Gosh I love how she narrates this :)

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Thank so much! It took 208 practices!

@Airachnid6

4 жыл бұрын

@@TracyTheemesTV Practice makes Perfect! I am training and practicing myself as I do my best to present scientific and business projects!

@Airachnid6

4 жыл бұрын

I sure will take example from this.

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

@@Airachnid6 good luck!!!

@lenadahling

3 жыл бұрын

@@TracyTheemesTV Brilliant. Though I never understood why women would expect anyone but their immediate family to buy anything for them. It's not the 50s. If a man buys me anything, I then feel indebted, obligated. Until things get serious, and they become family, why complicate things? Do people pay for their friends? (I know they do sometimes but it's a give-and-take thing.) Some cultures do take the "my treat" approach quite seriously, even among friendships, and fight over the bill - but it almost becomes peacocking. I would imagine those cultures also have more traditional men, where "going Dutch" doesn't cut it. But considering men generally make more, I would argue it makes sense - though again, only if/when things get serious. Otherwise, indeed it is a power play.

love this. my bf and I brought this up early on when I invited him to hang out with me but expected him to pay the bill. he told me that he could, but since I invited him out that it would be more polite to pay. I honestly agree with it, if you invite someone out, expect to pay! this is fair for both genders. now, we both will switch off paying for things as we are in a relationship. it is more fluid then when we started out.

@AndNoted

4 жыл бұрын

I agree. Unfortunately, most girls will never invite the guy out on the first date

@xImBeaST12321x

4 жыл бұрын

@@AndNoted that is step 2 lol

@AndNoted

4 жыл бұрын

@Mike Jones It is not ingrained in men to approach. In fact, it is very fear inducing. It's because of social expectations and role responsibility that men have to approach. Most women are unable to do it.

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Sounds like you have figured things out!! Wonderful!

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

@@skmotorcycles8123 I didn't. I expected to pay so was thrown off when he was so adamant.

Finding someone who can challenge, but not compete with you, someone who will make you grow, as you grow with them is the goal. Conflict is inevitable, and the best way to deal with it is communication.

@sonnybowman

4 жыл бұрын

Women and men for that matter communicate with me all the time without saying a word. Problems will arise if you don't follow their script. Better to cut your losses and run.

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

@@sonnybowman definitely lots of way to communicate isn't there

@boomerangsruckflug8513

4 жыл бұрын

Sure, but consider that on a first day every word is special and if there appears a conflict and both insist to get their wish, it's just over. He was really not polite in leaving her that way, but I can understand him.

For me, one of the best TED talks I've listened to in a while. Bottom line is, we've all grown up to some social conditioning and societal expectations, so much so that a deviation from this perceived norm, would not be shipishly embraced..

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

I am so grateful for your comment!

So wonderful to watch a speaker that's funny, real and courageous in tackling a taboo topic! Two thumbs up, Tracey 👍👍. So proud of you!

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for believing in me all along!

Awesome talk! Not only is she brilliant, she hilarious and right. A must watch TEDx talk for everyone!

The start is when to show your values and show the path you want the relationship to follow. Yes, its like an interview, for both people. And yes, it's make or break. It's about finding the right person for you.

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Indeed!

@alarezomoosamuyi8526

4 жыл бұрын

True that.. These are things that we shouldn't shy away from talking bout, however how unsettling it might sound. But it'll go a long way to helping us avoid lotta pitfalls eventually.

Love this so much. As a lady, I'd definitely feel more comfortable and responsible if my partner lets me pay the bill sometimes. I hate to act like I'm not interested in or considerate about finances, so yes, I'm open to having difficult conversations. 💕

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Awesome!

It is very important to generate a good attitude, a good heart, as much as possible. From this, happiness in both the short term and the long term for both yourself and others will come. Dalai Lama

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Beautiful

@maribellelebre6809

4 жыл бұрын

Another priviledge male!

@sohangchopra6478

3 жыл бұрын

@@maribellelebre6809 He has been exiled from his home (Tibet) for many years by China. How is that privelege?

