These Toxic Habits Hurt You & Your Fam [Part 4]

How are #stereotypes affecting our kids? What about toxic masculinity? Gender norms? Outdated assumptions? || This episode was supported by Nebula. Join and support me and other creators: nebula.tv/videos/tracedominguez-3-stereotypes-that-hurt-kids-and-how-to-stop-them ✨sources & more below the fold ✨
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⏰ SERIES DESCRIPTION
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Dads exist in every culture and in every animal on earth and yet, in humans they're not often studied, and sometimes ignored entirely. In this series, I dug into the importance of dads in human relationships. I learned that #Dads need to be present, engaged, and involved. How having a dad around affects you (for better or worse). That meant exploring what it means to be a dad, whether the kids same-sex parents are any different than those of different-sex parents, how children physiologically change their parents brain, and whether toxic #masculinity and machismo is harming your kids.
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📚CHAPTERS
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00:00 The best intro I have ever done
00:49 American Dad vs Yondu Udonta
02:32 Attachment Theory
04:01 One Provider Stereotype
06:55 There's no such thing as "less of a man"
08:56 How is Canada doing?
10:47 The Sick Social Cycle
12:19 Here's a BIG solution for Dads (and every…
13:29 Some Paid Family Leave benefits
17:13 I don't know if this series is going to do well
These science communication videos take a long time to research and put together. I do everything myself in my spare time! Support my Patreon to help me make more videos and get a few perks along the way: patreon.com/tracedominguez
(Every new patron causes a litany of excited squeals. Thank you for all your support 💕)
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🤯SERIES LINKS: #DadParents
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PART 1 Do Dads Even Matter? kzread.info/dash/bejne/pIaqyaSCk7jKoLA.html
PART 2 Same-Sex Parenting kzread.info/dash/bejne/omWHz9mTZNazpKw.html
PART 3 Babies Change Your Brain kzread.info/dash/bejne/Z2FlqKmxo6yvhZM.html
PART 4 Is Machoism Hurting Your Kids? kzread.info/dash/bejne/qKSmzsGhltXNc7Q.html
Join my Patreon and support content you love
(☞゚ヮ゚)☞ patreon.com/tracedominguez
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👾👾👾 FIND ME ON SOCIAL
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🐤:: tracedominguez
📷:: tracedominguez
👴🏻:: official.tracedom…
🎮:: twitch.tv/mrtraced
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📚📚📚 SOURCES
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Caring for infants is associated with increased reproductive success for male mountain gorillas
www.nature.com/articles/s41598-018-33380-4
Socioecological theory predicts that male parenting among mammals should be rare due to the large payoffs of prioritizing mating effort over parenting. Although these predictions are generally met, in some promiscuous primate species males overcome this by identifying their offspring, and providing benefits such as protection and resource access.
Bowlby's Evolutionary Theory of Attachment
labs.psychology.illinois.edu/~rcfraley/attachment.htm
The theory of attachment was originally developed by John Bowlby (1907 - 1990), a British psychoanalyst who was attempting to understand the intense distress experienced by infants who had been separated from their parents.
THE ONE WITH THE THREE KINGS (*Britney's toxic music plays*)
Does Adherence to Masculine Norms Shape Fathering Behavior?
onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jomf.12476
Fathers who more closely adhere to masculine norms are less involved in instrumental and expressive parenting and are more likely to engage in harsh discipline than fathers who are less masculine.
Fathers’ Paternity Leave-Taking and Children’s Perceptions of Father-Child Relationships in the United States
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7030161/
The Sick Social Cycle (this was created by someone from my undergrad and I took this EXACT "workshow" when I was learning about it!)
www.slideshare.net/joshuapelton/sick-punish
In escaping a perpetrator's aversive behavior, the victim unintentionally reinforces that aversive behavior.
A fresh look at paternity leave: Why the benefits extend beyond the personal
www.mckinsey.com/business-functions/people-and-organizational-performance/our-insights/a-fresh-look-at-paternity-leave-why-the-benefits-extend-beyond-the-personal
Fathers who take leave help their partners, their families, and themselves. In this era of employee mental-health challenges, companies should take notice.
A National Paid Leave Program Would Help Workers, Families
www.cbpp.org/research/economy/a-national-paid-leave-program-would-help-workers-families
Providing new parents with paid time off to care for newborn or recently adopted children contributes to healthy development, improves maternal health, and enhances families’ economic security.
Hey, thanks for watching! I hope you found this edutainment edutaining. 😊
Music by Epidemic Sound: epidemicsound.com/creator
Love you, #nerdfam! Stay #curious!

