Unconditional love -- journey with our transgender child | Christy Hegarty | TEDxBloomington

Through her own parenting experience, Christy Hegarty has become an advocate for families with transgender children. During her talk at TEDxBloomington, Hegarty shares what she has learned as the mother of a transgender child. She explores the concept that we should be able to accept that our children may be different than we expect them to be and that we should not be afraid to allow them to express themselves. She challenges us to consider the idea that human evolution is more about being human than it is about being a gender and the important role acceptance plays in our evolving world. An artist, Hegarty describes her art as a great 'side gig' to her most important job, being a mom. In pursuit of a degree in studio art and education, Hegarty graduated with a B.A. from Denison University, where she met her husband Boyd, a Bloomington native. Hegarty currently lives in New Hampshire with her husband, three children, a golden retriever, and 9 chickens.
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Пікірлер: 350

  • @christybtown
    @christybtown10 жыл бұрын

    Finally taking a moment to comment on my own talk. I am really proud of this moment in my life and I know I made the right decision to participate in this TEDx event. I am so thankful for all of the positive and supportive feedback. It's at the 3:30 moment of this video that I became flustered with my first trip of the tongue and started referring to our child with girl pronouns instead of male pronouns. It just goes to show how my mind has adopted the fact that our child is a girl! That's how I see her now and I'm not too upset that this is the mistake that I made during the talk! Sorry for the confusion to those of you that caught it! I'm so excited that we are about to make life a little less confusing for our child's world, as we will be going to court next week for a permanent name change. I truly hope that this talk will help many that are searching for support. It's so important to know that you are not alone, there are so many others out here in the big world that are ready to take your hand. Reach out! Do not be afraid. It does get better! There is hope!

  • @jnkelley42

    @jnkelley42

    9 жыл бұрын

    Christy Hegarty Thank you, I'm a trans adult looking at the possibility of loosing my family, my job, everything when I finally start to transition. It makes my heart glad to see a momma accepting her child for who they are.

  • @christybtown

    @christybtown

    9 жыл бұрын

    jnkelley42 , I really hope that you won't loose everything to become who you truly are. Please know that there are many people in the world that want to support you. I recognize that this is a difficult journey...but please do your best to find a support system and a way of life that allows you to get what you deserve from this life! I truly want the best for you! Thanks for reaching out to me.

  • @monica2862

    @monica2862

    9 жыл бұрын

    OMG! I am crying my heart out, I LOVE YOU! I am a transgender woman and has been 25 years sins I have seen my family. Waw thank you for been you

  • @lori4340

    @lori4340

    7 жыл бұрын

    It took a lot of courage for you to stand up there and talk. I know I couldn't have done it. I get stage fright and I would have had a panic attack severely. You know what I don't get? Why are there so many people worried about other people's lives when they have there own lives to contend with? Why do some people feel compelled to harass the transgender community? Just a suggestion but when your daughter gets a little older you should teach her how to defend herself both verbally and physically and to carry pepper spray. There are a lot of stupid people out there!

  • @linda1lee2

    @linda1lee2

    7 жыл бұрын

    Using female pronouns is using the right pronouns because she identifies as a girl.

  • @Pj-ey5fl
    @Pj-ey5fl6 жыл бұрын

    I'm an older trans woman. I have spent countless hours listening and reading stories like this. I am taken back by how they all have a common theme, people who reluctantly accept the gender of those in their life. It's not a celebration of personhood more of a wake. It's also clear to me how much more shame and embarrassment people have when males express feminine behaviour compared to the opposite. This is a clear indication to me of much deeper social beliefs and for me a clue to why passing and secrecy is so important for older trans people. Gender roles, social expectations play a major role in both trans and cisgender lives yet we continue to ignore this. Think of this, would I still be trans if the social expectations of masculinity were different? I do not question that there is something different about trans people, I also know, first hand just how much society hates femininity in males as displayed in the many talks and books about trans youth. If it was simply another way of being we wouldn't be having this discussion.

  • @Roberta_Esposito

    @Roberta_Esposito

    Жыл бұрын

    good points

  • @HiThereImVinnyVega

    @HiThereImVinnyVega

    Жыл бұрын

    Absolutely true - this is not all that positive

  • @mkeptrangli

    @mkeptrangli

    Жыл бұрын

    You’ll never be a woman. You have XY chromosomes.

  • @graphic.soup.
    @graphic.soup.8 жыл бұрын

    I'm in school watching this and feel like I'm going to cry. this is so amazing that parents will do this I can only wish that my parents could be as amazing as her

  • @LadyChemicalEngineer
    @LadyChemicalEngineer9 жыл бұрын

    Wow. I'm amazed at how progressive/accepting/understanding this mother is. Most parents would lose their minds if they had a transgender child.

  • @lori4340

    @lori4340

    7 жыл бұрын

    Well, that's part of what she was saying. There are parents out there that don't support their children even to the point of kicking them out of the house. When that happens the child becomes homeless and then you don't know what all can happen to the child. If you have a child, that child is a part of you. How can you just stop loving them all because they aren't what you envisioned them to be? Parents shouldn't be embarrassed by their child, they should be proud of them for not being afraid to be who they are. Would these same parents be embarrassed if their child was born with one arm or born with one eye?

  • @catlamp4135

    @catlamp4135

    7 жыл бұрын

    It's comments and people like you that reinforce in me, everyday that I have done the right thing allowing my child to transition. Bless you.

  • @EternalDensity

    @EternalDensity

    2 жыл бұрын

    So would mine which is why they don't know.

