So fascinating how our own experiences influence us so much. I can’t imagine having a second child before the first one can lowkey take care of themselves but that’s only because I was a whole kindergartener dressing myself and putting pop tarts in the toaster when my brother was born 😂 Congrats y’all! The Brady kiddos will definitely be alright ✨❤️

@shanboody

2 жыл бұрын

I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU AND YOUR BROTHER'S RELATIONSHIP

@svitrai

2 жыл бұрын

Same :D Even though I'm the youngest, butthere's a big gap between me and my sisters

@toni-ann18

2 жыл бұрын

@@shanboody j Jj

@aliiiiiiiful

2 жыл бұрын

This is comforting im on my 2nd & my daughter is already 6

I appreciate Jared being so open in his communication. So many times we only hear about the mothers emotions but not the man's. This was great.

@victoriagouv9932

2 жыл бұрын

Yes I was thinking the same, it’s so great

@MultiDaisy1995

2 жыл бұрын

I REALLY APPRECIATE that not only is communicating, He is communicating the things that are hard for most people to hear. The things that people won’t say for fear of being judged or hurting their partners feelings. I honestly think you guys are great parents! You’re both setting your kiddos up to be awesome communicators!

I agree with being intinital with helping siblings be close. My son and daughter are three yrs apart. They noticed my husband and I have date nights and we have 1 on 1 time with them and they decided among themselves they would have a brother and sister day. Legit planned out the whole day of fun things to do around our house. They are very close and it's amazing to see their relationship as siblings develop.

@jennifertaylor-wright7694

2 жыл бұрын

Completely agree

@jennifertaylor-wright7694

2 жыл бұрын

Same with my husband and I and honestly it’s made an amazing journey for them

@THIKKnASS

2 жыл бұрын

I love that 😍

@malibooyaw

2 жыл бұрын

That is so beautiful 💛 how old were they when they started their sibling dates?

@neoloanderson6676

2 жыл бұрын

😍

I'd just like to say I'm LOVING THESE COMMENTS! I love reading about your life story and your experiences! In all honesty I stopped engaging with KZread after having Ryu and Jared graciously took over doing the posting here for me because there's a WEIRD thing with KZread where talking about your personal life engages well, but then I also found that I'd come to the comments and see people making personal attacks or assumptions rather than taking the lead to share similarly about themselves. Of course it's natural and I accepted that putting myself out there personally meant accepting these attacks, but that didn't mean I had to engage with them or read them. But right now, Jared is on vacation and so I had to do the post and I came to the video to make sure everything was fine and WOW I'm very refreshed by the community response here and didn't realize until now how much I've missed it. TL:DR please keep telling me about you, I already know me, so when I come to the comments you're really who I'm fascinated to learn about

@theslenorag

2 жыл бұрын

Love the candor, transparency and vulnerability.

@yveqeshy

2 жыл бұрын

Shan your channel has consistently been a blueprint for how to have conversations honestly about matters that we often don't even know how to hold and this is why we always keep coming back. Congratulations to you and your family

My brother is the BEST GIFT I've ever received from my parents. I've thanked them for it several times which made them feel good because they initially weren't too sure about having a second. Here's hoping Ryu will do the same when she's older ❤️

@shanboody

2 жыл бұрын

I love love loveeeeee this

“You’ll still love and look after it though” “No” 😂😂 love when they joke around like that

@shanboody

2 жыл бұрын

lol he would, Jared would look after your kid if you asked he's very nice ha

I love how Shannon went from “no kids” to “3 kids?”. It shows that the right partner can change your perspective when you feel safe enough to explore things you had reservations about

@Mamaisthesource

2 жыл бұрын

Yes. I love that for her! She's blossomed so much

@MissMadelineMM94

2 жыл бұрын

Like Jeannie Mae

I’m an only child, and as an adult I will scream it from the rooftops that siblings aren’t over rated. As a child the undivided attention is lush but as an adult I see how it likely stunted my social skills, how lonely it feels, and how much responsibility and isolation I feel with my family relationships. Even if you aren’t or won’t be close to your siblings, having someone on your team , who’s witnessed your life from the very beginning is invaluable

@nifaha.4832

2 жыл бұрын

I never thought about it like this ‼️ This is a great POV

@kikib.4519

2 жыл бұрын

As a only child, I agree.