At last, an honest woman. I knew it was possible.

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

H ah... life is full of spectacular possibilities eh

Such important dialogue, money and power and relationships. Wonderful presentation - love it!

As a teenager this was particularly interesting because it makes me question whether my generation has the same ideas about gender, money and power or if perceptions are begging to change. Anyone have any thoughts?

@NizaSiwale

4 жыл бұрын

It still remains the same, it's more of the hunter and gathers mentality

@mohammedcherif3439

4 жыл бұрын

me too . but now I think it is old thoughts ?

@nickolasferguson3206

4 жыл бұрын

To me millennials are more willing to compromise their original beliefs for the sake and benefit of a relationship whereas some older folks have the mindset that man should always handle finances and whatnot

@antoninjanku3358

4 жыл бұрын

I know quite a lot of ladies that would gladly split/pay for themselves, but also a lot of those that demand that man pays (always)... And it's then up to the other one to set a standard

@TheChadPad

4 жыл бұрын

I am 25, so I hope that can give you some perspective on what generation I'm from and my ideas. I do believe that these social norms come from a place of reasonability, however, the problem I see lies in people taking social norms and making them RULES. Social DOGMAS, if you will. It HAS to be this way or else. You know it's normal for women to be the ones to cook in the kitchen? And it's normal for more men to pursue science? Well, where would the world be without male chefs and female scientists? Would you want to live in that world? I wouldn't. That's what I have to say to you, and I hope you'll carry that on

Not only is Tracy right, she's hilarious and has a beautiful spirit.

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much Lindi...

As long as we are honest about it I don’t see a problem in a man insisting on paying. I am not bothered by such a situation. The reverse also doesn’t bother me. I just don’t see the problem in wanting to maintain what we have been taught in terms of social norms. All of our lives we’ve been taught about how to treat a woman during dinner or how to treat a woman in general. It’s works out fine if the woman is in the same mindset. If I am with a woman that doesn’t line up with my sense of what a woman should be then maybe she’s not the one for me. I am of the mindset that a woman behaves a certain way and a man behaves a certain way. I am with a woman of that same mentality, although my situation definitely isn’t the old-school “the man always the better provider” situation. If my wife and I had different mentalities then we would be different people and we would not be together. Simple as that. Nothing wrong with a woman paying for the meal. There’s nothing wrong for with a man wanting to pay for the meal. Just go with the person that more closely aligns with your own set of beliefs. There’s someone for everyone. There’s no right answer when it comes to culture.

@xImBeaST12321x

4 жыл бұрын

Because it perpetuates gender norms, which chastises the women who want to express themselves in a masculine way, by wanting to be the worker rather then the stay at home mom. It all goes back to power hierarchies as mentioned early on, the man who makes the money has the power. If only men in society have the power, we live in an unjust society that suppresses women and leads to greater financial, political, economic, and household inequality. If a man wants to pay the bill that's fine, but if society demands men to always pay the bill, that's a problem.

@11chenswelt5

4 жыл бұрын

I agree. There are different lifestyles and that's OK. It is important to find someone with the same mentality. Btw I'm from Germany. So I only talk about dating in Germany. We don't have the most polite culture. Compared to other cultures we are used to talk very directly/ very efficient. But on the first date? A lot of men don't know, what they want. They learned about different mindsets and don't want to come to one's own decisions. Not for the moment. Now they want to gather more experience. And on the first date they are again looking for a new role to try out... Of course I can ask at the beginning: "Would you be OK, if we have a chat about how we gonna handle the bill?" The conversation could be extremely interesting or slabby. No matter what... Maybe he knows, what he wants and is honest. Maybe he only wants to give a new role a go and his old (hidden) mindset is a different matter. Maybe he will go back to his old mindset. Maybe he will change it. Maybe he gets mad at talking about financial issues or gender roles on the first date. In a first-dating-situation the question almost never lead to an open conversation. I could only clarify how gonna handle the bill of the first date. But why talking about? Who places the order have to pay the bill (in Germany). If the restaurant is within my financial ressources, I'm independent and there is no need to talk about. If the restaurant he chooses is frightfully expensive and he doesn't place the order for me, I order only one drink. So I can leave without loosing my face.

