Never try to heal any woman, she is either broken for life or she plays you into her cage.

@sunflowerhealth1616

11 күн бұрын

A very pessimistic view if I may say so!... the key, in my experience, fo both men and women who are broken and have reach a 'tipping point' [open to change], is to 'facilitate self-healing' rather than try to 'direct a healing journey' that YOU think they need... they might need it actually, but this might not be the right time, or they might need some stress-management or self-integration training before they are ready to heal. Hope this helps and might sometimes avoid us abandoning/giving-up on someone who has already abandoned or given up hope on themself. :-)

@rogerwhoareyou

11 күн бұрын

Sounds like someone who may have been bitten a few too many times and bow wants nothing to do with any woman. Odds are, there is probably at least one good one out there; good luck in finding her, but hey, I guess people do win the lottery every now and then. So the next question is how lucky do you feel.

@hurricaneaquatics

11 күн бұрын

​@@sunflowerhealth1616 you've obviously never dealt with a narcissist. Your flowers and sunshine won't work on the those demons.

@Green89_

11 күн бұрын

@@rogerwhoareyou there are great women out there. The problem is finding someone you’re attracted to that’s also attracted to you. I’ve met great women I’ve been interested in but they didn’t feel the same. That’s fine. I lowered my standards and ended up with a childish narcissist. It seems impossible to find someone at this point. Dating is awful.

@777lucifero

11 күн бұрын

@@rogerwhoareyou yes, and a great one will be one that does not need to be healed/fixed by you, because that's impossible.

Actually happy I got played by a covert narcissist it made me mentally tougher I got my masculinity back now I don't take s*** from any woman or man.

@matthewmcmacken6716

11 күн бұрын

Excellent. This is the way.

@tbone105

10 күн бұрын

hell ya - striaghtr up feel the same - came out of the shit saying aint no one gonna disrespect me like that that i love and care for

@peterbuckley9731

9 күн бұрын

Well played!

@Copa20777

8 күн бұрын

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

@lilfairycupcake

7 күн бұрын

congrats, your a born again a hole, just like me. lol born from our surroundings.

Ask them to do something for you. Something small. Something you would do for them with no hesitation. If they are narcissistic or otherwise toxic, it will ALWAYS go at least 1 of 4 ways (though sometimes these reactions may compound): They will act as though they didn’t hear you. Depending on how long you’ve been in the relationship, you may ask again. If it’s been long enough, you’re likely to drop the request right then and there. They will promise to do it, but never follow through. If you ask again or remind them, they will usually have some kind of excuse. In these cases, they will still never actually fulfill their promise. Their excuse is not a reason for lagging, it is the reason they should be absolved from all expectation whatsoever. Often this excuse will be meaningless or an outright lie.If you don’t buy their excuse, and tell them so, you will experience the wonderful segue into reaction. An argument will ensue The argument will be your fault. It could be a small back and forth contending against your request, or it might quickly devolve into them screaming at you. You never know which it will be. They might even say outright that you should never ask or expect anything from them. Usually they will express that you are asking too much, hurting them in some way (financially, emotionally, insulting them, etc), or attack your character. The argument will only end when you relinquish your request + apologize, or start ignoring them completely. If you can ignore them long enough, they may apologize to you. However, the conflict will never feel truly resolved. At this juncture they may actually end up giving you what you asked for. Often this does require you admitting that you don’t really need it, or that you would be fine with what they suggested instead. This leads us to reaction They give you what you asked for, BUT There is ALWAYS a catch. It might be small. They show up late with no apology. They buy you what you wanted, but it’s the wrong color, model, brand, etc. They take you where you wanted to go, but pressure you the whole time you’re getting ready because you’re going to be sooo late. Then they want to leave early anyway. It might be worse. They do it out of anger, and make a big display out of it to scare/hurt you. They hold it over your head until you do something for them first. Or, later on, they use it against you. “I did x for you, so you should do y for me.” No matter what, you never actually feel fulfilled, happy, or loved when they do something for you. Somehow, even from the getgo, there was this deep-seated feeling of guilt and fear, this sense that the “special” things they were doing for you weren’t so special at all. Eventually, you become afraid to ask for anything. You’ve been conditioned to believe you deserve nothing. Ironically, or not, the less demands you make, the worse you will be treated. Moreover, Catching a cheating spouse might be difficult, and knowing what local laws say you can and cannot do might be even more difficult. To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to do the sleuthing for you I genuinely appreciate how incredible you are and your work! Thank you for a job well done digitalinvestigate@gmail.com

