Your words are so honest and genuinely true. Every day is hard, exhausting and I wanted and still want to give up all the time. Keep fighting. I like your content a lot and seem to be such a nice person.

@FronteirWolf

11 ай бұрын

I gets less exhausting with time.

@augustinebernadine4398

11 ай бұрын

JESUS LOVES YOU HE WILL HELP YOU KEEP YOUR EYES ON YOUR PLAN TO WIn

I think the voice never goes away for perfectionists, it can get pushed to the back of one's mind for a while, but can come back.

@r-ina

11 ай бұрын

Exactly. I'm 3 years recovered, and my relationship with my body and food is amazing now. However, that toxic voice in my head is still there. I feel as if it will never go away, unfortunately.

Also in the opposite direction (if you are more on the bingeing side of bulimia, or have BED) it's not about not eating the food either. It's about making the choice to act against one owns impulses and making decisions. Everyday :(

@Taureanfitness

5 ай бұрын

Spot on!

this is so important for people to understand - it doesn’t just go away. i’m 6 months clean from purging and have been in recovery for 10 months. and still, when my stomach feels full, i automatically think i should throw up. but i know that i can’t, and that my life IS better now.

@susanc7945

11 ай бұрын

Bless yor hard work!!!❤🙏

Like an alcoholic you need to recognize what you are battling and never forget that relapse is always there. Be strong you will defeat it

The amount of times I *sobbed* while trying to finish a sandwich. I can promise you it gets better though. Keep pushing!!

Thank you! ❤ I have been in recovery for over 10 years now and I still have a hard time. When the feelings get high I still have those destructive urges.

@smc4043

Жыл бұрын

Good, loving energy from a stranger sent your way my friend ❤ keep up the good fight you got this it doesn’t have you anymore ❤️❤️🙏

@ashleychurchill9779

10 ай бұрын

My friend had the early stages of a eating disorder she weighed 120 In the fall. then later she lost weight and in the summer she got down 94 pounds at 5”5. She went to a program at children’s hospital for eating disorders she slowly gained weight.

Yeah we definitely keep it super duper shallow on social media. You can’t even call it by it’s name or you get punished! Thanks for keeping it real so your content is educational and not an ad for perfectionism.

It’s a long road! I didn’t finish healing until I had a baby and was teaching him to eat, love food and grow. Once I saw the magic of *all* foods and watched him blossom and thrive, I understood. Keep going.

What you shared so many have no idea of. You are heightening awareness, and doing great!

We love you for that honesty ❤💕

And that also has to be so frustrating when the logical part of your brain knows that you need to fuel properly before a run, especially at the level you train at. Thanks for keep it so honest and real, and keep fighting!

It’s also not about needing to allow yourself to eat more. Sometimes the struggle is to make yourself eat less. Anorexia and bulemia (restrictive) aren’t the only eating disorders. But I feel your pain. Take it one day at a time, one meal at a time and even one bite at a time I’d you have to. You are worth it. ❤

Acting in opposition of thoughts is a powerful recovery tool to share. Thank you!

That hand over the mouth bc it feels like your body wants you to spit it out while you're chewing... Real. I'm years in. Thank you for sharing.

you help my own process of growth so much and whenever i’m down on my race execution or nutrition you are always here and such an inspiration. thank you so much

Same. I think about this all the time, because I've been recovering for 6 years now and I'm still not 100% "me". And it's not always visible to people because I can hide it so well . Thank you

Seriously! It makes me crazy seeing so many people in recovery who seem to just have it all together from day one. Recovery usually takes years.

I’m so happy I’ve been able to fully recover from mine. I really relate to this video. I’d say it ended earlier this year for me. I realized that I no longer feel guilty when I’d grab an extra serving of dinner or going to get ice cream with friends. I stopped thinking “oh well I overate, now I get to skip a meal tomorrow as punishment to myself because I deserve to go hungry and to “balance out the calories”. Really hope you can find a way to get out of those bad mental self talks. It feels so darn good to scarf down a fantastic meal and be glad that you did it instead of mad about it afterwards.

@allie_ostrander

11 ай бұрын

So proud of you! Congratulations!

This is so true. For me it's the same with BED. I'm definitely very far in my recovery, however, it's a daily battle to not give into these urges to binge down food.

Also I tend to get super jealous of the people who are like "I started to eat more and now I'm super energized". Yes, I eat more, I have gained weight, but I'm also super tired. Fighting all these thoughts is exhausting.