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Great discussion. Thank you for initiating it.

@celestialcircledance

3 жыл бұрын

Life's not always that simple . It be that you align in a majority of beliefs but not all of them and then you have to pick and choose what a deal breaker and what you can live with .

@liggerstuxin1

3 жыл бұрын

celestialcircledance I definitely agree with that. Sometimes you don’t get to chose the best but what you can deal with.

Lol she is good. The reason a man insist on paying for dinner is, every man know there is a real chance the women is testing him when suggesting, she will pay. And if u fail, you won't get a second date

@markc6714

4 жыл бұрын

Very true. You get labelled as "cheap". I find it easier to say "I'll get this one and you can pay next time".

@elijahgarcia5504

4 жыл бұрын

Lol why cant a man be romanced by a woman this way in this time and age women don't need a man for survival

@markc6714

4 жыл бұрын

@@elijahgarcia5504 that's the hypocrisy. Women say they want equality but at the same time they expect the guy to make them feel special and do all the work.

@elijahgarcia5504

4 жыл бұрын

@@markc6714 very true i

@biomorphic

4 жыл бұрын

If she really wants to pay, she will insist. If she doesn't want to, she will just propose it once. Or saying something like: should we share? Which means she doesn't want to, but in case she is ready.

I'm a women. On a first date I only go for a coffee, a meal is much too long and too serious. After having a coffee I can either suggest going for a walk (which I like much more than sitting for hours) or I can easily say good bye and leave and in my opinion it's a bit weird to talk about money even "before" a first date. On this stage I expect a very different conversation. Actually if a man would ask me how to handle the bill of a coffee I would think, he either ran out of money or he's a bit nuts. (Love is no deal and no business!)

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

haha...fair enough

Thank you!!! Great talk

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you!

@tracytheemes - fabulous as always. Nice to see you in your shining light. We first met when you spoke at the Roundhouse years ago. Well done! Thank you

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you!

thanks a lot for this video.

I loved the talk. Thank you

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you Cathy. I worked very hard on this...

Such a strong speaker and message. Very well told story, and makes so much sense. Would love to hear more of what Tracy has to say!

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

thank you!!

you are amazing honest in all settings. great role model.keep sharing

Wasn’t expecting this video but did I love it!

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you.

Interesting talk- seems it always come down to great communication!

I have picked up the check on quite a few first dates, and further into the relationship. I don't see a problem with it, and have never had much protest about it.

Couldn't agree with you more, Tracy Theemes.

Thank you

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

And thank YOU!

Nice video. Thanks for sharing. Keep up the good work. Regards, DIAAFIT

It is very very important

Loved this! Now to apply it in my own marriage!

This lady rocks.

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you!

Thanks

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you!

thanks for that great talk, really uplifting in times like these!:)

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you ...that means a lot to me...

Love his disappearing act though 😁

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

You wouldn't have if you were there. It was hurtful.

@boomerangsruckflug8513

4 жыл бұрын

@@TracyTheemesTV so why insist? If I'd be a man, it would irritate me, when she cannot take my present!

My new found hero 😻

Without money you can't find true love🤑😂

@bradleyp3655

4 жыл бұрын

@The Rockall Times That is why I don't date. I will not tolerate that attitude. Power and status is an illusion, it can be taken away just a much as it can be given. Morality and ethics are the true test of character.

@jasontheman3763

4 жыл бұрын

@The Rockall Times absolutely 🙌

@jasontheman3763

4 жыл бұрын

@@bradleyp3655 agreed the moment money runs out they the first ones to leave.

@xImBeaST12321x

4 жыл бұрын

That's why it should be backwards: only without money, can you find true love.

