Wow Amy really hit me with “nobody else has to go to bed at night thinking about the decisions that YOU made” Thanks for some free therapy talk ladies!

@abby2857

Жыл бұрын

I love this. Definitely holding it close to my heart.

@derekg5563

Жыл бұрын

@Abigail Sulpizo: That's not true, though, because many big decisions you make do affect other people. I mean, in a trivial sense, every decision that affects other people probably affects you also, but that's not something to tell the people you affect. Of course decisions affect you, because you are trying to serve your self-interest, but people will object when that conflicts with them. And they might, indeed, think about how your decisions affected them. If someone is looking for purity, then they will be thinking about your decisions when determining compatibility. In any case, at this point, if purity culture can be toxic, then I guess pretty much any ideal can be toxic at this point, because even if it's a positive goal, people who don't want to work to achieve it can still find fault with it. Can tolerance culture be toxic, too? Maybe, if people are shoving it down your throat and defining your personhood based on it and ignoring the rest of your life. Maybe people don't want their life to be interrupted by always having to be tolerant, just like people don't want to live their life interrupted by always having to be pure. Always having to be good. It can drain people, but this applies to much more than just purity, and can apply to any left-wing or right-wing ideal potentially. At this point, labeling something as toxic seems to say more about you than the thing that you're labeling.

@raechuuu510

Жыл бұрын

@@derekg5563 Your comment seems to imply that purity is equal to goodness. That’s the exact reason WHY it’s toxic. Girls grow up being taught that their worth is determined by their body and if it’s good enough for a man. When many women who grew up with purity culture eventually do get married, they still can’t shake the feeling of “sex = bad” and they feel guilt and shame around it. They don’t let themselves enjoy it as they still think, whether consciously or subconsciously, that enjoying it is sinful. As a woman who grew up with purity culture, I can say first hand it’s harmful. It can be harmful for men too. I’ve seen that first hand. If someone wants to decide to wait, that is wonderful when it’s THEIR choice and not something they’ve been pushed and shamed into.

@robingill7612

Жыл бұрын

Do you want to increase your subscribers and viwes DM me

@jbloveday9538

Жыл бұрын

What do you mean by S A. What is it?

At 20, I get a lot of grief about not drinking, smoking, going to parties, and not having a boyfriend. I just wish people could stop putting so much pressure on it, and let people do their own thing. Thank you for that message Amy about being on our own path, and all of you for speaking about this♥️

@eiilzz

Жыл бұрын

I have similar experiences especially since everyone I know drinks and smokes. I'm the weirdo drinking coffee at a party while everyone is getting drunk, lol.

@hillmidget1326

Жыл бұрын

We're not similar in that sense but I don't like any one trying to shove beliefs on otheres no matter what side of the line we may stand

@joannamarie_

Жыл бұрын

@@eiilzz I feel this! I have never been interested in that, in general. Even though I get judged, I don't see it getting me farther in life, lol. (That's not to say I haven't ever had a drink for example, but I guess I'm not interested in always getting drunk, idk!

@joannamarie_

Жыл бұрын

@@hillmidget1326 Literally! I hate the shame associated with not doing it, in particular. Called a goody too shoes, etc. Like maybe I just don't wanna smoke lol. As you said- live your life!

@kgrayston

Жыл бұрын

In another 15 years no one will care about those things AT ALL but you will care whether you made the choices that were right for you 💖

Here's another important thing... Even if for some reason you didn't wait until marriage... YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR MIND!!!!

@asdfghjkiller

Жыл бұрын

💯💯💯

@NicoleShizzle

Жыл бұрын

Yesss

@Antibeautyguru

Жыл бұрын

Yup and you can mess up and still go back to not want to have sex until marriage.

@Billy-bc8pk

6 ай бұрын

Yeah, but changing your mind means you don't get a high-value mate who has standards who did not change their mind. So if you have a high notch count, don't be surprised if a high value mate may not want to commit due to past decisions.

@Billy-bc8pk

6 ай бұрын

@@AntibeautyguruBut it doesn't change your past.

I wish Dani was here for this conversation 🥺 I know she had some opinions on this as well. It's so nice to see you guys open up and talk about these topics. Hope to see this more ❤️❤️❤️

I’m completely nonreligious, and this was very refreshing! I applaud your open-mindedness

@nicotinedietcoke

Жыл бұрын

I TOTALLY agree

@lauraarens2952

Жыл бұрын

Agree!

@meganelise2186

Жыл бұрын

I always wonder if I’m the only nonreligious person who loves Cimorelli 🙈

@withCy

Жыл бұрын

Nope! I’m in this club too haha I wonder as well

@user-ji3re9bj3i

8 ай бұрын

I am still waiting till marriage but I don't care what you do with your life.

I'm not religious at all but am a believer that everyone should be able to get along, regardless of beliefs. I have so much respect for you ladies for discussing this and being so vulnerable. I didn't know the ins and out of toxic purity culture but work with young people and see purity rings OFTEN without knowing what that entails. You are changing a LOT of young lives by sharing your stories. Thank you ❤️

Thank you for this video. I'm 30 and I'm waiting until marriage. I get so much grief from people for my choice to wait. I have been bullied since I was a teen about my decision to not have sex, drink, or do drugs. It just blows my mind how people think what I do with my body is any of their business but I'm constantly called a prude, asked if I'm gay, asked if it's because I'm fat, and many other things. Thankfully as an adult I've learned to brush it off but when I was younger things like that hurt me so badly. I hope and pray that this video reaches the people that are struggling and need to hear these words. Thank you again for talking about this.

@kaitlynhenry5915

Жыл бұрын

I admire your self control!

@annabees

Жыл бұрын

The fact that people actually know about your sex life is so weird to me. I feel like this is something so private. Alcohol and drugs that's different, it shows. But sex? People don't want to know how you brush your teeth, why would they mind if you are having sex 🙄 (On a personal note, if you are into it, sex is really nice practiced from 1 to I guess as many people as you like, never forget that 😅 Also, I totally understand the wait until marriage and I kind of admire you to keep it up because my curiosity got the best of my motivation lol. I don't regret it because it taught me a lot of things about myself but I wonder what would have happened had I waited...)

