5984

7 жыл бұрын

leah marie good 💛💛

@saraplazinic2487

6 жыл бұрын

Congratulation! Keep fighting!

@ashtonmarie6336

6 жыл бұрын

leah marie congrats!🎉

@meghantucker452

6 жыл бұрын

leah marie you go! Keep going your awesome!

@22rebeth

6 жыл бұрын

I hope that you've kept up your perseverance! If you have, good for you!!!!

I self harm because it's the only way I can release the hatred I have for myself.

@thereader7510

6 жыл бұрын

Joy Rose

@Anayaah421

5 жыл бұрын

Joy Rose same

@NancyGonzalez-vv9mh

5 жыл бұрын

Joy Rose I understand you because I self harm myself

@theeggomovie1972

5 жыл бұрын

I’ve never heard of anyone else who does it the same reason I do so I’m glad I’m not alone in that

@dekobro2368

5 жыл бұрын

Joy Rose yea same

I like the way you say “we” and “our” and that you don’t describe it as a sinful thing

I started self harming by punching my legs when I was angry, I always lived with big purple bruises on my legs but only a few people noticed, they thought I was clumsy. I wanted someone to care about me and help me because my brother had attempted suicide and been diagnosed with BPD and he had so much support and I had no one. I started digging my nails into my skin but it would only leave a mark for a day, I had noticed a few of my friends had started to cut and thought maybe that would be a better idea. Soon I started cutting my legs every night and I would have scars on my legs all the time. People started to talk about me but nobody seemed to reach out. I realized this didn’t help anyone to notice I was suffering so now I cut for my own reasons, I cut because I deserve pain.

@salsabvute5185

4 жыл бұрын

Hey I don’t know where you are in your life right now but I hope your doing well. I realized you didn’t have any replies so Ill be the one to uplift you! No one deserves what you have gone through and I’m sorry that no one has payed attention to you. I can relate from personal experience. IT SUCKS!! I can’t say it’s gonna get better because I don’t know you and your life, but I hope you hang in there. No one deserves to feel unimportant or like they deserve what the get. I hope you learn to love yourself and realize that when you have your own back. Nothing anyone can say or do can hurt you❤️

@durpyrainbowp8405

4 жыл бұрын

Sal Sabvute even though it doesn’t mean as much since I’m not Chloe, thank you for writing this. I hope they see it soon and take what you shared to heart.

@salsabvute5185

4 жыл бұрын

DurpyRainbow :P It means just as much. Your welcome💖

@Elite_Sturmgewehr

3 жыл бұрын

Sometimes I grab something sharp and cut my skin

@SmashtheCmachine

3 жыл бұрын

I never could cut. But I have snapped my leg with chains, I have violently beat my own head with solid plastic objects, the butt of my hand, and even smashed a glass jar over it (and yeah, got cut by doing it), and started blistering... heating up metal and plastering it against my skin, and lately started putting cigarettes out on my own face.

I like that she says we (...) insted of saying they (...)

@huddlespith

8 жыл бұрын

completely

@riotxxx

8 жыл бұрын

+Iris Esteves Same, it really helps. It's strange that more professionals don't do the same, since it makes so much sense.

@starkillermatt91

8 жыл бұрын

+Iris Esteves professionalism

@crystalreiser8153

6 жыл бұрын

Iris Esteves also it's setting boundaries too

@amberrose1249

6 жыл бұрын

Iris Esteves my friend does this whenever I talk about my problems. She is always like "what are we going to do about this" instead of "what are you gonna do about this" it always makes me feel less alone it's such an amazing thing I've tried picking it up myself to use for other people Bc it makes all the difference

I harm because I hate myself and as a punishment, the pain is the goal because I feel like I deserve it for being like I am

@sarahnorton3748

10 жыл бұрын

I hope you keep working on talking back to that self harm "voice"...I have similar thoughts, so know you are not fighting alone! I know you don't deserve to be hurt, and I hope you can find ways to nurture and be gentle with yourself (it can be very hard at first!) ...hang in there, you can beat it- don't let the jerk self harm voice win!

@aztocaligal5957

5 жыл бұрын

MagicalHannah12 I can relate. Thanks for this!

@sarahbethluckey2700

5 жыл бұрын

this is also the reason that i harm, thank you for sharing so i know i’m not alone

@carleflores9065

5 жыл бұрын

:c

@harrietfletcher-hall7651

5 жыл бұрын

i relate to this. nice to know we are not alone.

I like doing it because then I can look at the scars later. They give me confirmation that whatever I felt was real because if it wasn't I wouldn't have made this scar. It's like whenever I feel guilty I self harm so that I can get the confirmation that that feeling was real and I wasn't just making it up.

@cleitonlin2488

3 жыл бұрын

I hit myself up with a belt everyday before studying and doing my physical practice it helps me want to do my activities

@ruthgenesis1203

Жыл бұрын

same here

I cut because the pain in my head makes me feel like it will explode and cutting relieves that pressure. I also do it to stop myself from committing suicide.

@thatlibrarysmell720

5 жыл бұрын

Storm Aurora Same. Please don’t commit suicide. You seem honorable and you have good taste in profile pics. Also that would be one less person I could relate to.

@videocadet

4 жыл бұрын

I’m sorry to see that nobody else has commented here. Know that you are unconditionally loved by all of those who believe in you. Not just the people close to you, but even strangers you have never met. *sending unconditional love* FIGHT ON! 😁

@bearloafing

4 жыл бұрын

I used to do the same thing, it used to be a way of handling my emotions I was thought I shouldn't have. Dissociation, as kati mentioned. I used to cut so I can have something to focus on, the pain was kind of a focl point, something I could concentrate on when I felt emotions I fought were 'illegall' to have and I didn't know how to handle. Later on, as cutting is really not socially acceptable, I moved on to alcohol and drugs, as they kinda served the same purpose. A decade after my last cut, I'm still struggling with the same problem, but now I'm finally aware of what the coping mechanism was used for, and that helps a lot- understanding the process behind the behaviour. It's a difficult and slow process, but it's a start.