@lovespell4425

2 жыл бұрын

I am a only child and I would do it all over again but maybe I had a different experience than other people

@neoloanderson6676

2 жыл бұрын

I have one daughter and she is 15 I am worried and feel guilty as her friendship groups are in and out of fazes and sometimes shes says she has no one to talk to. We are super close, but a I have 3sisters from mum and I am super close with my mum, it's not the same has having siblings. I wish I had given her brothers or sisters 😔.

@neoloanderson6676

2 жыл бұрын

@@lovespell4425 That gives me hope 🤞🏾

"She was 2 months old... and I was like let's just knock this out" 😂 same girl same

I love seeing the differences in opinion being heard instead of attacked. Loved this video

@ayatchafaqui

2 жыл бұрын

Yes !! Love how you worded this. It’s so refreshing to watch (:

@rollthedice5682

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, they have such a healthy dynamic, it ashame most couples are not like this because this is how it should be

I feel Shan with the next baby questions, for me as someone who has fertility issues I hate getting the question of “when are ya having a baby?” like bruh stop asking you don’t know what’s going on regardless of whether couples already have a child or not.

@shanboody

2 жыл бұрын

it's also insane that Jared doesn't feel or experience this as much, the people who worked at the bank were literally ganging up on me to have a second baby when I'd barely given birth to Ryu yet. It's just a lot. There's no one right way to live

@AliciaRodriguez_

2 жыл бұрын

Same!💔 2.5 years and counting and I get asked on a monthly basis. This week I made the decision to tell friends and family that "I don't want to talk about it anymore. If you see me pregnant I'm pregnant, if you see me not pregnant then I'm not".

@michellezevenaar

2 жыл бұрын

Im 40 and have a 3 year old and a 11 month old and people still ask if I'm going to have another. They were unexpected after having fertility issues and having given up on having kids. Years of people asking me qhen we are going to have kids was very painful, explaining that we won't have kids was painful. Now explaining that 2 is enough and that I'm happy I didn't die giving birth to my youngest and I don't want to risk what we have is annoying and a bit painful too. I do understand that they are just trying to find a topic to talk about and connect over so I try not to let my emotions control the conversation.

@rollthedice5682

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah... thing is these questions actually make fertility issues worse because it stresses you out and puts your body into an unhealthy environment to have a baby. So it becomes harder.

The key is to really show enough love and attention to the older child and include them in loving and caring for baby. Having extended family grandparents and aunts and uncles come to either focus on older baby or allow you to focus on older baby. My niece was a fussy baby. She’s high strung, spoiled. The birth of her little brother grounded her. They’re 3yrs apart. She loves him and he adores her. But we had 2 additional adults come for first 4 mos and put special attention into giving extra love to 3yr old. Second baby was also super mellow. I think 3yrs is perfect. 3yr old is old enough to get it, that he’s a baby, but they’re close enough now at 2,5 to play a little but she takes special care to be sweet to him as her little brother.

@shanboody

2 жыл бұрын

incredible advice

@TheMoonDejesus

2 жыл бұрын

@@shanboody ❤️ 🙏🏽

Mom of 3 boys here... 1st baby was planned and we were so in love. When we tried for baby 2. I felt guilty the whole time. How can I love another?? Baby #2 looked like dad so much. It was so easy to love him. When baby 3 came, he was the spitting image of my husband and baby #2. I swear they are twins. Which makes loving him even that more easier. It's crazy how our hearts have room to love more, when you can't imagine possible. I am done done now for sure. 3rd baby was a rough recovery experience. To everyone thinking or are pregnant, congrats and I wish nothing but a strong healthy baby and recovery for you mommas. 😘

@shanboody

2 жыл бұрын

what a great story!!!

