"I don't have much experience slipping things into my butt"…... well that's not zero experience Simon.

@josievaccaro

8 ай бұрын

😂

@vxicepickxv

8 ай бұрын

I imagine he followed the instructions on his suppository "Unwrap before use," which was put there for a reason.

@phils4634

6 ай бұрын

@@vxicepickxv You might not be surprised to hear that many first-time users ("installers"???) overlook this rather important requirement. The Wife's a Pharmacist, and the things she sees (and hears) are somewhat scary - "following simple instructions" seems well beyond a large chunk of her customer base!

Realize I'm addicted to the Whistlerverse

@dskjbkdjbzdkjdnkdJNKJf

9 ай бұрын

Ya me too 😂

@Ad_Inferno

9 ай бұрын

Right? Like, there's not a single channel of his that I don't have at least a passing interest in, often just because he makes the subject matter entertaining.

@b1646717

9 ай бұрын

We all whistle here. You'll whistle too

@samanthaculbertson5196

9 ай бұрын

🙋‍♀️

@bunyipdragon9499

9 ай бұрын

Your not alone and there's no cure 😢

To quote a friend who worked in Customer Service for a long time: "Every dumb safety warning exists because some idiot did it."

@nursejoeyluc

7 ай бұрын

Also known in my industry "Every mistake is written in blood."

@jwenting

7 ай бұрын

which would explain the allergen warning "may contain milk" I saw on a carton of milk a few years ago.

I had medicine once that didn't just list "death" as a possible side effect, but "sudden inexplicable death". Anti-psychotics. Great stuff.

@eetadakimasu

9 ай бұрын

Yikes!

@paulherman5822

9 ай бұрын

There's an antipsychotic that listed, initially, the first 2 side effects as "can cause your heart to quit," and "painful, permanent erection that can only be repaired by surgery." Was generally given to early adolescent boys. At levels well above the recommended safe high adult dose... 4-6x the daily high dose, several times a day...

@micmac274

9 ай бұрын

A lot of that is due to listing everything the drug could affect, rather than everything it does affect.

@tamsel814

9 ай бұрын

I think my friend had the same meds. We had a competition of wierdest medical side effects warning and she won.

@jbird4478

9 ай бұрын

@@tamsel814 It was olanzapine (Zyprexa) in my case. Antipsychotics will win that competition regardless though. I mean: male breast development, lactation, parkinson's-like symptoms, ejaculation disorder, hallucinations... to pick a few that most antipsychotics have.

The back and forward of the writers knowing how Simon thinks and answering/heading off this thoughts with the next line that they know he hasn't read yet.

@deaks25

9 ай бұрын

It gets better when the writers predict not only Simon's reaction, but the editors reaction to Simon's reaction with the next line...

@Delmworks

9 ай бұрын

To be honest I love how Simon never pre-reads what his writers give him. Makes it a reaction video without the pilfering of content

@MrRogers-hood

9 ай бұрын

Chefs kiss

I've seen a friend get knocked out by a range safety attendant. He racked and closed a pistol (no magazine in it) and pointed it at my other friend. Safety dude took two running steps towards him and delivered a right overhand that took off in Boston and landed in San Francisco. Buddy was out immediately. When we woke him up (with cops called) he thought we were in his living room. Dude knocked an entire hour out of his brain. After explaining what happened, he was like "yep, probably shouldn't have done that." He's still banned from the range.

@EShirako

9 ай бұрын

"Took off in Boston and landed in San Fran" makes me giggle every time I read it. I am entirely imagining the super-slow-mo of your buddy's finger closing in on the trigger guard...fist getting closer. Steadily-rising whooshing-sound in the background. Finger sliiiiiiding barely into the trigger guard...flash view over to a fist covered in meteoric flame. Finger touches the...NEVERMIND, BOOM! Brain gets smacked into an hour ago, for good. Good reaction time on the Range Safety person, too! Did it ever prove to have a bullet in it, or no? Either way earns the cold-cocking cold-cock, but I'm curious!

@andiward7068

9 ай бұрын

? why were the cops called?

@takeohtyme

9 ай бұрын

@@andiward7068 to have him formally trespassed from the property and get EMS to make sure he didn't have severe injuries. We had to take him to the hospital to get his head checked

@takeohtyme

9 ай бұрын

@@EShirako no, I watched him drop the mag and clear the gun. Range dude just seen him point a gun at someone and reacted.

@andiward7068

9 ай бұрын

@takeohtyme Ah, that makes sense.

