Poeple act like I can go off by myself for 10-20 mins, recharge, and come back but I find it’s better to go and go and go until I’m empty and then just leave.

@jliller

2 күн бұрын

I really like a good, quiet break to recharge, but more like an hour rather than 15 minutes. This is especially true if I am feeling overstimulated or otherwise overwhelmed. Particularly, I like to have a quiet lunch and read a chapter of a book. Then I'm refreshed and ready to come back for the rest of the day.

@_carbonarawhore

2 күн бұрын

Yes, thank you! It's so important to me that people bring this up, because in mainstream media people always label this as toxic or you're overworking yourself. Unfortunately I believed those people, not knowing that my brain works differently than neurotypicals. Btw Paul mentioned this in one of his videos (work > crash > rejuvenate etc). I forgot the actual terms he used but it really resonated with me. My only regret is I wish I knew this sooner (also doesn't help that I was late diagnosed).

@trevor807

2 күн бұрын

Man, my recovery takes minimum 24 hours. Shit sucks

This. This just describes everything right now. You’re entirely right, recovering from work is work, not rest. I’ve had to spend whole weekends recovering from work at times and then there’s just no time for the things I want. If I do the things I want I end up feeling further in the ground. Working out what’s causing it to be so hard would be nice. I know working from home has helped as it’s less talking and less ad hoc meetings but it still doesn’t feel like enough.

"Work-recover from work" define my last almost 20 years. Exhausting!

This popped up in the middle of a conversation I'm having with my girlfriend... about how we're both SO burnt out right now. Can feel a bigger burnout coming. Just too much with work, new coworkers, new social situations, bills, doctors visits, everything! It all feels like too much sometimes for both of us.

this is so important! also, _you procrastinate_ because you associate the activity with the compromise you think you cannot do it without (masking for example) deep down or perhaps quite explicitly _you're aware_ that more recovery is a trap as it only leads to more work - that you could really do without for a while now but then realizing a way you _can_ do the activity without making compromises eliminates the inner resistance! granted, it's easier said than done, though it's not a problem to be overcome by force, but a creative challenge to invent a solution for ~

ugh you just made me realize that I literally didn't stop "working" for 15 years aside from a single 2 week holiday when I was 23...

How does one address the burnout when chronic illness consumes most of my energy, and I'm desperate to feel well enough for long enough to socialize? I feel despair-levels of lonliness on my worst days, so isolated and alone.

Cannot believe it, this video is like a reply to my most important unasked question! Burnout (and masking, which you mention here as well, and I also would put them together and the pair makes me feel completely powerless) is my BIGGEST current struggle and what you are saying really speaks to me! THANK YOU so much! 💓

I thought that the fact the environment is the real issue was obvious. Also, being away from people, and not 'hanging out' with friends, is what rejuvenates me. People (even though I love some of them dearly) are exhausting, energy consuming, confusing, and draining. I prefer spending time with animals and by myself. Giving my attention, time, effort and energy to another human is always intentional, purposeful, well thought out and very costly to me, unbeknownst to the individual in question. I get angry when random people at work monopolize my time & energy because then afterwards I don't have much to give to those few souls I actually enjoy listening to & spending time with. Work related environment is the biggest drain on my energy ever. It appears that the presenter is biased towards socializing at any cost. Some people simply don't want to socialize that much (masking or not masking) and prefer silence and solitude instead.

@patchoulidrop

2 күн бұрын

I really identify with this. I just want to amplify you.

@jliller

2 күн бұрын

Introversion.

@lauraa7042

2 күн бұрын

I love spending time with myself.

@jasonuren3479

2 күн бұрын

Is he biased, or just sharing a point of view? That said, agree with everything else in your comment. Spot on.

@alexandraperezdeagreda326

2 күн бұрын

Also a very interesting take; thanks for your perspective on this. I find, almost every voice helps gain a clearer understanding of my own situation (am currently in burnout, trying to figure it out)...I notice that you shared that your work-environment is definitely the most draining thing, to you; and after watching the video, I'm left wondering, wether it may be due to the depletion from work, that you've simply not got any energy left to endure any kind of socializing at all... D'you think that may be the case? Obviously, I'm aware that I only have your single comment to go by, in terms of context, and that I'm surely missing quite alot of info on your situation, obvs'. But, as I noticed this, thought I'd ask to get your impression... Who knows, maybe your way of detailing your own experience might help me to a realization or an "aha", about my personal journey? Edit: "...Asking for a friend" 😉😏🤭😅

I do find that spending time with safe people gives me energy while being in a large group of strangers or unsafe people drains me. So, I limit being in places that drain me and strategically choose activities that give me energy.

