I love how us INFPs are able to ignore red flags yet create problems that don’t exist at the same time

@kimmolaine8069

Жыл бұрын

Haha. :)

@patrikkarlsson9463

Жыл бұрын

We're so effortlessly functional 😅

@seltelle3429

10 ай бұрын

😅

@lovkive

10 ай бұрын

that was such a personal attack 😭

@user-eo2th2lf6f

10 ай бұрын

Ouch

“We suffer more in imagination than in reality.” - Seneca Seneca must be an INFP.

@stevecarter8810

Жыл бұрын

Nah because he spotted that there is a reality outside of the imagination

@sunhythen

Жыл бұрын

@@stevecarter8810 🤣

@kam6351

Жыл бұрын

Imagination isn’t the suffering, reality is 😅

@SmailINFP-pq5iq

11 ай бұрын

No ..imagination is my ideal world 😂.. It's created piece by piece ..and it's great . That's why my reality is chaotic 😢

@neroow2258

9 ай бұрын

LOL 🤣🤣🤣

As an INFP, the reason I am watching this is because I am worried about a future relationship that I am not even in…I have never been in a relationship too 💀

@shelovesrealmadrid

6 ай бұрын

Sameee dudee

@himx_3

4 ай бұрын

Us bro 🫂

@Wotasheeep

4 ай бұрын

Wow we're all just 1 person apparently

@user-wq2wt3vr2y

3 ай бұрын

For me, I just wanna hear fluttery 😂

@jinkusu_

3 ай бұрын

Same bruh and the funny thing is I already anticipated I'd be like this once I entered any romantic relationship T^T

As an infp, I'll add that, we tend to shy away when our efforts to connect with others are not appreciated. We result to isolation. I'd encourage every infp not to give up, and to see any effort to connect with others as improving a skill to a more fulfilling life.

@ashleyhauser525

Жыл бұрын

So true

@eurekatsai4184

Жыл бұрын

This is just too real. I feel interested in this guy who is my colleague. At first, he made his approach to me, make me feel a bit flustered but appreciate his affection. But when I decided to make my move and try to be more friendly and outgoing for him, he just treated me coldly all of a sudden. I cried my lungs out yesterday after finally feeling nothing I do was worth it. Now I’m just don’t understand what I did wrong and decided to stay the hell away from him to prevent myself getting hurt again. I don’t understand man and I blame myself for what happened.

@Ludawig

Жыл бұрын

Haaa, so true 😅 thanks

@medots6194

Жыл бұрын

@@eurekatsai4184 I'm deeply sad for hearing that :( I wish for you the best of luck in finding a person that truly appreciates you :) Our main problem I'd say is the fact that we rarely give affection, but when we do, we give so very much to the point that it hurts when it's not appreciated equally :') Some people are just jot capable, perhaps... Here's to us trying to limit how much we give in one go to someone we admire... hopefully :'D

@patrikkarlsson9463

Жыл бұрын

Thing is, coupled with our tendency to connect prior experience with future prospects based on present nothings and often having a history of our efforts to connect being rejected, most of the "not being appreciated" is only in our heads, but we make it into a reality by instantly withdrawing.

Honestly this was the BEST dating advice I've ever listened to. Screw all of the other popular "dating coaches" spouting about some sort of Alpha-male stereotype. So much negativity and something an INFP will never become in that way, except by healthy reassurance and positive self-talk.

@VintageCR

Жыл бұрын

alpha male is just a nuance to say, look at my ego. you should act like that too! and then you push people away because INFP. we can't act like that. just not programmed to do so.

@viniciusalmeida5291

Жыл бұрын

Soo real

@NESherv

11 ай бұрын

As a straight guy, that alpha male bullshit is exactly why I stopped watching all of those dating coach videos so long ago. So much toxicity and "bro" advice out there. In every single video without fail, the narrative was, "It was completely your fault that she rejected you, bro, but sign up for my free seminar and I'll make you Dan Bilzerian." Fuck that noise.