@mariaajoser

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely identify with this comment. Thank you for sharing! I’m 27 soon to be 28. Still waiting, not ashamed ♥️

@melissaashleyy

Жыл бұрын

Waited until 28 but not married, you do you ❣️

@mckaylapitts6884

11 ай бұрын

It is inspiring to see that you have waited because it helps me to know that I can too and have others who understand my choice.

I was raised to wait until marriage. I didn’t wait until marriage but I did wait until I was with someone who I loved and who I knew loved me. I don’t regret it at all. A lot of people talk about how awkward their first time was. And while I was nervous, it def wasn’t awkward. It went about as well as I could’ve wanted it to go.

@MusicLiveOn

Жыл бұрын

THIS! This is what it should be about! Thank you!

@jappyhoy

Жыл бұрын

and for everyone it’s a different experience. i support waiting. but i also didn’t wait. i did have sex with my husband before marriage. but regardless of pleasure sexually i am with him for so so so much more. we are not sexual much at all.

@Themindfulmess

Жыл бұрын

This is my exact same experience. Very happy with my decisions but respectful of those of others.

@HaleyMAllen

Жыл бұрын

I was raised in a household that wasn't that religious. Later on became a christain and I personally wanted to wait until marriage. But once I met someone who loved me and who I knew loved me. I didn't regret my choice cause I knew I was going to be with him for the rest of my life. I'm just happy I know I'm not alone with this decision.(But do I know it's sinful. Yes but I've been getting better with it)

@cindykhmdj9358

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your story. The real question is are we obeying God when doing something He has forbidden us to do? We can indeed do whatever we want when we want and with who we want but that doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. God has set a good frame for sexual relationship and it's within marriage. I hope you'll Meditate on the words of God and He will show you His will for your life. God bless you!

I’m a Muslim and it’s so hard to find people online that can talk about these things without feeling judged! I’ve definitely felt judgement on both sides .. for waiting and for ‘not being pure enough’ .. thank you so much for being so open, creating such a safe community and encouraging people to share ❤

@ameliatri5869

Жыл бұрын

I stand with you!

@IXOX0oI

Жыл бұрын

@@ameliatri5869 🥰🤍

@Lyla4540

Жыл бұрын

Hi dear, I'm a Muslim as well! And I completely understand what you're going through. With family it's always this pressure to be pure and not talk about anything but with friends or even strangers, it's weird if you've never been intimate with somebody because you were taught to believe it will ruin you! So I understand completely. And these girls created such a safe space to be open

@mazwyf

Жыл бұрын

girl you should know those girls are against your believes and are raised by ismlaophobe

@zarahshabs7936

Жыл бұрын

Also Muslim and totally agree with your comment

I’m a woman who is very in tune with her spirituality. I’m also a woman who is very in tune with her sexuality! I made the decision a long time ago to wait until I’m married- very similarly to what Christina said- because that’s what makes the most sense for me in my life! It’s been very hard to navigate sexual urges because I grew up being taught that sex is dirty and bad. I’m finally at a place in life where I understand that sexuality is an innate part of who I am as a woman and as a human being and there is nothing wrong with having sexual feelings or desires! It’s literally a part of our biology for crying out loud! I don’t have the mindset that sex is dirty or bad anymore, but that doesn’t mean I’ve changed my mind about waiting. I still believe that it is the best decision for me, but I am sooooo thankful that I’ve done the work to deconstruct all of the shame and guilt that I grew up feeling! It’s been so healing and freeing for me!

@beth_m

Жыл бұрын

I agree! I have been told the same things and am also waiting. I know it’s going to be hard and seem long at times but I know it’ll be worth it.

@Billy-bc8pk

6 ай бұрын

The shame is a barrier to help people avoid making bad decisions. It's good you have been able to navigate these difficult roadblocks without giving in, but it's also not just about shame it's also about connections. Because once you do make that physical connection, it's permanent and forever, and it's important that if you want to make a serious connection with someone for the rest of your life, to make sure you do it with the person you marry.

@heatherknoxt

Ай бұрын

@@Billy-bc8pkI promise you, there ain’t no permanent connections here. Your comments fall into the vein of toxicity that’s addressed in this very video lmao.

@Billy-bc8pk

Ай бұрын

@@heatherknoxt The studies about oxytocin and the counterintuitive trends associated with pre-marital relations actually says otherwise. And sadly, people like to deny those studies to maintain hedonistic patterns that only make life harder for them and any potential future relationships.

Thanks, this was so interesting to watch. I’m a Christian and have struggled with navigating this topic for such a long time. My husband and I waited for marriage and we’re both really glad that we did, and have no regrets. But that doesn’t mean that we weren’t impacted by the toxicity of purity culture - it’s had a lasting effect on both of us personally and as a married couple. I want to teach our kids what we believe without pushing them into a culture that seems to devalue women, crush personal autonomy, diminish consent and put such a heavy focus on sexual sin. It’s such a loaded topic and I think you handled it really well - definitely gave me a lot of food for thought! 😊

I was saving myself for marriage and was happy and had peace with my decision. Then, when I was 19, I was a victim of SA. I immediately felt worthless, felt dirty, and like my decision to stay pure had been stolen. I never respected my body again. If only I had heard something like this video then, I could've continued to stay pure despite being a victim. At the time, I thought my choice had been made for me by that man. But despise the hurt, judgement, and loss of friendships I've had to endure, I hope that somebody that might be feeling like I had will hear this and know their worth! ❤️❤️❤️

@beth_m

Жыл бұрын

I’m so sorry you went through that. You are seen, known, and loved! You are not dirty and deserve kindness and respect. 🫶

@de5072

Жыл бұрын

Almost the same story as you... 19. The decision was made for me while wearing my purity ring. Took it off and it ultimately left me a single mom by 23. Which that itself was a result of sa. Now at 26 while not waiting I am in a period of not. To give myself a moment to figure out what I want

@thejupiter2574

Жыл бұрын

@Alisha H May I ask you what the term SA means in regards to this video / discussion. I am unfamiliar with it and I did Google it but tons of meanings came up for the SA initials , I dont know what it means. Thanks.