I once bought a desktop lamp, and in the warranty exclusions it said "warranty is not extended to the rat disaster." Never going to forget that one.

@sookendestroy1

9 ай бұрын

The rat flood

@myself2noone

9 ай бұрын

I think the scariest part is "the rat disaster." Like there's just one, and they know it's coming?

@shelleyfromtheblock

9 ай бұрын

The Rat Disaster - good band name!😎

@SPACE.KITTY.

8 ай бұрын

Wtf does that mean!? 😂

My former mother in law is a radiology technician. She conveniently made copies of X-rays of “accidental” insertions. Holiday dinners were always a highlight of the year.

@timmanning5206

9 ай бұрын

Radiographer here, yup. It's the same with all of us

@tom.m

9 ай бұрын

That sounds like a huge privacy violation?

@timmanning5206

9 ай бұрын

@@tom.m but it's not as everything is anonomised

@tom.m

9 ай бұрын

@@timmanning5206 I'm relatively sure every one of my xrays has had my name and dob on it. Is the ER is different? I was pretty messed up the only time I went there. Stories are great, but taking copies of documents home just seems like a risk.

@timmanning5206

9 ай бұрын

@@tom.m every computer system has a "hide annotations" and "anonomise" option. It's how we are able to have teaching cases. There's NO way anyone can tell it's yours and if they can, you're right, that is a punishable crime

I have a friend who works for the health and safety executive, she gets so pissed off when random companies decide stuff is "against health and safety" when it isnt. The rule of thumb she says is, "for it to be a real warning, it has to be written in someone's blood." Stuck with me.

@willemthijssen1082

9 ай бұрын

Same as safety procedures. Safety protocols are written in blood, and usually not one person's either

@sookendestroy1

9 ай бұрын

@@willemthijssen1082 so are food/health and building codes

@laughingoutloud5742

9 ай бұрын

​@@willemthijssen1082unfortunately you're absolutely right.😢

@dilanbrinkley3587

9 ай бұрын

It only takes one idiot to ruin it for the rest of us. If you're going to be stupid, be smart about it. Don't put any other appendage somewhere you wouldn't put your reproductive one. If the breaker is in the box, the line is hot. A falling blade has no handle. Just a few off the top of my head...

@ohredhk

9 ай бұрын

I worked in consumer product sector. I can tell with confidence that all of those wired warnings you saw on products are there because they already happened. We did not make them up as your friend suggested.

Simon: “Only someone with an IQ of 16 would do this!” Hundreds of people already 8+ drinks in: “Hold my beer.”

@Darth-Claw-Killflex

9 ай бұрын

He didn't say 16, genius.

@kaldo_kaldo

9 ай бұрын

Maybe every drink lowers your IQ by 10

@kaldo_kaldo

9 ай бұрын

No need to be rude/condescending, people can mishear things. I heard 16 as well@@Darth-Claw-Killflex

@williamhardes8081

9 ай бұрын

some of humanity's greatest feats have occurred just after uttering, "hold my beer!"

@Rekuzan

9 ай бұрын

No worries Simon; with people that stupid, they'll remove themselves from the Gene pool...

I swear, the highlight of every video is Simon's sudden swerves into TMI-land. :D

Simon, my father was also extremely organized and when he passed away I went through years worth of paid bills and such. I even found a receipt for a car he had purchased it in the 1960's and this was about 2 years ago. Meanwhile, I have about the same attention span that you seem to have.

@Bacopa68

9 ай бұрын

My mom was like that. After she died I found a file with every repair of a 1967 Chevelle wagon bought before I was born. Didn't get rid of it until 1980. I knew it as "the blue car".

@Kblmquist

8 ай бұрын

My dad had the paperwork for some land my grandfather bought in the 1940’s. My grandfather paid about $250 US dollars for a couple of acres of land. I find it funny that it was just hand written on a 4x7 piece of paper.

My favorite warning was "Do not use lawn mower to trim hedges."

@jessicazaytsoff1494

9 ай бұрын

It does seem like it would save time. But still a bad idea.

@joeofoysterbay7197

9 ай бұрын

It doesn't stop everyone. I've seen this happen.

@patrickdurham8393

9 ай бұрын

The World's Strongest Redneck did it and it was hilarious!

@patrickday4206

8 ай бұрын

God they are always wrecking productivity 😂

@williammelaniegappmayer2655

8 ай бұрын

Mine was "hot when heated".