Everyone including you talk about buckets but just like someone else said about a well, I'm better off just leaving myself in the well because there's not enough energy in me to climb out of it. I have a good 4 to 5 hours at a time and then I'm absolutely DEPLETED. Naps help but my life becomes a total mess when I'm not allowed it. 😭

@kittymetal186

2 күн бұрын

Exactly the same for me.

Reading through the comments so far, I found myself resonating to a lot of them, even some that seemed almost contradictory. This is because at 63, I've felt each of them at different times and places in my life. I don't profess to have all of the answers, or any of them for any particular person, because the answers will vary. They will vary from person to person, they will vary over time for each person, and they will vary according to each situation and environment. There isn't any one simple, permanent solution that I have ever found. If anyone else has, please do share it. 😉 The idea of seeing recovery as part of work doesn't quite work for me because my brain gets all tangled up in arguments with myself over what words do and don't mean. Damn it! The idea itself, though, that just zoning out & vegging when not working often doesn't lead to boosting energy rings very true. If it's going to work at all, then it will do so fairly quickly, within a few days or weeks. If it doesn't after a few weeks, it's not going to. Continuing to do what doesn't work is an exercise in futility, although it may feel as if that's all we have the energy for. For myself, it's much easier to work as long as I can maintain my flow to the completion of each task. Then swap to a different type of task if possible. Variety helps, but attempting to multitask doesn't. I can no longer maintain long bursts of energy, but could when I was younger and healthier. The situation at university was similar for me, although school was different and much more difficult. Uni was sometimes madly busy and/or stressful, but on the whole I thrived there. Why was that? It was a structured environment with constraints and expectations that were clear. But I'd chosen subjects I was interested in, I had a chance to deep dive and focus, but also to experience new things, new ideas, meet new people. It wasn't perfect, I not infrequently struggled, but that combination of structure and variety worked for me. Validation helped too, with good grades and successful interactions and so on. I actually felt good about myself for a change. I've been much reduced in recent years, and now find myself isolated and living a much smaller life. There are certain aspects of that which I enjoy, and some are inescapable due to age and poor health. Others, though, are self-inflicted and on closer examination may not have been good choices. Making good choices isn't easy, and sometimes there aren't any good ones, so you just have to choose the least objectionable one. Finding those things that recharge us better, that bring fun, that leave us tired but feeling good instead of tired and utterly drained takes thought and effort. I've certainly let many things slip, and shall have to consider what options are available to me. Thank you, Paul.

When I worked 5 days a week I got burnouts with increasing frequency until I got diagnosed with autism and realized that was behind the repeated burnouts. Having watched this video, I realize that working 5 days a week actually meant I spent 7 days a week "working", because the entire weekend would go to recovering from work (and household chores and other responsibilities. I don't really get burnout from work, I get burnout from *life*). I currently work 3 days a week, recover for 2 and then I still have 2 days to actually do things for myself, which seems to help me a bit. (Too bad this 3-day thing is not only a temporary measure but also financially unsustainable in the long run, so we'll see what happens when I can no longer do this. I predict another burnout.) Thank you for another wonderful video, it gave me a lot to think about!

I savor the days that I am on full speed. I sometimes work when I have no energy. It is hard to be a human with autism. I usually do not feel well at least once or twice a week. I steer clear of people when I am in down times. Jesus helps. He replenishes my weary soul. The energy of most people generally do the opposite. Psalm 23 explains what He does. I hang on to Psalm 23 like a life preserver. ♥️🕊

I wish I had known this years ago. I realized I was autistic about a year ago when I was in my early fifties. Until then, I took high pressure, status driven jobs out of family and peer pressure. I never understood why my health deteriorated, as well as my ability to deal with people well.

@auturgicflosculator2183

2 күн бұрын

Agreed, this applies to a lot of people. When we were kids, various factors discouraged us and our families from acknowledging the elephant in the room. It's quite the revelation when we discover what the elephant is and how it's affected every part of the complex system of our being.

Thank you for this reframing of work time and recovery time. One thing I've noticed is that during my recovery time, even if I'm "just" lying in my sensory nook listening to samebooks, my brain is really busy processing all of the things that have happened since the last time I had a chance to recover. My brain IS at work!

I experimented with unmasking at my most previous job. I was called dumb, slow, easily confused, rude and told I had an attitude problem. I am very smart and kind to everyone, idk why this was people's opinion of me. Anyway, I was fired after 3 months.

