Robert cackling with unrestrained glee at the mayhem and violence done by unsupervised children against each other is beautiful.

@AaronMk91

8 ай бұрын

Listen to him laugh at the chaos caused by teenagers made me think: he would have really enjoyed being at the BSA reservation I worked at a couple times. We had two camps there, one was disciplined and supervised enough that everyone working there behaved like normal teenagers or twenty year olds, except one isolated case when I was there but that was dealt with within a week and he was asked to leave. The other one was just supervised enough none of the teenage and young adult staff did anything dangerous or anything bad, but they were unsupervised enough to always be super weird and had wild chaotic energy for the entire two months the season was open

@TheNwr1

Ай бұрын

It was funny at first but it got a little….too much towards the end.

"You see, Mr. Bond, I've always been a big fan of amusement parks. When Action Park closed, I bought a few of their attractions."

OK, the fact that Donald thought about dropping money into this and backed out because it was "too unhinged" is really saying something.

@k33k32

8 ай бұрын

I don't think trump has any sense of fun or sense of humor.

@ludo_narr

4 ай бұрын

Since the Trump presidency, that has retroactively become just the sickest of burns.

@Virjunior01

2 ай бұрын

He was _almost_ normal back then. The older he got the more his already feeble brain melted

I survived Action Park as a kid. The best part was where all the water slides dumped out into this common pool area, often at intersecting angles, so you'd come rocketing out and hit the water, probably have some other kid slam into you while you were trying to find the surface, and then come up to somebody blasting you in the face with a water cannon. Lovely.

@Mind_Crimes

8 ай бұрын

Username checks out here.

@mbeecher9921

8 ай бұрын

A park like this would have kept me out of so much trouble as a kid.

@Vesperitis

8 ай бұрын

I love how you said you “survived”, and not “went to” or “visited” Action Park.

I get the impression that Robert is most famous amongst employees at bumper car places, because there's just a picture of him saying not to serve him

"Sophie, you can't make an Action Park without breaking a few kids, Sophie."

My enjoyment of this old episode is greatly enhanced by the fact that Garrison is the guest and I recently watched another old episode where Robert mentioned he was training child soldiers and ether Sophie or the guest (I can't quite remember) responded with "Yes, I know, I've met Garrison." I'm still experiencing giggle fits over it.

Speaking of putting my life in the hands of a fourteen year old tripping on acid... One of the girls in my driver's ed car told me afterwards that she had been tripping on acid super hard before driving our group onto the freeway for the first time.

@grindcoreninja6527

8 ай бұрын

Sounds like fun on bun wooo.

I noticed Garrison putting in the effort to modulate his talking speed and enunciation this episode, and I think there was a lot of improvement! Keep up the good work!

@mookinbabysealfurmittens

8 ай бұрын

Garrison did great! His script is thorough - and frankly a super fun one - and when reading, he sounds really nstural (not stilted, which I appreciate cos it's distracting to me - and fwiw Robert & Sophie too, of course). And I really love the dynamic between the three of them. It brings out how much Garrison really shines with that quick wit, super sense of humour, and imo really sweet charisma. Cheers, Garrison!

"worst case scenario, you burn the snakes"

I for one admire Robert's bumper car child bloodthirst

@noxthemc7717

8 ай бұрын

You are not alone

I have a feeling that the alpine slide killed a lot of "employees" who "snuck in at night."

Important distinction to be made between Disney World in Florida and Disneyland, in CA. Disney World has very few park guest medical incidents… largely because Disney World is built so that the ground at areas like Epcot, etc, are the second floor, with a behind the scenes system below them. Disney maintains its own EMT service, fire department, etc. If a serious accident or medical emergency occurs on grounds, their emergency responders quickly respond to stabilize, while shuttling the person out of view into the BTS areas and out of the park. If someone falls over with a heart attack, the EMTs respond, and then “hand-over” the patient to other alerted medical first responders to take them to emergency rooms… Ultimately if you die in Disney World, you’re not being called with a time of death until you’re well off the property and another jurisdiction’s statistic. Another fun fact about that is there are almost no locking doorknobs in Disney World, though almost all of the staff “crew members” doors are unmarked but have visible (non operating) locks on the doorknobs. If you show someone a closed door with a visible lock on it, they presume it’s locked and don’t bother trying it. Of course everything is well video surveilled from entrance to exit, so if you do try one of those doors it will open, and you may quickly find yourself being escorted from the park with a lifetime ban.

@jaythebarbarian195

8 ай бұрын

This guy's been to Disney Jail.

there were just so many beautiful details here... the cattle prod, the casual violence, the freaking water snakes....