Jared has been making me crack up for years at this point, always enjoy this style of video because it just feels like yall are having a healthy dialogue that we just so happened to be privileged to, even when you are asking the tough questions.

I am the oldest, I just turned 25 (unplanned) my parents had me young. My little sister recently turned 18 and my brother is 2 1/2 (He was definitely not planned either). Me and siblings have an amazing bond no matter the age gaps.

i love your open and authentic conversations. So wonderful

I love this, thank you for sharing your feelings so openly. To hear both sides is refreshing. I wish you all well.

I love these kind of conversations you guys have an easy open space for discourse and you can tell your relationships is beautiful

the thing I admire the most about your relationship is the vulnerability. since seeing how emotionally available you two are it's now high up on my list.

I'm good on kids, if I have a second, that's cool but not needing another. My sister only had one baby too so we told them that they're sister-cousins... they're like 7 months apart and get along well. (My brother-in-law spoke this into existence before they were born which I thought was kind of cute). They're both only children who are kind of finding a closer connection with their cousin. Not siblings, but the relationship will be special to them. Will be great to see how they're relationship grows.

Jared is the BEST! I love his honesty and perspectives. I can only hope to one day find a guy like him

Being an only child can be lonely and frustrating at times. My only child friends and I talk about it all the time. Im sure there are benefits, but getting out of your head and not over analyzing yourself and learning to socialize is difficult for us at times. There can also be IMMENSE boredom. Rhe good thing is that you learn to entertain yourself and friends can become an add-on instead of a necessity.

@shanboody

2 жыл бұрын

loved this reflection thank you

@superstarasap

2 жыл бұрын

This is so accurate! I am grown-grown and still struggle with socializing and not overthinking and overanalyzing things. It wasn't until I read your statement that I truly realized that I am not making excuses and it is a product of being an only child. 🤯

@MayaParris

2 жыл бұрын

superstarasap Having to entertain yourself for long stretches of time (especially before social media) could involve a lot of analysis. I find that overthinking was almost like a hobby to me as a kid. 😭

@md8388

2 жыл бұрын

I share those same qualities to this day as well and had two older siblings to grow up with. They were however 5 and 6 years older though so it may have been very similar to the experience of an only child. I was unplanned as well😊.

@mishawilliams4319

2 жыл бұрын

I am over a half a century old and only child when I was in my twenties it was very difficult to live solo once I graduated from University I didn't feel it until I didn't have any roommates and then I transition and decided to get to enjoy my own company by getting DVDs fine reading books spending hours praying and focusing on my own goals with my goal chart now I absolutely enjoy being by myself I can go for days not having socializing with people in person I do keep in touch and contact people on the phone and video chat but I don't feel it's necessary for me to be in a person's space to feel validated like I used to I know how to entertain myself and that's very important to do that, and another caveat is that I chose to be single and have no children if I didn't find a spouse in the time period of childbearing, I'm fine with that now it was difficult at first but I embrace season in my life and important for us to be content in the state that we are in and all of this comes with life experience knowledge and wisdom comes along through experiences in our lives I am happy for this couple having their soon to be two children, children are a blessing and they bring blessings with them 🙏🏿🤗😊

They are so transparent. I hope they can keep it up and always be cool with each other.

It is crazy to see how easy it is to relate to everything said in this video, from both ends. Just happy to know some of us are not alone!

I love the flow of the conversation ✅

Such a mature conversation. This is really helpful for anyone family planning.

This is something I always wanted to know since you guys announce the second pregnancy

I absolutely love your honesty …. I know you guys are becoming celebrity’s but please don’t lose this honesty Shan it’s EVERYTHING🥺🥺🥺🥺

Shan: you’ll still love and look after it tho” Jared: “Uh NO” You two are hilarious 😂😂😂

That’s crazy. It felt like it was yesterday when you were first pregnant. Congrats to the both of you! Cherish these beautiful moments with you and your family 💕

I’m so happy for you guys, congratulations! This baby is a blessing for you and IS blessed to have you two as parents. The open communication between you always amazes me (I didn’t grow up with open communication at all) and it gives me hope that maybe one day, I to will have that with someone too 🥰🙏🏽

love Jared transparency. Blessed to you both.