@beth_m

Жыл бұрын

@@thejupiter2574 I don’t know if I’m in a place to say what it means or if I can because KZread might tag me but it has to do with someone being harmed a certain way from another person in an uncomfortable way

@Tambisme

Жыл бұрын

@@thejupiter2574 sexual assualt

It's a personal choice and I respect the various opinions on this. I personally feel like I'm not a wait until marriage person but I am however a wait until the relationship feels like it's going in the right direction and the commitment with each other is clear.

@ebrooke953

Жыл бұрын

@molly why is that disgusting?

@aliadaridan5339

Жыл бұрын

Teaching to wait till marriage is disgusting?

@aliadaridan5339

Жыл бұрын

I fully agree! It is and it’s partly because of the purity culture and heavy Christianism

@lilyharvey3332

Жыл бұрын

​@@ebrooke953 i think molly meant if its your choice to wait until marriage that's great but teaching your children to wait till marriage by using the methods mentioned in the video is disgusting

@ebrooke953

Жыл бұрын

​@molly Ohh gotcha, I 100% agree with you. In your original comment I wasn't sure if "teaching *that* to your children" meant teaching the purity culture stuff or allowing them to make their own informed, autonomous decisions. I definitely grew up with a less intense version of purity culture dogma, and the shame that comes with it is so hard to outgrow. It's so messed up.

Thank you for this video. I’m just now getting back in church with my 3 year old as a single mom. 21, Never married, not in a relationship when I got pregnant. It’s been hard to get back into church because of the judgment. Thankfully I’m in a place where I’m confident and proud of my daughter. I’m now saved again and feel more worth than before. Now waiting for marriage as well. It’s been so healing on my mind and soul and relationship with God. Thankfully I don’t have those kinds of people around me with this toxic culture.

@biancadupree

Жыл бұрын

That's not your church. Find another church were you don't feel like that

@SimplySecondhand

Жыл бұрын

@@biancadupree I think what I should of mentioned was this is my home church. Where I grew up. I think I was insecure and felt others would judge. Not that they were. I think that’s where my words mixed up. My church even threw me a baby shower. They have been so gracious to me and were so happy to see me and my daughter in church. I think there was healing in my own head I had to go through to get to where I am. But that was a thought in my head, that this wasn’t the church for me. I just didn’t even give it a try before throwing judgment on others that they would return that judgment.

I do not believe in waiting until marriage but I just feel like “purity” is such a bad word to describe this…. it feels like if you don’t do wait, you’re not pure??? what does that even mean

@annebuffay8695

Жыл бұрын

exactly thisss

@harleyquiinnnn

Жыл бұрын

on point ☝🏼

@sheluvssmokedupeyes1

Жыл бұрын

Because you have to come full circle that in ancient times when A woman’s honor Was based upon holding onto her virginity in marrying well, because if she didn’t hold onto her virginity, nobody would marry her except the person that took her virginity. He was obligated to marry her he’d be dead and so was she. Thank God that we’re not under the law of Moses anymore but purity is not a bad word it has to do with your perspective

@Lisa_Uncensored

Жыл бұрын

Well you’re not 🤷🏻‍♀️ I didn’t wait and I’m not “pure” I have a strong faith but that’s not something I waited for it doesn’t mean my relationship with God is less and I kind of wish I did wait but I didn’t … but purity is just a word and it’s appropriate

@tabithabrannon2616

Жыл бұрын

I mean God says your body is not your own it belongs to him, He also says that sex is a gift from Him to married couples only. It's not to say you're a bad person at all if you don't wait till marriage but it is a mortal sin against the body of Christ and the physical body here on earth. I mean if you don't want to participate in the religious following God, that's your decision but yes to these people and myself sexual immorality is impure. Hope this helps you understand our pov, God bless you ❤️

THE WHOLE NATION NEEDS TO WATCH THIS!!!

@tillydaw4992

Жыл бұрын

THE WHOLE *WORLD* NEEDS TO WATCH THIS!! ❤

@saracasale3329

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely!!!

@dinahakim7114

Жыл бұрын

Agreed I totally agree.

@RealRealDemocracyDiscourse

5 ай бұрын

This is feminist garbage

Aww Amy! Sorry I heard her crying in her speech on point 3, and I'm like "give the princess a hug!" Same for Lauren, the moment I heard her sadness after Amy's turn, I wanted to give her a hug. Sorry, when someone goes sad, I wanted to reach out and make them feel better. Also thanks for today's vid, you ladies really had good points regarding this topic and I give yall kudos for it!

I think part of the issue is a lack of continual conversations. Parents wait until their kid is a teen and then they briefly say sex is bad or don’t get pregnant etc. This needs to be a continuing conversation. With an explanation of why these are your families values.

Toxic purity left me in terrible a relationship for far too long. I felt that since I wasn’t “pure” anymore, I had to stay with this one person, even though it eventually be abusive. I’m so glad I found the strength to leave, and it took me a long time to realize that my worth was so much more than my virginity. I found a new partner, we’re not each others firsts, and we’ve been deeply in love for over five years, and I will never ever teach our future children to stay in a toxic place with someone because of a decision they’ve made based on their sexuality. Thank you for being so open and non judgemental. It took me a while to love myself after that relationship and rebuild my own feelings of self worth after having sex outside of marriage when I was taught it should only happen between husband and wife. It’s not a belief I hold any longer, but I respect all those who did wait. Sex is still something that is sacred and private to me, and absolutely still special. Im happy to be outside of that toxic purity culture and I respect you girls for discussing it, while also discussing that you waited. It was so refreshing to hear someone that’s waited to say, “it’s still your choice!”

