Learn more from Dr. Marks on her KZread channel: www.youtube.com/@DrTraceyMarks

I have autism, dyslexia, dyscalculia, ADHD, and addiction. Everything that it takes to be a rock star if you look at the best musicians, and I'm a singer/songwriter.

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

😃😅🤣You make a good point! I'm ADD myself.😁😎

@noonenooneneither3838

Жыл бұрын

@@PutTheShovelDown and they can be offended so easily haha!

I am starting my season❤🎉

I worry that I’m the one who is emotionally abandoning my addicted love one. I’m so hurt and angry and in going toward myself, and pulling back from the relationship a bit, I feel I almost have nothing to say. I need to find a balance between healing myself and being kind and caring towards him. Thank you for this video! Grateful to you both for sharing your time and talent! ❤

This is truly a dream collaboration!!! Thank you both so much for what you do 🥰

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

Thank you too!

@nikopalmer6471

Жыл бұрын

@@PutTheShovelDown I agree!! Thank you for you two!!!

She's listing the same traits as a high functioning Asperger's person might have. I have THREE of them in my life. All currently addicts to something or other. It's very difficult to want to stay in contact now, after so many years. Two are headed into dementia, one is living in a tent. None want assistance, though they routinely ask for it. Then get angry that they needed help. All of them treat people as objects.

Dr Mark's is awesome. Thanks for having her on

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

It was an honor to have Dr. Marks on!

I've working hard on keeping my boundaries with my addicted loved one, and one of those is if he's under the influence of drugs/alcohol I won't receive him at my house. A couple of days ago, he told me he did drink the night before but was sober at that time and wanted to see me, and since I didn't immediately reply he then told me he started drinking for that day again. Yesterday, he said I refused to see him, that I pushed him away and rejected him... I don't want to interact with him if he's been drinking or using because he gets mood swings that really hurt me.

I needed this video! Things are soo hard and people dont talk about this. Thank you!

Dr Marks is the greatest!

@PutTheShovelDown

8 ай бұрын

She sure is!

Really appreciated this video, I wish I could have caught it live. I follow both of you and what you talked about made so much sense. My husband recently separated from me because I was the negative dependent person and he never felt he could talk to me to address it until it reached breaking point. I’m really trying to work on myself now, meditating, therapy and reflecting a lot. I hope we can eventually work this out but if not I hope it leads to me being in a better place to move on 💔

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

I'm really impressed with your humility and willingness to work on things. Much respect to you, Jenny! 🤛🏻

@jennym-lsh

Жыл бұрын

@@PutTheShovelDown 💛💛💛

Yay! My two favorite YT mental health providers together!

Love this I needed to hear this thank you ladies for your help advice and support

Love this great collaboration. So much knowledge 😊

Ooohhh great. Looking forward to see this interview/colaboration ...🥰

Oh my god I can’t believe this video exists. When I was with my Q I had no idea what addiction implied (behavior and personality wise) and I was becoming very reactive to everything… so my Q and his therapist, "friends" and family started to say that I was needy, hypersensitive, controlling, I had anger issues (because I was starting to get mad all the time, I was exhausted), a b*tch, you name it… Because I was gaslighted, I saw Tracey’s video of toxic relationships and Immediately felt like I was being the problem, that I was the toxic one and that everyone on my Q’s side was right. Amber… your channel has given me so much peace and this video was so unexpected and I can’t believe it exists. It clears up so many things, and I feel detraumatized from watching Tracey’s list and thinking everything was my fault xD and now Im able to be more compassionate to myself and understand the whole situation as it really was. I understand now that I was just having natural reactions (poor ones) to such a chaotic situation. Thank you so much!

@PutTheShovelDown

9 ай бұрын

I'm so glad this video helped you. This is exacly why I wanted to make it. I also saw Dr. Marks video on toxic behaviors and I started thinking about how addiction can trigger these kind of behaviors for loved ones. (even if they never had these types of behaviors before). The families reaction is a symptom of the addiction.

Awesome collaboration!! ❤️

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

Thank you!! 😊

What a Treat!! Feels like Christmas!