Brennan Lee Mulligan needs to start getting paid for these cameos 😂😂😂

Regarding the fuel gauge warning, I worked in a manufacturing plant about a decade ago, where I had to watch a safety video that was over an hour long over the fact that the ink used in Sharpie markers is alcohol based and extremely flammable. This was a few years into my time there, and the incident had happened the prior week on the shift opposite of mine. Turns out a guy was checking the level of the ink barrel with his lighter instead of the dipstick we used for that very reason, which was propped up against the barrels at all times! Needless to say it exploded, he inhaled burning alcohol vapors, torched good esophagus and lungs pretty bad and ended up in critical care. Not sure about the outcome, but I’m sure he learned his lesson if he pulled through it.

@EveryFairyDies

9 ай бұрын

Well, at least that time you knew exactly who it was that ruined it for the rest of you 😆 Damn.

@skwervin1

9 ай бұрын

I used to work in the lab of a dairy factory and we used to carry a spray bottle of alcohol and a lighter with us so we could sterilse the various dippers, scoops etc we used to take samples from cream vats, butter blocks and so on. You had a bucket of hot water and paper towel so you would clean the item in the bucket, dry it then spray with alcohol and ignite. Never set fire to myself or anyone else. We were the only people on site allowed to carry lighters and only for that purpose. Once every so often we would spray the steel benches we worked on and set fire to it for an extra clean, particularly when we had been handling possibly contaminated stuff (we sometimes had to test the waste water) and even though we had cleaned the bench, the fire was an added step. Incase you are unaware, alcohol flames are colourless and you had to watch and wait to make sure all of the flame was gone. Ahh the 80's!

@adde9506

9 ай бұрын

He died. You can't unmelt lungs and transplants aren't exactly jumping out of the walls.

@gorkskoal9315

8 ай бұрын

Egad.

I once bought a piece of armor for a medieval costume. On the tag were the usual warnings, not use it in actual combat, dispose of it if damaged etc. The last sentence though has always made wonder just what others had tried doing with it. The last sentence on a warning tag for a piece of metal armor read “ do not eat “.

@frantisekvrana3902

9 ай бұрын

Someone thought they were a Rust Monster. They were wrong.

@bob7975

8 ай бұрын

I always wonder about similar warnings on desiccants in pill bottles.

My sister and I are both English majors, so when we see poorly worded warning labels, we text a pic of it to one another. Usually it's bad translations, but poor word choices are the best. "Do not throw missiles at workers" found a few miles from an Air Force base is my personal favorite find. (They meant rocks but... I mean... I just HAD to photoshop a missile into the pic!) For dumb safety warnings, we come up with elaborate stories about what some poor sap must have done to REQUIRE such a label. "If they have to warn against it, someone definitely has tried it."

@iamarawn

9 ай бұрын

Damn, both of you got English majors? Your parents allowed you two to actually get those "degrees"? Do they hate you?

@bob7975

8 ай бұрын

Technically, thrown rocks ARE missles.

@gorkskoal9315

8 ай бұрын

Pretty much this. I was dating someone that worked on repairs on planes and other stuff on a bass. The number of shortcuts, or just bad things people did there was horrifying. Her Ex who was fulltime in the army IIRC:didn't keep the saftey of his gun on, thought it was fun to twirl and through despite being a literal weapon, even though ( at the time) there are specific lifts and carriages for everything from what I could tell. her back got messed up once when someone she was helping a routine airplane inspection didn't bother going 10-15 feet to get the right gizmos for replacing the tires. So part or all of fell down on her, friend get herself checked out, and the dunderhead that caused ripped a new one because he just damaged a insanely expensive thing. I bet somewhere out there are now lifts for replacing tires for jeeps and airplanes saying: use the right one!!!

This is probably one of the most funniest in a long time. Poor Simon

I feel safety warnings exist because someone, somewhere out there probably tried doing it. Like medical diagnostic (ICD) codes, I guess (e.g. burns due to water skis on fire.... yes, there is a diagnostic code specifically for this). Perhaps this could be a follow-up episode? 😁😁

@rmeredithm

9 ай бұрын

😂🤣😂🤣 ICD codes are wild lol great idea!

@AngeliqueStP

9 ай бұрын

Oooo, yes please! That sounds like it'd be a ...blast.

@davidlium9338

9 ай бұрын

How did that happen?

@semaj_5022

9 ай бұрын

@davidlium9338 Dropped a lit cigarette while water skiing through an oil spill, maybe? Who knows lmao

@amberkat8147

9 ай бұрын

Yes please, that sounds awesome.

My girlfriend and I got into my car one sunny day, and as I removed the sun shade from the windshield I noticed a small note in the corner I'd never seen before: "Do not drive with sun shade in place." We were reduced to hysterics and it was some time before I could drive. From then on anytime we needed a laugh we'd just mention it.