@RealRealDemocracyDiscourse

5 ай бұрын

Sounds like you just chose the wrong person. That's your fault and his

So refreshing to hear this discussion in a way I don’t think I’ve ever heard before. I am so grateful all of this was shared! I love how it’s not “this is what YOU should do” “this is the right thing to do” but instead sharing your perspectives and encouraging the process of questioning everything and going on this journey for ourselves. I did this for myself awhile back and unfortunately came across a LOT of toxic, deeply harmful purity culture videos along the way so I am SO grateful you all made this video and said what needed to be said ❤

I hope Lisa is ok....praying for her husband's health

Yes. Thank you. This needs to be talked about.

Thank you SO MUCH for talking about this so with so much vulnerability and grace and kindness Christina pointed out there aren’t a lot of people online putting out this perspective and I completely agree. it’s so amazing to see you guys tackle this topic. So much love for y’all!!!

My husband and I waited until marriage as well! We weren’t flawless, but definitely felt like that was the right decision for us! Thank you for sharing this message. It is SO important!!

I really appreciate this. I was sexually assaulted three time within a three month span when I was fifteen. Luckily I didn’t get pregnant, but it took me five years to even go to the police about it. My family still doesn’t know about it because I’m too scared they will judge me because my mom was very sexually promiscuous so I know they will think I had it coming. It is still hard for me today to feel as though I am still worthy to God because of a bad youth pastor who said we have it coming for how we dress or act. I am always in baggy clothes that cover me and keep my head down because I’m so terrified that if I am seen, then it will happen again. But hearing Amy and Lauren getting so emotional and Kat and Christina saying it’s not my fault and how the candy pieces is an awful illustration. It made it feel like I do still have worth and that God doesn’t look at me as some damaged, unworthy person. Also, with the consent thing, it matters because my ex wouldn’t take no for an answer and I would cry myself to sleep because I honestly just felt used. Like Kat was saying it a manipulation thing because he would get angry and punch my bed and yell at me, knowing I was severely abused as a child, and he knew I wanted to wait until marriage, but he pushed to the point I was too scared to say no. Then for so many months after it was like emotional abuse until I finally gave in. Which has also added trauma and this feeling of not being worthy. I know I can’t take my virginity back, but since leaving him I am trying to heal and recommit to wait until marriage. And my first kiss wasn’t until I was like twenty, but the social pressure was enormous and it was crazy how people looked down on my for it. Also, thank you for talking about this subject. 🖤

@johanna-7817

Жыл бұрын

Jesus loves you and sees you pure 💗

@dinahakim7114

Жыл бұрын

I think you’re worthy enough to God no. I think he would forgive you God forgives everybody whether you were sexually harassed or not whether it was this guy’s fault or not I don’t know. But God forgives and I think you’d be very worthy of him

@Bluecg79

Жыл бұрын

You have so much value as a person! ❤ God loves you and longs to have a relationship with you.

@LM-mr3fd

Жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry that you endured such horrific abuse, including the abuse and manipulation by your ex. You NEVER deserved to be treated like that. God loves you more than you could ever imagine. Your worth has NOT been diminished, nor can it be diminished. If you have not yet sought professional help, please do so. You deserve to be properly supported. You deserve to heal. You deserve to be free to live your best life! Never give up. Never forget that you are so very LOVED....no matter what. You are a TRUE BLESSING in this messed up world of ours. Thank you for sharing with us. Praying for you and sending you much ❤. Take good care & God bless.

@mollyfaye

Жыл бұрын

God loves you no matter what. Never think otherwise. No one can dim your light. Show them you can't be taken down because you have the strongest entity in the universe on your side.❤

My respect for you guys, that was already so high, has just skyrocketed. You guys handled this topic absolutely beautifully and judgement free, and I really hope that people of all ages watch this and feel empowered

NGL. I feel like this needs to be said. Lauren and amy getting chocked up about it made me wanna jump through the screan and give you all a hu. BTW missing lisa, shes so strong for what her and her hubby are going through. plus her little minion. love you all millions xxx

This is why you guys have been my role models for over 10 years ❤

I follow you guys for a long time, and despite of my personal opinion about it, I think it's so important that you guys are bringing this conversation here, specially because you have young people as followers, so kudos to you.

I have watched you guys for almost 10 years and I am so happy that you guys are using this platform for good! Thank you for spreading such a powerful message!

YES! I so respect you all for talking about this and thank you sooo much for not being afraid to share your beliefs on it, especially since they're so counter-cultural! I love how you explained everything and just gave some great questions for everyone to think deeper about. 👏❤

Thank you guys for this so much. I’m often embarrassed to tell people I am Christian because of the toxicity and how people use the bible to put others down. As I grow up, I’m working on mending my relationship with God apart from how I grew up. This video is giving me so much hope as I continue this journey!!

@beth_m

Жыл бұрын

I agree! A lot of people paint Christians as like the too nice of people or the unfun people, or like there are toxic and horrible people who say that they are Christian and put us in a bad light.