@mariaagosti-pm7tk

8 ай бұрын

As an INFP woman, I do like men who dont possess an ego like alpha male types. My ex for example, I first thought he is someone who has his own mind and doesnt follow the crowd, but his ego got the best of him. I ADORE men who are TRULY themselves, who know what they want and who aren't afraid to show emotions and vulnerability. This alpha male bullshit rejects completely the idea of being yourself. It will only attract the wrong women who adore manipulation. @@NESherv

@sabrenuh9924

7 ай бұрын

Truly couldn’t agree more, what a solid way of understanding someone’s shortcomings and the way to improve them, all based on personality. It gives me hope to improve myself and have those fulfilling relationships we all need.

So much of this is so accurate. As a fearful-avoidant INFP, relationships have always been a struggle. At times, I simply don't know how to *be* while in one. The Fi is definitely strong... so on the point about wanting others to take an interest, and feeling slightly offended when they don't - I like reframing it as them being respectful of boundaries though! Also, definitely guilty of being a bit distant and romanticizing the happy feelings inside my head instead of outwardly communicating them, practicing active love. Another difficulty is bringing up problems instead of making assumptions on behalf of the other person and attempting to resolve it all in my own head. I'm practicing being open, authentic, and more communicative. Thank you, Heidi! 💖

“Admiration creates expectation to behave in ways that are inauthentic.”

You called me out so bad. I'm realizing I'm the one who's responsible for sabotaging most of my relationships so far.

Ugh. Boundaries, pedestal stuff, communication - my biggest problems. I've always come out as a FiNe INFP in every test, despite trying to see things from other angles. My wife has accused me of all of these things in the past. Went through some difficult times, because of them. After some big crises, I managed to find ways to manage these issues. So, so hard - it really felt like murdering my ego. On the other hand, we're still together and I've never been happier. Thanks for this video!

@RS54321

Жыл бұрын

Murdering your ego...what a great description. I almost liken it to being peeled like an onion-super uncomfortable.

@Arado159

Жыл бұрын

If you don't mind sharing, what MBTI does your wife have?

INFP, 38 here: I came to terms with all this topics BUT one! The third! No matter how I try, people don't undestand that I have an interest in them unless they are INFP themselves, or sometime INFJ. I alway try to verbalize my feelings, but somehow everything comes up really wierd or clumsy, frequently very unfriendly. Many people in my life told me I seem rude or snobbish... Every time I like someone, as a friend, colleagues, etc... I can't seem to reach them. It's not just something with my words, but also with my body, face expressions or gesture, I think. But since I cannot see myself during the act, I really don't know where to start here to fix this...

This came at the perfect time! I was starting to think something is wrong with me and went back down into a depressive spiral. Now I feel better knowing that I'm not alone and I can improve. Thank you!

@cambibambi3746

2 жыл бұрын

Something is wrong with you. You believe meyers briggs.

@ivorydelights

2 жыл бұрын

@@cambibambi3746 are you okay?

@cambibambi3746

2 жыл бұрын

@@ivorydelights yeah. Are you?

@Crimetales123

2 жыл бұрын

@@cambibambi3746 and yet you are here

@Sniperthe0ne

2 жыл бұрын

The best thing about the INFP I feel is being aware of there short comings and having the opening mindedness and humbleness to want to improve them. Stay strong friend 😊

Why is this so true 😭😭😭 I feel exposed and naked as hell 😭😭 I've started a romantic relationship with my ISTP boyfriend a year and a half ago, and I'm literally guilty of all the things mentioned in the video. I love him so much, but being in this romantic relationship is such a struggle for me. I often feel overwhelmed and anxious, I've been keeping a lot to myself, trying to be way too understanding and overall I'm too scared of communicating. I've been in my head so much, thinking of all the problems that could arise later on. I always want him to ask me about my feelings, thoughts, past, cuz it would show he cares about me, but even my mom told me it's not a healthy behavior. People say INFP ISTP isn't the easiest match so idk how much of that is true, but I feel like its a match that enables me to learn so much about myself and life. He is the best at grounding me. I think he is an amazing person, he works a lot to bring us money, he's been very supportive of me drawing, he's been trying to help me with my problems, and he always try to reassure my feelings with his logic and calm demeanor. There's things I also dislike about him, but again, I was never able to communicate all of it cuz I keep too much to myself… So yeah. Idek if anyone would read it but I'd gladly read advices or others' stories ^^