Safety warning for Business Blaze. Beware, laughing is involved

@audreygibson4780

9 ай бұрын

Within the first couple seconds ....wtf was that? Lol

@CTP909

9 ай бұрын

And cocaine.... So much cocaine

@brianwhite8593

9 ай бұрын

Am i right Peter

@Akren905

9 ай бұрын

One of us, one of us *sniff* woooo am I right Peter!

@Sniperboy5551

9 ай бұрын

Oh no, I have to click off!

I turned 19 today. Coming back to my dorm to a brand new brain blaze is my favorite present yet. Thanks, Simon!

@zombiechicken7114

9 ай бұрын

Happy birthday!!

@manaash4316

9 ай бұрын

Happy belated!

Lorelei Brown (a.k.a. "Not Sam") is quickly becoming my favorite member of the Basement Blaze team. Absolute savagery whenever Simon (and this time Dave) address Sam for the editing.

Omg the bit about the parents filing system is SO accurate. Last month I rang my mum to ask if she had anything with my NHS number and within about 5 minutes she was like "ok here's a document from 2010 with it on!"

2:50 - Chapter 1 - Be careful with your curling iron 6:25 - Chapter 2 - Just trust you fuel gauge 9:20 - Chapter 3 - Medication warnings 10:15 - Chapter 3.1 - Dimetapp for children 10:55 - Chapter 3.2 - Exetenze male enhancement pill 14:35 - Chapter 3.3 - May induce drowsyness 15:15 - Chapter 4 - Poorly worded warnings 19:20 - Chapter 5 - Children scooter moves 22:00 - Chapter 6 - Guns can be dangerous 25:25 - Chapter 7 - Buy 2 thermometers

@lancebradshaw4829

9 ай бұрын

26:38 - Chapter 8 - Mr. Krabs impression.

@deemariedubois4916

9 ай бұрын

Thanks…I appreciate it.

@Darth-Claw-Killflex

9 ай бұрын

The only purpose that you serve is mockery.

@yaroslavpanych2067

9 ай бұрын

You missed: 25:35 - Rick Roll

@ALPHARHYTHM0

9 ай бұрын

:And of course where Simon resets the teleprompter back to the beginning 12:10 and 16:38

Assuming that Sam edited this.. that one clip of Simon on the monitor being turned off with the remote.. fu**ing gold, super well played 😂😂😂

@manaash4316

9 ай бұрын

Not-Sam edited this 😂

@midnite_rambler

9 ай бұрын

Lorelei Brown is the editor here.

..as a former ER (A&E) nurse, the object insertion incidents were extraordinary and ...well, frankly mad - I was working on a crazy friday night in the UK, and a woman came in with a small fruit juice bottle stuck (neck first) in her lady garden... the warmth of her body had expanded the air in the bottle, and created a vacuum - we managed to slide a catheter (a small plastic tube) up.. and in.. to release the vacuum, and were able to release the bottle - job done... but she appeared the next week, with another bottle stuck! Same procedure, sorted - I called the on-call maintenance dude, and asked if a hole could be drilled in the bottom of the glass bottle - he could - I then gave the bottle back to the woman, and asked her to never darken our doors again... Bonkers!

@popenieafantome9527

9 ай бұрын

I wonder if any hospital has ever partnered with their local sex toys stores to hand out discounts and to encourage use of proper tools to repeated offenders.

@m-w-y7325

7 ай бұрын

@@popenieafantome9527 some people have aversion to using actual tools meant for...intimate stuff out of shame. and this leads them to justifying shoving objects that should not go where they go.

This just reminds me of a couple time when I would be at Walmart with someone, while they are trying to decide on what type of whatever they are looking at I would pick up something and just read the random safety warnings. On an extension cord, AN EXTENSION CORD, it said "may cause cancer". I’m still baffled by this and have made it a habit to check the labels on random items during any trip to the store, just to see what else may have that warning on it.

@swedishmeatball4382

9 ай бұрын

One way it could cause cancer would be if the cord was set on fire somehow and you inhaled the fumes from the burning plastic. However, you are probably more likely to expire from toxic fumes or the fire itself, of course.

@jimcappa6815

9 ай бұрын

You must be in the US. That's there because some random part of the extension cord may have been found to cause cancer, so in order for it to be sold in California, it has to have the Prop 65 warning. Instead of making separate tags for CA products, they just have it on everything. It's sort of hilarious. Every store you go to in CA has a.warning label at the entrance letting you know that they carry products that may cause cancer.

