"Periods are free. Make use of them." Awesome

@retiefgregorovich810

3 жыл бұрын

Read Keith Laumer's Retief the Galactic Diplomat books. A paragraph is often one sentence and it flows naturally.

With regard to Mistake #4 - 'flappy hand syndrome': I believe it was Ernest Hemingway who said, "Never confuse movement with action." If a character is nervous simply say "she gulped" or a"her lip quivered". That's showing, not telling.

@MiaowMcDonald

3 ай бұрын

and Ernest was the MASTER of long, run-on sentences... lol

#4 Flappy-hand syndrome "Why couldn't you just say: 'She looked nervous.'"? Because every other writing advice says: "Show don't tell!"

@ItzNero69

4 жыл бұрын

but there's a mid-term

@schwarzerritter5724

4 жыл бұрын

@afootineachworld Most say "always".

@JamesSaintRave

4 жыл бұрын

OK--just saying "She looked nervous" is OK, if you want OK writing. I would have her coffee cup shaking a bit, or if she was alone (in a building) maybe taking out her pack of cigs and smelling them, because she can't smoke just yet. Writing CAN be fun you know!

@schwarzerritter5724

4 жыл бұрын

@@JamesSaintRave Isn't that exactly flappy-hand syndrome?

@JamesSaintRave

4 жыл бұрын

@@schwarzerritter5724 I am not sure what you mean--I was trying to keep folks from "floppy-writing syndrome". Ha! I do it every day.

There's some good advice here. The thing that saddens me, though, is that a lot of this stuff should be taught in grade school.

@garroshsucks12_

4 жыл бұрын

They do except they didn't pay attention.

@manialord1699

4 жыл бұрын

My school doesn’t

@jeremyheartriter2.063

4 жыл бұрын

Every good English teacher does.

@manialord1699

4 жыл бұрын

Jeremy Heartriter2.0 my school doesn’t have English class

@NonameWriter

4 жыл бұрын

It is, at least it was when I went (90s 😭), people forget or, maybe didn’t do that well in those classes but still enjoy writing. 💚

Having one character notice another character's physical appearance sits amongst the best solutions to problem 24 I've ever read.

"Periods are free, make use of them" Brilliant. #15, eliminate and abolish redundancy! Harry's Friday e-mail in video form. Great seeing you Harry.

I'm a confident writer and this video is honestly helpful

Very useful. #19, RanDom CapiTalisaTions (sic): I recently read a book written by a friend where she persisted in using a capital M for Mum in the middle of a sentence. It irked me somewhat. I looked into this and found out that the following two sentences; "I took my mum shopping" and "I took Mum shopping" are correct. The first because mum is a common noun and the second because Mum is a proper noun, replacing her name. It's not something I had encountered before. I re-read her book and found out she was right 50% of the time.

I have a problem with run-on sentences: sometimes I like them. A bunch of short sentences feels clipped.

@ChimpoTalksGaming

2 жыл бұрын

I've learned the rules of grammar are to be broken, with discrection, in order to create style.

@xChikyx

Жыл бұрын

i like long sentences

"She drew a line through every adjective in the submitted article from a meeting of the Florist Enthusiasts, reducing it's word count by half." T Pratchett in "The Truth" a story somewhat about a news paper.

@geraldfrost4710

4 жыл бұрын

Mistake number eleven: "Did you notice the writer of the note used five exclamation marks together? A clear sign of a person who wears his underpants over his head." Pratchett (again) in "Masquerade" a story somewhat about The Phantom of the Opera, but seen through the looking glass.

@sonyajay7008

4 жыл бұрын

its not it's :)

Agree with the vast majority of these, but not the "She looked nervous" one. If I want to be told, "She looked nervous," I'll listen to a radio play :P. Where description becomes a problem is when the novice writer overdoes it. But typically, showing isn't the problem, telling is.

@greatscott9231

4 жыл бұрын

#4 Flappy hand syndrome @2:30 The example given @2:59 is overwritten, but I agree. The solution is to simplify the showing, rather than keeping the telling, which is mistake #26. Perhaps: "Her hands twitched."

@alexandreayoung7920

4 жыл бұрын

Yes, I completely agree. We are told, "Show, don't tell." I like Great Scott!'s suggestion. It works really well.