@AK-rx8gp

3 ай бұрын

Me too. I heard you actually get more tired when you first start to eat more because your body is prioritising healing over giving you energy. Also when you don't eat your body gives you adrenaline for energy instead so you feel a crash from that. Made sense to me but I still feel super super guilty whenever I'm tired.

Absolutely so true, I have been struggling to not weigh myself every day because I become too obsessed with every little thing I eat. Still after all this time I have been fighting my disorder,, I have found that menu planning, calories and exercising consumes my thoughts pretty much over 80% of my days. It is never as easy as oh I am eating more yay!! Thank you for sharing your feelings about this, it is nice to know I am not alone ♥

This has been my life for 30 years.

@louis-gm3th

10 ай бұрын

i'm so sorry:(

You are right. It's a never-ending Battle, even when you are already "recovered" there are days were that voice telling you not to eat or saying you should burn those calories is just unbearable. Thanks for talking about it, ppl out there just make it look wonderful to be recovered when its just not an easy task

Going on 8-9 years of recovery. I still struggle, I still find myself falling back into old thoughts and habits and I still have to pull myself out of them. But it's worth it every day, because I'm healthier for it ❤ keep fighting. After a while, you catch yourself more quickly and can adjust accordingly like you

I love your honesty. Sending you lots of hugs, love and light.

Thank you for this ❤and making people understand it’s not just abt not eating it’s abt mentally wanting to eat ❤

Thank you, because honestly it’s already hard to have an involuntary eating disorder and then to go on social media and see people act like it’s easy to get over makes it worse. So thank you for being genuine 🧡

Wonderful video. Been in recovery around eight years or so and I still Struggle with those feelings of guilt And shame. Even now after so much progress I still feel bad or wrong For eating certain foods I love. Keep up the amazing awareness you are creating ❤

Debt can be a moral issue if you are pushing your problems onto your children or family. Caleb gives real advice to people more than is shown in this video, I would argue he gives much more realistic and personal advice in comparison to Dave Ramsey. He also has compassion for mental health issues - he gets very fiery but it’s because he cares, one of the things that comes up is that he often cares more about someone else’s financial wellbeing than they do themselves. This kind of financial rage bait I would say also personally inspired me to take better control of my own finances and get out of debt quickly. My parents were not financial role models in the slightest and I had no other way to learn than online. I can understand not everyone would like this approach because it can seem mean spirited but there can be a lot of good coming out of it.

Thank you!! You are strong for sharing your journey to help others! You are beautiful! Its crazy hoe we see ourselves so differently than others see us. I long for the day when i am fully healed and can truly be confident in loving myself. I will get there we are growing each day. You deserve to be kind to yourself. You are worthy of food and nutrition and love. This is the time of healing and it is sp hard some days but we got this!

I also fell for the glamorisation of recovery - when I chose to recover I thought that was the hard decision made and the hard part over but in all honesty it got worse before it got better. I'm so much happier now but the first year was the worst time of my life and I hope other people going through that know they're not alone in struggling and that they shouldn't give up - it will be worth it in the end ❤

💙💙💙My thoughts don't seem quieter. I just try to be more patient with them. I acknowledge them and let them go. Usually for me to cut my hair off, because it would be easier to not appear as feminine. My mother had some rough challenges. So I just acknowledge, practice patience, and let go to focus on a positive present. Also, I choose careful places to allow myself to express more feminine, like an accepting group where I can wear a dress occasionally when I feel like it. 💖💐

THANK YOU, for speaking this out and being alongside ppl like you and I that feel like no one can understand us.

Thank you for this!!! I struggle w an ED and my family isn't so- idk caring ab it, so I'm having to do this on my own and that definitely doesn't help. But I always see these videos of these like super healthy happy ppl recovering from their EDs an jus saying "just eat it's super easy u just have to try harder!" an then I feel even worse ab myself bc I wonder why I can't "just eat" ykwim? Plus the foods they eat are always these super fancy gourmet dishes and idk- I struggle to just eat a banana :'] So seeing a genuine video like this is much more uplifting! I wish you luck in your recovery by the way

Thank you for sharing. Several of my friends have struggled for years…and, you’re right..most people think that everything is back to normal..and they don’t understand. It helps when someone like you has the courage to be their voice!

6 years and I still have these thoughts that are so overbearing and loud in my head - even though I’m weight restored the daily battle is so exhausting and the worst thing is no one knows they just see your weight and assume your fine or no longer struggling - for me the mental battle is the hardest thing about recovery.

God, I can't express how proud I am of you. I hope you keep fighting that voice until it shuts up.