Every single manipulation tactic all but implies the use of the lying tactic and the gaslighting tactic. I actually dislike it a little calling out gaslighting as a manipulation tactic as it's actually an effect. All manipulation tactics will contribute to it by nature of what manipulation is. Some tactics however certainly take the gaslighting effect to a whole different level. Blatant lies that are so bad they insult your intelligence is one of them. That kind of shit will make you feel like you are in the twilight zone after a while. Here are some of the reasons they do this: To test their control. To feel superior and/or entertainment. This proves to themselves how much control they have over you. In the end, you will give up and you will not leave (trauma bonded). In the process of getting to the giving up stage, you will go through some pretty nasty emotional states ending in massive amounts of cognitive dissonance to swallow all of that. Cognitive dissonance is a trauma defense mechanism where you essentially lie to yourself in various ways so that you can bring back some semblance of equilibrium to the insanity you find yourself unable to escape from. As part of the ‘backing you into an emotional corner’ tactic. This is a tactic where you are manipulated into being emotionally unstable inevitably leading to you losing your shit. This gives the narcissist a big dopamine burst, they feel powerful and superior having so deftly controlled you and manipulated into this emotional state. To finish the little game they play, they make sure to point out how unhinged and unstable you are and suggest that perhaps you need help or medication. Of course, you will internalize all that shame and guilt and the million other raging emotions they have created and swallow all that essentially allowing them to scapegoat their blame and accountability onto you. Bring on some more cognitive dissonance and gaslighting effects. To condition you to expect less respect, and ultimately put up with more abuse. You will tire of the inevitable circular argument trying to convince the narcissist of the blatantly obvious lie and eventually find yourself challenging them less and less as you subconsciously accept the fact that if you do it will just make your life and emotional state more miserable and you will be denied the satisfaction of any kind of ‘win’ even if it is easy to disprove. This is part of the domination process and makes sure all the power in the relationship ends up with them by the end. To turn your mind to mush as the gaslighting effect takes hold more and more over time. This makes you even easier to control. Many times while easy to disprove it requires some kind of concession of some obvious truth that the narcissist can just doggedly refuse to agree with or remember (‘the intentional forgetting’ tactic and the ‘feigned confusion or ignorance’ tactics are often employed for this). So, in fact, it is not so easy to prove when the narcissist refuses to correctly remember what happened 10 min ago or accept sound logic or reasoning. You will just turn blue in the face trying. Of course, in some cases it is indisputable. A phone log or something. My experience is when this kind of stuff happens it wasn’t their intention typically, although sometimes it was. But in these scenarios, you will typically get some sort of angry ‘invalidating’ tactic, with some good old ‘manufactured rage’ and ‘intimidation’ tactics to ‘put you on the defensive’ and get you more susceptible to further manipulation. Maybe something like: “Get over yourself already” followed up by some ‘blame-shifting’ tactics with some good old ‘guilt’ and ‘shame’ tactics, like “Why the hell are you spying on my phone records anyway? What kind of relationship is this? I don’t have any privacy? I don’t know if I can do this anymore! You have major jealousy issues! You need help!” You will walk away as the loser either way. There are resistance tactics that can be used but this is a very difficult tactic to deal with and it is one of their favorites. I won’t get into the counter-tactics here though. The only way to really win in a relationship with a narcissist is to leave them and go no contact. Moreover, Catching a cheating spouse might be difficult, and knowing what local laws say you can and cannot do might be even more difficult. To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to do the sleuthing for you I genuinely appreciate how incredible you are and your work! Thank you for a job well done Metaspyhub@gmail. com

@mukesh.dhimar

4 күн бұрын

@@neilcooper287 great in-depth comment

All her friends thought she was heaven sent...............with me alone..........the devil

@kim-andrehermansen5345

12 күн бұрын

Sounds like a rough time, my sympathies.

@bongodrummer6914

12 күн бұрын

@@kim-andrehermansen5345 Thank you...worst part so much wasted time. Blinded by the red flags...learned a valuble lesson though.

@arsenelupiniii8040

11 күн бұрын

Indifference to outcome and down to earth expectations throws these critters back into hell where they came from.

@Green89_

11 күн бұрын

That how we’ve all been treated my friend. We’ve seen the devil in these women. The friends will never see it.

@mikeyoung490

11 күн бұрын

Same

I lived with one for 15 years. Now I'm at a clinic trying to figure out who i am again.. just run guys. I'm serious.

@humanerror7

4 күн бұрын

I wish I listened sooner. It's amazing how quickly you can destroy everything you have worked for when in the clutches of one of these creatures

My covert ex discarded me for a married man who is 20 years older than her. She ended up telling people she feared for her life being around me. I swear on my life I never did anything to her. Knowing people believe her and the way she has treated me has been one of the hardest things I’ve gone through psychologically. I wish I never met her. I helped her get over alcoholism and drugs. I got her into fitness. Before she discarded me she said “I realized I don’t “need” you anymore.” I was just a need at a moment in time. 5 years wasted. I want to get over this but I don’t know how.

@jonathanbaum6867

11 күн бұрын

Hey man, I get it. You didn’t do anything. It’s her. No contact. Better him The you, and better sooner than later. TIME and SPACE WILL HELP YOU MOVE ON

@JohnSmith-wo7ns

11 күн бұрын

They always tell people we abused them, even though it's usually the other way round. My ex left me for an older guy with money too. I feel sorry for him because she will get bored and restless like she always does. She'll make his life hell, I hope he kicks her out onto the street. They turn on all their partners eventually. Time is the best healer, the pain gets less and you realise relationships with these women are doomed from day one.

@aquavoroffshore7951

11 күн бұрын

I did 25 session of EMDR just to get my nervous system somewhat back in order after my 10 stint w/covert narc. It helped but then acceptance has to happen. Feel for ya bro...

@mikha007

11 күн бұрын

there's an old African proverb goes something like 'give a one legged woman her leg back and shell run away with someone else'

@WOGLIN

10 күн бұрын

If you don’t leave you will « win » a cancer or autoimmune disease

Well spoken Lise. I spent 35 years with my covert wife. She finally moved out Oct. 12th 2022 and I have finally found my PEACE. Jeffrey Z. in SC.

It is a power move to make you feel guilt and shame

(22 red flags) RUN 1. Malignant envy, jealous and needy. 2. Overly concerned about her looks. 3. Rude and has no manners. 4. Plays games, Gaslights 5. Frequently bored. Doesn't like to be interested in anything, no hobbies 6. Has difficulty managing her emotions, volatile especially in public, temper tantrums 7. Constantly seeks attention and approval 8. Lazy 9. Overly controlling 10. Has daddy issues, a bad reputation with past relationships ie: sex bombs, devalues, discards 11. Never has anything nice to say about other women or your friends 12. Doesn’t have a plan for her life, or wandering through life 13. Low self esteem 14. Harboring hate, hateful toward others 15. Self-centered , stingy 16. Brags incessantly 17. Has no respect for her man 18. Falsely accuses 19. Demanding 20. Untrustworthy 21. Lacking empathy, cold hearted, 22. No morals BONUS: Substance abuse issues.

@fraserwood3314

8 күн бұрын

SILENT TREATMENT!!