@jasontheman3763

4 жыл бұрын

@@xImBeaST12321xthat's true 😁😁

First meet is always only for a beverage and discussion about if he or she can pull their fair share of the financial relationship load. If they can't be fair then walk out and never look back and leave them to pay the small beverage bill.

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

I've heard lots of these "best practices"...does that work for you?

@rccrashburn

4 жыл бұрын

Sure it works every time. Let the unfair pay the entire bill since they feel privileged and entitled to a free drink.

Men kinda just go with the flow while women are out there expecting things from their potential partners. As long as women think that a man not paying the bill means they are cheap, men will fight their date to pay it. It really sucks because many of us want a partner that we can consider to be equal to us, but women don't want to be equal to us, they want their potential partners to be better than them in some way.

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

It's a land mine isn't it?

This was actually really good, hope it gets the views

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you. I have been delighted at the discussions and responses so far.

Brilliant. Though I never understood why women would expect anyone but their immediate family to buy anything for them. It's not the 50s. If a man buys me anything, I then feel indebted, obligated. Until things get serious, and they become family, why complicate things? Do people pay for their friends? (I know they do sometimes but it's a give-and-take thing.) Some cultures do take the "my treat" approach quite seriously, even among friendships, and fight over the bill - but it almost becomes peacocking. I would imagine those cultures also have more traditional men, where "going Dutch" doesn't cut it. But considering men generally make more, I would argue it makes sense - but again, only if/when things get serious, otherwise, indeed, it is a power play.

I know that this isn’t really a really heartfelt or thoughtful answer, but you could always just split the bill.

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

It requires a conversation... thought it would be a simple solution but it still got folks riled up...interesting, eh

The underlying purpose of the provider in a relationship is to provide.

@whitetigr8337

4 жыл бұрын

A relationship does not have to have a provider and one who is provided for. Both can provide, and be provided for, in some way.

My two cents, maybe find someone with similar values to yours, date someone with a lower value than yours or stay single. I always pay for dates it has nothing to do with power or money I'm just being a gentleman. Next thing I'll hear is that if I open the door for a woman I'm perpetuating outdated gender stereotypes. Jeez!

@EroShynOObi

4 жыл бұрын

There is nothing like being a gentleman by insisting on paying for a date. Real gentleman listens to his date and if she's not comfortable with beeing payed for, he will propose splitting the bill.

@Top5_Pilipinas

4 жыл бұрын

If I got invited, i expect a man to pay. If I invited him then Im ready to pay but I wont stop him if he wants to pay for his share.

@iamasmurf1122

3 жыл бұрын

Unlikely in this world to find any similar values to yours ! Here is a news flash women and men think differently always has always will they are different every single one ☝️

It's really simple: neither side should make an issue nor drama out of it. If anyone ever goes on a date with someone who puts calculation and expectation on money, then, they're not worth it for a relationship. You also can't generalise to say "all men" do this or "all women" do that... Seriously, get over it.

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Exactly!

Hurrah! You hit it on the nose.

beautiful

The day a woman asks me out then offers to pay, I'm gonna assume that her boyfriend is harvesting my kidneys later on She goes to the bathroom and I'm bolting

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

You made me laugh...thanks!!

@thapaj68

4 жыл бұрын

Haha.

@boomerangsruckflug8513

4 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

I think the individual with the most money should pay, regardless of gender. And the favor will be returned.

@EroShynOObi

4 жыл бұрын

The one inviting should be first to offer to pay.

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

How do you find this out?

The man insisting on paying is an older generation issue. But men under 40 have the reverse problem today where many women date to get a free meal or drink (no actual romantic interest). So if the woman doesn't offer to split or treat, there's a decent chance she's using the man for his money. The solution: no expensive meals first or second date until mutual interest is established. I even have proposed picnics where I cook a meal rather than have to worry about a bill.