As an infp it was very hard to concentrate for this long :D

This is the crux in my life in finding the right romantic parner. That insatiable curiousity in all facets of life and deep connection that never feels fully reciprocated. Just in certain areas and traits. It seems like I always get romatically involved with people that fits parts of me but never the whole package. Sometimes its on a intellectual or cerebral level. Sometimes on an emotional one, sometimes logical or practical, sometimes sensual or physical. Sometimes its in artistry or creativity. I always notice I wind up asking more questions than I receive. I want it all. Curiousy, intensity, passion, security, sensuality, artistry, adventure, brazenness, consistency, appreciation and reciprocation in my own way that I need. Sometimes my basic needs are met but most often than not they arent. Ive always realized too I am anxious preoccupied attachment but have gotten better at coping over the years despite what is going on in my head versus whats going on in reality and let things play out in full with people before making impulsive actions or decisions. I have a tendency to over comunicate my thoughts. If I suspect. I will observe with vigilance to actions over words based on my history. I have always been told by women (DA and AP) that I am very easy to talk to and they love that about me in the beginning. But then things fizzle out. I am very sensitive to behavioral and actions changes and assigning meanings to them until I allow reality to play out. I get so upset with myself for having moments in my life where I can be so cool calm and collected and in center and others i just lose it. Its like I am acustomed to always dealing with crises but eventually work through it. I attract people not that i want to fix anyone anymore. But yeah I realized from all my past relationships that i keep artracting people that are semi broken in one form or another like myself.

@blablabliss123

13 күн бұрын

Oh my god. I've never related to something so strongly in my entire life. Especially the first paragraph

That part about living in the future and foreseeing problems that haven't even happened yet is huge

Wow I left a comment 9 months ago, and I was in such a sad place. Since then I've really taken my own needs into account with dating and am now with the most beautiful, considerate person who actually ENJOYS hearing about my feelings and needs and is happy to work with me on what I need to feel present and content. Such a big change since my last comment! INFPs: it is possible to have a happy relationship, you literally need to just honour yourself, don't dissociate or feel guilty for your needs or people please - be real and the right person will not only accept it, but love you for it!

@creatureofstyle

7 ай бұрын

Most importantly be present in reality so that you'll be able to recognize when a person accepts you and loves you for who you are. If you're too much in your imagination you may overlook the right person and end up pursuing the wrong one instead

I will say that for myself as an INFP all of the information in this video is accurate, not only that but the bit about putting people on a pedestal is also I would say our way of both immortalising them in our mind and placing them into a kind of status of a god almost idolizing them and what they think their version of them is, despite that not being their true self which then goes into the irony of the fact that INFPs want to see the true self of everyone yet they are then not able to do so when they have placed a person on a pedestal because then they're seeing the idealized version and the dream rather than what is true.

I put people on pedestals almost instantaneously. It feels a little difficult to take them out of it. It definitely is something that I'm guilty of.

Speaking of opening up about how we (INFPs) feel...we need to know that someone wants to hear the long, verbose, onslaught of talking that will go on once we decide to open up. That's why we'd rather someone pry it out of us so that we can limit what we open up about to just what the person wants to know.

@julietteferrars3097

16 күн бұрын

Exactly.

10 minutes in and EVERY point is hitting home I'm here laughing at how exposed I feel 🙈🤣 I love how you put things so perfectly

@srbu8650

Жыл бұрын

Really...it's so true that it kind of hurts!😅 But it's so relatable and soothing..😌

Wow. This is eye opening. As an INFP, I feel confused about myself. Since we only make up 4% of the population I really do feel like an outcast at times because my mind works so differently and I view the world and situations differently. This was insightful. Thanks for sharing.

I rarely feel the need to comment, but this information is golden. And as a 47 yo INFP, it's true that it's very much possible to overcome the challenges listed. Thanks for articulating these insights so well x

@LMBL-hp2jc

Жыл бұрын

Hey Robin, I’m 48, and I agree. It took me a while to overcome these challenges. Apparently, it takes life experiences for Ne to notice to impact Fi for the better.