@damienclarke9854

2 күн бұрын

Yes, the experience of a lot of us.

@biancad2775

2 күн бұрын

I had such experiences too, some jobs have requirements that other people can meet easily, but I wasn't able too. I'm too slowly for it, for example working on the supermarket checkout was horrible for me, I had to leave after a week. But I had other jobs that was fine and that I was doing better than other people, for example jobs where I had to work alone and was able to focus on one set of tasks, for example working in a factory refilling a machine. I was getting very fast at this, because it's a repeating task, and there was not much social contact. This was the most relaxing work I ever had.

@kittymetal186

2 күн бұрын

I had enough of working with people who, despite my politeness and good work, were very unpleasant to me or ignored me. I cannot do office "small talk" (gossiping, what you did over the weekend, etc.). I switched to doing very specialized research that I was qualified to do to avoid working with people. However, I didn't have energy or social skills to set up my own consultancy business...so, yet again, I worked in an office and went full circle to being disrespected and ignored. All my work experiences damaged me permanently due to constant anxiety from being in an office with people.

@ivanaamidzic

Күн бұрын

My entire work strategy is to avoid working with people as much as possible and focus on work in solitude and do what I am good at, that can feed my intellectual curiosity, that I enjoy and I can use to help others indirectly - which is numbers and analytics. No small talk, nonsensical conversations, pointless chit chats, gossip, office politicking, etc. I get a rash from just thinking about it all.

@ammogan

Күн бұрын

@@ivanaamidzic that's what I'm looking to obtain! Still looking....

I find trying to maintain a hobby outside work is vital, for me it's creating music.

Oh my goodness, you put that into words so well! You just verbalized what I already knew and didn't know how to explain it exactly. Thank you!

The problem in our society is that everything is planned around work. A friend once did a time managrment course (intended to prevent burnouts) and she learned to plan the breaks first and work and other thing around the breaks!!! It's my experience that's it's best to accept the difficulties that autism brings and try to work with them instead of fighting them. How hard a blind person tries to see it won't happen, but he/she can learn to live with it by using helpful tools, etc. When I was getting a burn-out (a long time ago at work) I skipped my hobbies first. The burn-out than got really bad, because there was no compensation things that I enjoyed) anymore that kept a balance between work and relaxing.

Thank you for this, I find myself in this situation. I work in children’s nurseries and find it exhausting needing to be ‘on’ for them all the time.

This resonated so hard with me! You’ve put into words what I’ve been feeling for a couple of years now. Thanks Paul!

Exact words to my struggles at the moment, I don't often feel this seen from a video. Thank you.

This is an awesome video, I find myself drinking way more when I'm stressed and it does no good! Choosing a better way to unwind can help me overall way more than the short term "benefit" of alcohol. I will look into other ways to rejuvenate in a more complete way. Thank you for the reminder!

I remember being so tired at different points of my life due to having to socialize a lot. I have found accommodations helpful.

This is such an important perspective for me right now - I can't even thank you enough for articulating the problem so clearly and the different ways of looking at it. I do need to change something, but I'm not sure exactly what... but now I have a better way of approaching the problem.

Oh! Work plus recovery from work ...is all work. Of course it is! I love the analogy of the watering can: it all makes sense now. And my environment is unnecessarily draining - although I am taking steps to make it less so (by trying to be as minimalist as possible, and have my posessions organised for my convenience).

I found your article resonates so closely to what I am experiencing. I have only recently understood I may be on the autistic spectrum, so thank you for your insightful work. 😊

I have struggled with this a lot. I don't recall if it was your suggestion, but I started asking myself (during work) "Ok, how much time can I spend on this." Instead of pushing and rushing. It has helped a great deal. Thank you for your work!

Thank you again for putting all of that into words.

Yes, the entire well.

@jasonuren3479

2 күн бұрын

I like the way you reinterpreted the title. Very good!👏 Agree.

I've never heard it said this way. Describes me very well. Thanks for the advice 🙏

I need a good mix of solitude and intellectual stimulation to function properly. The worst professions i have tested are factory work, working outside with stuff like gardening and similar. It messes so much with my head and part of it is the extreme boredom coming from these jobs. Best jobs so far is in IT where i get to do things in a way that works for me. Around here, the IT field is friendlier to neurodiverse people than other types of professions i have tried.

I've been very nervous lately, and that makes my muscles tighter longer.