Пікірлер: 85

  • @lexicalgap5191
    @lexicalgap51912 жыл бұрын

    It's almost like fathers should be parents and not just sources of income!

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    RIGHT?

  • @KRAFTOMEEZY
    @KRAFTOMEEZY2 жыл бұрын

    I was 100% fired last month for taking 10 mins off to put my son in his car seat each morning. Lost health insurance for my whole family smh

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    Sounds like we need a new plan

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    Also I’m sorry that happened. This country doesn’t really value employees just “job creators” 🙄

  • @NotesByNiba
    @NotesByNiba2 жыл бұрын

    chapter 1's title is too accurate i am floored

  • @ursaltydog
    @ursaltydog2 жыл бұрын

    It was sooo sweet to see Rafael.. and he yawned at his dad.. ;)

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    HE IS TOO CUTE I DIE

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    Except I can’t die. I have responsibilities now

  • @ursaltydog

    @ursaltydog

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@TraceDominguez You betcha! Lots of meditation now.. :) I'm happy that you and your partner are taking time off.. It's not only important for you dads, but also him. And I can tell he's used to your smell as he looked up at you.. ;)

  • @maxwell4991
    @maxwell49912 жыл бұрын

    So happy I found this gem in my recommended

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thanks Lynn 💜

  • @ursaltydog
    @ursaltydog2 жыл бұрын

    And by supporting dads being present, engaged and involved, in the end it makes better social and psychologically adjusted adult citizens in our world to contend with... It makes a better society from the ground up... We wonder what's wrong with kids these days who turn up to be monsters.. that's it in a nutshell..

  • @CaptainScarfish

    @CaptainScarfish

    2 жыл бұрын

    Agreed with you right up until you said "these days". Deadbeat dads have existed since dads existed.

  • @ursaltydog

    @ursaltydog

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@CaptainScarfish We're experiencing more violence from the last few generations who have grown up due to fathers not being involved all the way up to outright spousal and child abuse. That's a large part in why we're witnessing an upward trend in crime. That's what I meant by "these days"...

  • @a-aron2276
    @a-aron22762 жыл бұрын

    Unreal, dude congratulations again on becoming a dad, and good job for your wife/ fiance. I hope it went smoothly. This has been a great mini series too btw👍🏽 now go be a dad, and happy New year not that it's not going to be 🙂 little Rafi D will be proud looking back on this series. If that could be his nickname it'd be awesome😛 I honestly don't know if you recognise my name at this point but I almost feel like an acquaintance at this stage, been watching your videos since DNews days and man it's mad to see lives develope. Anyway Good luck with everything and we'll see you whenever you're free, Happy parenting.

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thanks A-A Ron!

  • @petiteflower5259
    @petiteflower52592 жыл бұрын

    That baby is looking at you like you are the greatest thing in the universe...and he is right!

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    💖💖💖

  • @Ddddddddddd381
    @Ddddddddddd3812 жыл бұрын

    Trace how the hell did you manage to make this high quality series with a newborn? Why aren’t you exhausted lol

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    I AM 😭

  • @jesthered7966
    @jesthered79662 жыл бұрын

    Fantastic series Trace, I hope you do more of these as you learn to be a Dad!

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    thank you! I hope so

  • @scottsutherland
    @scottsutherland2 жыл бұрын

    I'm glad you took parental leave, my friend! You're doing great, and this is a very cool video series. Congrats on both! See you on Twitter until you get back! :)

  • @KevinAbma
    @KevinAbma Жыл бұрын

    So stoked for you, Rafael, and your fam. #HeroDad. You're a model father. Stay awesome!!!

  • @KevinAbma

    @KevinAbma

    Жыл бұрын

    Also, the Canadian stereotype you described is correct. Parental leave is supported and legally protected. I love my kids and enjoy the time I have with them.

  • @NotHPotter
    @NotHPotter2 жыл бұрын

    This video is an absolute grand slam! You drove that puck straight down to the goal line and slam dunk that turkey into the end zone! Sportsball!

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    GO ORGANIZED PLAY

  • @TheGentGaming
    @TheGentGaming2 жыл бұрын

    As a dad, I'm highly offended by this. Han Solo: A Star Wars Story was a great film!