1. Romance sucks. Avoid it. 2. Refer to number 1. 3. All other relationships are fine.

OMG 🎯 she’s right on the money!! When I heard “Panicking about problems that do not exist yet” I was floored! I’ve never heard anyone point that out about INFPs including and especially me. And those things about “wanting someone to pry things out of them…” and “ over assuming responsibility “ what can I say? I cannot believe how spot on she is!! 😂😂😂 yes ma’am, affirmative!! Very helpful truths. 😉✨💗

@Xxmel951xX

7 ай бұрын

"Panicking about problems that do not exist yet" me *thinking about myself* => 😳😳🤣🤣 that's right!!!! My mother tells me sometimes to try looking for someone. 5 seconds after that I'm already thinking about what happen next months if I meet a guy "I'm too independent. How tell him I love being alone 80% of time ? How tell him I'm 30 and virgin, what he will do? If finally I'm not attracted, how to say him ? If he tells me to move in his house, what I'm supposed to do? ...". "Don't worry mam, I'm fine alone" with my perfect relationship in my head 😁

@isaza5716

23 күн бұрын

I dont think thats a bad behavior. You can avoid problems when you think ahead.

ENFP married to an INFP. You are excellent at what you do. You described my wife so well in so many ways. I have even talked some of these things out with her, but what you communicated here was more specific and concise. Thank you!

Thank you for this video. It helps me feel less alone and hopefully I will be more consciously aware of when I’m feeling or acting this way. Thanks again.

#3 is so true! My husband almost stopped dating me after the second date because he couldn’t tell that I liked him.

@KatherineMoyles

5 ай бұрын

Did u tell him explicitly or how did you realise?!

This was the most thorough and informative video on Infp dating that I've ever seen. Thank you so much!

Best insight into the INFP I have heard - and I have heard a lot. I wish I knew this earlier. I had to go through a lot to learn this about myself. So great to have this "tough love" for INFP growth out there though. Thank you! Well put.

i am INFP, been married for 10 years and been with my husband for the past 18 years..i m guilty of almost everything you said. Im learning to communicate better now and i am 39 years old. Better late than never. Great video

Very informative Heidi! Definitely things this INFP needed to hear! Thank you! 🙏🏻❤️

I really like how you put a positive spin on the negatives it's very uplifting❤

Wow I've been studying personality types I'm looking at a lot of videos recently. Your video has been extremely helpful. Just this one video could save an individual thousands of dollars in therapy costs. Thank you so much For taking the time to make that video so powerful.

This is so valuable Heidi! Exactly the type of content I want as an INFP. Thank you!

I really like your boundary analogy of the fenced house where you can clearly see where it starts and ends! Super helpful! Great video.. thanks so much!🙏

I appreciate how honestly and beautifully you explained this; it gave me such a strong sense of clarity and "aha" moments about INFP tendencies I've had for so much of my life in various relationships. I also loved that you provided us with specific ways to improve and grow.

This is a wonderful overview. Thank you so so much. I am navigating several relationships, and I am pleasantly surprised that I seem to have taken many of the steps you recommend to avoid problems I am prone to. But the encouragement to keep it up and ways to make it even better and understanding on what I am counteracting is sososo helpful. 🙌

Honestly every point you've made in this video was something I noticed I did, either before or still do. I am always actively finding ways to become a better person. Your video helped me realize some of the flaws I have that I need to be conscious about next time I enter any kind of relationship. :) Thank you very much, I would like to watch more videos like this from you. 💛

Thank you!! I was feeling a bit lost and unsure of why I felt so distant from my partner. This video just gave me some huge insights into some ways I can improve in my marriage and be a better partner. Pure gold here.

Whoa, Heidi, it’s like you took an x-ray of my soul and then broke it down for the rest of the world to understand! Also, I don’t like these issues! 😩 thanks for the stellar advice! I laughed when you said at the beginning that you weren’t sure infp needed a separate video from ENFP- cause when I listen to ENFPs, like you, talk - it feels like they are my soul sister/bro- cause you are just verbalizing a lot of what I internalize.

I'm not even halfway into the video, but as an INFP, I really find this video so helpful in understanding myself better because I tend to keep a lot of things to myself and not express things to people around me well. Thank you Heidi! :) I'll continue watching the video haha

🤯 Accurate. This is so insightful and intelligently spoken.

oh boi, I'm just gonna leave a heart here. Thank you for the work you do. INFP's really need to hear these things.. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

So much relatable content in this video .. as an infp I always knew what I want but at the same time I always confused about what other people thinks about me ..my early relationships was totally a failure because I failed to connect it with reality. As a infp relationships always be our priority but they also damage us the most sometimes. So be aware of ur own thoughts.