@thepastmaster5643

9 ай бұрын

Probably some moron thought that EM radiation causes cancer and tried to sue them.

@gnarthdarkanen7464

9 ай бұрын

Yeah, that cancer warning's there for California, SAME with the warning on damn nearly everything, "This product has components and/or substances that are known to the State of California to cause birth defects and reproductive harm." It's funny to find on the first... oh... couple hundred products when you're specifically (still) wondering if they include it, too... BUT when it starts to sink in that it's on literally EVERYthing, it loses its appeal to humor. That doesn't stop a LOT of warning labels from being fun... and some of them are downright hilarious, whether or not you specifically include the context "Someone tried it and sued the company or this wouldn't be on here." ;o)

@bluewolf194

9 ай бұрын

In the state of Cancer may cause Calafornia.

I'm 48 years old and so far in my life, I've been able to get a warranty under repair for a household item ONE time. It was a refrigerator, and it lasted one more year after the warranty, then broke again without the warranty so I just bought a new one.

@Sniperboy5551

9 ай бұрын

That’s planned obsolescence for you. They don’t make things like they used to.

@petuniasevan

9 ай бұрын

@@Sniperboy5551 And it won't be long before you need a subscription to allow your home appliances to continue to work properly.

@chitlitlah

9 ай бұрын

Depending on the problem, they're sometimes quite easy to fix. I repaired my dryer one time, a job that took about an hour after I got the parts, and it ran better than the day I bought it. (Granted I bought it used.)

I love your videos Simon! I will often put them on when I'm doing things around the house or driving, better than any podcast! Am I right Peter?!?

@golab41

9 ай бұрын

I drive for work and save up the vids for my shifts. Edit. Felt the need to answer, my name is Peter...

@jordanroberts3007

9 ай бұрын

​@@golab41these comments are brilliant, A) they're highly relatable, B) Peter.

@mikekeating

9 ай бұрын

Alot of Simon's channels are also done as podcasts

@SquirrelNebula

9 ай бұрын

@@golab41 we finally found Peter!! 😁

This episode included several Skelator "WHAT!"'s, a shot of Leo Morachiolli, common sense gun talk and a derisive mention of the COVID vaccine!! Damn near perfect!!

@Tone720

9 ай бұрын

My favourite insert was the I fell on it but from Scrubs

Simon's label: "Warning: may be prone to random tangents, awkward explanations, incorrect rim shot impressions, and random fits of laughter at inappropriate times"... which is exactly why we watch this channel.

I'm just here to watch Simon struggle with his native language🤣🤣🤣

The facts are why i started watching you but your personality is why i stayed and come back as soon as you upload

"My dad is someone." Classic Simon quote

In regards to the hair irons being put in strange areas I can sadly say that those aren't the only things that happens with. 8 or 9 years ago I worked as a paramedic/firefighter and we had a call designation for this, FOIB (Foreign Object in Body). I can more clearly remember more of those calls than any other call types I ran on.

the rectal thing is because when we take an animal’s temperature we do it rectally! surprisingly this is often less upsetting for them than orally but also it’s more accurate 🤷🏽‍♀️ but just know that if you’ve ever taken your dog to the vets he’s had a thermometer up there during a checkup haha

@LordAlucard22

9 ай бұрын

I've always been curious why vets choose rectal temperature checks over oral, makes sense that it would be more accurate than oral checks but my dog got an aggression mark for showing his teeth while having his temperature checked

@blazewardog

9 ай бұрын

It is more accurate for humans also. We just do oral ones as it's more comfortable, but I know a lot of NICUs do rectal temperature nearly exclusively. Given you might be taking care of the mother also I can see why a friendly reminder is helpful there.

@hed1fsu

9 ай бұрын

And so humans want to put used vet rectal thermometers in their mouth? 🤣

@nugboy420

9 ай бұрын

Humans too

@Sniperboy5551

9 ай бұрын

@nugboy420 Idk brother, it might be more accurate, but I’d much rather have a thermometer in my mouth than up my arse.

Keep the blazes on, factboy! I would LOVE to see a blaze about the 2nd pacific squadron voyage of the damned, the amount on incompetence during the trip was astonishing and surely deserves a video

@adenkyramud5005

9 ай бұрын

Quick, get the binoculars! The admiral is angry again

@Pipe_Avileins

9 ай бұрын

@@adenkyramud5005 have you seen torpedo boats?

@gregmchurch

9 ай бұрын

Japan's secret weapon: The repair ship Kamchatka.