@tommy-0791

5 күн бұрын

Very well said Calvin. They all behave in the same way. 👍

@machtnichtsseimann

2 күн бұрын

These kinds of lists are helpful, and IMHO confusing. To what extent should one run? How many out of the 22? How to assess when she exhibits other qualities that are positive and mature? I don't mean to be simply a pest, rather, to share my honest curiosity and quandary here, hopefully to get some specifics, perhaps?

I was mentally exhausted, after years of monolog of how the world has failed her. I was simply tired. Done. Spent. No more hours and hours of empathy and validation, as it was never going to be enough.

Nearly two years with a woman like this FUCKING RUN YOU WILL NOT FIX HER BUT YOU WILL RUIN YOUR OWN LIFE

@matthewkeim

11 күн бұрын

Imagine 6 years and a kid together lol. This video is spot on.. then add monkey branching lol FML..

@vincentruffo5948

10 күн бұрын

Same here nearly 2 years ago

@25N77

10 күн бұрын

Great language there ace.

@Gheyazz.nicuh69

10 күн бұрын

@@25N77 eat shit it's recycling

@tommy-0791

5 күн бұрын

​@@25N77great contribution. Sometimes it's the only language they understand. There's nothing wrong with being robust with them. Thankfully you've never been exposed to these demons.

Looking back I found that I have a desire to help people. For me turning someone’s life around when they are down is appealing. I learned the hard way the damsel in distress is bait for a sucker to come along and play this role. Unfortunately it makes me reluctant to help people in the future and always question their true intentions.

@y_yy_2844

11 күн бұрын

I get that. You become suspicious, wanting to ask "Why are you so helpless? You're a grown adult. What are YOU doing about all of these horrible problems you have?

@lorishu48103

11 күн бұрын

Or try actual volunteer work is very fulfilling bc I have the same kind of heart at least in that role there is a structure to protect us Empaths from getting crushed by the love con these sick people do when there are real good people who need our emotional intelligence

She would go shopping rather than pay her rent, grew massive arrears and eventually evicted. But to her the landlord was unreasonable and picking on her. Completely delusional.

You know it's ironic, I met my current wife in 2020 though her being part of a relationship with her "crazy" ex. Then I am Narc informed and what I consider to be an advocate for this information. Still I end up with a Covert and now I find myself in the show once more. I decided this week I am leaving. It will be bad but staying I think will be worse in the end. Thank you for your insight it is very on the mark and helpful. God Bless.

@LiseLeblanc

12 күн бұрын

I'm sorry to hear that you are "in the show" once more, but I do wish you all the best as you break free and move forward with your life.

@Jman-uv1lr

11 күн бұрын

Really wish you the best, I know the show well.

@paulmuadib8955

11 күн бұрын

Run.

@nova396

11 күн бұрын

Realize you can be projecting because you are damaged goods and asserting things that were from another relationship.

@adambutler4237

11 күн бұрын

Watch out for the, my old relationships Game.

The "Damsel in distress" one... I was stupid enough to think I would be her saviour. She even said I was. I was her "hero". And eventually she accused me of being just like her exes even though apparently all her exes cheated on her and were horrible to her and I NEVER cheated on her nor was horrible. On my 43 page letter that I wrote to her, I explained this. I told her that I didn't believe everything she said about her exes were true and that there is a common denominator in all her failed relationships. And that was actually her. One night, I was literally praying to God even though I'm a non believer...I was praying she would understand what she was doing and the next morning she even admitted that she needed help. It was unreal. She never did get any though. She never asked anything about me. How I was doing. How my day was etc. Everything was about her which I didn't mind at first. But whilst being abused and everything was STILL about her... every time she humiliated me, traumatised me, everything... nothing was ever her fault. According to her that is. She's a Demon.

@jerinpeter1390

11 күн бұрын

They will pretend to want to get help but they never do. They will put on a parade! They will smear you if you keep boundaries. Do not fall for the acting. Most importantly, be aware of their flying monkeys!

@SeanOzz

11 күн бұрын

Omg. I had to check the name of who wrote this as for a second I thought I did. Word for word the last two years of my life. I was her knight in shining armor, her hero. I treated her like gold as she told me how horrible her x’s were to her. I caught her betraying me in ways no one ever believes when I tell my story (I’m working on a series of videos about dating a covert narcissist but unlike any I’ve seen mine will have many forms of in the moment proof to the gaslighting and twisted behaviors that also shows how you get hooked like heroin) I’m just now slowly getting clear headed to everything. It’s been one of the most screwed up experiences that still makes NO SENSE at all. Nothing was done that should have changed all her fantasy future plans. She destroyed it all herself.

@alenaadamkova5322

11 күн бұрын

People learn wrong habits in childhood, as their subcosncious mind is created in childhood, but the habits continue to adulthood, and Dr. Bruce Lipton says...they are not aware of it because its subconscious program, or its approved by subconscious mind and subconscous mind works 95 percenta day, while conscious mind works only 5 percent a day.

@welshpokerman101

11 күн бұрын

Sounds familiar to my story (and probably many others in the comments). Currently being stalked in my MMA gym for over a year by the witch, she's slept with 2 other lads on the mats there as well now, and yet is still allowed to go despite me telling the instructors/closest friends there exactly what she did to me. My issue isn't just the abuse/stalking - it's the enabling within our culture that she is afforded, there is absolutely 0% chance I would be able to do what she has done as a man, I would (quite rightfully) be chucked out before I could even get my foot in the door. Moving forwards, I now speak openly to others about calling out abuse from women, how it doesn't make you less of a man, and how we need to all improve as a society to highlight that women can be just as abusive/toxic as men. I'm met with the odd eye roll, which I understand as not everyone wants to hear my shit - but again, the fact abusive women are afforded such privileges is disgusting and I'm not going to just lay down in defeat until my boundaries are respected. Keep going brothers!

@simjam1980

11 күн бұрын

It really is like they are demons... they go from loving you one moment, to being cold, soulless creatures who look at you with a death stare when they have 'switched'. It's like you're no longer dealing with a human.