@evanstomlinson6167

4 жыл бұрын

You are loved sweetheart. Please remain safe. And reach out. I'm sure videos like this may really help. 💜🙂

@AaronEllisOfficial

3 жыл бұрын

Me too. If I dont "let it out" of my body by cutting, i eventually end up having an anxiety attack

I thought you made a very good and non-judgmental point on the "doing it for attention" idea

Whenever I self harmed, it was to release the emotional anger/pain. When I was really upset, it would feel like my throat was closing and I couldn't cry, and when I self harmed, it relieved to closed throat feeling and anger.

@shyviolet7520

8 жыл бұрын

That's exactly how I feel when I self harm

@Lav3nd3rForest

7 жыл бұрын

me too, especially when I have a bad day

@ashp5793

7 жыл бұрын

Renea Ramsey same

@skeletonsinscarves3965

7 жыл бұрын

i was the same way, i couldn't see the scars years afterwards but these days i see them more clearly. i remember also doing it to dissociate

@al.kenzie

7 жыл бұрын

Renea Ramsey exactly!

Two weeks clean today, it’s been incredibly hard but I’m proud of myself😊

@kyshiajacob8470

4 жыл бұрын

Are you still clean ?

@busssygrumbles9684

4 жыл бұрын

I'm 7 minutes clean🤧

@evanstomlinson6167

4 жыл бұрын

Amazing! You are hope and love 💜

@narchleor9862

4 жыл бұрын

Kendrick IM SUPER PROUD!!!

@narchleor9862

4 жыл бұрын

Jackson Morris you can do it!

Also self-harming as a punishment is a thing. Although I pretty much don't do it anymore because I realized that it doesn't actually help achieving things. I do do the anger thing. "Experiencing anger inward" made a lot of sense to me. I don't do anything serious though, usually just punching. The most extreme thing I've done was scratching, but it was just once, and I was in a really dark place in my life at the time

@IamMissPronounced

5 жыл бұрын

I absolutely used to self harm as a form of self-punishment. Because I have PTSD I have to actively work to remind myself that I'm not to blame for everything, otherwise I feel the urge to turn that anger inward, like Kati said.

@llbabyk1234

5 жыл бұрын

Sanny we all deserve happiness. & saying you "didn't do anything that serious" downplays your trauma. We all deserve to have our traumas taken seriously. Something happened to make us feel like that. I've been there, head slamming, scratching with sharp scissors ..never went far enough to cause real harm but I still needed someone to take me seriously. I hope life is better for you now.

@thisisntallowed9560

5 жыл бұрын

I self-harm out of shame

@niaig1456

4 жыл бұрын

サニャSanny wow you’re really strong 🥺❤️💞☺️

@dancingpencil2

3 жыл бұрын

I also see cutting as a self punishment tool

I know for me it was I would rather feel the physical pain rather than emotional

@SmashtheCmachine

8 жыл бұрын

+laura wright OH YEAH. Same reason for me. It's almost like a trance, a sense of nirvana, as the physical drowns out the emotional.

@sagelatte

8 жыл бұрын

That was the only reason I ever cut myself

@renearamsey4406

8 жыл бұрын

Yeah me too. Because the physical pain ended while my emotional pain wouldn't go away.

@cedricburkhart3738

5 жыл бұрын

I remember being a little surprised when I accidentally cut my self. I thought why do I feel so much better.

@TheFebruaryDragon

5 жыл бұрын

I agree with this. I haven't self harmed in about 3 or so years, but I do remember that I used to do it because I had no one to talk to or be there for me and felt incredibly alone. I felt so much pain inside and used self harming to in a way so that the physical pain cancelled out the internal pain I got from emotional abuse.

I just now started self harming, and I think mine is self harming. Its like my mind is at a war, "stop seeking attention" and the other part "no you need help, come on, somebody listen" I'm so tired, one part trying so hard to fight and be positive, the other part ending up tearing me apart.

@karaharrison4334

7 жыл бұрын

💞I understand...

@vanshpuri8921

7 жыл бұрын

thankyou

@Existingalive

7 жыл бұрын

same, I used to self harm and now I do again

@sarahmccarty1372

6 жыл бұрын

AHHH SOMEBODY PUT IT INTO WORDS🙌🏽

@BlackCampariBlue

5 жыл бұрын

It was similar for me, I hope you do feel better now and received the love you need

Kati's eyes shows how deeply she cares about people

@esterbengoa6077

4 жыл бұрын

So true. She makes me feel loved and cared for, maybe because she's not judging me.

@amsumathyanilkumar7389

2 жыл бұрын

Yes

When I'm angry at myself I self harm...and its oddly satisfying.. I feel like part of my anger just go away... and when I try to control not to harm myself, I feel like those anger won't go away... its frustrating..

@sunnishae5047

3 жыл бұрын

Same whenever I get frustrated or just angry I just start punching myself in the head to cope whenever my feelings get overwhelming even over stupid stuff and I've been like this for a long time.

@samaraberry3394

3 жыл бұрын

Its because physical pain is just so much easier to focus on than mental pain

@recoveringlibertarian5982

3 жыл бұрын

I thought I was alone, with the head beating

@JayaLakshmi-tm5vn

3 жыл бұрын

Same here

Hi, I am a middle aged guy who had a lot of physical and mental abuse when I was younger. I self harm as a way of coping when things get to stressful I tend to cut my body in various places. I'm just pointing this out, because most people tend to think It's a teenager thing! But Whoever you are, when reading this! Please be safe!

@rayac578

7 жыл бұрын

Mark hello! :) I see that this was written about a year ago. I was just wondering how you are doing :)). I hope you worked through it and if you still havent, I know that you can fight through! !

@WindyKelleykpop

6 жыл бұрын

Mark I understand you

@interlude4700

6 жыл бұрын

I hope you're doing well

@lexy5316

6 жыл бұрын

Mark, I hope you're doing well.