Appreciate Jared openness and honesty!

Dear Shannon, your experiences are so relatable and super refreshing to hear people just saying then out loud. You think right now the second baby is just going to be extra work; what struck me about the second child is the children also entertain each other what gives you more hands free time. ❤️

My parents were so intentional about me and my siblings being close as well! My mom kept saying "when we die, you guys will only have each other!" And now we are super duper close!! That's definitely something I'm grateful for

Love this, all of the same thoughts and fears I had when I had my daughters 19 months apart on purpose 😅 I decided to have my last with a 3 years gap. It was crazy the difference, either way it’s seriously the most amazing, challenging, fulfilling, && blessed journey. I can’t wait to watch along as y’all navigate life as a family of four 🙌🏾💓

Truly appreciate Jared talking about getting a vasectomy !

I love both of your honesty ❤️ You will both be amazing parents and have so many life blessings. Remember, you can have it all, just not at one time, it’s spread out evenly through out your lives.

Your baby stumbled upon you , just rolled into the party 🥳, lol ... the babies thst aren't planned tend to be the greatest joy. Anyone I know who say they weren't expecting ,end up feeling complete with the addition. Feeling overwhelmed from the beginning, is normal though. Especially if circumstances mean that the child may be a strain for a while.

@6288mm

2 жыл бұрын

I definitely agree! Our oops baby was and still is the kindest, gentlest, and sweetest of all of our children. Best surprise ever and the greatest blessing!

@cutietae247

2 жыл бұрын

@@6288mm my stepmom says the same about her youngest !I can't imagine life without her, she is so sweet. She is 4 now, the hardest parts eventually pass and it is totally worth the initial shock!

You two are both talking more and more grown up in a way even while always being adults on KZread. Parent forming :)

Hope Jared is enoying this break. awesome.

@shanboody

2 жыл бұрын

He is! He's on vaccation by himself right now as we speak

I’ve really got to give it to my family lol I came 15 and 16 whole years after my two brothers who were born right after each other. My parents were shocked and basically done as my bros were about to be off to college. They call me the happy accident too:) Families come in all sorts of unexpected ways and I can definitely appreciate it now. I remember growing up feeling like an only child with 4 parents. I begged my mom for a little sister not understanding what “tubes tied” meant. When I came into adulthood, the greatest gift was finally feeling like a sister and it was the most special shift I think I’ve experienced to date. I wouldn’t change a thing. Im so incredibly happy for you all and can’t wait to watch you kill it as the amazing parents you already are❤️

Literally my life currently! (6 mths prego with a 15 month old) my partner & I conversation, fears & concerns. So helpful to see just a real conversation about a 2nd unplanned baby.

We are in the saaaaaaame situation right now! And we re feeling aaaaaall the same! And I feel all the same. Feels good to know we are not the only one. Thanks for that!

This was so similar to my experience as well, thank you so much for being transparent, so humble so straightforward and really sharing this beautiful journey. Being a Parent is never easy and no matter how, when or what happens it honestly is amazing. I loved how you are evolving together and accepting the life changes and Shan you are so amazing before and now with babies you're an amazing mom!! We always and constantly changing and growing with our children. When my babies were born my husband had this really special bond and still does its just a different journey for both men and women. Jared is going to fall in love with baby no 2 just watch! It's just different each phase of 1 to 2 but your family is amazing and blessed I promise you it will be alright. All I see is love, openess and just growth and appreciation for each other life. Congratulations and happy for you both 😊 💕