Leave and never look back

@zandatee

11 күн бұрын

+ Be ready to the most profesional hoovering ever. Its another sign - so hoovering will follow. if you are not ready to stay unaffected, dont even begin.

@lilfairycupcake

7 күн бұрын

0 contact!

@jordanharkness

6 күн бұрын

Easier said than done. For example if there are kids involved or financial dependencies on top of the normal barriers when leaving a narcissist.

@jessicalynn7229

6 күн бұрын

@@jordanharkness f them kids

You must have met my ex girlfriend....the hell that I went thru the past 2+ years is unbelievable....I feel like I should go on tour and tell my story to others to make them aware....a skilled manipulator, a toxic female covert narcissist...pure evil and sadistic....preyed on my heart and emotions. I will never, ever trust a female again. Thought I was happy and gonna get married with my soul mate. Turned out to be a deeply disturbed individual. The manipulation, blame shifting and gaslighting were killing me. 100% spot on Lise, thank you.

@ready2rise

11 күн бұрын

I've seen quite a bit of the videos over the last few years detailing specifically the female side of things. I've also read tons of comments from men that were on the receiving end of the abuse. Most common thing I've seen is "two years of hell." My experience was that long too. And as far as questioning her when we initially met, none of her relationships were beyond a year and a half. 🤔👀

@Dcmaddog12

11 күн бұрын

@@TJKashatus sorry to hear bro yeah mine was exact same story unfortunately lived together for 2 years. Glad it ended there such a life learning lesson. You should go on tour! haha I’ve been tempted to start a KZread channel or podcast on dealing with this shit . I’m trying to stay positive about women and feminine energy but good god it’s getting ugly out there no accountability or communication it seems . Especially here in the United States with the brainwash of TikTok damn ex was addicted af to that. Can’t believe I ignored 50+ red flags

@JLUX100

10 күн бұрын

​​@@Dcmaddog12she will never be accountable and will never give you closure so don't look for it from her. Find your own by healing . They're the most verbally abusive, mentally abusive, emotionally and physically abusive piece of sh*t on the planet and they leach off everyone they possible can, drain them of life, energy and resources to feed them then discard and smear campaign to gaslight you and play victim to the next supply. Please watch these youtube channels : DoctorRamani , Narc's Nemesis, NARCDAILY-You are not alone . I couldn't even begin to tell you here all the stuff I went through with my narc ex for almost two years. Insane. And the torture they put us through can kill us, or drive us to s**cide . In fact, I truly believe my ex was responsible for the TWO suicides of people close to her. One was her ex and the other was a "landlord" who I think she was also with and hid that fact ,but pushed them both over the edge .

@JLUX100

10 күн бұрын

she will never be accountable and will never give you closure so don't look for it from her. Find your own by healing . They're the most verbally abusive, mentally abusive, emotionally and physically abusive piece of sh*t on the planet and they leach off everyone they possible can, drain them of life, energy and resources to feed them then discard and smear campaign to gaslight you and play victim to the next supply. Please watch these youtube channels : DoctorRamani , Narc's Nemesis, NARCDAILY-You are not alone . I couldn't even begin to tell you here all the stuff I went through with my narc ex for almost two years. Insane. And the torture they put us through can kill us, or drive us to s**cide . In fact, I truly believe my ex was responsible for the TWO suicides of people close to her. One was her ex and the other was a "landlord" who I think she was also with and hid that fact ,but pushed them both over the edge .

@fdre3wsd

10 күн бұрын

being single and alone is way better than being with someone so crazy never again putting myself through that not one bit

April 21, 2024 was the day I walked out after 25 years of everything described in this video. It took a lot of courage and I was ready to risk losing my four (3 adult, one 17) children over this. That's how bad it was and the terrible toll it was taking on me. Fortunately, only my oldest has been brainwashed and won't talk to me. The other three can see through things a bit better and I have a great relationship with them. I want to tell you that since I left and filed for divorce, each day is a treasured gift of peace and freedom I never fully realized I would experience. If you are scared, if you wonder if you'll have regrets, I promise you, if you are experiencing this abuse you will discover a joy you thought you could never have. You will find yourself again and you will have zero regrets. Your life is worth it. Don't waste it away.

@linnnea8171

10 күн бұрын

I was once the brainwashed oldest, but later in life I finally understood what's going on. I'm still embarassed that I fell for it so hard, especially the victimhood.

@adamv4951

10 күн бұрын

@@linnnea8171 I'm so glad you saw the light. It surely brought much needed healing!

@MrWhipple1062

4 күн бұрын

I'm divorcing after 37 yrs of torment and abuse. It only gets worse as time passes. I'm in poor health and can't really afford to divorce since she's never been employed. What I do have left of my life is worth every penny. I don't even know who I am anymore!

@562Omar

4 күн бұрын

🙌 Way to go Adam, you have a ton of courage - Congratulations. For me, my ex filed divorce back in 2022 and we’re still working to finalizing divorce. We were married 21 years, but our 20 year old son and 18 year old daughter saw through all her excuses and they each individually made the decision to come live with me. I’m grateful for having them with me and now in a much better place mentally, spiritually, and physically- Thank God. ❤️

@adamv4951

4 күн бұрын

@@MrWhipple1062 do all you can to get a powerful attorney who understands narcissist abuse. Godspeed brother.

When you meet a damsel in distress, calling to you from the tower LEAVE HER ASS THERE. It’s just a matter of time until she decides you’re the dragon.

There are few things in life that are this clear cut. A narc is a permanently wounded wild animal. There's no fixing it. If you have it in your head that you're going to find coping mechanisms to deal with having one of these in your life, you have no idea what you're dealing with or what they're capable of doing. This person is already gone. The only winning move is to not play this game at all. Literally move to another city if that's what it takes. No contact, ever again.

