There's six 'premise formulas' I didn't get a chance to mention in the video. You might find these useful: 1. Inciting Incident + Character + Goal The Martian: After a storm leaves him stranded on Mars, astronaut Mark Watney must survive alone while finding a way to signal Earth for rescue. 2. Character + Goal + Setting Ninth House: A woman who can see the dead seeks justice for an unsolved murder by unravelling the twisted secrets of Yale’s secret magical societies. 3. Character + Goal The Hobbit: A comfort-loving hobbit reluctantly agrees to help a wizard and a group of dwarves steal treasure from a dragon. 4. Character + Goal + Stakes Six of Crows: Six criminal outcasts try to break into a military stronghold to free a hostage who could change the shape of magic forever. 5. Character + Inciting Incident Mort: An awkward teenager becomes Death’s apprentice. 6. Character + Inciting incident + Conflict + Stakes A Game of Thrones: After an honourable nobleman becomes the Hand to the King, he is plunged into a world of cutthroat politics, where he must choose between his family’s safety or the integrity of his oaths. *** If you'd like my help to develop your premise (and outline the rest of your fantasy novel), you might want to apply for my Fantasy Outlining Bootcamp. Here's the link: jedherne.com/outline

@XavierSchwindt

3 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for these!

Confused my sticky notes, now the chosen one is picking up eggs and bread

@umwha6271

3 ай бұрын

That might be how David Benioff wrote City of Thieves.

@umwha6271

3 ай бұрын

Come to think of it, that might be how Walter Miller wrote A Canticle for Leibowitz.

@TheZetaKai

3 ай бұрын

Instructions unclear: A lovable rogue and his band of misfits are on a quest for my wifi password.

@aka_zenko

3 ай бұрын

Is a snowstorm coming in? Lol

@blessedandbiwithahintofmagic

3 ай бұрын

Oh good good, she'll need this

Creating a premise is excellent writing practice. Making your premise fit on a sticky note is a challenge we should readily accept. Long live sticky notes!

600,000 words of worldbuilding is insane. Whoever that is I wish you luck in your endeavor 😭

@sinsiewnga53

3 ай бұрын

Thanks, I'll need it 🤣

@AquaMaryn.

7 күн бұрын

@@sinsiewnga53 To me, it sounds like a fount of creativity and inspiration,. Best of luck following your dream.

My writing teacher had a similar line of advice where he told us to put a sticky note with our theme on it over our screen. Everything in the world and story should, in some way, strengthen that theme.

@Jed_Herne

3 ай бұрын

Great advice. That's why I have both my premise and my theme on my 1-page guiding document.

I lost motivation to continue writing my book but after a watched this I immediately put my story in one sentence onto my sticky note and got back to writing!

@sofiaenault8902

3 ай бұрын

Happens to me every time as well

@thomasbennett5724

Ай бұрын

Two months later, how is it going?!

@BolognaBuck6

Ай бұрын

Amazing

I'd like to suggest that part of the premise should include the 'fun' factor. For Jade city I would say the fun part is "jade grants superhuman abilities". For Joanne's book the fact that magic is real. For Dune it is that you can "move to another planet". Without the fun, you have a story that could be very good, but they aren't fantasy or fantastical even if they have a fantasy setting.

@electra6821

3 ай бұрын

Yep. Also known as the 'Wow" factor.

@Jed_Herne

3 ай бұрын

That's a great note!

I recently went through the process of writing a two sentence blurb for my novel. Paring things down just a little more from there was an interesting thought exercise... And yes, it all fits nicely on a sticky note! "A small group of people from opposing sides in a galactic war must overcome their differences to escape a dangerous alien planet and save it from the world-devouring magic that it's grown to depend on."

@Iso20227

3 ай бұрын

Sounds good to me. I’d love to hear more about this world devouring magic that they depend on. Sounds like a really cool concept.

@jennymunday7913

3 ай бұрын

The planet is addicted to magic? That's a cool concept.

@VT-Scribbles

3 ай бұрын

If I may-! Not sure how much feedback you're looking for, but if I were asked to pare this down further, maybe simplify it to "Opposing sides in a galactic war must overcome their differences to escape a planet doomed by the world-devouring magic it's become dependent on." You can leave out 'alien' since 'galactic war' implies that it's sci-fi of some kind, and the other stuff just cuts out some of the wordier elements. OR, if you'd like to front-load the most specific and fascinating part of your premise, it could be re-written to "In order to escape a planet doomed by world-devouring magic, two opposing sides in a galactic war must put aside their differences." But that doesn't flow as nicely. Best of luck with your stories! :D

Two days ago i finished my fantasy novel/book (44300 words). I managed to do it in 32 days, i really enyojed writing it. Can't wait to sit behind the computer again and correct mistakes or change something to better. Some of your videos really helped me and kept me motivated the whole time :)

@Jed_Herne

3 ай бұрын

Great stuff! Good luck with the editing.

Gah! It is really hard to summarize! The best I could narrow it down to was: When a boy named Ruin has his life changed forever into a varatable hell he is haunted by his past, blaming himself for catastrophy even as he is wrapped up in a plot to start the bigest war in history, and anchient magics long lost threaten to return.

@ourabouras

3 ай бұрын

I think it’s important to establish that this is a magical world at the start of the sentence, at first I thought it might be a contemporary piece. Also “life changed forever” is way too vague the reader needs a jumping off point like student/ baker/ prisoner as a grounding hook.