Multiple points you made resonate within me, especially the mind reading. Seems kinda of silly but I have been guitly of this my entire life. It doesnt help though that multiple people throughout my life have literally told me that they feel like I am very in tune with their thoughts and feelings. I dont believe that it is fake because I usually am fairly right but it is a huge opportunity for me because I can also be wrong and as you said it can rob others the opportunity for me to ask them what they are thinking and feeling. I dont think it is a super power but I also know that it is not a hoax.

I've just gone through a divorce and so many of these issues were very present in the relationship - really feels like I've learnt something about my actions and responsibility in the breakdown of the relationship. I've been struggling for a long time trying to make sense of it and been having a really rough time but I feel like this video has helped me look what I need to work on to get better. Thank you.

Wow this is so accurate & the last relationship I had I caught myself falling into old habits of idolizing the object of my affection & excusing bad behavior. I caught myself and walked away. I was so proud of myself.

This video was a nice confidence booster. I've had problems with all of these in the past and have made some serious progress. #2 still needs the most work but I'm past panicking at least. :)

From my perspective, as an INFJ, this video is very helpful. I had three serious relationships in my life, and all of my partners were introverts, and at least one of them a confirmed INFP. What really worked for us was sharing the same preference of love-language (quality-time, physical touch), appreciation of art, nature, spirituality, comfort, as well as the mutual understanding of recharging social batteries in solitude, interest in human psychology. We rarely had fights, but there were communication-conflicts due to avoiding some important topics, such as talking about boundaries, and instead assuming we could read each other's minds :D At the moment I have a romantic interest in a very good friend of mine who is an INFP. I really relate to #3, because I have difficulties reading her emotions. IF she is giving me cues that she wants me to take action, I genuinely don't get them. I'm too polite to cross physical boundaries just to see what happens... She told me a couple of times when we were talking about relationships that she wants 'the other person' to initiate -- but I am not sure if that is meant to encourage me to take action, or just general sharing of information. I'm pretty sure the solution would be to ask for clarification - but that would give away that I like her... *laugh* I'm dancing around her for more than a year now, and showing her my love in all the verbs I know. My tendency for all-or-nothing-thinking doesn't help here. Any N(e)-ideas and T(e)-solutions how to approach this situation with my INFP-friend? I really like our slow pace in getting to know each other, enjoy our time together and deep conversations but I'd like to know which direction we're heading. And she doesn't like to put labels on things... Thank you Heidi, for sharing your insights. I'd be interested in YOUR outside-in-sight into INFJ relationship challenges. Till next time, warm regards from Germany. Finn.

@kasiako355

2 жыл бұрын

Being an INFP myself I can confirm, that there is 96% chance, that the hints about taking the initiative are probably the most which she can squeeze from herself about telling you to get the initiating things in your hands ;D I personally really struggle with being the initiator, and am working to improve that, there's a pretty good chance, I am not the only one INFP who struggle with that ;)

@celizxo4246

2 жыл бұрын

@@kasiako355 Was about to say the same thing, would change the number to 99% haha

@kasiako355

2 жыл бұрын

@@celizxo4246 I'd wanted to do the same, but withdrawed from that, coz I'm not that sure about other INFPs yet. Therefore I chose a safer option ;)

@marcwemtrust1480

2 жыл бұрын

Hallo Silke. Heidi hat in vielem total recht. Ich bin selber Enfp, aber ambivert. Darf ich dich um Advice bitten: In wie weit war bei Euch der "Solitude-Grad"? Bei meiner ISFP / ISTP sis ist es zum Beispiel so, dass "Ruhezeit" auch heisst, wir sitzen ruhig in ihrem Zimmer und gehen unseren eigenen Dingen nach. Heisst Solitude bei dir auch: "null online kommunizieren (schreiben)" und "null gamen mit anderen"? Es könnte aber auch sein, dass dieser infp, so meine Erfahrung, traumatisiert und ängstliche Tendenzen hat, oder schlicht kein Interesse. Ist leider auch als FE NI oder NE FI schlecht rauszulesen. Auch kenne ich einige Leute in meiner nahen Umgebung mit suizidalen Tendenzen oder Panikattacken, was es eben nicht leichter macht. Ich kann dann leider gar nichts mehr Unterscheiden, ist es jetzt "ich brauche Ruhe" oder "ich habe Angst" "ich bin in Depression" ich sag nur "Without more clear direct communication: No chance." Ich verstehe, dass Intros nicht so gerne über sich reden, oder generell wenig, aber es ist wie Heidi schon sagt für das Wachstum innerhalb der Personen und in jeder Beziehung ungemein wichtig.