@racebannon96

11 күн бұрын

Excellent

@thisguyc0ry

8 күн бұрын

I literally had to abscond a state halfway across the country to get out. It’s been 5 years and she still tries to find ways to get back into my life and obsessively attempts to sabotage my life in any way, shape or form

@ct00001

8 күн бұрын

@@thisguyc0rythey have no boundaries. Moving to another state is entirely appropriate and sometimes necessary

You the best Lise. We love you

@LiseLeblanc

12 күн бұрын

@@rashadm.sadigov4366 thank you 🥰🙏

I had one of the really good ones, you know, dyed in the wool. I thought I was going to tell you all of the crap that was used on me. But in the first 30 seconds, you said everything I was going to say, and it was spot on. If I knew all of this 5 years ago, I would have avoided all of that mess. Now, I feel fried, like I don't want to even try to reach out and try again. Its awful.

Run just run. it ain't worth your breath or emotion it's a childish waste of time .and never look back just cold forget her

She used to say the same to me 😂"i dont want you to come up with a solution i just want you to listen" and this could go on for hrs.

@racebannon96

11 күн бұрын

Yes. That is standard operating procedure for them. You can spend hours everyday talking about a big decision. And they will make the worse choice and laugh about it.

@JohnSmith-wo7ns

11 күн бұрын

@racebannon96 I have to agree, I thought the chaos was a problem, but her decision making just made the drama continuous. She encouraged it. 🤯

PROJECTION is an understatement. My woman can say so much falsehood so many times to the point that she believes that it's true and that I said those false statements she created in her head. You nailed it Lise. Thank You so much 💌

Ive been dealing with this for close to 4ish years. Now looking back at 19yeas of marriage, its was always there. I’m not sticking around, making a safe way forward. I know that I am a man in a horrible situation. I also know that I need to fix my needs and own situation and getting back to stability. I also know that I have some past trauma from child hood, so that complicate things. So I know I am no where near perfect. I’m feeling so frustrated.

Spot on! That was my life for 7 years. First year, was amazing. She worshipped the ground i walked on. As soon as we got married she was always sullen and could suck the positivity out of any room. Lucky for me, unfortunate for the other family...she left me for a married man who was wealthy. When asked..."what about his 3 daughters?" She said "what fo they have to do with us?"😮

@kim-andrehermansen5345

12 күн бұрын

Jesus..

Lise, this is striking in its accuracy. The victim mentality was a ruse to draw me in, and I fell for it, I wanted to be her saviour, but eventually realised the pattern of how everything wrong in her life was “someone else’s” fault. She was unable to take responsibility for anything. I knew something was wrong but couldn’t put my finger on it. I got out anyway and found your videos afterward, that explain everything. Thank you.

Mental health! Some women have 3 or more personalities. Wife is not one of them. I've dated many many women. I've only met one that was mentally and emotionally stable. In the office where I worked 8 out of 9 women were on mental health meds. You never know who you pick! It's almost best to stay single and keep two or three in rotation.

@Florence-zg1mc

12 күн бұрын

You sound like a narc.

@histreasure3189

11 күн бұрын

😅

@evoz4489

10 күн бұрын

I wouldn't even do that mush. I've got a hand. And it doesn't ever say it's too tired or not shower on purpose to avoid it. Single...AND solo is the way.

Spot on to my situation. Dumped me 5 times in 2 years. I had to move out although at the time she manipulated me to believe I was the problem and that I wouldn’t change or consistent enough for her… which is complete BS. I was working on myself daily until I was mass laid off from a job and became depressed for a month not really motivated - not feeding her supply I realize.. I’m much happier out of it but sometimes sad because my life is so much different now in a new home. But it’s taking every ounce of my self control to not reach out to her and TELL HER YOU ARE THE PROBLEM YOU ARE A COVERT NARC. Her mom is too and she grew up with no father figure.. all women in her family she controlled every damn thing and I lost all masculinity and confidence she originally was obsessed with and love bombed. Her family even said we should get married. Now I’m sitting here feeling like I just went through a 2 year coma of nonsense and disappointment. Thanks for all you do!!

@Terriorcell

12 күн бұрын

Damn did you date my ex too?

@arsenelupiniii8040

11 күн бұрын

Dang! Just Dang! I thought I got rolled up! That story hit me hard. I am glad to be 50 and totally indifferent to abuse nowadays. Money FTW!

@Dcmaddog12

11 күн бұрын

@@Terriorcell haha it’s on rise bro social media brainwash

@matthewkeim

11 күн бұрын

I feel ya brother.. I have a kid with my ex... It's rough.. she monkey branched and moved my kid in with the guy at break neck speed.. wish I had more than 50.50 custody.. wish I didn't feel anything for her anymore lol..

@Dcmaddog12

11 күн бұрын

@@matthewkeim holy shit man. I’m sorry to hear that. What helps get me through is I’m glad I didn’t spend my life with her or get married just to be served up with a divorce. But rest assured none of their relationships will last whatsoever. And they lost us great caring men who maybe fell off for a little bit and lost our way but that’s when the gaslighting, manipulation and shift blaming really came out. I wish I would’ve realized it during the relationship. I did the 4th breakup lol let the house for the night only for her to want me back the next day. I will not be living with a girl for a long time or even getting in any sort of relationship. I need to become more secure attachment style and not anxious attachment like most people. fearful avoidant covert Narc lol thrive on that. Stay strong brother!

We moved to the most expensive neighborhood in town following her advice, months later we could no longer pay the rent on time and I suggested to move to a cheaper place, she told me "the only one who's moving out of here is you...".

@HidNTrackz

6 күн бұрын

That was her plan to begin with.

@justmichael6628

4 күн бұрын

Never throw your pearls amongst a narcissist .

Best thing is to got out and socialize with people eventually you will find a respectful supporting woman that will love you

@refraf8030

5 күн бұрын

Or you can be single happy, women don’t do anything for men. Rather than telling us to get into relationships with these misandrists tell us to find peace and self love in ourselves.

Examples given in the video 90% were used by my ex, thats so insane, its kind of a systematic... If the author of this video is reading this, It would be interesting to know about how do men unconsiously choose covert narcisisstic partners and how spot them early?