The way I make sure I've used the right "it's/its" is I sound out "it is" whenever I see an It's/its. If it makes sense in the sentence to say "it is" then "it's is correct.

@t.thomas8919

4 жыл бұрын

Same with many others like it. Helps a lot.

@anneahlert2997

2 жыл бұрын

I always remembered that "yours" is possessive and has no apostrophe, just like the possessive "its."

@PEGGLORE

3 ай бұрын

Even more genius though, was my childhood method for getting correct to/too. Replace to/too with phonetic sound of 'tuh', like you're saying the word quickly, then if the sentence still sounds right in your head, then you use to, if it does not, then you use too. This really should be taught in all schools, and me getting the credit for realising it.

Am I the only one that noticed we never saw the card for Mistake #22?

@t.thomas8919

4 жыл бұрын

Shhhhhh.... XD

@Olasqy

4 жыл бұрын

22 Mistakes that Scream Amateur Video Editor

@reinettevisser

3 жыл бұрын

No, you’re not the only one who noticed.

@williamdunganjr.3021

3 жыл бұрын

Slide for Mistake #22 is a mistake. It Is A Repetition Of Mistake #21!!!!!

@shaunpaulcroft

3 жыл бұрын

There were cards?

Very helpful. All this time, I thought it was me, the reader, who couldn't manage to keep the 10 characters straight I was introduced to in the 1st chapter.

I’m beta reading a fantasy novel right now, and the poor girl has one giant compound sentence. I tried to help her, but she said she didn’t care.🤷🏻‍♀️

@rosiejones6692

3 жыл бұрын

Same. Unfortunately the writer has pages and pages of info dumping and I’ve suggested to cut all of it 🙈

@xChikyx

Жыл бұрын

long sentences are cool as long as they are coherent and used not too often. I use lots of long sentences in my books, I like them, and I don't really find problems reading or writing them, but I know some readers do. It's mostly an author preference most of the times tbh

It's unfortunate you didn't insert title cards with the suggested corrections, just the mistakes. Flashing examples of bad writing are impactful and memorable and always a good choice for these kinds of videos, but a specimen of how it would've preferably been written will accentuate those qualities even more (with the voice-over of course). Simply verbalizing the critiques also leaves a hanging feeling in the viewer, who most likely anticipated reading the improved version. "Show, don't tell;" applies to the visual language too. Other nitpicks: the quality of the audio recording could use a bump up. That lamp is distracting and would've been better turned off or even not included at all. Overall, despite those flaws, this is still an informative and helpful episode. Thanks for sharing.

Despite my experience, I still find I make at least one totally bone-headed amateur mistake every bloody time. Aggravating. But this is a great vid. Thanks.

@geraldfrost4710

4 жыл бұрын

@damian winkler For me it was writing an entire eight hundred word scene about a tree (spanning two thousand years) as a single sentence. I'd prefaced it with, "Okay, I'll give you a single sentenced summary," so I couldn't buy any periods.

Hi, I have recently completed my first novel and edited it. I wish I had found your video three weeks ago, it would have made my life easier. I have now subscribed and look forward to watching and learning more. Thank you.

@siterioffiji7649

Жыл бұрын

Congratulations on finishing your first novel! I hope you receive a great publishing contract.

Thank you so much for uncovering these 25 mistakes. I needed the information.

I've been watching writing help videos for years and this is the first time anyone's brought up #17 "weird paragraphs". Thank you so much, I just edited my draft to reflect this advice :)

A bed is the perfect place to start a story if that's how your story needs to start. One of mine starts in a hospital bed with the protagonist waking up in a strange situation after a huge crash. It's literally impossible to start the story any other way that wouldn't be boring, stupid, and waste a whole bunch of time. As always, you use what tools you need get your story underway. And... over a space of 100 years, the same protagonist starts three different chapters in almost the exact same situation, albeit in very different circumstances. I agree however, that an ordinary bed on an ordinary day is practically the worst way to start a story, unless it is a story about beds. And I think I just had an idea for a shorty about beds!

This was a great video.thank you for posting.