@dr.mywifefuckingdivorcedme

5 жыл бұрын

I hope you're doing okay, Mark!

when you talked about being numb and that being the reason...hit me so hard...

3 years self harm free today! 🙂❤️

@playgirl4249

4 жыл бұрын

A how are you now?

@madzazmarland3785

3 жыл бұрын

Amazing, well done

@akezia8829

3 жыл бұрын

@@playgirl4249 going on year 6 and I’ve never been happier in my life. No matter what life throws my way, I’m able to use the correct coping skills to avoid self harm. Recovery is very real and something that’s achievable for all of us. 🖤

@playgirl4249

3 жыл бұрын

@@akezia8829 I’m happy for you ❤️

@jasminsanny4269

2 жыл бұрын

I hope you are still fine even after 3 years of commenting that

I have resisted the urge for 4 weeks now...struggling to keep going strong but trying my best! :)

@haylee7951

4 жыл бұрын

Taekook Fanboy I’m struggling with this too. Especially lately. But I’ve been clean for a long time now and I don’t want to feel guilty so I’m trying rly hard to stay clean.

@evanstomlinson6167

4 жыл бұрын

Amazing. You are hope. And Love💜🙂

@sad-fv5jo

4 жыл бұрын

i've been clean for 4 months now!! you got this trust me!!

@madzazmarland3785

3 жыл бұрын

Keep going sweet

@richardmanduch5104

2 жыл бұрын

@@sad-fv5jo Congratulations!!! I wish you all the very best!!! 😊🙂

I will just dig my nails into my skin until I like almost bleed when people make me upset

@crabby3424

7 жыл бұрын

I do that but rub my nails into my skin until I see blood. Thing is I don't stop afterwards.

@elizaracle5045

7 жыл бұрын

Same

@christienbbrooks7334

7 жыл бұрын

I do the same thing!! My hands are all tore up and when something going on or I'm worried or anxious, it gets really bad. I'm glad that I'm not the only one that does this. Thanks

@izzyg.1933

6 жыл бұрын

me too

@leoc9102

6 жыл бұрын

Me too

Physical pain takes away the emotional pain that feels worse then the physical pain. It takes your mind off the emotional pain, like a release.

anyone weirdly addicted to see her/his own blood?

@marissabracamonte2593

4 жыл бұрын

Yes!

@notengelch4292

4 жыл бұрын

Omg, I thought I was the only one lol

@pubalipaul9500

4 жыл бұрын

Me

@strawberrymochi5207

4 жыл бұрын

Fanny Kupcsik yes when I cut it’s I keep going till I see blood when I do it makes my feel Happy to see I was successful on hurting myself I know sounds weird

@nathanhall8757

4 жыл бұрын

yup

The strange thing is, I’ve noticed I have different ways of self harm depending on how I feel Like when I’m angry I punch myself, and when I’m sad I cut myself

@samaraberry3394

3 жыл бұрын

The reason i dont cut when im angry is because im afraid ill go too deep, and then its not a punishment its an attempt. Its easier to batt at yourself when you’re angry.

@rosemaryrobinson2417

3 жыл бұрын

@@Vinawina101 Yeah, I know what you mean, Brandy. I feel like I can't tell anyone because they might put me away or call 911 or think I'm suicidal which I am not, so I don't say anything but I want to because I want comfort as well. I don't know how to stop either but I finally prayed after slapping my face with both hands as hard as I could and then cutting "loser" on my leg. I prayed and then when I was about to hit again, I was able to stop myself a lot easier than usual! I'm here for you, if you want to write me something here. I will pray for both of us...we will be okay, I know it and I really hope that you will start to feel better and have comfort. Thank you for your post, I thought I would never have that ONE person to tell this to, and here you are. Thank you, Brandy, for being in this world :) We both have bright future's!

Sometimes when I self harm it is because I had a very stressful day, because I'm dealing with anxiety and sometimes to cope with anger. BUT normally i just to do it because I feel the need to do it, like something in my head triggers and I have to do it. The whole point of self harming is the blood and the scars, It's never about the pain, I mean the blood brings me a lot of relief and it amaze me, the more blood the better I feel, and it is the same for the scars because I see the scars as trophies, I find it beautiful (It's really hard for me to explain it, to transmit the whole idea) If there's anyone who can relate to this we should maybe talk.

@bunnyringeisen2579

7 жыл бұрын

that's how I feel too. thank you for trying to explain it in words

@im-at-home

7 жыл бұрын

Andy Carreau same, for me the blood is the reason

@carlyyanne8

7 жыл бұрын

Andy Carreau I totally relate to what you're saying. ! It was always the blood that I wanted and I wouldn't stop until I cut my self deep enough for the blood to flow out. And I was never happy until I felt I drew enough blood, but looking back the funny thing is I started out harming and didn't even draw blood half the time and towards the end I was only satisfied if cut deep enough to where I may have needed stitches... interesting how that developed

@that1person695

6 жыл бұрын

Andy Carreau a part of me felt that way too. It always felt wrong knowing why I was doing it.

@shookyology8681

6 жыл бұрын

I can relate to this in the same

I've started self harming again yesterday after stopping for a while. I don't feel good at all. I feel so pathetic..

@superladdercat1642

7 жыл бұрын

xXSilentSoul Xx

@annebannan9817

7 жыл бұрын

xXSilentSoul Xx I know that was a while ago but still... something that helps me is to not focus on breaking a no self harm streak, and focus on the fact that you lasted so long without doing it. Relapse just happens, but if you can go longer and longer without self harming after every relapse then in a way you're getting better. :) And it's okay if you need to take a step back before you go forward.

@mariahwilliams5333

4 жыл бұрын

How are you doing?

@evanstomlinson6167

4 жыл бұрын

You are a fighter!! You are amazing. You are hope and LOVE💜

@xxshin_shinxx1247

3 жыл бұрын

Me too....and no ur not pathetic

i have always felt if of it as a competition with myself. like “last time you cut worse, last time it bled” and then it gets worse.