  • @marie-ruiz

    @marie-ruiz

    2 жыл бұрын

    Yes! I'm the mother of a trans teen. Deep down I've know since *he* was 3 and preferred LEGOs to barbies. My child came out to me at 12 and I just said "well it's about time you said it out loud... Mamas always known." We hugged *he cried* ... And I said "your mamas baby nomatter what" and I'm always going to love and support you! *His* friend in school is also trans and *his* parents were devout Catholics. They immediately kicked *him* out of their home and disowned him for cutting *his* hair. That poor child became homeless and lived in shelters. He even spoke of having to sell his body for food .. which led to drug use. Thankfully a social worker got him into a home and he started at my child's school and joined their LGBTQ group after school. My child semi adopted his friend and since then we've now taken him into our home. He is so grateful for our family and else are so grateful for *him.* Please,even if you don't agree with someone's life, be kind. It takes nothing to be a positive person in other's lives.

  • @tqoe62
    @tqoe629 жыл бұрын

    Beautifully done Momma. I have a young transgender son F2M. He is a happy, well adjusted, socially outgoing, amazing child. He is and has from the beginning, been loved, accepted and supported. By sharing our stories I hope other parents with gender variant children will come to be more open and accepting of their children. That society at large will learn to be more open and accepting of these wonderful human beings.

  • @TraderRobin

    @TraderRobin

    9 жыл бұрын

    Awww... THANK YOU, soo much, for being a LOVING, and supportive, parent! You ARE appreciated!!

  • @_Sakidora_

    @_Sakidora_

    Жыл бұрын

    You live in a dream world. Most of society is going to fight tooth and nail against this sick grooming, drugging and mutilation of children in the name of a mad ideology which has corrupted far too many institutions.

  • @choonghanchan7236
    @choonghanchan723610 жыл бұрын

    Kids in the US are so lucky, their parents can be so open-minded, supportive and accepting, which is more than I can say for people in my country. I am a transgendered youth in Singapore, and there's no such acceptance for gender variant people. It's really sad. I don't know if I will ever transition and start to feel right in my own body, for fear of my parents' reaction. I really do want so badly to live my life confidently as the young lady I am, not as the boy people see when they look at me.

  • @jasonstruck1620

    @jasonstruck1620

    10 жыл бұрын

    You know, here in America, its not so different. Sure it may be better but a lot of us here have it hard too. j came out to my parents and they are not supportive at all. My mom still doesn't understand that my sex isn't my gender. My step father doesn't want transgender in his house. He wont even allow cross dressing. So basically if I want to be me, I can't do that at my own house so I will move out soon. Do you see that its not so different here?

  • @MSorge13

    @MSorge13

    10 жыл бұрын

    Jason Struck Choong Han Chan As a transgirl myself, I really hope the both of you will be able to move forward, living and representing as the gender you both really are. I have not transitioned myself yet, but we are all in this together. I wish you both happiness and pleasure in your journey. :)

  • @annemarietobias

    @annemarietobias

    9 жыл бұрын

    Don't let anyone fool you. It doesn't matter where you live. Though its easier than it used to be, its still a rough journey, rigorous, challenging, demanding that you break yourself up, and reinvent yourself from the pieces. Its also the most fulfilling, rewarding, empowering enterprise you'll ever take on. Find community, even if its only on the internet. Share, learn, grow. There are so many ways to make small changes and one day, you wake up and find yourself there on what was a distant shore in a land you don't recognize, but always dreamed would be your home. The home that is yourself. Use us, that have gone before. Most of us owe debts of gratitude to those who preceded us and we pass that down to you. God bless you and hold you tight in her loving hands.

  • @nancyjeanneprohaskathompson

    @nancyjeanneprohaskathompson

    9 жыл бұрын

    move.

  • @isabellapreble8333

    @isabellapreble8333

    9 жыл бұрын

    Our society is not moving past a our binary society, it warms my heart to see talk like thins this that support andare vocaling those that do not have a voice but it is just not enough. Finding resources, being apart of the movement and educating everyone you can. Some people may not understand you but there are so many methods that we may be able to begin to soften or reverse compulsory gender roles.

  • @ediann
    @ediann9 жыл бұрын

    I applaud this mother for her love and acceptance of her transgender daughter.

  • @iamwhoiam4410
    @iamwhoiam44109 жыл бұрын

    God Bless our transgender children. They're special and so are the parents,families and friends that support them and accept them for "who thy really are". Thanks for sharing your story, you're awesome too.

  • @prettypumpkin6891

    @prettypumpkin6891

    4 жыл бұрын

    All children are special.

  • @soldierboy8796

    @soldierboy8796

    2 жыл бұрын

    They are not special

  • @alexandraleigh5191

    @alexandraleigh5191

    2 жыл бұрын

    you are loved and can be whoever you want to be 💕

  • @mercedezvoncloete

    @mercedezvoncloete

    Жыл бұрын

    ​@@soldierboy8796 I'm sure you'll know because you made them.

  • @janicekoenig2537
    @janicekoenig25378 жыл бұрын

    having children gives you your greatest chance in this life of expressing unconditional love...good job, mama

  • @TraderRobin
    @TraderRobin9 жыл бұрын

    EXCELLENT job, Christy!! I am just disappointed that only about 9000 people have viewed this inspiring video. This SHOULD be viewed by 7 BILLION+ people, and translated into several hundred languages!! It's too bad that unconditional love hasn't yet become THE all-encompassing universal language of the planet earth!

  • @SusannaSaunders

    @SusannaSaunders

    5 жыл бұрын

    rslouis66 well said! Sadly, the world is a very long way from that at the moment.

