We accept the love we think we deserve.

@tarasheaalchemistempressim3300

Жыл бұрын

& our job than Is to recall our worth & good enough & we deserve best from one another & challenge is healed core wounds not avoiding by getting a new person partner however takin space if need be to evolve & using implementation with respect

@Galemor1

Жыл бұрын

@Rebecca Pemberton Don't tell yourself that.

@leonievw2466

Жыл бұрын

Well said Anne.

@tyyneviljakainen5108

Жыл бұрын

Well said Anne.

@streamofflowingwater915

Жыл бұрын

This line from "Perks of being a wallflower" always hits 🥲

Have actually seen that happen: a women buying a wine bottle and putting it in the house andtelling him where it is. (A struggling alcoholic trying to get clean) And drinking a glas right in front of him saying “i am not going to give you a glas because we allknow you cant handle it”. I told her i was flabbergasted but she didnt think it was cruel. She made him cycle with their kid in frontseat of the bike, knowing he had been drinking. And when they fell the daughter lost a tooth and she was telling everyone how hard her life was having a husband too drunk and putting their kid at risk. And all i wasthinking was: if you knew he was drunk why did you put her on his bike and not on your bike right next to it? And she was saying: i wanted to give him a chance show him i trusted him. But... you knew he was drunk..... why why why even make him cycle with you at all why not leave him at home. she really didnt understand she was totall abusive in that relation, i stpped seeing her as a friend. I wonder if he left her already. Poor kid.

@megibg890

Жыл бұрын

Poor child!!!

@aprilchow-chee5281

Жыл бұрын

I just feel for the kid but we are not responsible for another person's actions or inactions

@aprilchow-chee5281

Жыл бұрын

I just feel for the kid but we are not responsible for someone's actions or inactions

@TheApplianceDirect

Жыл бұрын

@@aprilchow-chee5281 no I mean enablers are certainly part of the issue.

@sacura605

Жыл бұрын

Did you call her out on it in public? Just asking?

My ex boyfriend was codependent He went back to his ex who gives him a lot of attention. Hence, she has got nothing else to do. He is dependent on sex and booze. Me working full time, and maintaining a household and his negativity, I couldn’t cope. I don’t drink. My job does not require me to do so and even then I wouldn’t. He had 5 drinking friends all codependent on each other’s gossip, booze. I am independent. Single mother with a good job and will not let anyone tell me what to do.

I grew up in a family where I couldn’t stand up for myself. I ended up in a marriage with an addict. I did everything to save our marriage. I never put him in a compromising position to relapse. He did all by himself. Needless to say I found my voice and love for myself. Left him found an amazing man who is functional and healthy and it’s amazing I love him and he loves me. Fear kept me in a situation that traumatized me. I was too scared to stand up for myself. My marriage woke me up and I am grateful for it!

@juliemclain5841

Жыл бұрын

Good for you! Stay healthy, I really hope to get to that point someday. I'm fighting my way out of the dysfunctional marriage right now.

@fizahaque

Жыл бұрын

Hmm well where do I even begin. The relationship was of 8 months. I broke up with him for the third time now, a month ago. I’m healing as we speak but oh god. He basically hooked up a day before we were officially committed. He slept with me the day after. Now according to him, when we started being intimate the day after his hookup (I was preparing for my flight that night’ How absurd!!!) he was fully committed to me and never went back. Hence why he asked me a week later to be his girlfriend. Now you probably are asking me “Why did you even say yes then?!” Well. I didn’t know about his hookup a day prior until 1-2 months in the relationship. That’s when he told me cause he didn’t want us to keep things from eachother. I appreciated him coming clean. But I should have left. Knowing that I don’t trust people once they lie about certain things. And this was big for me since he knew me long before as a friend and we’ve talked about it many times. And he always said he hooked up 3 months ago. For me that was a reasonable time frame. It’s not him sleeping. It’s him withholding information and denying me of the chance to choose for myself if I want to continue or not. And then lying about it. Saying it was 3 months ago when I asked. Soooooo ladies. Don’t ignore the first red flag. And if your intuition is screaming like mine; just leave. It’s there for a reason. And it’s giving you a signal for a reason. So don’t just ignore it. Saddest part about this all? I kept trying to regain my trust in him. Even went to therapy since he kept blaming my mental health. Didn’t work. Just made me realise more how he started breadcrumbing me in the past few months. And then the little to no messages. Me getting more messages and calls from friends instead of my so called partner. And him not flying over on his own will or even mentioning it? Was just straight up painful and letting him disrespect me. Idk why I’m explaining it all here but unfortunately I still have moments where I miss him to death and wish I could just rewrite history where he does things right. But then again while writing I realise. That’s the key. That was the issue. So I accept my mistakes and learned from it. I just hope he does too and sees how messed up it became in the end. Anyhoo hope I’m not boring anyone with my rambling but I guess it was needed and a part of my healing process. Cheers and let’s find real love in 2023. With real love I mean self love. ❤