@teenyweeny3005

3 жыл бұрын

dude same

I relate to both the silent screaming and self punishment forms of self harm. I usually would cut sentences on my forearm. Because I’m an artist, I would use the blood to paint a picture in hopes that someone would hear my screams for help. You are spot on with your explanation.

Most of the time I self harm when I am unable to stop thinking of suicide. So basicaly I am using it as a distraction from suicidal ideation. I also don't hide the cuts especialy when they are on my arm cause I just dont care.

@cedricburkhart3738

5 жыл бұрын

lady wolf That's sad.

@jirlboss8269

5 жыл бұрын

@@cedricburkhart3738 that comment is three years ago, I don't think you'll get an answer..

@cedricburkhart3738

5 жыл бұрын

@@jirlboss8269 Yeah you are correct.

@nm1278

5 жыл бұрын

Same

@princessminmin1785

5 жыл бұрын

PLEASE hide fresh cuts, they can trigger people like me, to cut :(

I used to self harm for attention like that. I just wanted someone to know how badly I was hurting but I couldn't put it into words. I still do it sometimes, but differently because it developed from that into me doing it to relieve my frantic feelings when panicking

@ayladelphine3794

7 жыл бұрын

BabyBeetroot same here. i dont like how people say its attention seeking. because even when it is. its because where hurting so bad that we wont someone to see and to tell us its ok.

@sophiebates1971

7 жыл бұрын

BabyBeetroot me too! I want someone to tell and do something about how I am feeling but I don't want to have to say I need help because I feel people might think I am just overreacting

@infinitejellyfish1591

6 жыл бұрын

BabyBeetroot same here!!

@lavyumor

6 жыл бұрын

THIS.

@brandonscholfield7198

6 жыл бұрын

This is relatable. I’ve found no one has ever spoken to me about it however. I’ll put cuts on my arms and bites on my hands but no one seems to care, so nowadays it is only for relief, but there is no substitute I’ve found

So, I only bite, pinch and sometimes hit myself and I’ve for some reason always told my self that that isn’t ”real” self harm. Cause there is no scar or blood or anything like that. Just temporary marks that go away. And for me I’ve done it because it stops all the feelings that feel out of my control. Like anxiety, loneliness, numbness or panic.

@saraa6336

3 жыл бұрын

omg same i do that every day but i didn’t know it’s self harm

It puts emotion into physical feeling and physical feeling are a lot easier to deal with

i need someone to hug me

@Amela874

8 жыл бұрын

I am sending you a huge huge hug, but you also need to do that for me.

@CowllHatesHumanity

8 жыл бұрын

+Urszula Gadowska ofcourse

@musicnow5744

8 жыл бұрын

big hugs

@musicnow5744

8 жыл бұрын

Hugs

@tombalabombification

8 жыл бұрын

+CowllHatesHumanity SUPER HUG!

A self harmer, cutter, burner, for 40 years. I just finished a full year, no SH. Of course unless you are a cutter, it's hard to understand why we do it. But your video here has shed a lot of light and I hope a lot of clinicians work harder on learning to understand how to help the self harmer.

@sarahnorton3748

10 жыл бұрын

WOW, WAY TO GO!!! That is a very impressive feat- I hope you are very proud of you, and I am excited for you to be taking care of yourself, and you are inspiring me to keep fighting for myself! Well done :)

@MirandasAngel

9 жыл бұрын

Thanks, I do feel a sense of achievement. I'm glad to be inspiring you. Keep taking care of you. Thanks again, Always here if you need to chat.

@MirandasAngel

9 жыл бұрын

Thanks

I usually self harm bc i feel so much that it’s overwhelming so I hurt myself to become numb bc self harming is making me calm.

Just relapsed.. after being clean for a year and more, it just makes me feel so good..

@howdyfucker443

3 жыл бұрын

@@jhopesprite1335 same

I used to find that when I argued with my Mum, I would suddenly flip and hit myself continuously in the head. idk but I feel that maybe I just reach a point where I'm so full of emotion and I don't know what to do with myself so I lash out momentarily :(

@elma2828

6 жыл бұрын

Me too i would get so angry that i start hitting myself

@mathildecolls

4 жыл бұрын

Same, except i bite myself (arm or hand)

@procrastinatingmoth1876

4 жыл бұрын

Same. I hit myself in the head or face. I would get big bruises on my cheeks and my mom would ask where did i get them. Even tho i really wanna tell her how our arguments make me feel but i also don't want to hurt her and make her feel like a bad parent (she already does). So I'm just here continuing to hit, bite and cut myself 👀✌🏻

@mathildecolls

4 жыл бұрын

@@procrastinatingmoth1876 same with the biting part. At least it doesnt leave any scars like cutting

@procrastinatingmoth1876

4 жыл бұрын

@@mathildecolls most of the time it doesn't. i still have one bite scar tho

I dont do self harm to get attention... I did it silently.. And it feel so GOOD..

@yellowgoose5043

3 жыл бұрын

Same....

@meggwith2gs

3 жыл бұрын

Yes....except sometimes in public if i hit the losing shot in tennis or mess up at running, i have to hurt immediately because delaying the pain makes me weak...i have to hurt, i can't stop.

I never knew what self harm was until I was actually doing it, and I started looking it up, my mum saw me self harm but she didn't do anything about it, I self harm to express self hatred, and to express anger, and to feel pain.

It's been many years since I've cut, but I did as a teenager. 1. It made the emotional pain visible. 2. The physical pain distracted me from the emotional pain. 3. It gave me something to take care of... Like I would almost ritualisticly cut and then clean and bandage the wounds. 4. It hurt less than before, which may have been the endorphin release thing. It's been 15 years or more since I've done it, but I still get shooting pains down my arms when I'm sad which was usually the precursor to cutting. I just push it down now.

I really appreciate that you don't pretend you know absolutely everything about the topics you speak about. You are a really helpful person, thank you for posting these videos

Pain was definitely not the goal for me when I was a self harmer, I got a huge rush of calmless when I saw my own skin divide and expose the fat and blood underneath. I'm glad my brain doesn't work like this anymore, to anyone reading this you will find happiness, some day.