@endymon5240

10 күн бұрын

I know this is 3 months late, but does this help? "Young boy Ruin must learn to survive physical and mental conflict to save the world from ancient magic"

Here's my premise: Young boy Leithan dreams of becoming a griffin knight/rider and fighting against the pirates of the west, but during his journey he sees the true side of the crown and his lifelong beliefs are thrown through the window.

@Joshops31

3 ай бұрын

Character: Leithan Setting: West? Plot: Fight pirates, are we the baddies? Stakes: Not listed (at least not that I see. Don’t think I’d count getting rid of long-held beliefs would count given the seemingly worldly scope of the story as opposed to a small scale internal struggle kind of story) Sounds neat, just would recommend solidifying the setting and stakes

@lapridagaspar

3 ай бұрын

@@Joshops31 I couldn't quite fit the setting and the stakes. The setting would be a kingdom (called Gwendhir) where knights ride griffins, and their main threat are pirates. The stakes I'm not so sure how to define them. It certainly is about him having to go against everything he believed in. There are kind of two plots at once though, and maybe I should've included it. The other plot is about some kind of magic, and stopping a man whose hear is filled with darkness from using it for evil purposes (he is not part of the crown though). Seemed too complex for a premise haha

@lapridagaspar

3 ай бұрын

* whose heart is filled with darkness 🖤

@electra6821

3 ай бұрын

Nice. But maybe you could beef up the stakes a little. Disillusionment is compelling. Mayhem and death are more so.

@lapridagaspar

3 ай бұрын

@@electra6821 thanks for you input! In the actual story his life is certainly at risk! And so are the lives of many, if he fails both to stop the crown from their naughty business, and the dark guy from his purpose (I don't wanna reveal too much haha)! I should find a way to incorporate that into the premise!

When the island of Ayre is threatened by the Empire of Steel and Stone, the four young O'Riain brothers are given the strength and abilities of battle angels to save their homeland, but they quickly learn that with great power comes great enemies, and even greater temptations.

@mEmory______

3 ай бұрын

Good premise

@electra6821

3 ай бұрын

Niiicce.

@LosAnggraito

3 ай бұрын

Great syntax!

@ourabouras

3 ай бұрын

Intriguing, I like how contained the battle to save their homeland is (if that makes sense). Plus the evil empire is giving David vs Goliath vibes

@jennymunday7913

3 ай бұрын

Sounds epic!

I've been doing this since I started my novel and I works great. I do a lot of discovery writing so contradictions and retcons are tough, but by keeping a simple idea in mind of what the story is you can just go to town writing and slowly steer it back into focus. Works great with characters too. I give to each character 2 or 3 adjectives or nouns and that helps me write without guide at first, knowing that it'll be easier to steer everytjing back in the right direction.

Lajos Egri! The Art of Dramatic Writing. This book is all about premise and very helpful and enlightening. One example of premise: Ruthless ambition leads to its own destruction: Macbeth

@hungariangiraffe6361

3 ай бұрын

I did not expect to see someone recommending the work of a writer from my homeland, but it's a pleasent surprise for sure.

Could you please expand on this idea in a later video and help us distinguish between a premise and a logline?

My premise is imature compared with the Story Scale, but maybe simple it is the better it turns. - Descendants: The Astral Triplice - Premisse: When the Astral gods decided to parasitize Earth's natural phenomena and spread their descendants among mortals, they never imagined that an ancient banished evil coveted the same. Crawling through time, his mysterious ideals and repugnant acts reached unknown descendants and distorted their lives forever. Among them, Johdriel Zaine, a teenager drowning in grief for his family, felt such Astral Evil getting closer and closer. (I'm not a native english writer, if it feels strange, just some language casuality).

@electra6821

3 ай бұрын

This kind of blurb is almost always written in the present tense, so most your verbs should be in simple present, and any references to earlier events should be in simple past. Also, ditch all the "woulds." Hope this helps.

@jhon.k.3227

3 ай бұрын

@@electra6821 Thanks! I think it's now fixed, but above everything, thanks God that I write it on another language 😂, I'm so bad when it comes to English Grammar.

My furthest project, which is now in 3rd draft, started off as a short story series. I loved the story told, I decided I wanted to expand on it, and the characters. Now this short story has enough content for 4 books. All the while, I have 3 other main projects going too that I switch between.

This is excellent advice, and timely too! I'm a worldbuilder who's written a number of very short stories into my setting but i'm trying to write something a little longer and i'm still struggling to choose a conflict and stakes given the relatively peaceful setting, at least one that I have the requisite knowledge to write about!

@ourabouras

3 ай бұрын

Coming up with a Low Stakes Adventure is always an option, look at Legends and Lattes.

@mayw6571

3 ай бұрын

@@ourabouras That looks neat, thanks for the recommendation!

I have a few A young god finds himself at conflict with another, his people are being torn apart and tortured in a time before death he must find a way to release his people, he begins to use the power of chaos to achieve his goal. A child is born into a gang with superpowers and finds himself in a cycle of hatred until he and his friend stumble upon two kids fighting a cryptid, this pushes them into finding out about where there powers come from, while balancing gangs, school, and a hunter lifestyle. An alien finds herself in Mexico controled by gangs, she uses her powers make it safer but finds out its filled with the worst of humanity. A witch has her magic supressed by a foundation from birth because of her connection to a demon, she is then placed in a school for the supernatural where she must unravel the mystery of her family, while her adoptive mother is forced on her own deadly journey.

@mEmory______

3 ай бұрын

These are good concepts at their core, but need some work on the sentence structure.