I instinctively recognized this, their own insecurities become a shield for your flaws.

I've been studying dysfunctional behavior for a long long time. That's why I am alone. Finding a match is hard in a dysfunctional world.

@signatureblonde5956

Жыл бұрын

That's what i do too, and since a lot of people are problematic, ourselves included, it's a slow process to find someone who might for instance might not be a pedofile when he is not with you, or a covert narc.

@suzannaflores1164

Жыл бұрын

Same brother. It's good to be aware, of course not easy

@pseudopuppy160

Жыл бұрын

You’re aware of the (highly ironic) dysfunction in your situation too...

@mari-067

Жыл бұрын

Can you please reveal the books 📚 you have been reading studying this?

@IvonaStec

Жыл бұрын

Yeap, finding someone who is willing to take responsability is rare. People are on autopilot of destructivness enjoying it every step... takes a strenght to have open eyes in this world and still, choosing to be gentle ..

I never felt like that, it's more like you don't have self worth to think u deserve better and they bread crumb you so you get into this magnetized clingy state where you feel starved of love and ur constantly feeling empty and trying to get something from them. You can't leave them because of this dynamic of not getting enough and you get blamed for all the problems so ur constantly trying to improve and fix cuz its all ur fault so why would you leave. I knew others could love me, but I was stuck in the dynamic I described

@musicbykg

6 ай бұрын

thank you for this ♥

My ex husband was an alcoholic, (I had grew up with an alcoholic father), and his mother was the enabler. I had finally reached my breaking point and said I was done. I filed for a divorce and never looked back. My current boyfriend has had a 6 pack of beer in my fridge for 6 months and we have an amazing, communicative relationship. We can both be ourselves.

@juliehealingleaf6211

Жыл бұрын

Communication is key

@manuelsanchez6221

Жыл бұрын

Nahh, wait after 2 years, but enjoy the honeymoon in the meantime.

@TheNinnyfee

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for giving Hope that there are still functional guys out there.

@lrla8657

Жыл бұрын

@@manuelsanchez6221 it will be 3 years in August.

@emilyb5557

Жыл бұрын

❤ love this esp as an ACOA. So glad for you and thanks for sharing the hope. I bet seeing that beer still there in the fridge makes you happy each time. Did you do a lot of work on yourself??

Yep. I’m so grateful for these shorts etc. I’m reading Teal’s book ‘How to love yourself’ it’s mind blowing awesome with a lot of easy practical things to do daily and the psychology behind it is quite fascinating! Thankyou Teal ✌🏼💜😘

I stayed with my wife for 14 years because I didnt want to be alone and I really didnt think I would ever meet anyone else. It wasnt good but I thought it would be better than being alone. Somehow actually that led me to the second person I've ever been in a relationship with and I realised what abuse was from all the stories of this persons 'family'. It was a real 'uh oh' moment when I realised I'd been living through 14 years of abuse but at that point it had already been done. I finally stood up for myself for what felt like the first time and took time away from my wife and decided I was over it. I realised I had been holding out waiting until she could give me what I needed but that just was never going to happen. 14 years is a long time to wait but in the end it really did lead me to what I needed. I have an actual partner now. I still deal with a bunch of ridiculous trauma responses that pop up unexpectedly thru out living but one by one I'm working on it and getting better. That 14 years was sprinkled with cool, thrilling, incredible things but damn it wasnt nice at all. She went off and actually made a life for herself which is cool but she still cant recognize how terribly she treated me. Thats fine I suppose cuz I'm happy now and its so good to be with my partner now I might have to say it was worth the wait and if I hadnt been with my wife all those years it may not have happened. Through a whole slew of events that could not possibly be replicated it worked out for everyone, thank goodness. My dream came true.❤