@cedricburkhart3738

5 жыл бұрын

Broccoli Queen How do you know?😭 It's encouraging to hear but that doesn't mean it's actually true.

@aricleveland503

5 жыл бұрын

Yes I love watching when the flesh underneath starts to get red spots and then pools up.

I’m an LPC and I am so grateful for you and your content! Thank you!

@Katimorton

3 жыл бұрын

You are so welcome!

I self harm because it’s a distraction. Like basically if you burn your hand and then cut off your leg your no longer focused on the pain of you hand but on the one from your leg.

the anger one was like whoa that's what I've been feeling? it was anger and stress and frustration? whoa... so I'm not the only one?? it was weird but i had to pause the video and think for a minute lol

The anger example is so accurate to me.

@ashleighmitchell2484

5 жыл бұрын

김당순!💕

@mariap-xs1vt

4 жыл бұрын

Same

It resonated so bad with me when she said it was silent screaming, because although it's not the primary reason why I do it, I kind of want people to notice and take it seriously. a lot of times you can say you have depression, anxiety, etc but they won't really take it seriously unless they see actual consequences of what depression did to you. plus, it's more subtle than announcing I Have Depression out of nowhere

I self harmed when I was in a really dark place by scratching and bumping my head. It was usually when I was in a conflict with someone (and boy was I fast at being hurt) and normally I totally broke down, screaming and cursing the person and thinking about how the world would be a better place without me. I don't self harm physically anymore, but sometimes when I'm feeling worthless or really misunderstood or under pressure I still feel the urge to scratch myself again. I don't know how, it was such a liberating feeling. Such as "everything is awry but at least I can show what a piece of sh*t I actually am. At least I can set everything aflame". It kinda makes emotional sense for me, although it's confusing when tried to be verbalised

Does self harm also exist as a form of self punishment?

@jaidan3153

8 жыл бұрын

yes

@littleliyaloves6794

8 жыл бұрын

Yeah they do. I do it as punishment. Often very impulsively without even thinking and sometimes in front of people.

@christinab.2864

8 жыл бұрын

Sure not to me but to punish someone else.

@SmashtheCmachine

8 жыл бұрын

+Yuliya Zhelbakova The only time I've done it in front of someone was when they made me angry. And I stared at them while smiling as I did it. Usually, though, it's because I can't make sense of my emotions, and am stressed, and the pain is actually like a warm blanket on a very cold day.

@jjsol374

8 жыл бұрын

I make incisions on my legs when I embarrass myself or do something that angers my parents. Or if I feel like I've been selfish about things. Especially with the Christmas time. I'd be upset that I asked for 3 items when everyone asked for 2 or 1. So I'd self harm to punish myself for being so selfish and inconsiderate of everyone else. Fortunately, my 3 closest friends are the only people who seem to care about me, since I've seen people not to give a crap about me (probably because I'm a male), when I was in public breaking down. Even so-called "friends" didn't do anything. Then I got upset with myself for crying in front of everyone. So it'll sometimes be a vicious cycle. I haven't had any medical attention, mainly because I don't want my seeing a psychologist or going to a hospital being an inconvenience to them.

self loathing, that's my issue and the reason I do it.

@SmashtheCmachine

8 жыл бұрын

+AngeliaChanel I have self loathing, but that's actually not the reason for me. I do it when my emotions start running rampant, and the WONDERFUL pain sort of puts me in a trance. Calms the raging storm inside.

@hermionegranger5108

8 жыл бұрын

+I'll vote TRUMP over Shitlery and I hate Trump! - I totally agree! I only stopped because of a promise to a mentor. Even though that was in October of 2015, I have come so close to breaking that promise more and more......

@user-zu7mm8ni8x

7 жыл бұрын

Same, I do it because I punish myself for being such an idiot

@cedricburkhart3738

5 жыл бұрын

But you wouldn't loath another person if they had the same thing that makes you loath your self.

Ive used self harm to ground myself when I'm freaking out and over thinking. Its like channeling the emotions I can't deal with into physical pain is easier to handel

Discovering this a bit late, but watching this was really helpful for me. I suddenly started battling the urge to self harm in my late 20s and early 30s, and I have been really confused as to why these feelings came on seemingly out of nowhere. Hearing you describe one of the reasons as “turning the anger inward” is exactly what I have been going through. Feeling alone, isolated, and having nowhere to turn with my pain and anger except to turn it on myself. Thank you for sharing this.

I just wish I could understand why I choose to SH when things are actually looking OK in my life. Everytime things are at a standstill, or a calm place (as far as my ED, SH, and drug use is concerned ), I have this strange desire or this craving inside to mess it up. It's like I'm uncomfortable with growth and positivity for myself but I love to see it for others. I hate being so destructive.

@annebannan9817

7 жыл бұрын

Jüdah Morgan God damn that was three years ago but I'm gonna respond anyway. I'm the same way with depression and self harm, I don't want to let myself get better in a way. Anytime anything starts to look good it just makes me so uncomfortable and guilty, like I don't deserve to get better. I feel more comfortable and content with myself when I'm really low, because it just feels like what I need.

@inbalbenbenishty6801

6 жыл бұрын

YAJA how are you?

@inbalbenbenishty6801

6 жыл бұрын

Annebannan how are you?

@healinginafricamymentalhea7692

5 жыл бұрын

Its called Munchausens. Or Factitious disorder.

silent screaming... yeah that resonates a lot. not that i'd have admitted it at the time. while i was self-harming i was so convinced of my success rate in hiding it in plain sight... but i really think, looking back that part of the problem was that there wasn't any followup.

@sugarskull3771

4 жыл бұрын

I completely understand

I am sad... but I don't want everyone look pitty to me when I am in crying and depression.... I slap my face till my cheek so hurt

@evanstomlinson6167

4 жыл бұрын

Stay Encouraged and Strong. 💜

@ariaachann8331

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah me too

That book cutting has changed my life, how I looked at myself. It helped me understand what I was going through

It helps with control but most of all focus. when I am spiraling and having an anxiety attack self harm is an immediate thing i can focus on and for 5 minutes my brain stops running a million miles an hour.