@rochellestine

3 ай бұрын

You need to check out grammerly. You have a lot of run on sentences to say the least.

OMG. I've heard you make this essential point in several of your videos, but my notes overwhelmed demand-avoidant self has always asked "but WHY". Thank you so much for giving me a why to actually do the thing and potentially make my story better! :D

I’ve never really seriously creatively written before so perhaps a full length fantasy novel is a bit ambitious. But my idea in a sentence would be something like: A cutpurse, a sold whore, a mage hunter, and a prince set out on an unlikely journey to kill a king, but when a foreign prince invades Aukdera, the stakes are turned on their heads and impossible decisions will have to be made

I'll throw myself into the ring as well: When two teenagers with magical powers are thrown into each others' bodies, they must learn to grow as people to not only get their own lives back, but also save their loved ones from approaching calamity. It's a character + inciting incident + goal + stakes formula (or at least that's what I'm going for), that hopefully says enough about the plot while also showing that it's a character-focused story (with the setting admittedly being omitted other than "fantasy world").

@ourabouras

3 ай бұрын

What specifically threw them into each other’s bodies, and why can’t they use their magics to reverse the process?

I just finished the first draft of my novel, and have recently begun the editing process. Suddenly, I'm terrified, and worry my story, particularly my opening chapter, is not strong enough. I'm in a bit of a panic, but your videos always seem to help. Thanks, I appreciate you!

@jhon.k.3227

3 ай бұрын

Keep Up Friend! If even one person reads my first novel, then my world is already worth.

@TheDoomKnight

3 ай бұрын

​@@jhon.k.3227Thank you. I've always lived by "Write the story you want to read" and considered anyone else reading it a bonus. Thank you for reminding me of that. Good luck in your endeavors!

@jhon.k.3227

3 ай бұрын

​​@@TheDoomKnightBy the way, do you have the premise? I revised mine almost ten times after reading Donald Mass, and that video of Herne.

@TheDoomKnight

3 ай бұрын

@@jhon.k.3227 I believe so. I just posted it in the main comment thread.

@bethf1580

3 ай бұрын

I know the feeling. Editing is hard and scary. And even if your first chapter isn't strong enough yet, it will be (that's what editing is for ;] ). And don't forget to find good beta readers when you're ready. Good beta readers will want you to succeed and will give you the truth in ways that you need to hear it, which will make your story even stronger. Just be prepared for more editing after that. ;] You've got this!

Middle Grade, Low Stakes, Fantasy Adventure Nine year-old Rumi is all set to give her grandpa the best birthday present ever, when a thieving not-squirrel swipes her gift and dives headfirst through a golden portal into the fantastical kingdom of [Slumberland]. It’s a race against time to track down the culprit and get back in time for her grandpa’s party, all while avoiding the authorities.

@Jed_Herne

3 ай бұрын

That's a solid premise. Does a great job of establishing the tone & genre (portal fantasy). It is a little long. See if you can trim it and cut non-essential details.

@ourabouras

3 ай бұрын

@@Jed_Herne Rumi was all set to surprise her grandpa with his birthday present, when a thieving not-squirrel stole it and leapt through a golden portal into the kingdom of [Slumberland]. Now it’s a race against time to track down the culprit and get back to her grandpa’s party.

@Iso20227

3 ай бұрын

@@ourabouras I’m personally a huge fan for portal fantasy and dream-like realities. (Which is what I gathered from “Slumberland”.) It sounds a bit to me like “Alice in Wonderland”, where Alice followed a rabbit through a portal into the dream-like reality of “Wonderland”. Even still, I’m very interested to see where this goes. Keep it up. 👍

@ourabouras

3 ай бұрын

@@Iso20227 Excellent. The plot definitely pulls from portal world stories like Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan, and Adventures of Little Nemo in Slumberland. I’m going for a low stakes fantasy where a happy-go-lucky kid gets to go on an adventure swashbuckling with sky-pirates, jousting in the Queen’s tourney, and stealing a dragon egg, but that was all a bit too much detail for the premise.

@Iso20227

3 ай бұрын

@@ourabouras sounds like my kind of story. I’m always prefer high stakes, where there are huge dangers and obstacles to overcome, lives are in jeopardy, and the perils that the characters face often seem insurmountable. However, that doesn’t mean that low stakes is bad at all. You can consider me very interested now.

Good idea, and thank you for giving examples from well-known books. Being able to crystallize the premise is a skill that's useful for cutting excess verbiage from the manuscript as well, and can serve as the blurb for a published book. By the way, as a proofreader, I noticed the misspelling of Harkonnen's (possessive), which should be Harkonnens (plural) @ 4:50. For some reason, it's become a common error in the past 10 years.

@LosAnggraito

3 ай бұрын

I've noticed the whole 'apostrophe for plural words' thing as well! It's really prominent among Gen Z'ers for some reason. Do you have any idea why that's happening?

@Jed_Herne

3 ай бұрын

Thanks for the pick up!

As someone who has sticky notes for my sticky notes, this video was a revelation. Thanks, Jed!

My current struggle is that I sat down to write a relatively short story, but have over 50 characters to keep track of so far.

Perfect timing! Thanks for the video, Jed :)

Thank you for all your tipps so far!

I have literally just started doing this and it is SO HELPFUL

Another great video! Keep up the hard work Jed, these really help! Blessings!

Thank you for the upload.

Thanks so much for your content Jed!

Thanks for another great video Jed! Just wanted to say your visual shots and designs were also very engaging and helpful.

Great tip, Jed! I love the hour glass model for outlines.