@user-qw8bs2mf7n

Жыл бұрын

I am so glad, needed time but you made it happen i applaude your bravery ❤❤

So true! I learned so much about myself, and I am so grateful because I’ll be able to spot that kind of dysfunction quickly. I actually enjoy being by myself, which I did anyway, but I truly am loving myself. I’m getting there.

After discovering this pattern, my chronic pain in the stomach is soothing and disappearing, and my reflux too...

@HAPPY-ev4kx

Жыл бұрын

How do u stop it?

@leticiajordaosubliminals9567

Жыл бұрын

@@peod777 💗💗love u!!

@leticiajordaosubliminals9567

Жыл бұрын

@@HAPPY-ev4kx well, every pain-chronic pain is actually a pattern, like a button that you are pressing so many times, but it is so buried in your subconscious that you dont have access to it by just trying to heal it with frequencies etc... just going deep inside you can touch it. what worked for me was parts work and what is healing it is the descovering (ressurfacing) the codepedent trap, this pattern of me. it went deep inside my chronic pain, like an insight. You need to maintain contact with this part of your body too. And as a female, the connection process between everything that i knew abt what is stored in the stomach when there is pain ( energetically), the sensation and automatic thoughts that come when i give attention/ perceive this pain, it was so easy to realise it. And i received fragments of memories and a message like: you are codependent bc you started being humble and then you have all of this guilt and trauma from being confident. It was a big trauma in the solar plexus when i was 8.

@SensitiveSage

Жыл бұрын

Same omg it affects the stomach SO HARD!!!

@sumbunniii8721

Жыл бұрын

@@SensitiveSage w hat???? Help oh my god 😕

Facts especially the sense of goodness part

I believe we can no longer talk about codependency and addiction without talking about trauma.

Teal-I hope your day is full of people who make you feel you’ve found a family and that you belong. Reading the book on How To Love Yourself and when I imagined you as a sunflower it made me smile.🌻

@falliezhang4269

Жыл бұрын

You are so sweet. May you be happy! 😊

@maissakaizen1714

Жыл бұрын

where can I find this book

I am usually quite insightful but this shed a light on my situation that I had not seen before. However there is another part to this and that is the guilt of what the unstable partner may do To himself when you do decide to leave.

This isn’t always the case. It wasn’t low self esteem. It was expectation of evolving. Learned the hard way that not everyone wants to evolve.

1st step is to be OK to be alone

This hit me hard, I got in a relationship when I had low self-esteem when I was 17 and I'm 30 now, I have more confidence and know I deserve better, but it is hard to function when there isn't disfunction.

As a former self righteous ass kisser with victim mentality, I appreciate this video.

@aphrodite1699

Жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣a former who?

@leighatkins22

Жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣 after having almost everything i own smashed or broken, i think i have almost totally recovered from someone else's dysfunction...

@SSB2482

Жыл бұрын

Congrats ... Now you get to be considered an asshole like the rest of us 😂

@IrresistibleParadox

9 ай бұрын

Ok but like, how hard is it NOT to be a self-righetous ass kisser with victim mentality when you're suffering and have a low IQ and EQ? 😂 poor past selves I mean I can only get it!

@ndixjejekdn

8 ай бұрын

69 likes “ass kisser” 😂

Primary objective : Protect this woman at all cost

I guess the very simple logic of this is: “why would I change if you'll date me regardless?”

@bakionigeri6414

Жыл бұрын

and then on the other side the codependent is like, why would I change this person into a better person, when that better person wouldn't stay with me? stuff like this is why I'm not looking for relationship just playing the field LOL

@SA-ey6nt

Жыл бұрын

​@@bakionigeri6414 "playing the field" and being disfunctional while doing it, huh

@amirahelechi7113

Жыл бұрын

111

@M8-20

Жыл бұрын

No one "changes" for anyone else. No one can change someone else.