@noxthemc7717

8 ай бұрын

The water snakes were what really got me

@fishyy311

8 ай бұрын

@@noxthemc7717 Robert detailing why he shouldn't be allowed within 100 ft of bumper cars was a very close second

I think this is really a Behind the Bastards on Robert himself omfg I'm crying laughing at his thought process

The garden hose at the top of most water rides was not just to lube you up. The water was ice cold on purpose to make you get over your fear and get on the goddamned slide.

@done.6191

8 ай бұрын

A true "put the lotion in the basket!" moment.

Action Park is so over the top that Jackass did a sendup of it in their ‘Action Point’ movie, the jackass version was positively tame in comparison to the real thing 😅

"daylight come and we start the show" was right fucking there, Robert, god dammit

@sigmascrub

8 ай бұрын

He's a hack! And a fraud! 😡

Whenever I hear about this place I'm reminded of a place I went to with my class in Toronto, Canada when I was a kid in the late 80s. It was called Adventure Playground and there are a couple news articles about it and it looked like a scrapyard but with wooden forts spread out around the area. Kids would be given hand tools including saws and hammers, a pile of scrap wood and we were told to go add on to the forts in whatever way you want. Basically unsupervised. It was surreal even as a kid, let alone thinking about it now.

i think you're onto something with that leaded gasoline remark, because action park went out of business the same year the ban went fully into effect.

Went to Action Park as a kid and it really was insane as it sounds. Even as a kid I remember being werided out about how there were over grown area with rides that were no longer open (what I now assume to be failed rides). It also have cliff jumping which is something I always wanted to do...yeah that is how I injured myself at Action Park. Instead of staying jack knifed I rolled into a cannon ball and then hit the water from 25 feet up. Smacking the water really did feel like hitting concert. I was bruised all over my thighs and lower back. I will say a life guard did come after me right away. I could have gotten out by myself it was still nice.

@done.6191

8 ай бұрын

By the time I went the Cannonball was closed and it was said it was because a person didn't make the loop, fell at the apex, and broke their arm. Never was sure if that was why.

Man, just when I thought the world would finally get the Wil Wheaton reckoning it needs, justice once again eludes us...

@grindcoreninja6527

8 ай бұрын

The moment his name is mentioned my mind immediately defaults to "shut up Wesley".

@kevinkorenke3569

8 ай бұрын

​@@grindcoreninja6527my mind immediately says "dice curse"

I remember watching ads for this park when I was a kid and being so jealous that I couldn't go. I don't know when it's appropriate, but I can't wait to let my kids listen to this episode.

@Spyhermit

8 ай бұрын

Anyone who listens to this and doesn't feel an intense sense of loss for what might have been is totally soulless. I weep for what might have been.

@stinkytoy

3 ай бұрын

​@@Spyhermit "Anyone who doesn't miss Action Park doesn't have a heart. Anyone who wishes it was still around doesn't have a brain."

@MsSjofn

10 күн бұрын

I remember the ads and wanting to go myself, and being mad my parents wouldn't let me ... years later I realized part of why I wasn't allowed was because my parents loved me and wanted me to reach adulthood.

Just hearing the audible *clank* of their critical thinking shut OFF when ATV fun comes up, made my workday.

Garrison repping Thought Slime? Time to pitch a Cringe Corner/Behind the Bastards crossover!

@Cerise4697

8 ай бұрын

Thought Slime and Sophie from Mars did a Wim Hof Cringe Corner like a year before BTB did, I think they really ought to do a crossover at some point :D

@taylor6528

8 ай бұрын

thought slime was on it could happen here, iirc! i'd love to see her come on for a btb episode so much honestly

@Cerise4697

8 ай бұрын

@@taylor6528 Could you point me to the episode of ICHH where she was on? Google hasn't been yielding much success

@woobiefuntime

7 ай бұрын

@@Cerise4697 they could have a episode about them. Framing people for sex crimes is pretty bad .

@embersaffron5522

2 ай бұрын

I'd prefer not having folks that frame people for sex crimes on here...well...not as guests anyway

The snakes at least weren't actually a danger. Cottonmouths don't live that far north and rattlesnakes don't live in ponds so they were almost certainly common watersnakes. Watersnakes bite a lot but aren't venomous so they can't harm humans beyond drawing a small amount of blood.

@mxpants4884

8 ай бұрын

Thanks, I was wondering about this as someone who lives in an area where "water snake" implies cottonmouth.