Awesome stuff, I usually do something similar as an ‘elevator pitch’, but this is much clearer and gives more direction. Keep it up

Pretty sure this video just saved my novel. Going into the second draft now so I can make it look like I knew what I was doing the whole time.

I'm trying to write my first novel which is a fantasy. You're videos have given some really good advice that I feel like will help me continue writing it. Thanks for all the tips 👍

Steps for a premise: 1. Identify the core of the story 2. Add stakes 3. Include the setting (if relevant), and apply the principle of "Killing Your Darlings" aka "Don't try to shove all the cool details into your premise" 4. Keep it concise (4 key things: Setting, Character, Plot, Stakes. One Harry Potter book combined Plot + Stakes) 5. A commenter below named @xoso599 mentioned about how your story should have a "fun factor". Quote: "I'd like to suggest that part of the premise should include the 'fun' factor. For Jade city I would say the fun part is "jade grants superhuman abilities". For Joanne's book the fact that magic is real. For Dune it is that you can "move to another planet". Without the fun, you have a story that could be very good, but they aren't fantasy or fantastical even if they have a fantasy setting." 10:00 The premise is but a tool for yourself as a writer 10:19 Stories with multiple POV 13:34 Hourglass Method of Outlining 15:36 A premise can raise questions (very useful)

My system novel premise might suck: Kazuki gets transmigrated as a snake in a dungeon where a big hawk is terrorizing it. Although he had the Snake Evolution Line System with him, he gets himself killed by the hawk. Driven by not wanting to die or vengeance, he unlocks the Domination System that allows the user to dominate anything........ It's a lot since it will be like a light novel series.

@Rai_Arashi

3 ай бұрын

Could be an interesting light novel

Thanks for this tip!

In Google Docs, your “sticky note” can be the summary section to the left center of your screen on a laptop.

@absolutelycitron1580

3 ай бұрын

Omg tysm!!! This comment should be pinned. I can't be trusted with knowing where my outline sketchbook is, let alone a tiny little sticky note

When a nobody accidently passes a test created by a magician to recruit a champion, she will have to face her old prejudices to find out what defines a chosen one and what the world really needs. What do you think of that?

@mEmory______

3 ай бұрын

Who is 'she', and what are the reasons for a champion to be selected? What are the stakes?

@electra6821

3 ай бұрын

I have to agree with mEmory. There's little sense of conflict or stakes, here. We also get nothing about the setting.

@ourabouras

3 ай бұрын

Needs a setting so the reader can understand whether magic is considered secret or mundane, also specify what her prejudices are.

@lindildeev5721

3 ай бұрын

​​​@@mEmory______ "She" is the magician, Morgana of Avalon, and she has spent more than a millennia trying to put an end to all the injustice she sees in the world. I didn't talk about the setting because it doesn't happen in some magical world but here and now, in Cornwall. The problem is that she thinks she knows everything about the human race while she has spent the last hundred years in Avalon and never travelled beyond Germany and Spain.

@lindildeev5721

3 ай бұрын

@@mEmory______ "She" is the magician and she's trying to restore justice in the world. The problem is, she's very old, with high expectations, particular beliefs and extreme methods most people wouldn't approve. And for the setting, it's a small town in Cornwall at present days.

Can it save my relationship too?

@keanancupido

3 ай бұрын

The power of sticky notes has limits I'm afraid😢

@asdasdasdasd7483

3 ай бұрын

I would say it can definitely help. The point of this system is that you're having trouble staying in line. You write without following a strick path and the sticky note is short and vague, but concise enough to push you back on track. If you detect that you get angry too fast, too often, maybe a sticky not that says "anger" is enough to remind you that you do this often and it could help you get you emotions in check before it's too late. Imho relationships end not because of the fight, but because of the lack of desire to fix what was broken during the fight.

@TheDoomKnight

3 ай бұрын

They can if used properly! Use sticky notes to remind yourself why you care for your partner, and use them to leave little notes for them to find. I hope for the best for you. Good luck!

The first of a 3.5 book series I'm working on is: Donna, a perfectly normal teenage girl, hides her urges to raise the dead from her paladin brother while seeking to unlock the memories a storybook witch stole from her. The squeak-uels are: After being tricked by a witch into another world, necromancer Donna is trapped in the soul of all-American girl Sarah, who comes of age during the 80s and couldn't be more different from her. Learning that her best friend, Sarah, has become the target of a storybook witch, Donna pushes herself to undo the curse that has locked her memories away of a sinister power that could save the people she loves at the risk of driving them away. Earth girl Sarah is settling into her new life in a world of common, everyday magic when reminders of her old life start appearing, leading her to make a disturbing discovery about her role in this world.

Late to the party but I appreciate the thoughtful suggestions as always. I'm nearing the finish line on my first novel and I most solemnly admit that organization is my greatest weakness. Hrm. Let's give this a try. Sensitive and studious, Ruqayya LoVrenn can scarcely comprehend the impossibilities of true magic in the Riselands until circumstances beyond her control force her to embrace natural talents alongside other gifted individuals as she learns that anyone has the power to change the world. Probably too vague on the conflict …

Late to this vid but here’s my premise! I’m very open to feedback “Khavonian princess by day, vigilante by night, Hanora, is willing to attain-by any and all means-what’s best for the people of her Kingdom, but when she’s met with the costs of true reformation, she’s set off on a mission that could have her questioning even her own morality.”

Premise is like what drive you to create the story and select which scenes are important or not.