Thanks for the aha moment you gave me! It's very helpfull to understand why i got here.. and how I should look at the future and arange things to prevnet another time!

This helps. I was trying so hard to be efficient that losing the energy that it took ultimately made me inefficient.

Great presentation. The right framework is competitive sports, mountaneering, where preparation and recovery are 90% of the days of activity vs 10% competition or ascent. That's the way all primates function too.

Also considering diet to improve metabolic health is helpful. Plant based diet helps with energy. Fruit and vegetables especially… Autism is symptom of metabolic dysfunction so diet is something to consider

Thank you for your video Paul. This is very helpful and gives one a different perspective on the subject. ❤

Wow, thank you so much! This video was insanely helpful for me.

Thank you Paul, your analogies are really helpful.

One tip from my therapist is to scan my body for emotions. Emotions are felt in the body - it can vary person to person, but for example being nervous might be felt as a sort of bubbling feeling in the stomach etc. Autistic people often experience alexithymia, where detecting and naming emotions can be more difficult. So to recognize what one is feeling helps to process the emotions (it would be best to do this scan frequently). Just focus on your whole body: the face, neck, stomach, feet, ... and think if you notice something. Then you an think about why you are feeling this emotion, even if you recognize some earlier events that have triggered the same thing, and if you are really experiencing that thing or reliving an earlier event triggered by some similarity. Recognizing the emotions in the body even itself can already help to let go - the emotion did its task, notified you of something. And it can be a great gateway to processing some past events, too. So how is this related to burnout? Emotions building up, being left unprocessed contribute a lot to burnout. Not recognizing which things are burdening you emotionally also cause burnout. And finally, not processing the emotions throughout the day means that the emotions pop up when you're idle - that is, at bed time. Recognize the thoughts going on in a loop after a stressful day? Yeah, that's it. The emotions are saying to you "hi, I'm here, please pay attention to me". And the body scan actually helps me to process the emotions that I've ignored during the day and thus also help me falling asleep. Getting enough good quality sleep is also one key to reducing burnout. This is not a silver bullet and I'm still learning to use this method consistently (especially during the daytime), or when I get e.g. strong emotions that I recognize but do not fully acknowledge and process. Phew this was a long one, but hopefully helpful!

I haven't been able to stop thinking about this video since I watched it last night. Here's the thing - what if 12-15 hours of work per week is just fine? What if we change our ideas of what pace is acceptable?

I definitely understand the college hyperdrive feeling. I was doing 3 Bachelor's all at once and research as a first generation.

great analogy and advice. thank you

Thank you, it was super helpful for me!

Your articulation level is just another level…

I live in Government Housing where I get Harassed and Intimidated by other Tenants and so I spend a lot of time and effort avoiding them which is really draining and burns me out! Then I am in bed for days with depression! This Environment is sooo wrong for me!

the most exhausting thing for me is hours of back to back meetings at work and having to go to office. if i don’t go to the meetings, I become a blocker to the work. I don’t know how to avoid it. I want to get a fully remote job, but the job market isn’t great, and i’m terrible at interviewing, especially the test taking, and i worry the work culture will be worse than where i am now

I eat out instead of doing the cooking "work". I wash my clothes where the washing machine does the "work", and I give the ironing "work" to a service provider. I started doing that even before I knew I was autistic.

Thanks, Paul!

wow, this video help a lot. Some things are really hard to let go but it's the best decision.

This is exactly how my husband and I have been feeling and it feels like a hamster wheel. A change in environment…now that is something I am going to have to really think about. Not feeling like I can be myself is definitely draining but I do worry about how people would respond if I suddenly started being myself. Afraid of losing friends or respect…

this is so nicely said & great in theory. i think i'd need a professional tho to help me actually do this, in practice.

Just had in-laws here for daughter’s graduation. I was a non-stop machine in prep (staining fences/painting house/cleaning etc) for 2 months. Then came the weeklong visit and loads of masking. Everything was ‘perfect’. They left and I’m toast. My hubs just doesn’t get it. It’s summer. Time for loads of fun…and I want nothing to do with anything. I’ve been feeling so guilty. Thanks for this video!

that is all well and good, but what about those of us who are also totally depleted but also parents? i can't really parent in 'zombie mode', and it's unfair to my partner to rely on them to support me on top of the kid(s).