@biofoot7874

2 ай бұрын

I just so badly want this info to have been on a sign at Action Park during its heyday

@technopoptart

Ай бұрын

yeah but with the filthy water the infection rates had to be sky high

@Filbi

18 күн бұрын

okay but if I go to an amusement park I expect to be bitten by zero wild animals, venomous or no

Corporate side of theme parks? Disgusting, good to learn about. The architecture and design that goes into immersive entertainment? Fun to learn about.

@marocat4749

8 ай бұрын

Yep, its weirdseeing disney being relative save,if youignore the psychological wellbeing of their employees, and they do reuse and sellood apearently?! But else reee, fun topics. Are tere more horrific fun parks worth covering. :P

I loved going here as a kid. Went almost every summer. My Dad and brother were the only one in our family to get hurt because he was racing my older cousin on the Alpine Slide and flipped the sled. (This was before they required helmets) My Mom was pissed but that never stopped us from going back! That place was the best.

Let me tell you about the rides: There was a looping water slide. First one ever, AFAIK. It only operated for a few dizen hours cumulative time. I was there, when itwas operating, and was denied access to the ride because I was wearing corduroy OP shorts (thank God for shitty ‘80s fashion!) The wave pool had the highest death count. It was no worse than any wave pool since, but they let anybody in. Half the people couodn’t swim, and there was no oifeguard worth a damn. The alpine slide was designed so that you could easily go so fast that you would fly off the track. Into viciously sharp gravel. A friend broke his ribs on this. The speed slide required you to cross your feet. If you didn’t, it would give you an enema. It also gathered spectators because it often ripped bikini tops off. There was a tank ride where you shot tennis balls at other tanks. If you hit them in the right spot, they would spin wildly. This was where you f9und 9ut who y9ur real fr8ends were.

I have had it with these m*****fkin snakes on these m*****fkin go-karts!

I adore Garrison, I love his sense of humor, his cadence is delightfully enthusiastic, and his choice of subject matter never fails to delight. BUT. Each episode he hosts, he will chose one word to hilariously mispronounce over and over again to the point where it becomes distressing. Last one I watched, he kept pronouncing "wehrmacht" as "wiemar". And fair enough, it's fucking German, if they wanted their language to be pronounced right, they'd have made it fucking pronounceable. But those two particular things mean VERY different things in German history. The one before that was some other Slavic thing. But today I am having my autistic freakout over "ambleeance".

Garrison missed the best part of the Man In The Ball In The Ball story: not only did the ball itself slip off the track during its one and only test run, it then proceeded to roll down the hill, jump the tree berm, and then LAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY SEPARATING THE TWO PARKS, AND THEN ROLLED DOWN THE HIGHWAY! Possibly with a dude inside of it at the time, details are kinda sketchy.

Didn't read the description and was legit surprised it's about my hometown. Vernon, NJ, where you can ski down ice in the winter, get horrific injuries from Accident Park in the summer, and if you were there in the 70s, head on over to the playboy club. New Jersey is a magical place.

TLDR; It was all really fun until people started dying. Also there was a movie about this where the guy was played by Johnny Knoxville.

@k33k32

8 ай бұрын

Perfect casting

Class Action Park is a wild documentary, if you're looking for some first hand accounts of that place

I just can't help thinking about that Mr Show sketch about THE DEVASTATOR.

Schlitterbahn is amazing! I almost drowned in the wave pool as a kid.

As a D/FW kid in the 90s, I can assure you that a *lot* of kids survived Six Flags on LSD

Great episode but Garrison keeps saying 'Concrete and Cement'... concrete is the finished product, made of cement and other aggregates. After it cures, it's all just Concrete. (From: a concerned WTYP fan)

Heyya. Love the podcast! Weird fact check. There is actually a vaccine that is specifically given to woman to help prevent certain types of cervical cancer. Just in terms of the phrase "No vaccines for cancer." Just thought I'd throw in that little tidbit :)

@k33k32

8 ай бұрын

I believe you're referring to the HPV (Human Papillomavirus). It can cause cancer in both men and women. You're right, the vaccine for HPV is the Gardasil 9 vaccine.

My parents would never let me go to Action Park, and yet all summer I would get bombarded with the ads for it to the point where the TV was basically mocking me. But in the last few years as “hey Action Park was a thing” has become an internet topic, I’ve felt somewhat better about it. At least I have all my limbs. But it still looked really cool on tv. BTW route 94 is basically a country road. It’s one lane in each direction. Not ideal for karting but at least not a major highway either.

I really like Garrison, so I'm gonna listen to every minute of this.

29:25 Well now hold on, just about every workplace has whisper networks about where you can go to hide from management. It’s up to you whether you use that space to drink, smoke, cry, start a union, or just finally sit down for 5 minutes.

