The harsh reality of being transgender in a Muslim Arab family
In this video, I'm sharing my personal journey as a Muslim Arab transgender man and how it led to my estrangement from my family over the years.
Growing up, I struggled with people-pleasing behaviors and not standing up for myself, hoping to gain acceptance from my parents. However, these efforts only delayed the inevitable, and I eventually faced the painful reality of being abandoned by my family instead of finding the acceptance I craved.
In this candid and heartfelt discussion, I delve into the emotional complexities of navigating identity, family dynamics, and societal expectations. I share the challenges I faced, the lessons I've learned, and how I'm now on a journey of healing and self-discovery.
Through my story, I hope to shed light on the often untold experiences of transgender individuals within the Muslim and Arab communities, and inspire others to trust themselves and prioritize their own well-being.
Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more content on personal growth, identity exploration, and mental health.
#FamilyEstrangement #TransgenderJourney #SelfHealing #muslimidentity #ArabCommunity #PersonalGrowth #LGBTQCommunity #IdentityExploration #Empowerment
Пікірлер: 56
Man I cannot express my gratitude and feelings towards this video. I am also a trans man from a muslim Arab household and I often feel alone with my experiences. I wish you the best man- take care and good luck
So proud to see you have come so far
@Elmocello
3 ай бұрын
Thank you!! I appreciate you ❤
You're being judged no matter what, so be who you want to be. All the best on your marriage.
@Elmocello
3 ай бұрын
100%. Thank you, I appreciate it.
As a Muslim mother of four children, I'll be proud to have a son like you. You show them your love and respect and und understanding. May you and your family honour the love and family ties between you and not give up on each other. I also like that you put a Kuffiya in the background - may the people in Gaza always be in our minds.
@Elmocello
21 күн бұрын
@umyzn171 Thank you for your kind words, it means a lot to me. I pray for reconciliation always. Ameen 🤲🏻🇵🇸
Thank you so much for sharing with us. Sometimes our own life journey takes us away from some of our family connections. What I have done in my life with family is interact on my terms or from a distance. I don't put myself in spaces where they can make me feel uncomfortable. I have love for them but I limit that contact to keep our relationship in a healthy or neutral place. Like with my dad, I call him occasionally to say hi and cover a few topics of interest to him and that's it. He is not capable of more nor will he change. I have given myself the grace to be okay with the fact. This is our current relationship dynamic and I don't need to fix it. Congratulations on your upcoming marriage. Wishing you and your partner all the best.
Hey Nate, bless you man. Keep your chin up. There are A LOT of people in this world who happily root for you and would welcome you into their circles and chosen families. Youre blessed to be alive.
what a brave man ... I hope you find your true self
This is one of the most needed and courageous and likely life saving videos for so many vulnerable people out there. It’s hard as fk in a traditional family / Muslim family way of old school thinking. Not bc there is something in the Qur’an about it, but rather bc of not using one’s god given critical thinking skills.
@Rangoon672
15 күн бұрын
It’s haram
Love and solidarity to you. ❤
@Elmocello
3 ай бұрын
❤
So inspirational!! Keep it up buddy 💙🙌
@Elmocello
3 ай бұрын
Thank you sir 🙏🫶
Thank u for your story . It really resonates with me, this pain this disappointment towards my parents is so strong . I no longer have an illusion that i can change them , i just want to get out of my current situation….
Genuine question: I'm a biological girl. I've never thought about my gender growing up. I was a girl and never questioned it. I'm 19 btw I wanna know how do you guys know that you're a man or woman? I mean I as a woman have no idea what it feels like to be a man. Like I always wondered that about trans people 🤔 also how do I know that if I'm trans? Are there any symptoms?
@callum.timothy
3 ай бұрын
It's slightly different for every trans person, some just know from early childhood that they're a boy or girl "on the inside", but for others (like me), it's more complicated to figure out. There's no words for what it "feels like" to be a gender in the same way you can't describe what happiness or temperature "feels like". Signs of being trans are things like always wishing you were the other gender, being distressed by your physical development at puberty, your body feeling wrong because of its gendered characteristics, unease when someone calls you she and feeling happy when called he, among many others, but it all comes down to seeing yourself as a different gender from your sex and not having any other explanation for these things (eg as a coping mechanism after abuse).