  • @reapthewhirlwind4166

    @reapthewhirlwind4166

    4 ай бұрын

    9 years later and they're exploited child Leah is nowhere to be found

  • @sherylbeasley4938
    @sherylbeasley49389 жыл бұрын

    Very Inspirational, Thank you. I am a Trans.Female also,the words" There are doctors that can help you"my therapist told me one time. Those words hit me so hard after my session was over that I didn't remember how I got to the parking garage were my car was parked, I sat in my car and cried knowing that they're are doctors out there that can help people like us get thru this. My next session with my therapist I told her I want to start seeing a doctor for transitioning from male to female, That saved my life. I am forever thankful to my therapist and doctor for their help with my transition.

  • @hunterfeavearyear3887
    @hunterfeavearyear38877 жыл бұрын

    This was so beautiful. I am so moved by it. As a transgender teen myself, this fills me with joy

  • @chriswells89

    @chriswells89

    4 жыл бұрын

    That's good :-)

  • @James-hr3yh

    @James-hr3yh

    4 жыл бұрын

    Ditto my guy, ditto.

  • @taylorzande3498
    @taylorzande34987 жыл бұрын

    This warms my heart and I hope more people can be open minded.

  • @bobapbob5812

    @bobapbob5812

    2 жыл бұрын

    Being closed mind has become the new norm.

  • @leonardohernandez5595
    @leonardohernandez55959 жыл бұрын

    Its not about getting it. Its about accepting it. We don't completely understand life. Are we gonna kill ourselfs just because of that? No! Accepting is what is all about

  • @TigerPrawn_

    @TigerPrawn_

    9 жыл бұрын

    Leonardo Hernandez I agree, tolerating is the minimum, but we must strive for acceptance and respect too. peace x

  • @SanDiegoCoR
    @SanDiegoCoR9 жыл бұрын

    THIS is a great mother.

  • @annak3134
    @annak31349 жыл бұрын

    You are a wonderful mother! Your daughter must have been very happy. Sadly not every transgender child is so lucky. You are amazing!!!

  • @lori4340

    @lori4340

    7 жыл бұрын

    You are right. Not every child has a supportive parent but there needs to be. These children really need their parents. They don't need for there parents to turn them away. I don't know how you can do that to your own child,

  • @darahoffmanfox
    @darahoffmanfox10 жыл бұрын

    You are so right about the need for this information and your experience to be shared! I'll be sure to pass this on.

  • @dianer2154
    @dianer21549 жыл бұрын

    Wow wish I had a mom like that 60 years ago, how different life would have been.

  • @lilithcrow6675

    @lilithcrow6675

    3 жыл бұрын

    Whoever you are, I just wanted to let you know that you are wonderful and exactly who you are ment to be.

  • @glenelg008

    @glenelg008

    3 жыл бұрын

    Have been living with this for the last 50 years of my life and have only just started my journey to become who I always was meant to be.

  • @kriskabin

    @kriskabin

    3 жыл бұрын

    Dido that. No one my family really saw or supported me. 50 yrs later, I'm still struggling with ALL the after- effects of gender mislabeling & biases. Parental rejection & misconceptions.....

  • @mercedezvoncloete

    @mercedezvoncloete

    Жыл бұрын

    ​@@kriskabin sorry that this has been your experience.

  • @Lumophobia
    @Lumophobia7 жыл бұрын

    this made cry so hard holy god almighty why isn't this woman my mother

  • @lori4340

    @lori4340

    7 жыл бұрын

    Because some people don't want to understand hun. With parents they have a preconceived notion of how they imagine how their children will turn out. When that notion doesn't fit their idea it upsets them. They don't realize that you have your own life to live. It's something like the parents that plan for their child to go to college. When the child gets older he or she may want to go to a vocational school instead. The parents get all upset and say things like, "We planned for years on you going to college and you are going!" That's kind of selfish because they aren't thinking of what the child may want. Anytime you need to talk hun just message me.

  • @daveschwartz3302
    @daveschwartz33029 жыл бұрын

    I a man that loves a TG lady. She chose to be a girl at age 3. She is so lovely ad is trying to make me happy. I think the world should leave TG children/men/women alone,

  • @paulrichards8771

    @paulrichards8771

    9 жыл бұрын

    Dave Schwartz ha, gaaaaaaaaaay

  • @jfangx

    @jfangx

    8 жыл бұрын

    +Paul Richards Liking a trans person does not make this person gay. You have no idea how they identify. Why do you have to be so ignorant?

  • @janking4562

    @janking4562

    8 жыл бұрын

    +Paul Richards Why would a gay man be attracted to a man who looks like a woman? Aren't gay men generally attracted to men with a MALE appearance?

  • @paulrichards8771

    @paulrichards8771

    8 жыл бұрын

    I wrote that comment when I was high, sorry for being an arsehole. I hope you guys have a happy relationship. I actuallly feel quite bad for writting that.

  • @kristinb8268

    @kristinb8268

    8 жыл бұрын

    Actually, Jan you are quite right. There are very few gay guys that will date trans women because and they do mean this as a compliment they say things like well if I wanted to date a woman I would be dating women. I was with a guy who knew that more than likely I was going to transition, and the moment I started was when he was like yeah sorry I'm just not into women. I'm not saying there aren't gay men out there who date trans women, but that is a very small number. I always tell people to think about it basically like you did, but like if it's a heterosexual guy I will say I mean well I at least hope that the females you are attracted to that you are attracted to them more than just for what's between their legs. And gay men are no different they are attracted to more than oh that guy has a penis like me, while yes that is part of it. I really do feel that it's a small part of it. But it's so annoying when people are like trans women should date gay guys, or when you have that well meaning friend who doesn't know a whole lot and they say things like oh I know this gay guy that would be perfect for you, and I always laugh a little to myself. Interestingly the few men I've dated since transitioning and after being on HRT for a bit they all described themselves as straight men, and I mean to me that's what it felt like because they did not treat me like their guy friends. They always treated me with respect and like they would any other woman they had dated in the past, and wow it does make a difference because for me it was the first time that I had ever felt the magic of feeling in love, and of being desired and appreciated. What I mean is that it does actually make a difference to how a relationship feels to you if you are being loved for the person that you actually are and not the person that someone else thinks you are, if that makes any sense. Anyway just wanted to say yes you are most certainly right about your open question

  • @EllieMentle
    @EllieMentle9 жыл бұрын

    Thanks Christy. I celebrate stories like this one! Having been born in the early 1950s, I did not have the same opportunity to live authentically. Good for you for recognizing your daughter and for being a terrific mother

  • @TraderRobin

    @TraderRobin

    9 жыл бұрын

    Ellie, I don't think it's too late to start living your life as your true self, ya know. Times (and attitudes) are changing! Stay awesome!