Since I was a child asking what’s so different about me, and why am I unable to communicate like, understand, or play with the other people/kids like everyone else. Trying to understand what’s so different, and what is it that I wasn’t getting. How is everyone else able to interact with each other, and do the whole back, and fourth interaction thing. Why am I in the corner by myself with some books while everyone else is interacting, and building little houses for the caterpillars while everyone else is able to do the whole interaction thing. What questions do I ask, or what words do I utilize in conversation to have a conversation, and make friends. Sometimes nonverbal, and not understanding those around me with a very extensive vocabulary for my age equal, or even more than that of the adults around me. Often very bored, very tedious in schools with such basic/boring knowledge. Wanting to learn something for once that I didn’t already know. I would sometimes be losing my mind at the sheer incompetency of adults, and for trying to explore the world around me locked into a little room by myself with nothing but a time magazine of the 10,000 year old mummy frozen in ice for hours as punishment for not being like the rest of the kids. I would be hit, isolated, ignored, and abused for being myself wanting to learn, and ask questions. Turned away from anyone who would be able to help me, meds kept away from me, religion trying to replace medical care, turned away from getting help from police, school counselors, medical care, any type of help, and even not allowed to speak about to Therapist’s whilst the first part of my life having to live in silence, controlled, or taken advantage of by many. Not even able to get legal assistance, or a social worker to help explain things to me in terms I’d be able to understand, keeping me quiet, complacent, and trying to dictate my life demonizing my conditions. Always trying to cure, abuse, cover up my symptoms of ADHD, and Autistic/Asperger’s was called gifted, or exceptional abilities in certain areas, while even receiving medical trauma being strapped to tables, and it being conducted in what was supposed to be just routine testing, and procedures whilst just being curious asking questions wanting to know what was going to be done to me. A lot of bullying going towards the adults who were supposed to be there to help me, but as soon as I was getting assaulted, and things became physical I fought back hurting 3 kids on the bus one day after just keeping to myself going about life. This was after a multitude of months of me letting people know what was going on, and I was the one to be punished. Even getting bullied, and harassed by adults as a child that just simply hated me for existing. Teen years I tried to end my own life twice, and once as an adult, but I ended up surviving each encounter. My handwriting isn’t the best so there was a feminist teacher who just inherently hated guy’s that would mark all of my answers wrong for not being able to draw a perfect dot even though the answers were correct. The bullying got worse by schools, counselors, medical staff, some law enforcement, police brutality, discrimination, and in home. There was no place that I was able to get help, be safe, or get any help, and answers. Just kept getting told I’m making excuses, later on learning that it was others making excuses for not wanting to help any, and expecting me to be normal as I was continuously harassed being made to feel bad for just existing not going along with whatever I was being told. Constantly being turned away from any sort of help, or assistance, and with heavy pressure from huge organizations like certain catholic groups being forced to be a certain way I would be forcibly isolated despite being a decent, kind, loving, caring, and understanding person. Some of the things you spoke about resinated with me, and not really knowing what to do during certain meltdowns unable to think, or process certain things during certain situations when the brain is overloaded, and is unable to even start to think about what to say, or do. Some people saw me as dangerous, a burden, or even a nuisance. I’m not a very buff dude, and have taken multiple classes in martial arts mainly defensive styles only, not being allowed to even know about my own conditions while trying to confuse me, or lie to me making certain assumptions, and like certain things it wasn’t. Constantly filling my mind with doubts, or trying to be sneaky, and really shady about things only talking in ways that were kind of the exact opposite of how my brain works. I’ll spare some details about a lot of other things that went on, but I’ve struggled so much to try to understand this world, have just been trying to survive, and learned to speak neurotypical to blend in out of constant fear. It goes back to a book from my childhood “Amongst The Hidden” plus “The Giving Tree” it’s like we have to be like everyone “or else” Autistic people being demonized for being different, and punished for just existing, not understanding the world like the rest, different thinkers, minds, unique, honest, and authentic. It was very strange having eye Dr’s, random teachers, addicts, certain police officers, raver’s, students, strangers, and random people throughout my life noticing certain things that the Dr’s, and Nurses wouldn’t even tell me, or noticed certain traits. Like all of these mental, traumatic, and neurological conditions were such a bad thing when I am not myself. Thanks for sharing your experience, and story by the way. What’s a way to go about this type of situation? I’m reaching out for help, and advice, but not really sure what to do about all of this. I know what was being done to me was wrong, and I’m just unsure who to go to about this anymore, or who I’m able to trust.

Sometimes I feel burned out on responsibility.

Great video Paul, and incredibly useful at this moment. Are there any scientific papers or articles you could recommend on the subject?

