IME the need to be special is so deeply rooted due to the existential fear of abandonment. If I am not special I will not be loved thus abandoned thus not offered love, care and compassion which in the body-mind is equal to death. I found in me this very little girl that wants to be super special, a princess. So it started already in early childhood. It’s such a painful state of not feeling good enough and due to it (secretly) seeking specialness and personal validation almost all of the time. Such a heart breaking and exhausting game of chasing one’s tail. But realising this pattern has helped a lot. There’s a lot of inertia though.

@SimplyAlwaysAwake

4 ай бұрын

I agree, that is exactly what it is tied to in the personal context. In the impersonal context it is rooted in the sense of being separate from everyone and everything. The dualistic experience along with the sense of self "feels" exactly like the fear of abandonment, which gets repressed and buried by added identity structures :)

Why did I just listen to this 3 times in a row?

The pointing regarding specialness, being special is so direct. 😮😔 No matter how, spiritually or at mundane level this conditioning has so many branches rooted in the primordial shame and arrogance.. Self validation, the need for feedback it's seen here now in all it's manifestation.. It's deeply rooted in the wound of abandonment and shame. It's profoundly uncomfortable to face this but it's necessary, because it's sticky. 😳😐 It's another form of identification. Thank you so much for the pointer. Spiritual arrogance is also another form of the ego. 😐😶 Much love. 💖🙏

@rbecerramiami

2 күн бұрын

Brilliant

I was sobbing while watching this! Beyond that, I have no words. ❤

Oh Lordy this is the wildest thing I could ever have dreamed of! This hits different but deeply moving. I’m ok but I want to scream…. Or something?! Thank you Angelo. I’m really trying to surrender. What a trip.

Love the Angelo Badalamenti ISH soundtrack. For me it makes the pull into the thoughtless surrender of what is EZ deep. Twin Peaks 4EVER

I was just reading more deeply into dependent origination, and understanding how we experience reality structured in the reverse order to how it actually is. We think myself come first, and everything happens within or to myself. But actually we find ourselves secondary, fickle, stood atop of what was already there, again and again, grasping to remain the master. And now I'm realizing that everything you're saying is actually really obvious and normal and not at all mystical or confusing, but I totally see how from the perspective of a self it would be. It's not even like you discover something. Just that all the things you thought applied to yourself, or were relevant to yourself, don't really apply, aren't relevant. Nothing has been uprooted, but there is understanding here at the moment.

@nathaniel4969

4 ай бұрын

Dependent Origination describes the mechanics of existence, and within it, how a "self" arises. Book knowledge is good, but when you see this up close and personally through meditation, it's quite a revelation. Understanding is good, uprooting is better 🙂. Go on a meditation retreat if you can.

@Morgan313

4 ай бұрын

There's a playlist on this channel that walks through breaking the fetters. I understand the fetters to be going through dependent origination backward (I'm just a beginner Buddhist though.) I went through the Fetter process and can confirm it does work. A meditation retreat is also helpful for many, but I was impatient 😄

Thank you so much Angelo! I want to dispell all illusions.

It’s very clear that it’s so mysterious! I believe in God, but I don’t know what God is.

Okay, I can't stop listening to the beautiful music, and my mind can't do conceptual at the same time, evidently. One of your Tantric tricks, no doubt. My mind wants the words and can't grasp them for the fullness of love evoked by the music. Did it stop my mind? NO 😂

Even though it wasn’t necessarily the topic at hand, while listening to this, I found my mind visiting people I’ve held judgments against, and switching my focus to the things I love about them. It feels better to choose love. ❤

Thank you Angelo, your videos are always exactly on time and so appreciated, the most precious resource I have ❤

Thank you for your guidance 🙏

@SimplyAlwaysAwake

4 ай бұрын

Welcome!

I was carried away by the music to the point that the words started to quickly vaporize, and the music did the talk by itself... It still transmitted the message, but in a more visceral way... I felt like crying but can't explain why... powerful! 🔥❤️🙏

Thank you Angelo❤ when I finally realised there is no-one there, and all is just an illusion. I felt so cheated.. the shock and the horror! Now, I laugh. When I look up at the stars at night, I can hear Little Prince laughing with me .