I started recovery in June 2021. Now being September 2023 I am just over 2 years in. I was anorexic for relatively short period of time, I started developing one in April 2020, and it was slow process. The thinking patterns were less set as a result, a situation that I am extremely thankful for. I don't battle daily, but no matter how far away you get from it, it can always reappear. Those insecurities that you need to lose weight for health and that you are too fat still creep in every so often. I still calorie count and that helps me know that I haven't eaten too much and keeps my ED thoughts at bay. I have made massive improvements. I can sit topless in my room without obsessing about how fat I am and I can comfortably wear shorts. I can buy trousers again, which I couldn't do for ages. My body dysmorphia has really calmed down. I have been left with some binging issues though, so foods that I used to be able to just have in the house are now probably going to get eaten in the middle of the night, as in the rest of the packet. I don't buy biscuits, sweets, chocolate bars etc for that reason. And even packets of ham aren't safe. One of the few sweet treats I can have are tubs of ice cream, as I didn't like them before I got ill, so I was never trying to restrict myself from them in the first place, so I have a normal relationship with ice cream.

I relate to this so so much. I recently relapsed and it’s so hard to eat for me. I always say I’ll try to eat more or better the next day but I feel like I haven’t tried hard enough. ED recovery is so hard, and I dislike that it’s so glamorized into being such easy, because it’s not. Thank you for bringing up this topic and I wish you luck in recovery. ❤

I admire you. I appreciate your openness and honesty.

So I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts about this. I've been struggling the last several months, I have to convince myself to eat. I'm not afraid of being fat, because I am fat, I have been for years. I'm pretty OK with the skin I'm in. But I'm a single mom, and I constantly worry about running out of food for my kids. I often go without food because I can't stomach eating it knowing I'm not saving it for my kids. Or I'll cook and take a couple of bites worth for me so my kids see me eat something and split the rest between them. The fear is really powerful. I've got pretty major health issues, and I started tracking what I eat to try and lose weight and I realized that if I just eat what I feel like eating ill often only manage 600-1000 calories. Usually closer to 600, I have to force myself to eat more than that. And the days when I don't eat more my weight is usually higher. So I know my body is in a really stressed out state. It's still really hard. I've had the thought maybe I have an eating disorder, but I thought it all revolved around body image issues

Thank you for explaining this. I am so happy for you that you were able to eat today even though you felt it was "too early to eat" and you didn't deserve to eat. It must be hard to battle those thoughts. You are helping others who suffer from this condition by honestly sharing how the this condition effects you.

As someone who struggled with eating but definitely doesn’t “look” like I do, it’s such a struggle to literally have almost 90% of your day be focused on food. I’m recovering now but even recovery makes food a focus that it shouldn’t be

It really gets me to see how much you struggle ...i can see it in your eyes, in your body language and also the way you fill up your spoon. This is so honest of you and thanks for sharing and to show how reality may looks like.❤

I'm 6 years into recovery and the voice still comes back sometimes. I'm happy to say my life has improved so much since I recovered though, for anyone currently struggling there is hope and you will have much easier days ❤

I’m battling obesity while having bulimia and I struggle with these thoughts. Especially since losing a bunch of weight people are a little nicer and complement my weight loss and still at a psychiatric hospital staff treated me different for being obese. So these thoughts are a lot louder and a lot stronger lately.

Totally agree with you. Its really sad when our thoughts and feelings work against us and its not easy to act opposite to them. Sometimes we win, sometimes we don't. But people from outside can't see this inner struggle and say stupid things which hurt😐

Congratulations for keeping going for two years. It’s really hard to oppose thoughts like that. But as someone who also does exposure therapy I admire you.

I just wanted to say Thank You for sharing your life! Even if you help one person it will all be worth it! Thank You! Keep up the hard work girl!!!

Agreed. I have OCD and ive been in recovery for four years. But I definitely still have those horrible days where i have to fight my compulsions. Sometimes our brains just are against what is best for us. Its a frustrating struggle. Hang in there.

Mental health is so hard, it isn't glamorous, keep going, you got this!!