  • @EllieMentle

    @EllieMentle

    9 жыл бұрын

    ***** thanks :) I'm working on it, it is a bit daunting at times, but... I get by with a little help from my friends :D

  • @lori4340

    @lori4340

    7 жыл бұрын

    Yes but I don't understand why things like this hasn't changed sooner. In 1952 Christine Jorgenson was all the headlines yet still no one came out like they are doing today. I don't understand that one.

  • @EllieMentle

    @EllieMentle

    7 жыл бұрын

    It could be the hate and misunderstanding fomented by religious zealots, I guess...

  • @Mary9beth
    @Mary9beth9 жыл бұрын

    I am so so proud of you!! I admire your courage to stand up for your perfect child!! God does not make mistakes. I know because 2 of my 9 children are Gay and i have never consider that a flaw or an imperfection. I appreciate you educating those people who would think otherwise. I received my first comment the other day through a Man at my church you called me and offered me the help i need for my 15 year old daughter who had come out this past week. This was the beginning of her journey and it will not always be easy. But we are celebrating her courage and embrace her because shes Gay. but the man like many does not understand that we don't need his help we need his acceptance plain and simple. This is not a tragic thing and its time people understood this.

  • @lori4340

    @lori4340

    7 жыл бұрын

    YES! I so agree!!

  • @skylargreen7156
    @skylargreen71565 жыл бұрын

    Hello I wanted to tell you how much your speech touched me. Your love for your children is unconditional. I want parents to hear your message and to behave in the same way as you and your husband. Thank you for sharing

  • @cmhk9
    @cmhk97 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for your wonderful talk. In the 1950's there were no parents like you.

  • @rozhingh9345
    @rozhingh93459 жыл бұрын

    U are such a great mother. I might not really understand how hard it was for you but I'm sure you are a very strong women. thank you for your great talk.

  • @matthewcourtland101
    @matthewcourtland1019 жыл бұрын

    Great job, Christy. The messages of support, open-mindedness, and love that come through your story are strong and inspirational. Being there for your child when they choose to not follow the social norms is impressive and taking the time and effort to share your experiences with the world is extraordinary.

  • @giraffypeace5894
    @giraffypeace58947 жыл бұрын

    unconditional love is what I have givendors you my best friend.you have endured so much through out life, trying to live a false life.you are not only free as a person but christ has set you free indeed and assured you of life eternal. what a joy!!!. Thank you for the many lessons of life that you have given me on all this.I highly respected you and know that you have full support from me.

  • @MorgaineRiddlePrince
    @MorgaineRiddlePrince5 жыл бұрын

    24. July 2019. Listening while at work in Denmark. Female. Not trans, just want to know as much as possible.

  • @r-platt

    @r-platt

    5 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for being open-minded. We need more people like you in the world.

  • @nightcoresubliminals2038
    @nightcoresubliminals20385 жыл бұрын

    Parents like this are more common than you think! My parents are amazingly supportive of my not-straightness (still figuring it out, I just know I like girls) and it's fantastic.

  • @mercedezvoncloete

    @mercedezvoncloete

    Жыл бұрын

    All the best along the journey.

  • @NeedingMusic
    @NeedingMusic10 жыл бұрын

    A great video. I hope more and more people watch and really listen. What wonderful parents!

  • @niki12368
    @niki123688 жыл бұрын

    What an amazing mother. She is so open minded!

  • @user-do3fn5uh9d
    @user-do3fn5uh9d8 жыл бұрын

    You are probably one of the best moms i've ever seen, thanks for sharing your amazing story with us and you are exactly the kind of mother i wanna become when i give a birth to my own child one day in the future, a mom who can say to her kid that she'll always love and support him/her no matter what his/her sexual orientation is.

  • @rayzina
    @rayzina7 жыл бұрын

    That is an amazing story. Thank you for sharing. Love your child no matter what.

  • @carmensanchez3179
    @carmensanchez31795 жыл бұрын

    My case is so different, I'm learning a little bit every day. You are right! As moms unconditional love is the more important gift with can give to our kids. The journey is not easy but they have us to keep fighting for equality and acceptance.

  • @mercedezvoncloete

    @mercedezvoncloete

    Жыл бұрын

    Thank you.

  • @dinacamposlopes
    @dinacamposlopes5 жыл бұрын

    I didn’t have a mum like you but she did what she could. It doesn’t go away and you giving your child a chance to be ok.

  • @raven2788
    @raven27887 жыл бұрын

    What I would say to the mom, Thank you for being an amazing mother/Parent!! I'm comforted to know there are wonderful people like yourself and your husband who can see us for who we are. So many of us did not have such luxuries. What a wonderful world it can be when others value us as we are. Raven.