@serenalynch

Жыл бұрын

As someone who grew up in a non-religious home and then became a Christian throughout childhood, I always like to say this to people. Stop looking for the times people acted ungodly, and start looking for how God moved throughout your life. Your past, your present, and your future. Who entered your life that made a difference? How did you make it through a situation? Was God there even though you may not have acknowledged him at the time? It is so easy to focus on the negative that people do. Asking myself those questions have really helped me be grateful for when and how God moved in my life. I hope your journey is going well. ❤

This needs to be said!!! I love this favorite topic

I love how intentional you all were with your words in this video. You were able to share your perspectives while still being very mindful and respectful of all sides of the conversation. Loved this vid thanks girls ❤️

Love this topic! So hard you’re right but so important. I was SA at 16 and literally lived in I’m worthless until I was 18. I was wild and just didn’t care what happened to me after that. I was not a Christian until I was 25 years old. Pregnancy is a worry for teens however I was 18 when I got pregnant unplanned and not with someone I would ever dream of having a child with. My First son changed my life forever. Of course right?! But more than that I was so heavy into drugs, unhealthy sex and alcohol. The second I found I was pregnant I stopped everything enrolled full time in college once again and got a job and my own place. I honestly told the dad I was doing this pregnancy alone or he could participate. Unfortunately I decided to marry him…an alcoholic who still did drugs. It ended in both DV and SA yet again. Then I found a man who I later understood was emotionally physically abusive. I couldn’t see it when I was with him. I was told I could not get pregnant again due to massive medical issues well surprise 1 day later and yep 💥 pregnant 🤦‍♀️ Lol! But ya know what he left when my second son was just 9 months old. He wasn’t a great husband but he IS A GREAT DAD!! I found Jesus through that divorce! I was so lost so so just emotionally an absolute wreck! I found MYSELF in Jesus and ONLY then I was I able to both give and accept true love. I now have been married for 17 years have 4 just out of this world AMAZING boys! 2 “bio” (though we don’t recognize blood 🩸 in the family) and 2 bonus sons. They are now 26,25,22 and 19! We have been so so blessed for sure! My husband has always and is still so so so patient because I still have issues with some sexual things and relationships things. Looking back I’d have loved to wait until marriage knowing how I believe now as a Christian HOWEVER my son saved my life…I mean he saved my life! And I KNOW he was a gift from God and definitely a 2x4 over the head. Now did it fully work on coming to Jesus right then absolutely not~~yet~~BUT it was part of the path that lead me to him. Still today I believe in praying those “dangerous prayers” (awesome book btw Dangerous Prayers 😉 ). I pray for patience Lol! And I pray for 2x4s because I am absolutely stubborn as can be and honest to goodness sometimes I need that 2x4 answer from God to whip me into shape. My husband still struggles because he didn’t have a father that lead the family even in the slightest. He was an alcoholic also but has since changed his life. He’s still quiet and reserved and mom runs the roost. Regardless of how I feel about their dynamics I’m tired of some Christian teachings degrading men for not being the proper and good leader of the family. It takes us both!! We are both children of God and we are honest to goodness each other’s biggest accountability partners beyond anyone else. One of My sons now has 2 kids and they neither one want to get married. Do I love it not so much HOWEVER they are adults and it is their choice. They will NEVER get judgement from me as his parent. We talk and have great conversations around it BUT I don’t push too hard. Nothing positive will come from that. Soooo those that choose to wait I think that’s awesome 👏 BUT if you don’t and even if you don’t wait and you get pregnant there is still greatness in this life for you. Every single thing we do in life eventually builds character hope and love with Jesus BUT it also equips us to help others! These are my absolute favorite Bible verses especially as a chronically ill woman, mama and wife. It’s hard to see your purpose honestly as anyone but when your sick constantly shew. I’ll share because the beauty of these 2 groups of scripture is just unmatchable imo ❤ 🙏🏻 Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Rom.5.1,Rom.5.2,Rom.5.3,Rom.5.4,Rom.5.5&version=NLT Best imo coupled with….. ❤ All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us. www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2Cor.1.3,2Cor.1.4,2Cor.1.5,2Cor.1.6,2Cor.1.7&version=NLT Much love to everyone and NEVER judgement from me. Always find someone “safe” to talk with because NO ONE should ever tear you down for being open. ❤ 🙏🏻

so proud of this talk, I can’t express how comforting it is to know that others have this type of mindset and can be free to talk about traumas and boundaries. thank you.

I’m 13, so all this stuff I don’t really think about a lot, but this was still really helpful and gave me a good understanding of some things I’ve been wondering, so thankful that y’all are open about things like this, I love you guys more then anything! You guys changed my life. ❤❤❤

amy's speech will always repeat in my head. this video is so much more meaningful and powerful than you girls would think. thank you for speaking about this matter. god bless your kind souls.

This video felt like a mini-podcast! That was such an interesting topic and I agreed with all you said, even if I'm not religious! The amount of time I clapped alone in front of my screen screaming "Preach !" was insane ! Also, I'd like to thank you for showing a healthy and good side of religion that I thought disappeared. I sadly only see the toxic side of the media, mostly the internet. Having your videos and takes on those kinds of topics is very refreshing, I don't see enough religious people talking about it!

Purity culture is probably one huge reason why some people get married so quickly. Could be that they don’t want to be shamed if they want to take their relationship to the next level or can’t wait

@RealRealDemocracyDiscourse

5 ай бұрын

Or a misjudged of character. The usual suspect

i love when you preach about healthy dialogueand no judgement because you're the only ones i trust and believe

It's a super topic! I (19) have decided to keep my mental, physical and emotional purity for my future husband, the one God has chosen for me. Thanks girls for covering these topics too! Blessings

Thank you for speaking the truth and sharing your faith! I pray my children’s generation hears and sees things like this and lives the right lifestyle

I very much agree with everything y'all are saying. I didn't grow up in the christian culture as a child. but when I found the Lord in college and now 9 years in, that culture has easily come on me as a single adult. A have a strong passion to be a part of helping the church change and actually address purity culture in the way that is more to how Jesus would. That women have sexual feelings just as men, that shame shouldn't be the tool, and that there is always restoration. AND if the church continues to not want to talk about it, then we are going to continue to be educated about sexuality by our culture around us, and that is NOT what we want. Let's normalize these conversations. You ladies are doing great, and I'm so thankful for you using your platform to bring this message to more people.