@misssnowykawaii

2 жыл бұрын

By that, "the other person initiating ", It might mean being assertive in general. Asking her if she would like to spend time together doing A. or B activity like berry picking or studying at the library together. I am not her of course, but if I likes someone, i would prefer that the other person makes the move first to show mutual interest, rather than me chasing someone who has zero interest in me lol. And I like slow interaction too! I get a sense and depth of the person better after some time!

I really wish there was someone like you that covered the ENFJ. My husband is an INFP and this is so helpful, and spot on! I struggle to find anyone that delves into the ENFJ, on this level. Still, thank you so much for this 🙂

This is gold! Thank you so much for this incredibly helpful content. This makes me curious tho if and why the traits of INFP and those of fearful avoidant (anxious avoidant) overlap. Hmm

2nd point on extrapolating potential pitfalls and not giving people a chance is definitely an issue. I think many of us (especially older ones) do that because we understand our “weakness” in falling in love and the potential devastation it can bring if we fall for the wrong ones. Great video with solid advice overall, thanks.

This is the best video explaining how an INFP experiences things that I've seen! Well done! :)

I used to romanticize the red flags and last relationship I bypassed them. Got totally heartbroken so I’m finally taking more interest in myself than others rn. Ruminating instead of having a conversation is a really valid one for me. This made me realize how often I have conversations in my head and come to conclusions based on those. So much of what’s said here resonates with me but I also deeply resonate with INFJ 🤷‍♀️

💗🙏💗🙏💗🙏💗🙏💗 So much valuable truth in this video! I had to pause, rewatch and study it. I've been told that I seem distant and aloof and it used to always surprise me because I felt warmly towards the person. I'm coming to realize that I was conditioned to numb my sensitivity for most of my life, and retreated into my own inner world. I can see how this set up a dynamic in my last longterm relationship, with someone who was so traumatized that he had to numb himself with substances daily, where he felt comfortable not having to delve into feelings and deep down my emotional needs were starved. I felt so alone. Over time that situation became so stagnant and devoid of life, we recognized it was time to end it. After years of feeling like I was settling for a half-life in stasis, I'm coming back to life through allowing my feelings, with the encouragement of a new partner who is healthy and emotionally mature. Of course, I've fallen into idealistic fantasies about him and our relationship. While in reality, he's been trying to communicate to me how his needs are not being met, and how he doesn't feel my presence and closeness. I've been unaware of how my tendencies were negatively impacting him. It's not easy learning how to ground myself in reality, but Heidi is right, IT'S ESSENTIAL FOR TRUE CONNECTION. This shall be my intention, my practise. As an INFP, I appreciate and value my idealistic nature AND I hope to find my balance in grounding all my beautiful qualities and sensitivity in the real world. I wish this for all my INFP brothers and sisters! The world needs our gifts ✨🌻🪷🦋🧚‍♀️✨🌟❤️‍🩹🌦️🌈👊🥹🙏💗

This is brilliant and super helpful in a very practical way thank you!

Put this in my "not to forget" playlist, which I ironically forget the playlist exists until I wanna put something in it occasionally ^u^"" but thank you so so much for this video

@aleciamorgan2014

Жыл бұрын

I'm a 18 year old infp too. It sucks here sometimes

This video was funny to listen to. I'm a 27 yo INFP who's never had a girlfriend. So I couldn't even do all of these, but they are so relatable... I say "I'm fine with never ever getting into a romantic relationship". This means I have nothing to lose, so I go out and act like I'm confident. I have those warm thoughts about someone, but all we did was talking. I feel like forcing them to stay inside and only let some out bit by bit, preferably as actions, not just words. But self-critique makes this much harder than it should be... Let's just say it's funny. :D And I try to view this as having fun.

I love coming here to meet other INFP's and just seeing them support eachother is so cute and wholesome.