Nailed it

I have a recurring bad habit of escaping into alot of different things, postponing important things and stuff that I need to do, or problems that I know I must solve, to shifting into becoming desperate and a control freak after having been in this escapism phase for some time. When i get in the control freak phase, I end up doing EVERYTING at once, trying to do everything that Ive postponed, emailing people, replying to messages, fixing stuff, cleaning my room, sorting stuff in my apartment, managing my folder structure on my computer etc. Its like I "wake up" from my esacape phase in extreme anxiety and realize "how overwhelmingly much" there suddenly is to do. In the control freak phase I try to solve every problem and change everything at once, only to end up whrere I started, on square one, because thinking that I can fix everything at once does in fact in reality fix nothing. When i start fixing a few things it feels good becayse I started to sort out all the stuff I need to fix, and I get some energy in the beginning, but then I end up super tired and stressed in the end of that day, because I cannot stop until "everythings checked of my todo list". The feeling I get when shifting to this excessive compulsive behaviour is that of a panic, like "if I dont to this, x or y will happen". It feels very desperate and its like I cannot think of what will happen if my plans fails or if cant control whats gonna happen. Its a repetitive toxic cycle I dont know how to get out of. Im thinking of possible doing much smaller todo lists like someone in another video suggested to have a daily todo list of only four things. maybe thats something I could try. But I sometimes end up writing these todo lists long anyways, and thats why I postpone things in the fist place. I think that I might be prioritizing wrong, maybe not excludiong non-essential stuff like you talked about Paul. Does anyone have this issue and what did you do to get out of this cycle?

I was working half time during burnout recovery. After a while, I had time and energy to do the work, and to live as well. Working full time I am having about the same amount of things done in work, but not much at home. And no energy to live...

I have a question that is unrelated to this video: Could you maybe make a video about signs that people might ONLY have ADHD, and not ASD? Because I have been diagnosed with ADHD last year, and I fell down a rabbit hole about neuro-diversity, and I relate to a lot of the things you and other creators talk about but I don't know if it's just my ADHD or if I should maybe look into an ASD diagnosis. It takes a super long time to get an appointment, and I also don't want to make the waitlist longer for others if it ends up being nothing. So if you're interested in talking about some signs that point towards ADHD and not ASD, I would really appreciated, and I'm sure some other people would too!

I have noticed that i never seem to get better at dealing with the neurotypical world. Every time my interaction with the neurotypical world increases i get worse in most areas like energy resources.

Alright I'll just get rid of my 6 months of hayfever, the sounds of the highway and airport right outside my window, my CPTSD hypervigilance, my anxiety disorder, my gender dysphoria, my general sense of impending doom about the state of transphobia in the world, oh, and also unmask. No biggie. Jokes aside, this is a helpful way of thinking about it. It makes sense now why I can't have a job, yet feel exhausted, overwhelmed and burnt out a lot of the time, just because of having to do sh!t like visit therapists and cook food. My backpack is very heavy. But yeah I'm not sure how to fix this.

Some masking is a necessary evil, is minimal, and can be beneficial, but accidentally landing in the wrong part of a conversation can present issues.

Ok but what if you worked so hard in the hopes of getting to rest that you became disabled, have not left your home in years, withdrew completely from everything, but you will never get to rest?

How can i apply this when im not able to work? Im still very low energy on most days, even tho ik jobless for about 5 years now

Mosques are a good place to get socialisation. You turn up, smile and greet each other, smalltalk is disliked, its normal to sit in a corner with a book and rude to be disturbed, is a grave sin to judge someone or speak behind their back (gossip leads to the fire!), its quiet, the prayer is like a short yoga class led by poetry, people will teach you arabic/world history/great philosphers at the drop of a hat (instead of gossip), if you have a problem they will listen and try to help as an instinctive or conscious act of worship, and as long as you don't reject God they care about you deeply enough to want to help your soul. If you don't like bars and clubs, try a mosque!

Yeah, this is exactly how work defines a whole life for people with low status. If you're poor, you stay poor, because all you do is work for survival. Like a slave. Because you are a slave. And it's like this for all of our history. It's neverending clasism and there is no coach work that can help you with it.

How do I know if I mask?

This is totally a thing. How to fix it though?

What is the difference between university, where you did well, and work? At university, you did a lot of different things during a day. Different classes, different people, different environments. Perhaps you need to find a job which is closer to an environment like university where you can do well.

@jasonuren3479

2 күн бұрын

'Variety is the spice of life,' perhaps?

❣💌❣

God this has really shown me that I’m not going crazy 🥲 thank you so much for putting this into words