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    Anakin: “That movie with Han Solo was a great film” Padme: “You mean Empire Strikes Back, right?” Anakin: *stares* Padme: “…right?”

  • @OsirisMalkovich
    @OsirisMalkovich2 жыл бұрын

    Loved this series! Enjoy the time off with your family Trace!

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thanks Osiris!

  • @thisissis8366
    @thisissis83662 жыл бұрын

    Thank you Trace this was a really good series: Your baby is adorable and hope your whole family stays blessed.

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thank you 💕

  • @AliciaWag
    @AliciaWag2 жыл бұрын

    Oh my goodness, Rafael is ADORABLE!! 🥰 Congratulations! Great series, too. You said you were very into music but don’t talk about it much - as a musician myself, I’d love to see you do a series on it, when you’re back. 🎼

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thank you!

  • @justwhistlinpixie
    @justwhistlinpixie2 жыл бұрын

    That outro made me misty eyed. 🥲

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    🥰🤗

  • @falsificationism
    @falsificationism2 жыл бұрын

    I love how at least half of what we think of as modern research psychology (I'm a research psychologist) basically just reduces to problems we wouldn't have but for capitalism.

  • @GB570
    @GB5702 жыл бұрын

    Rafael looking at you at the end of the video is adorable...

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    I thought so too

  • @johnp-e9963
    @johnp-e99632 жыл бұрын

    Regarding Attachment Theory, This has been a big part of our lives since we adopted our children and for a fair amount of time before our first child moved in. Here in the UK at least great emphasis is placed on attachment as part of the adoption process. As prospective adopters we had to complete a fair amount of paperwork as well as an attachment style interview (google ASI-AF) various meetings, home visits, background checks etc. Literally months of work, from making an enquiry to being approved to adopt was something like a year of work for the first child, thankfully we could re use some of that work for the second child!! The support form the local authorities has been fantastic, we have a course coming up titled Therapeutic Parenting in which the first four sessions are dedicated to attachment, two on therapeutic discipline, one on past experiences and one on looking after yourself as a parent (that means more time on the motorbike, right?) Some of the stuff we have learnt should be made available for all parents to learn from, its been a massive help for us but it feels like 'traditional' parents are losing out on some very valuable information.

  • @strangeadv4977
    @strangeadv49772 жыл бұрын

    Good on you Trace/Family to wrap up a great year. Enjoy these special days/weeks/months ahead cause they fly by quick. Don't beat yourself up on the unknowns of being a dad and just grow/enjoy each phase as you little dude grows up. My almost 8 year old is constantly teaching and challenging us so just enjoy the ride. Cheers!!

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    THANK YOU!

  • @shugadaddy4841
    @shugadaddy48412 жыл бұрын

    My husband's job allowed 1 week of parental leave when we had oir son. ONE WEEK!

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    Ew

  • @Subjective0
    @Subjective02 жыл бұрын

    Love your videos, and thanks for the info, even though I might not need it right now then I feel like the more I can learn and understand before I get there in my life the better a chance I will have at doing it the way I want to, not having to think of the stereotypes and learn to understand how to inform others will be a great thing to know. (not that I should inform them, I’ll send them your videos as you are a lot better at explaining than me 😅)

  • @justinb1606
    @justinb16062 жыл бұрын

    Love your videos and love your topics. I'm here in the states. I have 3 kids. I was given paid paternity for all three. And also was able to extend my leave without pay. I think it's a little harsh to say Americans dont have paternity leave. I feel we have more control over these things than we think. If you're a good employee. An asset to that company we have more leverage than we think.

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    It’s harsh, but not untrue. By putting leave solely in the hands of business we aren’t saying: “we care about this” we’re giving it to the crucible of for-profit capitalism

  • @chelseashurmantine8153

    @chelseashurmantine8153

    2 жыл бұрын

    Oooh I like the positivity

  • @justinb1606

    @justinb1606

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@chelseashurmantine8153 I am an optimus I feel like I have full control over my life and happiness. But I'm also empathetic to someone else's circumstances.

  • @nicholasforrester8587

    @nicholasforrester8587

    Жыл бұрын

    Well if a business can get along with out you. Then they don't need you. Plain and simple 😌 👌🏻

  • @B00s3
    @B00s32 жыл бұрын

    Great Series Trace! Best intro ever, had me cracking up. The Yondu reference was on point and I think I now have Present, Engaged and Involved forever ingrained in my head. Hope you have a great time off with your beautiful baby. Much love to You and your Family. See you when you return. 🧡

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    See you soon! (But not TOO soon)

  • @canibaloxide
    @canibaloxide2 жыл бұрын

    12:40 I'm going to have to put people having more kids into the column for cons rather than pros

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    Why do you say that?