I'm an INFP and I am very guilty of the pedestal problem. This has been my unhealthy habit with crushes that I not only didn't see, but didn't want to see. My parents told me this was a problem I had, but I didn't really start to see and acknowledge that until recently. Now that I am aware of it, I'm doing my best not to let it take control of the way I view people. I realize I need to stop looking for someone I can idolize and invest my worth in and just start looking for someone who is an equal to me, who doesn't complete me but compliments me. Anyways, this video really is cracking down or elaborating on things I've needed to hear for some time. I'm glad to hear it, and I'm also glad I'm finally listening and not just clicking on the next video that makes me feel better instead of helping me getting better.

Heidi, this helps me a lot. I'm definitely guilty for all of this. Thank you for making me aware and on progress of healing

Why SO accurate 🫠 You are too good! 😌💙

Wowowow, these all hit home, but… #10 … It’s me. Thank you for this video, I love your energy~

Why did I realise and learn so much about myself through this video? Why didn't realise some even these things myself? Am I in denial again?! Anyways, thank you so much for the super informative video! I really appreciate it and I hope to that there will be tons of INFP videos for me to watch!

THANK U! REALLY ENJOYED & NEEDED TO HEAR THIS!!!

First one is spot on. I finally understand I do this, but I don't know that I would change it because I like seeing the best in others and giving them room to grow...

I just realized that not translating my thoughts to actions was my problem in my last relationship…thanks so much for this! Now I know and I’d like to improve on that!😊

It's kind of scary to hear these points in chronological order... because I can almost see exactly where I am and which hurdles I've already hit and have been working on, but then I see the things that I haven't experienced yet and I just KNOW that I will experience them eventually. A lot of things in here hit so close to home I felt embarrassed, insecure, or even defensive when you brought them up. I see now that I still have a ways to go, but I'm so glad to have at least some advanced warning so that I know what to expect when I finally do get into a long term relationship. And then as I was thinking all that, and about how much I've screwed up in the past, feeling dumb and naive, I hit the last point about overassuming responsibility which is what I was doing at that very moment. The treacherous part about dating as a young infp has been that not only am I immature and make a lot of mistakes, but the people I've been after have also definitely not been perfect. So I guess I don't have to take all the blame lol, even if I feel really bad about my part in it all. A bit of an essay here, all to say, thank you for this. I really learned a lot, maybe a little too much lol

This is extremely helpful. I’m 56 and four years out of a 27 year marriage. I’ve been really hesitant about new relationships of all types. Certainly I’ve learned many of these challenges through age and experience, but the last two were a surprise. Accurate!!! Assuming I can read everyone’s mind and over-assuming responsibility for everything that goes wrong. I naturally take full responsibility initially. Until I learned about alcoholism, I even took full responsibility for his drinking and tried everything to make him happy. Didn’t work, obviously, for either of us. Usually this trait is more subtle, but can still be damaging to ourselves. Recognizing it as an INFP trait definitely helps me stop blaming myself. Awareness is good! 🦋

@marcwemtrust1480

2 жыл бұрын

An experienced infp greetings. Can I ask you for some advice? Have you made some experiences with depressive, fearful introverts yet? Because for me its not easy to understand what I should do than, because they rarley communicate. I can not differ if its anxiety, depression or if they just want alonetime, because they really do not communicate clear enough in some cases, what makes me sad a bit, because I really wanna do best within every relationship and I do not know how to do best if there is less clear communication. Most of communication in the friendscircle is most cases online, which is way harder to figure out what they think and feel like. So less face to face, because if it was, it was way easier. So the question is, if I begged you as introvert that I need more clear words in order to treat you the right ways, would you give those to me? Thanks for reading. Best wishes. :)

Ooh, your understanding and explaining of #5 is really leading edge stuff! A modified version of this might apply to friendship forming, where mutual admiration is a positive component, one in which thoughts of romance are outside the boundaries. Thank you, Heidi!

We make our own problems. Major overthinker and procrastinator

Reality testing… that’s something I really need to practice. Thank you for that.

Wow, the point about being steps ahead and not living in the moment is so true!

Thank you so much for sharing. This is spot on and so helpful!

