Each and every breath is meditation.
To keep the window open is to know at last no protection. To fully surrender is to choose the magic of the moment and embrace the chaos and uncertainty since we never fully know when each moment could close and it could be our last. Unless we choose to do the work and transcend like a superhero but even they have kryptonite.
For a while they got to me but there can be no protection in love and there can be no protection from the storms and the rain and there can be no...
Winning.
Sometimes there is no winning the game. Sometimes our cards are dealt and the game is already over before it has even begun and we do our best to cast our gems and roll the dice but gambling can never satisfy because sometimes...
You just can't do it. Sometimes you cannot fully win and sometimes it is fully justified to fold but you forget for a while and then you pick up those old cards again and you read their totem instructions and you begin to Hope again.
I hope that this time you are dealt properly and that you wield the power not to play the right hand but to show your cards and expose them.
For everything that you have written and read is already the power in the palm of your hand. You are afraid and you fear that by abandoning your cards and showing your hands that there will be shackles put and placed upon them.
But no wonder for these fantastical fears are evil taking the form of nightmares and apparitions and ghosts and, yes, phantoms on the mere road to Ixtlan. And there is nothing in the night but yourself and your knock asunder.
This knock on the night from the Moon and the lady of the lake which yields the key to Awakening your passion and your desire but mostly your acceptance of the knowledge of the truth.
There is no winning anymore. There is no game that can save you. There is no protection and there is no winning in love.
There is no waiting and there is only an open window by an Open door by an open lake by the snickering whisper of the fleeting wind within the night...
And there is only yourself and your bed and your grave and your choice not to bury yourself in it.
Your only chaos is your mind, but at least you have yourself.
And that is all that really matters.