I do it because I like the feeling after it... I feel proud og how I was able to handle the pain, I also like covering it up and being concerned of hor making it up so other people don't notice. I like seeing my scars... of course I know it's wrong but sometimes I just don't care. I like the feeling after I'm done like I accomplished something

@jessicanicole1757

9 жыл бұрын

Katzia Ramos I feel you. It seems like you can't do anything right but If you hurt yourself and you do it 'good' than theres this kind of relief and the 'voice' who's telling you 'See i told you you can do something good and next time i want you to put more effor in it'

I'm crying throughout the whole video 😭 hug me

@girlplease2452

4 жыл бұрын

Khiara Cruz I will

@evanstomlinson6167

4 жыл бұрын

🤗🤗🤗You got it girl!💜

@NICOLE_THE_SIMMER

3 жыл бұрын

🤗

@certifiedlouvregirl2077

3 жыл бұрын

Sends virtual hug 🤗❤️

@caitlincintron6457

3 жыл бұрын

virtual hug 🤗 💝

5:00 Its the other way around for my friend. They told me that they self harm because they are experiencing so much emotional pain and they use physical self harm to numb the overwhelming feelings of their emotional pain.

I'm 20, my whole life and still now I am abused emotionally by my mother... No one believes me... But it happends.. I've self harmed for 7 years... Because i'm made to feel worthless and pathetic, I was never allowed to follow my dreams... I'm finally taking a long trip to travel Australia even though she threatens to kill herself because i'm leaving.... I don't think self harm will ever leave me because now I feel so badly about myself and my mum just encourages it in a way...

@Kabberri

10 жыл бұрын

I wish you all the luck and love :) you can get through this

@Jenniferlynne0714

6 жыл бұрын

Tina Bod same dude, 2 now

@What-sr2pk

6 жыл бұрын

hey how are you now?

I think that in a way self harmers are more sensitive then people who don't self harm. If you think about it the people who self harm will hurt themselves than whoever made them mad and also proves that self harmers actually have emotion

@lm9327

6 жыл бұрын

Respectfully disagree. I don't self harm, but I would consider myself extremely sensitive. In fact, I have severe anxiety & depression and the triggers that would lead some to self-harm lead me to different *albeit equally unhealthy* coping behaviors. I believe there are many ways for extreme sensitivity, and therefore extreme pain, to manifest itself. Yes that certainly includes self-harming and I respect that, but let's not minimize anyone else's pain based on the nature of their coping behaviors.

@amandapanda9118

6 жыл бұрын

Lizzy Mitchell Yup. We hurt ourselves instead of you. Example: Person A self harms so their parents/family/friends don't get upset. We don't want to hurt others. Please don't judge us if you think we want attention, we just want someone who will understand and be there for us. To anyone who is going through anything, abuse, self harm, bullying, whatever. Please, don't be afraid to reach out. It's all okay, I love you and I'm proud of you for staying this long. You're probably thinking, "You don't know me, you can't be proud of me. " ect. Yes, I am proud of you. I understand. I'll put myself out. Need to talk? My instagram is: mandypandy1026 Love ya'll♥❤

@aztocaligal5957

5 жыл бұрын

I know that I'd prefer to spontaneously combust than be as mean as I was given & as mean as I once was. Being a monster was in some ways scarier than being the recipient. After this long "joy ride" has been so far, spontaneous combustion is a consideration, lol. j/k

@em-wv4qt

5 жыл бұрын

Sister L. Its honestly A personal thing. Most of us are very sensitive .

Silent screaming 😱 thankyou so much 💓 I'm trying my best to support my 12 year old grandaughter. I can't bear to see her suffer 😔 any advise would be so appreciated from anyone who sees my plea

I used to cut and burn for 19 years because the emotional pain was too much to bear. I was suicidal for decades, in and out of hospitals, because of severe childhood abuse and neglect. I no longer need a therapist and am no longer depressed or suicidal after decades of therapy.

What about self punishment from being bored all day, bored the day before and will be bored tomorrow?

I feel like I’m wearing a mask all the time 😞

@thatlibrarysmell720

5 жыл бұрын

Soju Senpai If you’re willing to admit that then the real you is PROBABLY so bad that you need to hide them.

@ar_gusp1674

3 жыл бұрын

If only you knew about COVID 19

@nicolealexandra1392

3 жыл бұрын

@@ar_gusp1674 very funny ha ha

@gunnarerickson8708

3 жыл бұрын

This aged well

@cxldstar471

3 жыл бұрын

Feel you bro. Not alone.

I haven't self harmed for 4 years! I still get 'urges'.. but your video definitely resonates.. thinking back it was a coping mechanism.. self medicating by using it to feel and express anger or frustration even saddness.. as well as to escape, even if it's just for a little bit.. I like your comparison to a 'drug' because it was so addictive after I started... When I started getting tattoos it helped me a lot because the actual process gives you that adrenaline and pain however afterwards there's an artists work on your skin to admire ^-^

The point about "inward anger" is interesting because there are two very different versions of this. It is, as you say, a way of containing an outburst - an urge to lash out violently - perhaps because of a feeling of powerlessness against someone, or even a feeling of being dangerous to someone else due to one's own near loss of control and self-restraint. This one isn't enjoyable at all. The other is an inward rage similar to self-hatred, in response to prolonged and repeated emotionally traumatic experiences. At some point, you realise the only way to make sense of the bullshit affecting you is to blame yourself for it, and you realise you're forever doomed to repeat the same mistakes and end up in the same situations. So the next step is to torture yourself physically (and mentally, I suppose) because you deserve it. People have strange coping mechanisms.

I have a problem with using social media too much as a coping skill

@seagull653

8 жыл бұрын

its like a shield

@JessLotte

6 жыл бұрын

ME TOO!