@missethio7394
2 ай бұрын
Experts say this transgender stuff and even homosexuality came from trauma.I’m a woman and I don’t kno what being a woman feels like. When they tell u I feel the opposite gender that’s how u kno they don’t even kno what they saying
@FoundSheep-AN
2 ай бұрын
@@callum.timothya lot of people felt they were Napoleon
@helengyamfiboateng9149
2 ай бұрын
It's just another form of con...fusion it's not real
@empress2529
11 сағат бұрын
I don't know how much biology you studied, but today it is more and more scientifically clear that the genetic makeup XY or XX (there are also XXY YYX, etc), doesn't necessarilly ends up creating a XY baby male or a XX baby girl. If during gestation the embryon / fetus does not recieve, "absorbe' the gender hormones, or does not receive enough gender/sex hormons (e.g. due to faulty receptors), the result can be a baby girl, which is in fact a XY: genetically a male (taller, stronger, without ovaries and eggs), as the DSD, in the Olymic games... probably the boxer Imane Khelif, for example. Also, it seems that some pregnant mothers develop antibodies protein against male hormones of her fetus, NLGN4Y (& the antibodies % increases during pregnancy w male sons, only) etc it seems that the gender is defined during pregnancy, and gender not necessarily match the original XY XX genetic setup Probably, you as me, are a girl, whith a matchup gender: girl, attracted to males, a "straight" (I don't like this term, as other options are "crooked" while all genders are right )
thanks for talking about this issue
@Elmocello
16 күн бұрын
@@lightagainstdarkness99 thank you for listening 🙏
why our story is same >.
You need to repant and learn about real islam. Whatever your family had done is not real islam. The people who are not from your bloodline, background, and culture will never accept you. As arabs we know this. Not everyone is your friend and looking after your interests. The Western world is very hedonistic and lost. Think about this, would you rather give up your whole culture, traditions, religion, and community for something that will not grant you happiness in the long run. Dont sell yourself short. Go back to your roots, learn about your culture and background to at least have a grasp of who you truly are, not this trans westren nonsense.
@Elmocello
Ай бұрын
Lol a lot of assumptions being made here with no knowledge whatsoever. Let's start with the fact that being trans is not a western concept. You need to get that through your head first. Secondly, I probably have more of a grasp on who I truly am than you do, and I'm very much aware of my culture and religion, thank you very much. Just because I have lost touch with certain family members at this time, doesn't mean I gave up anything. I am happy, I am comfortable, and I am alive. I am surrounded by community where I am currently as well as from every country I have ever been to. I am accepted and cared for. Don't project your miserable life on to me lol. You don't know me, so don't act like you do. God bless and goodbye.
@lonesome273
Ай бұрын
@@Elmocello طيب، اذا انت عربي من الطبيعي ان تعرف ان التحول حرام فلا داعي ان اذكرك. و اغلب المجتمعات الغربية فاسدين اخلاقيا و رجعين في مجالات كثيرة هذا واقع لاجدل فيه. اغلب الغرب عنصرين، و ينظرون إلى العرب نظره دونيه. اكبر مثال ردات فعل الاجانب على ما يحدث في الشرق الأوسط، اقرأ كتب المستشرقين عن الشرق الاوسط و العرب و ستكتشف اساس الحضاره الغربية، العنصرية، و العنجهيه ضد اي انسان ليس منهم، شئت ام أبت سوف تستوعب ان مالك غير بني جلدتك. من اسلوبك و اسلوب حديثك تبين لي ان في قلبك غلو و قد تبنيت افكار غربية تشدد من هذا الغلو. التحول الجنسي فكر غربي و من اول من شخص المرض دكتور ألماني كان ينتقد مدرسة علم النفس و كان يقوم بتجارب على الناس دون اي مرجع علمي ثابت. اديلوجيات الكوير غير ثابته منطقيا و لا تحترم العقل السليم. قبل ان تهاجم بني جلدتك اللذي يريد لك الخير تأكد أن نحن العرب الأصيلين لا يتم خداعنا و تلاعب بنا بسهولة، نحن نعرف كل شيء عن الغرب و اديولوجيات التي كونت الغرب. اذا كنت تفتخر بعروبتك، فلابد ان تعلم أن العرب الاقحاح لا يخالطان مع مجتمع او قيم لاتتفاوق معهم، العربي الأصيل حر ولا يتصالح مع من حاول تقيده او تحطيمه. اتمنى يوم من الأيام ان تعود إلى وعيك. الله يأجر اهلك على ما ابتلاهم، و كان الله في عونهم. الله يهديك.