@bakionigeri6414

Жыл бұрын

@@SA-ey6nt sorry just now saw this response. What makes you think I'm dysfunctional?

That's definitely true. I do see all that. How do you get out of it. Or when someone keeps you miserable for a time then when you can't take it anymore they treat you better. Then they'll beat you down again and it repeats endlessly. This seems like a common scenario. So basically your just in a stupid relationship with someone who dont give a -‐--. I'm part of the dysfunction .

@antoniaf1886

Жыл бұрын

You leave. That’s how you get out. You have to be strong enough to leave and seek something other than that dysfunction to give you purpose

@jeannenunua6818

Жыл бұрын

I went thru this exactly and had enough, now we are separated by law and he only gets visitations with his son. They need to want to do it themselves or it won't end.

@sue769

Жыл бұрын

I've been there, you just have to accept that it will be painful for a while and gather your strength, then leave, and don't look back (it'll be the best favour you ever did for yourself) The good news is that you understand the you are playing your part in this dysfunctional relationship. If someone is playing games with you, sooner or later you have to ask yourself 'why do I keep on picking up my bat?' As I say, been there my friend, put down your bat and walk away. Good luck x

Be alone and enjoy the company 🔑🎯

My parents. My Dad quit drinking and made amends. My mom still blames the world for her problems and sunk into a huge depression

@mariachueva8056

Жыл бұрын

Victim state very comfy state

@manuelsanchez6221

Жыл бұрын

It's very productive, you get to pass on responsibilities to others while you're never at fault, you deserve understanding and much attention, people will not criticize you, you get much assistance from all levels....

@thankyoujesus2836

Жыл бұрын

Sadly this only happens when sb is in ‘victim state’ it should be the norm and people wouldn’t act like this

I often think me and the wife got along better when I was drinking. I quit because I thought it was a habit. She was like, why did you quit?

@cm-yu6gu

Жыл бұрын

Damn that's fucked Did she want you to start again?

@angelitalee4727

Жыл бұрын

U two got together for a dysfunctional reason and when you’ve changed and she hadn’t , it’s unbalanced. Don’t ever go back to drinking to please her.

@juliemclain5841

Жыл бұрын

Was it harming either of you?

@cm-yu6gu

Жыл бұрын

@@juliemclain5841 is that a serious question Drinking is of the most harmful things you can do to yourself

Thank you for making this!!!!

@rammingspeed4941

Жыл бұрын

YOU ARE WILLING BECOME MY PREGNANT WAIFU!!!!???????!!!!!!!!

Do not victimize yourself because it's comfortable in comparison. Be around others who encourage you to grow.

There are no gurus gentle souls. Follow those who claim to have all the answers with great discernment. ❤

She's my new role model 😊

Yup. It's all very well described in the book Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood.

@m_christine1070

Жыл бұрын

I read that book when I was 20. I retained nothing. I made all the mistakes for the past 36 years after reading the book. It took my partners death to finally make me see. I was blind to everything. I have so much regret and I can't get over my grief. I am so guilty, but I can only believe that I wasn't the same person I am since he died and there was no way for me to know how blind I was.

@soniagheza391

Жыл бұрын

Are those women who love too much the bad men? Why don't they choose to love the good men ?!

@marijanamajic

Жыл бұрын

@@soniagheza391 due to childhood trauma. Read the book. It's mind-blowing.

Where we place blame is where the power is

This makes sense why my best friend’s wife comes across as so intimidating. Not because there’s any interest or that she is unpleasant. But because she’s so put together. My last girlfriend was incredible. But there was this “spark” that was missing. It might have been that it was something I couldn’t recognize and appreciate as something healthy.

Teal, you have some amazing information! I so wish that some of your content was in Spanish to share with people here in Mexico. I truly love your thoughts!

Her voice is so soothing

As a kid who grew up in exactly that. Holy moly she is on point. Both ways.

people love their roles they choose

Got the T-shirts, with my Mother, Teal. Being careful not to fall into another co-dependent trap with a woman. Keep up your beautiful wisdom with your beautiful self.