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Great points here

@kishwatson

Жыл бұрын

@@TracyTheemesTV What state are you in? I'm currently working on my ted talk and would like some pointers from you. I'm in Georgia

I'm strange, and maybe it's a generational thing as well, but 2 solutions to common issues that I use: on "dates" the inviter pays the bill the invitee pays the tip. 2 blankets(His/Hers).

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

@@EddieFivespeed lots of reasons....its hard for men too

I think it runs deep in our evolutionary biology which prefers the display of wealth or at least the potential to provide. That might explain the bill situation.

@joelposidionsamacell

4 жыл бұрын

she is referring to the financial equality argument the entire time not just "biological need to provide" if someone wants to pays on them, chances are they are just using money as power/leverage in the bill paying situation. I think the main points flew right over you head

@CrazyLikeChris

4 жыл бұрын

​@@joelposidionsamacell I understood what she was talking about. And I agree with what you said, You seem astute. Im just giving another view on the situation a 3d picture if you will. :)

@joelposidionsamacell

4 жыл бұрын

@@Clifford_Banes its only physiological bc that's whats been ingrained into the minds of humans for so long. Time's have changed and we live in a capitalistic society and the only box to check off to provide "resources" is to have a 401k. Back then, it was ones ability to to hunt and gather. Modern ideologies on who is to pay is responsible for our fixation on one's wealth and "ability to provide resources"

@xImBeaST12321x

4 жыл бұрын

There is no biological reason men must pay for a bill anymore then a man must wear a Tuxedo and not a dress. It is completely determined by the "nurture", the societal ideologies, cultures. I'm not saying biology is irrelevant, it's just not the prime focus.

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Great discussions here...thanks CLC

I LOVE THE BLUE JACKET 💙

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

I was worried it would get lost into the back ground. Fussed for days about it...thank you!

@zb797

4 жыл бұрын

Tracy Theemes Where’d you get it??

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

@@zb797 Northern Reflections

@zb797

4 жыл бұрын

Tracy Theemes thanks! You’re talk was so inspiring I actually shared it with my professors for courtship and marriage & understanding the sexes. They thought it was incredible!! 😌🤙🏻

I like the idea of paying the bill, not because of the man thing...but I like to creat the illusion on myself of other person set up a second date and pay for it for balance. Not only dates, but for everything... going out with friends especially. If I like, I want to repeat...

Works for me.... in theory..... I would have done the same thing. 🤷🏾‍♂️🏃🏾‍♂️🤣

...every first date has expectations...but most likely the guy has a much narrower range ...so reaching in his pocket is somewhat of ‘pay to play ’strategy that accelerates return on his time investment...and he rationalizes to himself, really it’s only a single payment...so when she wants to grab the tab...to me it says...’don’t reach anywhere inside your pants ( at this particular time )’..because you’ll have ample opportunity to be fully vested only after paying the next ten instalments...

You can't expect to find fairness and healthiness relationships in romanticism

MY THOUGHTS ENTIRELY. I HAD SO MUCH OF THIS SHIT,I JUST DONT BOTHER ANYMORE.WHICH IS A SHAME.NEVER DATE A RUSSIAN WOMAN,THEY NEVER PAY.I HAD ONE ENGLISH WOMAN TELL ME SHE DOES NOT PAY FOR ANYTHING UNTILL WE ARE IN A RELATION SHIP.I DONT NEED THIS.

Men paying for dates is not a bad thing, this matter is trivialised too much. I also feel some parts of this talk were just to be politically correct so as not to take sides.

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

No kidding, eh. It's hard to isolate an issue and create a message that doesn't polarize people but creates conversations.

@Stephan__ox.

4 жыл бұрын

Tracy Theemes definitely hard. Most situations are general in summary but situational in real context

Trust a woman to mix dating with money. If the guy had left her with the bill, she'd be complaining about that too. Women just love to have something to complain about.

@firstjayjay

4 жыл бұрын

True story..

@xImBeaST12321x

4 жыл бұрын

Firstly you dont know that, cause she offered to buy the bill anyways. And you are complaining, and stereotyping, and are wrong.