I got pregnant with my second child when my fist turned 1. It was overwhelming because I felt like a bad mom. I had bad sciatic nerve pain and I couldn’t do much with my son while his dad was at work. He stayed in the house with me all day. And then I couldn’t fathom how I could love another child as much as I loved him. I was like there is no way. He has all my love. My princess was born and I fell in love all over again. But then I had the baby blues for a few days after because again I felt like a terrible mother to my baby boy. I had a c section and found it hard to heal, take care of a newborn and a toddler as well. I had to ask people to take him for a few hrs each day and it broke my heart when I would see them taking him. Like I didn’t want him and only wanted the baby. I felt like shit. But luckily I learned how to manage 2 babies. Didn’t make excuses anymore and became a super mommy for my 2 favorite people. ❤️💪

I’m happy for you guys, congrats!!! I don’t have any kids but from experiences with my nephews I notice that if you include the other kids in moments with the baby like tummy time or when feeding, it can make the sibling bond stronger once they get older.

I'm 4 days away from my due date and I am already planning on when to start trying for a sibling for my son, but after that I'm done lol. Kids are no joke 😂Two and done anything after that it would just be meant to happen.

@aleesharenea1477

2 жыл бұрын

Good luck whenever your little one decides to come and the fourth trimester is NO JOKE. be prepared for sleepless nights and waking up every couple hours the Joys of having a Newborn😊

@CB-123

2 жыл бұрын

Lol you may feel differently very soon…4th trimester will come like a thief in the night to kill steal and destroy your peace and happiness. Lol but you still love them regardless..

I have one sister and I love her and our relationship so much! When we were growing up it was so good to have someone on your team when your parents are being annoying. We will always have each other ❤️

I agree with you & your moms reasoning. I am the oldest of 3 and I LOVE having siblings. It’s nice to have a buffer between you & your parents, and also someone who has a totally different perspective on things in life. Siblings also help with character development a lot. I can usually spot an only child from a mile away. Can’t quite put my finger on it, but they definitely move with main character energy in every facet of life lol.

I really enjoyed this video! I'm so happy for you guys, omg 🥳 and I'm excited to see the journey with the new addition to the family and even Ryu's reaction when the baby comes love from Barbados 🇧🇧

Im currently pregnant with an unplanned baby and for some reason I feel really guilty about it. It made me so sad cuz mt first daughter was 100% planned.

@aleesharenea1477

2 жыл бұрын

How old is your first daughter and I feel You will feel more connected once your second is born. It's that way with some ppl.

@RachEl-ub9ep

2 жыл бұрын

It’s totally okay! I was completely unplanned. My brother had only been born 5 months before she mom and dad conceived me - in fact my mom was on birth control. I makes no difference to me. I didn’t even know I was unplanned until I started doing the math when I was 14. I still exist, my parents don’t love my brother and I differently despite planning him and me surprising them, and I love them as much as I can. In fact it’s a fun joke now! As long as you love them, they’ll be happy to be alive.

@lucylouxxx797

2 жыл бұрын

@@RachEl-ub9ep that was a great explanation thanks

Just wanted to say I have 3 older sisters & a baby brother, my parents constantly reinforced how important our relationships with each other. My mom use to say "you can pick on your sister bc she's your blood, anyone else does & they have to deal with you too." LOL As an 34 year old married, mom I talk to my siblings pretty much daily- even if it's just our group text. We are still extremely close as adults and I'm so grateful for our relationship. ❤️ You guys are gonna do great!

@shanboody

2 жыл бұрын

YES I believe in this! Doesn't mean it WILL workout but it helps to have a parent who encourages the relationship

Hope you’re feeling better these days Shan. Sending you positive vibes 🤍

nah my daughter is 13 mos & I couldn’t imagine having one right after I had her. If anything, 3-4 yrs is my sweet spot. & that’s a big fat IF

Jared makes me hope I can find someone who is open and willing to communicate, be open, and express themselves. Hard finding that out here. I have a sibling, but feel like an only child, so I can't relate to that sibling bond thing, but I wish I could.

@melissarivera4263

2 жыл бұрын

He has a lot of self awareness that is rare in anybody, man or woman. Add on the willingness to communicate, it’s so nice seeing their partnership.