Someone who is tolerant, nonviolent and not judgmental is what everyone should try to be

@semplybalanced3210

Жыл бұрын

Nah people need way more than that to be a properly functioning healthy adult. What u suggest would make someone very susceptible to abuse.

@sociallyinept5430

Жыл бұрын

@@semplybalanced3210 you ignore the word everyone.

Yeah, what you're getting out of it is the opportunity to re-live the initial trauma and try to heal it. You're not doing anything wrong, it's just the way the process works. #partswork #selflove

I'm 100% against the tarot cards and metaphysical stuff, it fact I believe it can be incredibly dangerous. Regardless, I'm in awe of this woman's wisdom, it rivals that of the priests and rabbis I've heard. However, she covers very specific topics, often from both sides of a relationship, which greatly increases the depth of the topic being covered. I believe listening to her wisdom has personally helped me with more indepth introspection. She once said "A very good man is a very dangerous man with incredible self control". She also basically said that for a man to feel complete, he must experience his physical power (daily) and also understand his disparity of strength, compared to a woman. Understanding that disparity of strength, he needs to understand that he's meant to be a protector of, not a dominator of women and children. Recently putting those concepts into practice has changed the trajectory of my life. I've always been capable of protecting my loved ones, but I've never been a model of self control and all though I've never tried to intimidate my loved ones, they know my physical capabilities and know that I have a short fuse with others, which has translated into my family being cautious in engaging me in certain types of conversations or having me around their freinds. Apparently, I can be scary. Coincidentally, my grown daughter and son have recently explained how they feel, which is about the same time my life trajectory started to change (due in large part to this lady's wisdom). So, I was able to have the conversation without being annoyed and being able to fully listen. I've now started to exercise very vigorously, for the first time in 20 yrs and I'm fully committed to focusing my strength towards being positive. I generally consider myself a feral rescue dog. I'm mostly a lap dog, but occasionally I'd go into a barking rant, such that my loved ones were sometimes uneasy around me. That's not cool, so I'm changing how I interact with my family and the world. Thank you wise lady for sharing your perspective with the world! My wife is jealous of my interest in you, but I keep reassuring her that my interest is purely academic. Chicks!

@CotelioGrahamn

Жыл бұрын

Teal is meeting a need of yours that had gone unfulfilled, and now you're making changes (I presume.) Do you understand how a life partner might have some amount of jealously to digest around that situation?

@cornpop7805

Жыл бұрын

@@CotelioGrahamn I kind of understand, but as far as my wife is concerned, Teal might as well be an imaginary cartoon character. It's not like I could start a relationship with her if I wanted. She's basically a celebrity with some sage advice that she's sending out the the world. I'm just receiving it and putting it to good use. It's as silly as if I were jealous of Dr. Phil because my wife finds his words helpful. It's really not a big thing, I just noticed that when I showed some of Teals videos to my wife, daggers came out of her eyes and she put Teal down a little. Just a mild case of jealous behavior. But, it's certainly a woman thing.

@daniemotioninsound

Жыл бұрын

I suppose your wife might feel inadequate if Teal has more knowledge than her (and probably she does) and you're so interested in her. That per se is not a problem though, but jealousy has its function - your wife probably wants to be closer to you or she wants you to see her as someone special (just like you look at Teal). It doesn't have to be in the same way (intellectual), but she probably feels something's missing... I think Teal also has some videos on jealousy.

@HisDearMissK

Жыл бұрын

@Cornpop might your wife be an October or November born?

@cornpop7805

Жыл бұрын

@Dear Miss K I understand that Teal is into horoscopes, tarot cards, and other eastern mysticism, but I firmly believe that these practices are to be avoided. That being said, I believe Teal is incredibly wise in her understanding of people and relationships. I can concede that and simultaneously denounce the mysticism aspect. All that to say, I won't involve myself in horoscopes or other eastern mysticisms. I do, however, appreciate your willingness to engage with me.

Yes leave or clear energy. Greatness.