  • @kristinb8268
    @kristinb82688 жыл бұрын

    Great talk, and I really appreciated her story a lot. I was born in 1982 and I had no idea there were other people like me, or that there was even anything that could be done until we could afford to get AOL and PC, which was still pretty expensive even when I was 15. Anyway my point is it makes such a difference to any child to know that their parents will love them unconditionally, and the only thing I would add is that as parents be careful about what you say around your children. My Mom used to voice her anti-gay opinions all the time from the time I was very young, and that yes that most definitely didn't just a play a huge part in me never wanting to tell anyone, but I just lived in terror all the time because of how much I wanted to tell someone as a kid, but just felt that it would end very very badly. So parents just please be careful about what you say around your children, and what stereotypes you mention around your kids because you never know your child may be the one who like me suffered alone in silence from the age of 6, which was the age that I knew without any doubt I was really a girl and not a boy until I finally found an inner strength that was able to overcome my fear and terror and I told my Mom finally when I was 24. It took her some time, but my Mom could never see me as anything, but her daughter and what's crazy is that I'm so grateful that I didn't lose any friends or family, and while they may not all understand I was still fortunate enough to be surrounded by people who meant it when they said they loved me unconditionally. Thank you Christy for sharing your experience because it's important that more people learn and hear that trans kids are like other kids and that they shouldn't be automatically segregated to 1 bathroom and a locker room that's not a locker room, and they may not even be able to play on the sports teams that match who they are either. Please civil rights for trans people and the entire LGBT community are TOO important to be left up to the states because in all honesty we see how well that has been going. And it should not be left up to the school or the school district for how to deal with trans students that involve violating their Title IX rights which have been sued under and won by just about every trans student and their parents that has had to schools because they said NO our child isn't a freak they do not deserve to be segregated unless that is where they feel most comfortable, which I can understand at the start, but when the child is ready to make the shift don't tell them NO and that they have to stay segregated. I will take time, but people sharing their stories with others will have a humanizing affect, and what a surprise Trans people are human too. Who would have thought.

  • @hippiedachshunds1632

    @hippiedachshunds1632

    8 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for sharing your story. You are a brave woman and I am proud of you and for you. Live your life being true to yourself and stay strong!

  • @kristinb8268

    @kristinb8268

    8 жыл бұрын

    Hippie Dachshunds Thank I really appreciate that and that it does make a difference to get supportive comments as opposed to all that one's that end up with me having to debate my existence, lol. Yup, definitely much prefer the supportive comments and they feel so much better I think for everyone

  • @hippiedachshunds1632

    @hippiedachshunds1632

    8 жыл бұрын

    Kristin B There is so much ignorance out there in the world and so much hate coming out of it. People often fear what they don't understand or aren't familiar with. Education is key. Best wishes to you!

  • @kristinb8268

    @kristinb8268

    8 жыл бұрын

    Hippie Dachshunds I agree, Education and awareness + exposure to trans people either in person or on youtube or reading a blog to understand that we are just as human as everyone else. And it's not easy trying to make sense out of the world as a little kid when your brain and mind are telling you one thing, but society, your body, and your parents are telling you another. I can't say it enough, but I wish I'd had access to the information that I later did when the internet and home PC's became affordable. Also having trans people to look up to who not only made the transition, but are living happy healthy lives, and many of them are living incredible lives. I think it's so important for trans youth and people who are having a hard time accepting they are trans to be able to see that yes the world is a scary place for trans people right now, but that those things can be overcome, and we are able to look to these people and their stories for our own inspiration to get over the barriers in our lives that are holding us back from being everything we can be, and for some of us that means almost being literally like a butterfly where the caterpillar stage is pre-transition, the cocoon is transition, and then finally one day a beautiful butterfly erupts out of the cocoon and takes to the skies and the freedom of living a life that is true to them.

  • @hippiedachshunds1632

    @hippiedachshunds1632

    8 жыл бұрын

    Kristin B​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ You are a very good writer. Do you blog? If not, maybe you should consider it. Talk about educating people! I can't begin to understand what it must be like to have that disconnect between your body and your brain, but I have witnessed children trying to make sense of it. Once upon a time, back in the 80s and early 90s, I was a 4th grade teacher. I only taught for 10 years, but in that time I am positive I had at least two and maybe as many as five transgender children in my classroom. The first was a girl (I'm speaking body, not brain) who was one of the most tortured souls I've ever known. At ten she'd been abandoned and was already a cutter. She'd pulled clumps of hair out by the roots so many times she had permanent bald spots. Her foster mother sent her to school in these dowdy, homemade dresses that caused her endless - and obvious - distress. I tried so hard to love her, but in my youthful ignorance, I made so many mistakes. Once, when some of the girls had been teasing her about being a tomboy, I thought I was coming to her aid when I told them I had been a tomboy as a kid. That tortured little soul gave me such a sorrowful, "You think you understand, but you don't" look that it haunts me to this day. I wish I'd known then what I know now. I tried to love her and show her acceptance all I could, but it wasn't enough. Not even close. The second child was a biological boy. At the time, I thought he was probably gay. "Transgender" was still years from even being a word many people had heard. He was a delightful, confident child who I realize now was completely aware of his gender identity even at age 10. He had a name that is commonly used for both males and females. Preppy clothes were popular then - a style which can be fairly androgynous - so he didn’t have quite the wardrobe challenges other generations of kids would have. The kids all seemed to accept him for himself (I would say "her", but remember when this was) He totally hung out with the girls and fit right in. He did have a lot of social problems later on, but elementary school was a safe, positive experience for the most part. When I think about these two children (bear in mind I've only given you the briefest of descriptions) I know that the love and acceptance one had from home and the other did not, made all the difference in their lives. The biological girl died of a heroin overdose around age 20. I didn't learn about her death until several years afterwards. It's still hard to talk about. The biological boy began openly living as a female just a few years ago. She is just lovely and still has the love and support of her family and friends. We are Facebook friends now. How honored I felt when she got in touch with me after so many years had gone by! 