When I was working fr so many other writers, I ALWAYS told them to define the premise of your story. Just a sentence. Yet they never listened, and so many other projects were cancelled because of that...

This was your most helpful video to date. Thank you! -- My wife and I are collaborating on a fantasy novel, which has the potential to become a series. With your help in this video, we have honed our premise. ... "This is the origin story of the Diplomat and his Priestess, which began at a quiet border village, where a struggle between twin brothers shatters a centuries-old status quo of no contact between ancient adversaries." ... Sticky Note Challenge accepted and completed, just the way you showed us how to do it.

@Jed_Herne

3 ай бұрын

You're welcome! Glad to help.

A bit late to the comment-section party but... This was some awesome advice. I will take a plunge and post what I am brewing currently: "In a war-torn realm of Harrendale, shadow-witch Eleyna wants to become a leader of mercenaries, guided by a prophetic vision, while wrestling with the powers consuming her and attempting to come to terms with the loss of her child."

I’d love to see you make a Skool community Jed, it would be great to connect with other writers 👍🏼

This is fine, for a single character POV story or for a story that doesn;t have disconnected arcs that will later come together.

@sethkeown5965

3 ай бұрын

Maybe focus on one character at a time. Different premices for each POV.

@ourabouras

3 ай бұрын

You’re gonna have a really hard time selling a story if you can’t boiled it down into a simple elevator pitch, even epics like GoT and LotR can be boiled down into palatable blurbs.

Here's my premise: On the Peregrine Plains at the edge of civilization, a group of friends haunted by past troubles struggles to build a store supplying the adventurers who come to the area and a place for themselves in the world.

Awesome

My book is a one shot with potential lead ins for continuation but just set as a stand alone as is. I managed that by having the story roll quickly from character intro to inciting incident which then quickly revealed stakes, those stakes are such that they get neutralized by stories end but leave those responsible in a bigger picture perspective free to do more inciting incidents, if publishers show interest in more. I'm not reaching for over the top worldbuilding in an epic saga fueling novel. More working to keep it modest in simply trying to express a perspective on traditionalists and progressives as well as expiring lessons from lived experiences through a fantasy novel medium...

Man, making a premise is NOT easy when you have a three-book series. And I know the youtube comment section isn't exactly the best place to get feedback, but maybe I can get one or two bits of valuable feedback on some of the premises I'm working on! "Having a monstrous spirit is punishable by death in the regressive, magical city of Gadale. Vee, a meek but well-meaning elf, must embark on a journey of self-discovery to prove that he is not a monster." "When Vee's monstrous spirit is discovered, the governor of Gadale forces him on a journey of self-discovery to prove he has the right to exist. If he doesn't, he'll lose everything that gives his life meaning." Those are possibilities for the series as a whole- but then the first book has a slightly narrower plot to focus on, as it's just act 1 of 3. "The "Winged Titan" has attacked the magical city of Gadale. When its citizens are tasked with hunting this monster down for a reward, Vee must do everything in his power to keep his identity secret." or the slightly more personal, and possibly stronger premise of: "Vee's friends have teamed up to collect the reward for the capture of the "Winged Titan," a giant monster that attacked the city. They don't know he's been under their noses all along, or that execution awaits his capture." Looking for serious responses only, since I assume there's quite a few writers watching Jed's videos!

@fraolekassahun6597

3 ай бұрын

ITS NICE BUT IT SOUNDS MORE LIKE A SHORT STORY THAN A FANTASY NOVEL YOU COULD MAKE IT THAT HE GOT CURSED INTO VEING THE WINGED TITTAN

@VT-Scribbles

3 ай бұрын

@@fraolekassahun6597 Ahh but you see, there's a mystery surrounding how he became the Winged Titan, and I can't give that away in the premise ;3 [Also if you had this premise on a trio of books, you'd already have the metaknowledge that this seemingly simple premise spans 3 books]

Recently had to split a novel in two because I relaxed it was too complex and convoluted… after I was alway through the story😅 I just finished the now first single book and am in my post-book-break getting ready to finish the second one that’s now half done and quite disorganized after being copped from another story🤪 would have appreciated past me more if I had followed this advice six months ago!!

“In the world of Hernes, Young Man, Kody, dreams to become a sorcerer just like his dad. After failing his first attempt, he succeeds on his second go and participates in a sorcery school where he is forced to confront his purpose, ideals, and dreams against the Sworoes.”

About the premise: if you can define it in the length of a tweet (number of characters used) then you have a good starting point for a story. I'm NOT the author of the above advice. It's something someone suggested in an article I read about plotting stories. I thought it was important enough I wrote it down. Now I work on the premise until the initial concept is short enough to "be tweeted out" (also saves you later with advertising copywriting when you keep each version), and from this I'd create another set of "tweet sized premise" for the beginning, middle and end of the story. Repeat this as a beginning, middle and end for the beginning, then repeat for the middle and the end. You now have a nine-part "premise" (each tweet length) to keep your whole story on track. This is how I've done stuff for the past five years (which is when the "tweet method" was read about).

Still very early in the writing stages, but here it goes. Once a sickly shy youth, silent Solomon aims to live long enough to be his tribe’s healer and raise a family, however a life debt makes him a champion of the Guardian Trees as they protect the world known as Titania from the power of the fallen Titans.

Frist book ever writing. Premise A Boy (Zeek) who hates dragons and a young Dragon (Asani) who hates two legged growing up on an island. Each thrusted into a missions that bring head on into one another and both of them must find the power to overcome their differences and forgive the sins of the past and to work together to save them selves and the island form a powerful being that one of them is all too familiar with (Deava) Any feed back welcome.