Alright! This is the video I’ve been searching for on your page! :)

Most if not all of these points are quite accurate :') The "prying information out of me" Part is quite a guilty pleasure of mine. which brings me much suffering when it results in me feeling as If I am invisible :'D Gotta work on that :') Marvellous work! And thank you for the very valuable insights ^^

This is vey useful. My first relationship didn't end well cause i didn't say that i loved him or showed more love and i will always regret that. But now i know better for the next relationship i will have, it's a good lesson learn. Thanks for your advice and your videos Sorry for my english i'm french

As an INFP, I'd say reading the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman would be a good resource in terms of making sure you take action to make your partner feels loved. By filling their love tank, you empower them to face the world and take on new challenges and even learn new insights that they can give you to help you work on your own problems.

@RogerCantona

Жыл бұрын

I was told about this book by a close friend not later than yesterday

@lifestoryguy

Жыл бұрын

@@RogerCantona that's a synchronicity worth exploring. Hope you got the chance to read the book.

Thanks, Heidi. This is really helpful and interesting. 🙂

Wow, awesome insights and advices, thank you so much

Us NF's are such experts of ourselves that sometimes we can miss the trees for the forest...thanks Heidi for pointing out some specific trees to focus on to keep our feet on Planet Earth long enough to learn to love in an effective way that others can appreciate 😊

yep, can you do one for ENFJs? i love your unique take on things after listening to a lot of people online about attachment and mbti

As an INFP ☺️ this was SOOOOO SOOO HELPFUL !!! 🤗💓😉👍 thank u

Who invented this woman? She is extremely intelligent. She knows us like the back of her hand...

@obidavekenobe

6 ай бұрын

brilliant. thats who this is😊

This is such a helpful insight for me!

Beatiful, professional and well spoken 💃🏻

I wish I watched this 2 years ago when it came out, wow. Like it's almost hard to believe, but I watched other videos too and there are real and genuine differences, and you just spent 35 minutes explaining everything I struggle with, and have been struggling with for like 7 years x.x Like it started a midlife crisis lmao. Thank you for this, 2 years later.

Great video ! I could relate to every challenge that you explained and I felt like "How did she know me so well ?"It was almost scary. And why didn't I know this myself ? I wish I had had these insights 10 years ago and the # 1point of justifying a red flag on the very first date looks so obvious now, but at the time I was so overly enthusiastic about finally, maybe having a relationship, I overlooked an important red flag, didn't maintain, or explain my boundaires and so the result was 10 years of a dysfunctional, toxic relationship. BUT I got my relationship . I over romantized.

Wow Heidi, your knowledge base on these concepts is amazing. Thanx for this video.

Oh my gosh! How spot on is this!? 😬😬😬

Wow, I've never been in a romantic relationship but I could see where this stuff happened in other areas of my life, especially when I was younger.

I found the contents you provided in this video to be really good to reflect on. Also I cant stop thinking about how your eyes match the ones in the painting you are sitting in front of.

Wait......you mean he's NOT going to turn up at my house after a year declaring his love to me and he changed because I broke through his cold heart??

@julietteferrars3097

16 күн бұрын

So real. My dad left 4 years ago and I’m still waiting… 😂

Thank you so much for your work 💐 you Just safed something big 🕯✨💜

alright, now its time to not blame myself for not knowing this information sooner (:

Thank you very much for this video. It is extremely helpful 😁👍🏻

I can definitely relate to the prying information out of INFPs lol but the way I think of it is if a person wants to know things about me and earned that respect they will get to know me and I open up. It might not be something everyone agrees with but I in return do the same thing when getting to know people I pry and I keep doing things that establish some sort of trust where they can be open with me and then I feel better about my role in that specific relationship (Friend, Family, or Spouse).

Wow, feel like i just had a personal therapy session. TY so much.

So beautifully explained. Highly informative video for Fi dominants not in action. 😂❤🙏

I had an almost 20 year friendship end recently. Over-assuming responsibility is my biggest hurdle. I will spare going into context but for anyone who is told that their needs are not important, to those who have someone who keeps giving empty promises, keep getting gaslit ect... I'm so sorry and I wish you the very best. Just like each of us is different. Every person you meet will be different and one day you will find a person who you feel safe with so you CAN be direct and honest. That one day you'll find someone who isn't perfect but works/fights with you not at/against you. To anyone having a bad day wishing you the best and hugs! You deserve to be loved and have people to share your love with❤-INFP