You deserve happiness and peace. You are worthy of healing. ❤

I love how people tell her to shut up yet she’s the professional...

After 14 yrs of on off cutting ive come to relise that whatever is going on in my life if i feel like the world is out of my control its a safety blanket. As my wounds are healing so am i, i feel stronger as my wounds heal, mentally.

why is cutting always described as the only type of self harm, I keep banging my head on the wall and kinda punch and scratch myself when I'm really angry or helpless kinda like frustrated like something doesn't work from me like my phone won't open I kinda take the frustration out like that and I feel super guilty afterwards and I do a lot of silent screaming with all that and I just feel like everything I feel is fake and I ve wanted help for so long but my parents don't support me I've tried to kill my self before without telling anyone but didn't take enough and I'm jus kinda done can someone pls tell me what's wrong cuz I'm about to give up.

@zain4019

5 жыл бұрын

TheUltimateEmoTrash oh my goodness you poor soul :(((( I hope you’re doing okay two years later. Please please try EFT (Brad Yates has a channel), it’s life-saving. Try it, it will help, I promise. You can see an EMDR therapist as well. They do wonders, like mine did for me. I hope you’re doing better two years later, please please take care of yourself. You are worthy. I Promise.

@marycredo683

5 жыл бұрын

Cutting is not the only self harm. It’s just the most common that’s why people use cutting as an example of self harm.

@renab.7390

5 жыл бұрын

Me too. I scratched myself, bit or pinched myself till I had bruises, bit my lips, nails and the skin around it till it was bloody, ripped my hair out in patches, cut myself in different ways, strangled/asphyxiated a few times... and everytime I realized I was getting addicted to one self harming behavior I forced myself to stop, but in actuality I immediately + subconsciously replaced it with another one. Cutting and ripping out hair were definitely the most difficult to get rid of for me...

@dayanhajjmoussa1797

4 жыл бұрын

Please tell me you're still here, I hope I'm not to late but please don't give up you probably don't know me but you're not alone it gets better I promise if you want to talk about it I'm here I would love to talk to you.

I've been self harming since I was in 5th grade and I'm now a sophomore in high school, sadly still doing it. It's mainly because of bullying, never experiencing having a friend, and my social anxiety. It helped temporarily take away the emotional pain and I've gotten so used to it that a lot of times I'll go out without sleeves and forget it's even there and it makes others think I'm weird and just seeking attention.

@cedricburkhart3738

5 жыл бұрын

Taylor Michelle That's really sad.😭

@MaTTheWish

2 жыл бұрын

Try to love yourself, the fact that you are here means you care and your life will be awesome someday soon!

I’ve been 2 years self harm free. Even thinking about it makes me anxious. I could never think about doing it ever again, whereas at one time I thought I’d die that way. I thought I could never live without it. I overcame it with lots of help and wonderful people and the right medication. There are always going to be bad days, but I know the worst are over. This is a very accurate and valuable video. I have always wanted to read this book but I had wanted to read it in the past for wrong reasons (better ways to harm) but now that I know it would be safe to read it I would love to read it. Although it may bring back unwanted feelings. I’m currently in school to become a psychologist, so I feel the book would also be educational for me to better help clients. Love your educational videos! I will definitely be using them to study from!

When someone puts me down and belittling me it really upsets me and makes me mad and self harming makes me feel like I’m in control. I also do it when I get upset I was told a guy doesn’t cry so it makes me feel better.

Thanks for eng subs. I'm not English speaker so it helps me a lot to understand. Reading English is easier than listening for me. I'm a fan of you. You've helped me a LOT. I love your videos!!

I first saw it in a movie and one day when I was upset did it and was hooked from that day forward. It escalated to doing it when I was upset, to doing it to feel because my emotions shut off, when I was bored , or needed to relieve stress even when I wanted to use drugs or drink and couldn't I would do it in place of using. It's a nasty spiral and if anyone is reading this DONT DO IT ! Because it's never just one time, believe me

@mallorysirko6797

8 жыл бұрын

what movie?

@uruppy1406

8 жыл бұрын

+two stupid girls "Girl, Interrupted"? but I never saw it. I'm not really sure if it's a movie on self harm or it just included a self harm incident. I wanted to watch it but I always forgot. Ive read about it on a blog

@DanKirchner5150

5 жыл бұрын

the secretary

I used to self harm for mostly 2 reasons. First one you already mentioned is to express rage, because in my family because of my father I didn't really had the option to speak out my opinions and thoughts. And the other one is because I suffer from anxiety, and I used to have really bad panic attacks (mixed with just rage) and I became just so out of reality that my only way to bring myself to reality again was by cutting myself so I could feel something that was like real real.

I started mildly cutting as a result of an eating disorder. A recent relationship and some difficulties with school have caused me to cut like never before. Another form of self harm I have dealt with is piercing. When I would think of the failed relationship I would feel embarrassed and guilty, then resort to jabbing rings through my ears and lips

Oh my, I can relate to all of the types she talks about :/

do you know anything about obsessive skin picking? I do it a lot. I have depression and anxiety so I'm not sure if it's self harming or solely just and obsessive activity. I pick mostly at my fingers, around the nail, but sometimes it'll be scabs or other things like that

@fishingwithorigami59

8 жыл бұрын

I do the same many times I start to bleed. If I don't chew or pick my fingers I get really bad anxiety.

@toottootbleetbleet

8 жыл бұрын

+Fishing with origami😸 I usually bleed as well. I just need to. part of my brain drives me to do it even though I know it destructive. my fiancé tries to stop me but then I just try and be secretive and I keep doing it

@abbycolby4543

7 жыл бұрын

Summer Folster it could be dermatillomania

@swivelkeyring3512

6 жыл бұрын

I do that since I'm a child tbh and I often bite dry parts of my lips til it bleed, I cut but stopped early

@janedoe6866

5 жыл бұрын

I pick at my loose or calloused skin and use a nail clipper to clip off the skin around my finger and toenails because I want to smooth it out. I think it's an OCD thing (I have been diagnosed with OCD, GAD, and various sensory issues). It's not about pain, it's about making it feel "right" or even. And sometimes I do bleed, though that's not the goal. Sometimes I get paranoid about people seeing me after I shower or when I go swimming because I don't want people to ask me about why my skin looks so weird (because it is only "smoothed out" when it's dry). And it's actually worse after I swim or shower because I can see the parts of my hands and feet that aren't smooth, so I want to pick at/clip them again. I don't know if it classifies as a self harm behavior, but it's a crappy, annoying cycle.