@cryptosuperg

12 күн бұрын

I chose my narc because she made me feel wanted and my deep down belief that I could help solve her problems. Sadly the more I tried the madder she got.

@LiseLeblanc

12 күн бұрын

Great question, you may find these videos helpful: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZYCCzNKqe8bYnMo.html kzread.info/dash/bejne/X6Gtz5p9Y7fYorg.html

I watch one of your videos every time my ex reaches out to me. lol

Yes.... Going through this still. She never does anything wrong and will swear she didn't do anything in the past. The most ridiculous thing anyone can go through.

Thank-you very much, Lise - very helpful! ...A female covert-narcissist client who rounded on me after I challenged her about a pattern of duplicitous behaviour, quickly accused me of being a "Psychological Abuser" [just as you describe!]. This was very hurtful for me because I had gone out of my way to help her through one a couple of crises... Having taught commmunication skills and assertveness for some years, I knew not to go down the road of intellectually or emotionally defending myself, but also knew that this malicious narrative could not go uncorrected, for my own peace of mind... so as she went to make a dramatised enraged-victimhood exit, I said "Can I ask a small favour of you before you go, xxxx?" This sidestep from direct conflict took her by surprise and appealed to her personal power, so she agreed..."Please look me in the eye and repeat your accusation that I psychologically abused you!"... She was enraged and empowered enough to look me boldly in the eye, but as I expected... could not say the words [when soul-to-soul confronted] because we both knew deep-down that it was a lie. For a moment she was stuck for words, then her puffed-up narcissistic rage melted and hestitatingly said: "I... FELT... that you abused me!" I accepted this re-phrased truth, because she was now taking responsibility and I understood her conditioned narcissistic rage response to being held accountable for her behaviour. To my surprise, she now became calm and agreed to come back and sit down with me and have a more adult conversation about what was not going to work for us both at that time. We parted on good terms! :-)

the Nail vignette was spot on.

This is so spot on I could not figure out for the life of me. If I was speaking another language to this girl she wouldn’t see the obvious and would ignore reality. It did make me question my reality, but no more follow what they do not what they say, these are dangerous women and I glad I kicked mine to the curb. Who’s trying to manipulate her way back in every day no thank you

Yep, that's exactly what I went through. Luckily, am out of there and thriving.

@arsenelupiniii8040

11 күн бұрын

Ya just have to expect this stuff nowadays, lest ye be torn to pieces, never ,ever let em move in, especially in these crap economic times. These predators are everywhere due to FakeBook brainwashing.

I was thinking, Lisa, and in reading the comments and my own experience that one outlet for me as a chronic “saver” is to do actual volunteer work. It helps me to feel useful and less filled up by flattery and false charm bc of desperation to find meaning in my own life if this makes sense. Volunteer work is narc prevention for me bc I’m one of those problem solvers so might as well help the community more widely. Thank you for videos and all the excellent presentations.

I lived this for 26 years. She needed a hero and I wanted to be one. It worked until I became a source of her victimhood. I wanted to rescue her but she claimed I wanted to destroy her. It was this disparity that caused me to question the nature of our relationship.

Literally everything in your video reflects the conversation with my ex-wife. Could never stick with one subject. She always had to change the subject or go with something unrelated from the past. Getting a "I'm Sorry" was nearly impossible.

Your content has single handedly made my life much more awesome No cap you are the best coach on YT

Lise. You have just helped thousands of PHIL’s dodge a bullet ! You are a wonderful person. Thank you x

This video really resonates and explains so much about my last relationship. Thank you! I know my faults and flaws but I also have to make peace with the fact I was fighting a losing battle for 6 years of my life. The one positive is I can spot the signs now and hopefully help myself and others to avoid similar situations. I’ve removed other narcissists from my life subsequently and I feel peace for the first time in 38 years of being alive. It’s taken work, I’ve had to learn about myself, who I am and who I want to be but I feel so much happier now. I have no doubt videos like this will help others to understand they aren’t insane and the person they loved and may well still love, was abusing them

Mine was ride or die for 8 years. Worshipped the ground i walked on. Unless MILDLY criticized. Even constructively.

@kim-andrehermansen5345

12 күн бұрын

This sounds familiar. Please do elaborate the first part?

@CorbinB-Rax

12 күн бұрын

@kim-andrehermansen5345 Ride or die? Means she'll jump in harms way to protect you. Puts your needs first if she has to eat scraps.

@arsenelupiniii8040

11 күн бұрын

Probably when she was drankin! That is when the mask slips like a MF'er.

@redefinedliving5974

11 күн бұрын

@@CorbinB-Raxhow exactly did she change?

@CorbinB-Rax

11 күн бұрын

@redefinedliving5974 it was always triggered by any correction, acknowledging the source of any problem, disapproving of anything, working extra (being gone for 12 hrs, even though she'd work 10 of those hours), she always insisted I was cheating bc girls sometimes like me. When she'd change, it was absolutely polar opposite. Cold. Flat. Hatred. Sinister. Cynical. Denying. Reality inverted. Gaslighting. I was 100% of all problems and she could not accept 1% of any blame on anything. She'd accuse me of being a narcissist and trying to keep her down or destroy or control her. Tip of the iceberg.

Hi lisa.Your descriptions about these horrible persons is absolutely right.Thank you very much for your wonderful helps.Thank you for helping us to be able to save our health in toxic relationship with these uninteresting and parasitic creatures.

Thanks for your work Lise, you and other creators have opened my eyes to looking through my past and present with a whole new lens. Covert narcissism doesnt explain everything and I need to figure stuff out about my own traits but it has made things so much clearer.

This narrates my life over the past 2 years! :0

@tbone105

10 күн бұрын

same

Lise is always so spot on. She's one of the first people I started watching and helped me recognise what I was dealing with and going through!