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

😁😁😁🎄🎄🎄🎄

Excellent ♥️

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

Thanks, Shawn 😊

Thanks!

@PutTheShovelDown

17 күн бұрын

Thank you so much 😀

I can be toxic but usually only with some people and circumstances. How can I be more aware of what I am doing?

I grew up with alcoholic mother and chaos. Funny I have need to control and can be sarcastic with people in my life who are addicts. I know I had anger issues from repressed hurt. I have lived with friends and others who have no addiction and never exhibited these behaviors. So, it must be the alcohol/addiction relationships that trigger me. Thanks so.much for this! Yep, hold it in, and then it sneaks out! I do this a lot!😝

@sr2291

9 ай бұрын

What are the behaviors?

@paulalane8638

9 ай бұрын

@sr2291 well, they accuse you of doing the same things they do. You are never right. They deny everything you say. Gaslight you! Say YOU have them walking on eggshells??!!! Ignore you, invalidate you...its a toxic way to live! I now suffer from extreme nervous system dsyregulation because of lifetime in these relationships.

@sr2291

9 ай бұрын

@@paulalane8638 Me too. And now my daughter is doing this to me. I feel like I am going to be abused for the rest of my life.

@paulalane8638

9 ай бұрын

@sr2291 I'm so sorry! It's hard because it is close family or in my case spouse! Take care of yourself! ❤️🙏🤗

@sr2291

9 ай бұрын

@@paulalane8638 Thank you. I don't know how you leave a daughter. Do you?

It's mentally draining

Love Dr. Marks!!

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

Me too!

Gosh all these things describe me! I am very cynical and depressed.

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

You're not alone!

@TranscendingTrauma

Жыл бұрын

Can’t fix what we can’t see 🤗

What's interesting is hearing this counselor explaining therapeutic terms to Dr. Marks! 😆

How do a person live a normal life knowing that everyone is in their business

why are so many people committed to my life?

Amber keeps referencing “the video” Dr Marks made but no link to the video?

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

Here you go, LL: kzread.info/dash/bejne/aqKcsrlvot3XgtI.html

Also, who is this "they" she refers to with her list? Is the They anyone in a codependent relationship? That doesn't make sense, if that's the case.

I’m a terrible person - I’m 10-10

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

A terrible would never admit that!

❤allll❤ the l

20+ years in a Firehouse and you either learn to be sarcastic and have thick skin or you get eaten alive. After a long shift it is sooo difficult to not bring this home. I joke about taking off the uniform and putting it in the wash. Then showering off myself to wash away the attitude.

@lydiajoymcdowell-davis3390

10 ай бұрын

I lost my husband to toxic firehouse culture.

@michelevonherbulis6618

10 ай бұрын

@@lydiajoymcdowell-davis3390 - I am very sorry. I have yet to be in any firehouse that does not have a toxic culture.

Just send me to jail already

Not trying to be sarcastic or funny

I've working hard on keeping my boundaries with my addicted loved one, and one of those is if he's under the influence of drugs/alcohol I won't receive him at my house. A couple of days ago, he told me he did drink the night before but was sober at that time and wanted to see me, and since I didn't immediately reply he then told me he started drinking for that day again. Yesterday, he said I refused to see him, that I pushed him away and rejected him... I don't want to interact with him if he's been drinking or using because he gets mood swings that really hurt me.

I've working hard on keeping my boundaries with my addicted loved one, and one of those is if he's under the influence of drugs/alcohol I won't receive him at my house. A couple of days ago, he told me he did drink the night before but was sober at that time and wanted to see me, and since I didn't immediately reply he then told me he started drinking for that day again. Yesterday, he said I refused to see him, that I pushed him away and rejected him... I don't want to interact with him if he's been drinking or using because he gets mood swings that really hurt me.

I've working hard on keeping my boundaries with my addicted loved one, and one of those is if he's under the influence of drugs/alcohol I won't receive him at my house. A couple of days ago, he told me he did drink the night before but was sober at that time and wanted to see me, and since I didn't immediately reply he then told me he started drinking for that day again. Yesterday, he said I refused to see him, that I pushed him away and rejected him... I don't want to interact with him if he's been drinking or using because he gets mood swings that really hurt me.