@DeeDellimore

2 жыл бұрын

Sameeee my brother is 19 years older and we are not close at all

This is completely off topic but Shan you’re GLOWING! You look so beautiful and healthy! Happy for you both 💕

I'm so happy to hear you guys are having another girl!! Awe so they shall be close like you and lauren. I'm excited I just found out I'm pregnant too, 6 weeks and this was a surprise baby too, cause me and my partner purposely had our 1st one, who is now 18 months, so perfect timing!! Were always on the same kid journey I love it❤

Shannon congratulations on the second pregnancy

@shanboody

2 жыл бұрын

Edward I adore you always to the moon in back. I hope we meet in person oneday I owe you lunch and a HUGE hug

@EdwardSanchezProductions

2 жыл бұрын

@@shanboody I really hope that one day I can meet you in person and give you a big hug and you are definitely paying for lunch lol 😂

Yeeeees!! I'm here for you both having babies...PERIOD! Ryu is adorable and she will be a great big Sister ❤ ❤ I love that you share what you do as a couple with us about your growing family, THANK YOU Jared and Shan❣👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🎉🎉🎉🥳🥳🥳✌🏾

I'm all for having 2 kids and being intentional about them being close because they can keep each other busy and entertained. 😂 I think being an only child can get lonely sometimes.

Jared I understand your concerns. Very valid. Y'all will figure it out but its not all fun and games with two kids.

Only child here...I strongly believe that parents should always have two kids; it's much healthier on so many levels. It's better for kids' development, and it helps with family dynamics. It's also way more fun.

@lovespell4425

2 жыл бұрын

You don't know it's way more fun until or unless you experience it * I am a only child and I would not have changed a thing * Having siblings does not always mean they will be close* But I learned a lot and enjoyed my time as the only child

@queserasera87

2 жыл бұрын

@@lovespell4425 I probably should have mentioned that I was an only child but also experienced living with half-sisters and a step-brother. There can be bad moments, and I don't get along with one of my half-sisters, but I still prefer having siblings. (Plus, the bad moments were a vital part of the experience too and helped me develop--I would definitely have worse interpersonal skills without siblings.) Having siblings also helped balance the parent-child dynamic because there were multiple perspectives to gain insight from, so things were less likely to be one-sided or distorted. And the fun of it, in my opinion, was observing how our personalities interacted/clashed with each other. It's definitely not boring!

@roxywyndham

2 жыл бұрын

ahhhh what about financial cost? 🥴

@lauramenendez3212

2 жыл бұрын

@@lovespell4425 I would say majority of cases it will be more fun. Siblings can grow apart but when they’re kids and they’re close in age is very likely for them to be friends and play with each other. Kids like to play why would the majority choose to play alone.

I call my second kid, the redemption kid! It has been a blessing in so many ways! Ypu guys would love the second one just as much as Rayu!

I ride or die for my sister, and it’s someone who only knows your unique upbringing situation. If I didn’t have my sister I don’t know how I would even begin to face life. Cheers to the both of you

I have four brothers. Everyday I’m reminded of how loved I am. And it’s so beautiful seeing qualities of myself in my siblings. My parents fostered our relationship as children and made sure we were aware of the bond we have! As we grew into teenagers and adults, we are each other’s best friends, it’s just a bonus that we’re related! I am excited for your family!

Appreciate the honesty here! My brother and I are 5 years apart and I dont know if I was planned but I have a feeling I wasn't 🤠 siblings are great tho, my brother and i have each other's back and is just a very singular kind of relationship imo.

I love the attitude you two have about the new kid on the block lol. 16:52 was the best part though 😂

Everytime I watch you both I understand something new about myself, or something that I’ve been feeling! We’re currently pregnant with our second child and like Shan said this connection just feels different to me because this child was not really a thought, until it happened 😩 nonetheless, we’re excited to now have two children!

Having that second baby feels you have three. LOL. Initially it feels so overwhelming. But you realize that all the baby tasks are less daunting because you have experience. Very happy for y’all.