@markc6714

4 жыл бұрын

@@xImBeaST12321x No I'm not wrong. 99% of women who offer only do it to be polite. If you accept they label you cheap and you never see them again

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

@@Clifford_Banes I'm married now to a fantastic dude. We talked about who should pay on every date. And he treated me sometimes. I treated him sometimes. And frankly he did not sweat the convo.

Lol 😂 If a girl wants to pay I’m more than happy with that. It means I can date again for nothing 😛 In The Netherlands we’re really good at splitting the bill or paying Dutch 😉 And all those prestige is just for egos. I mean if you want to be together in a relationship you will also pay for each other. And most woman work nowadays. I think the question is more about how much you spent on say food or drinks. If that’s different that’s more difficult.

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Do they say "going Dutch" in the Netheralnds too??

@BirdFlier

4 жыл бұрын

Tracy Theemes ehm no. I think that’s mostly how non dutchies call it. So we know we’re infamous for that 😅 Here we say something like “Zullen we de rekening delen?” Translated as Should we divide the bill? But yeah our culture is one where trading and money is rooted deeply. Although it depends on who you’re with. Most problems in relationships are about money, communication and addictions. Those 3 you can spot early on in dating 🤪

personally, I would have a different opinion but I have never been on a date :(

Money hai to honey hai...

Putting the cart before the horse. Men should pay for dinner UNTIL we actually have economic power. Women continue to earn less and pay more - we're expected to look a certain way (which comes with a cost or consequences in our earning and mating potential when we do not comply), many services openly charge women more (hairstyling and dry cleaning to name a few), our clothing is more expensive but of lesser quality so we have to replace it more often... Taking public transit to a date is seldom an option as being dressed up will often guarantee harassment so she has to spend on taxis. By the time many women have made it to a date, they may have already spent more than the dinner on just getting ready (hair, nails, dry cleaning, make up, waxing, taxis). A little perspective. Don't get this twisted. A man buying dinner does not entitle him to anything. But seriously...if a man isn't willing to pay for a freakin' meal why bother even considering him? If a woman wants to pay or split, then they should certainly have the option too., but I feel we should get grounded in the reality that having dinner paid for does not come with obligations.

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

I appreciate your point of view...and what I really think is needed is the open conversation...the decision is up to the people involved

What if they have butterscotch as well ?

@sophiawealthacademy

4 жыл бұрын

LOL

An I also

We're lost when we start not even allowing men to show a kind gesture. Nothing wrong with that. Can't see the point. Its not about power but inviting and being a gentleman.

@AndreJr9

4 жыл бұрын

Why can't the girl be polite and pay for at least what she consumed?

@juliaxxx117

4 жыл бұрын

@@AndreJr9 why not inviting someone?

@AndreJr9

4 жыл бұрын

@Adams Thinking that both should pay the bill doesn't mean you can't afford to pay on your own, dummy. I could use your argument to say that if you can't pay for yourself, don't leave your house.

@juliaxxx117

4 жыл бұрын

we don't need to exaggerate, if it comes to the real situation of dating in a poor society than of course they wouldn't even go to restaurant would they? they would find another way to meet and still he could show a gesture without money. Its not about the money at all, its about the manners and behavior.

@AndreJr9

4 жыл бұрын

@@juliaxxx117 What do you mean? The point she made is that it should be discussed, not that a man can't pay the whole bill, or that he has to.

wait...people still go on dates??? i thought it was hangout or netflix and chill now

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

I'm old.

Women just love to have something to complain about.

@paulaooook

4 жыл бұрын

Mukunda Jha are you... complaining?

مافي ترجمه😔

I was brought up in the age of bra burning and believed in equality,yet all the girls EXPECTED everything to be paid for.....today often still the same and that's Ok But l just pay anyway, keeps it simple.....if l invite a male friend out same practice..... I feel she s looking for a problem and " finding" one

@sonnybowman

4 жыл бұрын

Agreed and it is in the mirror staring back at her.

