It is tiring to think about how often people weaponize their own personal preferences, beliefs, values, etc. into a “you’re lesser than me” or “I’m better than you” judgement. It solves nothing and literally serves no purpose.

I graduated with an Anthropology degree but currently work in an office doing unrelated work. A man I worked with told me he didn't believe I had studied Anthropology because I wore makeup and enjoyed dressing very feminine (ie. dresses and skirts). His narrow minded view of me as a person based on his assumption I was dressing that way to conform or attract men but I am a happily married lesbian and when I saw I dress and do my makeup the way I do for myself I am saying that with my whole chest.

Honestly, it's just stupid to expect someone to look a certain way based on what they stand for. Not all feminists are women who dress provocatively and have pink hair, for example. Just like not every environmentalist dresses in a boho fashion. I bet there is a bunch of goths who are very good zero wasters. But people just judge based on looks.

It's not lost on me that makeup, something that is coded as feminine, is labeled as "not necessary." People will find ways to called feminine things "frivolous," and use that as a means to make themselves feel liberated.

People are a lot more that their basic survival needs! YES!

You know,I just realised this is partly why I stopped going to Quaker meeting for worship. There is a certain amount of subliminal pressure to conform to particular lifestyle choices. A lot of Quakers are RIGOROUSLY spartan and to be perfectly honest I think they are ruddy miserable. There is almost a "I'm suffering. You arnt, and you should be feeling guilty" attitude that has nothing to do with Quakerism actually. When I look back to the meetings I get a vision of dry crunchy short hair,beige clothing,no makeup,no perfume. A lady once burst into tears because I visited a Quaker meeting house wearing makeup. But Elizabeth Fry once attended meeting for worship wearing purple boots with orange laces. Its almost like self-flaggelation.

One of my biggest learnings/disappointments with "alternative communities" is exactly how in the end most people on them just try to put you in a different box, but still a box. And how our level of commitment/engagement/enjoyment is judged based on how accurately we fit into the "starter-pack" aesthetic. And it's even more infuriating because on one side femme aesthetics/activities are shamed, but on another side, cis men in the community still uphold the same fucked up beauty standards regarding femininity ( how young your skin looks, how shiny your hair is, how lean you are, how big or small are your ass and boobs,...) they just expect you "naturally" fit those beauty standards. It's the same old misogyny.

I teach, and i thrift all my clothes to match the style i like (as people would when they shop). And when my learners hear i am eco conscious/an environmentalist, they are always so supprised because i look "nice and clean". I explain i just thrift my outfits, sorry that i dont look like a "tree hugger".

Do the people who make that criticism also apply it to men who shave or get their hair cut, who wear deodorant and moisturiser? No, it’s a criticism applied to women, as ever. It’s a distraction. So much judgement in the world today!

Telling fem people that if they wear makeup, theyre still oppressed is just the other side of the coin of telling fem people they must wear makeup

THANK YOU - I've been saying this for years so I'm glad to see some people understand. I'm non-white, and I refuse to entertain yet another blonde hippie with super fine hair criticize me for shaving my legs, using shampoo, or straightening my hair for a job interview. I'm all for broadening beauty standards, but in the end of the day, you CANNOT tell someone else what to do with their body. It's condescending AF.

This conversation is particularly relevant when it comes to veganism also. Whether or not people try to talk me out of it or become open to switching themselves seems to depend a lot on whether I "look healthy" or not. Especially true for close friends and family members. As such I have found that focusing on skin/hair care and being as physically fit as I have time for has simply made things easier for me on a very practical level. Sometimes it's easier to pick our battles when it comes to non-conformity.

Thank you so much for this video! I'm a young woman working in a federal state office for environmental and conservation matters. I try to live sustainably in many aspects, though not going all out in that regard. Personally, I like to dress nicely and put on makeup from time to time, I find joy in fashion etc. But for work, I always feel the need to do less of everything. I very rarely wear makeup to work, even though I'd actually like to some times, and when I do I actually feel a bit ashamed, or like colleagues may not take me as serious, because I'm "vain" or unprofessional. So your video helps me to rethink these thoughts and gives me validation that I can do beneficial things for the environment, while still caring about my looks when I feel like it. Thank you!

people who are very critical to others for following certain aesthetic ideals, have in my experience ususally not freed themselves from aesthetic standards themselves, they have most of the time just shifted them towards a beauty standard that exists in a different setting; boho/hippie aesthetic also is an aesthetic, where people tend to gravitate towards similar looks, to create a feeling of belonging.

I completely agree. The backlash of women not conforming to beauty standards is greater, but it’s also more of a refusal than an action. Not styling your hair beyond washing it, no makeup, not shaving, wearing comfortable or functional clothes rather than ones made for fashion are actions of not doing something. Just living in a woman’s natural state is an act of rebellion. For men, not conforming to gender norms is active. Painting nails, skirts, makeup, or just putting more effort into their appearance than what is deemed “normal”.

Yes! Very true. I’m a psychologist and i have noticed that some people might relate not “caring” for themselves, the self-care is normally sold and directed towards beauty standards, for overall negligence, similar to a broken window theory, which can, sometimes, worsen signs and symptoms of depression.

As usual, I love your nuanced view on this aspect of sustainability. I hope that everyone who wants to live more low waste gets a chance to hear it. 👏👏

Yes to all of this! Also, a lot of the creators that are successful in the sustainability space do fit the western beauty standards even if they don't wear a lot of make up etc. (Think the entire social media vegan movement circa 2018.) In some ways being thin and having naturally beautiful features is even more highly valued in our culture than wearing a lot of make up and altering your appearance, which is often seen as "trying too hard" or "being fake". To me that always felt like such an unattainable beauty standard since there was not much you could do unless you were born looking like a model.

it’s silly that people get upset when they see environmentally conscious people conforming to society’s beauty standards.. Because by doing so they are also imposing a standard of beauty on you. Expecting 100% all natural clean beauty all the time or it’s wrong. That is a new standard of beauty and now we’re juggling the two.

I've always had a very liberal stance towards makeup and beauty - I engage with it if I want to. I've attended job interviews (and gotten the job, mind you) without a shred of makeup on my face and my hair in a messy bun, because that is what I felt like that day. ATM I am fighting breast cancer and I set the goal for myself to at least put on makeup every day, as a form of pampering ritual and to make myself look a bit more healthy. I'm not ashamed of the sick me, it's just nice for myself to be able to go to the bathroom without seeing the embodiment of sickness in the mirror each time. It's kind of nice to go to the bathroom, have a look in the mirror and think "Hey, I look great!", just like things used to be back in the day before my diagnosis.