Thanks again for your work Jed. I always learn a lot thanks to you. :D This is the premise of my story : "In a world where magic is believed to be real, a young harpy scientist named Naura restores the lost knowledge of a fallen and forgotten civilization in the quest for a cure across the celestial islands to save his dearest friend." The stakes are not necessarily visible but I think we can guess them by asking questions. - First of all, is bringing back this lost knowledge really a good thing? After all, it belonged to an extinct civilization. A question about the balance between technology and nature which I find relevant. - We can also see the contrast between a world described as magical and the science that Naura brings. What is the truth of this world? - And lastly we can find the notion of friendship. How far are we ready to help our loved ones. Could this determination not be flawed? I would be curious to know your opinions on these interpretations.

@electra6821

3 ай бұрын

Okay, I'm confused. A harpy is, by definition, a magical, mythical being. So why does the harpy reject belief in magic and then embrace science? Is that an inner conflict for Naura? That could be really interesting, but it isn't made clear, here.

@Guany

3 ай бұрын

@@electra6821 Haha, yes, it does seem peculiar at first glance. Here, harpies are simply species endowed with intelligence similar to humans, their existence arising solely from the evolutionary process. In a world where celestial islands are the only lands, evolution favored the preservation of a species capable of flight. Yet, you're not entirely off the mark by mentioning a potential internal conflict. You raise excellent questions. To answer, the story will never explicitly reveal whether the universe is truly magical or governed by physical laws. That's why Naura remains in doubt. The first-person narrative through his eyes allows the reader to choose their final interpretation. And if Naura rejected belief in magic in favor of science, it's the result of his keen observation of the world, preferring logical explanations and tangible evidence based on scientific methodology. ^^ If it's still not clear enough, a rewrite of the premise might be necessary. : ) It seems well-condensed, but perhaps the formulation could be improved. You brought up another good point! :p Thank you for your response and the questions you raised.

A premise for my story: In the cave-world of Emerga, aspiring celestial ecologist Felika Shain must work with her sworn enemies, confront her deepest-held beliefs, and piece together lost history, lest human society violently destroy itself.

@ourabouras

3 ай бұрын

Society destroying itself feels too nebulous, what is it specifically about being a celestial ecologist that can protect humanity?

@Zeta264

3 ай бұрын

@@ourabouras Basically the “celestial ecosystem” is an ecosystem in which humans are like livestock (unbeknownst to them) being farmed for their wrath, which can be used to produce magic, which runs the system. When humans unleash great wrath, a “star”(its not really the same thing in this world) forms from the power, engulfing them. I agree that my premise should be more specific.

Bro outed me in the first minute of the video

My premise: "In a world of chaos and disarray, brother and sister save the day."

My premise - Ryuka, a canyon guide, is hired to join a party of ragtag adventurers on an adventure, though he’s paid to to this he is unsure how far he’s willing to go for them. Be as honest as you want with judging

My Novel, is a light novel and may not sound interesting to everyone. When gates started to appear on earth no one had expected it, but no one expected the creatures that came out of them, 63 years after the gates began forming humanity is near its end with few settlements left, John leaves on a journey to try to stop the gates from forming. The major city’s have already fallen and any government had fallen 13 years after the Gates’s began to form. Amoung all of this John is struggling with a new power he was given, in the end John will have to make a decision that will decide the fate of the world

The premise could be described as the story's seed.

This is my premise! “Lee Arryn, a thieving pirate, is revived after death as a prophetic knight to defend the realm from a seclusive vampire society… and their seemingly infinite web of influence“

thunder heist has the best cover

I feel called out in that beginning 😅

If you haven't seen it yet, Dune part 2 was good. I enjoyed it anyway. I have never read the books though, but my husband is a huge fan of the books and that's why I went to see it. Lol. 😅

Great Vid Jed, do you find that you use that sticky note to help make your elevator pitches too? It was great to meet you the other day btw, I’ll be having a write tomorrow morning if you’re keen to join?

Premise versus logline? I realize the logline is written for the potential audience, so the purpose is different. But they end up the same thing, don't they?

@unicorntomboy9736

3 ай бұрын

In my creative writing classes in college, I was taught that longlines are more so a specific film and TV thing that sells the premise of a film or TV series that you use to pitch your idea to producers and a production company i.e an elevator pitch

"The land of Tanor is rife with dragon hunters, and a young man must face his greatest fears to protect those he loves and save the dragons from extinction."

WIP: “Whisperer.” PREMISE: To live somewhat quietly in the chaotic otome game that she was reborn into, the recently transferred Desideria becomes the new tamer for the heroine’s family-the very grand ducal family rumored to be crazy.

If im writing a fantasy, thriller where the story starts off in our world. The setting is a post-apocalyptic scene, where humanity is living in different Kingdoms. The main character wants to eliminate all of these things => he needs to find a gate somewhere on earth and go into the actual fantasy world where these monsters that rushed earth and few other creatures live. My question is about how much of the story should happen on Earth and in that otherworld to actually be a fantasy and more enjoyable (except for the confrontation with the main antagonist and a final "powerup" for the mc and his friendgroup i dont plan doing much in that world. But i feel like the worldbuilding could be a bit exegerrated there)

@Keaeh

3 ай бұрын

Sorry for my english mistakes, i was quite rushed when writing it and my primary language isnt english either.