I actually had a fairly smooth recovery, it’s only been a month or so, but I definitely have daily mental battles. Keep up the work girly❤

Well said Allie! It’s hard work every day . . . thank you for sharing your journey of recovery with us! 💯💪👍🙌

Your words are true and beautifully shared. Your vulnerability is inspirational and your words will help others. Remember recovery is an ongoing process - too many experiences in life are spoken about in a way that implies we reach a point where we are 'over' something or 'accept' something. I think its healthier for us to remember that recovery is ongoing - day after day - and it is ok to have a day where you battle. The next day will feel a bit better, or maybe the day after that. And then there will be a hard day again. We need to be kind to ourselves, and patient, and forgiving. You are on a journey of recovery and that fact that you are authentic and vulnerable will be really helpful. You got this, each day is a victory. Believe ❤

Waking up early and being hungry is an excellent sign that you actually doing things right. If you are not you are probably not having a good digestion or good habits. Go girl you’re an athlete you can do this strong body strong mind

Eating disorders are a ilness and should be treated as such , i got called fat today from a friend , but i dont give a F , im in menopause and im a recovery addict , I have never been bothered with how i look but others clearly do , You have got girl ❤

Dear God, help Allie know she is perfect and deserves this whole world ❤ She deserves more than this world ❤

This is so true. It's not easy. Actually it's worse than the eating disorder itself. Lots of fear shame guilt anger confusion and battling nonstop within your head. I've been struggling to recover. I'm currently in a partial inpatient program trying to recover so I understand your struggle this illness is so freaking hard to battle

Glamorized recovery can draw lots of attention perhaps reaching someone just starting a bout with their heart about safety. Valuable as well as an unglam story♡ I agree. It isn't gorgeous, life living xoxo. I follow you on IG and here now. I like your precious approach at sharing with youthful innocent feel

In my prayers, very cool that you state that your recovery is very tough, but, will occur if you make the decision to challenge destructive thoughts. May Peace and Abundance Be Yours.

11 years since my ED. Went on a work trip with two naturally skinny co workers and we went to the beach while we were there and they wanted to take a bunch of photos together. Still somewhat triggering for me. Wanted to go straight back into full fledged dieting when I got home. I’ve learned a lot of mechanisms to cope with all of that, and I struggle on the other side with not wanting to eat too much now as my overweight mom died of a sudden heart attack in her 50s 3 years ago. Mental health is always a fight. And ED’s just complicate it. Keep fighting Allie, and anyone else here. Y’all got this!

I had one for 4 years, 12 years later i still have the thoughts, especially because i need to loose weight for my health. Im making sure old habits don't consume me again. ❤

It's very brave of you to share your videos. You mentioned in one things people have said to you that triggered you. Some seem banal enough but looking at through the lens of eating disorders, they are harsh.

Literally, I’m still in recovery after 5 years, it still hasn’t gotten better, I’ve only made a little bit of progress :,) thank you for sharing your story ❤

Dear God please put your presence on people who need strength, reassurance, and confidence to face any struggles in life. Amen 🙏 ❤️

Also ~ the recovery for people who have struggled with severe/complex ED and/or over a decade or longer can be a lot more medically challenging. Some people will have to learn how to live a new normal with permanent G-tubes, major mouth/esophageal surgery, heart dysrythmias, osteoporosis, etc. It can be physically painful to eat, or even dangerous to eat a "normal" amount due to refeeding syndrome. That side of things isnt readily shown on social media, but in real life (from what I've seen) that is a huge aspect of the experience for those living with EDs (in recovery or not).

I experienced this. You are your own bully. You have to practice disbelieving your thoughts. And you have to examine where you are nutrient/vitamin deficient. When your body is better balanced so is your brain and your thoughts. Meanwhile…. Be aware of your thoughts, but know the thoughts are not real. Let the thoughts float by. ‘Real’ is anything you can touch or see. Thoughts are not real. When a thought pops up like…. ‘I don’t deserve this, I am…..’ consciously make the effort to confront the thought, take your power back and generate thoughts that slay…. Like, ‘yes- I do deserve this meal, so you can f**k off now (thought). It takes some practice to do this but it really helps.

ED recovery is not pretty. I had an eating disorder when I was younger and my recovery was not easy. It took me ages to start eating again. Ur words rang true to me. Your strength is inspiring

EDs are more like addictions than diseases - they get better, but they never fully go away. 15 years with this and I AM way better, but I do he g ED influenced thoughts still and sometimes when I exercise and try to keep a healthy diet it's hard for me to distinguish whether I am truly motivated by health or my ED. I don't mean to be discouraging by the way, just know there are many of us like you going through the same struggle, you are never alone ❤

4 years later and my hunger cues are still fucked up. My brain is constantly telling me eating disorder thoughts and I act in opposition but it’s turmoil

honestly, sometimes I have really bad days, and they used to turn into months, but now because I push past the thoughts even though I feel like I'm going to be sick if I smell food, because I know I need this to survive

Thats so wild. Growing up, I was deprived of food. I'm always thankful just to have another meal everyday and always look forward to eating even if I don't 'deserve' it. This is a very interesting perspective

@AverageMetalEnjoyer2

11 ай бұрын

Because its an eating disorder

@BakedBuddy

11 ай бұрын

@@AverageMetalEnjoyer2 Thats so wild. Growing up, I was deprived of food. I'm always thankful just to have another meal everyday and always look forward to eating even if I don't 'deserve' it. This is a very interesting perspective

@AverageMetalEnjoyer2

11 ай бұрын

Are you a bot? It’s not a perspective its an illness\disorder@@BakedBuddy

@BakedBuddy

11 ай бұрын

@@AverageMetalEnjoyer2 same thing.