I can attest to this as FACTUAL information!! I’ve always known this but I am living proof and I’m glad because it only makes me feel better when I know that I am correct about 99% of the honest truths in this crazy world we are all living in! May god bless us all…

Not just that but also they don't feel they can financially take care of themselves

Wow! After a break of well, God knows how many, but at least well 7-8-9 years, well here I am back and i well love her and understand her better.

Wow. This was the exact revelation I had with my last relationship. It's what saved me.

Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt. Once you learn, self love, there’s no going back and there’s no longer dysfunction in your relationships going forward. ❤

Her voice is soo soothing I could listen to her all day baby

I just love hearing her voice, very modulated and speaks well and easy to understand.

I used to be in this trap but after years of being completely drained from my awful relationships I grew up and realized Im most content when Im alone.

With Gratitude! ! ! Blessed Be! ! !

Overstood 💯

You are not in traffic - you are traffic.

I fully agree, sometimes you stay because you think it's easier.

Wondering your thoughts Teal- I grew up with a very healthy family and had good self esteem but still ended up with an abusive partner who I felt I couldn't leave (I felt I was the only one who could help because he staked so much of his happiness on me being in his life). How could this happen?

I learned this in therapy; I was an enabler and codependent. Now I know my true value and NOW accept the part I played plus the work that needs to be worked on daily.

what a revealing talk, exposing a small part of dysfunctional relationship tendencies.

This is something I'm interested in and have seen, but not quite sure what it's like in details. This video helps me understand it soooooooo much, thank you.

I really needed this. Thank you!!

Mind blown... every time 🤯

It’s so important to heal codependency

Ive spent 55+ yrs exiled from parents and society attempting to heal but moving, cell phones, superficial friends and a car accident left me 100% alone in the end ❤❤❤loved em all anyway ❤❤❤ now perps via remote neural monitoring 😮😮

Wow ! Never heard this out so succinctly 😮

I like this Lady 🌹🌹❤️🌹🌹

Ive always respected Teal Swan and powerful knowledge on relationship dynamics, masculine & feminine energies, and emotional intelligence. This vid so advance level of thinking and understanding, I had to watch it a few times to realize what she was talking about. Thank you for the video.

You know my ex girlfriend is exactly like that I admitted I have an alcohol problem she took my kids even though I was the one who paid all the bills and she was the abusive one I got sober she didn't know 3:30 in the morning a.m. she came back with all the kids months later it wasn't three days and alcohol was brought back into the house and I was saying no I can't do it I won't be able to fight the temptation she ended up taking my kids away again not because I was a bad father because I was the best father her kids have ever seen and best father my son will probably ever see three-year-old baby boy love of my life but just because I refuse to continue down the insanity path called her life she realized that there was no way she could control me and I refuse to allow her to pull me back down so I was demanding it no more alcohol be in the house so the only thing she thought was while I'm taking a nap let me steal the kids again so what you're saying is 100% true and I lived it

@josephr875

Жыл бұрын

It turned out that I was a bad person for wanting to get sober and getting our life in a good position and stop blowing money on stupid things that cause problems and she just never learned how to grow up

This is an eye opener

Thank you for sharing information

That me 🙋‍♂️. I’ve been doing a lot of self work. Therapy. Childhood trauma and codependency. It’s been helping set boundaries and focus on myself.

I love her outfit !!

It’s so true, I admit I love my wife who has now passed away. Our relationship was full of everything , but me being down on myself in those times, I needed her and sometimes felt guilty why is she with me. Our relationship was fascinating with adventure and the time together was learning by doing. What you see later breaks me. Please look within your self

Brilliant explanation

If something is true then it is this. So, so true. Im the end you don't know who the villain is. Lots of parents are like that.

Thankyou kindly

Well said, my dear.

Also the dependence paradox is a great concept to learn about. Its healthy ❤

Thank you...

Exactly what has happened in my home for over a decade.