I love how you presented and decribed the video example keep up the amazing work❤those videos are soo valiable ❤

I had a marriage counselor show us the nail video- if I had understood the subtext of that, it would have saved me 3 years of attempting to "save our marriage"

Indeed, it “blows your mind” when her behavior is beyond your imagination… 16 years has pretty much broken me.

@histreasure3189

11 күн бұрын

❤

Lisa, I have to say that you are always spot on. I said it before that I would come to Canada just for a couple of sessions if I could. Thank you once again.

Lise, your descriptions of behaviors are so Accurate it blows my mind.. Had a few years of it.. Thank you.. I didn't think it was "all me"..🤔

You really hit the nail on the head with this video. Thank you.

This sounds exactly like my soon to be ex-wife. Nothing is her fault and super defensive. Lying to my face and acting nice when I know she's lying. I kept our life and problems private and only told my best friend recently when everything hit the fan. Meanwhile I find out from someone that she's been trashing me for months, not just to her friends but acquaintances that she barley knows and making herself out to be the victim and me this huge piece of crap. And of course, they believe it because they've heard everything from her twisted world view. All through our relationship she claimed that her mother was a narcissist and such an evil and manipulative person but now I'm realizing that she exhibits the same behaviors she claims her mother had.

@seveg9283

11 күн бұрын

She sounds like a covert female psychopath. Psychopaths do not feel emotion - but can fake it by learning from others. They lie and lie, try to isolate you from your own family, 'throw' their own dispicable behaviour onto you as if it were you, gaslight you saying "your mad" or something, they have NO real friends (only people they have a use for), they spread lies behind your back and get others to further spread lies. They know what they are doing and it's all a covert plan to manipulate. I'll bet she blames you for trivial things without any basis. I'll bet she never ever says "please", "thank you" or "sorry". Take a tip, I know, I lived with one for 7 years until I ended it. She then went into calm psychopathic rage with all the behaviours above and more, baiting me to make arguments. Don't confront her, you will be stonewalled and all the psychopathic behaviours above will then become clear. Chances are she had an abusive childhood. And psychopathy is also partly genetic - my ex's mother was a psychopath, beating her kids with sticks. Don't feel sorry for her, it is incurable and non-treatable. Work out a watertight exit plan. Keep it VERY quiet, give no obvious clues. Then when you feel it's the right time, say nothing, just disappear from her. If you have children, it might be tough, but don't be drawn to argue, it goes nowhere. Don't engage, she will fake crying to get you back - her covert narcissism needs you. There are more female psychopaths out there than society thinks. Good luck, take care.

@Barra-xw7hc

11 күн бұрын

100% going through to motions of her trash talking n lies to others about me now

This was my life for a year and a half. Thank God it's over

Thank you so much for this. 100% in every detail my experience. Wish I had seen you 10 years ago.

Excellent video! Love the “nail" example!

That final statement is pivotal! I could not win with her no matter what I did and I need to just focus on myself.

I just stumbled onto your videos. OMG. This has helped me so much. I wish I could come and talk to you in person.

Truer words never spoken. Describes my last GF to perfection.

The nail video is spot on.

Thank you! You just described my ex girlfriend and my relationship with her to a T. She was abused as a child and the trauma is still very present. Had to end the over 1 year relationship a few months ago. As you said, I had to prioritize my own well being.

, Lise Leblanc, you remind me that most women are not evil abusers and some are actually angels who can be objective and caring. One day, I hope most women will be like you.

Lise you nailed it again, Thanks

Omg everything you say is to the point. It's sad that I relate, when I listen it's like you are describing everything I went through for 2 years. It's so sad how I relate so hard

Forty years with it and being a enthusiastic writer I have written our story as a warning to the future of the grandchildren.

The nail in the head skit has been my life for 22 years. It's seriously exhausting!

@michaelgpartridge2384

11 күн бұрын

RUN.

Thankyou you have described my 20 yr experience..waited for last out of two to finish study then.....LEFT THE BUILDING. We all can recover...i am busy with it...getting stronger every day Happinness. Viva

Good info on the layers of victim hood laid down over years - didn’t know they would actually defend it but of course it makes sense

In reality a cov narc is similar to someone with autism, a head injury, or developmental disabled..it's true..the fact that a few most important developmental stages at toddler age were fractured, not modeled not taught, not learned..cannot be fixed

I love your work, Lisa. Hope it's OK to say i noticed and like your new hair style.

Love you Lise. You've really helped 👌👍🏻

@arsenelupiniii8040

11 күн бұрын

She looks like "Stands with Fist" from Dances with Wolves. Totally thought it was that actress.

Wow you hit the proverbial nail on the head😂.....brilliant analogy btw.

First sentence to last 💯 Hi Lise, thanks for the memories! 😉 Lol only took me a decade to work out she didn't want solutions to her "problems"...She just wanted supply, attention, validation, energy, etc. Having a solution would stop all that.. It was never about the problem it was all a way to manipulate me.. My compassionate cautious distance is around 300km now and working on getting further away, no more of that thankyou... Lolol loved the nail in the head! 😂😂 Would have been a little more easy if it was that obvious.. If we just remove the nail! 😂😂😂 Have a good day thanks for the laugh...🐬✨

Wow. This puts words to my experience.

This describes my mother, perfectly. And also the people in her church, who tried using such tactics against me.

apparently you met my wife

@YoungBlaze

11 күн бұрын

That's crazy, 🤣 it does sound like her

@trevorburton8564

11 күн бұрын

Mine too

@agoodpitch9

11 күн бұрын

@@trevorburton8564 there were red flags, my mistake was giving her a chance to address them because she distracted me and made herself appear the victim all the time, so i kept on dating

everything you said is exactly what I am going throught right now!!!! Execpt I am finding out now after 25 years!! Was I sleep walking for 25 years!!!!

Thank you 🙏🏽 Yesssssssssssss. I'm divorced and free from her torment. 🙏🏽

Of course. Without a shadow of a doubt!