I’ve struggled over the years with banging my head and scratching my arms with my nails. The physical pain is a way to shift focus away from overwhelming emotional pain.

I compulsively pick at my scalp. It's a self soothing thing when I'm watching tv or hanging around. It's super embarrassing so I generally catch myself around other people, but I do it at home in front of my bf who doesn't say anything if he notices. It's something I feel compelled to do, and like, it's oddly satisfying. I need to find a way to self soothe that isn't so self destructive but I haven't found anything that replaces it. Note: I used to pop zits and pick at my blemishes on my skin more but that would often result in worsening the problem and bright red, blotchy skin. The scalp picking is mostly concealed except when I go to get a hair cut.

I used to want people know but not now

I have blistered myself, whipped myself with chains, beat my head on walls, punched myself in the face, and 2 days ago, shattered a glass jar against my head. I'd like to stop, but the moment I get angry, or stressed, my first thought is: "RELIEF!", and the fastest way I get it is physical pain. I don't think I'll ever get over doing this shit, and any more, I stopped bothering to even hide the fact I do it.

It’s been 2 years and I’m proud of myself, and everyone else that’s trying to move on from their pasts and start fresh x

I came here because I wasn’t sure what to do. I have been feeling off for a while and today I failed on three college assignments and that just set me off. At first I just cried and felt numb, but suddenly I got mad at myself and clawed my face without even realizing it. I felt relief afterwards, but when I saw the bleeding cuts on my cheeks in the mirror it made me realize something is wrong with me. I never thought of it until this video, but I think it’s the anger inward thing for me. My older brother did something to me when I was young that recently resurfaced and has been a big problem for me mentally, so I’m angry at him; I’m also angry at my mom for not doing much to help with the situation. But I know I’d never hurt them so I think instead it just builds up and then I lash out at myself. Dang, I just need some freakin therapy. Unfortunately as a college student with no job that’s not an option.

I always love the way she says "does that make sense?" it's very calming in a way and makes me feel like she genuinely is expecting an answer before she continues. love her vids!

Finally someone who explains it in a way that feels real and makes sense from the patient's perspective (imo).

While I cut, I always say "You deserve this, don't you". It's so releasing. If a day passed without cutting, I feel so uncomfortable. It's a punishment for the things that I do and I consider them as "damaging other people" and It's a way to transform the emotional pain into physical pain, like all this pain is transfered from my heart to my thigh (where I cut) and a way to be numb ... that means if I can handle such pain that means that I can hundle anything. And may it's a cry for help. For about 10 minutes after cutting, I'm not thinking about anything, my brain is completely empty which feels so good. I started cutting a week ago and I have about 40 cuts until now but they healed really fast. Thank u for covering this up

I just have to say... omg. Thank you for the title. I clicked on this video bc i was banging my head or on my legs sometimes. And i wanted to know generally, what to do with self harm, thinking that me banging my head till i am dizzy is just me being crazy... like i didnt know that there are others who do this, and it made me think its rather common. I am so thankful to know, that i know now that i can talk about this, without feeeling ashamed. I am 22 and i started recently. I think with 21... i just get so frustrated with my self that i start hitting myself on my head with my fists, like really hard. Thank you very much. That made me very brave and make me consider going to therapy.

This resonated with me a bit too much

I always thought about dissociative cutting the other way around, which I guess must be something else - being partially detached from reality in an uncomfortable way and using self-harm as a grounding thing to reattach the psyche to the body, so to speak. (I guess related is the drive to express control/ownership of a body that doesn't feel real or doesn't feel like one's own.)

April 2nd, 2020 I am one year clean of cutting!!

I’ve started to hit myself , sounds stupid but just wanted my head to stop thinking negatively or stop it reminding me of things that have hurt me, not sure if it’s that worrying

@alishaaa6192

3 жыл бұрын

Please don’t hurt urself ur so beautiful and ily❤️🥺it’ll get better! Stay strong x

The other day a friend accidently dropped a heavy backpack on my arm, and it was nothing serious, not even a bruise, but for some reason I really enjoyed it and I became obsessed with the adrenaline that came with it.

@samaraberry3394

3 жыл бұрын

Relate

Wow, I didn't know self harm is an issue or a subject in mental health. I was often emotionally abused in my marriage. That was decades ago. I thought I had no way out and felt very alone. I stabbed my leg with a pen. It bled and hurt , I had no clue why I did it. I couldn't talk to anyone and I thought I was going crazy. I even thought of killing myself until then loser thought he fell in love with someone else and told me to leave and I promised I would. His so-called love affair did not work out and he begged me to stay. I held on the my "promise" and left him. Looking back, I am so glad I did not waste more of my life for someone who is not worth it. I am also so glad that I learn so much from informative videos that you put out. Thanks.

@eleanorheap511

8 жыл бұрын

I'm so happy you got away from them. Nobody deserves that.

5.5 months in recovery and a week ago I had a major breakthrough! For the entire time I struggled with self harm any time I saw any kind of stray broken glass it brought up the thoughts of self harm, but last Tuesday I saw a bus stop sign that was utterly shattered. My immediate response was more forensic... how did this happen.... who did this... etc. then a few mins later I realized that for the first time in the five and a half ish years I’ve struggled with self harm seeing broken glass didn’t come with the compulsion to use it to hurt myself!

To get a break, to feel pain to feel alive and not numb and to get attention especially from the ones who I love and respect and also to show how much I am feeling hurt inside(or silent screaming)....had been my primary goals of self harm.