I like exclamation points depending on the context. Yelling to be heard and yelling in a panic are not the same thing so I use them to distinguish the emotional context. This comes from my own life as I've been yelled at for a great many reason. I think this comes down to a writers style and taste though I do warn people you probably want to place some strick rules on when you can and can not use them. I use said to but that is only if the emotions are not clearly prevalent. Otherwise I'm going to use expressive words like exclaimed, retorted, and inquired. Mix them up, they give context without the reader having to be told they felt excited. Showing is always better than telling. Oh and the adverbs the LY words. Unless they actually change the context of the action don't use them also make sure a better word does not exist. Smiling widely is also called grinning. Exclaimed excitingly, just say exclaimed because it's context suggest being excited.

Fabulous information. Thank you!

Very informative. Thank you!

Thanks for the great video. Alot of writing mistakes you listed I haven't heard before.

Thank you! Really informative information.

This is a very useful video.I am a new writer and such good advice is good enough to watch more than once.

Fantastic video. So much more relevant info than most. Thank you.

I love this video. Entertaining and informative as always. Thanks for adding humor to the points, it sets you apart from other writing vloggers. Also just a note that you have a doubled slide on points #20 & 21.

I watch these videos and sometimes they help, and sometimes they seem too restrictive. Don't start in bed, or a hospital, or with a dream. Why? Because it turns off the reader or the publisher? I've NEVER opened a book, read the first page, thought "another dream sequence", and shut the book. I open books, start reading and if it is interesting, continue reading. I see, don't make the first chapter too complicated, which reads to me as, assume your reader is simpleminded and can only understand simple things. I see, don't change perspectives, yet my all time most loved book is Dune, which broke this rule numerous times. They are yet again trying to make this book into a movie. I see, show, don't tell, then see tell, don't show. I see don't show too much character movement, then see don't have talking heads. How about just saying make the story FLOW naturally so the reader don't notice. I'm reading Truthwitch at the moment, and to me it jars because the characters never walk or run; they stomp, stride, saunter, march, lope, twirl. They do things I have to get a dictionary out to understand. What's wrong with just walking or running? I see too much in the way of conflicting directives.

@andersonced

3 жыл бұрын

Ffs.... 1. Decide what your story is. 2. Write an interesting, true sentence. 3. Follow that with another interesting, true sentence. 4. Keep in this way until your story is told. All other rules be damned.

@andersonced

3 жыл бұрын

To follow my previous comment, favorite opening in a book comes from Joe Hill's Horns: "Ignatius Martin Parrish spent the night drunk and doing terrible things. He woke the next morning with a headache, put his hands to his temples, and felt something unfamiliar, a pair of knobbly pointed protuberances."

@matthewbergman6803

3 жыл бұрын

I assume my reader is smarter than me, so trust they'll know hard verbs.

@sidmarx7276

2 жыл бұрын

@Sam Pem Back when only talented writers wrote, i.e., before computers, authors were free to write however the fuck they wanted. Then the herd showed up and hammered all the stock beginnings into present cliches. Worse, the author-agent dynamic changed; Now writers have to kiss agents' asses rather than vice versa as before.

@lunarifox3227

2 жыл бұрын

Although dune is a genre defining book of a generation, the example doesn’t quite hold up here. Dune was written in 1965. Writing has changed since then, as weird as that sounds.

I have some work to do.

Great tips, thank you!

Rule: Try not to begin with characters in bed. Me: My character begins in a hospital gurney. Rule: Avoid the white room. Me: 👁️👄👁️ 😆

Straight down the barrel good advise. Thank you.

Thank you good sir. This was a great video

Very useful, thanks.

Yes, I always enjoyed my work at the Department of Redundancy Department.

Thankyou for the great advice

5,6,7 of those amateur flaws could have easily been classified as verbose. And long sentences are perfectly okay as long as they are constructed correctly. Also, important to distinguish pulp from literature, the agent here is describing rules pertaining to pulp i.e. simple prose. The omission of exclamation marks is an erroneous cliche - their overuse is a faut-pas, but an occasional one conveys effect. And finally, if you resort to using a plot tool you will never write anything original and your book will be indistinguishable from thousands of others.

@jchinckley

4 жыл бұрын

plot tool? What are you talking about? Plot is good, but what is a "plot tool"? Btw, the correct spelling (I suspect you know this and it's a typo) is "faux pas."

Hello, Sir. I'm really grateful for this absolutely helpful video. I was actually surprised to find that I made many of the mistakes you'd mentioned.