@AverageMetalEnjoyer2

10 ай бұрын

Nope. A disororder can’t be changed but perspective can. I’ve been through an eating disorder and it’s so hard I’m still recovering.@@BakedBuddy

Yes 3 years in recovery after 30 I still get thoughts . I work on them hypnosis rewiring has really helped. It's fantastic to have made the choice to get well x

i use to think 500 calories a day was a lot, and i use to track my carbs, calories,etc. whilst only be 12-13ish I’m so glad you aren’t glorifying ED disorder because i still count sometimes. It’s hard, and serious.

I'm really glad that you have kept fighting, instead of listening to the negativity around you; I pray that you find strength in Jesus, He will help you succeed! God bless

I don’t have an ed. I have never had one, and I’m glad people on here are spreading awareness for it. I am so thankful I don’t have one

It’s painful. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done ❤ and the most worth it

We believe in you! Food is not an enemy ❤

❤❤❤We all love your honesty and YOU for who you are❤❤❤

I’m 48 years old….my ED began when I was around 9. The daily struggles are real. The everyday fight is real. And I’m still struggling.

Thank you for your honesty. I hate that ‘I don’t deserve food’ shit

You’re very strong, Allie. Keep kicking ass

Thank you. I relate to this so much and I agree with you recovery is not as easy as we just have to eat the food. It’s still a daily battle but it’s choosing to go against those thoughts even if it’s uncomfortable

You can do this! I'm fully recovered for 3 years! It's possible❤️

Thank you❤ i hate that everyone makws it look so easy, it makes me feel like something is wrong with me for struggling

The awful feeling of suddenly eating normally after restricting food is what I hated most.

You got this, I believe in you.

The fact that these people were once forced to believe they did not deserve to eat angers me so much. Eating disorders are very difficult to cure, and they have extremely bad effects on the mind and body. But every living being deserves to eat something to survive, which is why I always tell people to eat something little even if they don't feel like it. Especially when it's breakfast, lunch and dinner. You can be selfish in this, nobody should dare to question you in this ❤

It took me.... a good 10 years to ave more good thoughts than bad. But it gets easier ever time you make a healthy choice. ❤

It does get simple at some point. Not as simple as other people but you can be like "I had energy yesterday and less anxiety and I did something new!" I've battled Ed since I was 11... probably longer but I was diagnosed shortly after. I'm 31. My point is. Invest in your healthy habit. Use tools to help you engage in our hunger cues and schedule and routine. Keep going babe. Feed your body. Respect your body. Nourish your body. That means eat. You got this. 😊

Congratulations on your journey and for sharing with us! You are so brave and amazing never give up 🎉🎉 🙌 never forgot how much Jesus loves you and you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!

im in recovery!! yea, the tiktok ones are not so realistic. Personally i still struggle with eating my fear foods.. (mostly any stuff that has bread) and i just automatically ignore the feeling of hunger in the morning but my mom helps me alot (she asks if i am hungry) but remembering the past im much much better now! also i rarely faint now, but my hair still falls out and i still am extremely underweight, but im gonna win!

And for those of us binge or binge-purge, you never completely get away from those thoughts. You just need to learn how to tell those thoughts they aren't going to control you.

I am so proud on how you worked on your daily challenges. Thank you for sharing.

True. Some days I just can't eat. So I need to force myself. And some days even that's not enough. Never Alone. Never Again

Thank you for sharing part of your story and the importance of knowing which thoughts in our head should be given space. Blessings.

you can recover, im proud of your progress

Sweetie you do deserve to eat enough, recovery from abuse takes years. I’m pulling for you honey and you are beautiful and good enough!!

@AverageMetalEnjoyer2

11 ай бұрын

That’s nice to say, but eating disorders are more mental its so hard. I’ve been recovering for 3 years and I still have trouble eating

You are a brilliant girl and you seem to be handling this in the best way for you. 😊