Thank you for sharing your side of this topic. Every word was so true and meaningful to hear. Thank you for being yourself and sharing that with us and helping us. I love watching your videos and this is just amazing. Always watch the podcasts and I love it. I love you girls so much ❤️

I am so excited for this video.❤ I'm a 20 year old girl and I'm saying myself for marriage and I cannot wait to receive your imput of the topic.🙏

Respect to you girls for using your platform to talk about what matters even if it isn't easy. Thank you for that. I'm curious to hear more of your own personal journies and stories about purity and how you came to that decision. Also wish I could hear Lisa's take!!

This is amazing! I grew up in purity culture and have come out of it feeling the exact same way as y'all. So grateful you're using your platform to share this message'

I absolutely thought that you aligned with some of the toxic purity. I am so grateful you made this video. Especially with people like… cough cough… girl defined… on the youtubes…. So proud and so much love for this video

Such a beautiful, thoughtful, loving way of bringing this to light, ladies. I am so grateful for you all! I have heard from Jackie Francois on Ascension Presents videos that the "mission" of men in the Ephesians verse is to "love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself," and then for a wife to "submit" to her husband is to be "under" this mission (sub - mission). What a good mission to be under! :)

As far as the first question about whether it has has meaning, I feel like it can be very individual. I would imagine for most people sex is something that is emotional, vulnerable, intimate, etc., however not for everyone. I think it’s important to remember that people experience sex drive, sexual attraction, and sexual desire in different ways and combinations. This gets even more complex when paired with the multitude of other forms of attraction such as romantic, sensual, platonic, which will also have their own distinctions between desire and attraction. It is also important to remember that just because you don’t understand how people experience people and the world, it doesn’t mean they are lying, confused, or a possible experience for some people. I think these are just some important things to consider when discussing this question.

Thanks for sharing y’all’s point of views. This conversation was so needed!

I have been a follower and subscriber for years but I haven’t actively watched your videos in a year or so. I just saw this video in my subscriptions and I’m so happy I took the time to click on it. I respect y’all so much more now knowing that you don’t support such toxic beliefs. Thank you for speaking up about something so important! ❤️ TW : SA/Rape I was raped in 2013 when I was 14 or 15 years old. I wore a purity ring until then. I truly thought that after that, I was dirty and used up. So I continued to let men use me for a few months after (before going to therapy and realizing I was wrong) because I thought the damage was already done and I couldn’t take it back so I might as well go ahead and go wild and crazy. I also thought it had to be my fault because I was wearing shorts. I wish I had someone I looked up to back then to tell me these same things. If you are reading this and you’re in a similar position, please know you’re not dirty or unworthy of love and respect. And above all else, please know it’s not your fault. ❤️

@cimorellitheband

Жыл бұрын

Omg I’m so so sorry. This truly breaks my heart. I hope you were able to find/are finding healing! You didn’t deserve that and did absolutely nothing wrong. Again, I am so deeply sorry you had to endure something so evil. I wish you all the best and am praying for you 💗😭

@emma-di5ly

Жыл бұрын

I am so sorry that this happened to you. You’re in my prayers, God bless❤

@faithkoebert406

Жыл бұрын

I think it was your comment they read in the podcast and girl, thank you so much for sharing your story. Mine is very very similar and you putting words to everything helped my healing in ways I don’t think I’ll ever be able to put into words. Thank you ♥️

@user-ji3re9bj3i

Жыл бұрын

Wow, you guys brought up some good points also it is none of anyone's business what you do with your body.

When I was growing up in said toxic culture, a lot of people who were SA'd (or hadn't waited) saw it as "too late" for them, and in response began to almost hyper-fixate on sex. It was the thought of, "Well, it already happened, and because that makes me worthless now, I might as well drown myself with it." They thought if they were gonna be thrown away anyway, then they should "play the part". It was utterly heartbreaking but as a victim myself, I remember thinking the same at one point. You guys were spot on with a lot of what you were saying, but I also know that a lot of people wonder about the aftermath of "not being pure" and what that means for them now. That would interesting to hear about from your point of view.

@Paula-um3js

Жыл бұрын

I'd just add, this thinking about being "worthless now" doesn't always come from your beliefs, society or the way you were raised. As for asexual people who are naturally repulsed by sex or see it as something gross and disgusting it's quite obvious we could feel this way in case it happens. I always say it because people tend to think it's 100% family's fault that you were raised "puritan" or religious and just bringing awareness can change this feeling but it gets way deeper in reality. But overall I definitely understand what you mean by that.

I listened to part of this, then finished the 2nd part on the podcast today. I just had to leave a comment on the video. I have never felt more seen, validated, not alone, EVER in my life until I heard this podcast. I’m a 25 year old UPS driver & you guys had me crying on my route today because I had never felt so understood in my life. Reading off comments on sexual assault, I thought was going to be triggering, but man, y’all did it perfectly. Not only the comments that you chose to read, but the commentary back. Y’all are absolute sweethearts and I was at a complete loss for words. I still am. I just knew I had to comment and say thank you from the bottom of my heart, thank you. ♥️ After years of therapy, I had never been told what you all said today. Thank you so much

oh wow , thank you so much for this video. I have only just recently left my church because of this topic and I was SA last year in the church which is where you’re meant to be safest!! I now go to an amazing church and am so happy God got me out of that culture , but I’m so glad you guys have voiced this on your platform because other people may not have given church a second chance after that xx

Loved hearing your perspectives, I felt encouraged and welcomed. Thanks for that

So interesting and so important video, well done and thank you 💪 My little addition : it's never too late to ask to yourself all these questions and to change your mind. It's better to start on the path you actually want but if you didn't really take the time to think about any of this before and now you do, whatever where you are in life, it's never too late. Or if people made the decisions for you and now you want to be free and independent, in either way, like Amy said, take the time for yourself to discover what you really think is best for you. And much love and support to the survivors out there 🙏

I literally thought about this for a few weeks now and all of a sudden you guys talked about this. I feel like God sent yall to me. Thank you for being the sisters i never had just thank you ❤️❤️❤️

Such a needed conversation! I'm so glad yall decided to talk about this💕

Thank you so much for making this. I’m so tired of people using religion to be sexist and bigoted.