@Pipe_Avileins

9 ай бұрын

@@gregmchurch the best ship in the ruso-japanese war for the IJN

@gnarthdarkanen7464

9 ай бұрын

Looks of things n this thread, just about everyone's seen or heard about it... BUT the "Flight of Rodina" in 1938 was a pretty good clusterf*ck... The Soviets were hellbent for an all female flight crew to establish a record breaking distance flight at about 3600 or 3700 miles, but bad weather led to poor visibility and they lost the airfield... and then rescue crews had to go find the plane... which it took 'em about 8 days to do, still in decent condition, so not all was lost... BUT with the navigator's position particularly vulnerable in emergency landings, the nav' chuted out of the plane before landing... and couldn't find her emergency pack... but stumbled into camp when she finally found the plane 10 days after the emergency landing... Apparently, rescue crews had found it, and just waited 2 days for her to show up. ...and of course, everyone involved got medals... Well... let's face it. Nothing ever really went particularly according to plan in the 30's anyway, and at least nobody was killed in this one. I guess that's good enough for a "success". ;o)

"Businesses need to have an 'are you sh%$@ng me' defense. So that lawyers can walk in, look at the judge, look at the plaintiff, look at the judge, 'Are you sh%$&@ng me? This guy skied off of l his roof! I gotta include all the things NOT to do with my product? Hey! Don't assist in childbirth with this ski!'" - Chris Porter

In case fact boy is interested: The gas tank for most trucks, motorbikes, and apparently jetskis, is filled directly into the tank (you can see when it's near full). Cars fill through a tube into the tank which is usually underneath the boot/rear seat area.

Huge props for the Mass Effect space hamster at 4:30- knew you guys were high class 😂👍

Loved the Leo Moracchioli clip!! He does GREAT covers!

@EveryFairyDies

9 ай бұрын

Dude is epic! I was so glad I had a chance to feature him in BB! 🤘🤘

A note on the gun warnings: having a gun increases the risk of suicide by gun because having an easily available means of quick death can actually increase intrusive thoughts around killing oneself when depressed/panicking

Freaking dying today. Funny script, just enough Simon chaos, and some A+ editing from Sam! 👏👏

I've always felt bizarre warnings can be summed up with one found in a particular retail store. On the label for a packet of Walnut Whip desserts was the warning "may contain nuts". Frankly, if it doesn't, I'm taking it back.

@loka7783

9 ай бұрын

Admittedly I am guessing here is that the warning is meant to imply that random nut particles may be included and some people have rather specific allergies to certain nuts. Like Brazilian nuts versus regular peanuts.

@sleepytiger78

9 ай бұрын

I had the same experience with some cocoanut almond ice cream, "may contain almonds". Yes, I would hope so!

@jamesmcconnell4705

9 ай бұрын

I've purchased jars of peanuts that have the warning "may contain or have come in contact with peanuts " Like really?

@EyMannMachHin

8 ай бұрын

To be fair, if it ran thorugh the same manufacturing line from the same producer or site, it is probably safest just to put it on everything leaving that plant, whether it includes said type of nut intentionally or not.

@robd9413

8 ай бұрын

@@EyMannMachHin The point was the ridiculousness of the notice. A walnut whip contain nuts so saying it may contain nuts is too broad as that is a given. If they said it may contain, say, peanuts as well as walnuts that is different, but simply "nuts" doesn't help if you are only allergic to certain types instead of nuts in general.

Omg him fucking up the teleprompter really got me laughing

1:33 is the perfect Simon out of context: "my dad's someone."

22:49 I have never had cause to hold a gun in my life and even I know the most basic rule of gun safety: Never point it at someone you don't intend to shoot. I also know to never put your finger on the trigger unless you plan to shoot right fucking now.

Best thing to get before bed an episode of Blaze time. And Dave no murder or evil stuff!!!!

This kind of reminds me of a funny quote from actress Olivia Wilde: "A thousand years from now, they'll find tanning beds and assume we used to fry people to punish them."

@Nylak-Otter

9 ай бұрын

They do sort of resemble a modern version of the brazen bull with less pizazz. 🤔

The increased use of the Orville memes in recent episodes is bloody amazing!!!! More!!! MOOORRREE!!!!

@EveryFairyDies

9 ай бұрын

Only if you praise Avis.

safety warnings is no joke, they are hillarius at times. Facts boy is great when hes confused :) He make life a little bit happier and better.