@Celeborn93

3 ай бұрын

I guess it depends on what the tone and atmosphere is, and what you're going for. I personally prefer a more realistic, grounded - (in this case, it would be your post apocalyptic Earth) - setting, with some magical elements spicing it up. And if i delve into the harder magical elements such as a different realm/world where the fantastical is much more pronounced, i tend to keep it limited. (the spirit realm in Avatar TLA is a great example of this) But it's of course entirely up to you how you balance out your world, and it's obviously going to be very different from how i would do it. You seem to enjoy the more fantastical/magical settings, which is why i guess you created this "monster world" to begin with - so i suggest you try to evaluate how contrasting it would be to the normal world, and how much time is needed to be spent there, and how important it is for the plot to even be/get there. This isn't supposed to be great advice, if you can even call it advice, just my initial thoughts.

Bronwen just wants to retire, but the Church forces him to take one final contract. He’s legendary among the Liturgy for his convictions and code, but what will he do if this final contract clashes with his strong morals?

So this is the premise I have: Arden Emerson Valdemar has been given a second chance at life in a world defined by magic and monsters, but will he become the savior or destroyer of his new world.

Türkçe altyazı ekleyebilir misin? Kanal inanılmaz

I've been working on my premise/blurb. What do you think? The Doom Knight - A religious group of paladins and templars known as the Obsidian Order strives to maintain peace within the city of Nor'easter, while also protecting the source of their God's blessings from the demons determined to claim it for themselves. When a mission into Hell goes awry, one paladin is betrayed and becomes trapped within, and struggles to survive the worst environment imaginable in a quest for vengeance. What do you guys think?

@jhon.k.3227

3 ай бұрын

Quite cool that you present both the General Plot and the Personal Plot of the knight.

@TheDoomKnight

3 ай бұрын

@@jhon.k.3227 Thanks! Hopefully the actually story lives up to it!

My premise: In a world dominated by magical technology, a grisly triple murder re-opens a four-year-old cold case, forcing a detective and his associates to unravel a conspiracy, confront an ancient threat, and question the true nature of justice. Thoughts? (Interestingly, there are four POV characters, and the detective is *not* one of them)

@electra6821

3 ай бұрын

Great. I really like that you worked in a theme--the true nature of justice.

@Celeborn93

3 ай бұрын

I like it. If this detective has some specific or important trait that is relevant to the story, you could also consider weaving it in.

Guess I'll give it a shot: The true immortal Orion must do his best to halt the ever-growing Expanse. It's million year long growth threatens to infinitely consume all around it and he alone remains to stop it, the last failsafe.

Is there a list of all the books behind you?

My narratives maybe considered fractured to some containing different elements yet those things are simply objects in their war for survival. (Premise: War & survival) Centuries of conflict. Hatred passed down from the bloodlines into the next generations. Some sins can't be forgiven. Defeated & banished creatures casted away. Whilst the top races hold back the urge to slit each others throats on sight. Views of the victors perceptions of the survivalist. See the world through the eyes of both. Wanting & wishing the best lives for their people. To do more than just survive. In any world so vast leaders will have different means of completing their tasks. To all those that have experienced war whom wish to triumph wanted to thrive not just survive. What is useful to one could be useless to another.

@benboxer2776

3 ай бұрын

In a constant state of survival. Traumatic experiencesare bound to happen allowing the writer into infuse their own trauma into the pages. Hence turning trauma to art would be the true premise. The face behind the mask so to speak.Therapy for both the reader & the writer. For those who have experienced similar things you realize how relieving it is to find someone who has also survived or is currently surviving the same... (War & Survival - Allows a person to transform & bring to life - Trauma to art)

Caught in the war between sky and ground, Narra discovers she wields bounding power without a proper ritual and begins seeing haunting memories of Vastemorians who died on The Bridging. She must find a way to end her curse and save her havian brother before the next Bridging undertakes while the enemies track her down.

@ourabouras

3 ай бұрын

Too many fantasy words/concepts for me to follow along. If you were to write this premise with plain descriptors would it be engaging?

@user-ym1zs8sd2y

3 ай бұрын

@@ourabourasOkay lemme try again toning down my concepts, or at least clarifying it. Caught in the war between two sides of people, Narra discovers she wields power without partaking in the way to acquire it and begins seeing haunting memories of her people who died in a disastrous phenomenon called "The Bridging". She must find a way to end her nightmares and save her featheredman-brother before the next Bridging undertakes.

I’m brazilian, Is it possible to me to participate in this bootcamp?

heres my premise / logline (cause it is for an animated short) An insecure girl studies magic from a godly mentor to confront her nightmare monster in the hopes of returning to her human world.

Here goes nothing then; On the unforgiving Twin Continents where magic is tied to worship of the gods, two siblings uncover a threat that looms over their people, forcing them to undergo a journey marked with sacrifices, uneasy alliances, and the cost of morality in the face of hatred and one's inner darkness.

There are exceptions, no? I feel like there are stories, where it's virtually impossible to write it down on one sticky note. What are your thoughts about that?

@loreandmorechannel

3 ай бұрын

So true, but I feel like the sticky note can be a great guideline for new writers

@nox4298

3 ай бұрын

Especially with a series like Malazan or ASOIAF. Good for a new author though, although I suppose it depends on how much is going on and how ambitious the book/series is.