No joke. You hit the nail on the head. This is a clear and concise description. The best I've found at describing my experience. Thank you, Lise. Questions: What are the key distinctions between what you just described and quiet BPD? And can a person have both where the symptoms overlap?

You nailed it.🎯

Recreational purposes only: DO NOT get emotionally involved... probably wise to just avoid....

@racebannon96

11 күн бұрын

It is not worth it. When the red flags start popping up, run. You can not help them. They never learn. They will destroy themselves and the people close to them.

Thank you ❤

Like my ex . She compared me with Peggy and Steve , then Jim and Pam and finally Paul and Chani . I was the best bf , all her exes were crazy . I need mental therapy and blah blah blah . She was this massive movie geek , collected and watched literally most of the movies . Always collected star wars memorabilia , made her house a museum of star wars . Always saying movie dialogues. Literally forced me to perform passionate kiss even when she knew that I wanted to take things seriously first. Always forced me to watch movies with her and talk about it for hours and then tried to compare our relationships with the movie couple. Never appreciated the football clubs I supported and literally planned future and already named the babies on the fourth date. I am so happy she dumped me . She did came back to me after a month and told we should be friends and said she need me by her side.

I’ve talked to Lise though her zoom counseling services I was impressed Very accurate information I spoke to many other people pertaining to these type issues Over zoom and other ways Lise is at the top of the list for accurate in-depth information

Your description of a covert narcissist perfectly describes my wife. In my opinion, she was a victim of being raised buy a malignant narcissist father. We can't have a normal conversation without me feeling like I've always done something wrong. It's like a broken record. I'm always the one who can apologize and except responsibility. Asking her to apologize or take responsibility is like pulling teeth. Her perception of reality is always distorted. She is always the victim. In all truthfulness, I despise her father. She is the victim, but I am dealt the brunt if her injury. Sadly I don't feel she will ever change or heal from her deep wounds.

The first 30 seconds you described everything I do on a daily basis to my partner once I discovered she was a covert narcissist. With 100% accuracy.

You are good lady, thank you

Off topic, but I love your hair and overall look, you're basically my transition goals

I'm beginning to suspect there's a narcissistic aspect to some DID systems. Or rather the reason most do not heal is because their underlying behavior is never addressed

@heidismutti

12 күн бұрын

I think you’re on to something. What is NPD except a maladaptive coping mechanism and a way to get needs met? I think we’ll find that it’s not a specific trauma, but rather a specific way to DEAL with trauma.

@justmichael6628

4 күн бұрын

Narcissists were never taught or given the right types of Nurturing in their environment that allows for the development of ; The sum of influences modifying the expression of the genetic potentialities of the gene's . With that which is needed in order to not be Narcissistic . Verbal abuse can diminish a child's self-esteem and self-belief's . Self-esteem or self-belief is linked to the neurotransmitter serotonin . When the lack of it takes on severe proportion , it often leads to depression , self-destructive behaviors or even suicide . Yes ' it can be very traumatic in the beginning stages of a child's life . Having lasting effects , if not corrected . Yet ' When we recieve the right types of perceived Nurturing with its social validation ' That social validation increases the levels of dopamine and serotonin in the brain and allow us to let go of emotional fixations and become self-aware more easily .

Ticks all the boxes,my narc attacks when confronted,about sleeping with so called friend,she went from denial to rage then told me I was a narcissist and I needed to see a psychiatrist,i didn’t know what narcissist was so I looked it up and she is 100 percent a covert narcissist,both parents died when she was a teenager,apparently the trigger,and she ticks all the boxes ,I fell into a deep funk for weeks ,I have done as suggested since working her out,never get mad never show emotion,I just state the facts and leave her to mull it over sometimes I get the silent treatment for a day then she tries to love bomb,and now I’m not playing that game ,the anger when I turn her down is nothing short of amazing considering how many times she rejected me to hurt me on purpose,she is watching me always in my phone,the list of things that I didn’t see ,or didn’t want to see,absolutely hates me having any female friends,the amount of times I made excuses for her behaviour to others 😢,even last week at grocery store,we were waiting in line ,maybe five minutes when two women dressed in a uniform,not anything to do with the store walked past she lashed out at them with doesn’t anybody work here how bout we get served,they both looked at her with bewildered looks, when I said they don’t work here the look on her face 😂,then I got the daggers ,smiled and looked away,when I said I’m done ,I’m not doing this anymore, she said I knew you never loved me ,everyone leaves me then the tears ,followed by rage , I have no one except our two sons,both know mums got issues,one so much so he’s in college doing a degree in psychology .for years I thought if I gave her all of me she would be happy but she is broken and I can’t fix broke ,when a person you love can lie to your face with not a shred of regret or remorse and then turn it around to try and make you feel like it’s all somehow your fault is so evil is all I can say.

I can’t describe it, but the feeling I get when Lise Leblanc perfectly describes my life experiences with my ex, it is just crazy. I totally agree with the conclusion, ignore and/or be very cordial is the only way to handle communicating and be sane. Specifically when you share custody. It’s also strange, nowadays I am so very avoidant, supportive, non-hostile and careful when I communicate. It kinda feel like woman talk, or maybe I am just older 😅

It has occurred to me the human tendency to project is a very serious problem. Healthy people tend to project virtue on people who don't deserve it. They try so hard to understand what went wrong because they honestly want to correct something if it was indeed their fault. On the flip side, the disordered person projects all sorts of malice onto the other person. They assume the worst when it comes to their motivations and attribute intent onto that person that never really existed. In both cases, the person in question is assuming that the person they are dealing with has the same motivations and characteristics that they do. It really is a wheat vs chaff sort of thing. Judging others really isn't our place, but discerning certainly is. When you figure out someone is toxic, wish them well and hope they heal, but break it off and go no contact. As much as judging is above our pay grade, so is fixing them.

You just described my current situation

They only want three things: 1. The authority of a man 2. The privilege of being a woman. 3. The accountability of a two year old.