There were water parks long before Action Park. FWIW, I went to Action Pari several times in college. When 19 year old guys look at a ride and say: “There is no way this thing is safe,” you inow it’s a wild place. Later in life I was a ski instructor there, after it was sold to Intrawest.

@eryqeryq

8 ай бұрын

I grew up near Action Park and went there so many times, it was awesome. Stayed away from the really insane stuff.

@frogisis

8 ай бұрын

I know it's a typo but "Action Pari" sounds delightful, just like some rude 14yo absolutely gone off wine sending you barrelling ass-first down a slide into the Seine

Its was a pure meritocracy: no false divisions based on who has merit, just whoever shows up gets to make a ride.

39:56 that simultaneous "Ahhhh" by Robert & Garrison was pure joy!

It's really cute how Garrison says "ambliance".

I have no idea what Gene Mulvihill looked like, but the impression I'm getting is the unholy love child of Walt Disney and Grunkle Stan from Gravity Falls.

What are the odds, do we think, that Action Park was Stockton Rush's favourite theme park as a kid?

48:00 - So... The ATVs become the ambulances of the Machedicine field? 🤣

There were an alpine slide where I grew up. The one time my parents took me to ride on it, I plowed full-speed into the slow asshole in front of me. It occurs to me now, almost 40 years later, that sticking people in a cart with almost no brakes and rolling them in groups down a narrow-ass track is a bad idea even when the people aren't 8-year-olds with no concept of self-control.

I love how sometimes Garrison is so elated that all he can do is let out a little squeak of joy

Man, Roberts a real bastard in this episode. This is one of the funniest episodes ever.

@ninegearcrow

5 ай бұрын

This is like the series finale of Behind the Bastards where you learn that Robert was the real bastard the whole time 😄

@foiltarmogoyf6203

5 ай бұрын

@@ninegearcrow The real bastards were the Roberts we made along the way.

Is there a way to do the tank arena in a responsible way? Cause it sounds RAD

@Agent00Pi

8 ай бұрын

I mean, if you can't shoot flaming tennis balls at the employees, what's the point?

I have to wonder what things would have looked like if this dide was born late enough to experience Roller Coaster Tycoon during his childhood

I worked at a small ski resort in rural Wisconsin that turned into a Waterpark in the summer. There were two alpine slides that were exactly as desciribed; all speed and concrete and injuries. I had no idea they weren't completely common. Thankfully the ski lifts didn't go over the tracks so no paralyzing neck trauma. Also had go karts and poorly maintained water slides.

I can just imagine how much sexual coercion and sexual assaults happened at this park.

This guy sound like someone mysteriously disappears or gets murdered in a weird way, not someone who just dies of old age at his home.

Oh please. I grew up in the fifties. If there had been a nuclear powered quarter midget ride, my parents would have encouraged me to go.

What kind of snakes did they have? Because I'm from a part of the country where "water snake" is, by default, assumed to be a cottonmouth.

That looping water slide though: low key cool.

I am so jealous of anyone who got to go to this amusement park. Everything dangerous just makes it more appealing. I'll just have to muddle by with the tiny fairs with the stoner operators.

@MykePagan

8 ай бұрын

I went there. Several times. As a frat boy with other frat guys. We were of course drunk. It was every bit as awesome as it sounds. I was also a ski instructor there for 10 years

@MykePagan

8 ай бұрын

There were water parks long before Action Park. FWIW, I went to Action Pari several times in college. When 19 year old guys look at a ride and say: “There is no way this thing is safe,” you inow it’s a wild place. Later in life I was a ski instructor there, after it was sold to Intrawest.

RIP Will Wheaton episode. We hardly knew ye. 🫡

Fun fact: In Finland, there is a chain of mostly in-mall mini theme parks called Actionpark. I am not implying anything, but the owner of the largest retail park that houses their flagship park is a very outspoken libertarian...

They won't duct-tape you to a board upside down in the pool to drown, but Wayfair will just cut your throat and leave you to die.

@theangryholmesian4556

8 ай бұрын

What?

The love of Robert's life was a Jersey maniac named Gene.

There is so much joy in Robert's voice in this episode, thank you for spreading it!

Dang I was really hoping this podcast would be about Evermore/Ken Bretshneider

@nimi-nae

8 ай бұрын

Still good stuff though.

@marocat4749

8 ай бұрын

Idonknow if jenny nickleson didnt cover that already in detail over 4 hours , but there must be other "fun" parks.

@nimi-nae

8 ай бұрын

​@@marocat4749Ah fair

@nimi-nae

8 ай бұрын

A Utah special would be good though. Soooo much to cover here.