@jasminv8653

3 ай бұрын

To me that sounds like a bit of an issue with recognising what a premise or theme is. Say you had to summarize the entire main movie timeline of star wars - right, a lot of stuff happens in a lot of places, and a lot of things make less sense the more you try to think about them. But at their core, isn't each story basically about 'someone down on their luck trying to survive in the push and pull of good and evil, in space, and there is magic in the universe'

@12thDecember

3 ай бұрын

@@jasminv8653 I like your summary; it tracks with one I found online: "Luke Skywalker joins forces with a Jedi Knight, a cocky pilot, a Wookiee and two droids to save the galaxy from the Empire's world-destroying battle station, while also attempting to rescue Princess Leia from the mysterious Darth Vader."

The Queen Who Spun Straw Into Gold: After performing a miracle that saves her kingdom, Daisy must figure out a way to escape the King who has designs on her but will the Man in Black’s price in exchange for her freedom be too high?

I turn my head to look at my sticky notes. At least I already have these done

here's MY premise!: "In a world where like people are terrorised everyday by Phantasmic beings of ectoplasmic origin, some rare and exceptional people are born with special psychic powers.. these exceptional few take a special exam to apply to a most special profession. They are called.. Ectomen! They who hunt ghosts!"

@electra6821

3 ай бұрын

Maybe it's just me, but this feels a little too fuzzy. So how are people terrorized? Are they eaten, driven mad, just inconvenienced? What do the Ectomen do with the ghosts? Reform them? Rekill them? Also, the reference to taking a certain test is not crucial information. It just distracts. Otherwise, this is an interesting premise.

@ellie7252

3 ай бұрын

@@electra6821 hmm I see, thank you! that's helpful. I'll try to reform the premise description based on your feedback, dude! also, thanks!! I appreciate it :)

My book begins with a prologue, a flashforward specifically, that features a torture sequence, with the protagonist mutilating the antagonist's three underlings/minions, all during a dark solar eclipse Does that sound like a gripping, emotional opening or not? The goal for the protagonist is to find out where her uncle, the tyrant king who usurped the throne, is hiding. Only we find that she already knows where he is, and is doing it for pleasure and enjoyment, since they tried to kill her as a child

@xoso599

3 ай бұрын

I would say is it gripping or not would depend on your reader and what their level for being shocked sits at. Without knowing your protagonist their actions are not being done in any context other than general human experience. What I mean is if I told you an African Warlord was torturing people to learn something, you would say well that's a day of the week that ends in the letter y. If I tell you a soccer mom in Utah has chained a human trafficer to her mini van and a tree and is slowly pulling his limbs off to learn what he did to her daughter, that's wildly different and the only context I've added is occupation and location. The problem with the flashforward I think is that it sets the understanding of the character that the readers have to the flash point so everything leading up to those events is always going to be weighed against the knowledge that we know what happens. It works for movies because we have actors to watch and humans acting trigger all our evolutionary clues to believe them. Breaking Bad did this a few times showing us the outcome but then pulled us along through the story to show how we got to the point and why that's messed up. You may get more use out of the flash forward if you leave the actions taken and their outcome out of the opening. That way as the events of the story build up to that moment you can show the readers what the cost of that action will be, why they are as shocking, gripping and emotional to the character. Then when your story gets to that point the readers get the pay off of the event you showed in the beginning happening, all the build up to the action that gives it context. Plus the details you provided in the start having their full meaning explained. Is a dark solar eclipse special with extra mean or mystical power in this setting? Also my own personal shock factor is extremely high so things that make other people uncomfortable or upset don't for me.

@unicorntomboy9736

3 ай бұрын

@@xoso599 The setting takes place in a world of eternal night and darkness, where Elvens worship the moon, referring it as a deity known as the All-Mother Goddess. I even came up with my version of a creation myth, about two dragons who fell madly in love with each other, but ultimately ended their own lives together, birthing the All-Mother Goddess i.e death gives way to life, resulting in the world we see in the novel The book is a retelling of The Lion King, and by extension a retelling of Shakespeare's Hamlet or Macbeth to a small degree, but it's set in a gothic horror-esque dark fantasy setting with Elvens as the main characters. The moon deity and dragon creation story is my version of The Circle of Life from that film

@xoso599

3 ай бұрын

@@unicorntomboy9736 Just one minor warning, you said that your protag was torturing the underlings to find information, but in a twist they already had that information. Make sure not to lie to the reader about that point. At the part of the story where the MC finds out the location of the uncle, the readers will now be holding seemingly conflicting facts; We know (think we know) that the MC will torture 3 people for this information. We actually know that the MC already has this information. The pay off of the twist is only satisfying to the readers if everything shown was true and accurate. For example the second time you watch The 6th Sense you realize that everything shown is accurate to the twist when you are watching with an eye to those details. If a reader flips back to the prologue make sure nothing is stated by the narrative that isn't true, just misleading because we the reader assumed things.

@unicorntomboy9736

3 ай бұрын

@@xoso599 The prologue is just a truncated version of the final chapter of the book, so it will return later on

I am working on what is to be the first book in a trilogy and my sticky note says "5 former Earthlings join forces with the crew of the Garbahge, a inter-galactic salvage vessel, to find a new planet for Earthlings to call home all the while facing the Axis forces." Any advice on this would be appreciated.

@Celeborn93

3 ай бұрын

"Garbahge" ... made me chuckle

(Arms full of sticky-notes) oh... It's what's ON the sticky notes that's important... 😅😭

A woman from the modern world gets trapped inside the body of a villainess and must prevent the original host from overtaking her mind and destroying her sense of self.

You should tell us what your favourite book of all time is...

Can that sticky note save the world after it vanished?.

@sarahdilling9238

3 ай бұрын

You could put the premise on your computer background