This was a really empathetic and kind way to approach a sensitive topic. Loved the points made critisizing both sides. I completely agree. Thanks for making this video.

This has probably got to be one of the most important videos I've ever seen. So glad you took this topic up

I LOVE this video guys!!! Thank you so much for covering this hard topic, it's such a big passion for me as well! So encouraging to see you guys address uncomfortable topics in such a loving way.🙏 Love you all!!

As someone that is not religious and doesn't personally believe in waiting till marriage (I respect those that do) but I feel like s3x is definitely meaningful and powerful regardless. It makes me feel powerful and confident as a woman knowing that I am making my own choices and doing something that makes me feel good both physically and mentally. I personally don't think there is anything wrong with s3x before marriage and sharing yourself with more than one person through your lifetime because it allows you to learn so many things about yourself that you otherwise may not and can also be helpful in things outside of just s3x. I did wait longer than most (I was 21) and I am definitely a much more happy and confident person now than I was before I started having s3x. That being said, it is obviously important to be safe. ❤️

@meggie6319

Жыл бұрын

THIS. Couldn't agree more. I also didn't start until I was 21. I was raised religious and then left the church. Exploring my body and sexuality was so healing.

This was the best weekend I could ever imagine having Thanks to Cimorelli and their inspiring words of wisdom And listening to their beautiful music 😭 Thank you so much Cimorelli for the time and effort you put into this video It means the world to watch your videos

I needed this so much... I've been feeling disowned by my own family and hearing reassurance of my worth makes me very happy I am very thanful I ran into this video

Thank you all for speaking up on this topic! ♥️

I have a friend that is completely stuck in toxic purity, unfortunately it has been affecting our friendship because I always feel like she's judging everyone. Seeing this video gave me hope that she will get better someday, when you're a teen you just believe in whatever people say to you

@Brittneyandgravey

Жыл бұрын

sameeeee

@amandaturner4991

Жыл бұрын

@Ana Luiza Lobato - show your friend this video!!!!!

@RealRealDemocracyDiscourse

5 ай бұрын

You are believing this nonsense too it's just the opposite side. Same sheep different shepherd

Hey girls! I've been watching you for about 10+ years, and have always felt really connected to you all, as I don't have any sisters. I was born and raised Catholic, but grew away from it when I was about 13/14, and I remember you guys started mentioning your religion more at about the same time. I remember feeling sad, up until a few years ago, thinking that you would think less of me because of the decisions I made in life, until this video. Honestly we need more Christians like you being open about these topics, to show that there are some of you that actually get it, and are not judgemental. I loved this video, thank you for it.

I think it’s so important as people who support and have advocated for waiting until marriage for you all to address the toxic parts of that mentality!

I'm a practicing Catholic and experienced a lot of what y'all discussed. Thank you for shedding light and showing the middle ground.

It's so brave of you to have talked about your opinion on this topic. LOVE U! THANK YOU!

@RealRealDemocracyDiscourse

5 ай бұрын

Lmfao brave to just talk?

Ladies, you handled this sensitive topic amazingly well. Thank you for making this video. I think that it will positively impact a lot of people. ❤

This is such a *important* conversation, I don't think anyone that grows up in a very traditional or religious environment wouldn't have issues with this. Even if it's talked about to some extent, still there is A LOT of puzzle pieces missing. Thank you so much for speaking about this, it's a heavy dilemma. I've followed you guys for a long time and this really helps, love you & God bless!🙏🏻❤

I deeply needed this video I have had many questions that you answered thank you so so much This video made my day

OMG I loved this video so much. Thanks a lot for sharing!!!

I am speechless and don't know how to express what how I feel about this video, but it is speechless in a good way because yes I think it is so important that you are talking about this topic and I agree with everything you said in this video. Thank you for talking about this and discussing it in a positive and respectful way.

thank you for talking about this!!! I couldn’t agree with you guys more. this subject totally needs to be talked about.

I agree on this topic 140% agree. Still saving myself for the right guy whoever he is even though I’m 44 years old God knows that I am still saving myself or knows maybe I won’t find them who knows I don’t know but God does❤

@Thufferinthuckotash

Жыл бұрын

I hope you find him ❤❤❤

I appreciated this discussion and, as someone spiritual and non-religious. We can take on each other’s trauma, emotions, and the like subconsciously, consciously, or intuitively in a typical fashion of simply existing. I also believe that that is possible regarding something as important as having sexual relations, even for those from a more scientific standpoint. Such as the notion “we’re all made of energy.” Thus with each interaction we have with another person, a part of us is being shared and vice versa. Therefore, I believe we should focus on whether someone is stable enough as an individual and a human being before they decide to exchange their “energy” with another. And extending that same consideration externally toward someone we like or initially believe we love so we can go beyond the concept/modern construct of marriage in general and rule out any issues at the root before they can evolve into something harmful down the line.

Thank you so much for opening up this conversation and giving your perspective so eloquently and respectfully!

Thank God you guys are addressing this type of topics. Thank you so much ❤

Thank you girls for this!! As a spaniard catholic myself, I find my self always explaining what waiting for marriage because you really want to is, and debunking all this awful things that have been installed in purity culture. Love you all!!

This is amazing. I have never heard it said any better. Thank you for posing these questions!

Very respectfully discussed! I think it's really beneficial to have this perspective on the table.

AMAZING!!! Thank you for using your voice for good.

I’m a Catholic woman that has been shamed due to purity culture. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for this. It’s so important that we as religious people speak against this. ❤

@pornesianparapiod9293

Жыл бұрын

"Purity culture"? So we're a culture now all cause we want to stay virgins till we're married?