@lonesome273
Ай бұрын
@Elmocello Ok, if you are an Arab, it is natural for you to know that transation is forbidden, so there is no need for me to remind you. Most Western societies are morally corrupt and regressive in many areas. This is an indisputable fact. Most of the West are racists, and they look at the Arabs in an inferior light. The biggest example is the reactions of the West to what is happening in the Middle East. Read the books of Orientalists about the Middle East and the Arabs and you will discover the basis of Western civilization, racism, and arrogance against any human being who is not one of them. Whether you like it or not, you will realize that you have no one other than your flesh and blood. From your style and the way you speak, it appears to me that there is extremism in your heart and that you have adopted Western ideas that exacerbate this extremism. Transsexualism/Transgenderism is a Western thought, and one of the first to diagnose the disease was a German doctor who criticized the school of psychology and was conducting experiments on people without any established scientific reference. Queer ideologies are not logically stable and do not respect common sense. Before you attack your fellow Arabs who want good for you, make sure that we, the authentic Arabs, are not easily deceived and manipulated. We know everything about the West and the ideologies that created the West. If you are proud of your Arabism, you must know that real Arabs do not mix with a society or values that do not agree with them. The authentic Arab is free and does not reconcile with those who try to restrict or destroy him. I hope one day you will get your head right. If you can't fathom theses Arab values, just don't call yourself Arab, be Western and khalas, there's no difference between you and them. May allah reward your family for what afflicted them , and may allah help them.
@lonesome273
Ай бұрын
Ok, if you are an Arab, it is natural for you to know that transation is forbidden, so there is no need for me to remind you. Most Western societies are morally corrupt and regressive in many areas. This is an indisputable fact. Most of the West are racists, and they look at the Arabs in an inferior light. The biggest example is the reactions of the West to what is happening in the Middle East. Read the books of Orientalists about the Middle East and the Arabs and you will discover the basis of Western civilization, racism, and arrogance against any human being who is not one of them. Whether you like it or not, you will realize that you have no one other than your flesh and blood. From your style and the way you speak, it appears to me that there is extremism in your heart and that you have adopted Western ideas that exacerbate this extremism. Transsexualism is a Western thought, and one of the first to diagnose the disease was a German doctor who criticized the school of psychology and was conducting experiments on people without any established scientific reference. Queer ideologies are not logically stable and do not respect common sense. Before you attack your fellow Arabs who want good for you, make sure that we, the authentic Arabs, are not easily deceived and manipulated. We know everything about the West and the ideologies that created the West. If you are proud of your Arabism, you must know that real Arabs do not mix with a society or values that do not agree with them. The authentic Arab is free and does not reconcile with those who try to restrict or destroy him. I hope one day you will get your head right. If you can't fathom theses Arab values, just don't call yourself Arab, be Western and khalas, there's no difference between you and them. May allah reward your family for what afflicted them , and may allah help them.
@lonesome273
Ай бұрын
@Elmocello we will see. You lost yourself. It's apparent. At least I have my family, culture, tradition, community, and most importantly, Islam. What do you have other than hurt? Was it worth it? I just had to give advice. That's all, I don't know from Adam.
Just be careful they don't try to kill you all in the name of honour.
@Elmocello
Ай бұрын
Are you proud of your comment? Lol strange behavior
It ain't easy being different. Especially, if you are a person of "color", or from a religious home. Get ready for the backlash! Your family is accepting - some of them are not so kind.
@Elmocello
3 ай бұрын
Haha my family is not accepting but yeah 100% agree :/
❤
wow, I'm happy that you have the possibility to be yourself, and live in a western country. Most of the LGBTQ, are at life risk in all the Arab lands and in the lands invaded by Arabs. I live in Israel: the only country in the ME, beside half Cyprus, in which LGBTQ have the freedom to be themselves (and even in Israel, not in all cities the LGBTQ community is fully embraced). Maybe you heard about Talleen Abu Hana, the lovely Israeli Christian trans, she identifies herself as "arab" because they speak Arabic (but ME Christians are not "Arab', but invaded by Arabs fm Arabia Peninsula...). Re the personal prenouns: in semitic languages as Arabic& Hebrew, the gender must be defined even at the 1st person form: "I', and this is very different to English, in which, "I', "you" "they" pronouns are not gender defined... I hope you will have a nice fullfilling life in Canada, with a family of your own ♥ BTW, you look Middle Eastern, but not "Arab", you look rather Egyptian to me ☺😜
Good luck in the comments section. Lots of judgmental hateful people. 😢
@Elmocello
Ай бұрын
@@PolaBeaver it is what it is 🤷🏻♂️
Astaghfirullah
It is always the same with religions: they put man-made morals on us claiming they are from thier god/gods. I wish to every LGBT that he/she finds a loving partner , marries and maybe raises kids in responsibility. As a Deist myself I send a lot love to all.
You cannot be that religion while taking that path I don’t say it but the clerical leaders …your parents did what the religion tell them to do ….how ironic existence
@Elmocello
Ай бұрын
Yet here I am, Muslim and trans. Maybe it's time we critically think a little more and stop blindly following other human beings without researching further into a topic or trying to understand people who are different to us. I don't find my existence ironic at all, I think it's a powerful existence which strengthens my faith everyday.
What the heck