@ChimpoTalksGaming

2 жыл бұрын

Remove "absolutely" from "helpful video". It's an unnecessary adverb. Trust your verbs; they deserve respect.

great video! I'm on draft nr 2 of first novel - happy to say I've shaved off 20%. I'm still reading through it and although some passages merit a re-write, I'm very much aware of desired length. Thanks for sharing this video. It makes so much sense.

Surely exclamation marks can be used to show the character is speaking as if they’ve used one.

@saltech3444

2 жыл бұрын

The idea behind the advice is that if the character is speaking as if they've used one, you don't need to use one. If you need to use one, then you're patching up a defect. In theory.

This has been some of the best instruction I've seen. And it's free.

Great video!

Great video, Harry. I currently think I'm making one of those mistakes - let's hope my readers agree when I finish this novel.

He stared at the ceiling from the huge, green bed, the matching gossamer curtains framing the white expanse. Knowing from experience that the corpses strewn around the room wouldn’t begin to smell for several hours, he let himself doze. How’s that for a bed hook?

@CrazyMazapan

3 жыл бұрын

The second sentence is good. The first one sounds a bit overdone. Does it matter that the bed is green, or the gossamer curtains match? I'd have the characters look casually through the green gossamer curtains at the corpses in the second sentence, or something like that.

Great advice thank you.

As a virgin looking to break into publishing I was as nervous as a one armed school bus driver with an itchy bum and after watching this video my heart sunk like a WW2 submarine with a revolving front door and my spirit was broken into so many pieces you’d need the Hubble telescope to find the fuckin pieces, not to mention my hopes , before watching this my hopes would tell me that I can make it as a writer and now they tell I can eat three tubs of Ben and Jerry’s in one day . Don’t do this , don’t do that , don’t , don’t, don’t till the point we’re I don’t want to write but it’s been a dream of mine for years now and I will write my book for me and I will love it and I will be so proud of myself for achieving one of my dreams .......

@somersetscribe9146

3 ай бұрын

Wonderful. Just what I need right now -- a large slice of humour.

quick and professional...useful even if used as a brushup.

Thank you!

This was great...and unintentionally hilarious.

Using an exclamation point in dialogue is very useful and should be used to help describe anger or excitement.

@ItzNero69

4 жыл бұрын

I agree, but with measure

@Terminator550

4 жыл бұрын

afootineachworld In your example, it would depend on the context.

@retiefgregorovich810

3 жыл бұрын

No exclamation point when I expect one is jarring.

This man reminds me of my high school English teacher

George Orwell wrote sentences that went on for a whole page and worked very well. Not all rules should be followed. Description of a character's physical affects in response to a situation is one way to show and not tell.

@Glicksman1

2 жыл бұрын

@@remediosdesantahildegarda Read it again. Not only will it be a joy to do, but you'll find what you're looking for.

Very much enjoyed Harry. Very helpful. Shame about the slide whoopsy at point 22 but you are forgiven. Keep 'em coming. JH.

This is great advice

Thank you. 😎👍

Nice list. Thanks for sharing. But and observation regarding run-on sentences. Several great writers, like Thomas Pynchon and Cormac McCarthy, write many run-ons. McCarthy is more typical, running-on mostly while describing things, but I often wonder if Pynchon can write a simple sentence. All rules (or conventions) are made to be broken. Just break them intentionally.

Mistake #8: What if I have my character start out... UNDER the bed. >:) I didn't actually do this, just trying to put a new spin on it.

@Superkid33

2 жыл бұрын

LOL!!! XDD A monster character that spies on people underneath kid’s beds, interesting

@mkay187

Жыл бұрын

@@Superkid33 monsters inc. basically

Great list. The only one I gave myself a bad grade on was gaps between paragraphs. I use gaps between dialogue and narration to make the jump between the two obvious and it looks good to me. Is it really objectivly wrong to do it that way?

Does your exclamation mark rule apply only to narration? Because I can see exclamation marks being applicable to dialog in many situations, especially if you want to use it occasionally instead of dialog tags like ", he yelled, she screamed, etc. BTW, I'm surprised you don't have more subscribers. This video is filled with great information for new writers.