Warning: standing under the spaceshuttle during launch can cause horrible injuries and potentially death

I'm so addicted to Simon Whistler and his EXCELLENT team of writers and Liam, I have started watching all of them again! OGBB baby

Love the random black books references, such a funny underrated show

I like the one on the fuel can lids, with a picture of a lighted match with a strike through.

(1) Curling irons have DEFINITELY been used for, shall we say, self-pleasuring on more than one occasion. (2) Best Buy is very much in business in the U.S. (3) I'll bet "ER" wasn't translated in the UK to "A&E" to avoid confusion with the cable channel by that name (short for "Arts and Entertainment").

@roguebanshee

9 ай бұрын

When he claimed that no one had used a curling iron that way, I just went "You poor naive fact boy".

@GhostWatcher2024

9 ай бұрын

Dont know why he was assuming it would have been plugged in.

I used to be an RSO. Believe me, you need those safety warnings. Particularly the one about not using while under the influence. I worked at a small range where 70-80% of our shooters were regulars, many of whom had been shooting for longer than I've been alive, but we still had morons coming high as a kite or piss drunk trying to shoot. Not our regulars, of course, I only mentioned that to highlight how few people came through who we didn't know. It's was also funny how few people are capable of simply using their eyes. Every day, we'd have at least 3 people come in asking if we had guns to rent. There was not a single firearm of any type displayed anywhere in our office. I've also seen people walk up to a counter with a case full of guns and a sign saying "rentals" on it and ask if they rent guns

That Leo rick roll was fantastic, thank you Sam

Laughed so hard at this video I can't wait for the 3rd one.

Love seeing a Black Books reference in there, brilliant show!

@richardaubrecht2822

9 ай бұрын

Black Books, Scrubs, Frogl Leap Studios rickrolling, really good choices today.

@EveryFairyDies

9 ай бұрын

@@richardaubrecht2822 What can I say, I have good taste! ...sometimes. 😆

@piperjaycie

9 ай бұрын

I still say jam jam jam jam every time I have toast and then pretend(usually) to throw the toast.🤣🤣

@craindrelescuillieres6629

9 ай бұрын

@@EveryFairyDies Wait is this Sam? Like editor Sam?

@EveryFairyDies

9 ай бұрын

@@piperjaycie Every time I'm stripping a chicken I start singing The Stripper and giggle like a child.

Thumbs up just for having a frog leap studios clip lol I love their metal versions of non-metal songs. My daughter was 3 or 4 and we used to listen to them together and I even have a video of her headbanging to one of their videos.

Back in the early 90's I had a Payday candy bar that literally had the warning on its label "May contain peanuts." I was like "Well I sure as @&#% hope it contains peanuts!"

I remember working with someone in a workshop, and they walked right in front of a gas space heater [as in blowing flames] with a bucket of acetone. I pointed it out to them after, and they just sort of shrugged it off. We all do some things without thinking, but I don't think they realised how combustible acetone was. Oh well, got away with that one at least.

@patrickday4206

8 ай бұрын

I was 14 and couldn't get the wood stove going looked under the sink saw acetone said flammable. I put only small amount in as it smelled really flammable. And i threw a match into it from as far away as I could. 😂 hahaha I was like 6 feet away and a fireball came out and burned my eyebrows and eyelashes 😅😂

On Hotel showers where it says “caution hot water”, I was honestly expecting cold custard to come out the taps.

I had a remote control that had stamped on the back "not dishwasher safe" ps...could you reset the teleprompter a few more times, that's fricking hilarious

Seen on a toaster pastry box: "Pastry may be hot when heated" Oh look, this floor is made out of floor

Yessssss! I needed this laugh today. Hello Simon! 😊

oh Lorelei I see you're a true lady of culture, this was very enjoyable, thank you♥️

@EveryFairyDies

9 ай бұрын

Why thank you! And you're welcome!

The way Simon says naughty makes me picture a guy with a monocle and a top hat sipping on brandy 😂😂😂

Had this clothes drying rack. A fairly standard thing, mostly about made of aluminum, the type you can often see in some corner or on a balcony of a small flat in the city even. It didn't have any sharp edges or anything, and the whole thing weighed less than 2kg, so it wouldn't exactly hurt if someone knocked it over on you. One of it's warning labels said "do not let kids under the age of 12 within a 5 meter radius of the product".

Yes, another!🎉

My favorite warning is on my testosterone vial. It just says "erection (hard penis)" and it always gives me a laugh.

@EveryFairyDies

9 ай бұрын

Oh my god, that’s brilliant.

I need like Simon mp3s ... I need them for ringtones ... alarm tones ... message tones and of course notifications when Factboi uploads onto Brain Blaze

“moves when in use” followed immediately by “use common sense...” 😂

I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. I needed this.