@thejupiter2574

Жыл бұрын

@@pornesianparapiod9293 well it's fine if 'you' want to stay a virgin until marriage but it's not right that religion forces it's views and shames people who have premarital relations.

been watching you guys since around 2014/15 and i really appreciate how open minded this video is :)

Thank you. For sharing that topix with us. Especialy because you have oung Fans too. Its very important that famous people talk about this topic more. ❣️

I think this is so interesting and love that you’re bringing up these topics. I personally did not wait until marriage and have no regrets but I also had I think somewhat of a rare scenario where I was in a relationship for a long time and had so many in-depth conversations about sex before ever doing anything. I was a teen and the way my girlfriend and I treated sex was very uncommon and different from the people around us.

@TaylorMeehanMusic

Жыл бұрын

I wish that kind of healthy communication in a relationship was discussed and taught and encouraged more for teens and all people. and I think the shame y’all mentioned is a huge barrier to that.

@lunacarolyn

Жыл бұрын

I don't think that is rare at all - I think that's the most common way :)

@Billy-bc8pk

6 ай бұрын

The thing is, you'll never be able to create a family in that relationship nor bond over that family, so it's just something you do just to feel pleasure. It also binds you to that person but not for the intent of a long-term connection to build a lineage (which isn't possible in your case). So obviously, the expectations, connections, and fruitions of the relationship are going to be completely different.

amy is my idol. my empathy is exactly like hers and i get emotional too when i hear things about the world and see the mistreatment of women especially. iv'e been through things myself and it doesn't make me less worthy or unholy in the eyes of god. and then when i see how certain people are in everyone's business preaching their asses off and never working on themselves it makes me very sad.

@christiandacanay3086

Жыл бұрын

This is why I call her the Country Princess because she deserves to be a princess.

@shell7142

Жыл бұрын

Words are powerful :) may I implore you to look into idols and looking up to people biblically? It’s great to look up to people but not make them an Idol.❤ and I’m glad your eyes are open! The Bible’s straight forward with many of these topics.

@bangtanbutter5583

Жыл бұрын

@@shell7142 you can preach this to religious people, and that’s ok. I myself am not a religious person so your perspective doesn’t hold in this space. (Like a child’s perspective on junk food doesn’t hold when conversing with an adult)

Great topic, I really like the way you guys talked through it. Much love to you and sending my love to Lisa and her family❤❤❤❤

Amen! Thank you for speaking about this publicly. I do know people having these conversations more and more often. Toxic purity culture messed me up more than I knew for a long time. I have been working for years to rewire the damage it has done in how I view myself, my body, others and their choices, s3x, dating, etc. I’m still working through it. But I’m so grateful God has opened my eyes more to the things that have damaged me so that I can be more receptive to His healing mercy.

@kristinamaureen

Жыл бұрын

Also, theology of the body was pry the main thing that started my healing process. It has been a healing balm to my thoughts and acceptance of myself and what is good too!

Thank you ladies for this! Religious or not; I know a ton of people who could benefit from this. I am much more confident in waiting until marriage now. Such an insightful group of women. I wanna reach thru the screen and hug you all 🥰❤️🤗

Saturday is my favorite because I get watch and listen to Cimorelli all day long

This was wonderful and so encouraging! I really appreciate how you guys are willing to share your personal decisions and opinions while still making it very clear that you don't condone shaming other people or forcing everyone to have your mindset. I often feel the same way. I am only 17, and I haven't even had my first boyfriend or kiss yet, but I've always known I wanted to save myself for marriage. It just feels like the right thing for my life, but I'd never judge anyone else for their decisions. Like you guys said though, it's so frustrating when people and society think it's ok to tease or make fun of those of us who want to wait. I had a best friend once who was a year older than me and whenever we would talk about it and I would mention I wanted to save myself, she would just tell me "that will change once you get a boyfriend. I used to think the same thing." It always kind of made me feel disrespected, like she thought that I would be too weak to resist once I was flooded with the hormones of a relationship. For me, I don't want sex to be about instant-gratification. I want it to be a beautiful and sacred part of my relationship with my husband when we are both fully committed to each other, and fully consenting. Until then, I don't need to waste my time or energy worrying about it. And for me, that's ok. I hope if anyone else out there feels the same way, you know it's ok to trust your gut and do what you feel is right for your life, whether that means waiting or not. Much love to you all!

@teabubbles4ever

Жыл бұрын

that’s so beautiful! And very mature and self-aware of you at 17! 💗 wishing you the best!

I am personally a spiritual, one with the earth/universe kind of gal, was raised going to church and vacation Bible school etc.… I didn’t wait until marriage however I 100% appreciate Christina‘s questions because it’s very important! I have the opinion that doing that with just anyone isn’t good, you swap energies and you are actually doing a vulnerable thing with someone you may or may not know. Whether you process your emotions or not, it is an emotional and spiritual thing to do with a person. I know many women who have gone celibate and did in fact wait until marriage for their person and I think a lot of women or even men, go through that point where they don’t want to give up their bodies and emotions and spirit to just anyone. They want a connection. Love. I appreciate you girls so much for sitting down and speaking about this.

Praise the Lord!!! It's beautiful to see women out there who don't think men need to fall at their feet but also women who understand that women need to have a voice. "You are a child of God, and that is your identity," amen preach sisters preach! Amen raise our children to be pure but DO NOT condemn those who have made mistakes. Oh my gosh there was so much that you guys said that was so true! I definitely can see how the quiet quiet life I have lived has made my relationship difficult a little difficult because I was told that everything secual was bad before marriage. I wouldn't even say that I would just say it wasn't spoken about. And my boyfriend came from a Christian family that did have these discussions so it has been a huge culture shock for me. So thank you for having the courage and platform to talk about this. Being this is definitely fighting for Christian values, I pray this stays up a long time because unfortunately I see our culture dividing even more than it is.

As someone who has definitely *not* been part of purity culture I'd say Sex and meaningfulness might be compared to a hug? Like you can hug a bunch of people, maybe because you just really like hugs and they feel nice, but they don't have to necessarily mean anything further than "I just like hugs", where as in if you hug a friend, a lover, a family member, the hug might be more meaningful because of your connection to this person.