@andreasboe4509

Жыл бұрын

Exclamation marks do NOT belong in narration nor dialogue, and neither do capitalized words ! ! !

Great tips! Now all I have to do is write a book!

Excellent

If I may, here is a question that I have found deeply challenging. In common dialogue most people tend to make certain grammatical mistakes almost all the time. Here I am thinking of things such as the wrong use of the subjunctive ("I wish I was" rather than "I wish I were") or a confusion between less and fewer. To what degree should one intentionally allow such errors to sneak into the language of one's characters? Such errors make one's characters seem less refined and more down to earth, and yet my inner martinet shouts to correct such mistakes.

@coolcat1684

4 жыл бұрын

Oakheart you should write like your characters talk....

Less is certainly more, but then you get wiseguys who scream "SHOW DON'T TELL!!!" when you concisely write "she was nervous" instead of showing the reader that she was nervous by describing her movements.

Thank you

Thanks...very usefuf information. Greetings from Colombia The Venezuelan Immigrant writer 🌎

I am writing a book now and have used a few exclamation marks in my conversations, however, I used it to show anger in their speech and volume. Should I remove them even though it is meant to set the attitudes of the characters? Any advice is appreciated, thanks.

Does the exclusion of exclamation marks include character dialogue?

I've never seen a novel where the first paragraph is indented.. and The Girl on the Train uses brackets (and that sold quite a few copies), so I'll keep my brackets in :) That aside, some good advice (Y)

thanks Harry

the whole knocked outta a story thing confuses me as a concept. I can be deep in a story and react to stuff outside the story as needed, such as walking where there are people around me and stop as person in front does without looking. so if you are meaning losing where a person loses their spot on page; then I get that.

@brookebennett6006

4 жыл бұрын

Kody Tiffany it means that the characters or world do something that confirms to the readers that they’re not real. It exposes the puppet master behind the curtain of the story. Like a plot hole or character moment that makes you think “this is a mistake or uncharacteristic choice on the part of the author, and not just something happening in this fictional world.”

I’m not a pro; that’s for sure. These are great guidelines, sternly delivered, tersely explained-great for starters getting started...but, probably, not for experts.

Most of these I’ve been able to incorporate but I still have a problem with head hopping. I delineate those segments in any chapter by using ++++++ as a bridge but I see no easy way to change perspectives in any other way

@afaultytoaster

2 жыл бұрын

George RR Martin swaps perspectives between chapters

Exclamation points eliminate the possibility of irony. "No." vs. No!"

Good advice. However, in mistake #12, depending on the type of fiction, would you agree that this type of verbiage could be considered "literary" as opposed to commercial? I've read sentence structures like this in literary fiction.

A few years ago I finished the "The Chronicles of Narnia series" and I saw many brackeks

When you talk about exclamation marks, surely you are not referring to dialogue, but narration? Surely it is okay to use them in direct speech?

@peterdavino4408

2 жыл бұрын

I hope so because how else are you going to be able to make the emotion palpable?

@ChimpoTalksGaming

2 жыл бұрын

These are more guidelines than rules. Writing is about style, and to create style, writers often break the rules. Just try not to demolish the rules while you're doing it.

Not completely sure I agree with "abstract noun overload", seems to me an interesting effect can be had by utilising this technique. But what would I know, I have yet to publish. 🙂

Yes, well. I caught a couple of mistakes in your description above. "they’ll (and your readers) will" and "as a writer, that are" Even the best writers make mistakes.

@carlajenkins1990

4 жыл бұрын

That's why we have editors!

@77777aol

3 жыл бұрын

@@carlajenkins1990 The goal of any writer is to cut out the middle man; and exclamation marks.

@carlajenkins1990

3 жыл бұрын

@@77777aol How cleaver. You had to get in that little dig about exclamation marks---just to get in that snide remark.

@77777aol

3 жыл бұрын

@@carlajenkins1990 I leave the cleaver to the editor; snide or otherwise.

I find it funny that many of these "mistakes" are found in almost every best selling book.

I'm never satisfied with my work

I've never had any problem with run-on sentences. In fact, I do like them, both as a reader and a writer. The key is they must be constructed well, using the appropriate punctuation - and they must make sense, in regard to being very closely connected to each other for the thought(s) being expressed. Run-on sentences can also be very creative. I see professional writers use them well, in fiction as well as in nonfiction. Of course, as with any good thing, they can be overused, and as a writer you don't want to do this.