Very first one and I'm "oh Simon you're so innocent" Seriously think about it, they're long, slender and owned by young girls, usually those who can't buy more appropriate implements. I still tease my sister to this day about how when she was 13 she specifically requested for Christmas a mobile phone with "vibrating ring tone" both me and my mother gave her the same look

25:26 love the Leo Moracchioli Rickroll😂😂😂

That's last entry rectally thermometer killed me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Wicked!!!!

Simon's slightly confused allyship was kinda adorable 😂

the medication warning thing. the anxiaty meds i take for depression. lets just say u need them after reading the warnings. i personally think they have put everything on there just to cover them self.

@carlllewellyn

9 ай бұрын

My ones say may cause s****dal thoughts which always made me chuckle

@rmeredithm

9 ай бұрын

If you read the patient package insert, you’ll see the frequency at which each side effect occurs… many are less than 0.01%-0.1%. It’s absolutely to cover asses.

@rmeredithm

9 ай бұрын

@@carlllewellynany time you take a psychoactive medication, the neurotransmitters in your brain are affected… and suicidal ideations/psychosis/sleep disturbances/etc will always be a possibility.

Did he actually just say "My dad's someone" like "Do you know who my father is" energy? Idk why that made me laugh so hard but it did. I'm laughing SO HARD. ROCK HARD. Like the running boards on a Packard hard. Anyone hard?

I'm so happy that the teleprompter mishaps happened during this video instead of on one for a serious channel. TWICE!

@EveryFairyDies

9 ай бұрын

Could not edit for at least 5 minutes when it happened the second time, I was laughing so hard.

we need a 12 hour vid of just Simon growling

Had to replace a idler pulley on my car once. The box had a big red warning on it saying that you should not attempt to change a pulley on a running engine.

@sookendestroy1

9 ай бұрын

The classic in n out pully switcheroo

@captainfunktastic2255

9 ай бұрын

You can watch videos doing exactly that. But it's stupid, and dangerous. It's just bog standard CYA legalese that corporate lawyers demand to be on the box.

@Dragon_Slayer_Ornstein

3 ай бұрын

Sounds like a challenge to me.

"Go for the eyes Boo!" Lmao. Thank you for that one.

Jetski fuel tanks are just right there like a motorcycle but on a car the fuel tank is usually under the back seat so chances are there's probably children riding there.

@theodorgiosan2570

9 ай бұрын

Sometimes they are under the trunk as well. My car and my friend's car have them there, all the way at the back, very flat but wide and long. Some pickup trucks have a very flat one behind the seat standing up, and most newer pickups have them under one side of the bed.

Please make this show into a podcast 😁😁

Sam, I loved the inclusion of the Frog Leap clip. Leo is a master of his craft. I applaud your impeccable taste!

The quiet rage that erupted when he reset the prompter the 2nd time was hilarious.

Can I just say whoever slipped in Tim Curry from the TV show Psych you are my hero! 😅

Simon: "No one is putting that in their butt!" Oh Simon.... we thought you'd learn by now. No matter what item you think of, someone has shoved it up their butt.... or at least tried.

@stevenpeek8842

9 ай бұрын

And now I am mentally picturing some idiot with a lawnmower.

@pinkbubblesnake

9 ай бұрын

​@@stevenpeek8842they could turn it on and ride along with it

@ChaseSchleich

9 ай бұрын

@stevenpeek8842 I know for a fact people have used the gear shifter on a lawn mower and I wouldn't be shocked if a few women have straddled the engine lol

ngl 13:30 has taken me by much surprise Also, getting your body to produce milk without a pregnancy is possible, and some people do it, but it takes a good amount of effort

@WingedAsarath

9 ай бұрын

Yup! Every human body is capable of lactation with the correct hormonal signals. Typically this happens as part of pregnancy, but can of course be induced by professionals if the body doesn't get that signal for whatever reason.

Love the Baldur's Gate reference, though now I have it stuck in my head.

hi bald dapper british legend im about to finish this joint and watch this while i play gta we are big pimping

LOVED rhe "Black Books" reference meme!

I love Leo Morrachioli, Kudos for the clip!

love that clip from black books 😂

Thank you Sam, the video inserts are the perfect recipe with Simon's humor. Also loved the throwback to Scrubs TV show

@midnite_rambler

9 ай бұрын

Lorelei Brown was today's editor.

There's a running joke in the medical world "Don't put the red thermometer in the patient's mouth". Happens more often than you think