I'm so excited for Ryu to have a sister!! Am curious how you two felt knowing your second was a girl, too (or if it didn't provoke any feelings at all!). Congrats 🤱🏽

I remember praying for a little brother when I was in kindergarten every night when my family sat down for dinner. Little did I know, my parents took the hint and doubled down on the birth control…but they ended up having my brother the the next year by mistake anyway 😅. He’s the best gift I’ve ever gotten and I’m grateful we are so close. Watching Ryu and the new baby’s relationship develop over time is going to be so fun and interesting. And once they get to be a certain age they can really entertain themselves.

Congratulations ✨

Shout's out to Shan's mom.

My first baby is still 'baking' and I get asked how many I will have. Like, can I just have this one first then take it from there🙄. Also, I feel like I'm with Jared on the connection thing, even though the baby is growing inside of me. I'm waiting for it to pop and maybe I will feel the connection and love and everything.

I thought one of the most interesting parts of this conversation was both of your feelings on the experience of this second pregnancy, particuarly both of your feelings of connectedness (or lack thereof). I study reproductive science and medicine and a great course I previously enrolled in was dedicated to cross-cultural analysis of birth and childrearing practices. One topic we covered that I really have changed perspectives on was the experience of the partner-to-the-pregnant person. I will totally own the fact that early in my education I eye-rolled when I heard about partners of pregnant people being emotionally disconnected to the pregnancy and for what I thought was poor ability to cope with the stress of a pregnancy that you are not even carrying! Pet peeve I've always had is when couples say "we're pregnant." BUT what we discussed in that course, and what I continue to educate myself on, is the fact that men or partners of pregnant people don't get to undergo the physiologic and anatomic changes of pregnancy. For people carrying a fetus, they experience a substantial physical change in their body shape and function over the course of many months, forcing them to adjust to their changing role. The partner, rather, goes through this period of preparation for parenthood, that true liminal time, just watching, with their hands tied, not physically allowed to participate in the pregnancy. Of course there are many ways for a partner to be hands on in pregnancy, but that's not my point. I appreciate Jared and Shan expressing the challenge in connecting with this second pregnancy, for completely separate reasons. I have great respect for Jared's explanation of the struggle to connect when you are not the one involved in the actual baby-growing while still being faced with the same "what-ifs" about what parenting will be like. It's awesome to hear the two of you support each other owning your experience. This is all to say it is really interesting to consider the way not-pregnant-people cognitively enter parenthood. Maybe a topic to cover - expectant dads and partners, how do they feel? Thank you for sharing these conversations - very much sparks great conversations in my own life and work. XO

I admire both of you really knowing you feeling and sharing them. Especially since our society is so judgmental about having any feelings other than happy and enthusiastic when it come to children. I'm sure a huge amount to people have had thought an feelings like you and hopefully you sharing them will make them feel seen and like they aren't alone.

I Love yall for real! 💜💜

I love Jared and Shan sm 😂😂😂😂😂😂

100% My mom was the exact same! Very intentional of making sure my sisters and I were close and understood the importance of family and being close with each other. My sisters and I are best friends today. When people say that they they never talk to their siblings, I usually blame their parents for not ensuring that relationship and bond was formed or their sibling is just toxic etc. But usually siblings are meant to be close and it's up to the parents to do that for them.

Shan: “you’ll still love at look after it” Jared: “uh no” I died laughing lmfao

I think you are both great and appreciate your honesty and the insightful conversations. A couple of things I want to mention: 1. It may also be different because with the first child there is the novelty and fear of the experience. For the second one, you've already been through it so you are better prepared for what is coming so emotions are not as intense. 2. I appreciate you want your children to be close and I know you are insightful enough to handle it in a conscious way. But please really consider how you do it. Do not create an expectation or pressure for your children to have a specific type of relationship or closeness. I don't feel that saying things like "that's your kidney" is a healthy approach to building relationships. So please consider ways in which you can foster and support their relationship without putting your expectations on them. Congratulations and best of luck.

Shan you look so good pregnant. You don't look bloated you have no stretch marks, your snatched. I hope I have genes like you whenever I become pregnant.