  • @macddm
    @macddm10 жыл бұрын

    That was amazing Christy! So proud of you and your amazing family!

  • @quincystewart7766
    @quincystewart776610 жыл бұрын

    Perfect delivery for a complex topic!

  • @marcelaprado5831
    @marcelaprado58315 жыл бұрын

    love is the answer, always

  • @mariaegonzalez4232
    @mariaegonzalez42323 жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much for sharing what unconditional LOVE is for our children in their journey to be who they really are... not for what we think they should be.

  • @vancetoepke5022
    @vancetoepke50226 жыл бұрын

    Wish my family was like this. Or even would give me a chance

  • @Athalkurupavaloketh
    @Athalkurupavaloketh9 жыл бұрын

    One of the most inspirational TED talks.

  • @jaysonhayes7732
    @jaysonhayes77325 жыл бұрын

    I love that without even realizing it she said she rather than he at first when referencing her child in the past, about the skirt she wore. She fixed it later, most likely to sway confusion of the crowd, but you can really see how natural it comes to her which is simply amazing

  • @davefisher1840
    @davefisher18402 жыл бұрын

    That was wonderful. Your daughter is so fortunate to have parents like you. May God bless your daughter and you!

  • @slivertoe
    @slivertoe4 жыл бұрын

    This is a wonderful talk, so full of love and hope. I've decided to make a list of resources to direct people to if they're looking for guidance or more understanding on this issue, and this video is going on the list. Thank you!

  • @Thayer2000
    @Thayer200010 жыл бұрын

    Wonderful! Blessings to you all !

  • @macddm
    @macddm7 жыл бұрын

    You did such a great job. Love to you and your family!

  • @Roberta_Esposito
    @Roberta_Esposito Жыл бұрын

    BMC Boston University Medical Center transformed my life. Staff of Angels there

  • @benth162
    @benth1628 жыл бұрын

    This I found on google search about cisgender: "If you are born intersex, this doesn’t actually apply to you because there are no gender norms attributed to your biological sex as society doesn’t even acknowledge that it exists. Indeed, as “cis” means “on this side of”, and “trans” means, “on the other side of”, those of us who are not on either side of this binary framework of sex are inherently excluded from cisgender rhetoric. And note, we didn’t used to be, back when people simply said “trans*” or “non-trans*”. While it is useful to distinguish between gender-normative and gender-variant people, the term cisgender only successfully does so if you pretend that intersex people and other gender variant folks don’t exist. For example, where do butch lesbians who proudly identify as female fit into the equation? Technically they’re cisgender, not trans*, because they identify as their biological sex, but they don’t experience cisgender privilege. I can think of a lot of males in the same boat. They’re not trans*but they’re not really cisgender either, according to “cisgender privilege” rhetoric. They fall into a grey zone that the term’s proponents did not take into account, which I call the gender binary blind spot. Now on to reality: Gender identity has much to do with our multi-dimensional nature and how humanity lives in multiple realities simultaneously, as does anything else we chose to engage in. If a Child is born Male, but has very strong Female counter-parts in those other realities, the child may identify with that female character instead of what he has between his legs. In other words my friends, our realities are beginning to be open to each other as humans move to their next level of enlightenment, such that the fourth dimension is bleeding through to our third dimension. What is happening now is just a forerunner of many more complications that we'll need to fully grasp. This really is a teachable moment in our human development.

  • @elizabethluna1186

    @elizabethluna1186

    7 жыл бұрын

    bruh

  • @recreationmanagementandpol3461
    @recreationmanagementandpol346110 жыл бұрын

    Brilliant and educational!

  • @user-ut7wi1if9q
    @user-ut7wi1if9q5 жыл бұрын

    Wish just one of my parents or som1 i know was a supportive but im happy tho that there r some ppl in the world like this amazing mother

  • @alexp3752
    @alexp37524 жыл бұрын

    That's not a choice! That's instinct, that's biology!

  • @acelynchandfriends1814
    @acelynchandfriends18145 жыл бұрын

    I just want everyone to know that everyone should be accepted and cared for and in time of need know that things will get better. When you think none cares think of this comment from a random person and remember I care about everyone everything and anything in between.

  • @r-platt

    @r-platt

    5 жыл бұрын

    Words of wisdom. *Thank you.* Now if we can only get "Christians" to think the same way. Hearts are turning, but it's slow.

  • @emiliolopez1747
    @emiliolopez17477 жыл бұрын

    This is so amazing

  • @daisy6013
    @daisy60138 ай бұрын

    This is just like my kiddo... Almost to a tee, even the sequin blue skirt.. And the conversation about still being a boy ❤

  • @infamoustinaj
    @infamoustinaj3 жыл бұрын

    Bravo to this mom! This melts my heart!

  • @MatiShemoeloff
    @MatiShemoeloff2 жыл бұрын

    Bless you! Thank you for sharing this! I totally get it!

  • @tiffanyw3064
    @tiffanyw30644 жыл бұрын

    I've watched your video through my transition, it's been about three years. It gives me hope, all my family won't accept me. Thank you for loving your child, you give me hope.

  • @alicetroise5785
    @alicetroise57857 жыл бұрын

    Thanks!

  • @MrChrisbtacos
    @MrChrisbtacos10 жыл бұрын

    Amazing.

  • @mymagnificentself7480
    @mymagnificentself748010 жыл бұрын

    this is so... beautiful :')

  • @robertbrunner9619

    @robertbrunner9619

    9 жыл бұрын

    my god...... it's sick.