I have been stuck in the question "what did I do?" like forever, but this is a much deeper question "why did I do it? what do/did I gain from her disfunctional behaviour?" I wrote it down and it began to blossom thoughts, feelings, memories, it was beautiful. I had been feeling getting some of my sense of goodness from this for some time. But this was amazing, like completing a circle. Thanks Teal, it was quite eye opening. I felt extremely hopeless before, but now, when I see what I'm getting out of it, that I'm part of it (reading the extensive list that I wrote and it was in front of me), it gave me back some sort of control over my life (past/present/future) with a lot of hope, and peace

@proffrank8385

Жыл бұрын

I would go even further. Seeing all the beautiful moments, our children, the intimacy, the hard times, the trivial stuff of our daily life ... if someone gave me a time machine to travel to the moment I met her, I would do everything in the same way, even with the same mistakes, in order to have the children we had, which I adore the way they are, under the same circumstances, and don't miss every beautiful and meaninful moment we had. I feel like really at peace with my past right now, and so with my present, with what I have and what I am. Thinking about the future is getting less stressful, cause if I have this present that I accept (and begin to love right now) and I am who I am (which I'm begining to love also) after everything that it happened and I did, then, no matter what it happens right now, no matter what I do right now, as the present is a gift, the future will be also a gift, a gift that I don't need to know in advance, and I started to want less to anxiously control any future outcome. So again, thanks Teal.

Right on point!!!; Everything she talks about, has so much insight it's all true. I took my partner for granted and didn't appreciate him. He had addiction problems. He died unexpectedly in feb22. I have so much regret. We were both codependent, both dysfunctional. Rest peacefully, Rusty. I'm so sorry. We miss you and love you so much. ❤️

So needed to hear this. Thank you.

Coming from an alcoholic riddled family including my ex this is true! Thankfully there were many of us who had enough in us to listen to this stuff and broke the chain of dysfunction in the family 🙂

They say that codependency does not exist outside an abusive relationship.

@thankyoujesus2836

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Codependency creates narcisissm

I was in a codependent trap due to generational pathologies, BUT I did get out of the cycle without leaving the relationship. With God, prayer and therapy, both my husband and I healed from past childhood traumas and now function in a harmonious and peaceful coexistence parenting our 5 about to be 6 children. We are very blessed and God can redeem and resurrect any marriage no matter how hopeless if both have faith.

We don’t deserve that unfortunately we are raised in such dysfunctional families when there are so many healthy men out there in the world

Crazy..I don’t feel like I’m worth loving for sure but I can’t imagine hurting someone like that for my own benefit

so true.

Yes! I've been in that situation. It's taken a lot of work to not regress to that type of relationship.

Oh god this!!. You can only pray you’re worth more to them for them to get better and treat you better…

This was me I have low self esteem and my family abuses me I dated a autistic man for almost 7 years in hopes he would help me. He really couldn’t because he was dysfunctional and he left me when I needed him most. He taught me that I can take care of myself even when I needed help.

Good thing i love my self

Teal has a sense of superiority to think that its better to be with someone dysfunctional. Why? Because being with some dysfunctional gives her the power to feel superior.

Wao! She is so correct.. 👍

It's a social norm to be in a relationship. We all like to be accepted hence live in a relationship

I used to be like that but i found that i became more the person that celebrated the fact that they had recovered and was more the one who went looking for new things to do with them now that they weren't trapped anymore... and now i'm finding that the ppl who are trapped don't want to leave the trap and i don't want tostay in the dysfunction with them anymore... i used to be the enabler but now i've ceased to be that coz i'm tired of being with the dysfunction and all its limitations on life...

Omg you're bloody right.

Can you touch more on the law of assumption? & with this healing core woulds when we encounter such people & choose to grow does that disqualify the disfunction aspect inorder to not hold people hostage to outdated paradigm old programs yet personal development to rise transform to live best version! by awareness accountability & notice that of ones projections & perceptions for expansions in experiences qualityz.. If everyone is a mirror * we only perceive that which we assume to be. Thank you everso love

Or a partner buying junk food yet complaining the spouse is fat. Not in my relationship, but I have heard this can happen often.

Yes. My ex husband was the one who called my parents and put me in rehab. But he was the first one to complain how boring I was when I was healthy and happy and sober. He would buy me a bottle of vodka go out and cheat on me and then call my parents the next day and said that I was drinking again.

Wow! Sounds like me! Wow! I just realized it!