Ah this is so lovely to be a witness to. My sister and I are 3.5 years apart and we are eachothers no matter what happens person. We didn't grow up with unconditional love and weve been through some hard shit together. It has been an absolute privilege that we have been able to establish this relationship with such love and admiration for eachother despite the trauma we have experienced together. She my person and always will be.

the part where you guys explained the slight disconnect with the second baby because it's like "the baby chose" made so much sense to me, as someone who never wanted kids and got pregnant unexpectedly

Great insight shown here.

As a mother of 3 adult children (1 daughter, 2 sons), I can say that it brings me so much joy and comfort that the 3 of them are extremely close. They are all in their 30’s now and I will say it’s been a journey for them to get to this point of bonding. It is a chapter of life we are all grateful for. 💜

I am so deeply grateful for my siblings. I have two older sisters and one little brother and they are my best friends. I genuinely don't know how I would have overcome so much in life without them. My sisters and I will fight a lot while growing up but we became close after I went to college. I guess I realized someone else experienced the same household as me and they would be the only ones to understand. It was very eye-opening and ever since then, they are my rocks.

This is the exact convo I had with my husband. Our daughter was 17 months when we started ‘loosely trying’. On the 18th month he was going out of town and we were only intimidate one time, that one time we conceived.

Love this and the honesty! It really us true, every time is different. It's when you accept the difference is when you can see the vast complexities you love ❤️. Congratulations!!! When the oldest hits double digits baby fever cones back 🤔... we shall see down the road

2 kid parent here. Super close to my siblings. I had my first at the age of 33 and I think I would have been ok with just one but her dad also though she should have a sibling. We also did not try but we’re not trying not to. Her sister was conceived just a month after that convo was semi agreed on. I love the idea of them being each others person as well. Parenting is wild with a 2 yo and an infant so I plan on making this intentional for them too. 💖

I totally get it about the connection being different with unplanned pregnancy. I'm currently 4 moths pregnant and I had an IUD so it's really hard to feel the connection. Maybe once I start feeling more movement it'll change

Girrrrrl. I just had my second baby who was quite the surprise as well. I was still breastfeeding my first, we even used our usual method of BC, the pull out method! It was so hard to connect with the pregnancy and even at 2 months old, I still feel so much closer to my first. But I feel that once the second has more of a personality, Ill have the same closeness to him too.

I am the oldest of two, but I am 10 years older than my little brother. I am a high school teacher…he’s in high school lol. We always talk now about wishing we were closer in age or had siblings to fill the gap. Our relationship has evolved from being a pseudo parent-child, to very distant ( on account of being in different parts of life), to now having a real sibling relationship at 27 & 17. I definitely plan to have my children closer in age. I’m sure in the future Ryu will be super thankful that you guys got caught up like this lol.

It is so funny to see Shan wanting more kids and Jared against it now. How the tables have turned! Congrats!

Currently pregnant with my first and the baby was unplanned. I was so nervous at first but now I am so excited to be a mom!

@aleesharenea1477

2 жыл бұрын

Awe when your due? And it is nerve-racking because you don't know what to expect when it comes to how your gonna give birth and your life will change after your baby is born but I feel it's a good change that you will eventually get used to I became a Mom at 20 and I felt my life had a purpose after that. Good luck!

This is great!!

OMMGGGG your having another baby !!!!! I’ve been going through a lot this year I’m so lateeeee But it’s me :) , I be speaking some good shit if I say so myself (my old IG got hacked) You look so beautiful

lmaooo I love the honesty y'all share! He said hard pass on the third haha

as someone who is an only child- i am SO glad i have 2 children and even tho they butt heads they love the heck outta eachother and i always tell them to talk their issues out and be honored to have a sibling. i am also raised by a single mother so when she passed 2 years ago it really made me feel SO alone and wish i had a sibling to turn too. so yeah man life is gonna be WILD with 2.. it isnt easy but i promise when you see them bonding itll be so so worth it