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

@@sonnybowman When I started dating I was just trying to figure things out and was surprised at how many assumptions people made...I believe in kindness and just asking how people want to handle things...seems the most respectful

@boomerangsruckflug8513

4 жыл бұрын

@@TracyTheemesTV hm. I'm a German woman. For me it would never be respectful to talk about money even before a first date, no matter who starts that conversation. In case it will become a relationship, then there'll be plenty of time to talk about how to handle money stuff. (Maybe you should learn to not combine your profession with love, it's not the same.)

Subtitle de do bhai video me

Really? It's about power? I was always taught it was just polite to pay.

@EroShynOObi

4 жыл бұрын

Not if you insist to pay. ;) Polite is to offer it.

I think that is the best tedtalk I have heard till now.

@pavelooo2289

4 жыл бұрын

Then you didn’t even scratch the surface.

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

You just made me so happy!

@tonykanaan7668

4 жыл бұрын

@@pavelooo2289 Well it hurts, but still, it is my favorite talk.

@pavelooo2289

4 жыл бұрын

@@tonykanaan7668 Don't take it negatively. I just meant that there are lots of better TED talks than this.

Started watching this video but then you went into stereotypes you don't know motivation of his heart... His mom might have taught him a gentleman always pays. It all might just be how you read into it.

@narumango22

4 жыл бұрын

Good point, she did make an assumption for why he left. Other than that everythings sounded alright.

@TheChadPad

4 жыл бұрын

Well, a gentleman certainly does not do what he did

@jejunamja

4 жыл бұрын

@@TheChadPad I'll agree but you just don't disappear that is not a polite thing.

@jejunamja

4 жыл бұрын

@@narumango22 I didn't know I got to the part where she tried to pay for it coming back from the ladies room without telling him and then she was mad that he did what she was going to do That's when I thought I'm done with his video.

@narumango22

4 жыл бұрын

@@jejunamja Pay and disappear? I don't think she was going to do that.

Since I'm an Egyptian and that's how it usually goes in the middle east the man always pays the bill it'll be awkward if a woman asks for paying the bill instead he won't let her and as she said he'll take it as she's insulting him lol

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Yes. There are many social conventions across this wonderful world...regardless having a discussion even one or two sentences sets up a different course for the date I think

@wardhassan8887

4 жыл бұрын

@@TracyTheemesTV yeah completely agree with you

I think you are rude. If he wanted to pay, that was fine. Why did you argue about it?

🎧🎥👆👉👆👉💗💎

She's a great speaker but I this whole talk is coming off a huge assumption. She's doesn't know for a fact that he left because she offered to pay, she's just inferring it. Most likely he made up his mind from the first 5 minutes into their date that he wasn't his "type". The rest of the date he was just being polite, except for the leaving w/o saying goodbye part. If you're a guy's type, he's not gonna let you paying for dinner stop him from pursing you.

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Maybe...hard to know eh...he sure seemed angry about the paying discsssion though

👍👍

Great piece of women empowering art

Most women want things for free.

Wrong, man does not pay "To establish his position of authority" he pays out of love and respect, and her date left because she showed an attitude and wasn't hot enough to tolerate the attitude.

@sophiawealthacademy

4 жыл бұрын

I don't think so. Some do of course. That man was not gracious. may during my dating life very loving and respsecful. but it was the uncertainty of things that led to muy confusion.

Aren't there supposed to be a certain goal / purpose behind a Ted talk? When is something regarded as superfluous or redundant? I have at least a few dozen topics which are more important than that. If Ted is going to be used to make serious change in the world it has to become more than just edutainment. Priorities are vital in any attempt to make serious corrections for betterment. Maybe I've misunderstood the concept.

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Yes. I believe that talking about economic equality and fairness is rather important.

@kailash2987

4 жыл бұрын

This talk is low on content n high on delivery.she just speaks interestingly. Belongs to stand-up category

@wasimoooo

4 жыл бұрын

@@kailash2987 Spot on. 15 minutes of fame for her, and 15 minutes of waste for the rest of us. Luckily I only hear speeches in 2x playback speed.