I laughed so hard. Well done 👍

Every time I heard the words "alpine slide" listening to this I kept thinking you were talking about the one at Seven Springs in southwestern PA.

Fun fact: thanks to that Six Flags haunted house fire I might not be here! My mother was in a group that had just gotten out after the electricity cut. Seeing that burning up inspired her to be an EMT and volunteer firefighter. Neither of those were very safe occupations for a 5'3" lady in NJ in the 90s 😅

Am I the only person who feels like they're listening to McLovin? BTW, great job Garrison!

Do people think Evans speaks too fast?! I listen to the pod at 2x speed and kind of wish I can do 2.5x like I do when I listened on spotify.

For those interested in Oregon: Mt Hood Ski Bowl has a alpine slide like the one described!

New BtB to listen to right as the Fun Half ends? Thank you, baby Jesus.

I loved Action Park. Weirdly never realized it was dangerous when I was going there, but was there for the Cannonball thing (the blue tube thing) and had a great time on the Alpine Slide.

I knew it would be Action Park as soon as I saw the title.

Re: de-escalating from go-karting to freeway driving. I had to de-escalate from a 3-day Quake (Quakeworld) party to driving 400 miles back home. I'm getting a little careless and instead of looking in the rear view mirror, my Quake instincts ALMOST kick in - which meant I just barely stopped myself from flicking the steering wheel to do a quick 180 to look behind me, and another 180 to return back. Probably not a great idea at 85-90 MPH. Needless to say, I found the next exit to find a hotel I could sleep off 8 hours at. But it was memorial day weekend so I had to keep going another three exits. My god that 6-8 hours sleep was worth every penny. Since this was the mid 90s it also meant dragging my computer and a 21 inch behemoth of a CRT into the hotel room so it would neither indent the leather in the car nor be attractive to anyone willing to break a window.

Garrison gets a pass because he's from Canadia, but the pronunciation is app-a-LATCH-ens

…Ambleeance?

@professorhazard

8 ай бұрын

The U is just a suggested sound

Wait, Thoughtslime said Batman wasn't always a a fascist? So he's definitely always a fascist then

I've seen a couple of other shows about Action Park, but I never knew that alcohol was served or the snakes in the water! Or the tanks??

I used to go to the mountain called mountain Creek in Vernon when I was a kid we would drive up from the New York-New Jersey area about 45 minutes to an hour and go night skiing I'm practically sheets of ice full-speed completely drunk. It was equally onstage during the winter as it was during the summer.

I must admit, I was expecting amusement park to be a euphemism about the Grafton free town project. I was wronged so I learned new stuff today.

I do wish i could have gone there. I was (am) not strong but, also, not fragile. I think i would have fared well at action park.

"a hack and a fraud" A Jay and a Mike?

Hold tf up. Will Wheaton?!?! I NEEEED that episode!!!

@caelvanir8557

8 ай бұрын

It’s a bit they do

There absolutely are vaccines for certain cancers. HPV vaccines prevent cervical cancer and Cuba has a lung cancer vaccine just to name a few.

OG Schlitterbahn was the best for getting drunk in. I miss when you could smoke in waterparks.

i quite like his singing voice actually

OMG I forgot about the tennis ball tanks!!! Thank you!

@BehindTheBastards

8 ай бұрын

Keep listening!

@done.6191

8 ай бұрын

@@BehindTheBastards Finished it up. Great episode...looking back at the times I went there, I am surprised I survived. I moved away from the area in '86, and I am surprised the place made it to the 90's TBH.

Garrison did great! His script is thorough - and frankly a super fun one - and when reading, he sounds really nstural (not stilted, which I appreciate cos it's distracting to me - and fwiw Robert & Sophie too, of course). And I really love the dynamic between the three of them. It brings out how much Garrison really shines with that quick wit, super sense of humour, and imo really sweet charisma. Cheers, Garrison! You're awesome! (Sophie, could you please pass along this message to him? Lol jk ofc, but you should tell him he's great, just like, generally.)

"The Libertarian Theme Park of your Dreams/Nightmares" Isn't that the USA?

Robert saying the quiet part out loud for this one 😂

Still listen to this at atleast 1,5 speed or. 2 except for going to sleep than just normal speed

Man you took me back with Schlitterbahn Robert 🤭

Here's the crazy thing: Vernon Valley/Great Gorge and AP were common School Sponsored Trips for those of us in Northern NJ. I was taken, by my school, to this crazed place.

AMBLEEANTS

I'm so mad this place closed down and I never got a chance to go 😭 I told my partner that it is my ideal honeymoon spot.

This is very much like how Mt hood skibowl was ran in the early 2000s