SONG BIO:
it’s taken a couple drafts and a lot of long talks but after finishing it up, I am completely in love with this song. Since I moved out for college and found an accepting friend group and started my first queer relationship, I’ve been able to start finding myself and experimenting with my gender identity, and though i still don’t fully understand myself, i realize I’ve never fully felt like or viewed myself as just a girl, I’ve felt like Molly and being able to be me, and be accepted by the people in my life while i figure stuff out for the first time, i’ve felt so much gratitude for these people thus them being featured in this video⭐️. Through years of unhealthy relationships and friendships I pushed a lot of myself down and presented the way i felt i was “supposed to”. I’ve realized that conforming myself into a binary that always felt uncomfortable.. in order to feel validated by the people around me, is not the way i want to keep living my life. Everyone has a different experience with this but, I hope this song can mean something to everyone listening ❤️
LYRICS:
i see myself in cotton linnen
cascading down my body
and you told me i look pretty
but i don’t feel like me
i feel like i’m dressing up as who i’m supposed to be
i’ll see the girl in the mirror she looks kinda like me
i dress her up and but i can’t see
through the fog in the mirror
i’m not sure who i’m supposed to be
i’ll feel like a boy and i’ll feel like a girl
i’ll feel my organs inside me turn
i don’t feel good inside when i see
it’s the girl inside of me
running through grass wirhout a care in the world
i’ll feel like me when i can’t see her
but i’ll change my hair when i start to feel myself showing
into someone who isn’t me anymore
canyons and rivers i hate my skin
and these bones inside the body i live in
i’ll hate her and crave her and push her down
make my voice high and feel my lungs drown
in the sound of the voice that says what i think
but the words come out wrong and i feel myself shrink
into a little girl
who doesn’t understand herself
into a little girl
who doesn’t know how much she’s hurting me