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

@@kailash2987 there sure is alot of discussion for a topic "low on content"

I’m guessing she must have been realy irritating on that date.

@trulyjeannette

4 жыл бұрын

From the sounds of it. Hahahaha

@kiboshkooks

4 жыл бұрын

Agreed, he probably just thought fuk this woman haha, so just paid to get out of their faster.

@sophiawealthacademy

4 жыл бұрын

From Tracy: I thought I was charming. But I was just learning how to date. And it was shocking to me that he left. It took months to recover.

Comments section here should get a applause for every comment made... Very smart people here could make to Ted talk themselves

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

I love the comments too Deepak! Exactly my objective: to start the conversation...

If you want women to pay like men, then women need to get paid like men.

Excellent! 👍

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks!

I would definitely let her pay the bill on the first date. Enjoy the free meal and the activities afterwards. But marriage, or even cohabitation would be no go. Power games in the house are the most tiring and exhausting thing ever. Societal system helps eliminate the games by giving roles based on biological realities. I would not walk away from the date though. I would definitely hold out and see if there are "bonuses" afterwards. And thereafter keep the phone number for a "rainy day" ....

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Fair enough

I think you massively ignore the needs of women who are going to have children in a biologically unequal situation.

Sorry but I don't agree with this speaker at all. I see the guy as being very gracious and kind in wanting to treat her like a lady. Maybe she has some kind of hang up? To have viewed his " sweet" gesture in such a negative way. I think he sounds very sweet 😊 She needs to date a guy who thinks exactly like herself. She doesn't have to make this into a big issue with her "talks".

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Walking out when you disagree is not very gracious. It was hurtful. I truly did not understand why he insisted on paying. I had asked HIM.

This woman is gold!

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

I needed that after some of the other comments...thank you!

*💪BREAK THE CHAlN💪* Stay home..stay Safe Like from kerala,INDIA ..കമന്റോളീസിന്.........ജയ് 7894

She should ask the gays to understand how they do since there are no rules there :P

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

I have and do... less social dogma in general in their relationships is what I hear

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

There is way less dogma. and they are the leaders in having polite conversations about who pays on dates. So I know us heteros should be able to learn from them.

@Fenix-fg6cs

4 жыл бұрын

@@TracyTheemesTV indeed

my comments get deleted?

@biomorphic

4 жыл бұрын

Probably jason is deleting freddy comments, and vice versa.

Old school guy. My No date list. No single mom's No divorce woman No women over 25 No tattoos( one tiny one maybe over looked. No Women who claim they need No one or No man In the words of Biz Markie: Never talk to a girl who says he's just a friend.

My first time hearing bs on this channel

@TracyTheemesTV

4 жыл бұрын

Oh dear

Nope, paying the bill isn’t about the power, but it’s about personality traits and is about figuring out early the mean person who will inevitably let you down in the moment of inconvenience for him. If even at the moment of him wanting to impress and get your attention he’s greedy to pay for things, he will definitely leave you in trouble same minute you loose your job or when he would need to provide for the kid or elderly parents. Generally speaking women are often in situations when they cannot earn same for instance when having a kid and in many times men love to play that let’s split the bill even in those situations or even making payments for kids needs her own responsibility only. Your responsibility for your wellbeing is to get out of relationships with these people before you start depending on them. Just filtering out greedy and untrustworthy guys, get out of bad relationships quickly

Why cant a man be romanced like this , in this time and age women dont need a man for survival

@krisreeves5934

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah you don't know what you are talking about think you are leaning towards the ones that have lots of love for lots of men oh yeah and a big bag of snowflakes

@elijahgarcia5504

3 жыл бұрын

@@krisreeves5934 whatever youre probably ones of those users or takers, that know nothing about giving!

@krisreeves5934

3 жыл бұрын

Alright then

@krisreeves5934

3 жыл бұрын

Your covid check ran out yet boy