  • @TraderRobin

    @TraderRobin

    9 жыл бұрын

    Robert Brunner Wow, Robert, you know what? It always makes me so HAPPY whenever I see morons like you making negative comments about transgender people. You wanna know why? It's because, transgender people are now coming out of the closet by the THOUSANDS! And soon, you won't even be able to lose your lunch on an hourly basis, without hitting a trans-person!! Oh yeah, you wanna know what else I find truly exciting about all this? It's the simple fact that it's ALREADY COMING, and brain dead dimwits like you CAN'T DO A THING TO STOP IT!!! Have a nice day. :-)

  • @lori4340

    @lori4340

    7 жыл бұрын

    Uh huh. Why do you care so much? Don't you have enough worrying about your own life? You need to stop worrying about how other people are living their lives and worry about your own. If your life is that dull, maybe you should do something about it.

  • @rlee3538

    @rlee3538

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@robertbrunner9619 nope

  • @chriswells89

    @chriswells89

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@robertbrunner9619 people like you make me sick bye

  • @marvinberry295
    @marvinberry2954 жыл бұрын

    Raise your children, don't let your children raise you.

  • @karenbrowne4330

    @karenbrowne4330

    2 жыл бұрын

    EXACTLY!!!! What is wrong with these people !!!!

  • @Jolasers
    @Jolasers4 жыл бұрын

    Mahalo for sharing your beautiful message. God loves all regardless. It's us humans who have a lot to learn. God bless your daughter.

  • @jdl2180
    @jdl21805 жыл бұрын

    It's so sad that she will not be able to have children of her own because you would make a wonderful grandma!

  • @r-platt

    @r-platt

    5 жыл бұрын

    It's entirely possible she will be able to become pregnant and deliver a baby. Uterine transplants are already a reality for women. It's just a matter of time before a tans woman manages the same.

  • @pillbobaggins2766

    @pillbobaggins2766

    4 жыл бұрын

    There’s more than one way to have children if that’s what you want such as adoption, surrogacy or foster care

  • @terrymott2816
    @terrymott28163 жыл бұрын

    THANK YOU, from a fellow Mama Bear.. ❤️

  • @emmaransford
    @emmaransford Жыл бұрын

    I love ❤ your story ♥ thanks for sharing 👍 it with us xx

  • @kittykake44
    @kittykake446 жыл бұрын

    ❤❤❤❤❤

  • @trialvarez7923
    @trialvarez79235 жыл бұрын

    You Go mom!!! Great women! Thank you for your open mind

  • @corwesley1
    @corwesley13 жыл бұрын

    As a trans woman this made me cry and smile because they allowed there child to be who she is and NOT who they want her to be !!! So beautiful I wish her all the success as she grows 💚💚💚

  • @briancurry6008
    @briancurry60083 жыл бұрын

    thank you!

  • @davidjaynes9475
    @davidjaynes94753 жыл бұрын

    all i ever really wanted was to be loved for who i am

  • @andelaroztocilova8367
    @andelaroztocilova83672 жыл бұрын

    one thing I don't understand. why do you think the clothes is something that indicates gender?

  • @MurrayTheMac

    @MurrayTheMac

    Жыл бұрын

    Because society does? Gender expression is established by social norms, and clothing is something that society heavily codifies with gender.

  • @radubradu

    @radubradu

    Жыл бұрын

    @@MurrayTheMac So gender comes from society, not from within?

  • @TheFirefishe

    @TheFirefishe

    5 ай бұрын

    @@MurrayTheMac- Then it’s high time we blew that b/s out of the water, don’t you think?

  • @COLINJELY
    @COLINJELY7 жыл бұрын

    Why do more parents seem to support Gay?Lesbian children rather than Transgender children who often are shunned??!!

  • @valkyrieace5768
    @valkyrieace57683 жыл бұрын

    🥺❤ -love it

  • @jinxheath2868
    @jinxheath28683 жыл бұрын

    God will surely bless this AMAZING MOTHER... this is all a task and a missions assignment of life .. and she has past and completed her assignments.... And as for the rest of the Parents who have shunned their kids outta their lives because, “their Parents didn’t thought them how to raised a child like like hers” Y’all will have to answer to the Man Above in the after life...

  • @anitaklara7428
    @anitaklara7428Ай бұрын

    Parents who truly loved their child will tell them the TRUTH , yes in a loving way but TRUTH not a lie that a boy can be a girl and vice versa.

  • @donnieporter3596
    @donnieporter35964 жыл бұрын

    Wow that so amazing she the coolest mom every god bless her heart

  • @tarquinmidwinter2056
    @tarquinmidwinter2056 Жыл бұрын

    This video has now been up for 8 years. Interesting to see that the earliest comments were almost unanimous in their support for this mother, but the more recent ones are mostly negative or at least skeptical. It seems that more and more people are saying: The Emperor has no clothes.

  • @chowwk2981
    @chowwk2981Күн бұрын

    How is she now?

  • @Hello-jw1pu
    @Hello-jw1pu2 жыл бұрын

    It is conditional. That kid that made a choice Made a material change.

  • @maxalberts2003
    @maxalberts20032 жыл бұрын

    Gender is "chaos"??? You've answered your own question.

  • @TheMindOfRosie
    @TheMindOfRosie8 жыл бұрын

    What is that summer camp that her daughter went to?

  • @christybtown

    @christybtown

    8 жыл бұрын

    Camp Aranutiq

  • @hunterfeavearyear3887

    @hunterfeavearyear3887

    7 жыл бұрын

    Camp Arinitiq, it's one of the most amazing places on earth, I've been working there for years.