@MsChrisDavenport

4 ай бұрын

Beautiful ❤

That was absolutely beautiful ! ❤

Absolutely blissed out……..thank you Angelo……🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤✨✨✨😶‍🌫💥

Amazing ❤ Thank you

I watched your video. The light bulb went off. I meditated for what felt like 5 minutes and was actually over an hour (I hate time some"times")...and the only words I can take from it was "cosmic belch." Then I got curious and googled it lol.

I’m reading your book and loving it. Incredible video and delivery. I love the piano and the background and the cool green screen effect going on.

Be willing to go where you're led - I feel that. Led by what? It feels like a wise guide leading a child.

@Ryan-Dempsey

4 ай бұрын

And I am that wise guide and the child. At least that's how it feels right now.

@christinaforras

4 ай бұрын

Chills reading both parts of this 🥲🙏🏻🌬️

I love it. Thanks buddy. So much peace and gratitude 😊

Thank you Angelo 🙏

Thank you Angelo. Very direct expression here 😊

Beautiful video and nice choice of music. It has me feeling-well I’m unsure what it is. I’ll have to look. I have come to enjoy a paradox, though. Thank you.

very nice video, beautifull background animation and beautifull music

Exhausting the doubt is indeed often necessary. It's as if the looking eventually dissolves the illusion of the looker.

Thanks for this, 🎯♥😶 🙏☮ wishing love, grace, courage and understanding for all. Please Thank you 🎯♥😶 🙏 love, grace,peace and understanding of it to all asap.

Sooo Beautiful....

Sooo beautiful ❤thank you . I love the sound tracks on your last videos be great to know who there by 🥰😍❤️

I feel like I'm caught in some sort of non-existent middle ground. My mind is so perplexed even as I type this. How is this happening? No one is doing anything and yet here it is. How am "I" doing anything?! Its not and it is as the same time. Folding, unfolding, never having been folded. Doing, not doing, here yet having never ever been. I can't understand the movement of the second hand of the clock, how the hell did that (and everything else) move from one second into the next? Time, free will, me, not me. Im trying to get across that it all is and isn't, and I my frustrations seemingly arise because there is an expectation of freedom that "should" be arriving with all this madness but all I'm getting is the oddity and unsettling paradoxes. The bubble is seen but it refuses to pop as it were.

@SimplyAlwaysAwake

4 ай бұрын

I might look into what seems to cause the experience to be unsettling. It’s all about beliefs unexamined.

@cosmogang

4 ай бұрын

Thank you! Why did I label that? Brilliant

so beautiful 🙏❤️

"You have to go where you're led" ... Could it be that I'm already guided moment by moment, and I just have to go there, rather than some imagined elsewhere?

❤❤❤

wonderful, thank you! What is the music?

Liberation being that good..starting to wonder why I use my life doing anything else but to realize that freedom.

@SimplyAlwaysAwake

4 ай бұрын

Dogen would agree with you. As would Nisargadatta

So fucking good!! I can feel it… Thank you, Angelo. Bless you, brother.

D minor indeed ✨

I like listening to Angelo but prefer Ramesh Balsekar. Ramesh was so clear with his concepts. Everything happens in accordance with cosmic law or God's will.

@christinaforras

4 ай бұрын

🩷❤️Truth is simple. I enjoy both as well 🥰

Being special doesn’t mean much to me, it‘s much more the need for love that feeling of me and my girlfriend being together but still lacking and one day dying, that‘s killing me. So hopefully it kills me completely now. I‘ve always had this strange feeling far back in my being that reality is quite a wild thing in truth…

🙏🙏🙏

🙏💚

Thanks Bro! Could you transmit my direction a little more?😁

To experience doubtlessness? 🤯

The piano is driving me crazy-it’s like it’s a Chopin or Schubert nocturne or something, but it’s probably really just some new age kind of piece? Not a complaint, it’s just I’m a pianist, so I can’t not try to sus it out 😹

ye but on the way, it feels like the cosmos is pushing a knife on you harder and harder, like you are a cockroach and you start to move and twist your legs more and more intensly as the edge is being pressed more and more on your poor cockroachie tummy.

@Sashas-mom

4 ай бұрын

😆

Hmmm, can I just plug back in and enjoy my tasty steak?

@SimplyAlwaysAwake

4 ай бұрын

You can try

@SlabVault

4 ай бұрын

@@SimplyAlwaysAwake actually got your book coming in the post. Looking forward to reading it!!

Thank you for the timely clarity once again ! It appears that the culmination of all self-created illusions within my mind is drawing near. 🪔🌿🥰🙏