Great video, but with the myriad of alternative possibilities you could remove the 2 dummies book off the bookshelf behind you and replace them with something else lol.

Where is the link to see if your book is good enough ?

7:52 I love exclamation marks . . .

Do people really use brackets in their novels? One nice thing about never using them in the finished text is that you can use them freely in your drafts whenever there's a scene or description you don't feel up to writing just yet. {Insert description here} And it makes them easy to find during editing.

@ChimpoTalksGaming

2 жыл бұрын

He's an English chap and writing brackets to them are actually parenthesis: (..), not the brackets we Americans refer to normally.

How often should I describe a reused location? In my current story, there are a lot of meetings in one of the character's office. I already described it once, so now I just mention that's where they are.

@adamsucy6452

4 жыл бұрын

RyMann88 I’ve found using a barebones description of character’s office the 2nd time is the most you’ll need, unless there’s some important difference for that scene.

@th3teacher705

Жыл бұрын

It's been 3 years, so more for the lurkers: you can change the office in big and subtle ways to correspond with character growth and mood.

That link doesn’t work for me. It wants you to pay for a course first. Is that right? If so you should have said. Same happened with the emails you sent me.

A great list of rookie blunders. I’ve committed them all, and more: who/that confusion, comma splices, grammatically inconsistent lists, verb tense mistakes, accidental rhyming, embarrassing spelling errors (which vs. witch, etc.)... gad, the list is endless. All to say, I keep working on my craft, remain grateful to my writing friends, and try to stay humble.

@RyMann88

4 жыл бұрын

That's what editing and revising is for. I rarely sweat that kind of stuff on the first draft, i'm more focused in making sure my story is moving forward. Clean up and corrections come afterwards.

"Exclamation points don't really feel like fiction the way it is written today". "One in a 100,000 words is ok." Definitely your personal opinion peeking through there. Also the crying thing. You acknowledged it has been 50 years and your charachters cried 3 times in the whole book and a lot of sad stuff happens but you felt the need to change it because your (one) editor said it was a lot of crying? MAn. I really have to sift the wheat from the chaf with this video. Thanks for sharing. Quite a bit of wheat here still.

as to point 5. I am Sesquipedalian at times and easily forget what you do with your head for yes and no by mixing the words up. simpler is better, but it is not always an option that comes to mind first.

@ChimpoTalksGaming

2 жыл бұрын

Ironically, using the term "sesquipedalian" instead of "long-winded" is a valid example of when "simpler is better." The word long-winded is more readable, by far.

@kodytiffany5686

2 жыл бұрын

@@ChimpoTalksGaming True. Hence my issue. I do not like when my mind provides the less obvious choice but, thats what editing is for. I have one character in a story of mine that becomes far more long-winded as a quirk when they feel they are lying, so I have intentionally chose hard or Esoteric words for her to use. Shes an exception to my normal character that are meant to have a more normal vocab.

Very good and generally helpful. the only thing I would suggest needs a little consideration is the cut first draft 20-30%. If you were born and raised in an area that is known for its terse, sparse use of conversation--such as Minnesota--almost every 1st draft written by a Minnesotan needs to be expanded and filled with more sensory detail.

Question! I have an excitable potty-mouth of a character. Are exclamation points valid when used in spoken dialogue, or even internal monologue?

#15 Only Mojo Jojo, can talk as Mojo Jojo repeating re-utterances in 3rd person as he speaks to 3 people about himself Mojo Jojo. That character's unique speech pattern is fine for one character as a trait. Any other time does seem worse than amateur to me. (Mojo Jojo is from Power Puff Girls if you did not know or remember)

What I found after avoiding all these mistakes is a plain clean series of papers with the worst fiction I can make 😒😂😂

6:40 - It's = it is, yea we all get that, BUT isn't "it's" also possessive? If you're talking about the manuscript's chances (see how I used -'s- there?). The "it" is the manuscript. So "it's" works in that regard.

What's your opinion on Light Novels?

@eneois2619

4 жыл бұрын

Love em

Stephen King was very briefly a student journalist. He was teacher before becoming a full time writer. Tip 26: Research.