  • @hunterfeavearyear3887

    @hunterfeavearyear3887

    7 жыл бұрын

    If you have any interest in going to the camp.. Id be happy to give you info. My email is Cleverodyssey@gmail.com

  • @beniminxz9725
    @beniminxz97255 жыл бұрын

    she/her

  • @thoughtfulcreature8479
    @thoughtfulcreature84792 жыл бұрын

    So how is the child going now??????

  • @RandomWandrer

    @RandomWandrer

    Жыл бұрын

    Also wondering about this.

  • @thoughtfulcreature8479

    @thoughtfulcreature8479

    Жыл бұрын

    @@RandomWandrerIt's a valid question considering the increasing rate of detransition these days and the age of the child . It's also just human curiosity like "Where are they now ?"

  • @MurrayTheMac

    @MurrayTheMac

    Жыл бұрын

    @@thoughtfulcreature8479 There is no increasing rate of detransition.

  • @Lauren-ow3yt
    @Lauren-ow3yt6 жыл бұрын

    I am confused...am I a boy or a girl? Mom says I’m a girl...I was born a girl..I’m a boy though...

  • @rishitomar67

    @rishitomar67

    Жыл бұрын

    Hey I know it's been 4 years and nobody replied but I was just curious to know how you are doing

  • @gimygaming8655
    @gimygaming86555 жыл бұрын

    There are also studies that kids younger than 7 or 8 they don't know the difference between genders. But as long as the child is happy I guess. Hope everything goes okay

  • @abbbilou
    @abbbilou2 жыл бұрын

    I will pray for him and for you and your family.

  • @jenmaiofficial5916
    @jenmaiofficial59164 жыл бұрын

    its a very inspiring video

  • @viviannichols3582
    @viviannichols35824 жыл бұрын

    I wanted to wear my brother’s clothes all the time. I never looked at the girls’ toy aisle. I made my mom cut my hair short. I tried peeing standing up several times. I’m still a woman.

  • @jenny_nyx7808

    @jenny_nyx7808

    2 жыл бұрын

    Did you experience gender dysphoria ? Did you think of yourself as a boy and got depressed and suicidal when you realized you are in a girls body..? I think you dont get it.

  • @viviannichols3582

    @viviannichols3582

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@jenny_nyx7808 Suicidal thoughts are not required to diagnose a kid with gender dysphoria and set them on the path toward chemical castration.

  • @jenny_nyx7808

    @jenny_nyx7808

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@viviannichols3582 there have been centuries of data that trans people exist and its been scientifically proven still don't know why people don't wanna belive it.

  • @uniquesexy8908
    @uniquesexy89084 жыл бұрын

    wow very amazing woman!

  • @setapart3452
    @setapart34525 жыл бұрын

    Phobic means extreme fear and there is nothing about them that I need to be afraid of. When something is wrong then it cant be right, so speaking the truth does not make one phobic (fearful). The difference is that I recognise that this is a mental and a serious issue that requires urgent attention. The help needed, is not to encourage them but support them with counsel and by discouraging them from putting themselves through such a process, that they will eventually regret. This strong feeling that they are struggling with, is very deceptive and never tells them the consequences of their decisions. We cant keep on compromising and playing with people's lives by lying to them and telling them that it is ok. God has given us all only one life, which we will one day have to give an account. If I am 50 and I am struggling with the feeling of being a baby boy, and feel that I should never be 50, should I put myself through that painful process of becoming a baby ? Absolutely not. Do we give into every feeling that we struggle with ? When does it become wrong ? Where is our morals that distinguishes that which is right from wrong ?

  • @xelthiavice4276
    @xelthiavice42762 ай бұрын

    that poor poor guy....

  • @kealeer840
    @kealeer8404 жыл бұрын

    car ton le ri coo

  • @cocobeebunnied7371
    @cocobeebunnied73712 жыл бұрын

    Im nonbinary and all i want is for my mom to stop pretending I never came out :(

  • @PaulPerryArgentina
    @PaulPerryArgentina Жыл бұрын

    accepting the insanity of all this is insane. but that's all we got as loving parents.

  • @rachelk5272
    @rachelk52723 жыл бұрын

    There is going to be a backlash in another 10-20 years as the people who grew up under this movement realize the harm done to them by their parents

  • @adammiller6299

    @adammiller6299

    3 жыл бұрын

    Some of them are already all grown up, and thank their lucky stars they had the supportive parents they did.

  • @ccmetalhead

    @ccmetalhead

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@adammiller6299 yeah they thank them by offing themselves. Nice job you freak show.

  • @deborahrolski7737

    @deborahrolski7737

    2 жыл бұрын

    Why are you even watching this?

  • @rachelk5272

    @rachelk5272

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@deborahrolski7737 why are you even commenting on my comment

  • @spaceartiste2496

    @spaceartiste2496

    Жыл бұрын

    The only harm done is by the children and adults who degrade, ridicule, and bully them for not fitting the traditional view of their birth gender. Allowing a child to explore their identity is never harmful. Pushing them can be harmful, but if the child is in control of the exploration, it is not harmful. If a young boy thinks he is a girl, wears dresses and uses she/her pronouns, but later figures out that he feels better as a boy, no harm is done, and now he's just more certain that he is a boy. If on the other hand the child continues to feel better living as a girl, having supportive parents who let her express that spares her a lot of anxiety, depression, dysphoria, and regret.

  • @clauderoy7580
    @clauderoy75804 жыл бұрын

    Just one word. INSANE

  • @deborahrolski7737

    @deborahrolski7737

    2 жыл бұрын

    Who are you to judge?

  • @crazycarly3504
    @crazycarly35043 жыл бұрын

    STOP USING MALE PRONOUNS ON HER!

  • @beccac629
    @beccac6293 жыл бұрын

    I am transitioning. I am made in the image of God. Jesus is my Savior. My church supports me.

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