  • @hgrace0
    @hgrace02 жыл бұрын

    Congratulations and good for you!!

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thanks!!

  • @TheMvlproductionsinc
    @TheMvlproductionsinc Жыл бұрын

    i love the inclusivity in this so much

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    Жыл бұрын

    💛💛💛💛

  • @meander112
    @meander1122 жыл бұрын

    Parenting for the parenting god!

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    so many gods in this day and age to appease!

  • @riosunlimited7413
    @riosunlimited74132 жыл бұрын

    Great vid. My wife and I had our firstborn on Sep and this is awesome info.

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    Congratulations!! Glad it was helpful and good luck (you're about two months ahead of us) 💖

  • @deezeedrone
    @deezeedrone Жыл бұрын

    Who is he referring to when he says, "non birthing parent"???

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    Жыл бұрын

    The … parent that didn’t birth the child? Maybe it’s a biological male, maybe it’s one of the people in a two-woman relationship, or maybe it’s all the parents who have a baby thanks to a birth by surrogate!

  • @primordialsoup8570
    @primordialsoup85702 жыл бұрын

    Trace!!! ❣️❤️💕🥳🎉🎄

  • @Flowxp
    @Flowxp2 жыл бұрын

    If you ask real parents, not from studies, you will find out that kids prefer mom in the first years of life.

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    Who do you imagine these studies talked to or observed in their actual interactions? They didn’t happen in a computer or in fantasy - studies involve conversations with and observations of thousands and thousands of parents or kids, often spanning many years. What you’re saying is: “If you ask a handful of anecdotes from parents who I know (and thus feel more real to me), and ignore the thousands of parents these people I don’t know talked too, you’ll find out [my assumptions of the people I know] prefer moms. My simple response: I’m so glad you’re talking to your friends or their kids - that may absolutely be the case for that small group. Broadly speaking, the unbiased evidence says differently

  • @tekk034
    @tekk0342 жыл бұрын

    Do you know how many men get treated like idiots when it comes to caring for their kids, even by their own wives. Lots of dads out there want to be there for their kids. But the moment they slip up once they dragged through the mud. "He's just a man" "I have 3 kids, and I'm merried to one of them". Do you understand how degradating all that is. To get completely shit on for try to be a good dad

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    I had a section on this that I ultimately pulled, but I do care a lot about it. The “dumb husband” trope and the stereotype of men being unable to child-rear is also bad. If someone says this to me personally, I ask : “what do you mean by that?” And “can you show me what I should do?” The first makes people repeat themselves and hopefully realize they’re stereotyping, and the second makes them aware that we’re all learning !

  • @billystandage8966
    @billystandage89662 жыл бұрын

    Lol yea no one ever sees the giant Silverback

  • @IHateUniqueUsernames
    @IHateUniqueUsernames2 жыл бұрын

    So, you're saying that letting humans be humans is actually good for humans to be humans. Who knew?!

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    WHO WOULDA THUNK

  • @InsanityPlusOne
    @InsanityPlusOne2 жыл бұрын

    #breakthebaby

  • @sesaed4269
    @sesaed42692 жыл бұрын

    First!

  • @edgarstin2126
    @edgarstin21262 жыл бұрын

    Haha Canada is less manly! They are the only country in history to host an Olympics and not win a Gold medal.

  • @InsanityPlusOne
    @InsanityPlusOne2 жыл бұрын

    Sandy Ravage?

  • @BeTeK11
    @BeTeK112 жыл бұрын

    And what are toxic stereotypes for women? I couldn't find any in this video :D I think this video is quite sexist :D

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    The series is called “dad parents” so I tried to stick to the topic :)

  • @BeTeK11

    @BeTeK11

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@TraceDominguez Fair enough. Why nobody ever talks about toxic behaviour of women. I have always been really puzzled about it. SInce I can see it daily but nobody ever talks about it.

  • @WalterBurton
    @WalterBurton2 жыл бұрын

    Remedial parenting class for all the mouth-breather dads out there? SKIP!

  • @TraceDominguez

    @TraceDominguez

    2 жыл бұрын

    hahahaha